Join Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts, “the motherboard favorite” Linda Griffin, Dr. Jill Waggoner, Hunter Griffin, and Brittany Broaddus-Smith for an intelligent and healing live panel on overall wellness for your body! If you are experiencing domestic violence, and are in immediate danger, please call 911. If you would like anonymous, confidential help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.
I’m going to
ask Britney and Dr Jill to start and
then I want you to respond Hunter okay
so Dr Jill and Britney can you all tell
me where do you think we have maybe
missed the mark when it comes to our
relationship with our
bodies I’d say the first step is the
misunderstanding of presenting our body
as a Living Sacrifice because we got to
we kind of put the cart before the horse
you cannot present a Living Sacrifice
that you don’t know that is not
obedience that’s ignorance and you’re
kind of just going through the motions
so if we were to step back really learn
the vessel that we’ve been gifted learn
the place where the Holy Spirit dwells
then we can submit it to God with weal
with good stewardship and understanding
of what we’re actually doing
wow I think that we have um we only
think of our bodies as the
outward appearance when you talk to a
woman about her body she immediately
goes to you know what her hips are like
or what her lips are like or the things
that she wants to fix so we don’t really
have an understanding that it is a
temple number one but it is the place
that you dwell so this is where you live
this is where you have to live life and
if you don’t like the place that you
have to spend your whole life in then
that’s a
problem so the first thing is to say to
Every Woman every girl look at yourself
love all of
it cuz it is uniquely you you are the
only you on the planet the only one and
so the first thing is just say love what
you’re working
with Hunter you have to tell me now you
have the privilege of having Grandma
Linda as your grandma in real life we
just just our
Impostors but I’ll share her yeah you
share her with us and we thank you for
that can you tell me what is it like for
you to have such an example of Womanhood
as it relates to you being in
relationship with your body and just
recognizing what life can look like down
the road for
youo um as a
25-year-old leaning towards having that
grandparent
figure a lot of people think that she is
my mom and I’m just really blessed to
have a close relationship with her and
it really is a blessing to see that
example because in the world that we
live in with this generation living off
of social media standards and what
someone says you should do and all of
these things when when you have an
example that can anchor you and give you
that foundation and live the foundation
and speak and live what they’re speaking
is easy for you to not get lost in what
everything else is going on yeah so it
really is a blessing to not only have
that so close but to be able to
experience it and learn because just
like she is to everybody else she is to
me and my siblings and any teachable
moment she can have she will give and
it’s a blessing to have her be so real
and so raw and even in her age not
forget when she was 25
yeah
Grandma Linda I’m
wondering was the was body image as
pervasive of an issue when you were
coming to terms with loving your body
growing up cuz now there are so many
different images about how our body
should look and how big or how small
certain parts of our body should be and
there’s a lot of internalized hate that
we experience because our bodies maybe
aren’t showing up in that way or it
needs more work or we need to do X Y and
Z was that pressure something that you
had to experience too it wasn’t as
prevalent as it is
now um I was raised in a religious home
and I was taught whatever way you got
here whatever face you have whatever
body shape you have like where you are
and so as a little girl I knew that I
was going to be loved no matter what I
did and where I went because it started
at home I was taught to love me and what
I share on a daily basis with the women
of my church is to go home take your
clothes off and look at your
imperfections and learn to love your
pimples nobody else’s pimples do you
represent in that body but yours yeah
wow
yeah I was going to say Britney and I
see you look like you’re ready to say
something Dr Jill you do too go ahead
let us have it for I think that there’s
often times like especially now right
there self-care and that kind of thing
is a really sexy buzzword right now and
it’s this thought really that capitalism
says that you know women particularly
that we hate our body right but the
opposite of love is not hate it’s IND
and so there is a space where I would
love for us to get to as women
collectively where we just begin to
regard our bodies at all similar to what
Dr Jill said like begin to recognize
that this is just not something that
you’re just going through life with we
got to stop going through the motions
and begin to look at it and don’t don’t
just consider it as something to be used
something to be consumed something to be
offered but something that is yours and
love it enough to learn it to understand
it to call it would is supposed to be
called and not you know a nickname to
keep it at a distance and those kind of
things and recognize that it is it is
his for sure but it is yours as well and
you get to choose what you do with it
where it goes and how you feel about it
and then when you feel when your body
start talking to you don’t leave it on
red do something about the aches and the
pains and the discomfort and the
uncertainty and those kind of things wow
don’t leave your body on red that’s a
whole sermon into itself like a whole
one yeah I think one of the things too
as you
age um I know as I look back I I only
recognize this recently that I would
look at pictures when I was
25 and I think oh my goodness boy I was
gorgeous then I will look at a picture
when I was 35 and I noticed over the
years that I only appreciate myself in
retr ECT
wow so I never look at a current
me and think that the current me is a
good
thing and I think that’s just the the
consequence of always seeking what you
think is
perfection so I I I think that’s
important for us to recognize as women
that you have to a a few years ago I was
going through some old pictures and
one of my sorority sisters you know when
you’re in the dorm took a picture of me
about to get in the shower and I found I
saw the picture and I thought I I was in
the
[Laughter]
world with those hips and that
waist and I and I didn’t like the way I
looked that was so ridiculous to me it
was like what did I see see that was
wrong with that version of me so I think
that’s very important that we start to
look at ourselves in its current version
and and appreciate what it is that’s
that’s one thing the other
[Applause]
thing is I grew up in the 70s when you
know we grew up in that so when when you
know behinds were not good big lips were
not good and now you know
I’m
you I never thought that I would live to
see the day when my lips and my hips
were something that people were trying
to purchase yeah I I just I never
thought so I think that there is some
pressure that’s different now than it
was before but we are also coming into a
age of being able to appreciate our
curves and all of that stuff too yeah I
have a question um so I think there’s
this idea of us learning to embrace our
bodies and look at our bodies and then
there’s the reality that our bodies were
a part
of experiences that bring us
shame and disassociating with our bodies
or vilifying our body
or punishing our bodies for whatever
experience we had um is the only type of
relationship we have with our body and
when we have that toxic relationship
with our body it shows up in our
relationships with other people as well
how do we begin
to walk in
restoration when our bodies played a
role in what causes us pain or what
caused us pain we were kind of talking
about this in the green
room and uh the first thing we talked
about was how our bodies and
particularly our
sexuality has been used to control us to
vilify us um to abuse us um we have been
told that our sexuality
is a bad thing so we haven’t had open
conversations and because we were taught
that and we didn’t understand the beauty
of it and that it is normal and that it
is okay because it is something God
created it just has to be in the right
circumstance um we were invited into
rooms behind you know doors to do things
that we were trying to explore because
the conversations were not
honest and so the first thing is to
start to have open and honest dialogue
about all of our bodies and all of the
gifts and all of the physicality and
that it’s okay yeah absolutely and for
particularly starting from Young Folks
and then even now where we are curiosity
needs a safe place to land and it is in
the spaces where it doesn’t have a safe
place to land that the problems can
begin that’s where evil honestly flat
out can can come in it was where when we
think about you know Eve and when the
Satan came was like did God really say
that when when curiosity doesn’t have a
safe place to land confusion can either
the seeds of confusion can be planted
and we know what the fruit of that is
and it’s so the spaces like this
opportunities like U hey you a woman
involved where it’s normalizing this
conversation and say body parts even
being able to ask the question and not
feeling like you have to know so that
you can grow to a place where your
body’s not the seen in a crime anymore
and that is what the weight that we’re
carrying everywhere we go whether we are
the victim or the the perpetrator or
whatever everywhere I take this body
it’s the scene of the crime but we have
to trust God to clean up just like he
did with Peter when he cleaned up that
ear oh there is no crime here he can do
the same thing with us but we don’t will
we’re not willing to give him that or
give him the opportunity to show us that
he can do that right that he can you can
have this God you can clean up that you
can do that but this thing I have to
handle on my own which shows that we
don’t really trust him with all
things and that’ll take away the shame
wow that takes away the shame when you
have that understanding and so Grandma
Linda you said that was good what are
you thinking about this I’m loving
it because the doctor she’s a medical
doctor so she has patience that she has
had to deal with on the regular that
have had issues that have not been
discussed openly in the home and so the
therapist she’s also had to deal with
homes that have had children that have
gone through abuse so the conversation
has to
happen in my day when I was growing up
it was lots of Whispers
right Miss Missi child did such and such
to Mr Jones’s
child and it was hushed and
quiet but there has to be a conversation
had and sometime moms and dads are not
equipped to have the conversation about
and
so Pastor they have put taboo on
therapist and I think that that’s the
craziest thing I ever
heard because anybody that
spends 10 15 20
years in education to learn out how to
deal with issues with young people midle
age people got
issues that have not been
discussed and they’ve kept them on the
inside and they all cuckoo in the inside
of their head because they haven’t gone
and sat down with a
therapist I thinkk every black person I
know and I’m not being funny every every
white person I
know and I
love
everybody if you got an issue go sit
down with
somebody because sometime Pastor the
issues are too grave to
carry and we carry our issues to the
Grave when they should have been dealt
with across the couch wow
yeah am I right or wrong you’re right
about
it so every mother every grandmother
every great grandmother if you see that
your child or your grandchild or your
great grandchild got an
issue take them to this doctor
first the medical doctor let them get
examined I’m being very
serious and then take them to the
therapist on the end so that you can
find out what you’re dealing with
because sometime our insides are so
messed
up I wonder oh do you want to chime in I
was I mentioned like things that we take
to the Grave that should have been
handled on the couch and then we
recognize that a lot of that started at
the Cradle I like I like alliteration
story that’s why I ran that it started
at the cradle and either the lack and
really a lack of information right cuz
we teach by what we say as much as as
what we don’t say and so kids are very
intuitive And when they see something
happening and then they see you not
respond you’re teaching them a lesson
when you go Heads Shoulders Knees and
Toes pocketbook you’re teaching them a
lesson you’re exceeding shame that
there’s something I don’t know quite
what it is but there’s something there
and a lot of times when we we bring
those things into our marriages and
relationships things that were began and
were proceeded from childhood and that’s
why the conversation of therapy and all
the things that’s particularly um among
in our culture it’s changing and we
thank God for that but there’s still so
much more work to be done in that area
go did you want to CH in I was going to
say um I’m really grateful to have had
Parents with a a open mindset when it
came to therapy because just because
you’re going to therapy doesn’t mean
that something is wrong and when the
parent can’t do it the best thing is to
do therapy and my mom introduced all of
us to therapy when she went so she had
to go for herself first and then open
that door and as a young age and let us
experience that same thing instead of
waiting until we were in our 40s to go
through that and and have a lot more to
unpack versus starting from maybe like
one level you know and unpacking that so
going to therapy when I was 17 like
right out of high school and it was just
you know high school things especially
in this generation now is so much more
different you know 20 30 years ago and
so having that awareness and just being
able to unpack to communicate
communicate with myself realizing okay
this is not the emotion that I’m really
feeling what am I really feeling and
having that therapy mindset to really
take the time to understand me and
having an unbias somebody else because
when you have a therapist and especially
someone who knows God and can tie the
two of them together it really really
really makes a
difference when I was growing up Hunter
we had Purity culture was rampant it was
everywhere and as someone who got
pregnant at 13 I was like well if I’m
not that then I might as well be outside
and um I did I figured like if I’ve
already given it up it’s already damaged
goods like I might as well go ahead and
just see what’s happening out here and
um as a result of it I think with each
encounter that I end up feeling even
more devalued and the thing that I
thought would ultimately make me feel
good for the long time only made me feel
good for a moment and then I was deeper
in shame and yet I don’t think that
Purity culture is the answer either
because I think that it still puts worth
on a woman’s body what is our response
when raising young women when trying to
reverse what was normalized for us if
you’re not a virgin and you end up
having sex and nobody’s going to want
you anymore your damag goods you’ll have
to settle for someone and now we’ve got
women who are thinking because I’ve had
X Y and Z happen to me or I’ve done this
I need to really settle on who I’m in
relationship with or we have young girls
who were trying to teach them to embrace
their body and love their their body but
also not just share their body with
anybody like where is the tension
between I’m a Believer I believe my
worth my body has value but I’ve gone
through some things like how do we get
to a place of steadiness as it relates
to how we see our body and how we share
our body for me the first thing that I
think to combat that is we need to stop
making Purity or Holiness as relat to
sexuality feminine I think that there is
an absence of
conversation
about sexual stewardship as I call it as
a thing that women have to do and men
get it to do as an option and I don’t
know what Bible y’all read but there’s
no gender specific regulations as it
relates to those decisions and I think
if we bring men into the conversation
understand that absence Purity Chase
living is the thing that uh us as image
bearers of God collectively have to do
and not and additionally we teach sex as
something that men need and women choose
to do and so when men fall into sexual
sin that we we there was a stumbling
block somewhere and that kind of thing
but when you tying your Sho strings
together you was going to fall anyway
and didn’t matter what I had on what I
how I winked at you and none of that you
was on your way down right and so we
understand that you know the struggle is
real for us holding on God’s unchanging
hand amen hallelujah but the reality of
it is is is your heart postured to serve
God in this way if you the struggle for
me I see in my work comes in when people
do not have non this is the other way to
combat it we need to create spaces for
nonsexual sources of pleasure those who
struggle the most in sexual sin single
or married cuz sexual sin exists in
marriage as well are people who do not
have nonsexual sources of pleasure and
understand pleasure sensuality intimacy
is only erotic activities of the body
and that’s all broughten in the scope
understanding that God is the greatest
creative and when he gave us all of
these senses and he said the Earth is
the Lords and the fullness thereof we
have so many opportunities to take in
beauty that we can find rest and peace
and joy and pleasure and all the things
that we’re not reduced to the functions
of can I gen
[Laughter]
genitalia I I that that’s really really
good but I also think that it is
important to to help people understand
that they control that you control those
feelings and and so if you have a
conversation about the feelings and that
you are in control of that because often
we paint it as you were out of control
oh my goodness I just couldn’t help
myself yeah you really
could
that’s you chose not to but the choice
is yours nobody else gets to make that
choice for you I think that’s really
important and the other thing is again
honesty who really was
pure I mean really who was
pure when you when you start putting
those numbers together you know when
you’re going through the family tree and
you say
now how is Aunt so and so
50 and grandmother is
74 or grandmother is
64 you know and so that means that
grandmother was you know and
grandfather they were not
pure so having those conversations I
know when my children asked me me about
sexuality prior to
marriage I had to be honest with
them now the way you have that honest
conversation you may say to your
child if I had known differently I would
have done differently amen but the
reality is this is what it
was I think that when you start to have
real conversations and also to say to
them but that does not mean you are are
ruined for
life that does not mean that now you are
of no more value because the fullness of
you has value and so the conversations
are have to be bigger and broader and
real and truthful and you know Pastor
Sarah you and I talked about my
grandmother was very
open my grandmother was you make the
decision if you decide prior to I will
take you to the doctor I mean she was
that woman in our family because having
been born in
1922 when it came to decisions about the
body the woman had no power and my
grandmother was determined that as a
woman you had complete power over your
body so I think we have to empower our
girls and our boys to be able to make
those decisions and also just not to add
but to like then somebody when if you’ve
had that experience when you’ve had sex
before marriage or whatever the case all
of the misnomers about you know filthy
rags and chew gum and all the Terrible
Things nobody they not doing if somebody
decides to marry you and connect with
you and love on you they not doing you
no favors like that’s the piece that’s
the piece of it like you’re not being
done a favor because you when we say F
you’re willing to wait uh you are worth
waiting for you’re not you’re worth
waiting with yes and so if someone is
doing you a favor by abstaining then
they don’t serve they don’t have the
same value regarding Christianity as you
do and you have to understand
that
beautiful I think that most of us are
coming to a space where we’re hoping to
really be intentional about taking care
of ourselves having a healthy lifestyle
but also trying to resist the pressure
to live up to a certain body image can
we talk for a minute and then we’re
going to open it up for questions if you
guys have questions um Kayla and cor
will come to you can we talk a little
bit about how we come to a place of
taking care of our bodies uh from a
place of Health understanding the
connection between stress uh depression
trauma and how it shows up in our body
and how do we get to a place where we
can release some of that so that we can
make space for love and worth and value
and all of these things we’re talking
about everybody’s looking at me
the thing that I have been uh really
focused on recently is I think we all
have to think about what we want our
bodies to be and what we want our lives
to be in the ne next Decades of our
life so when you are 40 what do you want
50 and 60 to look like when you are 30
what do you want do you want to be able
to move around do you want to be strong
do you want your brain to still work if
you do then you have to prepare for it
and you always have to think about that
what do I want aging what do I want my
life to look like and so you have to
prepare by taking care of yourself which
means all of that it means sleeping it
means making sure that you are strong it
means not feeling your body full of
toxins it means you know all of that it
means getting counseling because it is a
closed system everything you do affects
all of it all of it and I think we have
to be intentional about it or as we age
it really can be
disastrous um I would say learning
boundaries um when you’re young it’s
okay to set boundaries um boundaries for
the people pleasing it’s so easy to get
caught in with your family and making
sure Mom and Dad and everybody else is
happy and your friends and you’re
competing with social media and who
you’re seeing has this and all of these
false narratives and setting that
boundary and really knowing what is
inside of you and what God placed inside
of you and knowing that what you have is
never what someone else is going to to
offer and why are you going to change
yourself to look like someone else when
what you have inside of you is
specifically for what God gave you and
knowing that even as a young person is
really important because you bring that
into your adulthood and years to come to
pass down and a lot of those lessons
that you don’t learn until you’re an
adult and it’s so easy to get caught in
that so just learning that
young I think for I would like for
everyone here right to that question is
to leave here with the understanding
that it is okay to want what you want
right we I think women often we aren’t
given permission to want things we’re
giv uh permission or even socialize to
sit look pretty and whatever comes your
way comes your way and be grateful for
it and then there’s a a category for the
for the go-getter women who like I don’t
want that cuz then it’s you know it’s
picky and I said no I ain’t picky I’m
particular and those you know want what
you want right and a lot of us sometimes
are handed our interest like social
media tells us what we like our group
chat tells us what we like what’s cute
what’s not because we don’t want to be
that L voice and then group think sets
in and then group interest and group
desire that’s why things go viral that’s
why things are popular but it’s okay to
be into this or not into that or like
that or prefer that or wear that or
don’t wear that if that’s your style
mama what it on where what you know
where are the things but just moving to
a place that’ll serve you even in
relationships to speak up a good
colleague of mine use uh says use your
mouth say the things what is it that you
want to be able to speak up for that and
when you do it at the nail saline when
the pedicure bowl gets a little warm ask
the lady to warm it up when you at the
restaurant if the food’s not right tell
them to give it back that’s transferable
skills you’re working those muscles that
you’re not just taking what’s given to
you you serve the god of the Universe
you don’t just get what’s given to you
go ask her what you
want do you guys have any questions for
our panelist throw your hand up Cor I’ll
find you Kayla’s on this side cor’s on
that side whoever gets to somebody First
We Take come on
sweetie tell us your name where you from
my name is diara and I am from right
here in Dallas Texas come on
dtown what’s your question okay so at my
church I am the youth leader
and now me I’m I’m waiting I’m waiting
praise God you waiting on what
um you know I’m waiting for my praise
God hallelujah yes so um
anyway um so I’m I’m 24 but I was raised
in that Purity culture not entirely but
just a little bit so now that I am the
youth leader I’ve created this space for
the um children to be open to me cuz you
know sometimes you not they’re not able
to be open to their parents they just
need that extra space that’s uh not
their parent to be able to talk um but
now in this
generation they’re starting to do more
than I’m able to do you know they’re
able to they’re able to it’s over your
head it’s above you now yes and you know
I’ve been praying I’m like God I don’t I
don’t want to lead them the wrong way
but
they have more experience than me
nowadays my God my God my
[Applause]
God so basically long story short you
know we say that after we took told a
long story long maybe Baptist or
something go
ahead um how do I continue to create
that space for them to be open even
though I’m not entirely sure how to lead
them and and help them with the
information that they need now
okay
[Applause]
grandmother well I think at
24 that you’re awfully
[Applause]
wise and trust and believe that God will
never put more on you
than you’re able to
handle and the reason that I say that I
at 18 was
married and I had a lot of friends that
was doing a whole big bunch more than me
and I elected to be married as opposed
to be doing all of that and it was doing
the most so as a youth
leader when young people people have
confidence in you that’s the highest
honor that you can be
given sometime you will have to take a
vacay like adults have to walk away for
a minute or two but then if it becomes
overwhelming then you go to your
Superior
and say I need
help and maybe there is another maybe 30
year old that they can have confidence
in that they can come because young
people have to have
somebody that they can relate
to they’re not going to come to me and
tell me I’m sexing they ain’t telling me
that but they will tell
Hunter
I like this guy and I want to do him and
no matter what the preacher say I’m
going to do
that why y’all laughing you better keep
it real grandmother maybe around the
sexing part that was
giggable so if you have another you a
duplicate
youu that you can run things by but you
got to be confidential you can’t share
their
[Applause]
information because when a young person
have confidence in
you they’re coming to you and sometime
they’re giving you their heart and they
won’t give it if you share their
business
yeah have you on the water the Bible
says to whom much is given much is
required so God is getting you ready for
something else baby cuz I couldn’t be 24
and a counselor today
baby was that helpful for you that can I
also say I’ve always been one of those
people that people felt comfortable
sharing things with and I would
challenge you to do two things I think
the first thing is to be willing to ask
them questions and to tell them what
you’re worried about like uh why do you
think you did that and what if this
happens to really play out some
scenarios in their head of what real
life outcomes can be so that you are
planting those seeds um telling them
about friends that you may know who’ve
had those experiences and you know cuz
these relationships with these kids like
they be in it in love in two weeks and
then they’ve been to fail out two weeks
later and like oh could you have
imagined if you felt this way about that
person and then two weeks later now he’s
talking about you cuz like those things
are things are happening do you know
anybody in a healthy relationship at
your age right now like that it doesn’t
really happen and sometimes it takes
some time before you develop which leads
me to so ask them questions that play
out real outcomes that they have to
consider and then the second thing that
I’m always challenged by is though like
many people see me as relatable and
authentic and some people are making
like lifestyle choices that I wouldn’t
necessarily agree with and sometimes we
stay silent because we don’t want to be
that friend if God has given you enough
wisdom to create an environment for them
to tell you the truth then there’s also
environment for you to tell them the
truth as well and B say listen I ain’t
going to judge you either way but I’m
telling you last time I did that this is
what happen and this is still right and
this so cool but whatever you decide to
do just know I’m going to stick it out
with you and we’ll walk it out together
but they will hear your truth if you’re
willing to say it you you may not sound
like some of those voices we hear in our
head God will give you l language wisdom
and insight on how to keep this space
safe while also telling the truth that’s
mine you’re welcome there you
go you holding down the the mother board
I’m on the mother’s board not yet okay
you’re holding it down one more question
Jesus whole time Kayla what you got for
me all right beautiful what’s your name
where you from and what’s your question
hi my name is telisa I’m from Milwaukee
Wisconsin I moved here two years ago and
I love Dallas by the way
hey uh my question is how do you let go
or hurt um Trauma from your childhood
people telling you you’re too dark
you’re too skinny you’re too big you’re
too sexual you’re too masculine how do
you let that go cuz I deal with it day
after
day since I was a child so how do you
let that
go sis I first want to remind you that
you were created in the image of God you
are a image bearer of our father so you
can be nothing but beautiful when God
saw all that he had made he saw that it
was not just good it was very good and
everything about you from the crown of
your head to the soulle of your feet
Falls in that very good and any messages
that you get that sits in opposition of
that fact is alive from the devil and we
cast down all vain imaginations that
acknowledges exalts itself over the
knowledge of God and you walk in that
every single day you look and first of
all that chocolate is chocolatin from
all the way over here
hallelujah can y’all go ahead and love
on our sister tell her how beautiful she
is Queen in Jesus name listen the
chocolate is chocolate P I’m
sorry see that’s what I’m talking about
I like it I like it I think it’s good
receive this though sis I want you to
receive all this loving that you getting
right now everybody pouring into you
because it’s the truth so I don’t want
you to bypass it I want you to take this
moment to take it all in baby cuz you’re
all of that Queen
absolutely I feel like hanging on to or
moving from a place of hanging on to
what people have said about you
negatively and move moving to God’s
truth it’s almost like hanging on monkey
bars when you’re a kid it’s hard to let
go of what people said if you don’t know
what you’re reaching for and I think to
really keep in your mind this is what
I’m reaching for so the moment where you
get honestly confirmation of an
insecurity because of what someone else
said you have to recognize that the part
of the reason why it stung so much is
because it got embedded in your soul but
because God can restore your soul when
you hear it you got to know no this is
is what I’m reaching for and quite
literally you may have to say out loud
while those voices are saying you’re
this you’re that to that no I am
beautiful I am anointed the chocolate is
chating like you need to boost yourself
up okay I’m fearfully and wonderfully
made I’m the badest there is you may be
bad but you ain’t as bad as me on today
and I mean say it with your wig off with
no makeup on just be ridiculously
beautiful like it ain’t no reason I
should be this pretty with these
straight backs on my head but look at me
fine with this Bonnet on like boost
yourself
up day daily affirmations yeah in the
mirror I look fly I look when my
grandchildren were young you I didn’t
compare one grandchild with the other
yeah but the one thing that I put in
every last one of
them is you’re
beautiful you’re beautiful to God and
Every Breath You Breathe is because God
said that you’re supposed to be here yes
[Applause]
hallelujah it’s hard to tell someone
that has been messed up from
childhood it’s hard but I have a hug
Ministry that I love to hug people that
have been hurt and when I hug them I
could feel the hurt from their I mean
when they were little bitty kids and
then I go to hugging them so I said God
this person has been wounded so for
every woman in here every girl in here
that has been
wounded goe come
on I’m not
playing I want you to hug yourself
hug
yourself and I’m going to pray right now
M Pastor can I you call me mother go
[Laughter]
ahead but I’m very
serious because when I Endeavor to pray
I want to reach
heaven because you came here
looking for something greater than you
you want to leave here better than you
came so put your arms around
yourselves and we’re going to go to the
throne of grace come on and I’m taking
close your
eyes and we’re not laughing we’re very
serious and everybody in here with their
eyes closed and you’re taking yourselves
back to a little little
girl you had kinky hair you had straight
hair you had light eyes you had dark
eyes you had black skin you had light
skin you had white skin you didn’t know
your daddy you didn’t know your mother
you were raised by your grandmother God
today I’m asking that you take an eraser
in the minds of these
women the children God that have been
abused I’m asking that you erase from
their memory the
hurt that they bear God take it
away let them know that you were made in
they were made in your image and nothing
comes to this earth not unless you
breathe the breath of air into their
lungs let them leave here God better
than they walked in
let them know that you love them and
that you have made them and you’ll never
forget them you said that you will be
the mother to the motherless you’ll be
the father to the fatherless oh God I
ask now that you go inside of each woman
and prepare her for her
future send them to college God if that
be their desire send them to high school
God to get get their GED but God don’t
let them forget you and then when the
enemy brings back their past you remind
them to remind him you don’t have a
future but every day that I live I live
for you and that my future is in you and
I declare God today that every woman in
this room is going to be feeling better
about themselves now let’s give God a
praise and I bind the devil’s hand on
Grand I bind the devil and I bind him at
the
root because he is a
deceiver he’s a
heartbreaker but God said that he’s a
mind regulator so I ask that God
regulate your mind
and stand up on the inside of
you every creature that God made is
beautiful you’re beautiful to God you
might not look in the mirror and say I
look like Cleopatra but oh God I’m your
child and you can remind
God I was conceived god with you and
mine cuz you said that I was made in
your image you can remind God about
whose child you are the devil is a liar
in all his
imps the mother’s
board amen amen yes ma’am
amen tell us your name and where you’re
from I’m Tria and I’m from Dallas oh you
going to have to speak up like a
preacher voice like like from out of
your belly okay yes I’m Tria and I’m
from Dallas and I remember um she was
saying something about finding other
ways to stimulate
yourself um when you’re trying to
abstain and I was just trying to see
what other ways she had in mind to do
listen me too child yeah like what she
said what other ways do you have for
simulation of the stimulation of the
single woman that is outside of the
sexual stimulation that they are unable
to participate in what are some things
that you recommend to that woman
doctor asking for a
friend me I am that
[Applause]
friend so nonsexual I thought I think
you talking about the the conversation
about the nonsexual forms of pleasure
yeah them
yeah them the ones you know start with
your start with your senses right what
do you like to look at that is
Holy I knew where you was going that is
hly Doc I’m sorry I mean we understand
that the men of God are a pleasure to
behold amen how and it’s all right that
you notice them cuz noticing you know
that’s natural desire r that’s natural
when you when you go back and take a
second look then that’s when we get to
the lust and all that but that’s another
conversation so what do you like to look
at how to create a space in your home
that smells good upgrade the the thread
count on your sheet so that when you’re
in the bed that thing feels good buy
Better Body creams when you’re lotioning
your body if you love you know a lot of
people say physical touch is the hardest
love language to abstain through that’s
not true either but if your love
language is physical touch massages
somebody got a spy gift card those type
of things leaning into the things that
feel good to the touch that have nothing
to do with other people that is only for
you and not the you know self-pleasure
kind but you know the other kind the
pleasures of flowers and um trees
uh music I mean like picnics and bouquet
roses I’m out doc I don’t know what to
tell you
Kayla listen that thread count with them
sheets that’s a real thing baby that
feel good okay amen better when you got
somebody in them
huh sorry doc sorry sorry get a weighted
blanket yes a weighted blanket a
weighted blanket a body pillow I want
myself I’m going need a few of them I’m
going to be quiet cor tell me to shut up
all the time somebody buy me a weighted
blanket I’ll buy you wayed blanket our
Amazon Prime it go ahead Kayla all right
I got a question right here what’s your
name where you from and what’s your
question my name is Aaliyah I am from
Compton California come on Compton hey
okay listen
ah period okay we’re in the house of the
Lord house of the Lord fresh out of
Engle wood let’s be clear
okay sorry back to the question amen
Kayla amen Kayla we going to talk about
that in the Deb you know that’s my Holy
Ghost Dance a little walk a little walk
okay sis what’s your question yes so I
am 29 years young today happy birthday
sis thank you um I got some comments for
the other questions but I’mma stay
focused um so I never feel like I got
the chance to be
sexy like I know everybody like you know
want to post pictures and like it goes
back to the social media like
expectations you know where like you
want to expose yourself but what I
realiz is that your body is a temple my
question is how can you still be sexy
but still be walking in the Faith of
Christ
yeah yeah and uh to add to it I kind of
put like that is something that is it
doesn’t have to be exposed I I think
that’s the misconception that social
media puts on us today is that
everything has to be broadcasted
everything has to be put out there but
that is actually something that’s sacred
and so how can you still kind of you
know be sexy and walking in faith with
Christ huh I don’t why do why why do I
have to answer
it
girl I you know I I have tried I think
two ations of Sexy and I think one of
them was very much so dependent on what
you wear and how you show up and what
you give out energy-wise and I think I
am probably in the sexiest iteration of
myself right now but it is not something
that I strive to do I think there’s
something about fully owning your story
your life everything about you where
like sexy is just like an organic
byproduct of it it’s not necessarily
something I’m trying to do I’m just
trying to do me and when I do me
successfully I think it gives off an
energy that is like that girl knows
something about herself that I’m need to
figure out but I’m married so you can’t
figure it out but you got to tap into
yourself and your identity and a way
that I think um makes you so confident
that you can do it I mean I got on a a
turtleneck down to my shoes I’m
completely covered and yet I still feel
like I’m that girl you know what I mean
like period perod but I mean I feel like
it with a sweatsuit on and I mean like I
think that when you feel like I’m that
girl like and I worked hard to be this
girl and there were threats against this
girl and I was ashamed once and I was
broken down to nothing and I abandoned
myself but now I reclaim myself I am who
God says I am I walk with my head held
high any room I walk in is lucky to have
me in it because I just stepped in here
and something’s going to shift like I
think there’s just an energy that you
carry when you know who you are and so
it’s less how can I be sexy and more how
can I be who I am and when I am who I am
it’ll just show up everywhere I go boom
is
that
okay last question last question oh
that’s it did I I hope I helped you call
her back leave a message oh she what
what’s your name no this is the last
question yeah I know she it looked like
the baby had more to say okay uh tell us
your name and where you from okay my
name is Shay hey y’all um I’m 25 I’m
from Dallas what’s up right DET right um
so my question is essentially like kind
of picky backing off like some other
people’s questions was living in this
Society where I think we’re moving into
a realm where we’re embracing our
sexuality but kind of like over sexual
like you know over sexualing or over
sexualizing our bodies I feel like
trying to move in Christ and maintain
that Purity is kind of hard and so I
just wanted like to know the real real
advice that y’all would give in trying
to maintain our Purity in this current
generation where we pretty much expose
ourselves on social media and
yeah
grandmother NOP I ain’t touching it
Dr
Britney um so I’ll speak for I’ll speak
from I’ll start with this premarital
abstinence and post-marital abstinence
are a beast of two different colors
right and when you walk into the space
that Pastor Sarah just laid out when you
feel like that you’re that girl it makes
it even more difficult to do because
when you know what you could do you
really struggle to hold it from the
people of God
Amen but it is also more important to do
it when you know who you are right
because you understand the weight of
what you are stewarding so for me in
this season that means really curating
what I takeen the things like protecting
your eye gate and ear gate sometimes it
feels like just something to say because
you’ve been in church for a long time
but it really is curating your algorithm
right because the algorithm bends to
what you want why we are drawn away by
our own what okay and so the algorithm
bends to that so making sure you are
paying attention to what you like what
you look at what you take in what
conversations you have the company that
you keep and begin to trust in the areas
where that don’t align with your values
ask the Lord to come in and clean that
part because he will give us our desire
so if there’s a area of a desire that
you had that does not line up what you
know to be the word of God that’s the
area where you and God need to spend a
little bit more time is that
helpful wonderful yeah I definitely Echo
everything you say I do think part of
that really knowing who you are does
come down to also recognizing like if I
give myself away it’ll change your life
and mind and not everyone is worthy of
that level of investment especially when
we are not in a covenant relationship
and so I think it is a full embracing of
your worth and your identity I know that
uh there was a card that I needed to
have before we close out this panel um
in an effort to really make sure that we
are
living in such a way that honoring our
body becomes something that isn’t
challenging any longer and that we’re
also taking the health initiatives to
make sure that our bodies are taken care
of one of the things that we wanted to
do thank um you’re
shonica uh
sorry um they told shonica is a breast
cancer survivor I’ll
just and they told me your story
shabica was diagnosed December 6th of
2022 then she found out she lost her job
December 16th
2022 her last dat on the job was
December 31st and it was also the
surgery to remove her tumor
she’s a part of the administrative team
here in Destiny worlds and her
commitment has been unwavering even
going through treatment she’s still been
showing up she trained somebody to take
her job all while going through breast
cancer and tonight in honor of it being
breast cancer awareness a month woman
evolv wants to give you $5,000 towards
your recovery your Cancer
Treatments you starting your life
over
[Music]
we are believing God for your healing
for complete restoration of your body
that you will lack nothing as you go
through your recovery and so we plead
the blood of Jesus over every cell in
your body and we call it to come into
alignment with God’s original intention
we thank God in advance for the
testimony connected to your life we
speak healing from the crown of your
head down to the soues of your feet we
decree it is so in the name of Jesus and
we thank you that the investment that
you have sown into others is going to
spring up in your life in unexpected
ways this is just the beginning can you
guys help me thank God
for a heart to serve and every
[Applause]
season thank you
shonica I love you um okay we’re getting
ready to close out we’re getting ready
to head out um Tiffany Mina are you here
Tiffany oh she hey Tiffany uh Tiffany
Mina she has an incred she’s been a part
of the Wall family for quite a few years
she’s an author a Advocate a speaker and
disruptor who raises awareness and
advocates for those whose voices have
not yet been heard she talks about
domestic violence not just in the homes
but also in churches as well we have
$5,000 for you as well and the work that
you’re doing so thank you so much you
guys have to get plugged in and
connected her network is Dove’s network
if you know someone who’s struggling
with domestic abuse and they’re trying
to recover or you’re looking for the
sign
definitely get connected with her she is
the executive director of dov’s network
can you guys help me thank God for our
panelist
tonight come on you can do better than
that this is our last
heyu we’re going out with an incredible
Bang