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hey family this is sarah jakes robertson

i am so excited about the incredible

word that you’re about to receive

there’s just a few things i want to tell

you before we dig into the word number

one let’s make this thing official

subscribe to our youtube channel you’re

already plugged in make sure you don’t

miss anything that comes out of this

house the second thing did you know that

it’s more than just videos we are doing

so much to help the community and we

want you to partner with us in literally

changing the world given to this

ministry so the fruit of it is

incredible the instructions are on the

screen make sure that you are a part of

what god is doing through one online

lastly my husband’s book balance is

coming out and i am so excited and i got

a gift for you you will get the first

three chapters of the book by going to

the link below when you pre-order

pre-order the book you don’t want to

miss it it has tremendously blessed my

life and i can’t wait for you to see

what i’ve already partaken in balance is

going to rock this world okay let’s get

into the word

i am

i was holding my man’s hand before i

came up here

because you know i’d be scary when it’s

time to preach

and i told him i was sucking the

strength out of his hand can you all

help me just thank god for

my husband my covering my pastor

my heart my peace

my inspiration

my joy

my hallelujah and my amen my best friend

my encourager my challenger

baby thank you for being home no matter

where i am i’m always home when i’m with

you and i love you for that thank you

for creating this environment for me to

flourish i love you

i love you that’s my

it’s my booth thing

chad i came out here in this black and

white i said god’s trying to get me to

join the worship team i didn’t even know

it

said my god did you see that

he hasn’t given me the voice yet but i’m

dressed the part and that’s all that

matters most at the time

he is doing it i like them already we in

the flow

um

second samuel

chapter 12.

i’m going through one of those seasons

where

you realize you’re not as saved as you

thought you was i don’t know if anybody

i’m being honest sometimes god takes you

through something

and reveals something about you with

your character and your ways of being

that sits you right on down

thought you had it together

thought you knew what you was doing

and god says you still got some learning

to do some growing to do

that’s the season i’m in so if you don’t

mind i’d like to share

from my personal prayer time

what god is showing me about this season

i’m in and my prayers that it will bless

you

my title is

blessed

blind

and broken

blessed blind and broken

second samuel 12

15. for those of you who don’t know or

are unfamiliar with this passage david

is king

and he’s been raggedy

he’s been real raggedy he had murdered

somebody child he didn’t got somebody

knocked up he didn’t done he didn’t done

the things he’s

trying to be on the real husbands of

atlanta i don’t know

he’s auditioning and no one even called

him to do this he’s doing too much

god sends a prophet nathan and says

you’re doing too much and you don’t even

see that you’re doing too much so you

need a prophet to tell you that you’re

doing too much and before we judge we

got to be honest that sometimes we be

doing too much and don’t even know we’d

be doing too much to that bank account

said you did too much

or that child said you did too much or

that spouse says you’ve been doing too

much and so we find david in this moment

where he has learned

that he’s been doing too much

he didn’t even recognize himself

and the prophet nathan comes to him in

verse 15 it says then nathan departed to

his house after telling him he did too

much and as a result of him doing too

much there was going to be a consequence

that consequence is that the child that

was birthed through the affair was going

to die

the nathan departed to his house and the

lord struck the child that uriah’s wife

bore to david and it became

ill

david therefore pleaded with god for the

child and david fasted and went in and

lay all night on the ground

so the elders of his house arose and

went to him to raise him up from the

ground but he would not

nor did he eat food with them

then on the seventh day it came to pass

that the child died and the servant of

david were the servants of david were

afraid to help tell him that the child

was dead for they said indeed while the

child was alive we spoke to him and he

would not heed our voice how can we tell

him that the child is dead

he may do some harm

when david saw that his servants were

whispering david perceived that the

child was dead

therefore david said to his servants is

the child dead and they said he is dead

david did something strange

he didn’t get upset

he didn’t stay on the ground david arose

from the ground washed and anointed

himself and changed his clothes and he

went into the house of the lord in

worship god didn’t do what he asked him

to do

god didn’t deliver and he was laying on

the floor for seven days on the ground

praying for this child and when god

didn’t deliver he still doesn’t turn his

back on god he doesn’t get upset he goes

into the house of the lord and he

worships

then he went to his own house and when

he requested they set food before him

and he ate so now he eaten

worshiping and standing up again

and it begs the question

what was happening to david in this

moment

that he was able to switch

into this posture once he didn’t receive

what he wanted from god how did he

assume the position that god placed him

in in the first place i wish i could say

it the way that i feel it

but when god disappoints us

and we move out of position

we don’t just harm ourselves we harm our

relationship with god and david has the

fortitude in this moment to say that

even though you didn’t do what i wanted

you to do even though you didn’t show up

in the way that i know i’m not asking

you to do something that you can’t do

you could have fixed this thing and you

didn’t do it but he still gets back in

position because that’s where god placed

him and i want to understand

the mentality of someone who knows what

it’s like to be blessed blind broken but

still in position

spirit of the living god

these are your people

and this is your church

so god i pray that the words that come

out of my mouth and this meditation of

my heart that they would be acceptable

in your sight because if they are

acceptable in your sight then they will

be transformational in this room

so god i turn this service over to you

and i say have your way great god that

you are

only you can take a word and make sure

that it meets each and every person in

this room where they need it the most

and so we bless your name god and we say

simply do that thing that you do when

your glory sits in the room

and may strongholds come down may chains

be broken

and may we feel our peace and our joy

and our strength again in a fresh new

way

in jesus name i pray

amen

i was um

looking at my cell phone the other day

and i was thinking to myself how crazy

it is how small phones are now i

remember

i want to see who’s in this room if you

got one of them first cell phones than

brick cell phones when they came out can

you just raise your hand y’all really

thought i was something the bricks

didn’t y’all y’all really thought you

was special with them brick stopping is

isn’t it crazy no no i’m gonna see who

else is in this room if you had a big

screen tv

with a booty on the back like it had

that big o

with the wood grain around it who was in

the oh that wood grain was special

edition

isn’t it crazy how technology just kept

shrinking and shrinking now we got

pancake booty tvs it ain’t even nothing

back there no more they just flat

screens they call them flat screens not

because they flatten the fronts because

they flat in the back they don’t have

that thing in the back no more listen

the more that technology evolved and

changed the more knowledge that

technologists were able to accrue the

smaller and smaller devices became

because the more knowledge now i have

the ability to change the size of what

was once big i

marvel at this with televisions i marvel

at it with

cell phones and there are so many

different computers my god they just get

smaller and smaller the more knowledge

we have and i think that this is great

for technology but i am worried that it

is not so good when it comes to the

things that we don’t want to shrink

like when love is big

and beautiful and bright

then you’d learn a little bit more about

that person

and now all the all of a sudden that

love begins to shrink because i got more

knowledge i didn’t know

everything that i know now and it’s not

that i don’t love you it’s just that

that love is now balanced by what i know

about you

anybody with a newborn baby can tell you

like i when i first held the baby oh

love i love that baby when that baby

woke up every two hours it’s not that i

didn’t love you i just had not known

that you was gonna be waking me up and

changing i can’t even shower something

happens

joy

big amazing laugh out loud

and then the last time you had joy you

got one text message one phone call

that shrunk that joy something happens

that makes us shrink

the things that are supposed to stay big

feel like this happens with our

blessings sometimes too

when we first get the blessing we first

get the job we first get the

relationship we first get the

opportunity that blessing is huge

and then we learn all that is required

in order to maintain that blessing

i didn’t know that it was going to take

this much to maintain the ministry i

didn’t know that it was going to take

this much to maintain the job to build

the church i didn’t realize it would

take this much to build the book and now

the blessing feels like it is shrinking

too but i was studying and i started

wondering does the blessing shrink or do

we shrink when faced with the blessing

the blessing really doesn’t change

i’m still excited i got the job i just

didn’t know that the job was going to

require me to enlarge sometimes we pray

for god to enlarge our territory not

realizing that you talk about houses and

cars and god wants to enlarge the

territory of you so when i bless you

you’re not necessarily the size of the

person who can maintain the blessing but

the blessing is a sign that there is

development inside of you that will

allow you to be increased to the person

who can navigate this blessing

i think part of the problem is that when

we hear the word blessing we see it as a

gift

and i don’t always have to do anything

for a gift it’s just a gift it doesn’t

require anything from me it just falls

into my lap but i was studying the

different definitions of blessing and i

was looking at a hebrew lexicon and i

realized that there is a definition of

blessing that is probably more accurate

to what we experience when we get a

blessing from god

this definition says that a blessing is

a speaking of the excellence of a person

or thing speaking of the excellence of

something

this is no surprise because now we

understand when you say a blessing

before your food i’m going to speak a

speech of excellence over what’s taken

place

so when god gives you a blessing

that blessing is speaking of the

excellence connected to who you are oh

god help me

you may not necessarily be that person

yet

but the blessing is an indication of the

excellence that is down inside of you

that’s why sometimes we receive

blessings and we say to ourselves i

don’t feel qualified we have imposter

syndrome and in a way you’re right

because you’re not really the person who

is worthy of the blessing but the

blessing is an indication that you can

become the person who sees the blessing

as your norm you can become the person

who sees the blessing as a part of what

is organic to who you are because you

grew into that i wish i was talking to

some people in this room who’ve had to

grow into some blessings i didn’t know

that i was going to have to grow into it

but i realized that if i was going to

hang on to this thing god gave me i was

going to have to grow and become someone

i’ve never been before and god used the

blessing as a carrot dangled in front of

me so that i would grow into the person

who could break that generational curse

so that i could grow into the person who

could budget differently so i could grow

into the person who understood that if

i’m really going to be planted that i’m

going to have to become something i’ve

never seen before that blessing was

speaking of the excellence i want to

talk to somebody who keeps rejecting the

blessings because the blessings require

something that you don’t have and i want

you to understand the fact that the

blessing is even in reach is an

indication that it’s inside of you for

you to reach forward the excellence is

in you the creativity is in you the

strategy is in you the power is in you

the anointing is in you and the blessing

is a sign that it is within reach i got

to take a minute there

because god’s not into wasting blessings

god’s not into wasting his glory god’s

not into wasting his identity so if god

allows you access to the blessing the

blessing is meant to help you access you

god

god you didn’t allow something to happen

for me that should never happen for

someone like me i don’t have the

education i don’t have the connection

but this blessing is telling me that i

might be qualified this blessing is

telling me that i may be able to walk

into it anyway and i don’t want to

reject what you’re holding up as a

mirror so instead of rejecting it god

i’m going to ask you what is this

blessing trying to show me about me what

is this blessing trying to pull out of

me what excellence is in me that i’ve

been calling average

excellence

me that i am uncertain of

excellence in me that i’ve never seen

executed before

excellence in

me

jesus has this way

of helping us to understand

that a blessing is more than a gift

a blessing is a mandate to grow

the blessing is a call to excellence

and when god begins to call you to

excellence

if we are not careful we will be so

enamored by the blessing

that we miss that there is a mandate

connected to it

that there’s growth and development

connected to us

and so most of us have to train

ourselves to lose the appetite for a

blessing that feels like a gift

and requires nothing from us

and instead recognize that when i ask

god for a blessing i’m also asking god

for a stretch

that’s all right

when i ask god to bless my marriage

when i ask god to bless my children

when i ask god to speak excellence over

what i’m doing that that means that

god’s going to dissect whether or not

what i am doing is excellent and if god

blesses me he’s going to stretch me into

excellence i feel like that’s a word

within itself somebody’s in this room

and you’ve been losing your mind trying

to figure out what’s going on and i hear

god saying that i’m being stretched into

excellence that you’re being stretched

into the person who can handle the

blessing you’re praying for that you’re

being stretched into someone who can

break a generational curse that you’re

being stretched into someone who can be

married for 20 30 40 years that you’re

being stretched into someone who can

decree a thing and it be established in

the earth you want to break a

generational curse you don’t have to be

excellent in every way you want to break

something off of your family you can’t

sit down and be cute your prayer life

gonna have to be excellent your

worship’s gonna have to be excellent

your heart is gonna have to be pure i

feel like god is calling us to a level

of excellence that we’ve never seen

before but i hear god saying it doesn’t

matter what you’ve seen it matters what

i’m calling you to is anybody wanting to

pick up the phone because god is calling

you to excellence i want to be more

excellent than anything i’ve ever seen

before i want to be more excellent than

my generation can even have room to

imagine i want to be more excellent than

even i can imagine and i feel like god

is calling me higher calling me higher

calling me higher and what i’m going to

have to do is be willing to go blind

because the desire to be excellent

makes me want to have a model

so i know what i’m shooting for

but if you have a model you’ll be an

imitator

[Music]

[Applause]

and if god says behold i’m gonna do a

new thing in you

you don’t get to have a role model for

this excellence

i feel like talking crazy because i’m in

the south but you’re gonna have to put

on your big boy draws

and your big girl panties and say that

i’m gonna be excellent whether i have a

model or not i’m gonna be excellent

whether they understand it or not i’ve

never seen it but excellence is in my

blood i’ve never breathed it but

excellence is in my lungs when he

breathes his breath inside of me he

breathed excellence inside of me so i’m

trying to push out the breath that has

been

breathed into me

how can i be a partaker of the divine

nature of god and not be excellent

so if i am not excellent

it is because i have been deceived that

my excellence does not have value

and it does not have worth

because my excellence has been

contaminated by

people

thoughts

experiences shame

but it’s still excellent

you got to understand

that nothing has happened that has

tainted the excellence of god in you

you are the excellency

of god

so maybe the greatest

mind

paradigm that i need to possess

is that i need to believe that i have

access to excellence

even if i don’t have access to the

people who i thought would bring it out

of me

even if nobody spoke it over me

even if my environment tells me

everything contrary i still got a man to

be anchored

in the lord is to believe that i have

access to excellence even when they say

i’m in a food desert that i’ve got

access to excellence even when i don’t

have the finances i don’t have the

education but i can still be excellent i

don’t have the community but i can still

be excellent i want god to look at me

and say man they were excellent with

what i gave them

so i gotta go blind

because if i don’t go blind

i’ll be frustrated that i’m not becoming

what i’ve seen other people

do and become

man

blessed

blind

and broken

man to be blind

i think a lot of us don’t want to be

blind

because we think it means that we can’t

see

man i’m thinking about moses let me

digress for a moment

moses was blessed

his mother said not my child maybe maybe

somebody else’s but not mine

and she takes him and she creates a

strategy to keep him from being murdered

at a time where the hebrew boys there

was a tag over their head but he was

blessed with a mother who said not mine

and yet even when he is pulled out of

the river and given to pharaoh’s

daughter

that’s a blessing too

but the problem is that he was blind in

his blessing

and that he didn’t realize how he could

be an excellent hebrew

in an egyptian household

the blessing was

something everyone else would have

envied but because he couldn’t see how

to be an excellent hebrew

in an egyptian household he resented the

blessing

because he’d never seen how to do this

before

he didn’t have a model so he rejected it

and he pushed himself away from the very

thing that was supposed to save him

because he didn’t realize there is no

crime in being blind

it’s that you have to be willing to

admit that you were blind

so that you can see how god has set up

sight

because just because you’re blind

doesn’t mean you don’t have sight

god’s never going to allow you to just

be blind

god’s always going to make sure that

there is a strategy that will allow you

to have sight

so when god has to come get moses

because he has rejected the blessing of

his position he goes to get moses and

moses says i can’t go back because i

don’t see how i’ll be able to stand up

to the egyptians i don’t see how i’ll be

able to speak and he said so i’m going

to pull aaron in because aaron’s going

to be your sight for the area that you

cannot see you got to thank god for the

people in your life who god uses to give

sight for the areas where you’re blind

we talk a lot about haters we talk a lot

about the people who couldn’t see us but

there are some people who can see us in

the areas where we are blind and when

god allows you to have access to someone

who can provide you sight in a dark

season you got to know that that’s all a

part of god’s strategy that the strategy

of you means that god took into account

the areas where you would be blind you

don’t have to see everything to be

all that you can be

david is blind

blind as they come

he just didn’t know it

so god sends the prophet nathan to give

him this story and he gives him this

story and when he gives him the story

he realizes in this moment that he’s

been acting outside of his character

he’s been acting outside of his position

because he was just resting on the fact

that he was king and when you’re king

sometimes the crown covers your eyes and

you can’t see anymore

when you get the position sometimes you

can’t see the areas where you still need

growth and development the crown is

heavy so heavy that it can blind you

from seeing who your friends are and who

they really aren’t the crown is so heavy

that it can keep you from seeing where

you’re getting too arrogant where you

don’t have enough wisdom where you need

a little support the crown is so heavy

everybody wants the crown but not

everybody realizes that when you wear

the crown you can’t hardly keep your

head up sometimes because that crown is

so heavy everybody wants the followers

everybody wants the name and i’m here to

tell you that sometimes this crown is

heavy sometimes this crown feels like a

burden sometimes this crime feels like

inadequate sometimes this crown makes me

feel blind and i don’t always lean into

god when i feel blind and whenever i

don’t lean into god when i feel blind i

have to start feeling things out and

when you start feeling things out you

start touching things you shouldn’t

touch because you didn’t realize that

that crown was

i wish i was talking to somebody in this

room

who knew what it was like to have to try

and fill things out

because i’m blind in that oh god

somebody’s got to forgive themselves

for the things that they were trying to

fill out

because they didn’t realize

that they were blind

so i touched some things that i

shouldn’t have touched

and i said some things i shouldn’t have

said but nobody realized how heavy this

crown was

that i didn’t know what i was doing

david wasn’t supposed to be king

and we shout over that that he became

king

but nobody tells you the cost of being

king means that you can’t

always figure out what you’re touching

because the crown makes you blind

and you need people in your life

god is sending people to your life

to help you

understand who you are

and where your limits are and where your

boundaries need to be

when we find david in this text

he just realized that he’s blessed

and blind

and that creates a level of humility

that not many of us

really dabble in we want to be blessed

mainly so we could you know show

everybody you would sleep on me wake up

look what this blessing then showed you

about me

david gets blessed

but in this moment in the text he’s

dealing with the reality that he’s blind

we say this all the time i’m too blessed

to be stressed

but david is blessed and stressed

because i didn’t realize

that this blessing was going to require

so much from me

i’m blessed and i’m stressed

because i don’t want to mess up this

blessing

and i don’t want to lose this blessing

but i don’t know what all is in me

anymore i can’t trust myself anymore

because i didn’t know i was blind i wish

i could say this the way that i feel it

in my spirit but the cost of being

blessed and blind does often create

stress because there is a part of you

that wants to make sure that i maintain

the blessing god has given me but i want

someone to understand tonight that it is

not your job to maintain the blessing

that god gives you that god has given

you the blessing and all you have to do

is make sure you stay surrendered to god

and if you stay surrendered to god it

doesn’t matter the areas where you’re

blind it doesn’t matter the areas where

you don’t have a role model it doesn’t

matter who’s with you or who’s against

you it doesn’t matter what they say at

the bank and it doesn’t matter what they

say at the school because when you’re

really blessed by god god’s already

taken into account the areas where you

don’t have enough and because god took

that into account he gave you the

blessing because you’re the only one who

could take that blessing and turn it

into generational blessings you’re the

only one who could take that blessing

and bring it to the full manifestation

of who god has called it to be i don’t

know what blessing is either coming into

your life or already in your life but i

hear god saying that if you think you

have to maintain it you’re going to lose

it the only thing you have to do is pay

more attention to who gave you the

blessing than the blessing itself it is

not my job to come up to here and make

sure i wreck this place it is not my job

to come in here and make sure that i

break a generational curse it is not my

job to come in here and wage war with

the devil it is my job to stay

surrendered so whatever god wants to do

in this place god can do it through me

it is my job to stay pure so whatever

god wants to do whose job is it to

represent a tunnel in your family

there’s a way out of this thing but you

got to be the tunnel and you got to stay

clear to do it

somebody’s gonna break that generational

curse

somebody’s gonna pull that stronghold

down somebody’s gonna break those chains

and it’s not gonna be something you

thought of and it’s not gonna be a

strategy you’re hustled up on and it’s

not gonna be something god gave you it’s

gonna be because you got on your face

and you said god i’m blind god i don’t

know how you’re gonna do it god i don’t

see how you could take a mess like me

and build anything on it but because you

gave me the insight that there is a

blessing in my family i want to be the

one who works with you i want to be the

one who works for you

i want to work for you not against you

and my thoughts been waging war against

you and my fears been waging war against

you and my sight has been waging war

against you so the best thing that you

can give god right now is your eyesight

because your eyes are messing up god’s

plan your eyes are messing up god’s

strategy and god says i can do it but

you’re gonna have to be blind i can do

it but you’re not gonna be able to see

it cause every time you see you get

jealous and every time you see you think

i’m behind and every time you see you

think i forgot about you and every time

i see you think that i can only do that

in one person’s life and not anyone

else’s every time i see you think

somebody else is in your lane but god

says if you really want breakthrough if

you really want me to be the one that

shows you how it can be done you will

have to go blind

you’re not

you’re not going to see this one

oh i feel like doing something here

jesus

i hear god saying you’re not gonna see

it coming

hear god saying that’s why you’re gonna

have to go blind

because right now you’re trying to look

and see how i’m gonna do it

god how you gonna fix this family god

how you gonna fix this marriage and i

hear god saying close your eyes and open

your mouth close your eyes and open your

mouth close your eyes and open your

mouth because when you close your eyes

you start decreeing my word over a thing

when you close your eyes you stop

complaining about what i did in somebody

else’s life and all you have to hold on

to is the promise and if you would

release the promise into the atmosphere

if you would release the promise into

the environment that’s when hell would

start to get nervous because you’re

using your words as a weapon against

everything that is being formed in your

life so i’m going to prophesy even

though i don’t see it yes my child is

saved yes we got a building yes this

marriage is going to last yes i’m going

to build this ministry yes i’m gonna

write this book i gotta close my eyes to

say it but it’s gonna be sad because if

i got to close my eyes see

hold on i’m trying to collect myself

cause don’t nobody fight with their eyes

closed

unless you realize that i don’t have to

do the swinging i don’t have to do this

strategy i don’t have to worry about the

weapon you got against me i’m a bad

mamma jammer i fight with my eyes closed

because this battle’s not mine

this battle is the lord so all i got to

do is allow god permission with my mouth

to do what he’s already strategized in

the earth god i give you full permission

god i give you full permission

to release your excellency over my

trauma to release your excellence over

my childhood wounds to release your

excellence over my marriage and i gotta

close my eyes

gotta close my eyes cause

what i see scares me

what i see is trying to break me

i can be blessed and blind

i gotta be blessed

and

blind or what i see will sabotage the

blessing

sometimes what i don’t see

will sabotage the blessing

if i’m going to declare my healing

i can wink at the doctor’s appointment

i can wink at that doctor’s report

but i can’t ruminate on it

i can’t meditate on it

gotta prove what i meditate on

man cause blind

worship

blind worship

reveals who’s really in

charge when my eyes are open i worship

my worry

when my eyes are open i worship my

success

when my eyes are open i worship my

heartbreak

when i close my eyes

not only do i become blind but i also

feel my brokenness

blind

broken

have you ever been somewhere

and somebody was trying to keep from

crying and they

started waving their eyes

cause if i close my eyes

if i really go blind

i’m gonna feel this

i don’t want to feel this

david

realizes he’s blessed

but blind

and he dares to close his eyes

and in that moment

he realizes he’s broken

and that’s where we find him in the text

living

in the aftermath

of realizing that i’m blessed blind and

broken most of us

feel like i’m just blessed

or i’m just blind

or i’m just broken

but this text proves to us that you can

be blessed blind

and broken

at the same time

david’s still king but blind

still king but broken still leading

but blind and broken

still standing tall being there for

everyone else in the family i’m the

pillar of strength in the family but if

anybody knew that underneath this

strength underneath this blessing of

strength i’m blind and broken too

but because life makes me feel like i

have to choose i’ve never given myself

permission to be all three at the same

time yes i’m i’m blessed on the job but

i’m blind in the marriage and i’m broken

with the children yes i’m blessed in the

marriage but i’m blind on the job you

see blessed blind and broken you want to

know the story of us the story of us is

that we are blessed blind and broken all

at the same time and while everyone

thinks that blessed is to arrive those

who are blessed recognize that i am

blessed but it’s still some blindness

over here i am blessed but there’s still

some brokenness over here and maybe that

is the divine strategy of god so that

you never feel like you were completely

one thing but you allow yourself to be

all things at the same time

david

is dealing with this after aftermath of

being broken

he knew

[Music]

in this moment in the text that because

of his brokenness

there’s now a generational consequence

because the prophet nathan says to him

because you were blessed and blind and

didn’t know it because the problem isn’t

that he was blind it’s that he was blind

and didn’t know it the greatest gift you

can give yourself is to say i don’t know

nothing

and i’m blind and i don’t know how i’m

going to do it so i’m going to depend on

the lord but david was out there living

and the prophet nathan says to him

your son that you can see from this

affair is going to die

because when we are blessed

and we are blind but don’t know it

we produce generational curses

generational consequences

and so now because david realizes i am

the one responsible for this

generational consequence

i’m also the one who was going to have

to run up on this generational

consequence

yes see when we have generational curse

conversation what we’re really talking

about is a consequence

of what happens when it has been passed

down from family to family to family

that we just talk to each other any kind

of way even though it hurts one another

that’s just how we are that’s the

consequence of someone not receiving the

love and so someone right now was in

pain over a generational consequence

that didn’t even start with them and

david is trying to break a generational

consequence off of the next generation

because he recognizes that it started

with him and it’s got to end with him

but i want someone to know this isn’t

even a part of my notes that it doesn’t

have to start with you to end with you

that david recognized that just because

the consequence has been set in motion

it doesn’t mean that i don’t have a

chance at breaking it when god says that

he’s going to strike david’s son david

should have said you know what if that’s

what you’re going to do that’s what

you’re going to do i’ma back up off of

it but when they say that david was a

man after god’s own heart we see it

exemplified in this moment because he

realizes just because god has said this

it doesn’t mean that i shouldn’t be

praying decr declaring and decreeing

that it can be broken even though it’s

set in motion god i wish i could say

this the way that i feel it in my spirit

because i feel like someone needs to

understand that as long as that child is

alive as long as that generational

constant consequence is still up in

limbo there is still an opportunity for

it to be broken if the generational

curse is still alive it means that it

can still be broken but it is not just

going to be broken because someone said

i’m going to wait on someone else to do

it david says i started this mess i’ve

been brought into awareness that this is

a mess and i’m not going to let the mess

continue just because there is a word

out against it he says instead i’m going

to seek the lord about this thing oh i

feel my help coming because i want

someone to understand that it is not

over yet and if you would dare to get

bold like david got bold and says i know

you said you was going to strike it but

it ain’t struck down yet and because it

ain’t struck down yet i’m going to keep

praying and i’m going to keep on

believing i know god you say that this

was going to be the end but the end is

not here yet and because it’s still

alive i’m going to throw everything i’ve

got at it because i’m the only one who

sees it as a problem the elders couldn’t

do it the priest couldn’t do it stop

asking somebody else to break your

generational curse if that generational

curse has your name on it it ain’t a

message in the world that can break it

there’s got to be a hunger down on the

inside of you that says god i want to

break this generational curse off of my

family and david starts praying and

david starts warning because one thing

or another something’s gotta break god

you either gotta break this generational

curse or you gotta break this thing in

me that started the generational curse

to begin with

oh no

something’s gotta break

god if you’re not gonna pull this threat

off of my child then help me to not

produce another threat through my

actions god something’s gotta break when

you go into your prayer closet saying to

yourself something’s gotta break it’s

not just that you want your targeted

item to break but you gotta say god you

either gotta break my desire or help me

to understand how to overcome this

heartbreak something’s gotta break i

can’t keep living like this i can’t keep

thinking like this i don’t wanna see

another generation suffer from the

things that i’ve gone through

something’s got to pray blessed blind

and broken god i don’t know what you

want to break in my life i don’t know if

it’s going to be the generational curse

or it’s going to be the mindset that

started it in the first place but i have

decided that something has got to break

david is in his prayer closet because

it’s breaking time it’s breaking time

it’s breaking time i feel like it’s

breaking time in greenville south

carolina i feel like it’s breaking time

at relentless church i feel like

something’s gotta break in this room i

feel like there’s a devil somewhere

that’s gotta be broken off of your

family i feel like there’s a threat

somewhere that’s gotta be broken off of

your mind you call it fear you call it

insecurity i hear god saying it’s a

generational curse and something’s got

to break you call it just the way we are

i hear god saying the way you’ve been is

trash and i called you to be treasure

and something’s got to break you call it

the way it’s always going to be i hear

god saying behold i do a new thing shall

you not know it something’s got to break

in this room

holy ghost

holy ghost there’s only one thing that

breaks there’s only one thing that’ll

break a chain there’s only one thing

that’ll pull a stronghold down and

that’s when i come into agreement with

what god says about it and when i come

into agreement with what god says about

it it has no choice

it’s got no choice but to break

break it god break it break it god i

feel like angels are swarming around

this church i see it in the spirit realm

and heaven wants to know whose house is

this grace for whose house is this

anointing for something’s got to break

i’m tired of the way we’ve been living

i’m tired of the way we’ve been

worshiping i’m tired of the way we

become religious but don’t have

relationship something’s gotta break

i’m tired of the way these kids are

acting i’m tired of not having the words

i’m tired of not having the humility

something’s gotta break that trauma

happened 20 years ago i’m ready to move

past it something’s got to break

i’m tired of it you tired of the devil

i’m tired of me you tired of the devil

i’m tired of the way i’ve been acting

you tired of the devil i’m tired of

passing this down from generation to

generation the devil ain’t even got to

do nothing no more i’m working for him

i’m doing his handiwork for him talking

crazy about my family crazy about my

possibilities crazy about the gift of

god that’s down on the inside of me

devil clocked out long time ago boo this

all you

and i feel like god says it can break

though if it would come out of your

mouth it could break if it would come

out of your belly it could break if you

would get hungry again it would break if

you started thirsting after

righteousness again it would break

blessed blind and broken what’s going to

break in this room

and broke it

david said i gotta break it for the next

generation

david said i gotta break it cause i

don’t want my child to have to fight the

very thing that i’ve been wrestling with

my whole life is there a david in this

room who feels like i may have started

some stuff but i’m going to end it too

oh yeah

it’s got a break

it’s got to break it’s got a break

it’s got to break it’s got to break

spirit of the living god for when you

ask the power of god to fall you’re

asking for something to be broken

because there is no way the power of god

can fall on you and not break something

that’s not supposed to be there in the

first place

the power of god is not for dancing

it’s not so we can go home and say we

had church

the power of god is meant to break

everything that ain’t god

so that everything that is god can stand

up

god if you don’t break this generational

curse

i may not be able to stand up but if

your power would fall over my family if

your power would fall over my mind if

your power would fall over my business

then maybe just maybe

the power of god would be the only thing

that’s there

in this moment

david

is what ends up broken

but not broken in that way

that makes you feel worse

it’s not broken

in that way that makes you feel

inadequate and less than

i’mma tell you what they don’t tell you

on instagram

there is a good brokenness

it’s the kind of brokenness that solomon

had where he said i’m just a boy

i’m blessed

but i can’t see

and because i realize i can’t see

i’m broken before you

because when i break before you

i don’t have to do this on my own

when i break before you you fill the

gaps when i break before you

the brokenness

that tried to kill me becomes the

brokenness that builds me

jesus

i don’t know why but i feel like god is

i must say calling just me

to a broken spirit

not puffed up

not full of pride

not knowing everything or saying all of

the right things

but a broken spirit

that allows me to say i don’t have

to be ashamed of the fact that i don’t

know it all

and i don’t have to be afraid that i

can’t have it all because i don’t know

it all

i can live in the truth of where i am

and allow god’s presence access to me

through my brokenness

which means there are seasons when the

time for pretending

literally will keep you from growth

man i feel this prophetically for

somebody

god has given you access

to rooms and opportunities and

relationships that you should not have

access to

and if you aren’t careful you will try

to act the part

and you will become a character

instead of a vessel

you don’t have to act the part

because acting is not what gave you

access to the blessing

go in there blind

go in there broken

but go anyway

that’s why the most powerful part of

this text is that when david didn’t get

what he would ask for he still got up

he washed himself off

he anointed himself he went into the

house of the lord and worshiped and then

he sat down and ate like the king he was

because he recognized that at the end of

the day i had to be blessed blind and

broken in order for me to understand the

magnitude of what god has called me to

and now that i understand the magnitude

of it i won’t shy away from it i’m not

going to talk myself out of it instead

i’m going to stay in position with the

awareness of what all is sitting in this

seat when i sit down and because i know

what all is sitting in this seat when i

sit down

i don’t go into a room without god

i don’t trust this position without god

anymore

i don’t trust this position without

knowledge of of what god can see that i

can’t see because i know

that honestly

i’m just a girl that’s blessed

blind

and broken

and that doesn’t scare me the way that

it used to scare me

and that doesn’t keep me from position

the way that i thought it would keep me

from position it won’t keep me from

being a good partner it won’t keep me

from being a good minister as a matter

of fact the knowledge of it

is what equips me to be in the position

because it’s how god is going to

continue to speak through me

there’s this verse that

david i’m finished let me just read the

script and then i’m done

there’s this verse that is in psalms 51

and this is where we get the text

creating me a clean heart david felt

some kind of way

in this blessed blind and broken season

but psalms 51 and 17 says the sacrifices

of god are a broken spirit

a broken and contrite heart these are

god

you will not despise

right before this it says it’s not about

gold it’s not about jewels

you can give those things but those

things don’t really move god

what really moves god

is the sacrifice of your broken spirit

in this room

relentless as you may be

it would be difficult for some of us to

admit that i have a broken spirit

god says you can give all you want to

but until you give me that broken spirit

you haven’t given me what really moves

me

until you give me

that inadequacy until you give me

that fear until you give me that broken

spirit

we play in church

we coming in

we worshiping

it’s just for show

because what i really want

is that grief you’ve been holding on to

what i really want is that anger

what i really want is that pride and

that ego where can’t nobody tell you

nothing and somebody trying to tell you

blind but can’t nobody tell you nothing

so you keep running in the walls what i

really want

is that trauma what i really want is

that abandonment what i really want is

not the addiction but the pain that

started the addiction in the first place

everybody else wants you to be cured of

the addiction i want the broken spirit

that made you want something to numb you

in the first place

and so

before i go

i just want to ask

if we could turn the last five minutes

of my time into an opportunity

to build an altar

for those with

a broken spirit

broken

jesus

broken in a way you haven’t admitted in

a long time

but i want to dare you to break it open

in the presence of the lord

to really give god what he really wants

i don’t want you to just be a good

church-goer

i don’t want you to just be a good

worship leader

[Music]

i want that broken

spirit if you can’t find

the broken spirit inside of you

[Music]

you’ve been numb for too long

so i’ll take your numb

if you can’t feel the breaking anymore

geez you in this room

and you’ve been disappointed so many

times

the disappointment has become your norm

it doesn’t even hurt anymore

when somebody lets you down

you’ve come to expect it

betrayal

i’m used to that

being in it by myself

even though i’m surrounded by people

i’m used to that

life of the party

to keep from seeing that i’m dead inside

that’s me

i want

your broken spirit

not who you pretend to be

not who you became to protect yourself

i want the little boy in grown man

clothes

to dare to have a moment

and create your own altar

abraham

created his own altar

he didn’t have anybody go ahead of him

he didn’t get there and the altar was

already there

noah

gets off the ark he builds his own altar

maybe we’ve been asking someone else to

build an altar for us to sacrifice on

[Music]

and that’s why it hasn’t broken off of

us yet

because we’re waiting on someone else to

build the altar

but the truth is you build the altar

[Music]

you build it first with the

acknowledgement

that something’s got to break

something’s got to change something’s

got to burn

because it’s burning me alive

[Music]

and when you acknowledge that something

has got to break

we build the altar to set it on

[Music]

so if you don’t mind i just want to give

us

30 seconds

to reach down and grab that broken

spirit

with the knowledge

that god wants it

you don’t want the broken spirit but god

wants it

you don’t want the pain but god wants it

you don’t want to face those memories

again but god wants

the broken spirit i want your anger i

want your

fear i want your rejection i want your

abandonment i want

i want your broken spirit i kind of want

to do an altar call but i think there’s

something about you staying

right where you are you can’t move your

way out of this you got to stay right

where you are and build this altar you

got to stay right where you are and

that’s going to be a favor for someone

who would never have the courage to come

down and admit that you have the broken

spirit

god says i’ll meet you right where you

are you don’t have to come down to the

altar i want that broken spirit right

where it is full of pride full of fear

worried about what other people will

think of you god says i’ll take it right

there on the back road god says i’ll

take it right there leaning up against

the wall god says you could build the

altar call right where you are you don’t

have to come down to the stage this time

you are the stage you are what i want to

build on you are what i want to put on

display i want your broken spirit

[Music]

god it broke me

god had changed me

god it hurt me

[Music]

god i disappointed myself

god how could they how could they help

could they

why did they what did they what did

god i can’t take

one more thing

[Music]

i don’t know if i can live like this

anymore you want my broken spirit here

it is i don’t know if i can live like

this anymore

[Music]

this is my sacrifice

that i’m really not

okay this is my sacrifice that

i don’t want to live with this

brokenness anymore i don’t want it i

don’t want it i don’t want it i don’t

want it i don’t want it for my children

i don’t want it i don’t want it in my

soul i don’t want it in my dreams i

don’t want it in my prayer life i don’t

want it i don’t want it i don’t want it

i don’t want it i’m bringing it to the

surface not so that i can relive it i’m

bringing it to the surface so that you

can extract it i don’t want it i don’t

want it i don’t want it i want to change

i want to be transformed from the inside

out i don’t want it i don’t want it i

don’t want it i don’t want it

god what do you give in exchange for a

broken spirit

when the word says that you make all

things new god

could it be that my spirit is a part of

that too

could it be that i could become what

i’ve never seen could it be

that even though it broke me it doesn’t

have to change me

[Music]

holy spirit

this is a job that only you can complete

and holy spirit this is a job

that you desire to complete

because it was not your plan for us to

be shattered

it was not your plan for us to be

walking dead it was not your plan for us

to just let somebody else tackle this

giant to let someone else break this

generational curse it was not your plan

for us to be so tired that we quit

fighting this was not your plan

[Music]

and yet this is where we are

but holy spirit if you would breathe in

this room

if you would move as only you could do

you would take that broken spirit

and pull it in close into the presence

of the lord

[Music]

and we would realize that when we cried

you cried too

[Music]

but that your plan included restoration

for those broken pieces

and when i hide the brokenness i hide my

redemption

when i hide the brokenness i hide the

restoration when i hide the brokenness i

hide the power to break the generational

curse no wonder i feel like i don’t have

power to break it the breaking is in the

broken

the breaking is in the broken

the breaking of the generational curses

and the broken spirit you’re trying to

hide the breaking is in the broken i

want to prophesy in this place over

every broken spirit that the reason why

that broken spirit has plagued you for

so long is because the breakthrough is

so powerful that if you could ever comes

to terms come to terms with the fact

that brokenness is not the end you would

be like david and assume your position

again

i hear god saying i still got a crown

with your name on it

i hear god saying that brokenness is not

the end i hear god saying that

brokenness is only the way it is not the

end but it is the way and it is only

through your brokenness that you will

experience change it is only through

your brokenness that that generational

curse will be broken it is only through

that brokenness that the anointing will

spring forth it is only through that

brokenness that the child will be saved

it is only through i wish i had some

worshipers in this place because if i

had some worshipers in this room i could

break something off of my bro if i had

some worshipers in this room i could

break something off of my city if i had

some worshipers in this room i could

break something off of this church i

could break something off with my

community i could break something off of

my family if i had some worshipers i

would come to a place where i realized

it when i worshiped from the broken

place when i worship from the broken

place it makes hell loose its whole when

i worship from the broken place the

devil can’t use anything against me

anymore when i worship from the broken

place god says now i can build you up as

someone who cannot be shaken your season

of not being shaken is coming up your

season of being steadfast and unmovable

is coming up and it’s not going to come

because you avoided the brokenness it’s

going because you sat in that brokenness

and you told that brokenness you gonna

build me up you tore me down so the

least you could do was build me up you

tried to break me down so the least you

could do and turn me into who god has

called me to be you may have torn me

down but because i received a word from

god everywhere i’ve been broken is an

area where i will be built i’m

prophesying over somebody’s life

everywhere everywhere

everywhere there was brokenness there is

a monument

i’m finished

but god’s going to take the broken

pieces

and restructure them to make them

something that cannot be broken again

[Music]

you’ve been afraid to be built again

because you’re worried you’ll be broken

again

not realizing the fact that you can be

built again

is a sign that even if brokenness comes

that brokenness is not the end

but there are some david never is broken

in this way again

because of what he learned from building

and brokenness

i want you to start building again

god this is your word

these are your people

and i am but a child

and yet i stand in awe of your glory i

stand in all of your greatness

god i thank you for every broken spirit

i thank you

i thank you for every broken spirit

i give gratitude to you god for every

broken spirit

i have gratitude because i recognize

that brokenness is not the end

i have gratitude because i recognize

that brokenness is just the beginning

beginning and where they see brokenness

i see you already working i see you

already building god i see businesses

where there was brokenness i see bounty

where there was brokenness i see beauty

where there was brokenness i see

blessings where there was brokenness i

see restoration where there was

brokenness god i thank you for the areas

where i was broken because had it not

been for the areas where i was broken

there would be no anointing god i thank

you for a savior who understood the

power of being broken god i thank you

for the power of

brokenness and that through that power

you build

you heal

and you restore

god i thank you

for the hedge of protection around these

your great

people that the brokenness was only

allowed because the brokenness could be

used

god may we make it our mission

to use every shattered piece

every broken piece

every blind part of our lives for your

glory

may we dare to be dangerous and bold and

stay in position even when it hurts

because we recognize to be blessed blind

and broken

is the cost of being chosen

and we will pay the price

even when we gotta borrow it from

someone else’s faith

because it would be better to stay in

position

than to push away the very blessing that

was meant to build us up

god i thank you for the families that

are going to be healed

the marriages that will be saved the

businesses that will spring up

and the spirits that will be unshakable

because we dare to go back and say

brokenness is not the end in jesus name

i pray amen i love you relentless

you