Touré Roberts is joined with Bishop T.D. Jakes for an intimate and enlightening conversation about breakthrough, becoming self-full, and the journey to Balance.
hey
hey there i am there he is let me tilt
down a little bit so you can see
something other than my ball here
it’s shining it looks good
good good good good how are you doing
i’m doing good sir huh out here hustling
you know hustling and telling the
telling telling the story
yeah you’ve got quite a story to tell
um
and thank you i’ve got my
thank you welcome
i got my copy right here
awesome of all the things that you have
done and and all the things that you
have experienced and a lot of people
don’t know that you’ve been through a
lot maybe you ought to just start by
sharing a little bit about your
background your life story before you
were who you are now
absolutely well i think that i was born
in the context of revolution uh my
mother and my father met uh in the black
panther party in oakland uh they they
weren’t married but but they found a way
to connect to each other and loved each
other on on their level
and it produced me so i was literally
born
in in conflict i was born in a struggle
so to speak uh and then my mother moved
from she took me it was just me and her
and we moved to
south central los angeles watts in
particular and then we begin a new uh
era of struggle now being in an
environment where
you name it was happening all around us
uh but there was always
a shield around me
you know and i think that that was
was prayer you know great grandmama’s
prayer and my mom’s prayer but i still
got a taste of it
so much so that when i was 16 i got shot
uh in a drive-by shooting uh but there
was always uh and let me know if i’m
moving too fast
um and uh but there was always that that
happened and god miraculously healed me
but i always felt special i i always
felt uh
different um i couldn’t pinpoint it but
there was a part of me that knew that
that i that there was a way forward
there was a way out um i was always
after better and i probably got it from
my mom
because i watched her scratch up from
from a receptionist to an executive i
saw it with my own eyes
and by herself single-handedly you know
put me in private school so she exposed
me to a lot of things
fast forward to uh to getting into
corporate america i excelled in
corporate america i used to build data
centers for fortune 500 companies uh
started my own company that had a
complimentary service uh to that company
that i was working for built that up uh
and you know in my 20s
decided that
even though i was prospering outside
uh inside i was not
and uh and i went and began to seek the
god of my youth who i was exposed to
through my grandmother
and the long and the short of that story
was i sought him and i found him and
sensed a calling
and uh and and
you know went to a church
sat under uh you know a great man of god
for a couple of years but felt like
again that that nudging on the inside of
me that that there was more to my
offering
launched me out to start a church that
we ultimately planted in north hollywood
that grew and grew and grew and and uh
met and fell in love with an an
extraordinary young woman who just so
happened to be your daughter and uh and
the rest was history
well there’s a lot there’s a lot to that
story because pastoring in
that beverly hills hollywood environment
is a very eclectic experience and you
have the unusual
opportunity and or privilege to to
pastor a wide range of people
uh actors uh
directors producers
executives uh
orientals
african-americans caucasians a lot of
different ages and ranges of people but
the common denominator i would imagine
is so many people come to l.a
to be discovered they’re they’re hard
workers they’re aggressive they’re
tenacious they’re
relentlessly hoping for that
breakthrough which is
very few people break through
so they have to eat while they’re
breaking through and try to break
through at the same time and then have a
life on top of all of that
how do you balance life when when so
many different things are pulling at you
simultaneously
yeah i think it comes down to
prioritization
i i think a lot of people think that
balance is about
um
you know dividing yourself up and giving
pieces of yourself to important things
but but my approach to balance is
different i think that balance begins
with prioritizing you
you know i think about that passage in
jeremiah 29 11 that we all love it says
god says for i know the plans i have for
you plans to prosper you and not to harm
you to give you a future and hope
and what people don’t realize is how
many times the word you is in that verse
you know before i know the plans i have
for you plans to prosper you and not to
harm you to give you a huge the future i
think that’s five times he says you so
god puts the emphasis not on what’s
outside of you but he puts the emphasis
on prospering you and so i i think that
what i’ve come to discover is that if
you focus on your insides if you you
focus on
getting you together first uh i believe
all other things almost like the verse
about the kingdom all other things will
be added so i don’t think that balance
is about how i juggle everything i think
that balance is how i
become whole within myself uh and then i
can give myself in a healthy way in an
impactful way to all the things that i’m
trying to accomplish
you know that’s so counterintuitive to
the way we think about things you know
we think about
you know i got to take care of the kids
i got to take care of the wife i got to
take care of the church i got to take
care of the business i got i got to take
care to come here i got to take care i
got i got i got i gotta and and yet it
is so true that if if i goes out then
all of those things go lacking
uh
what what do you recommend
uh
for people who
have those priorities
but really have not focused or been
trained to and uh i’m not asking for me
i’m asking for friends
a friend of mine wants to know
uh have not been trained to prioritize
themselves and there’s a certain amount
of guilt that comes with that there’s a
certain amount of feeling selfish that
comes with that how do you how do you
manage that that dark side of
prioritizing you
you know you know i’m motivated by uh by
by the truth about an idea and i think
that
the the truth about that is that if i
love
my my wife if i love my children if i
love my staff if i love my investors if
i love
um
you know the company the church whatever
i’m running if i love them truly i’m
going to give my best self to them and i
think that there there is a guilt that
there’s this guilt that if i
prioritize me i think it’s two things
one the guilt if i prioritize me
then somehow i’m going to be taking away
from my child my wife my investors you
know my my staff and the reality of it
is what is actually uh depriving them is
the fact that i don’t take care of me
because when i take care of me i’m a
better husband i am a more innovative
and creative and patient leader
uh i i am a more strategic uh thinker
you know for those who have invested in
me in one way or another uh and so so
it’s a paradigm shift yes uh the the the
it’s count intuitive like you said yes
there’s a part of me that feels like if
i
do me i’m hurting them but actually when
i don’t do me
i’m hurting them so you have to change
you know the way you look at it i i you
know it’s it’s hard like about every six
weeks i need
about two or three days just to myself
and in order for me to do that i got to
tell the kids you know we got six and
you got six grandkids you know i gotta
tell them
i gotta tell my wife who i love spending
time with goodbye but i say but
and i used to
kind of fuss a little bit when i left
but i said trust me the version of me
that you’re going to get when i walk
back through those doors are going to be
worth the sacrifice of two days that you
gave me and i deliver on that promise
every time i come back and i’m more
peaceful i’m more loving i’m more
balanced i have more to give to my staff
you know and so i think it’s a paradigm
shift we have to
hold up just a minute
just logged on uh i am talking to uh
pastor toray roberts
uh who is uh my son
my gifted son who has
done an amazing book on balance
positioning yourself to do all things
well it’s an amazing book it’s a
convicting book for those of us who are
workaholics uh but it is a book of
clarity and we get a chance not only to
pick up the book but to talk to the
author about what was in his head what
happened in his own life
how he learned these truths and how
learning these truths will help
in some ways to expedite you getting to
the place in life that god wants you to
be for it’s not by might nor about power
but by my spirit saith the lord you
don’t necessarily need more elbow grease
sometimes
wow
wow
you know i think that uh sometimes
we who are believers have a tendency to
think that we we’re going to do it
through our own might
and i realize to him how much he’s given
much is required but the battle is not
ours it belongs to god
and somehow when you talk about violence
i hear faith
yes
yes i
i hear
i believe god
to handle me
and handle my responsibilities
better than i can
i’m gonna participate in yes i’m gonna
work on it and yes i’m gonna be
connected
but but the battle really isn’t mine so
i don’t have to suit up in the armor and
go out to war every day
but to rest in him and trust in him to
me balance takes faith if you’ve ever
been on a bicycle and you’re trying to
get your balance you know
and and the person who’s trying to teach
you to ride the bike is telling you
you’re going to be okay you’re gonna be
okay but fear
makes you lean to the right or the left
and and
and faith requires that you remain
centered what what centers you
yeah i think for for me
it begins with a belief to your point
that
that what god has for me
is for me
um
there’s a chapter in the book called the
gift of rest
and in that chapter i talk about how all
of the significant things that have ever
happened to me in life
did not happen when i was struggling uh
striving and stressing
all of those next dimensional things
that happened to me happened when i
found myself in this place of rest and
this place the rest that i’m talking
about is not i’m not talking about
taking a nap
i’m talking about what you alluded to
earlier
a confident assurance
that what god has for me is out there so
i’m not laboring to to to get
i am laboring to claim
what is there because before he put me
in my mother’s womb he put it there and
so so for me
what what centers me is co
and listen i’m like everybody else i get
anxious sometimes
i get worried sometimes i’m checking
everything and doing all that
but i i come back to the place even
after i do all that
you know
i come back to the place
uh to what you just said
god’s got this yes i’m gonna work hard
you know even you know full transparency
with with the with this book and and uh
and really wanting it to get in as many
people’s hands as possible because i
believe in the power the transformative
power the message of the book you know
and i’d be going checking the numbers
and doing all this and god said wait a
minute you know just you just work hard
you be a good steward you know and and
i’ll take care of the rest and so what
centers me is coming back to the
realization that yes i’m called to work
hard yes i’m called to be a good steward
but god is the one who’s going to give
the increase and the increase is already
there it’s not something that i have to
produce i just have to sow my seed i
think when i think of violence
and especially the way you’re talking
about it i think of all the marriages
that would have been saved
uh if there were more balance
i think more times that over the 45
years of my ministry
most couples burn out
and and and the quickest way not to burn
out is not to feel bad about having me
time
then you’re glad to see the person
but when you’re always there and you’re
always on top of each other and you’re
always dealing with what i call
the busyness of marriage the business of
marriage
the bills the budgets the the kids and
who drops off and who makes ham
sandwiches
you can burn out because you can lose
you in us and and the first word in us
is the first letter is you
and and and if there’s going to be us
there has to be a you
and i think that is so important for
both the husband and the wife to create
spaces where you can get relaxation
however you need to get relaxation
let’s have a little fun with this how
how do you how do you chill how do you
let let’s let’s talk to the people as if
the
uh
relaxation balance for dummies
how do you
i know you wouldn’t title with that but
i’m just going to call this second
balance for dummies because for a friend
for friends yeah right
but just for friends
talk about ways that you
uh
have become so proficient
at taking care of you
yeah well i have
built up a resident faith
for stopping
it it takes more faith to stop
than it does to go and to launch into
new endeavors uh and so i so i have i’ve
built up
faith
in that if i do stop
my whole world is not going to come
crumbling down so so my my first step
is to actually believe that i can stop
when i stop
i get delivered from the noise because
life is so noisy and
and
what do you do when noisy becomes normal
you know and and that’s how it is you
know i you know we’re inundated with
images and ideas and thoughts and the
news and everything
and and people are crying out for
balance which is to basically say i am
imbalanced and and most of it is because
there’s noise and not all noise is bad
some noise is good noise like like some
family you know in marriage that that’s
noisy too
so so i stop
and when i stop and that noise begins to
dissipate
i get to connect with toray
you know what does tarray want to do i
you know i like to go to the movies
sometimes sometimes it can be as simple
as going to the movies
uh you know i love motorcycle ride and
get getting out of my motorcycle but but
i won’t know what i need until i
actually stop
and then and then my my soul my spirit
will begin to say
hey do this you know dr drive over by
the beach uh meet a friend um but but
these are just some of the ways that
that i i stop and begin to center myself
you know
when you touch on me to friend it’s
funny i think our friendships have
suffered
especially amongst high achievers
uh
everybody’s so busy running that we
don’t get to take see each other or
embrace each other or just to fellowship
without an agenda a meeting or anything
like that the notion of friendship
especially as you get older becomes more
and more difficult uh and then you look
around and they’re gone
and you haven’t spent that quality time
with them that you need
valuing yourself and valuing others is
is really
uh to me the some of the takeaways that
i’m getting out of it one of the things
that blows my mind
uh you say the power of no and there’s a
quote in here
balance is not better time management
but better boundary management
when you say the power of no and and
mostly generally i’ll be honest i’ll
confess
i’ll confess you’ll be my priest
mostly generally by the time i say no
i’m annoyed
okay
but but you’re talking about saying no
uh is a powerful word
not an angry word
yeah yeah
yeah
it’s because it protects your yes
it because really you know your yes is
expensive you know when you say yes to
something
[Laughter]
it’s expensive
yes it’s expensive y’all type that on
the line yo yes it’s expensive i want
you to get that your yet once it’s so
easy to say
but it’s so hard to fulfill your yes is
expensive and you’re saying saying no
protects your yes talk to us about that
absolutely because when you say yes
you’re committing your energy
your time
your your effort and most importantly
your availability
now now it’s easy to do
because there’s instant gratification
when you say yes
you you have appeased the person on the
other side uh there’s no conflict they
they like you
you know because you did that and so you
you have this instant gratification that
comes back and it bites you later on
because if you give away all of your
yeses you just handed them out like like
you know i told one guy one time i said
when you say yes just see yourself
writing a check or giving away a hundred
dollars every time you say that because
it’s expensive and so what happens is
when the real blessing comes along the
thing you’ve been praying for the thing
you’ve been studying for working hard
for
you have nothing to give you’re broke
your bank you have no yeses to give
because you were too liberal with your
yes and and so and so no is about
protecting the yes for things that
matter the most and i’ll tell you this
no sometimes will qualify your
relationships
because some people are only in
relationship with you because you’ve
never told them no
it’s all based on
i’m about to shout right there listen
this this is this is really good stuff
you don’t know whether the friend is
really a friend or not until you say no
yes you know no i can’t go i know i
won’t be there no i can’t loan you the
money no i can’t pay you rent and if
they walk away then you know that that
was all they were really there for
so that that’s a very powerful thing but
the other thing that you said that
really really got me
is that we tend to want the immediate
gratification that comes from saying yes
to please people
to be a people pleaser i don’t know if
anybody watching us is feeling convicted
but this is a this is a convicting and
yet delivering message
that maybe maybe your counseling bill
would go down if you just say no
you know maybe maybe you wouldn’t be
exhausted maybe you wouldn’t be so
hypertensive if you just
get the gift of saying no
uh you you talk about these boundaries
you talk about these priorities
you talk about
what i’ll add this word the courage to
say no
uh i’m blown away by how expensive yes
is that that is so
so true sometimes my heart
will say yes
when my head
is clearly saying no
and then i beat myself about all the way
my head is closer that my heart’s in see
what you got us into now see what you
got us into now
leading from an emotional place
is not always the best place because we
have a need
to please people rather than the
intellectual understanding that i am a
limited resource it’s not that i don’t
care about it there’s just not enough of
me there’s too many of y’all there’s too
much you know when i go someplace and
they’re taking pictures they say just
one more picture no that could be just
one more it’s gonna be till i leave it’s
not you’re not the last one you’re not
the last person to call and ask for some
you’re not the last person who needs
wisdom you’re not the last person who
needs it right so i learned i’m getting
really good at saying no
uh but my knowledge escape i just leave
i just have a run i do like joseph i run
from potiphar’s wife
my name might not work i’ve run from
things
that are overwhelming and i’m learning
that it’s okay
to be
tired that it’s okay to to be
uh to say no that that i don’t have to
please
every breathing creature in the world
in order to be a good person
if if you if you understand the words
that are coming out of my mouth and you
relate to it if you said yes to too many
jobs volunteered to too many things
maybe say yes to too many friends yes to
companionship and you need to learn this
balance
you you ought to get this for you not to
get a sermon on it not to get a message
out and not not to inspect it but as a
way of having therapy in a bag
therapy in a bag where you can learn to
say no and i’ll admit it i’ll just go
ahead and admit it i need this
you can’t have this one i need
because
because i pride myself on being a work
work working person a uh almost a
workaholic person i pride myself on how
much abuse i can take for other people
i pride myself sometimes on the wrong
thing and and this this
really speaks to the heart of the matter
uh
it’s not about not doing because your
bylines is positioning yourself to do
all things well it’s about doing less
things better
it’s about doing less
things
better are you spread too thin
you don’t have time to read do you are
you spread too thin
if it doesn’t come on tv and it doesn’t
come on instagram you don’t get it you
don’t even have time to read
there you get so busy you don’t even
have time to go to the bathroom in peace
you can’t find a space where you can
have
10 minutes to read a chapter a day to
say
i need balance in my life
i’ve got
one of one of my most interesting
moments for i uh i went to a pastoral
workshop and the guy said
write a list of all the people who need
you
and he gave us time and we wrote down
all the people all the
responsibilities uh all the requirements
who need us and then he said write a
list of the people who feed us
and that list was so much shorter than
the people who need us
and he he challenged us to have three
categories the people who need us
the people who feed us
and the people who are just fun
to be with us
just they don’t need us they don’t feed
us they’re just crazy
they make you laugh you know and i
thought about people that i just liked
and how long it been since i had seen
them
if if you can balance that list a little
bit between need
feed and fun
uh
what good is it to live a long life if
you’re not happy
if you’re not fulfilled
uh if you didn’t make your marks
in a definite place rather than
scratches
a deep
deep place i i sense ministry on the
deepest level not preaching not
sermonizing
real therapy
uh and maybe it’s because i need it but
but but really having reinforced in your
life
um
the the
the power of my yes like if i’m your
friend i will go down to the ground with
you i will go to the prison i will sneak
cookies through the barns
i mean i will be there through the flu
through cobia through pneumonia through
everything i will be a stand-up guy with
your yes it’s that intense you can’t
give that to everybody
even though they need it
even though they need it is that what
you’re saying
that’s absolutely what i’m saying and
you know in the book i talk about in
that chapter in particular talk about
loyalty and the deception of loyalty um
because first of all i am i am fiercely
loyal i’m like you you know if i am for
you i am for you and and ain’t nobody
can do about it but when people say i’m
loyal to a fault and they pride
themselves on saying i’m loyal to fault
that’s a problem because i i don’t think
that loyalty should end in a fault
you know and and so and so i have a
there’s there’s a boundary that there’s
only one limitation
to my loyalty to someone just one
limitation just one
and that is
when my lawyer when when your
interpretation of my loyalty to you
causes me to be disloyal to me
now we’ve got a problem oh my god
oh my god
you gotta say that again say that again
when you’re
when my loyalty
to you causes me to be disloyal to me
now we have a problem
these are takeaways these these are
nuggets
uh i used to say it differently
when helping you is hurting me
yeah what helping you is hurting
me i don’t mind sacrifice
i’ll sacrifice but when it comes down to
downright pain
yeah where you’re just gonna drag me
through the sewer and the other thing
now now i don’t know this we might have
to put this in the back of the book
the other thing is a lot of us do this
for people who would never do that for
you
they would never do that for you and
that’s what causes us to feel so unloved
and unappreciated and undervalued is
that we give a hundred to people who
only give ten
and and so when you start talking about
being bankrupt now you’re ninety dollars
in the hole
throughout the whole relationship you’re
90 in the hole because they’re giving 10
and you’re giving hundreds
that’s not fair exchange that’s robbery
and i’m gonna mess with your mind a
little bit
but this is you
just because somebody gave you 10
doesn’t mean that you have to give a
hundred because there are
there are people that 10 is all they
have
yeah and you’re dealing in hundreds
and this imbalance is relational
it’s personal
it’s spiritual
it’s it’s it’s economics
if you don’t balance your checkbook you
don’t know how much money you have if
you
don’t balance your spending you’re going
to have bad credit there’s not an area
in your life where balance doesn’t
matter if you lose your balance you’re
going to fall
if your tires are out of balance they’re
going to wear wrong there’s not an area
in your life that doesn’t need
balance
including your soul
because
man i’m more excited about this book you
are because i i’m telling you
the more i sit here and think about it
most things break from not being
balanced
you know you’d be surprised how much
weight you can lift if you balance it
but you can’t have an 80-pound barbell
on one side and a 20-pound barbell on
the other i don’t care how strong you
are you aren’t going to be able to bench
press that because it’s the weight is
out of balance and i feel like we’re
talking to somebody i don’t i don’t i
don’t feel like we’re pushing a book i
feel like we’re ministering to somebody
who’s who’s having as oprah would call
it an aha moment wow that
that
you you got 80 on one side and 20 on the
other
it’s not that you can’t lift 100 pounds
but if the weights got to be distributed
watch out for relationships jobs
friendships where the weight is not
equally distributed
balance balance balance balance balance
what do you think as a preacher
give me give me uh uh
a theological
perspective on balance what does god say
from a theological perspective
about balance or a bible story where
where balance is important or what what
what theological position i see very
clearly a psychological reason
i see a sociological reason i see an
economic reason i see an emotional
reason is there a theology to balance
absolutely
one that comes to mind is when
when uh jesus was asked what the
greatest commandment is
and he said you shall love the lord your
god with all your heart mind soul and
strength and he said the second one is
just like it he says you shall love your
neighbor as you love yourself
most people
misinterpret the sequence of what jesus
is teaching
most people think that the sequence is
god
neighbor
self as it relates to prioritization
love care and concern
but it is not
he says love the lord your god with all
your heart mind soul and strength and
love your neighbor
as
you love yourself so how you prioritize
care for love tend to self becomes the
benchmark for which you approach loving
everything that is outside of you your
neighbor so jesus was teaching something
that that’s very very fundamental and
sometimes
christians and pastors you know we’re
all guilty of this
because we are servants we believe in
serving people we think that we’re
supposed to actually put the people that
we serve before ourselves and to do
anything otherwise
is selfish when jesus is saying no no no
no no
you’ve got to have your vertical
relationship with god tight
which will create a wonderful
relationship with self and in fact don’t
even try to love your neighbor good
until you love yourself good because
you’re going to fall short and so i do
think that there’s a theological uh a
basis for prioritizing self in a
guilt-free way and not only get free to
see it as a strategy
for
for for serving well everything that’s
i around you
i have to say this this is off topic a
little bit
but you you are a courageous man i’ve
written 40 books
i have never asked the person who lives
with me to write before
i’ve asked people who know me
but you got your wife
my daughter sarah james roberts to write
the forward
on this on this book
why did you do that
uh
because the person who lives with you
can really check whether you’re balanced
okay
yeah you know i have dedicated it to my
wife but i’ve never asked my wife to
write forward i don’t know i’d have to
edit it maybe uh
what was that like
there’s no one who knows me better than
sarah
and i think that there’s no one who has
seen
the principles of balance uh first hand
work in our in our lives i asked her to
write it because she’s honest
uh she she knows me
uh she loves people and she has just had
a front row seat
to to to what we have been employing you
know pastoring you know two churches and
and you know running our businesses and
and women evolve and with children so i
really felt like she was honest
uh and credible
um and uh i just really felt like she
can as as a wife who’s watching me
live this message not just this is not
the next book you know the next cool
thing to talk about she’s watched
firsthand me me take these principles to
heart and manage and balance so many
things i felt like she was a perfect
person to write it
you know you’ve got a lot of aside from
sarah who is an amazing writer a great
thinker you’re right incredibly honest
and straightforward uh
you’ve got devon franklin on here who
who has shaken hollywood done some
amazing things uh in his life in his
career i’ve worked with him on several
films i’ve seen his his work ethic uh
you’ve got both st john who i dearly
love she’s the chief marketing officer
of netflix a great woman a tremendous
human being but also
a very busy woman with a lot of
responsibilities
cheap marketing for netflix is no easy
job you got common you’ve got you’ve got
comment on here everybody knows common
uh oscar winning grammy award-winning
he’s a rapper he’s an actor these are
not lazy people craig rochelle
i mean who wrote the book on multiple
campuses and and and reaching people for
jesus christ leslie hold him tremendous
grammy award-winning actor and see these
are all
successful
people so you don’t have to give up
success
for balance do you
no no not at all in fact
you can take your success to the next
level you know one of the things that
i’ve noticed about uh some successful
people
is the reason why they are on the level
of their success
is because
they are running from something you know
and i think that that’s that’s that
that’s great
i have also discovered that
if you are running from something
it is impossible
for you to bring the very best of
yourself
to what you’re after
because
essentially fear is driving
and and the only problem with fear and
fear you know there’s a wonderful debate
about whether or not fear serves you or
hinders you and i think that they’re
valid points on both sides of the
argument but one of the things that i do
know is that if you are running from
something
that means that you are ruminating on
something negative if you if if there is
a negative boogie man that you’re
running from
you you you’re meditating on that
negativity and the research shows the
research shows
that if you ruminate on negative things
that it establish it builds up protein
deposits in your brain so you might be
successful now but later on that protein
deposit is one of the key contributors
to early dementia
so so it looks like success but it might
be a temporary success
where
where the alternative is if i am not
running from something
but i’m running to something
you know something that that god has
prepared for me something that is out
there then i get to bring all of myself
to it and i’m not expending
cognitive creativity on trying to
keep something from happening i can
spend that cognitive creativity towards
making things happen that have never
been seen before so even successful
people have the opportunity in my
estimation to be all the more successful
if they can bring balance to their life
well that’s a great thing that’s great i
could talk to you all day about this
because nobody writes about this
you know five ways to
build the kingdom ten ways to start a
company tell twelve ways to start a
startup in uh silicon valley over and on
to all kinds of books about
how to how to
there’s
not anybody writing about how not to
hmm
you know
yeah you know how how how to just
uh
in quietness and confidence
uh possess you your soul
you know
that that
that’s the word of the lord
uh
it’s your strength
it’s not your weakness it’s it’s your
strength uh
i know we we don’t have a lot of time
but i do want to say
i have observed with great interest and
uh and focus
how you live this out in your own life
and how this works for you in an amazing
way i think
i think this is
it’s a book but it’s i think it’s a
devotional
i i think
we need to get back to
the center again and as a person
not just have to cut we want to get back
to the center of the country we want to
get back to the center on our budget we
want to get back to the center with our
finances
you can’t get back to the center in the
country or the church or the city or the
government or even your spending
if you’re not back to the center with
you
it starts with you so uh i encourage you
to get it i don’t get a dime off of you
get it but i encourage you to get it
uh
not for not for sale of a book
but for the survival of a soul
wow
i encourage you to get it because we’re
so out of balance in our relationships
and our workings we’re we’re we’re
putting in a hundred they’re putting in
10 we’re we’re 90 in the whole if you
stay bankrupt long enough it’s it’s
gonna blow up anything that stays
bankrupt is gonna blow up
and
it actually makes our job easier to
preach to people who are balanced
than to preach to people who are about
to blow up
yeah so all my members please get it
thank you
yeah make my job easier uh
this this is a word for somebody uh
there’s a presence of god even in our
conversation
would you uh
pray for people in this room who are
watching us
uh
who feel the tug of the holy spirit
to say i need to be better at that i
need to be better at saying no i need to
understand the power of yes i’ve said
yes so much that my yes doesn’t mean
anything people who say yes all the time
end up you don’t respect them because
they they’re not going to come through
they they’re just not gonna come through
they’re not gonna come through not like
you expect them to because they said yes
to everybody
maybe you’ve lost respect in your
ministry marriage home finances credit
you said yes too much
maybe the holy spirit is talking to you
about more than a vacation maybe he’s
talking to you
about the way you handle your kids your
wife
your budget
your bills
you’re everything because you’re working
from a place of imbalance
or maybe it was the fear part they got
you
that you were running uh
running from something
i can relate to that to run from
something something so traumatic that
you say i’ll never let that happen again
you spend the next 20 years running from
ghosts that are gone
and you still
got your nikes on flying
uh
i want pastor torey to pray for you
whether you get the book or not
you can you can go anywhere books or so
and get this book is it right
yep yep and the link is in the thing
there too
the link is in there you can get them
good on the link you can get it on
amazon and bring it to your house you
don’t have to put on your coat
and go outside or if you don’t want to
or burns anywhere you there’s so many
places uh
balance
so don’t just get the book
get the proof that’s in the book
it’s nice to have a book not a book for
that shout out that’s cute
but don’t get the book if you’re not
going to put the practice of it in your
life and reevaluate where you are and
particularly amongst our community my
mother died of alzheimer’s so you struck
a nerve when you said that
uh
african-americans americans are our
stats and likelihood of getting
alzheimer’s is much higher
we’ve led stressful lives all our lives
now we need balance even if it means
that we don’t get a five-bedroom house
even if it means that we don’t get to
ride a porsche
even if it means that we don’t have a
gucci bag
i’d rather have balance than a gucci bag
uh pray for people who have filled their
lives with things
to avoid the bankruptcy of their soul
and pray for people
who really really need what you’re
talking about who really need balance
yes sir well father we thank you so much
for this
powerful
spirit-filled time together
and you’ve assembled this group that’s
on right now hand-picked didn’t even
know what they were walking into but you
arrested them because you love them
and you know them and you do have plans
for them plans to prosper them and not
to harm them yes
and father i just uh ask that you would
give them the courage to surrender
to to not
deny the fact
that you’re talking to them
and you’re drawing them into something
that is so much bigger than a book
but yet
the tool
is the book that you’re going to use to
bring
significant breakthrough in their lives
father there’s some who are weary right
now weary and you said in your word come
on to me all who are weary and heavy
laden and you ultimately said
that you will give them rest hallelujah
so i
i speak rest god over the hearts and the
minds of all who are
gathered here right now
a supernatural rest a peace that passes
all understanding
and i thank you god for their openness
and their willingness to say yes to you
and that you would lead them
into the path of
balance or rest ultimately your presence
at the end of the day that’s what
balance is
it is learning to perfect
your presence
and
allowing that presence to nourish the
soul so we thank you god thank you for
allowing us to
hear this
to be exposed to this and we thank you
that from this day forward because we’re
saying yes to your invitation to this
rest we will never be the same again
in jesus name
amen
thank you thank you thank you for such a
rich
uh and touching and deeply you should
see the comments i i don’t know if
you’re looking at them but
so many people
uh
needed this
even people who didn’t even know that
they needed it and thank you for for
writing this wonderful book because
the instagram live is gonna go away
i’m going to go away you’re going to go
away
this book will still be here
yeah
putting it in print is something that we
don’t do you know
because print out last breath
wow
so
for all the hours and all the time and
all the editing and all the rewrites and
all the pressure and all the stuff
that you’ve gone through to produce
something that will outlive us both
thank you
for teaching our children and our
grandchildren
that you can get up without going down
wow that you can overcome without
collapsing
that you can do it
when you balance
i pray the lord bless all of you i pray
you’ve been as touched as we’ve been
i pray you go out and get the book i
pray that you put in practice today
you know what we ought to do we ought to
start having uh book clubs
don’t y’all think that’d be neat well
let’s start having book clubs so that as
you read you can talk why don’t you
start a book club and and get two or
three of your girlfriends or guy friends
or mix it then you have nothing to do
with gender
executives
and just spend 30 minutes at the water
cooler talking about
balance
see how it changes your business how it
changes your life most important it
changes you
god bless you thank you pastor for
pouring into us today
and uh we’ll talk to you soon
thank you sir
bless you