As Christians, we must adopt a two-fold approach to communication. First, we should speak the truth, and second, we should speak that truth in love. Dr. Evans says that doing both of these will improve our ability to impact God’s kingdom.
we are people of the truth
you are to speak
the truth
god’s perspective on a matter
and you are to speak it other christians
should hear from you the truth the truth
doesn’t just come and it should come
from the pulpit but it comes from
believer the believer saint the saint
that’s what you do that’s how we
encourage one another that’s why you got
all these one another’s in scripture
build up one another careful one another
connect with one another share with one
another welcome one another greet one
another you got all these one another’s
because growth happens in horizontal
relationships not just in vertical ones
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god has two posts
when it comes to your maturity and my
maturity and how the church should
function
when it comes to our communication
those two posts are given for us in
ephesians chapter 4.
he says in verse 14 as a result we are
no longer to be children
tossed here and there by waves and
carried about by every wind of doctrine
but by the trickery of men by craftiness
in deceitful scheming
but speaking truth in love we are to
grow up in all aspects unto him who is
the head even christ
from whom the whole body being fitted
and held together by that which every
joint supplies according to the proper
working of each individual part causes
the growth of the body
for the building up of itself in love
he says if we are going to be built up
if we’re going to grow up
if we’re going to make it to maturity as
christians
we must
speak
the truth
in love
the two post
that
is responsible for your
maturity and your influence in the lives
of other believers
is to communicate speak
truth
in love
the two posts are truth and love
that surround our communication
as christians
truth refers to the content
love refers to the motivation and
methodology
we are to speak truth
with an attitude
of love
we’re not to defer
to one versus the other
because these two posts
that stand side by side
become the determining factor
of whether you scored
in terms of your own
spiritual growth and spiritual
influence
paul’s concern here is the maturity of
christians
he wants us to what he says
grow up
because the reality is that many
christians never grow up
the bible declares that
a person’s speech
demonstrates
their spiritual maturity or immaturity
james chapter 1 verse 26
he puts it this way
he says
if anyone thinks himself to be religious
and yet does not bridle his tongue
he deceives his own heart
if you can’t control your tongue he says
because you’re not mature yet
you don’t know what to say when to say
it and how it should be said
either because you’re not telling the
truth or you’re not telling the truth in
the right way
and it speaks he says
to your spiritual
in maturity
he says that we are to be engaged
with one another
because he says this happens by that
which every joint supplies that is every
christian is to participate
in ministering to others with the truth
in an attitude of love
so it’s not just about you hearing the
truth
it’s about you ministering
with the truth we’re living in a day of
self-service christians they want
worship selfish not worship service
because they don’t understand
that the church is not just here
so that you can be blessed it’s here so
also you can be a blessing
and you’ll see that worked out a little
bit more but the goal of it
the goal of my speaking
to you and your speaking to one another
is to speak truth
with love
because that is the only environment in
which god
will grow us
let me say a word about this growing up
which is to be accomplished through
speaking the truth in love
maturity in the bible means to become an
adult christian no longer a baby
christian
and you become an adult christian
when your decision making is
consistently influenced by the word and
the will of god
in other words you are consistently
deciding things from a spiritual rather
than a secular perspective
where god’s point of view has been
normalized in your decision making we
don’t do it perfectly but we should be
increasingly doing it consistently
so if you’re consistently approaching
decisions
from a non-christian point of view it is
because you lack spiritual discernment
and the spiritual perspective is not
prioritized in the decisions being made
that is how you can practically know
whether you are growing up so spiritual
maturity has to do with decision making
and what god is after is that the thing
that should define the church
is that it is maturing
and one of the ways that that happens he
says is speaking the truth in love now
in verse 11
he’s talked about god giving leaders to
lead in this but verse 12 he says it’s
for the equipping of the saints for the
work of service in the building up of
the body of christ so the body of christ
is not just built up from the pulpit to
the pew it’s built up from the pew to
the pew
he says by that which every joint
supplies
he says we are to speak the truth in
love if maturity is going to take place
and he says
in verse 16 from whom the whole body
being fitted together from that which
every joint supplies colossians 1 28
says we are to present every member
mature so no member is to get away
with not growing
you don’t join the church for the
preacher you don’t join the church for
the music those are important you join
the church to grow
he says that you might grow up
that is where you grow
in your ability
to make spiritual decisions on a
consistent basis
so we are to speak the truth what is
truth an absolute standard by which
reality is measured or to put it more
commonly god’s view on any subject amen
on any subject that’s the truth
so this brings up the matter of the
tongue because that’s how we speak
we speak the truth
with love because god uses the tongue
as a
measuring stick
of how you are growing
let me say that again
james chapter
3 verse 2.
let me read it to you he says this
for we all stumble in many ways
if anyone does not stumble in what he
says
he is a perfect that is mature man able
to bridle the whole body as well
in other words
if you want to see how the rest of you
is doing look at how your mouth is doing
because he says your mouth is a gauge of
how messed up or how grown up the rest
of you happens to be
that is if you still cussing as much now
as you did a year ago
if you’re still as profane now as you
used to be three years ago
that means not only have you not grown
in your speech there are other parts of
your body that’s messed up too
we live in a world of putrid speech
of hateful communication
you look at some of the things that
people are saying about one another and
to one another on social media
and christians are getting caught up in
this too and as we get caught up in it
too
it not only shows our lack of maturity
it explains our lack of impact
look at what he says in ephesians 4
verse 29
let no unwholesome word proceed from
your mouth
but only such a word as is good for
edification that means to build up
according to the need of the moment so
that it will give grace to those who
hear do not grieve the holy spirit of
god
how do you make the holy spirit sad
he says by unwholesome words
words designed to hurt and destroy
not heal and help
speak the truth in love he says that is
to be our orientation proverbs 10 verse
11 says that the mouth of a righteous
man is a well of life
i mean we all know words carry weight we
we listen to politicians speak and they
affect whether we agree or don’t agree
with the policy whether we want to vote
for them or not
trust me words matter so our
communication is absolutely critical
first thessalonians 5 11 says that our
communication
should bring help
and encouragement
and admonishment
to people
so the first thing we need to do is
speak the truth
we are people of the truth
you are to speak
the truth
god’s perspective on a matter
and you are to speak it other christians
should hear from you the truth the truth
doesn’t just come
and it should come from the pulpit but
it comes from believer to believe a
saint the saint that’s what you do
that’s how we encourage one another
that’s why you got all these one
another’s in scripture build up one
another care for one another connect
with one another share with one another
welcome one another greet one another
you got all these one anothers because
growth happens in horizontal
relationships not just in vertical ones
so god wants you to be part of a church
so you can be spoken to and so that you
can speak so the mouth is a powerful
thing when it comes to the truth
but it can also be a tool of
transformation
a tool of impact
if
you are committed to the truth and
you’re not helping your children when
you don’t deal with them in truth and
you’re not helping god’s children when
you don’t deal with them in truth
if a person needs to be corrected they
need to hear the truth
but we are not only to speak the truth
we are to speak the truth in love
truth must be balanced with love
one of the great attributes of god is he
is love
love is the decision to compassionately
righteously and responsibly seek the
well-being of another key phrase love is
the decision
how do i know love is the decision
because it’s commanded
so we are to speak the truth in such a
way
that the person we’re speaking to
knows that we’re doing this seeking
their best
speak the truth in love it’s a
communication factor
so here’s what you need to know
love does not tolerate all
views let me say that again
love does not tolerate all views in fact
and that’s why people going to call your
name they’re going to say you’re
intolerant
we love all people we do not love all
ideas
let me say that again we love all people
but what we don’t do is love all ideas
god makes a difference between the sin
and the sinner
he loves the sinner
he does not love the sin
and he does not conflate the two to be
the same thing
that
because uh
i love the sinner i must accept the sin
absolutely not
loving your child doesn’t mean accepting
the wrong that your child does
you make a distinction between their
action and their personhood
we are to
love the immoral person
we’re not to love the immorality
we are to love the racist we’re not to
love racism
we are to speak the truth in such a way
that people know we care about their
well-being
failure to do this
failure to love like this look look at
look at the second john
if you turn your bible too fast you’re
gonna miss it
one of the short postcards in the bible
the first six verses i’ll just read
parts of him he says
to the chosen lady whom i love in truth
not only i
but also all who know the truth so he
says i love in truth and i know the
truth
verse two
for the sake of the truth
verse three
the son of the father in truth and love
verse 4 walking in
truth
verse 5
that we love one another
and this is love when we walk according
to his commandment truth
he says walk in truth and love over and
over again in those first six verses he
said and the walk means this is how you
roll that’s right this is who you are
you this is this if people gonna deal
with you they got to deal with truth and
love
they don’t have to choose between truth
or love because when they roll with you
they’re gonna run into truth and love
you’re gonna tell them the truth based
on god’s point of view and they’re gonna
know you care
speak the truth in love
be absolutely clear about the right
perspective
but that person ought to know
it’s coming
from a decision
to care and make something right
god will use your tongue
and how you handle the truth in love
to determine how much of god you get to
experience
well they’re perks
they’re perks
let me show you a few of them
in 1st john
chapter
4. me read it read it verse seven
beloved let us love one another for
lovers from god and everyone who loves
is born of god and knows god
verse eight the one who does not love
does not know god for god is love verse
12
no one has seen god at any time if we
love one another god abides in us and
his love is perfected in us
verse 16 we have come to know and have
believed the love which god has for us
god is love and the one who abides in
love abides in god and god abides in him
so here it is
when we deal with the truth the right
way in love because god is love
he reveals more of himself to you
the word knows he knows god because he’s
talking to christians he’s talking about
a greater experience with god
he’s not talking about informational
knowledge he’s talking about
experiencing more of god’s love so if
you need more of god’s love for you you
better show more of god’s love for
somebody else
so the first perk benefit that you get
is that god says you will get more of me
operating for you but that’s not the
only perk
you’re going to let some some some of
himself flow more readily
let me show you something else
first john chapter 3
verse 18 little children so he’s talking
to christians
let us not love with word or with tongue
but in deed and truth
okay
we will know by this that we are of the
truth
and will assure our hearts before him
so he’s bringing truth and love together
again
and whatever our hearts condemn us for
god is greater than our hearts and knows
all things beloved if our heart does not
condemn us we have confidence before god
now watch this and whatever we ask we
receive from him because we keep his
commandments and do the things that are
pleasing to him guess what he says he
says if you are speaking the truth in
love more your prayers get answered
wow
if you’re speaking the truth because he
speaks of truth
in love
you’re reflecting him
and now he’s more attuned to your
prayers
one of the best ways to get prayers
answered
is to speak the truth in love
that means you cannot be a siloed
christian
can’t be a stay-at-home saint and i
don’t mean just coming to the sanctuary
i’m involved in the life of ministry
where you’re touching people people are
touching you you’re serving people are
serving you but you are connected so
that you know them well enough to know
when the truth is needed and when they
need to be spoken to you can’t do that
if you’re not around anybody
when you’re involved in the lives of
people people are involved in your life
to speak the truth and love because
we’re people of the truth but we’re
doing it out of concern and well-being
not a vitriol and mean-spiritedness
look at what he says in chapter 4 verse
17.
by this
love is perfected with us
so that
we may have confidence in the day of
judgment
because as he is so also
are we
in
this
world
every believer will stand before the
lord
for a review of your life from the point
of your salvation to the point of your
death
or to the return of christ whichever
comes first
you and jesus are going to be in a room
together
and he’s going to play the tape
he’s gonna play the tape
this is the tape of your life
words thoughts and deeds
okay
so you’re going for a christian review
the bible calls that the judgment seat
of christ
at the judgment seat of christ it will
be determined
what things are rewardable and what
things are
to be rejected
amen but things are rewardable because
it was in the will of god for the glory
of god in service to the people of god
in other words what god could use
will be rewardable
what god could not use because it was
sinful because it was done with the
wrong motive because it involved the
wrong speech will be discarded
a separation will be made first
corinthians 3 talks about this
separation gold silver pressure stone
wood hay and stubble
separation occurs
what god can use will be rewarded
what god could not use will be discarded
the bible talks about
there being shame at the judgment seat
of christ
god we little to show for god’s glory or
for the impact that we were created to
make once we were
converted
but he says he gives a proviso
he says in verse 17
by this love is perfected so that we may
have confidence in the day of judgment
so you’re sitting there with jesus
christ you’re reviewing the tape of your
life
this is discarded this can be kept
but things are out of balance
you see you failed a lot more than you
succeeded
you see that you see that there was so
many years wasted in your christian life
so many years that you drifted from him
or you got involved in sin or you or you
just got passive as a christian and
it doesn’t look good
for you
but then he says in verse 17
by this you can have confidence
in other words
you know you know uh you do uh
when tax time comes
you make deductions
and you make deductions
based on
charitable giving
so you’ve given so much money to the
church or to some christian group or to
a 501 c 3 a agency of somehow and you
get
credit for a certain amount of
deductions
because you gave to help somebody else
so they’ll give you credit for that
god has an extra credit program
his extra credit program
is how much of my love did you share
with somebody else
how many people did you come alongside
with the truth
done in a right way how many people did
you try to help and he will allow
deductions
against failures
at the judgment seat of christ
it says this in uh james uh chapter 2
verse 13 he says where you showed mercy
i’ll show mercy to you
i will create a deduction
so the good news is if you got a bad
history up to now
in speaking the truth in love
you can bounce back to some degree
if you will get
involved with speaking the truth and
loving everybody you come up with with
the truth
not with false sympathy and the one
thing that should mark our church and
any church is you come in here to find
the truth but you also coming here to
show the love and when you bring the
truth and love together you then hit the
uprights
and they’re gonna say
it’s all good
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when it comes to communicating truth
god wants it communicated in a specific
kind of way
you can actually communicate truth to
harm
he wants us to communicate it to good
and that means communicating it in love
and love is the decision to
compassionately righteously and yet
responsibly seek the well-being of
another
the issue when you communicate truth
is are you doing it in a way that builds
a person up
versus tearing a person down
only when we’re communicating god’s
truth god’s way
will it have god’s benefit
communicate truth
in love
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you