As Christians, we must adopt a two-fold approach to communication. First, we should speak the truth, and second, we should speak that truth in love. Dr. Evans says that doing both of these will improve our ability to impact God’s kingdom.

we are people of the truth

you are to speak

the truth

god’s perspective on a matter

and you are to speak it other christians

should hear from you the truth the truth

doesn’t just come and it should come

from the pulpit but it comes from

believer the believer saint the saint

that’s what you do that’s how we

encourage one another that’s why you got

all these one another’s in scripture

build up one another careful one another

connect with one another share with one

another welcome one another greet one

another you got all these one another’s

because growth happens in horizontal

relationships not just in vertical ones

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god has two posts

when it comes to your maturity and my

maturity and how the church should

function

when it comes to our communication

those two posts are given for us in

ephesians chapter 4.

he says in verse 14 as a result we are

no longer to be children

tossed here and there by waves and

carried about by every wind of doctrine

but by the trickery of men by craftiness

in deceitful scheming

but speaking truth in love we are to

grow up in all aspects unto him who is

the head even christ

from whom the whole body being fitted

and held together by that which every

joint supplies according to the proper

working of each individual part causes

the growth of the body

for the building up of itself in love

he says if we are going to be built up

if we’re going to grow up

if we’re going to make it to maturity as

christians

we must

speak

the truth

in love

the two post

that

is responsible for your

maturity and your influence in the lives

of other believers

is to communicate speak

truth

in love

the two posts are truth and love

that surround our communication

as christians

truth refers to the content

love refers to the motivation and

methodology

we are to speak truth

with an attitude

of love

we’re not to defer

to one versus the other

because these two posts

that stand side by side

become the determining factor

of whether you scored

in terms of your own

spiritual growth and spiritual

influence

paul’s concern here is the maturity of

christians

he wants us to what he says

grow up

because the reality is that many

christians never grow up

the bible declares that

a person’s speech

demonstrates

their spiritual maturity or immaturity

james chapter 1 verse 26

he puts it this way

he says

if anyone thinks himself to be religious

and yet does not bridle his tongue

he deceives his own heart

if you can’t control your tongue he says

because you’re not mature yet

you don’t know what to say when to say

it and how it should be said

either because you’re not telling the

truth or you’re not telling the truth in

the right way

and it speaks he says

to your spiritual

in maturity

he says that we are to be engaged

with one another

because he says this happens by that

which every joint supplies that is every

christian is to participate

in ministering to others with the truth

in an attitude of love

so it’s not just about you hearing the

truth

it’s about you ministering

with the truth we’re living in a day of

self-service christians they want

worship selfish not worship service

because they don’t understand

that the church is not just here

so that you can be blessed it’s here so

also you can be a blessing

and you’ll see that worked out a little

bit more but the goal of it

the goal of my speaking

to you and your speaking to one another

is to speak truth

with love

because that is the only environment in

which god

will grow us

let me say a word about this growing up

which is to be accomplished through

speaking the truth in love

maturity in the bible means to become an

adult christian no longer a baby

christian

and you become an adult christian

when your decision making is

consistently influenced by the word and

the will of god

in other words you are consistently

deciding things from a spiritual rather

than a secular perspective

where god’s point of view has been

normalized in your decision making we

don’t do it perfectly but we should be

increasingly doing it consistently

so if you’re consistently approaching

decisions

from a non-christian point of view it is

because you lack spiritual discernment

and the spiritual perspective is not

prioritized in the decisions being made

that is how you can practically know

whether you are growing up so spiritual

maturity has to do with decision making

and what god is after is that the thing

that should define the church

is that it is maturing

and one of the ways that that happens he

says is speaking the truth in love now

in verse 11

he’s talked about god giving leaders to

lead in this but verse 12 he says it’s

for the equipping of the saints for the

work of service in the building up of

the body of christ so the body of christ

is not just built up from the pulpit to

the pew it’s built up from the pew to

the pew

he says by that which every joint

supplies

he says we are to speak the truth in

love if maturity is going to take place

and he says

in verse 16 from whom the whole body

being fitted together from that which

every joint supplies colossians 1 28

says we are to present every member

mature so no member is to get away

with not growing

you don’t join the church for the

preacher you don’t join the church for

the music those are important you join

the church to grow

he says that you might grow up

that is where you grow

in your ability

to make spiritual decisions on a

consistent basis

so we are to speak the truth what is

truth an absolute standard by which

reality is measured or to put it more

commonly god’s view on any subject amen

on any subject that’s the truth

so this brings up the matter of the

tongue because that’s how we speak

we speak the truth

with love because god uses the tongue

as a

measuring stick

of how you are growing

let me say that again

james chapter

3 verse 2.

let me read it to you he says this

for we all stumble in many ways

if anyone does not stumble in what he

says

he is a perfect that is mature man able

to bridle the whole body as well

in other words

if you want to see how the rest of you

is doing look at how your mouth is doing

because he says your mouth is a gauge of

how messed up or how grown up the rest

of you happens to be

that is if you still cussing as much now

as you did a year ago

if you’re still as profane now as you

used to be three years ago

that means not only have you not grown

in your speech there are other parts of

your body that’s messed up too

we live in a world of putrid speech

of hateful communication

you look at some of the things that

people are saying about one another and

to one another on social media

and christians are getting caught up in

this too and as we get caught up in it

too

it not only shows our lack of maturity

it explains our lack of impact

look at what he says in ephesians 4

verse 29

let no unwholesome word proceed from

your mouth

but only such a word as is good for

edification that means to build up

according to the need of the moment so

that it will give grace to those who

hear do not grieve the holy spirit of

god

how do you make the holy spirit sad

he says by unwholesome words

words designed to hurt and destroy

not heal and help

speak the truth in love he says that is

to be our orientation proverbs 10 verse

11 says that the mouth of a righteous

man is a well of life

i mean we all know words carry weight we

we listen to politicians speak and they

affect whether we agree or don’t agree

with the policy whether we want to vote

for them or not

trust me words matter so our

communication is absolutely critical

first thessalonians 5 11 says that our

communication

should bring help

and encouragement

and admonishment

to people

so the first thing we need to do is

speak the truth

we are people of the truth

you are to speak

the truth

god’s perspective on a matter

and you are to speak it other christians

should hear from you the truth the truth

doesn’t just come

and it should come from the pulpit but

it comes from believer to believe a

saint the saint that’s what you do

that’s how we encourage one another

that’s why you got all these one

another’s in scripture build up one

another care for one another connect

with one another share with one another

welcome one another greet one another

you got all these one anothers because

growth happens in horizontal

relationships not just in vertical ones

so god wants you to be part of a church

so you can be spoken to and so that you

can speak so the mouth is a powerful

thing when it comes to the truth

but it can also be a tool of

transformation

a tool of impact

if

you are committed to the truth and

you’re not helping your children when

you don’t deal with them in truth and

you’re not helping god’s children when

you don’t deal with them in truth

if a person needs to be corrected they

need to hear the truth

but we are not only to speak the truth

we are to speak the truth in love

truth must be balanced with love

one of the great attributes of god is he

is love

love is the decision to compassionately

righteously and responsibly seek the

well-being of another key phrase love is

the decision

how do i know love is the decision

because it’s commanded

so we are to speak the truth in such a

way

that the person we’re speaking to

knows that we’re doing this seeking

their best

speak the truth in love it’s a

communication factor

so here’s what you need to know

love does not tolerate all

views let me say that again

love does not tolerate all views in fact

and that’s why people going to call your

name they’re going to say you’re

intolerant

we love all people we do not love all

ideas

let me say that again we love all people

but what we don’t do is love all ideas

god makes a difference between the sin

and the sinner

he loves the sinner

he does not love the sin

and he does not conflate the two to be

the same thing

that

because uh

i love the sinner i must accept the sin

absolutely not

loving your child doesn’t mean accepting

the wrong that your child does

you make a distinction between their

action and their personhood

we are to

love the immoral person

we’re not to love the immorality

we are to love the racist we’re not to

love racism

we are to speak the truth in such a way

that people know we care about their

well-being

failure to do this

failure to love like this look look at

look at the second john

if you turn your bible too fast you’re

gonna miss it

one of the short postcards in the bible

the first six verses i’ll just read

parts of him he says

to the chosen lady whom i love in truth

not only i

but also all who know the truth so he

says i love in truth and i know the

truth

verse two

for the sake of the truth

verse three

the son of the father in truth and love

verse 4 walking in

truth

verse 5

that we love one another

and this is love when we walk according

to his commandment truth

he says walk in truth and love over and

over again in those first six verses he

said and the walk means this is how you

roll that’s right this is who you are

you this is this if people gonna deal

with you they got to deal with truth and

love

they don’t have to choose between truth

or love because when they roll with you

they’re gonna run into truth and love

you’re gonna tell them the truth based

on god’s point of view and they’re gonna

know you care

speak the truth in love

be absolutely clear about the right

perspective

but that person ought to know

it’s coming

from a decision

to care and make something right

god will use your tongue

and how you handle the truth in love

to determine how much of god you get to

experience

well they’re perks

they’re perks

let me show you a few of them

in 1st john

chapter

4. me read it read it verse seven

beloved let us love one another for

lovers from god and everyone who loves

is born of god and knows god

verse eight the one who does not love

does not know god for god is love verse

12

no one has seen god at any time if we

love one another god abides in us and

his love is perfected in us

verse 16 we have come to know and have

believed the love which god has for us

god is love and the one who abides in

love abides in god and god abides in him

so here it is

when we deal with the truth the right

way in love because god is love

he reveals more of himself to you

the word knows he knows god because he’s

talking to christians he’s talking about

a greater experience with god

he’s not talking about informational

knowledge he’s talking about

experiencing more of god’s love so if

you need more of god’s love for you you

better show more of god’s love for

somebody else

so the first perk benefit that you get

is that god says you will get more of me

operating for you but that’s not the

only perk

you’re going to let some some some of

himself flow more readily

let me show you something else

first john chapter 3

verse 18 little children so he’s talking

to christians

let us not love with word or with tongue

but in deed and truth

okay

we will know by this that we are of the

truth

and will assure our hearts before him

so he’s bringing truth and love together

again

and whatever our hearts condemn us for

god is greater than our hearts and knows

all things beloved if our heart does not

condemn us we have confidence before god

now watch this and whatever we ask we

receive from him because we keep his

commandments and do the things that are

pleasing to him guess what he says he

says if you are speaking the truth in

love more your prayers get answered

wow

if you’re speaking the truth because he

speaks of truth

in love

you’re reflecting him

and now he’s more attuned to your

prayers

one of the best ways to get prayers

answered

is to speak the truth in love

that means you cannot be a siloed

christian

can’t be a stay-at-home saint and i

don’t mean just coming to the sanctuary

i’m involved in the life of ministry

where you’re touching people people are

touching you you’re serving people are

serving you but you are connected so

that you know them well enough to know

when the truth is needed and when they

need to be spoken to you can’t do that

if you’re not around anybody

when you’re involved in the lives of

people people are involved in your life

to speak the truth and love because

we’re people of the truth but we’re

doing it out of concern and well-being

not a vitriol and mean-spiritedness

look at what he says in chapter 4 verse

17.

by this

love is perfected with us

so that

we may have confidence in the day of

judgment

because as he is so also

are we

in

this

world

every believer will stand before the

lord

for a review of your life from the point

of your salvation to the point of your

death

or to the return of christ whichever

comes first

you and jesus are going to be in a room

together

and he’s going to play the tape

he’s gonna play the tape

this is the tape of your life

words thoughts and deeds

okay

so you’re going for a christian review

the bible calls that the judgment seat

of christ

at the judgment seat of christ it will

be determined

what things are rewardable and what

things are

to be rejected

amen but things are rewardable because

it was in the will of god for the glory

of god in service to the people of god

in other words what god could use

will be rewardable

what god could not use because it was

sinful because it was done with the

wrong motive because it involved the

wrong speech will be discarded

a separation will be made first

corinthians 3 talks about this

separation gold silver pressure stone

wood hay and stubble

separation occurs

what god can use will be rewarded

what god could not use will be discarded

the bible talks about

there being shame at the judgment seat

of christ

god we little to show for god’s glory or

for the impact that we were created to

make once we were

converted

but he says he gives a proviso

he says in verse 17

by this love is perfected so that we may

have confidence in the day of judgment

so you’re sitting there with jesus

christ you’re reviewing the tape of your

life

this is discarded this can be kept

but things are out of balance

you see you failed a lot more than you

succeeded

you see that you see that there was so

many years wasted in your christian life

so many years that you drifted from him

or you got involved in sin or you or you

just got passive as a christian and

it doesn’t look good

for you

but then he says in verse 17

by this you can have confidence

in other words

you know you know uh you do uh

when tax time comes

you make deductions

and you make deductions

based on

charitable giving

so you’ve given so much money to the

church or to some christian group or to

a 501 c 3 a agency of somehow and you

get

credit for a certain amount of

deductions

because you gave to help somebody else

so they’ll give you credit for that

god has an extra credit program

his extra credit program

is how much of my love did you share

with somebody else

how many people did you come alongside

with the truth

done in a right way how many people did

you try to help and he will allow

deductions

against failures

at the judgment seat of christ

it says this in uh james uh chapter 2

verse 13 he says where you showed mercy

i’ll show mercy to you

i will create a deduction

so the good news is if you got a bad

history up to now

in speaking the truth in love

you can bounce back to some degree

if you will get

involved with speaking the truth and

loving everybody you come up with with

the truth

not with false sympathy and the one

thing that should mark our church and

any church is you come in here to find

the truth but you also coming here to

show the love and when you bring the

truth and love together you then hit the

uprights

and they’re gonna say

it’s all good

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when it comes to communicating truth

god wants it communicated in a specific

kind of way

you can actually communicate truth to

harm

he wants us to communicate it to good

and that means communicating it in love

and love is the decision to

compassionately righteously and yet

responsibly seek the well-being of

another

the issue when you communicate truth

is are you doing it in a way that builds

a person up

versus tearing a person down

only when we’re communicating god’s

truth god’s way

will it have god’s benefit

communicate truth

in love

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you