Dr. Tony Evans is the founder and senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, founder and president of The Urban Alternative, chaplain of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks, and author of over 100 books, booklets & Bible studies. His radio broadcast, The Alternative with Dr. Tony Evans, can be heard on more than 1,300 US outlets daily and in more than 130 countries.

the problem of divorce is a massive one

over the last 50 years the voices have

gone up 700 percent one out of every two

couples now gets divorced 50 percent of

all marriages end in divorce as with

some Han statistics by the year 2000

half of all the American children will

have not been raised in a traditional

home and in the minority community we’ve

already passed that statistic this has

all been exacerbated and made worse by a

court allowance of divorce called

no-fault divorce divorce is always

somebody’s fault but no-fault is the way

for the legislature to not have to worry

about it so both of you agree to the

terms both of you agree to how the

property to be divided they say we don’t

need a headache pay your lawyer 90

dollars file the papers divorce granted

no questions asked and so we are in a

day when divorce is easy so commitment

is not necessarily that important well

I’m going to give you what the Bible

says before we can talk about divorce

and remarriage we need to talk about

marriage what you’re getting divorced

out of

I would like to submit that when I share

today becomes the foundation for

everything I’m going to share over the

next three weeks and so your

understanding of the day is critical for

your own life for your own family and

for what you tell your buddies because a

lot of this mess is being stimulated by

what you think your buddy ought to do

and the advice you give them we will

look at two passages Malachi chapter 2

and Genesis chapter one and two so turn

to Malachi and hold your finger in

Genesis Malachi is our issue at hand

Genesis is our illustration so Malachi

will give the data Genesis will give the

illustration please note verse 13 of

Malachi 2 and this is another thing you

do you cover the altar of the Lord with

tears with weeping and with groaning a

lot of serious worship going on because

he no longer regards the offering or

accepts it with favor from your hand yet

you say how come but what reason because

the Lord has been a witness between you

and the life of your youth against whom

you have dealt treacherously though she

is your companion and your wife by what

covenant everything I say today and the

next three weeks wrap around your

understanding of one little Oh itsy

bitsy Hebrew Old Testament word covenant

it is your ability to understand that or

your inability to accept it

that will govern your life from here on

out before I get started if you want to

leave man and ice that sounds universe

but I’m halfway serious because once you

learn it God holds you accountable to it

but even leaving won’t help because if

you could have learnt it and did learn

it got a judge you for it so actually

you’re in trouble both ways already he

says she is your wife by covenant before

we can talk marriage we must talk

covenant what is a covenant all of us in

this room have entered into contracts

before a contract is an agreement

between two parties about a certain

issue in which stipulations are given

agreement is reached ratification of the

document both parties sign and then you

become legally bound to the stipulations

of the contract as a contract a covenant

includes a contract but it is more than

a contract what makes a covenant more

than a contract is that it is tied to

relationship not just to the formal

issue you don’t need a relationship to

do business I don’t have to like you to

sign a contract I just have to like the

deal but in a covenant it’s more than

how we relate to this thing contract it

is also how we relate to the person’s

involved in the contract which kicks it

up and makes it a covenant so a covenant

is a contractual arrangement between two

parties or two groups that are tied

together by virtue of arrangements and

relationships

the Bible has three governmental

institutions that is institutions that

God created to carry out his contractual

arrangement with this planet covered it

number one family are we going to talk

about the day so I won’t spend time

there but family covered it number two

church has redeemed the people he has an

agreement with them it’s called the new

covenant when he makes an arrangement

with them based on the relationship that

through them he is going to express his

concern in the world three government

the government is the third covenant owe

institution through which God operates

the world

organizationally so he bares a

relationship to all three of those and

that’s why my Bible says even the

governor and the president Romans 13 is

a minister of God okay now let’s go back

to the first covenant the first covenant

is marriage and family why did God

create marriage there are three reasons

why God created marriage and only one of

them have anything to do with you being

happy okay there are three reasons God

created marriage one of them has to do

with making you happy but the other two

don’t have anything to do with you

directly let me go through them the

first reason God created marriage is

pray

all creation having babies now

this is a whole nother sermon and I’ll

have time to go into it so let me just

summarize it because it creates critical

okay the Bible makes grand statements

about having babies back the Bible says

the more the merrier keep all having

them okay but why what a big deal about

having kids

remember God told Adam and Eve in

Genesis be fruitful and multiply so that

you will have dominion over the earth

the reason why God wanted married

couples to make babies wasn’t just so

that they could have people who look

like them running around the house that

wasn’t it

it had to do with the theology of

Dominion Dominion meant reproduce

yourself and spread out all over this

planet so that all over this planet

there will be somebody ruling every area

of the globe under my rulership in other

words babies are the way to make sure

the name of God gets perpetuated

throughout the whole earth see I’m to

raise my kids so that whether one moves

to Baltimore one moves to to LA or one

move to New York when they disseminate

and leave my house the mark of God

relocates in New York in Los Angeles and

in Baltimore that God has disseminated

worldwide that was the purpose of having

babies it was so that there would be

divine Dominion God’s rule everywhere

through the babies that were

disseminated everywhere and so the Bible

says blessed is the man whose quiver is

full of them so honey you ready to go

one more round

I didn’t hear an Amen

it is the perpetuation of the Divine

Name the most of us have babies of

carrion II God says have babies

occurring my name everywhere secondly is

self-realization that’s the happy part

he told Adam he says I will make a

helpmate for you that was another way of

saying boy you need help you are

incomplete when it is time to marry and

you don’t as long as you’re supposed to

be single God is your completeness when

it is time for marriage that means God

is now bringing somebody along to fix up

the rest of you that’s lacking the

reason that Adam was given a wife was to

complete the lack the reason why God

gives you the may he doesn’t give you

somebody just like you for if both of

you are the same one of you would be

unnecessary

he gives someone who is different than

you to make up the difference so that

you can fulfill the complete purpose of

life as God has ordained it so

self-realization the realization of all

God created you to be at the point that

he calls you for marriage

self-realization finally the third

purpose of marriage is divine

illustration you are a type of Christ in

the church the Bible says the church is

the bride

Christ is the bridegroom in a marriage

the husband of the bridegroom and the

wife is the bride and so you are to

illustrate a greater reality and that is

the reality of God to his people

so a bad marriage means a bad

illustration because an illustration is

supposed to do one thing illustrate and

so when you get divorced you’re saying

something very bad about God now when

God wanted to form marriage he

established an agreement between a man

and a woman in which they would covenant

unto him this contractual relationship

that we call marriage and it’s at this

point if you haven’t buckled up your

seat belt you need to because at this

point we want to break down the

ingredients of a marriage covenant I’ve

told you what a covenant is I’ve told

you what the purpose of marriage is so

now let’s look at the marriage covenant

we’ll look at it in principle in Malachi

2 and then in illustration in Genesis 1

and 2 principle number one about the

ingredients of a marriage covenant the

first thing you need to know and the

most important it is a legal

relationship established by God it is a

legal relationship

please note he says in verse 14 for what

reason because the Lord has been a

witness between you and the wife of your

you the Lord has been a witness we do

not have to take a lot of time I’m sure

to prove to you that marriage is God’s

idea God told Adam I will make a mate

suitable for you it’s all his idea

therefore it is a divine covenant

not a human covenant now only is it

God’s idea is God’s legal idea notice he

says he has been a witness against you

the Hebrew word for witness means a

legal accuser

he has legally seen what you have done

and taken the stand against you he has

entered the heavily courtroom and is

rendering a verdict against you because

you are divorcing your mate now that’s

why when people tell me you know a

pastor I don’t see why we have to go

through the ceremony on our piece of

paper doesn’t mean anything oh no no

that’s not it

it’s already legal in heaven so you

shouldn’t have a problem of making it

legal on earth it’s a legal declaration

here’s a witness and the reason you know

with legal is because when they got a

divorce they had to get a bill of

divorcement just couldn’t walk away you

got a bill of divorcement you got a

piece of paper

okay so paper did have something to do

with it and it was legal a legal

declaration of a relationship because a

covenant includes legality now grab on

to your neighbor for this one this is

the rough one coming in because marriage

is a divine covenant and not a human

covenant only God can break the covenant

that explains Jesus’s statement in

Matthew 6 what God has joined together

let know what man put asunder why

because it’s not man’s covenant and you

can’t let a man overrule the divine

covenant and even people know it’s a

divine covenant so they recognize God

has something to do with this well he

has a more to do with this and you care

to want to know he says at the moment

you and your mates

I do stamps in heaven legally certified

marriage five years later you don’t go

to judge God for the divorce you go

downtown and you say mr. judge we have

agreed we can’t live together anymore

both of us a sign on the dotted line

divide the property and therefore we

wish a divorce

the judge says man judges a man divorce

granted get a problem the man gave you a

divorce from a divine covenant he can’t

do that

so God sees the judge say divorce

granted God picks up his pad and says

divorce not granted so God doesn’t grab

the divorce at least a no-fault divorce

will go into what kind of voices he does

grant he does grant some once God stamps

no divorce that is it’s it’s a non

covenant tool based divorce it’s one

only man gave you God holds the position

you’re still married which explains what

Jesus meant when he said that if a man

puts away his wife goes and marries

another woman he is now committing

adultery and the reason it’s adultery is

because God still sees the first

marriage is valid because it’s the

divine covenant and only he can break

divine covenants men can’t break divine

covenants so here’s what we want we want

God to marry us but men the separators

come on now

God to bless the marriage but God not to

bless the divorce and God says if I best

a marriage the only way you can get out

of it is if I bless the divorce so I

don’t bless the divorce you’re still

married if you’re still marriage in

adultery adult bacilli penalty for

adultery is death therefore anybody

living in adultery dies I told you

I told you he said wait a minute but I’m

still alive not necessarily as you’ll

see in a moment cover dental death

precedes physical death so what I am

saying that this point is this marriage

is a divine covenant if you came

together with a recognition that God had

something to do with this that means

that you insert a covenant with God and

when you go to the divorce court and a

man breaks the covenant God says

unacceptable it’s acceptable to a

society it’s not acceptable for God

number one marriage is a legal

relationship established by God and

therefore only God can break it you have

to understand that only God can bring it

now some of you were wondering well yeah

but for what can I get it broken for

because some of you getting worried

don’t worry about it because I know for

many of you is the first time you’re

hearing this and how do you get dead

people alive you have to resurrect them

so if you’ve had covenantal death any

governmental resurrection and we’ll

explain what covenant a relevant

resurrection is if you have died

covenant Allah okay divorce is breaking

covenant marriage is entering into

covenant point two principle 2 which

ties into principle 1 it functions under

Authority there is always a hierarchy

and how covenants operate under

Authority let me quote to you in 1st

Corinthians chapter 11 it says God is

over Christ Christ is over every man the

man is over the woman he gives a

hierarchy everybody’s under somebody

that’s what that’s what hierarchy means

submission on some level in marriage

catch this both parties are under God

and the woman is to submit to the

leadership of the man hierarchy children

are submit to the authority of parents

and when you don’t have authority you

have chaos so covenants always include

authority now if God is the ultimate

authority in a marriage and he is

because it’s a divine institution if God

is the ultimate authority he called the

shots that’s what bosses do he calls the

shots now he says do you want to enter

into my covenant marriage the man says

yes I do

the woman says yes I do so the next

question God wants to know is do you

agree to operate covenant early in the

marriage and the marriage doesn’t occur

unless you say I do it’s like wait a

minute I don’t remember agreeing to no

covenant well she did because I think

the preacher said something like do you

promise to love honor cherish in

sickness and in health for richer or

poorer for better or worse you made a

covenant agreement because he ended the

statement with so help you God

or in accordance with God’s Word come on

and think back and remember that all

right what you did see you weren’t

thinking about God you were looking into

her eyes and she was looking at you are

as you said yeah I’d do anything yeah

yeah yeah you know you weren’t thinking

about God tough guys was thinking about

the Covenant he God knows that you have

honeymoon in your eyes God’s got

covenant in his and God is thinking

agreement stamped ratified that’s it

you’ve already signed and you can’t go

back any race I didn’t know what I was

saying at the church can’t do that

government ratified by God in heaven

settled an army that’s it and now he

says my authority so as you exit the

church God leaves with you to become the

authority over the relationship

now the tragedy is most relationships

when they get in trouble never consult

the authority and so what they consult

is the judge who has nothing to do with

this marriage he wasn’t there when you

got married don’t know what you said to

one another have nothing to do with it

he’s just a quickest person in town

who’s been given legal authority to do

something God never authorized them to

do except in certain situations which

we’ll talk about functions under

Authority so you must understand that

when you get married it’s not just what

you and your wife wants it’s what God

tells you and your wife you can have on

that half thirdly this is a heavy one

man covenants are only entered under the

penalty of death in other words when you

break any covenant of God you die

immediately I mean on the spot death now

you say wait a minute

holy I have gotten divorced I am not

dead oh yes you are

most certainly it’s called covenantal

death you die let me illustrate what I

mean

oh you think in Malachi turn back to

Genesis now you’re going to eat your

Bible for this series

Genisys

chapter 2

verse 16 and the Lord God commanded the

man thing from any tree of the garden

you may eat freely but from the tree of

the knowledge of good and evil you shall

not eat for in the day you eat from it

you shall surely die when was he gonna

die the day he ate from it did he drop

dead the day he ate from the tree not

most certainly no what happened the day

he ate from the tree he was

excommunicated out of the garden that’s

what happened he was removed from the

present and the Fellowship of God that’s

what happened guess what happened when

he was excommunicated his world crumbled

he didn’t die oh he did die but that was

long-term death that was immediate death

for this day not tomorrow not the day

after tomorrow

you pray covenant back death immediately

because what’s the definition of death

remember this death is separation that’s

what that is

you never are non extinct once you’re

born if when you die you go to heaven

hell

death is separation when you break

covenant with God you are immediately

separated from him and when you are

immediately separated from him that’s

death with death comes demise if you are

covenant aliy dead then there is no

person you can talk to no place you can

go to get covenant to life other than

the author of the Covenant there’s no

place you can go you are in trouble so

what happened when Adam got kicked out

he and his wife fought had to work eight

hours a day by the sweat his brows every

time man you sweat at work think of Adam

what happened with the woman listen his

ladies when he was covenant aliy dead

look two things happen number one pain

and childbirth but number two a very

interesting statement says your desire

shall be for your husband

what does it mean it means you’re going

to pain for him

you’re gonna want him you’re gonna need

him and he more often than not will not

be there for you and he you relate today

he needs your husband to understand he

just doesn’t seem to understand need him

staying with you and just doesn’t seem

to stand with you you need him to

support you he just doesn’t seem to

support you you have a desire for it but

it just never seems to come you can

never get this guy to turn around why

because he’s dead and the relationship

is dead that’s why and this means that

there is no life nothing gets this thing

cooking again and that’s why when you’re

coming intially dead life falls apart no

matter how much money you make when your

covenants broken if you’re blowing the

Jesus Christ and have entered into

covenant with God and break covenant by

divorce God removes his hands are

protective blessing from you and life

demises around you doesn’t matter who

you marry next its governmental death

Romans 7 says that a wife is bound to

her husband for as long as her husband

lives but when her husband dies she is

no longer bound but she is free to marry

another as long as the Covenant is at

work in spiritual life or in physical

life you are bound to the Covenant when

the Covenant dies because the mate dies

physically or when the Covenant dies

because God kills the Covenant

spiritually because there’s a biblical

basis for the divorce then you’re no

longer bound you are now free to remarry

so the issue is is it a biblically based

divorce now I get in all kind of trouble

and let me preface my statement here

that I’m not talking about any

particular couple in this statement but

I get a lot of trouble because I get

people mad at me because I have to ask

them questions

when they come for counseling about

marriage and one person gets got really

ticked off at me you know who’s not here

now but they just got really tickled me

why do you guys know all that all you

need to know is I want to get married

no no cuz I don’t want to help kill you

I don’t help you don’t help you die

because what’s your break covenant God

kills you bang it’s over and the only

way to deal with a dead person is you

got to resurrect them the Covenant kills

and it kills immediately so once you get

divorced for a non biblically based

reason that is other than a reason for

which God allows the Covenant to be

broken God kills you allows you to die

on the spot removes this hand from you

you’re out there on your own

and just like any Old Testament when you

remarry if you go out and you remarry a

person you’re committed adultery so when

you commit adultery you killed

physically in the Old Testament well

when you do that in the New Testament

you killed spiritually you die so that’s

the nature that’s why Paul says listen

in first Corinthians chapter 6 this is

what he says he says don’t you know he’s

arguing why you shouldn’t live him

morally that a man who gets together

with a prostitute becomes one flesh with

her he marries her when a man sleep with

a prostitute don’t you understand he

says that when he goes down to that bed

with the prostitute he gets married

because marriage is one flesh these two

become one

illustrated in a sexual union this is

when you go with a prostitute you get

married he said I didn’t know what I was

doing that what you do you’re committing

the marriage vows which is an

illegitimate marriage vows therefore

it’s death it’s death so what happens is

God and death God removes his life from

you and when God removes his life from

you you exist that’s it so some of us

can never get our lives together no

matter what we do because we broken

covenant and the only way to solve that

is to get back in covenant

awfully here’s a doozy it includes

ethical responsibilities that have a

cause-effect relationship you know what

cause-effect is because it is cause

something will have it if something will

be the outworking of it therefore it

will be called the effect look at the

cause-effect relationship in malachi

then we’ll turn the genesis but look at

Malachi we’re behind time but I need to

really get through this because it’s

critical in Malachi here’s what we have

he says in verse 13 you keep coming your

groaning your crying because I don’t

accept your offering but you want to

know why don’t you accept our offering

verse 14 because the effect is you don’t

accept the offering what’s the cause

because the Lord has been a witness

between you and the wife of you use

verse 14 what is he saying

you know what he’s saying because of how

you treat your wife in divorcing her if

cause the effect will be listen your

worship is a waste of time your church

attendance won’t do you any good you

divorce your wife might won’t stay home

from church say you’ve been crying

asking me to bless you

you’ve been crying asking me to help you

you’ve been crying asking me to take

care of you and I say I do not accept

your offering you say you’re going to

give me more money you gonna give me

more time I do not accept your offering

why because I’ve been living in your

home

I have not only watched you when you

come to church i watch you when you wake

up and i see how you dealt with your

wife of your youth how you’ve dealt

treacherously and for that reason your

efforts are canceled

it’s heavy you say wait a minute I hear

what some of you’re saying you same way

my pastor I mean I said a hard Old

Testament stuff that for the New

Testament or isn’t it

1st Peter chapter 3 verse 7 husbands

well with your wives according to

knowledge as with the weaker vessel for

she is a woman and grant her honor as in

joint-heir so that your prayers may not

be stopped get it because it god says oh

you wanted to force your wife get up off

your knees you’re divorcing your wife

get up off you need I’m not listening to

you today you mistreating your me get up

off your knees we don’t have anything to

talk about don’t ask me to answer your

prayer

well ask me you’re misusing your major

mistreating your me you want to divorce

your me don’t tell me how spiritual you

are you have a lot of spiritual people

who are messing up on their mate

that’s not spirituality God says you’re

dead dead people can’t contact him says

don’t even bother the press ladies don’t

feel too comfortable in the first six

verses he tells you the same thing same

thing same thing this stuff is hard

because it’s his covenant and men if to

milk taking his covenant and turned it

in the milky way his covenant

look at this in Genesis again real quick

Genesis chapter 2 now look at this cause

and effect remember verse 17 of the tree

of knowledge of good and evil you shall

not eat for in the day that you eat of

it you shall surely die okay so he says

this cause will bring this effect you’re

gonna die if you do this thing if you

eat but look at my man my man

Satan look at he is cool smooth he comes

in Chapter three comes on slithers on up

to the lady and says verse four and the

serpent said to her you surely shall not

die you know what he’s saying you don’t

have to worry about the effect even if

you do produce the cause if you do eat

don’t worry about dying god says if he

you’re gonna die

Satan says eat you’re not gonna die and

he’s been tricking a lot of folk for

years you he’s got full briefing you can

break God’s covenant not die when the

neck definition of covenant is death so

if you break God’s covenant and you

think you can just ease on up to a judge

and say yeah we have a no-fault divorce

here and we already agreed on the

property and you said I’m not gonna die

you’ve bitten the life of Satan and you

wonder how come your life still falling

apart man is you’re single again you

wonder how come you can’t get rid of

this depression how come you can’t

stabilize your existence how come you

can’t solidify your life even though

this person’s not in your life anymore

because now God killed you you say but

my husband is killing me now God’s

killing you cuz you die see the day you

eat you die that’s all instead of

leaving any discussion about it that

they eat you die you just die God

removes and separates himself from you

in the area of fellowship you die

so Satan wants to change the cause of

affect finally the last thing you need

to know about the marriage covenant is

that it is the means of transferring

blessing covenants guarantee inheritance

covenants guarantee the transfer of

blessings when you keep covenant you

transfer blessings I was having

devotions with my kids last night I was

reading to them Deuteronomy 28 powerful

chapter dividing the two has here’s how

it goes if you will be careful to do all

the things that are in my word then

blessed shall you be in the city but

let’s just say you be in the country

blessed to channel the wife be in the

kitchen and then it goes on blessed

blessed blessed blessed blessed then it

gets the verse 15 it says but if you do

not obey and I’m not careful to do all

that is written in this book of the law

then he says curseth je be in the

country curseth che you be in the city

and then he goes and he curses them and

says now it’s up to you do you want

blessings do you want cursings alright

why because attached to god’s covenant

are god’s blessings if you in the

Covenant you get the blessings if you’re

out of the covenant you lose the

blessings and marriage is one of those

covenants so if you have a biblical

basis for divorce then you can get out

of the covenant and still be blessed if

you have a non biblical basis for the

divorce then God curses you for leaving

the Covenant he said where that’s Old

Testament no no region six children obey

your parents in the Lord and look at

this and it shall be well with you

that you may live long upon the earth he

says if you obey covenant children and

obey your parents you have a quality of

life in a quantity of life so now I

explained to my kids I said the benefits

that you kids have is because of the

covenant of faithfulness of my father

and my wife’s father it see both of them

are committed Christians and have been

covered mentally faithful in marriage

and so that was passed down to me so

that if I made and my wife made the same

spiritual commitment that my mother and

father made we get the benefits of their

covenant of marriage relationship

working in our family so the kids living

in our family get the benefits of our

continued covenant relationship with God

but I told them if they break covenant

with God by not obeying their parents

then what they do is remove themselves

and the blessing that is operating in

this covenant of family so that they

will have nothing to transfer to their

family and so the inheritance is cut off

and it does not continue the beautiful

thing about family and the reason why

getting our families together No let me

show you what broken covenants do you

see them out in the streets all day long

children who were raised by children the

single parent problem has become an

inheritance and becoming the perpetual

lifestyle and that is cursing blessing

is when parents operate and covenant

children obey the Covenant then the

blessing that were covered in a pass to

the children so they can have that same

blessing to pass to their children so if

one of my four children leaves the

Covenant then they have no continuity of

blessing only the three kids that stay

in the Covenant do the other one dies

unless he repents so you say what’s the

bottom line here pastor very simple

verse 16 in Malachi I hate divorce you

see that hate is a strong word I hate it

you know why he hates it because it’s

covenant issue

he hates divorce not because you two are

gonna be living in the same house

anymore

he hates divorce not primarily because

what we gonna do with kids

he hates divorce not primarily about how

we gonna work out with the finances he

hates the boss because you have dealt

treacherously with your wife who is

yours by covenant that’s why hatin he

hates it because you broke oven it with

him regarding your wife when you break

covenant with him he doesn’t think a

small thing

just like you don’t think it small

somebody breaks a contract with you God

didn’t make a small if you break

covenant with him I hate divorce and you

ought to hate it too unless and you

still hate it but in terms of following

through on it there is a biblical ground

I hate divorce and so this church ought

to do everything he can to fight against

divorce to stop it to mediate it to do

whatever it can because God says it’s

takes not primarily because of the kids

it stinks primarily because of the

Covenant