Dr. Tony Evans is the founder and senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, founder and president of The Urban Alternative, chaplain of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks, and author of over 100 books, booklets & Bible studies. His radio broadcast, The Alternative with Dr. Tony Evans, can be heard on more than 1,300 US outlets daily and in more than 130 countries.
the problem of divorce is a massive one
over the last 50 years the voices have
gone up 700 percent one out of every two
couples now gets divorced 50 percent of
all marriages end in divorce as with
some Han statistics by the year 2000
half of all the American children will
have not been raised in a traditional
home and in the minority community we’ve
already passed that statistic this has
all been exacerbated and made worse by a
court allowance of divorce called
no-fault divorce divorce is always
somebody’s fault but no-fault is the way
for the legislature to not have to worry
about it so both of you agree to the
terms both of you agree to how the
property to be divided they say we don’t
need a headache pay your lawyer 90
dollars file the papers divorce granted
no questions asked and so we are in a
day when divorce is easy so commitment
is not necessarily that important well
I’m going to give you what the Bible
says before we can talk about divorce
and remarriage we need to talk about
marriage what you’re getting divorced
out of
I would like to submit that when I share
today becomes the foundation for
everything I’m going to share over the
next three weeks and so your
understanding of the day is critical for
your own life for your own family and
for what you tell your buddies because a
lot of this mess is being stimulated by
what you think your buddy ought to do
and the advice you give them we will
look at two passages Malachi chapter 2
and Genesis chapter one and two so turn
to Malachi and hold your finger in
Genesis Malachi is our issue at hand
Genesis is our illustration so Malachi
will give the data Genesis will give the
illustration please note verse 13 of
Malachi 2 and this is another thing you
do you cover the altar of the Lord with
tears with weeping and with groaning a
lot of serious worship going on because
he no longer regards the offering or
accepts it with favor from your hand yet
you say how come but what reason because
the Lord has been a witness between you
and the life of your youth against whom
you have dealt treacherously though she
is your companion and your wife by what
covenant everything I say today and the
next three weeks wrap around your
understanding of one little Oh itsy
bitsy Hebrew Old Testament word covenant
it is your ability to understand that or
your inability to accept it
that will govern your life from here on
out before I get started if you want to
leave man and ice that sounds universe
but I’m halfway serious because once you
learn it God holds you accountable to it
but even leaving won’t help because if
you could have learnt it and did learn
it got a judge you for it so actually
you’re in trouble both ways already he
says she is your wife by covenant before
we can talk marriage we must talk
covenant what is a covenant all of us in
this room have entered into contracts
before a contract is an agreement
between two parties about a certain
issue in which stipulations are given
agreement is reached ratification of the
document both parties sign and then you
become legally bound to the stipulations
of the contract as a contract a covenant
includes a contract but it is more than
a contract what makes a covenant more
than a contract is that it is tied to
relationship not just to the formal
issue you don’t need a relationship to
do business I don’t have to like you to
sign a contract I just have to like the
deal but in a covenant it’s more than
how we relate to this thing contract it
is also how we relate to the person’s
involved in the contract which kicks it
up and makes it a covenant so a covenant
is a contractual arrangement between two
parties or two groups that are tied
together by virtue of arrangements and
relationships
the Bible has three governmental
institutions that is institutions that
God created to carry out his contractual
arrangement with this planet covered it
number one family are we going to talk
about the day so I won’t spend time
there but family covered it number two
church has redeemed the people he has an
agreement with them it’s called the new
covenant when he makes an arrangement
with them based on the relationship that
through them he is going to express his
concern in the world three government
the government is the third covenant owe
institution through which God operates
the world
organizationally so he bares a
relationship to all three of those and
that’s why my Bible says even the
governor and the president Romans 13 is
a minister of God okay now let’s go back
to the first covenant the first covenant
is marriage and family why did God
create marriage there are three reasons
why God created marriage and only one of
them have anything to do with you being
happy okay there are three reasons God
created marriage one of them has to do
with making you happy but the other two
don’t have anything to do with you
directly let me go through them the
first reason God created marriage is
pray
all creation having babies now
this is a whole nother sermon and I’ll
have time to go into it so let me just
summarize it because it creates critical
okay the Bible makes grand statements
about having babies back the Bible says
the more the merrier keep all having
them okay but why what a big deal about
having kids
remember God told Adam and Eve in
Genesis be fruitful and multiply so that
you will have dominion over the earth
the reason why God wanted married
couples to make babies wasn’t just so
that they could have people who look
like them running around the house that
wasn’t it
it had to do with the theology of
Dominion Dominion meant reproduce
yourself and spread out all over this
planet so that all over this planet
there will be somebody ruling every area
of the globe under my rulership in other
words babies are the way to make sure
the name of God gets perpetuated
throughout the whole earth see I’m to
raise my kids so that whether one moves
to Baltimore one moves to to LA or one
move to New York when they disseminate
and leave my house the mark of God
relocates in New York in Los Angeles and
in Baltimore that God has disseminated
worldwide that was the purpose of having
babies it was so that there would be
divine Dominion God’s rule everywhere
through the babies that were
disseminated everywhere and so the Bible
says blessed is the man whose quiver is
full of them so honey you ready to go
one more round
I didn’t hear an Amen
it is the perpetuation of the Divine
Name the most of us have babies of
carrion II God says have babies
occurring my name everywhere secondly is
self-realization that’s the happy part
he told Adam he says I will make a
helpmate for you that was another way of
saying boy you need help you are
incomplete when it is time to marry and
you don’t as long as you’re supposed to
be single God is your completeness when
it is time for marriage that means God
is now bringing somebody along to fix up
the rest of you that’s lacking the
reason that Adam was given a wife was to
complete the lack the reason why God
gives you the may he doesn’t give you
somebody just like you for if both of
you are the same one of you would be
unnecessary
he gives someone who is different than
you to make up the difference so that
you can fulfill the complete purpose of
life as God has ordained it so
self-realization the realization of all
God created you to be at the point that
he calls you for marriage
self-realization finally the third
purpose of marriage is divine
illustration you are a type of Christ in
the church the Bible says the church is
the bride
Christ is the bridegroom in a marriage
the husband of the bridegroom and the
wife is the bride and so you are to
illustrate a greater reality and that is
the reality of God to his people
so a bad marriage means a bad
illustration because an illustration is
supposed to do one thing illustrate and
so when you get divorced you’re saying
something very bad about God now when
God wanted to form marriage he
established an agreement between a man
and a woman in which they would covenant
unto him this contractual relationship
that we call marriage and it’s at this
point if you haven’t buckled up your
seat belt you need to because at this
point we want to break down the
ingredients of a marriage covenant I’ve
told you what a covenant is I’ve told
you what the purpose of marriage is so
now let’s look at the marriage covenant
we’ll look at it in principle in Malachi
2 and then in illustration in Genesis 1
and 2 principle number one about the
ingredients of a marriage covenant the
first thing you need to know and the
most important it is a legal
relationship established by God it is a
legal relationship
please note he says in verse 14 for what
reason because the Lord has been a
witness between you and the wife of your
you the Lord has been a witness we do
not have to take a lot of time I’m sure
to prove to you that marriage is God’s
idea God told Adam I will make a mate
suitable for you it’s all his idea
therefore it is a divine covenant
not a human covenant now only is it
God’s idea is God’s legal idea notice he
says he has been a witness against you
the Hebrew word for witness means a
legal accuser
he has legally seen what you have done
and taken the stand against you he has
entered the heavily courtroom and is
rendering a verdict against you because
you are divorcing your mate now that’s
why when people tell me you know a
pastor I don’t see why we have to go
through the ceremony on our piece of
paper doesn’t mean anything oh no no
that’s not it
it’s already legal in heaven so you
shouldn’t have a problem of making it
legal on earth it’s a legal declaration
here’s a witness and the reason you know
with legal is because when they got a
divorce they had to get a bill of
divorcement just couldn’t walk away you
got a bill of divorcement you got a
piece of paper
okay so paper did have something to do
with it and it was legal a legal
declaration of a relationship because a
covenant includes legality now grab on
to your neighbor for this one this is
the rough one coming in because marriage
is a divine covenant and not a human
covenant only God can break the covenant
that explains Jesus’s statement in
Matthew 6 what God has joined together
let know what man put asunder why
because it’s not man’s covenant and you
can’t let a man overrule the divine
covenant and even people know it’s a
divine covenant so they recognize God
has something to do with this well he
has a more to do with this and you care
to want to know he says at the moment
you and your mates
I do stamps in heaven legally certified
marriage five years later you don’t go
to judge God for the divorce you go
downtown and you say mr. judge we have
agreed we can’t live together anymore
both of us a sign on the dotted line
divide the property and therefore we
wish a divorce
the judge says man judges a man divorce
granted get a problem the man gave you a
divorce from a divine covenant he can’t
do that
so God sees the judge say divorce
granted God picks up his pad and says
divorce not granted so God doesn’t grab
the divorce at least a no-fault divorce
will go into what kind of voices he does
grant he does grant some once God stamps
no divorce that is it’s it’s a non
covenant tool based divorce it’s one
only man gave you God holds the position
you’re still married which explains what
Jesus meant when he said that if a man
puts away his wife goes and marries
another woman he is now committing
adultery and the reason it’s adultery is
because God still sees the first
marriage is valid because it’s the
divine covenant and only he can break
divine covenants men can’t break divine
covenants so here’s what we want we want
God to marry us but men the separators
come on now
God to bless the marriage but God not to
bless the divorce and God says if I best
a marriage the only way you can get out
of it is if I bless the divorce so I
don’t bless the divorce you’re still
married if you’re still marriage in
adultery adult bacilli penalty for
adultery is death therefore anybody
living in adultery dies I told you
I told you he said wait a minute but I’m
still alive not necessarily as you’ll
see in a moment cover dental death
precedes physical death so what I am
saying that this point is this marriage
is a divine covenant if you came
together with a recognition that God had
something to do with this that means
that you insert a covenant with God and
when you go to the divorce court and a
man breaks the covenant God says
unacceptable it’s acceptable to a
society it’s not acceptable for God
number one marriage is a legal
relationship established by God and
therefore only God can break it you have
to understand that only God can bring it
now some of you were wondering well yeah
but for what can I get it broken for
because some of you getting worried
don’t worry about it because I know for
many of you is the first time you’re
hearing this and how do you get dead
people alive you have to resurrect them
so if you’ve had covenantal death any
governmental resurrection and we’ll
explain what covenant a relevant
resurrection is if you have died
covenant Allah okay divorce is breaking
covenant marriage is entering into
covenant point two principle 2 which
ties into principle 1 it functions under
Authority there is always a hierarchy
and how covenants operate under
Authority let me quote to you in 1st
Corinthians chapter 11 it says God is
over Christ Christ is over every man the
man is over the woman he gives a
hierarchy everybody’s under somebody
that’s what that’s what hierarchy means
submission on some level in marriage
catch this both parties are under God
and the woman is to submit to the
leadership of the man hierarchy children
are submit to the authority of parents
and when you don’t have authority you
have chaos so covenants always include
authority now if God is the ultimate
authority in a marriage and he is
because it’s a divine institution if God
is the ultimate authority he called the
shots that’s what bosses do he calls the
shots now he says do you want to enter
into my covenant marriage the man says
yes I do
the woman says yes I do so the next
question God wants to know is do you
agree to operate covenant early in the
marriage and the marriage doesn’t occur
unless you say I do it’s like wait a
minute I don’t remember agreeing to no
covenant well she did because I think
the preacher said something like do you
promise to love honor cherish in
sickness and in health for richer or
poorer for better or worse you made a
covenant agreement because he ended the
statement with so help you God
or in accordance with God’s Word come on
and think back and remember that all
right what you did see you weren’t
thinking about God you were looking into
her eyes and she was looking at you are
as you said yeah I’d do anything yeah
yeah yeah you know you weren’t thinking
about God tough guys was thinking about
the Covenant he God knows that you have
honeymoon in your eyes God’s got
covenant in his and God is thinking
agreement stamped ratified that’s it
you’ve already signed and you can’t go
back any race I didn’t know what I was
saying at the church can’t do that
government ratified by God in heaven
settled an army that’s it and now he
says my authority so as you exit the
church God leaves with you to become the
authority over the relationship
now the tragedy is most relationships
when they get in trouble never consult
the authority and so what they consult
is the judge who has nothing to do with
this marriage he wasn’t there when you
got married don’t know what you said to
one another have nothing to do with it
he’s just a quickest person in town
who’s been given legal authority to do
something God never authorized them to
do except in certain situations which
we’ll talk about functions under
Authority so you must understand that
when you get married it’s not just what
you and your wife wants it’s what God
tells you and your wife you can have on
that half thirdly this is a heavy one
man covenants are only entered under the
penalty of death in other words when you
break any covenant of God you die
immediately I mean on the spot death now
you say wait a minute
holy I have gotten divorced I am not
dead oh yes you are
most certainly it’s called covenantal
death you die let me illustrate what I
mean
oh you think in Malachi turn back to
Genesis now you’re going to eat your
Bible for this series
Genisys
chapter 2
verse 16 and the Lord God commanded the
man thing from any tree of the garden
you may eat freely but from the tree of
the knowledge of good and evil you shall
not eat for in the day you eat from it
you shall surely die when was he gonna
die the day he ate from it did he drop
dead the day he ate from the tree not
most certainly no what happened the day
he ate from the tree he was
excommunicated out of the garden that’s
what happened he was removed from the
present and the Fellowship of God that’s
what happened guess what happened when
he was excommunicated his world crumbled
he didn’t die oh he did die but that was
long-term death that was immediate death
for this day not tomorrow not the day
after tomorrow
you pray covenant back death immediately
because what’s the definition of death
remember this death is separation that’s
what that is
you never are non extinct once you’re
born if when you die you go to heaven
hell
death is separation when you break
covenant with God you are immediately
separated from him and when you are
immediately separated from him that’s
death with death comes demise if you are
covenant aliy dead then there is no
person you can talk to no place you can
go to get covenant to life other than
the author of the Covenant there’s no
place you can go you are in trouble so
what happened when Adam got kicked out
he and his wife fought had to work eight
hours a day by the sweat his brows every
time man you sweat at work think of Adam
what happened with the woman listen his
ladies when he was covenant aliy dead
look two things happen number one pain
and childbirth but number two a very
interesting statement says your desire
shall be for your husband
what does it mean it means you’re going
to pain for him
you’re gonna want him you’re gonna need
him and he more often than not will not
be there for you and he you relate today
he needs your husband to understand he
just doesn’t seem to understand need him
staying with you and just doesn’t seem
to stand with you you need him to
support you he just doesn’t seem to
support you you have a desire for it but
it just never seems to come you can
never get this guy to turn around why
because he’s dead and the relationship
is dead that’s why and this means that
there is no life nothing gets this thing
cooking again and that’s why when you’re
coming intially dead life falls apart no
matter how much money you make when your
covenants broken if you’re blowing the
Jesus Christ and have entered into
covenant with God and break covenant by
divorce God removes his hands are
protective blessing from you and life
demises around you doesn’t matter who
you marry next its governmental death
Romans 7 says that a wife is bound to
her husband for as long as her husband
lives but when her husband dies she is
no longer bound but she is free to marry
another as long as the Covenant is at
work in spiritual life or in physical
life you are bound to the Covenant when
the Covenant dies because the mate dies
physically or when the Covenant dies
because God kills the Covenant
spiritually because there’s a biblical
basis for the divorce then you’re no
longer bound you are now free to remarry
so the issue is is it a biblically based
divorce now I get in all kind of trouble
and let me preface my statement here
that I’m not talking about any
particular couple in this statement but
I get a lot of trouble because I get
people mad at me because I have to ask
them questions
when they come for counseling about
marriage and one person gets got really
ticked off at me you know who’s not here
now but they just got really tickled me
why do you guys know all that all you
need to know is I want to get married
no no cuz I don’t want to help kill you
I don’t help you don’t help you die
because what’s your break covenant God
kills you bang it’s over and the only
way to deal with a dead person is you
got to resurrect them the Covenant kills
and it kills immediately so once you get
divorced for a non biblically based
reason that is other than a reason for
which God allows the Covenant to be
broken God kills you allows you to die
on the spot removes this hand from you
you’re out there on your own
and just like any Old Testament when you
remarry if you go out and you remarry a
person you’re committed adultery so when
you commit adultery you killed
physically in the Old Testament well
when you do that in the New Testament
you killed spiritually you die so that’s
the nature that’s why Paul says listen
in first Corinthians chapter 6 this is
what he says he says don’t you know he’s
arguing why you shouldn’t live him
morally that a man who gets together
with a prostitute becomes one flesh with
her he marries her when a man sleep with
a prostitute don’t you understand he
says that when he goes down to that bed
with the prostitute he gets married
because marriage is one flesh these two
become one
illustrated in a sexual union this is
when you go with a prostitute you get
married he said I didn’t know what I was
doing that what you do you’re committing
the marriage vows which is an
illegitimate marriage vows therefore
it’s death it’s death so what happens is
God and death God removes his life from
you and when God removes his life from
you you exist that’s it so some of us
can never get our lives together no
matter what we do because we broken
covenant and the only way to solve that
is to get back in covenant
awfully here’s a doozy it includes
ethical responsibilities that have a
cause-effect relationship you know what
cause-effect is because it is cause
something will have it if something will
be the outworking of it therefore it
will be called the effect look at the
cause-effect relationship in malachi
then we’ll turn the genesis but look at
Malachi we’re behind time but I need to
really get through this because it’s
critical in Malachi here’s what we have
he says in verse 13 you keep coming your
groaning your crying because I don’t
accept your offering but you want to
know why don’t you accept our offering
verse 14 because the effect is you don’t
accept the offering what’s the cause
because the Lord has been a witness
between you and the wife of you use
verse 14 what is he saying
you know what he’s saying because of how
you treat your wife in divorcing her if
cause the effect will be listen your
worship is a waste of time your church
attendance won’t do you any good you
divorce your wife might won’t stay home
from church say you’ve been crying
asking me to bless you
you’ve been crying asking me to help you
you’ve been crying asking me to take
care of you and I say I do not accept
your offering you say you’re going to
give me more money you gonna give me
more time I do not accept your offering
why because I’ve been living in your
home
I have not only watched you when you
come to church i watch you when you wake
up and i see how you dealt with your
wife of your youth how you’ve dealt
treacherously and for that reason your
efforts are canceled
it’s heavy you say wait a minute I hear
what some of you’re saying you same way
my pastor I mean I said a hard Old
Testament stuff that for the New
Testament or isn’t it
1st Peter chapter 3 verse 7 husbands
well with your wives according to
knowledge as with the weaker vessel for
she is a woman and grant her honor as in
joint-heir so that your prayers may not
be stopped get it because it god says oh
you wanted to force your wife get up off
your knees you’re divorcing your wife
get up off you need I’m not listening to
you today you mistreating your me get up
off your knees we don’t have anything to
talk about don’t ask me to answer your
prayer
well ask me you’re misusing your major
mistreating your me you want to divorce
your me don’t tell me how spiritual you
are you have a lot of spiritual people
who are messing up on their mate
that’s not spirituality God says you’re
dead dead people can’t contact him says
don’t even bother the press ladies don’t
feel too comfortable in the first six
verses he tells you the same thing same
thing same thing this stuff is hard
because it’s his covenant and men if to
milk taking his covenant and turned it
in the milky way his covenant
look at this in Genesis again real quick
Genesis chapter 2 now look at this cause
and effect remember verse 17 of the tree
of knowledge of good and evil you shall
not eat for in the day that you eat of
it you shall surely die okay so he says
this cause will bring this effect you’re
gonna die if you do this thing if you
eat but look at my man my man
Satan look at he is cool smooth he comes
in Chapter three comes on slithers on up
to the lady and says verse four and the
serpent said to her you surely shall not
die you know what he’s saying you don’t
have to worry about the effect even if
you do produce the cause if you do eat
don’t worry about dying god says if he
you’re gonna die
Satan says eat you’re not gonna die and
he’s been tricking a lot of folk for
years you he’s got full briefing you can
break God’s covenant not die when the
neck definition of covenant is death so
if you break God’s covenant and you
think you can just ease on up to a judge
and say yeah we have a no-fault divorce
here and we already agreed on the
property and you said I’m not gonna die
you’ve bitten the life of Satan and you
wonder how come your life still falling
apart man is you’re single again you
wonder how come you can’t get rid of
this depression how come you can’t
stabilize your existence how come you
can’t solidify your life even though
this person’s not in your life anymore
because now God killed you you say but
my husband is killing me now God’s
killing you cuz you die see the day you
eat you die that’s all instead of
leaving any discussion about it that
they eat you die you just die God
removes and separates himself from you
in the area of fellowship you die
so Satan wants to change the cause of
affect finally the last thing you need
to know about the marriage covenant is
that it is the means of transferring
blessing covenants guarantee inheritance
covenants guarantee the transfer of
blessings when you keep covenant you
transfer blessings I was having
devotions with my kids last night I was
reading to them Deuteronomy 28 powerful
chapter dividing the two has here’s how
it goes if you will be careful to do all
the things that are in my word then
blessed shall you be in the city but
let’s just say you be in the country
blessed to channel the wife be in the
kitchen and then it goes on blessed
blessed blessed blessed blessed then it
gets the verse 15 it says but if you do
not obey and I’m not careful to do all
that is written in this book of the law
then he says curseth je be in the
country curseth che you be in the city
and then he goes and he curses them and
says now it’s up to you do you want
blessings do you want cursings alright
why because attached to god’s covenant
are god’s blessings if you in the
Covenant you get the blessings if you’re
out of the covenant you lose the
blessings and marriage is one of those
covenants so if you have a biblical
basis for divorce then you can get out
of the covenant and still be blessed if
you have a non biblical basis for the
divorce then God curses you for leaving
the Covenant he said where that’s Old
Testament no no region six children obey
your parents in the Lord and look at
this and it shall be well with you
that you may live long upon the earth he
says if you obey covenant children and
obey your parents you have a quality of
life in a quantity of life so now I
explained to my kids I said the benefits
that you kids have is because of the
covenant of faithfulness of my father
and my wife’s father it see both of them
are committed Christians and have been
covered mentally faithful in marriage
and so that was passed down to me so
that if I made and my wife made the same
spiritual commitment that my mother and
father made we get the benefits of their
covenant of marriage relationship
working in our family so the kids living
in our family get the benefits of our
continued covenant relationship with God
but I told them if they break covenant
with God by not obeying their parents
then what they do is remove themselves
and the blessing that is operating in
this covenant of family so that they
will have nothing to transfer to their
family and so the inheritance is cut off
and it does not continue the beautiful
thing about family and the reason why
getting our families together No let me
show you what broken covenants do you
see them out in the streets all day long
children who were raised by children the
single parent problem has become an
inheritance and becoming the perpetual
lifestyle and that is cursing blessing
is when parents operate and covenant
children obey the Covenant then the
blessing that were covered in a pass to
the children so they can have that same
blessing to pass to their children so if
one of my four children leaves the
Covenant then they have no continuity of
blessing only the three kids that stay
in the Covenant do the other one dies
unless he repents so you say what’s the
bottom line here pastor very simple
verse 16 in Malachi I hate divorce you
see that hate is a strong word I hate it
you know why he hates it because it’s
covenant issue
he hates divorce not because you two are
gonna be living in the same house
anymore
he hates divorce not primarily because
what we gonna do with kids
he hates divorce not primarily about how
we gonna work out with the finances he
hates the boss because you have dealt
treacherously with your wife who is
yours by covenant that’s why hatin he
hates it because you broke oven it with
him regarding your wife when you break
covenant with him he doesn’t think a
small thing
just like you don’t think it small
somebody breaks a contract with you God
didn’t make a small if you break
covenant with him I hate divorce and you
ought to hate it too unless and you
still hate it but in terms of following
through on it there is a biblical ground
I hate divorce and so this church ought
to do everything he can to fight against
divorce to stop it to mediate it to do
whatever it can because God says it’s
takes not primarily because of the kids
it stinks primarily because of the
Covenant