Marriage… In the beginning it was all fireworks and giddiness. The wooing of your spouse was forefront in every action and thought. Date nights and cuddling were the norm. Marriage… there are woes that come along as the relationship ages – and as YOU age! In a conversation with Casting Crowns front man Mark Hall and his wife Melanie, Priscilla discusses the fun & silly wooing days – contrasts them with the woes that are experienced along the way – and how a marriage can remain strong for those who keep their focus.

hey I’m Priscilla I’m so glad that

you’re joining me today it’s gonna be a

great episode of the chat this is the

place where we come and we just hang out

together

talk about things that are important and

today I’ve got a couple of folks that

are important not only because they are

known by lots of people they minister to

a lot of different people but because of

their private lives the integrity that

they hold in their private lives as

husband wife team that are serving the

body of Christ and doing it well we’re

gonna talk to them about marriage we’re

talking about your marriage why marriage

is such a beautiful thing and how God

can even take your messes and make a

miracle out of them in your marriage

it’s gonna be a great show so stay tuned

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because we’re talking to a couple of

folks that really are incredible people

have you heard of the group casting

Crowns well yeah of course you have

because who hasn’t they’ve been around

for quite some time and have been

creating incredible music that people

the world over have been enjoying

there’s an incredible couple as well as

others but this couple that we’re

meeting today today they’re kind of at

the core of casting Crowns and we’re

going to be talking with mark and

Melanie hall would you please help me to

welcome them this is actually our first

time meeting each other so we get to

have a first-time conversation right off

the bat this is your newest recording of

casting Crowns is that right yes would

you tell us before we talk about casting

grounds and just where you’ve come from

and and how God has brought you this far

just tell me about thrive but look I

love this that’s the roots of the tree

you wanted us to see the roots of the

trees arriving and reaching out yeah

well I’m a youth pastor at Eagles

Landing first about us in Atlanta I’ve

been a youth pastor half my life and the

name of our student ministry is called

thrive because of a mission trip we took

about eight years ago went off to

Alabama and somewhere in Alabama was at

Geneva Geneva Alabama we come out upon

this tree this monumental tree you can

see giant old trees anywhere else in the

country but not in Alabama

they’re all pines and the tornadoes just

knock them over every year so so we see

this tree that’s 300 years old and and

we’d never seen anything that’s big

before the kids are climbing and the

limbs are so big they’re coming down to

the ground and it’s just a really cool

moment and a farmer that was with us

told me he said you know if you were to

wipe all the dirt away from that you

would see just as many roots as you do

limbs and he kind of did this thing it’s

kind of like this when you look at it

and right at that moment Psalm 1 hit me

and I thought this is what we need to

talk about and I gathered all the kids

around I said you know some believers

are all roots and they want to know more

and learn more and learn new words and

new theologies and new beliefs but they

don’t have any love in them so that

they’re not worth a lot upside right

yeah and some people are all

reach they want to save and rescue and

feed and do and go but they don’t have

any any depth to their faith so the

first storm of life blows by who they’re

gone so you gotta have both you got to

have both Psalm 1 is our verse and about

being a tree planted by streams of water

digging into the word and reaching out

to the world so it’s always all of our

songs you’ve ever heard from crowns have

been something I’ve been teaching first

and they’ve sort of evolved into the

songs so what you have here is I took 12

songs and I wrote six songs about

digging deep and getting into the word

because if you don’t get into the word

you’re gonna make up God for yourself

yeah and you’re gonna come up with a God

who’s mad at you and whose team you’re

never gonna be good enough to be on

that’s the god you’re gonna come up with

on your own you get in the word you see

a God who uses messy people and he’s

bigger than that he will hmm tell me

yeah so that’s about digging deep and

then what does it look like to reach out

not to go reach out to the world so God

will love me but to do it because he

does and just letting God bear the

weight of holding you together yeah and

you just go be so that’s what the record

is well listen I want to tell you guys

that what is so great about the two of

you and about those others that are a

part of cast and crown is that y’all are

the real deal that there is integrity

that when you you know it’s kind of

refreshing I was talking to a friend of

mine just this morning on the way here

and I said listen I get so excited when

I see somebody from afar that I admire

and applaud and they’ve received

notoriety or rewards for what it is that

they do but then when you meet them

they’re just like regular people who

just like for real love God and if

they’re passionate about his people and

serving and just the fact that you all

are on staff at a church it’s not like

you’re so busy that you can’t be firmly

rooted and planted and get your roots

down deep somewhere and you guys have a

loving marriage and family that is that

that is sometimes unheard of

unfortunately that folks are so rooted

as you are we appreciate that we need

people we can point our kids to and that

we can look to that aren’t just about

the show but also have the roots

underneath that and we really appreciate

that about you guys tell us how it all

started Melanie where did this all come

from the whole Casting Crowns and how

did it begin

Casting Crowns started in Daytona Beach

worship band started as a youth praise

band mark was there and several the

other members were there and at the time

and and then it it kind of grew from

there you’re better at this story than I

am

I’m the talker she’s the one that tells

me later what I need to say right so

it’s really good so I’ll start the story

then you can tell me Mary’s like is he

Batak see the one that she knows she’s a

smart one I lead with my mouth music

thanks first so when she’s thinking I

just jump out the back I think she goes

well actually there’s 11 things wrong

with that but so I’m gonna give them a

get this wrong just so you know my

husband wishes he had your situation

where I would think of where you dog

first yeah I’m ready talking he’s the

one that’s it nerd girl see that’s what

God does in it God does that let’s

balance this out a little bit right so I

went to be youth pastor Daytona I’ve

always been a music guy and I found that

I could teach better with songs because

maybe they’ll know you’ll be done in

four minutes maybe that’s what it is but

for whatever reason I would use my

Steven Curtis Chapman tracks and

whatever all solo tracks I had to try to

teach these students that this is a

relationship with God this isn’t a

building you’re visiting once a week

this isn’t a worldview this isn’t a diet

we’re trying this is who you are and in

worship is prayer prayer is conversation

because this is a person so I’ve got

always go back to that so musics always

been a part of it and pretty soon I just

started kind of singing these songs in

the car just got started kind of coming

out of nowhere I’d never really set out

to do anything like that before and I

started singing them to my kids and all

these songs like if we’re the body or

voice of truth we’re just me and my

youth group in the youth room I’ve never

really thought anything past that so in

Daytona went on staff met JaJuan and

melody who are in the band they were

engaged they were leading worship I said

hey can I sing with you guys yeah I

guess you know so I came in we started

writing songs together and just building

this worship bands so Casting Crowns is

a Wednesday night worship band and the

cool thing is we still are that’s what

we do Sunday through Wednesday we’re

home and we’re pouring into the church

and so God really kind of brought crowns

to us

mark Miller is the singer for a country

group called Sawyer Brown they’ve been

around for yeah yeah they were the first

band to win Star Search I remember

that’s where I remember them that’s

right crazy guy with like cow skin

hands-on singing music weights crazy

so um way way back I was like two and a

half but um anyway I’ve just seen this

on youtube I wouldn’t even a line

written anyway but do y’all remember

that name Sawyer Brown yeah they’re

still rocking it there are still hitting

it hard and so he hears our music

through a college kid who just ran into

him at a basketball camp and found out

who he was good you didn’t hear him a

youth pastor and we gave him our little

CD that we were given to our youth group

every week and and that’s how this

started

he calls me says hey I’m at the beach

with a friend of mine Steven Curtis

Chapman and I’m like okay and literally

just I’m eating pizza with my teenagers

I walk outside answer the phone and this

is what I hear we want to start a label

we want your music to be the first thing

we we do stage name at that point

already casting Crowns for the groomers

party so I want you to finish the story

but tell us what does casting crowns

mean well when we were in Daytona we’re

trying to we were starting to play

outside of the church every once in a

while for a youth rallies or a disciple

now weekend’s that kind of stuff and

they realized we need a name right not

just the band and at a big worship song

for us at the time was we fall down yeah

and that was a good a cool song for us

and our students in our prayer times and

then the verse in Revelation 4 where it

talks about the 24 elders around the

throne how they cast their crowns before

him and there really was no other name

or no other that’s the one that just

came out of Scripture for us and and

that’s what we became soul Arthur Miller

Steven Curtis Chapman they say come

aboard join us

teleporter join us and you don’t say no

when Steven Curtis Chapman me of my my

answer he goes I’ve never heard anything

like this before but I said can i still

be a youth pastor and he said he paused

he said yes

Eenie and he tells me now even then he

thought he’s not gonna be able to keep

doing this

but we really were gonna keep doing this

I don’t think you would have crowns song

as if we weren’t in the church every

song you hear is something that’s

happening right now you know if I lived

in a bus I’d just be writing songs about

my old songs but we live in real world

and then in the midst of all of this the

two of you came together fell in love

got married how did that work out

because you guys okay we got to talk

about this

y’all work together because you manage a

lot of all this craziness that is

casting Crowns you’re the manager behind

all that and the tour manager and all

that stuff so we can talk about this

whole working relationship and loving

each other at the same time relationship

that y’all have going on but how did

that relationship even start how’d y’all

meet we my husband my husband my father

came as a minister of music to the

church where Mark and his family went to

church when I was in eighth grade I was

in middle school and you were in middle

school yeah yes to be exact you were in

the seventh grade and I was a nice you

were the ninth grade older woman but we

were friends for a really really long

time and just got to be really good

friends yeah he says that now I know guy

is your friend if a guy you just need to

know he’s not your friend he’s not all

guys are just like they’re just women

girl yeah yeah

watch out got a little Casting Crowns

wisdom that sounds like a book to me bro

so we were just really good friends for

a really long time through middle school

grew up in the youth group sang in the

choir together and in ensembles together

and sang and weddings and stuff we did a

lot of things together and then one day

the Lord just kind of turned the light

on and did some things in mark’s life

and in my life and just is it’s almost

like he said you know here’s the light

cue the curtain and here’s where we’re

about to start a ride that you’re you

have no idea what’s what’s ahead of you

that could have been some me maybe I had

like

on the smolder that day or something

yeah that was it how do you think that

commercial sells the stories like God

told me I had to marry him come on you

know the light hit just right where the

guy is standing he’s probably like in a

coffee shop or some I don’t even

remember what the commercials for but

this guy’s just standing there people

are getting coffee and stuff and then he

goes here comes the sexy thing with mark

and I is that because we had been such

great friends for so long it was like

God had used all of that time and our

relationship together

over the years – it was God and the boom

you know I understand we got it and it

was the smolder – it was yes and then

you guys have been married how long 23

years and in the midst of those 23 years

how many of those years have been

casting Crowns management singing

writing this wild life well the writing

in the ministry and stuff was almost

immediate I mean we got married I was I

was 20 yes and we were married and Mark

went to Bible College while during our

engagement process he which was very

short

by the way months but but we already we

worked together during that time we’ve

done all the jobs together and he was

the Easter Bunny once and I took the

pictures and yes the Easter Bunny at the

mall he worked at the basket store you

know he works at the stationery store at

the mall so we kind of did that his

friends for years and so then it was

like when when God said now we rise well

yeah of course cuz we just it was time

to get married and he was be honest he

was he was he was exactly and I hadn’t

seen it before because it wasn’t time

for God me it wasn’t time for me to see

it but I realized that he was exactly

what I had to ask God for know and

everything that I’d asked for them it

was like God said okay now is the time

and yeah I got to tell you I had that

exact instance with Jerry that I met him

we you know he we were in a dating

relationship but I was kind of you know

arm’s length him and then one day I was

on an airplane and I had fallen asleep

and I mean it was like the Lord woke me

up out of my sleep and I sat straight up

here I was kind of debating whether or

not this guy for me

and

Lord said everything you have written

down on that little mental list of yours

that you can prayed for when I started

thinking about those individual things

like Jerry was it right down to the tall

and dark chocolate skin God looking for

he was it’s amazing how God does that

answers our prayers and we don’t even we

don’t remember we prayed the prayer oh

yes and he’s all about the business of

trying to answer those prayers our

answering them you know for us we were

both in relationships and I shared a lot

with my students that if God really is

in control of your life and he knows

where this is headed yeah that’s where

the song already there comes from that

we ride that God’s ahead of you right

now looking back on your life your

future is a memory to him yeah so so

you’re worried you’re gonna pick the

wrong person so your going and trying

all these relationships which is

basically divorced practice is what

modern dating is and it’s let’s bond

let’s cover it no one lets contract

without covenant and try to just be this

thing that you can’t lean under trust in

you just how the other person’s feeling

today until it’s not working and then

you’re done then you go try again you’re

training yourself to give up later and

and that that’s that’s the culture that

I had fallen into yeah and what I try to

tell my teenagers is you’re worried that

you’re with the wrong person or that

you’re going to marry the wrong person

when God is sitting on the front porch

with you right now

watching your grandkids play with you

he’s way ahead of this so if you could

just walk with him now and thrive where

you are yeah instead of trying to be

warm tonight or be held or just have a

somebody at Valentine’s Day people will

start dating and enter into bad

marriages and have a hard time and

realize it was because they wanted to

prom date and all this yeah one little

night one little decision there allows

you to make a decision that the

consequences your heart was a very very

fluttery yeah yeah my father once said

to me I’ve never forgotten that your

emotions don’t actually have intellect

no so do not follow them because they

are not smart don’t put yourself in the

position where that’s gonna happen and

yeah we had done that both of us and we

both crashed

oh yeah same been there done that

anybody been there and done that

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you

feast your eye for one change the world

for one change the world

Oh

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orphans don’t need stuff orphans need

families join me Steven Curtis Chapman

and show hope as we help provide orphans

with forever families you guys have a it

is not perfect I’m sure but you have a

successful marriage and I don’t know

about y’all but I have lots of friends

that are getting to it’s it’s odd

because they’re getting to the 20 and 25

year mark and their marriages are

falling apart there are a handful of

marriages that I can say I look at in

the distance of 25 years 30 years and I

go wow not only are they still married

but they’re happily married they’re

friends they are enjoying each other I

want you guys to tell us cuz you’ve been

married how long 23 years ok at 23 years

what would you tell a younger couple

they could that maybe you would go back

and even do differently or that you did

well that has enabled you to thrive

right now at 23 years in your marriage

good I think that there’s one thing that

there are a lot of things but there is

one thing that definitely helps the

marriage because like you said earlier

there there are times in marriage that

are easy and times that are difficult

there are times when children are doing

what they’re supposed to there are times

when parents get sick and you know

people die and there’s so many struggles

in marriage because there are struggles

in life but the there’s one thing

besides obviously that we’re both rooted

and grounded in faith and and in our

relationship with Christ and that is

that we are together in ministry and so

we have this common bond that kind of

holds us together even in those moments

when you’re like why did you just do

that and why are you here and what is

this thing on an mission it is this

competition that brings you through some

that rocky point in the road or the or

that moment in the road when you know

that that’s difficult and in it but it

carries you through because this is

common bond

we share this passion and this desire

and this focus to to Minister the gospel

to people in the passion that God’s

given us for teenagers and for for

people that are looking and searching so

because I feel like marriage has gotten

a bad rap honestly I feel like people

are single people can be a little bit

discouraged when they look at married

people sometimes because there are not a

lot of married people that are just

having fun you guys are having fun

together I mean yeah I’m sure those

struggles because you work together you

live together you travel together you

know you’re always together I’ve got

very much the same scenario as you all

have but you’re showing that marriage

still there’s still a beauty of marriage

that is worth having

despite the struggle why do you think

that marriage has taken such a hit in

our culture today and what can we do to

fix it cuz that’s a beautiful thing what

do we do to fix it the image that it has

well it’s hard because teenagers are

growing up seeing it used to be just

love God and your your marriage won’t go

away but they’re like hey we’ve been in

church since I was a kid and my parents

marriage is going that’s right and so

maybe none of this is real anyway and

that that’s the thing that we’re gonna

have to one of the things I see that

Mellie and I accomplished with our

students in our youth group is they get

to see what it looks like and I think a

lot of kids are growing up not seeing

the model of what it’s supposed to look

like I don’t have something to go to all

they hear is we go to church nobody has

any problems but when we come out of

church nobody’s married anymore so we go

back to church again and everybody’s all

dressed up and sitting great and doing

fine but out in the hallway they’re

different people one of these things

isn’t real yeah which one which one is

and so so for us it’s our teenagers need

to see what a marriage looks like this

is what a couple looks like this is what

this is what it looks like when it’s

hard this is what so being really

transparent and being around them if

you’re in a church right now and you’re

a believer and you’re an adult

congratulations your call to student

ministry yeah yeah but they’re just

walking around those little road come on

market own stuff and tearing the church

up are also gonna be the adult soon and

they need to see that the truth yeah

not about teaching but just about

hanging out you got some in your

neighborhood have them have some of

these kids kind of do life with you and

see how it works good that’s good

so Melanie would you please tell us the

real deal we need to know what it is

like to have to work with travel with on

a tour bus I’m assuming you guys travel

on tour bus sometimes so you got to work

with you have to do tour bus stuff with

you’ve got to live with this same person

all the time there are some people that

are watching there’s a wife right now

that’s watching that’s going I’m so glad

my husband goes to work eight hours

today I don’t know what I would do if we

weren’t apart for a little while but you

guys look at you smiles on your faces

yeah it’s just so awesome all the time

but I’m saying somehow you’ve made it

through the UH nasim parks did I just

make up a word I think I just mean

you’re here so could you just give us

Melanie from a woman’s perspective for a

woman that’s watching and she’s going

you know what I want to love my husband

well but I want to be able to know how

to deal with the struggle times of the

togetherness sometimes it’s just hard to

be together you know so tell us how that

looks in your life and you know how you

work through it I think that just to go

back to what I said earlier I think that

there has to be a common bond of purpose

in your walk with Christ and your focus

in ministry if you’re if everyone’s

going this their separate ways all the

time there there’s nothing to draw you

together so I really believe that that’s

the thing that that holds us together

that you know kind of like love covers a

multitude of sins and it’s the same way

with the with the passion for ministry

that we both have in common you know and

that’s what we cling to the commonality

we have in common and the fact that it’s

something that’s beyond you know tennis

or yeah you know something you know it

helps to put it all in perspective but

do you guys just like make sure you

separate your dating life from work life

because sometimes you can be together so

much that you forget oh we actually

haven’t gone on a date we haven’t

actually talked to each other we’ve just

been together doing business stuff and

getting the kids here and you know and

planning the tour but we haven’t

actually had a candlelight dinner and

looked at each other and talked

we do have a candlelight dinner usually

hey let me look at our dates for next

week and see so yeah we’ll tell you if

we figured that out I mean that’s

something you’re always working at so

there’ll be some times when we can keep

crowns off the table or not talk about

home school for a while and and but at

the same time that is who we are – yeah

so I guess you got to see the beauty of

all of it I need the hang time just you

and me but the home school needs to be

you and me and everything needs to be

you and me so I need to be engaged in

school yeah and hearing and thinking

through all the stuff she’s working on

and being absolutely no help with math

dyslexic dad is not allowed to help with

math but but I need to see the value of

what she’s doing and I see it by diving

in it Instagram posts about how awesome

a husband I am all day long but she

knows if I am or not so this is the only

one I gotta impress here so I’m good

with words I can just give it all up so

she’s not hearing that darling you’re so

magical that’s right just dive into some

math so yeah that helps I think another

thing that helps is we find commonality

but we also guys have to see the beauty

of the opposites in us like you were

saying you are different yep Sheena are

different it took a long time we need to

appreciate her left brains and heard to

see my right brain is okay because I was

threatened by how sharp she is and you

just say hey when we do this tomorrow

well and she’ll she could see a month

out right now in her head she’s probably

planning an event for Nick right now

Matt were talk so she’s awesome at that

and it threatened me so I’m the youth

pastor I’ll head up in the clouds

wouldn’t this be cool guy is everything

I do yeah and she would figure out why

it needed to be different and it would

threaten me so I would push her away

mm-hmm and and that made for some rough

years yeah because I couldn’t see that

God sent her on purpose yeah so she put

some structure to all of your ideas and

vision we need those opposites but it

does cause for some rough years and

those were a few years are we

talk about in the second half of our

conversation we are having two different

opportunities to speak to this

incredible couple you just watched part

one so you’re going to want to make sure

to tune in to part two will you please

help me to thank these incredible people

mark and Melanie hall

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