The media rarely displays a happy wife. Turn onto any channel or open any magazine and the portrayal of marriage are heartbreaking. With daunting statistics on divorce and affairs, many have lost hope that they could be once again happily married to the person whom they once said “I do” to! Join us as we hear from Fawn Weaver, an investor, best- selling author, and happily married wife, about her mission to shine a brighter light on this biblical union and how you truly can become part of her Happy Wives Club!

hey there I’m Priscilla thank you so

much for joining me today I’m glad that

you’re here the chat with Priscilla

that’s where you come it’s a place where

we just have chats you know

conversations about things that I hope

will be impactful to you informative

challenging sometimes or just plain old

flat-out fun so today I want you to have

a lot of fun pull up a chair and grab

your favorite hot beverage cozy up and

let’s talk today on the chat with

Priscilla stay tuned

okay I had a friend of mine who is

single say to me recently Priscilla I do

not think I want to get married and I

said to her why why don’t you want to

get married and she said because all of

the married people around me make

marriage look miserable every time I’m

talking to them about what it is to be

married they’re just complaining or

they’re whining about something they are

the worst advertisers for marriage and

have you ever had people talk to you

about marriage and it just sounds

depressing right so I’m listening to my

friend and I’m thinking man we got to

find a way to be better advertisers for

for marriage because we need to be in

marriages where we are happy and content

and fulfilled so while I was thinking

about this I came across this little

book by a woman who is writing about

what it means to just be a happy wife

and I’ve been very intrigued by

everything that she’s discovered as she

has literally traveled around the globe

as she’s gone to different cultures

different races different backgrounds

she wanted to find as many happy wives

as she could and then try to figure out

what was the common thread that made

these women content in their role as

wives so listen whether you are a single

woman or you are a married woman you

were going to want to stay tuned as we

interview an incredible woman who really

is changing the way marriage looks would

you please help me to welcome Sean

Weaver to the program today

hi

one in have a seat thank you

cozy yourself up in those windows there

my friend we have a lot of talking to do

because there are a lot of women who are

very very unhappy in their marriages and

I want to talk to you first of all about

why you even went out on this quest to

find out what makes a happy marriage why

was that even important to you well a

part of it was is because I knew you and

I weren’t the only ones who were happily

married and I had so many friends around

me who actually were happily married and

as you said there’s so many that are bad

advertisements and then all the ones

that were happily married are not

advertising at all just completely

silent so you really just had one side

of the demographic that’s telling the

entire circle vocal where the vocal one

so you have 53 percent of marriages that

succeed 47 percent that fail and all

eyes are on that forty seven percent and

I said I want to know what the top 10%

of that 53 percent is doing okay do you

think that media do you think that

movies entertainment do you think that

it is controversial and good TV to sort

of highlight the bad and so that’s why

we’re also seeing more of that kind of

broadcasted out there for us to see

I think it’s twofold I think that number

one when you meet folks in Hollywood so

many of them are miserable so what

they’re writing about is truly their

lives but Hollywood isn’t reality so you

have the people behind the scenes that

are really playing out their lives in

front of the camera that’s a part of it

the other part of it is is happy then

sale yeah drama sales drama sells the

miserable wife the nagging wife the

annoying wife and the cheating husband

that sells it sells magazines

it sells television shows it sells

everything that there is to be sold

mm-hmm so you decided you’re going to

figure out how to highlight the top 10%

of the 53 percent of wives that are

happy in their relationships and I’m

just randomly choosing a 10 percent

number so it was just the top portion of

that that are genuinely happy this

doesn’t mean the ones that sweet things

under the rug and pretend that

everything is okay when they’re in the

public I mean the ones that behind

closed doors every person in the

community every person in their family

would say they’re the real deal that

couple right there has been happily

married 25 years or more

they’ve got something to teach you okay

how are you defining happy happy I’m

defining happy the way anyone else would

define happy whatever makes you happy

so just feeling whole content satisfied

with what you have I think there’s a

difference between satisfied and happy

okay come on because I know plenty of

people that are satisfied but you would

not necessarily say that they are they

would not describe themselves as happy

so for instance you have so many that

compare their marriages to other

marriages and if they just focused on

them their own marriage and their own

relationship they would be happy there

but they’re on ground or you better

believe it but then when you compare

what you have to someone else’s you

compare your real life to their

highlights UHN everybody’s instagramming

their highlights yes you do know that

right what we’re seeing on Instagram has

18 different filters as it was my light

of their day or their absolutely and so

you’re comparing it to the highlights so

when you’re talking about how do you

define happiness I say this when you

look at yourself and you ask yourself

what makes me happy and then figure out

do you have those things and not meaning

things like things you buy yeah virtues

absolutely attributes of life thank you

happy okay so you decide you were going

to not just interview the people that

live in your neck of the woods yeah you

decided to go on a real huge vast

journey what did that look like and how

did you choose the places in the world

where you went well I chose the places

that I went based on people that I knew

around the world so I reached out to

people I was in the hotel industry

before and so I knew so many people from

around the world and I would reach out

and say this is what I’m trying to do I

am trying to find that couple I mean

literally that couple that everyone will

point to and say if we could all have a

marriage like that couple that’s who we

want we are still holding hey they’re

still holding hand look at you

everything they’ve been through you know

infertility miscarriages they’ve been

through finances high finances low they

have been through everything in 25 years

or late years later they are still

looking into each other’s eyes they’re

laughing at each other’s jokes they’re

not tearing each other’s down

they won’t hang out around anyone who

tears their spouse down I want to get to

those people and so I reached out to

everyone and said point me to those two

couples and I would get on a plane and

fly to wherever that country was if we

go

I went I started in Canada and I went to

South Africa and then I went to

Mauritius I went to the Philippines to

New Zealand to Australia to kashta where

else did I go I don’t want to forget any

of these London Croatia Rome it I was I

was all over the place and the thing

that was fascinating to me is I went to

six different continents y’all

Antarctica there’s no one there

I tried I really tried nobody I tried

anybody there is one thing cold it’s

cold it’s cold I tried to do all seven

continents and finally I reach back out

to my publisher I said guys that’s seven

continent not going to happen but on on

those six continents what made a wife

happy and a husband happy was the same

no matter the background no matter the

religion no matter where you were raised

how much you have in the bank the

principles were the same and there are

12 common denominators okay give us a

few of those we’re sitting on the edge

of our seat what makes a happy spouse in

marriage well this this is the

interesting thing the number one thing

when I would sit down with the the wives

or the couples for most of the time I

sat down with couples if I asked the

question what is that one thing if you

told me write one thing in this book and

do not forget it what is that one thing

that I cannot forget to say almost every

single one the very first thing that

will come out of their mouths mutual

respect mutual respect mutual it’s got

to go both ways now you know that’s kind

of interesting it’s interesting to me

because I I would expect that maybe the

wife would think that her husband needs

respect yes yes but then I would think

that his response yes might revolve

around something else right you would

think let me tell you so this is this is

this is the funny thing that when you

sit down with happily married women

there is a

there is a connecting dot between all

the women that I sat down with they were

all strong okay they all knew who they

were and they all every single one of

them no matter where they were in life

no matter how great their careers were I

interviewed one woman who was one of the

top plastic surgeons in the world she is

married to a judge and to watch them

don’t over each other was the best thing

ever because when you are a strong woman

you realize doting over your husband

does it make you weak that’s right and

that respect because you’re giving it

they want to give it back and so for

every wife that I sat down with it was

almost almost instantaneous what would

come out of their mouths mutual respect

okay so then that means the flip side of

the coin of that if happiness in a

relationship and contentment and

fulfillment is found in mutual respect

that means the flip side of the coin is

that those who are in an unhappy place

in their life one of the reasons could

be that they’re not respecting that

their spouse they don’t have enough

security in and of themselves that

they’re able to build up and dote over

and lift up that other individual

because there’s an insecurity in them

yes that causes there to be maybe

competition absolutely and then you end

up in a home with with competing spouses

which is completely unnecessary your to

be on the same team so when you sit down

with couples that have been happily

married for 25 years or more the big

difference between those that are

happily married and those that are

unhappily married when they go through

challenges is those that are unhappily

married when they’re going through a

challenge they go in opposite directions

of each other they start pointing swords

at each other the couples that are

happily married they go through the

exact same challenge but the difference

is is they team up together and they

turn their swords against the challenge

okay so there they see themselves as a

unit as opposed to you me let’s fight

our own unique ways well it was I was

doing a talk for a financial seminar and

this was a little while ago right after

the book came out and one of the

financial advisors said you know we get

so many couples in here that are on the

brink of divorce and it has to do with

their finances and and all of the money

I’m set they’re having and so what would

you say is something that keeps couples

together even when they’re having

financial challenges and the story I

told them is the first time I came into

Nashville you’ve come into Nashville

when it’s been raining outside right

okay

so I’m coming into Nashville this was my

first experience and we’re coming in and

it says we’re going to have slight

turbulence ‘iz so we’re coming in and

literally the plane just yeah and keeps

going I don’t know how far we were

dropping but poor guy sitting in the

center seat was sweating he had on

headsets and he’s just like yeah poor

thing

yeah and it keeps doing that I tried

around and look at the flight attendant

and she’s like lalalalala oh yeah and I

mean we start going through these

turbulence –es and as we get closer she

starts coming through the aisle to pick

up trash everyone on that plane thinks

they’re about to lose their life the

difference is that she already knows the

ending she knows that 99% of those

planes that go through those kind of

turbulence are going to land and they’re

going to land just fine so she had been

through it so many times it wasn’t a big

deal and so for so many couples the real

big difference between is we were both

on the same plane this guy sweating who

thought he was going to lose his life

and this woman who’s like anyone have

trash trash anyone can I pick up your

trash the same exact situation yeah it’s

how you handle it that makes a

difference all right well Vaughn

Weaver’s taking out the trash today all

of our America yes she is we’ll be right

back in just a couple minutes stay tuned

hi I’m Priscilla and I wanted to take an

opportunity to invite you personally to

join me for a seven session Bible study

on the armour of God will dive deeply

into what it means to be equipped to

stand firm against the schemes of the

enemy he is very real and he has been so

strategic and targeted his attacks

against us why shouldn’t we be equally

strategic and targeted in standing firm

against him

and you and I have an opportunity to

suit up to put on some armor that works

and to go to battle and to see victory

declared in our lives and the lives of

those people that we love this Bible

study will be one that will change our

lives forever and will help us to walk

in victory so plan to join me won’t you

the armor of God

hey there welcome back we’ve been having

a very interesting conversation with von

Weber who’s the author of incredible

books one of which is called the

argument free marriage we all need to

get a hold of that one

don’t leave but also the happy Wives

Club and that’s really what we’re

talking about today there are one nearly

1 million women that have literally

joined the happy Wives Club you can too

at the happy wives club calm and it

enables you to just be connected with

other women who are choosing happiness

in their marriages and in their lives

and we are learning some of the

principles about what it means to be a

happy wife from this woman who travelled

all around the globe literally did to

talk about couples who are happy I’m

really intrigued and want to just sit

for just a few minutes on this topic of

a woman doting on building up the ego

really of God I don’t think that we

really realize the power and the

strength and the benefit that comes back

to us yes when we really build that guy

up that ego is serious business it’s

serious business and it’s so fragile

yeah it’s so fragile and so when people

ask me you know with with the issue of

really connecting with your spouse and

and how do you get your spouse to truly

trust you this fragile ego it’s a big

deal a big deal and being able to lift

your spouse up being able to and for

women especially and we were saying this

during the break I don’t really know

when it happened I’m 39 I’ll be 40 next

year and so the what the first two waves

of the feminist movement kind of worked

before us but when I sat down with with

one of the women I said what do you

think it is and she was there for every

wave of the feminist movement and she

said here’s the problem with the

feminist movement with all of the good

that it did and I believe that it did

good yeah the problem is is that they

told us that our children were to be

number one we take care of ourselves we

take care of our children if we put our

husbands out at the front door it didn’t

matter but we would never do that to our

kids and so she said with all of the

good that was there the problem is is we

still have not unwound from that point

where we put ourselves and our kids

first and we put our husbands behind all

of that

and the problem with that is is if

you’ve ever met a woman who is happily

married you got to hear y’all if you’ve

ever met a woman who is genuinely

happily married there is not a better

life yeah

there really is not a better life and

this is a part of that is being able to

lift your spouse up lift your husband up

and to know that it does not make you

weak if you say my husband is the best

thing since sliced bread it builds him

up but it also builds you up as well

it’s almost like you call the hero out

of him yes you do if he knows that you

believe that he’s your hero and that you

count on he was your hero and that you

need him even though you know you could

do it yourself ha ha ha you’re sent to

him I need you and you let him yeah in a

place of need and that’s necessity in

your life yeah then it’s like they rise

to the occasion every single time every

single time it’s okay so the first

probably the number one you think thing

you think that helps to solidify happy

marriage is mutual respect but even a

step beyond that making sure that you

are building in to and sowing into the

life of your spouse absolutely so and

that’s a part of that mutual respect is

in there but also when I would ask the

couples what is the number one thing it

almost every single time it was mutual

respect but then every now and again

there would be another one that would

come up but they would be

interchangeable okay the second one was

trust so every couple would either say

mutual respect and then trust or they

would say trust and then mutual respect

and the reason why that plays a role is

is when you are building up your spouse

going back to this because it’s really

important when you’re building up your

spouse and when you’re creating this

environment that allows for your spouse

to be able to share anything with you

then you are creating this sanctuary in

your home where they don’t want to be

anywhere else that is where they feel

the safest and for so many that are

unhappy it’s because they haven’t

created a safe place for their spouse

and men need a safe place if they don’t

have it in you they will find it in a

cave somewhere so an emotional cave any

motion that they will run to they will

run to you instead of

okay but what if you can’t trust your

spouse well that’s what what if what if

he has done enough thing yes that you’re

in a position where honestly you don’t

trust or maybe it’s the flip side that

maybe it hasn’t been physical infidelity

on your part or anything but it’s maybe

that you’ve talked so much to your

girlfriends or others about things that

your husband thought were private your

marriage even though to you it’s it’s

not a big deal what you’re talking about

you just but to him he feels violated

yeah so now he doesn’t trust so if

you’re in a position of distrust right

now in your relationship how do you even

begin this path toward trust what you’re

saying is the number two most most

important thing that you need to even

begin to be happy yeah well it depends

on how how deep that wound is so if it’s

something where your spouse has said

something to you and you made the

mistake of repeating it to someone else

and it came back to them and that broke

that that trust between you well that’s

something you can work out by just being

trustworthy from that point on until

they know okay so I can trust again and

that could take time that could take

years

you made that bed now you’re going to

lie in it you’re going to have to be

consistent right if the if the bro if

the broken bond was through infidelity

or something of that nature

this book isn’t going to help you

counseling mm-hmm ain’t none wrong with

counts there is nothing wrong with count

yeah it’s like you know you have a car

well you take it in to get the oil chaps

every on it you don’t have to wait until

it completely breaks down there’s a

consistent place that you take it to

keep it functioning well absolutely we

can do that with our marriages as well

without shame we absolutely can the

thing that is interesting about this

particular book and I think what makes

it very different from most marriage

books is for most marriage books they’re

trying to help you to go from broken to

whole and I looked at all the books and

I said but what what about for those who

have a good marriage or an OK marriage

and they just want to take it from good

to great or what about those who are

single hello they that they met him yet

or they have been him they’re soon to be

married I think this is so wise yes I

mean don’t you wish that there are a

whole lot of things people should have

told us when we were single yes so that

we could have been prepared to be to

live wisely when we were married you’ve

been married how long 12 years you’ve

been married for 12 years and

I want to I want you to tell us because

you begin to talk about a few moments

ago about this issue of when there is a

hurdle to get over a challenge to get

over not pointing swords at each other

yeah not going to our own quarters but

coming together and then facing the

challenge head-on together absolutely

there has been a huge challenge in your

marriage that the two of you have had to

face head-on tell us yeah well we were

talking about this earlier 12 years in

we don’t have children and it’s not

because we don’t want them and so it has

been a journey of discovering okay why

don’t we have children and there

actually is a physical problem so for so

many people they go oh just stop

thinking about it and you’ll get

pregnant okay well that works for some

for others the doctors will be very

clear that’s not gonna work for you we

fall into that latter category and so

it’s been the the trials of of that

process yeah but here’s the thing

because I’ve met a lot of women that

have also gone through infertility

challenges and now I want to say that

we’re maybe about to go through our

fifth cycle of this right and I would

say the biggest difference I see between

those who are able to remain happily

married through it and those who are not

because the divorce rate is higher when

infidelity is involved infertility is

involved that the thing that I see that

is the largest difference is that for my

husband and me we did not look at this

and say we need children to be happy we

had always decided that we would be

happy with our family of two so when

people say I want to go home and see my

family

I if I’m traveling it I’m going home to

see my family oh how many kids do you

have my husband mm-hmm we’re happy with

our family of two but how surely you had

to get your heart to that place Vaughn

because as for a woman there is nothing

that can be more emotionally crippling

than this longing inside of a woman that

desires to have children and is

struggling through that so surely this

is not something that you’re able to

just kind of roll out of the bed and

decide to be happy about even though I

know it’s a constant choice yeah but

surely this has been a difficult journey

for you how do you have to practically

continue down the road to happiness yeah

despite the fact that things haven’t

turned out you know the way that you’d

like them to up to this point yeah I

think my desire for God’s will in my

life is greater than my desire for what

other people say is important for

or even more important than your own

than my size so if he wanted us to have

children we’ve done every step believe

you me we don’t have any problems in the

bedroom we’ve done every step there is

and if the Lord wanted us to have kids

we’d have kids we do not have kids

that’s his call and my mom’s got I

absolutely trust my line it’s and and we

believe that if if we are to have

children it just means it up until this

point it wasn’t meant to be so I’ll give

you a for instance we went through the

process of adopting mmm we still don’t

have a child so we went through the

process of a of a closed adoption and

for those who don’t know the way that

this process works is you have a middle

a middle man if you will that has a mom

and for whatever reason whether it’s the

courts or anything else that mother

cannot raise that child and so we we’re

looking to adopt and this particular mom

she already had three children all three

were being raised by her mother she was

young this was the fourth she was

pregnant and so we went through the

entire process and you pay for that

person to live for the entire nine

months that they are pregnant but until

the moment that that child is in your

hands and papers are signed and then

there is a three-day waiting period yeah

just in case she changes just in case

she changes her mind so later on pins

and needles for months and days and we

have gone into the carpet store rolled

around on the carpet oh this will be

perfect for the baby we have done the

baby room there is a crib that is in

there there’s a rocking chair that is in

there the entire room is done we do not

have a child and it was interesting

because for I think so many that’s a

really that’s a moment that couples can

begin fighting they can begin arguing it

can become this really big deal and we

looked at each other and we just kind of

fight the Martina McBride song God’s

will yeah do you know that song I love

that song we just looked at each other

and said it clearly isn’t the time and

we moved on

and so it’s a choice it is happiness as

a choice

it is a moment-by-moment decision that

you make every single day in every

situation in every scenario it is a

decision that you have to me and I want

you to hear her clearly she’s not making

light of the tragedies that could happen

in your life or in your marriage because

there are many things that really can

wipe you out emotionally and yet no

matter what the scenario is it’s a

choice you still have to choose how am I

going to react to what has happened to

me how am I going to respond what kind

of path am I going to walk down and and

and what is the lesson that there is to

be learned in it through every test

there is a lesson we don’t just get

tests for the sake of being tested so

what is the lesson to be learned and for

us we look at every single test and go

okay so this is a test but the thing is

we haven’t stopped trying yeah and so

Thursday so walking down that path we’re

still walking down that path but in the

interim we’re we go check we’re going to

be happy we’re going to enjoy being

married and we’re going to enjoy our

time together that’s good well there’s

so much more so much more that you could

learn and I could learn of course about

what it means to be happy but in the

meanwhile you can join the happy Wives

Club you should and you need to get your

hands on this book because it really is

blessing a lot a lot of people and I

know really inspiring people towards

happiness in their relationships so that

we can be a good commercial for marriage

you know commercial thing is we need to

we have to be so you know you didn’t

mention something a minute ago that

we’re going to get to in part two and

you mentioned just the good things

happening in the bedroom I don’t want to

talk about those exactly but I do know I

do know that somewhere on this list

there has to be something having to do

with the physicality of relationships so

we can’t even begin to walk down that

road right now yes but we will when we

come back this is just part one of a

conversation that we’re going to

continue having in part two but for now

would you please help me to

this incredible woman for joining us

today come on y’all let’s thank fun

Oh