The media rarely displays a happy wife. Turn onto any channel or open any magazine and the portrayal of marriage are heartbreaking. With daunting statistics on divorce and affairs, many have lost hope that they could be once again happily married to the person whom they once said “I do” to! Join us as we hear from Fawn Weaver, an investor, best- selling author, and happily married wife, about her mission to shine a brighter light on this biblical union and how you truly can become part of her Happy Wives Club!

hey there I’m Priscilla thank you so

much for joining me today I’m glad that

you’re here the chat with Priscilla

that’s where you come it’s a place where

we just have chats you know

conversations about things that I hope

will be impactful to you informative

challenging sometimes or just plain old

flat-out fun so today I want you to have

a lot of fun pull up a chair and grab

your favorite hot beverage cozy up and

let’s talk today on the chat with

Priscilla stay tuned

hello also welcome this is the chat with

Priscilla I happen to be Priscilla time

so glad that you’re here I’m welcoming

you into our living room just pull up a

chair relax and enjoy we are actually

continuing a conversation we’ve already

been having we’ve already been talking

in part one of our conversation with

fawn Weaver who is the author of some

incredible books on marriage most

notably the happy Wives Club which is

really just spreading like wildfire all

over the place there are nearly 1

million women that have literally joined

the happy Wives Club you can too happy

Wives Club com this book really is

setting people on fire to realize that

they can be happy in their marriages

that the myth is not true that you once

you get married all the happiness goes

out of the window you can be content

fulfilled satisfied and happy and that

is the message he’s going to continue to

share with us right now in part two of

our conversation would you please all

help me to welcome fawn Weaver back to

the program so glad you’re here ok we

kind of left on a little note Clickbank

arc one yeah we need to talk about this

issue of sexual intimacy because it is

important to any relationship we have

mentors Jerry and I in our life that say

to us every time we get together with

them because they’re they’re real

serious about us having a good marriage

they’re like ok look I don’t care how

good ministry is going I don’t care how

good the kids are they’re going to get

in our business and ask about us and the

two barometers that they always ask us

as to whether or not to determine

whether or not our marriage is doing

well they say are you guys talking if

we’re passing like ships in the night

and we’re about the business of family

who’s going to run this errand who can

go there you know lunch kids all that

they’re like that’s not working

are you having conversations with each

other if we’re not that’s a red flag for

them and then they ask about our sex

life they want to know are you

consistently intimate with each other

because if you are not over time that is

going to erode away at your relationship

so they tell us about the importance of

communication and sexual intimacy yeah

so as you’re traveling around talking

about these happy wife yes

what are you happy lat talking to heavy

guys what did you find out about the

importance of physical intimacy in a

marriage

I’m going to I’m going to take both of

those okay that that your mentors ask

you about and they ended up being two of

the most surprising things to me two of

the most surprising findings the first

was that every country that I went to

when I would sit down with a couple that

was happily married for 25 years or more

one of the things that I noticed they

all had was a daily ritual okay every

single one of them I hope this has to do

with the communication part it does okay

yeah yeah I’m already a doctor it does

it is the communication so every single

one of them and I’ll give you an example

so an Israeli couple for almost 40 years

every night before dinner the hour

before dinner so they would have dinner

at 6:00 p.m. at 5:00 p.m. they would

have Porton appetizers one of them would

make appetizers one would pour the port

and this is something that they did for

decades their kids knew growing up mom

and dad we will see them for dinner at

6:00 p.m. that first portion we’re not

invited to and there was a couple in

South Africa a man like in man yeah yeah

in South Africa there was a couple and

they called it their daily board meeting

every morning while it was still dark

outside the wife wouldn’t wake up she’d

open up all the windows around their

bedroom husband would go downstairs get

two cups of coffee come back up and they

would sit against their headboard and

they would just talk about everything

they have on their plate that day if one

of them will not be home because there’s

a meeting they’re having that

communication so there is never a day

that passes that they were not doing

something together

so I got to I want to say maybe it was

country number seven I think I just left

the Philippines and I think I was in

Australia and I called Keith and I said

babe we need a daily ritual this is a

consistency I mean I’m literally in the

seventh country and every single couple

without exception is had a daily ritual

so they and really what that that’s

saying is that you are prioritizing your

spouse that’s what it means yeah this

hour or yes 15 minutes whatever yeah

this is dedicated to you absolutely I

mean if you think about it in any given

day we have what 1440 minutes if you can

owes that who just knows we have 1400

well I only know this because I was

speaking at a conference and this woman

had a question in the audience and she

was talking about how busy she is and

how she’s this businesswoman her husband

just doesn’t understand and I said

someone pull out a calculator and tell

me how many minutes are in a day

1440 minutes so you’re telling me that

you cannot figure out 30 minutes in that

timeframe to prioritize your marriage

we’ve got bigger issues in your business

hmm and so that is that’s how we we

looked at it and you know my husband and

I live very busy lives but we prioritize

every morning we call it Weaver Coffee

Hour and without exception we’re having

that coffee together and if we are

somewhere else we’re on the phone and

we’re having that time together he’s

having his coffee I’m having my coffee

and so having that daily ritual that’s

that communication you never miss it and

that builds trust so we’re going back to

the trust issue

all right thing we’re going to do it

daily ritual we’re going to do our daily

ritual daily right okay all right the

second thing that was very surprising to

me is when I would sit down with these

couples and I would interview them for

hours do you want to know how many times

sex came up how many times did sex come

up fun one time with all those couples

let me tell you why we’re the men

present in the computational time every

single time let me tell you why is

because when you are taking care of your

marriage outside of the bedroom it takes

care of itself

inside of the bedroom whew

that’s good is the those that have great

sex lives and people always say well you

should you should have that break up to

make up and that that mad sex is the

best sex I was like no no happy sex is

pretty doggone good it is it’s one of

those things when when you’re taking

care of we’re going back to building up

your spouse and in building up each

other and respecting each other so this

is what happens so many get into the

bedroom and all of a sudden they get so

serious it’s like it’s serious and it’s

work and that same laughter that you

have in the kitchen in the living room

that same friendship should come into

the bedroom because we all go through

life’s changes our bodies are changing

our hormones are changing so the thing

that made me go wild yesterday I gotta

tell you that spot man move but today

and then and that is just that’s just

the fact of life but being able to laugh

about those things and having that

friendship to say hey babe you did that

did it for me last week

now I didn’t work yeah listen and being

able to laugh about that and joke about

that but then being able to explore each

other to explore each other’s bodies and

but that is a part of exploring each

other’s minds outside of the bedroom do

you know what this is reminding me of

your mama

haha surviving every bomb I don’t know

if you guys know this but her mother is

a incredible woman named bunny Wilson

and bunny Wilson travel for years

speaking teaching writing books listen

if you are a single woman you need to

read knight in shining armor which her

mother wrote yes three decades ago yeah

no and it’s still and it still sells oh

my goodness it’s a sad about it I read

it in my teen years I believe yeah and

it’s incredible but that’s just one of

many books at your mama liberated

through submission is a mainstay yeah

but she would also write about God is in

the bedroom he has the name of a book

yeah God is in the kitchen Jen that’s

the name of a book God is in the kitchen

in my house by himself talking about how

God is found in all these every aspects

of our life in our marriage and that’s

basically what you’re saying I’ve seen

that when there’s health over here in

these aspects of your relationship then

the sex aspect takes care of it so it

takes care of itself but it isn’t to say

that that means it’s going to be so

perfect all the time you’re going to

have to make those adjust which is where

the communication communication open and

bring having that friendship absolutely

have a friendship well and I think this

is so important because I hope that

nobody’s missing because I’m starting to

just grasp the cyclical nature of what

you’re describing here that when there’s

health on this side yet that it filters

into this side yes one will take care of

the other yes which means that to

concentrate on respect yeah on trust to

really build your spouse up when you’re

doing these things then the other

because because on on one side or the

other for the male of the female one

thing for you might not carry as much

weight as it does for your spouse but if

you’re concentrating at least on that

thing that is a priority to you that you

know is your is a prior to your spouse

yeah but it’s going to automatically

feed into the other one yeah and there

will be health all the way around case

what your describe it is and I’ll tell

you something that I did and I always

get women who go oh my gosh I can’t

believe you did this but it was

worked for me so this was I will tell

you what I did somewhere around

Australia we’re skyping and I said honey

I want to be the best wife that I can be

and I asked him to do something that I

actually recommend that people do it

although I’ve gotten a lot of criticism

for this I asked him on a scale – of 1

to 10 with 10 being the potential wife

that I could be my best self as your

wife

where am I on that scale you know he

want to plead the fifth right now I am

traveling the world interviewing happily

married women I thought I was a really

really really awesome wife and so I just

knew I was getting a really high eight

huh low nine and seven you know seven

snow-packed seven is not bad yet for the

fact that I was a hotel GM in Hilton and

for anyone that goes to a Hilton I’m

like baby Brett seven seven equals zero

so does eight real eight equals zero if

you put an eight on a survey score for

Hilton that pert that hotel just got a

zero and so in my head he said seven I

said if eight equals zero my goodness

like I didn’t even get an eight and so

what I asked him my follow-up question

to that was give me a list of six things

that I could work on to become that 10

no mind you he’s not comparing me to

other people he’s comparing me to me

because his first response was well if I

compare you to this person you’re a

hundred I didn’t ask you to compare me

to that and that could also go the

opposite way I’m gonna pair you somebody

else that they think that their standard

the way they respect their husband here

that can ask them to absolutely and I

said just comparing you to the wife that

I could be at my best self what is that

and we should all want to know that from

our spouse there’s nothing there’s

nothing to me there’s nothing meri kasam

I mean though and they’re just gonna

give you a bad rating no matter how hard

you can see there are a lot of women

there’s been a little bit discouraged

right now because they may not be

married to somebody who’s supportive and

kind and encouraging and what they might

just be married somebody who is

demeaning yeah and wants to be cruel

this isn’t the book for you this in the

book for you counseling what you’re

saying it’s counsel go get the oil yes

yeah so this is a book you’ve got a good

marriage you chose a good mate cuz keep

in mind if we’re here in the United

States we did choose our mate and we had

a choice and so it is that book is for

those who already have a good marriage

at the very least an okay marriage and

they just want to go from good to great

okay so if you are below okay not the

book for you all right well at least you

know exactly who your audience exactly

would it that’s good when we come back

we’re going to take some questions from

some women in the audience that want to

just be prepared some single women that

they want to be prepared but also from

some married women as well that would

like even more great wise counsel from

our friend Vaughn Weaver so we will be

right back in just a few minutes

if you’re feeling discouraged and

defeated if you’re a bit overwhelmed or

maybe even feeling undone if you’re

wondering whether or not your future has

any hope of victory then listen this

Bible study is for you

strongholds are torn down by the Word of

God fortresses are dismantled by the

Word of God when you place faith in

Jesus Christ the righteousness of Christ

is credited to your spiritual bank

account that you are the righteousness

of God in Christ Jesus I invite you to

join me for a lesson in putting on the

full armor of God our lives are going to

be changed yours and mine because we’re

going to learn that we’ve got the

victory in Jesus name

all righty we’ve got some questions here

from our audience that we’re going to be

asking our guests Vaughn Weaver thank

you so much for being up for this

absolutely

some single women that have a couple

questions for us how many of you are

single in our group today how many of

you’re single all right so we have quite

a handful of single women that are

gathering with us today here’s a

question from Lindsay she wants to know

what is the one thing if you could just

boil it down to one what’s the one thing

you wish you were told before you got

married

don’t listen to advice of those who are

not happily married so that’s what you

wish you were told mm-hmm

don’t listen to advice of people who are

not happily married why would you listen

to the advice would you listen to

someone that’s going through bankruptcy

to help you with your finances and so

it’s it’s unfortunately we go back to

that what we were talking about earlier

it’s always those that are negative that

are so loud they’re so vocal they’re the

ones who want to give you advice and

they set you up for failure because you

start looking for stuff that would not

otherwise be there and if you look for

something you will create it oh oh yeah

so do you think then a single woman

should pursue a relationship with a

happy wife for the purpose of asking her

gleaning from her listening to what she

has to say absolutely be in the presence

of those who are happily married

especially happy wives and just hang out

with them don’t ask them a bunch of

questions just go just go and have

coffee yeah because those who are it’s

so interesting those who are happily

married the moment you sit with them and

you give them the ability to talk about

it it’s like turning on a water spigot

you cannot shut it off because no one

ever cares everyone wants to know about

the drama yeah and so when you give them

the opportunity to just say they’re glad

they’re glad they’re they’re grateful

life is good this woman says what advice

would you give to a single woman in

their mid-30s who has a desire to be

married but honestly there are no men

around who will pursue you and she has

underlined pursued now that they’re not

there they’re just not pursuing yeah

well here’s a good news if you’re not

looking for men you’re looking for a man

and

if you are looking for the one that the

one is already chosen for you so all you

have to do is focus on creating the life

of your dreams while you’re single and

allow for that to come to you well there

you go

in what ways can a new wife start out on

the right track right away with her

marriage and build happy elements into

her marriage thank you for this question

Bessie where’s Bessie are you back there

somewhere there she is back there that’s

what she wants to know yeah and what

ways can you start off right off the bat

yeah there was a there’s a real fiery

wife that I that I interviewed in Cape

Town and she was just I mean she was I

want to say 68 and she gave me a run for

my money hiking hiking hiking she had so

much energy and one of the things that

she said is is that if a woman begins

talking negatively about her husband

around her she will not go out with that

woman again and so what happens with

those who are newly married if you sit

if you put together say seven women

around a table you’re going to have six

of them that are complaining about their

spouses or their marriage or something

that they did wrong because that’s kind

of makes you feel in yeah but then

you’re going to have that one person who

is silent it’s usually the happy wife

and it’s because that happy wife doesn’t

want to seem as though they’re being

braggadocious or seem as though they’re

haughty or they’re higher than right

yeah and I get it the problem with that

is is we’re going back to the comment

you made earlier then the only people

that are ever talking are those six and

so if you are that one remove yourself

from that environment it’s okay to keep

it at a distance but if you really truly

want to create a marriage that is built

to last a lifetime and to be happily

married then you want to surround

yourself birds of a feather flock

together yeah what is the most important

thing for single women to look for in a

man if this is going to be a happy

marriage what is the trait that I’m kind

of got to keep my eye out for and that

guy that I’m dating hey so did we go

back to that first thing right how much

does he respect you and what does that

look like what does respect look like to

a woman respect looks different

every single person and so Jerry’s

respect for you is going to look

different from my husband from Keith’s

respect for me so the question for a

person that is single is is how much do

you respect yourself and is that person

respecting you in the manner in which

you respect yourself if you truly

respect yourself so there’s no real

barometer for that what is respect look

like the question is what does it look

like for you and but you should know

whether or not you’re being respected I

think we all get that sense we all know

whether or not we’re being respected and

if a man is not truly respecting you and

it’s you know yeah I was going to make a

joke about the cow in the milk but

that’s a whole other story okay tell us

about a hurdle though you’ve gone

through with this issue of respecting

your own marriage yeah is there

something you’ve had to cut it okay yeah

yeah yeah I want to sell as well because

I’m such a strong you arson

I left home when I was 15 so that’s a

whole other story and it’s actually in

the book but I left home really early

before my 16th birthday and I went

through a really tough period of time

and it’s so interesting because Here I

am interviewing all of these happily

married women I’m happily married I love

my life and then you get to the center

of the book and it’s like and then I

dropped out of school I left when I was

fifteen I tried to commit suicide twice

and everyone just kind of goes ah what

just happened here it’s everything

that’s in my life right now is a choice

it’s not because it began that way it’s

not because it’s always been that way

and so there were certain parts of me

still are that I have to battle because

there are certain habits that recreate

so when I go into a boardroom and I’m

running a board meeting I have to make

sure that when I get home I don’t try to

run my house like that’s a board meeting

you know what I think that’s a that’s

something that women need to hear that

it’s okay to be strong but there’s a

place for that strength in the way it is

demonstrated and where and when it’s

demonstrated place for a time and a

place for everything in the home is not

that place so did you struggle with that

did you find home you’re boring staffs

it’s a little how’d that go over with it

he’d look at me and go and so we are

what

here and and and I would immediately

know because the thing is is that I

respect him so much he really truly is

the most amazing person I have ever met

in my life is Keith wait see I know

right he made a picture and we need

someone put up a picture yes okay behind

one piece okay I’m actually on happy

Wives Club I have our 10-year vow

renewal and there’s a picture of him and

he’s he’s just a cutie pie Oh Lord he

really is so cute but he is just I have

such an amount of respect for him and so

anytime I would even feel myself lacking

that I immediately put it in check and

have to remind myself okay I may run the

show in the boardroom but when I come

home we’re equals that’s not gonna

that’s not gonna fly and it should not

we are team mates and that needs to come

through and everything I do and

everything I say but is that does that

come natural to me oh my gosh no no hmm

so do you have to sometimes hear

yourself and and then sort of backtrack

it out okay back it out yeah I have

heard often that the way to make sure

that your marriage is solid and strong

is to really make it your business to

study your spouse like go to the College

of your spouse in other words become a

student about what they like don’t like

what makes them feel respected and loved

and what does not

yeah do you think that’s absolutely you

should have a PhD in your husband no

doubt about it and husband should have a

PhD on their wives absolutely because

you should know their language and by

the way it’s a foreign language so that

four-year prerequisite in my school of

the foreign language it’s a foreign

language we we come from two very

different backgrounds my husband I

especially come from two completely

different worlds and so when you’re

talking the way you’re communicating you

have to understand their language and

you’re not going to just get that

immediately unless you marry someone

who’s just like you but most people

don’t ya know Jerry and I are so

different it’s a comical yeah comma

comma where you want to look at guys and

say now what

huh yeah and so that really is the way

it is okay so what does a woman do you

know she’s been married for a few

decades mm-hmm

hadn’t been happy hmm she’s just reading

this book she’s just hearing this idea

yeah that you can actually be happy yeah

in marriage and honestly just kind of

settled into the RET of unhappiness

because it’s the way it is it’s the way

things have always been yeah what is

even the first step yeah

toward walking toward happiness in her

marriage in her life so there’s an

interesting thing so that the happy

Wives Club there’s a Facebook page and

there is close to a million women just

on the Facebook page that engage on any

given day there’s thousands of them

talking to each other I’ll post a

question and say what’s your number one

piece of advice for newlyweds and all

that and they’ll just give all of their

different advice and it’s it’s amazing

to see but one of the things I do is

every day is I post an encouraging

graphic and I do this twice a day and I

had someone who sent me a letter an

email and we don’t send snail mail

anymore but she sent me an email and and

she was explaining to me her situation

she had been married for close to thirty

years they were losing their home her

husband hadn’t worked in a year it he

had been laid off hadn’t been able to

get another job and then just been

non-stop arguing so they went to therapy

and the therapist told her to write down

every single negative thing that comes

to her mind about her husband just write

it down don’t give it to him just write

it down so that she could get it out and

she said the same day that I began the

list I came across your page and I

realized that the same amount of time it

would take for me to write down

everything that was terrible about him I

could think about the last 30 years and

write down everything he’s done right

and so I took the list the therapist

told me I threw it in the trash and I

began my list of everything that’s great

about it and it was so awesome because

she ended because she said we’re still

in the process of losing our house he

still hasn’t found a job but I tell you

what we did find as we found each other

again and that’s all that matters mmm

it’s true and I think whatever we focus

on gross

yes whatever you put your attention you

is going to get bigger and bigger in

your mind and your heart and it’s going

to block out the view of whatever else

you’ve left behind so you get to choose

what’s going to grow

what’s going to grow absent so focus on

the good focus on the good and then

remember you had a choice and you chose

your spouse so what was the reason that

you out of all of the people in the

world that you could have chosen from

why did you choose them so if you start

there and put a pin in it yeah and then

kind of work your way backwards out of

this situation because every situation

is temporary the only permanent thing in

your temporary world is your marriage

because that’s the one thing that is

until the end of time you know what it

takes us back to this very important

principle where honestly no matter what

interview I’m doing or what we’re

talking about a lot of times they all

end up at this important issue of

gratitude being grateful yes for what is

good in the situation and finding it

meaning my mind for it dig for look

discover yes look for it yes because yes

sometimes the negative is going to be

louder it’s going to be easier to spot

it’s going to strike a chord with you

that sits with you at night and during

the day so you’ve got to be purposeful

and I have to be purposeful about

spotting the good in our spouse and then

highlighting it and not only

highlighting it to ourselves but

highlighting it to them make sure that

they know what you appreciate about them

because most of the time your spots in

mind they’re going to rise to whatever

standard they hear us call out over

their lives and so speak well of your

spouse it’s going to make sure that you

are a happy wife I love the fact that

you’ve spent so much time with us and

that you have written this book because

this book really can begin to transform

your destiny your life your marriage

your mind your heart put a smile on your

face so you not have a copy of this book

you want you’re going to want to grab

one as soon as you possibly can it’s

going to really make a difference in

your existence would you guys please

help me to thank our friend Fon

you