When Jackie was in the first grade, she found herself dealing with gender confusion and wishing that she could be a boy. At age 17, she began pursuing her attraction to women. A few years later, she felt that God was convicting her of her current lifestyle. Jackie is now married to a wonderful man and has a new baby! Join us as we hear from Jackie about how Christ, the church and fellow Christians helped her as she walked away from a homosexual lifestyle.
hey there welcome to the program today
I’m really glad that you’re here I want
you to just get comfortable and hang out
with me for a little while as we talk
about something that I really do think
it’s important that we have a
conversation about around here you know
the topic that we’re going to address
tonight most of the time we’ve just hear
arguments about it and tick antagonism
toward it and we’re just all trying to
find our way and you might have someone
in your life personally that is dealing
with this issue so I think it’s
important for us to get as much
information as we can so we can be as
sensitive as we can
I’ll tell you all the details about it
in just second stay tuned
yeah I am Priscilla welcome I hope that
you have already seen part one of the
program that we are in today this is
part two of a conversation we’re having
with a woman who I just like her I like
her name is Jackie Hill peri and she has
been so authentic with us and so
vulnerable and open and in doing so I
know that she’s helping a lot of people
she sure is helping me so I wonder if
you guys would help me to welcome her
back to the program again today thank
you so much I’m glad that you’re here
we were talking about your inclination
toward an attraction for women through
and gender confusion and this started
not when you were you know 20 you can
remember being a kid oh four and five
years old and having these these
feelings news I want to ask you about
the gender confusion just a little bit
was there ever time were you and you may
have been too young to get to this point
before the Lord kind of met you and and
changed the trajectory of your life but
did you ever think I might want to
actually undergo whatever is necessary
to live as a man no and I think I think
I was young but also that type of thing
wasn’t popular you know like I didn’t
see that on TV or like like we do now
because this is I was four and like 95
and so I was like Oh 95 it was it was so
far along yeah I’m sorry but um y’all
just made me feel like oh you’re not
though okay this is all right thank you
yeah so no I didn’t I think I think that
comes with the knowledge of that being
actually possible you know so do you
think that just the knowledge of it is
what separates those who might walk down
that path from those who just choose to
be a star possibly and then that’s not
popular in the black community the black
gay community you don’t see a lot of
that is just I’m a stud or trans but not
trans in the sense of I’ve changed I’ve
had sex changes you just kind of put on
the clothes and the demeanor and that’s
it I think it’s a lot more dominant and
the predominant in the
Cajun community and I could be wrong but
that’s what it seems that’s what it
appears to be yeah so you 17 18 years
old you have a girlfriend
yep a lot a few a few yes your mom finds
out uh-huh in a very you just were set
up that day in the car yeah so your mom
finds out and how did your relationship
dynamics change after that it changed a
lot and it wasn’t just the homosexuality
thing it was like I was doing that and I
was just super rebellious and so so
wasn’t just that it was an old teenage
thing happening yeah it was just I was
just rude I was just ignorant
I just got high all the time was getting
arrested and so it’s like whoo I could
tell my mom was like who is this person
I really don’t know who this person is
and so she says we just didn’t like each
other honestly it’s just we were walk in
the house and not speak to each other
and then it got weird because now all of
my friends that may not even be my
girlfriends are suspect it’s like yeah
y’all can go in the room they can’t be
there when I’m not there like if y’all
on the couch I need to sit on that couch
in that couch it was just it got like
it’s like but I know her sister grade
school was like I don’t know that though
yeah it was just weird
yeah and is it still weird oh it’s
amazing
it’s amazing yeah so there have been a
lot of things that have changed in you
okay go here so people think that just
the if we encourage people if you sell
miss sofa and encourage someone who’s
struggling with this to know that it can
change that they can desire the opposite
sex the Lord can literally change their
desires you Bice by suggesting that
you’re also implying that who they feel
like they just naturally are is just
wrong it is sin it deserves it sounds so
harsh because this is just like you said
it wasn’t like you you chose you just
woke up one day at 20 and decided you
know what I’m going to be gay you’re
saying when you were 4 this is just the
way you were been yeah so for someone
who’s just they’re watching and they’re
thinking I don’t even know I don’t even
know what
be like to be attracted to a man yeah to
suggest to them that their desire can be
changed is also implying that this is
sin this is wrong and is that what you
feel emphatically that it’s just wrong
it’s not just your lifestyle or the way
you feel yeah it’s just straight-up
wrong it is and and and that’s hard when
it seems so natural but I always like to
use this example of children it’s like
when you see a two three four year old
they are just some bad people with you
know like they’re rude sometimes and
they’re sweet and every day and their
self you don’t have to train them how to
lie they just lie and that’s who they
are like it’s saying right but it’s like
as parents and as adults
we’re called to train them into
discipline though this is how you feel
right now that is not how you behave and
I think when we look at God the Father
it’s like no that’s how you feel that is
not how you behave this is another way
there is another way if you just trust
me and so just because it may feel
natural doesn’t mean that it’s honorable
and I think that’s what needs to be
understood it’s just this whole and
original sin thing and so we can get
that then we don’t understand why we do
the things we do nor can we understand
the regeneration and salvation needs to
happen for you to change do you think
that you can minimize this this in
eighth feeling this an eighth need that
every human being has to be in
relationship with another human being do
you think in a sense where you’re
minimizing it when you compare it to
telling a lie or being selfish or
something that is yeah it’s a dangerous
it’s a dangerous way to live your life
but it’s not this innate human desire
that we all have to live with another
person because for some person you might
be saying okay listen this is wrong
homosexuality is wrong yeah so if you
choose not to live a homosexual
lifestyle you are also choosing possibly
to remain single for the rest of your
life yeah you’re making that choice that
is a hard yeah it is and I know that
everyone’s story will not be mine I
think I was called to marriage and so
God just empowered me to love
my husband into love Preston but I know
plenty of believers that will come out
of the homosexual lifestyle that are
called to a life of celibacy and are
gifted with the gift of singleness and
they are content in that but I think we
don’t preach about singleness enough
where we see like the end-all be-all is
not marriage because it’s not
relationship I think the fact that we
won’t have a marriage in heaven is a big
thing but we will see and know God and
so I think though it may be hard to
think about man you’re telling me I
can’t love someone intimately for the
rest of my life if that is the cross
that you have to bear you have to reckon
with is God worth it if he’s worth it
then be willing to submit to that but
God is also faithful he’ll impart he’ll
empower you to do things at our heart he
really will he’ll empower you to do
things that you deem impossible exactly
hard but impossible
exactly which would have been your case
yeah because you could have it when you
were 18 19 could you have ever thought
that you would ever be not only just in
a relationship with a man but married to
a man I wanted to be but I didn’t think
I would like it I just I wanted to be
married theoretically but I didn’t think
it would be something I enjoy because
you didn’t even like male company much
or it wasn’t just because of the sexual
attraction like a nail niss so see
that’s that’s kind of weird to me
because you’re saying that in becoming a
stud you wanted to kind of carry that
maleness in your person but you didn’t
want you didn’t like it inside fusing
other ladies it can’t help us to get
away no again it’s because it’s like you
become which your which you don’t like I
don’t even explain it I should write
about it and figure it out myself so I
could explain it being out first before
you write about okay okay I’ll write it
out processing myself
yeah that’s not interesting but beards
their stomachs were hard big hands hairy
I just didn’t like it it wasn’t like
that
that’s gross to me I like the softness
and of women um no I like it I still
don’t like too much airiness but
precedents are here so we good
oh damn it’s the best the best okay yeah
okay so the Lord changed your desires
okay
so you’ve just clearly said just a
second ago that you are not suggesting
that everyone who is honest with about
their life and brings it to the foot of
the cross that God is going to
necessarily give them the desire for the
opposite set no they’re saying that the
answer might be that he gives you the
gift of celibacy and singleness it makes
you content that God will give you a
desire for him and in you living for him
he may will that you be with the
opposite sex or he may call you to just
live in community with other believers
and just live your life unto his glory
it’s possible would you have been
willing to do that it with the help of
the Holy Ghost yes but just me no like I
was like I don’t want I didn’t want to I
want it to be which I wanted children I
wanted to be with someone and I think
most people do that’s why it is
difficult mm-hmm and you have a baby
yes honeymoon baby I’m sorry what
happened honeymoon baby literally my
entire marriage I was pregnant whole
first year the whole first year so you
got pregnant on your honeymoon yep on a
cruise we were just set up to fail when
you’re gonna cruise you would same room
for like six days I mean you’re supposed
he’s your husband you’re supposed to be
in the same room I know but it just and
you set up and then you’ve been saved
and you ain’t did nothing with nobody so
just it was a beautiful time well you
know it really is great that you’re
saying yet it was a beautiful time if
you loved it it would disgust you I did
it yeah so it was my the thing with
Preston though that’s my husband it was
not easy it wasn’t oh my gosh I like
this dude it really wasn’t that I mean
you’re courting you mean when you met
and/or you mean the marriage the
marriage the courtship that was our
courtship and our marriage was difficult
because it was unearthing all of these
issues that I had towards men and so I
just was really mean
for a long time and distrusting and
unwilling to be vulnerable but he
continued to pursue me did he know all
of this stuff and how you don’t seem
like you hold much I don’t
maybe you gonna take me for what I am
yeah we just so it’s like first date you
just the first time we met because I was
doing poetry in LA and he was doing
poetry and my poem was called my life as
a stud which was my testimony his poem
was about him sleeping with every women
that could every woman that could
breathe and so the first time we met was
us hearing our testimonies and so that
just became the root of our friendship
was just this realness and this honesty
is that dude is cool and that girl is
cool and and and so you’re the poem that
he heard did it did your poem end in a
way that showed that you had left that
lifestyle okay so he knew that that’s
not where you were at him yeah that’s
where you had been yeah and he didn’t
care no to him it
he said that attracted him so much
because he loves authentic people and he
was like this girl has our dasa t to be
on this stage talking about all this I
want to meet her I want to know her and
then when I when he introduced himself
to me I corrected him on his poem and he
was like people don’t usually come at me
like that when they first meet me so
that just was like I like her yeah she’s
not she’s not fake so and when you found
out that he was interested in you
romantically what was your first kind of
physical response to that were you kind
of like our story is because we were
friends for three years okay just plain
old friends but when two weeks prior to
him admitting how he felt I had liked
him for a year an entire year I just
started to have these affections and
attractions for him and I was just like
Lord and my just bored and my thirsty do
I just want somebody to text I don’t so
you were confused it was shocking you
that you were feeling this yeah yeah I
just cuz I just thought I don’t like him
I not guarding my heart this is this is
the first time I had liked other guys
but I didn’t like them like I liked
Preston because when I started to like
Preston it was I started to like him
because he was reversing everything I
had beliefs
about men he was a complete opposite he
was honest he was caring he was
consistent he loved Jesus he paid
attention to details like I didn’t I
didn’t think men were like that
I thought only women were like that and
so that kind of started it and then so
it came to a point where I was like you
know what Lord I never let him know I
liked them because I just didn’t feel
like that was my place to to flirt with
him or something like that and so I took
it to the Lord I said Lord if it’s meant
for me and Preston to be together you
have to do that let your will be done
but if it’s your will for us to just be
friends help me handle my affections
rightly so I treat him like a brother
and not a crush two weeks later he
called me like you know what I don’t
even know if you like me but I just feel
like I’m supposed to pursue you do you
like me
and I was like yeah I do he was like oh
I didn’t even know and that he was like
that built so much respect for me
because he was like all of the women
that liked him always let him know and
so it never put him in a position where
he could lead and pursue mom and so it’s
just really weird yeah yes it’s a good
story though it’s a good story we’re
going to talk more about it because I do
want to know you know real honestly how
if marriage is hard just because of the
desires that you have had for your whole
life up until now yeah and what that
looks like for someone who’s making the
choice the courageous choice that you’ve
made to follow and honor God with your
life but in reality what that sometimes
might look like so we’re going to talk
more about that we’ll be back in just a
couple minutes
hi I’m Priscilla and I wanted to take an
opportunity to invite you personally to
join me for a seventh session Bible
study on the armor of God will dive
deeply into what it means to be equipped
to stand firm against the schemes of the
enemy he is very real and he has been so
strategic and targeted in his attacks
against us why shouldn’t we be equally
strategic than targeted in standing firm
against him and you and I have an
opportunity to suit up to put on some
armor that works and to go to battle and
to see victory declared in our lives and
the lives of those people that we have
this Bible study will be one that will
change our lives forever and will help
us to walk in victory so plan to join me
won’t in the armor of God
welcome back rhaggy was still joining us
and jackie still here she’s still
filling us in on all the details that we
need to know about her life but then the
broader issue – which is so important
for us to deal with I want to talk about
marriage yes you’re married now for a
year you have a sweet little baby boy
girl baby girl what is her name
Eden grace Eden grip that’s a good name
in that a good name
Eden grace loved that so much and is she
bubbly what’s her personality is she
kind of ah I think she’s like me yeah
she can be real fun and then just real
just like ratchet I don’t know that’s
where yet okay now more time but just
know we’re not gonna say she’s fickle is
the work what do you mean just I don’t
want you to hold me this way I want you
to hold me this way I don’t want to lay
down that way I want to lay on my side
it’s like a little picky yeah yeah I’m
the same way oh are you saying she’s
sleeping through the night yet for two
days she did this morning she woke up at
2:30 and 6:30 yeah
so you’re tired a lot yeah I gotta sleep
tonight though good and for you tell us
about marriage and what that looks like
for you in terms of dealing with the
reality mm-hmm
that your desires were your desires in
some way they probably I mean they
didn’t just magically leave it’s
something you’re having to walk out in
obedience to the Lord is he sanctifies
you by a spirit but still you’re living
in your body yeah I mean so are there
are there you know tough days where
you’re having to make conscious choices
you know that are antagonistic towards
the way you’re feeling rarely and that’s
because I think as I’ve been walking
with the Lord almost eight years now the
first few years were very difficult it
was a lot of just constant choosing and
fleeing and just turning my head and
thinking on things that are good and
pure but I think as I just got
discipleship and holistic discipleship
dealing with greed and laziness and
stewardship and sorry just about the
homosexuality that was about all of it
all of it and
when I just learned gospel centricity
and learning how to just flow into that
in all areas of my life it temptations
became less burdensome that’s a good way
and also less what’s the word
discouraging because I came to a place
where I saw that temptations are a
normal part of the Christian experience
because I in the black church well I
won’t say black church but in the church
sometimes deliverance is communicated as
the absence of a temptation right so
it’s like God is gonna save you and you
just and it’s like that’s not true yeah
um in Christ I will have temptations and
that is completely and absolutely normal
but I don’t have to be discouraged by
them because God has promised to help me
that is exactly right and so with that
it’s like if I do see a woman that’s
beautiful it’s like yes she’s beautiful
but I choose not to look at her and I’m
not fazed by it it is still a conscious
choice though that you have to make yes
yeah and I think that’s so I think
that’s so important that you’re
communicating that because I think we
feel like in any any sort of addiction
any you know whether it’s drug or or
alcoholism we think there is a moment
this magic moment when something’s
supposed to happen and then we’ll never
be attracted to that again and you’re
saying that’s not necessarily the case
it is that I know I’m free in Christ but
now I’m having to consciously choose to
walk that way yeah and and and it
becomes possible when you’re just
feeding yourself with God and the sense
of like if I understand and know that
God is better then these things will be
though they’re attractive they will be
less attractive they won’t overpower me
or control me it’s just like yeah let me
think of the consequences look at God is
better God is good that’s sin that’s
just not great I don’t want to open this
door again i’ma turn imma flee do you
think back on your teenage years and
worry about your daughter yes I’m
terrified for her that’s all of us
though you know any of us that have kids
when I watch CNN I just don’t I don’t
like it
honestly because I feel like as a mother
it is going to be my job to convince her
that all that she sees is not reality
because it’s being promoted as if it is
trans
homosexuality and same-sex marriage and
all of this is promote like this is
normal I have to say Eden it’s not
normal it’s not okay though you see it
though they look happy you choose God
and that’s just going to be my job for
the rest of my life I think when are you
going to do that do you do you feel like
the younger the better in other words I
feel like there there are some
conversations when my kid was four and
I’m looking at my little teeny
four-year-old and I’m thinking do I
really want to have this conversation
with my four year you really can I wait
till they’re 12 you know maybe a little
bit later in life but you’re saying it’s
at four and five when really it would
have been beneficial to you for someone
to sit down and have this conversation
with you children are smarter than we
give that we know where kids are smart
you know and like how do you know that
you’re not going to open up a door
that’s not even open in their mind you
write a book about it cuz I don’t know
you should you read a book no oh you
should only four months sorry I don’t
know do you think that you’re going to
talk to her I don’t know I’m really
gonna seek counsel cuz I have no I’m
still learning about teething so I don’t
potty training is next on your list
yeah I’m Kendra but I don’t know but I
did want to add something about the
marriage part I think one of the things
that helped me become open with Preston
it wasn’t when I’ve started to love him
it wasn’t that I’m loving a man it was I
was loving Preston it’s hard to explain
it but it was just all that he was I
loved him and so that involved his
maleness and in say that again say that
again that’s really good all that he was
I loved and enjoyed and which involved
his maleness so I got past the beard
because I love Preston you know I got
past you you have to get asked some
things still do you have to kind of look
past some of that maleness that’s still
kind of my thing the
how do I say this without being
insulting he’s he leaves stuff out a lot
or doesn’t like wanna wash dishes just
look stuff that women when they come
over my house they just naturally do I
wash them dishes while you Jackie and I
like he doesn’t his petty things like
that that are just like he forgets
everything yet he knows all of the
sports stats and so it’s just like oh
we’re all in the same boat yeah it’s all
yeah how did you forget that you’re
supposed to make appointment but you you
know when Michael Jordan got every
single ring and where it was and at what
time you know stuff like that is a
little physically physically no not
anymore not anymore play that something
you had heard all you had to get over
initially when we would hug I wasn’t
used to a man I wasn’t used to somebody
holding my waist because I did that and
so it made me feel like feminine and so
that was just really weird that it’s
like oh I have to go above your
shoulders okay like it was as you had to
learn yeah either reteach my studied the
feminine be okay with being feminine are
you still trying to work on being okay
with being feminine I think I’m myself
now cuz I don’t wear dresses and purses
and nails and I thought I had to to be a
woman but that’s not true like what
makes you a woman that I served my
husband that I served my child that I
submit to church leadership that I’m
hospitable to guests that I love Jesus
that I I’m disciple another women and
trying to teach them how to be
homemakers and be okay with that trying
to practice meekness which is very
difficult for me because I’m not meek
everything that Titus 2 says not should
be praised
everything that Titus who says I should
be me seeking that out and trying to get
older women around me to help me grow in
that that’s what makes me a woman so ok
you your spare time when you’re not
teething and potty training and doing
those sorts of things you write poetry
yes and I want you to share one of those
with us the hole if they don’t mind sure
come on
you can stand you can sit whatever we
want to hear it I can’t remember the
first line Jesus um okay can I google it
y’all just edit it out yeah good yeah
maybe that person’s yeah Google the
first sentence we’ll edit it out goodbye
we want to hear it that’s why I love
YouTube you know yeah oh you’re gonna
you’re going to YouTube yourself so you
can hear the first yeah the first
sentence that’s all I need and I’m good
thank you for your patience guys oh
you’re welcome no worries don’t worry at
all I hope you can get a connection to
also tell
there we go I got it you got it tell me
those three words I literally just
needed that do you want me to look
somewhere um
just me them everybody okay yeah I find
it funny that women women that are
children of the Most High continued to
fall for lowlifes chasing after men that
have yet to find the maturity as quick
as they can find to help me please help
me understand I stand on the sidelines
watching my sisters who have hearts like
pillows with an addiction to
relationships and allergic reactions to
loneliness turn men into cocaine dying
to be strung out on love even if
separation from their true rock as a
result his hug could be their rehab his
wisdom would rescue them from relapses
but this Winehouse mentality got him so
drunk on denial that they could care
less that God actually knows what’s best
so they push them to the side to let the
moscato flesh make the decisions for
them women your impatience with
sovereignty has carved your eyesight
into an Eden of illusions seeing as
opposed to godliness in any and every
atom that walks past you blinded to the
worm swimming through his fruit the lust
preying how to go seeking his prey is a
symphony of pride resting in his swag of
his walk and like your heavenly dad and
run a man that’s get to learn how to be
led by the Spirit of God can I lead you
to anywhere but himself which would be
cool if yo boo was the source of all
comfort a stronghold of healing gonna
galaxy of peace with the power to turn
dust into us in a split second but only
God has that written on his resume at
how many of us have fired the same God
for a counterfeit Savior disregarding
the cross that was on God’s back to fix
your eyes on their wooden crucifix
hanging from a mere man’s neck so
desperate for a ring of metal to melt
into your hands you forgotten about the
nails crawling with raft that was
smashed into his Jesus will crown mangle
into thorns with our confused queens
have mistaken princes for the king of
Jews he was hung up for you slow hey go
bone dude I’m telling you that if your
search for love has stolen your
reverence for God then you were made a
modern-day bail out of a relationship a
diamond ring into a golden calf a God
out of a man that has to brawl his
breath from someone else I suggest you
steal back your heart for whatever man
that has a sitting on the same
table he plays cards with empty and all
beating with tears go back to the one
who was jealous for you and say here you
can have I apologize for giving
something you created away to someone
you created believing they would do
better with it than you I’m not standing
before you as one let stood face to face
with Satan’s razor blades the graces
with us women he’s working very hard to
distract our gaze of faith off the lover
of our souls so much that we rather
court then gets another judge but I’m
standing before you as one who was
striving to present her loneliness as a
gift to the heel of broken hearts
believing that he will make a Lazarus of
my pain a walking miracle of my past I
am suspending all that the world has
taught me about relationships to truly
believe that everything isn’t found in
men but everything is only found in him
I’m letting this pillow of a heart only
find comfort in Jesus believing that he
sincerely loves me so women when your
imagination tries to tell you that that
God will be your hero remind yourself
that Jesus is the only man that can save
you
50 beautiful thank you
it’s incredible story of surrender and
freedom we are so glad that you joined
us a lot of people are going to be
helped today because of your
authenticity and vulnerability you’re so
grateful for me thanks so much for
joining us we’ll see you next time
you
I absolutely loved listening to this .I would to hear more.