With the popularity of romance novels, and more recently, “50 Shades of Grey”, women’s fictional erotica is becoming more accepted in society. This trend displays dissatisfaction in women today – but where does that come from?
hey there I am so glad you were here at
the chat this is our little living room
arre I’ll pull up our hot lattes and
coffees and sit in your comfy chair and
join us for a chat about something that
hopefully will be impactful to your life
maybe some questions you’ve been asking
other friends of yours or maybe you’ve
just been asking in your own head we
hope to bring some answers to those and
we’re talking about a hot topic actually
we’ve already been talking about it this
is part two and if you missed part one
you have got to tune in because we’re
dealing with Fifty Shades of Grey if
you’ve never seen this book before I bet
you have passed it in your Walmart or
Sam’s Club or Barnes & Noble or you have
friends who’ve been reading it or
talking about it and you’ve been
wondering what in the world is it all
about and why is it such a phenomena and
listen a phenomena it is it has sold
over 40 million copies worldwide it is
one of the fastest selling books of all
time and so we figured we ought to talk
about this book that is addressing women
and their sexuality it really is
impacting women everywhere we need to
figure out what business we need to do
personally and corporately with a book
like this one and so we’re having that
conversation today on the chat you’re
going to want to stay tuned because this
is going to be a hot topic you do not
want to miss
all right if you have got some young
ears nearby this might be the time you
want to screw them into the other room
or just kind of be wise and discerning
about who tunes into this program
because we are talking about sex we’re
talking about women we’re talking about
fulfillment we’re talking about passions
those are the kind of things we are
addressing here and if you know anything
about me you know I don’t really mince a
lot of words so I’m going to try to be
delicate but there going to be some
things that come up that you might want
to make sure that the people around you
are at appropriate ages and seasons of
life to here we’re talking about fifty
Shades of Grey and to help us to do that
and to get a handle on what this is all
about our two wonderful wonderful women
who I know not only from today on this
program but who I’ve known for years and
I’m so glad that they’re bringing their
expertise in the area of sexuality to us
during this program Danna Gresh pure
freedom gorg is where you will find her
she is a woman that helps single women
in particular to get a handle on their
sexuality and then we’ve got Miss Julie
Slattery she’s a clinical psychologist
and a woman who is at authentic intimacy
calm she’s answering questions about how
we can have authentic intimacy she
studied it and she has prepared
wonderful ways to really discuss this
topic with women from different cultures
and different walks of life and even
more importantly the either of those
things y’all what I love about you is
that you are wives who want to make sure
that you have fulfilling marriages that
your husband’s fulfilled but also that
you are enjoying sex as it was meant to
be enjoyed by women so thank you so much
for being here and sharing with us I
told you that there was a woman in my
church who introduced this book to me I
had never heard of it before I had never
really laid eyes on it before and she
said Priscilla this book has changed my
marriage it kind of was dull and a
little bit lifeless but then I started
reading this and it really brought
passion into I mean I mean she had a big
old grin on her face she was smiling she
was so excited so tell us a little bit
for those who missed part one tell us a
little bit about what
this book is about and why so many women
are having that kind of reaction where
they’re just so excited about the
passion that they say it’s bringing into
their relationship well the the series
of three books is really coined as a
love story it’s about a relationship of
a young woman and an older man who
apparently doesn’t have to work very
hard but has tons of money and lots of
free time just like all romance novels
has but the difference of this is that
it really the whole relationship is
around sexuality and kinky sexuality the
kind of sex that involves things like
bondage and humiliation and physical
pain and women are just flocking to this
as you’ve said it’s hitting a nerve even
though if it critics will say the book
is not very well written but everybody’s
reading it and they can’t put it down
and Dan I know you have so know what
everyone with a story like that where
she says I’m my passion is aroused and
that my husband my relationship is great
with my husband again I can tell you a
story of a woman who is devastated by it
now she might be further down the road
because maybe she discovered erotica
five years ago or 10 years ago but now
she’s jobless and she has lost her
access to her children and she’s not
married anymore because of the long-term
addiction that just overwhelmed her life
when she opened the door through erotica
another thing you can look at is since
Fifty Shades of Grey has come out
ashleymadison.com
which is a matchmaking adulteress
website has said it back up and yes
Ida said that maybe excitement for
people who want to my adulterous
relationship it in adultery without any
strings attached and they have stated
there’s a website for that there’s a
website for that interesting and they
have stated that since this book’s
release they have had a tremendous
increase in the number of women who are
coming to their website that want to try
bondage dominance sadism and masochism
but they’re afraid to tell their spouse
in fact 62 percent increase in those who
want to have affairs since the book came
out less than a year ago so this is a
monogamous relationship in this book but
it’s not necessarily producing that in
the lives of real people who are read in
it and let me
skew how would you feel differently if a
man came to church and said I have
discovered this online porn site that is
so amazing and my sex life with my with
my wife is just through the roof now
what would our reaction be it we’d be
like wha yeah yeah gotta like really
like really did you does your wife
really want you thinking about what you
just saw when you’re with her and yes
the chemicals might be flying nothing
but that’s about it
you know you sit by someone at airplane
reading this book a guy would never be
caught looking at his laptop looking at
porn on an airplane you know it is so
interesting you say that because my
husband and I were flying somewhere even
recently and he did not see the cover of
the book we can remember up until now we
had never laid eyes on this book at all
she was just flipped over open she was
sitting across the aisle from him and I
guess he just glanced over and saw a few
pages and I think she might have been
reading it on her Kindle anyway the
words were to where he could he could
see it and just a couple of lines of
what he saw on that page
he thought she must be like reading porn
that that’s what it looked like to him
and then it occurred to him that it was
the 50 it was fifty Shades of Grey so
you’re saying this is erotica this is
would you classify this as pornography
for those who are trying to kind of
struggling a little bit with pornography
and erotica how would you classify
what’s in this book
well it’s if they’re there they’re two
different forms of the same type of
Sanna twins yeah they really are and and
here’s the here’s the question that your
friend needs to ask my marriage is so
precious to me and so valuable to me
that if there is a problem with the
intimacy between my husband and I and
there’s one way fifty Shades of Grey
where I can Kindle the fires and become
introduced but there’s tremendous risk
involved or there are other ways to
rekindle that fire and and fix maybe
problems in the marriage bed that don’t
have the risk but offer the same amount
of intimacy and a greater progression
towards what God’s intention is why
would you want to go to Fifty Shades
well and I think honestly a lot of women
don’t realize what they’re getting
themselves into I think that all the
risk you’re talking about the your mind
kind of being off in a fantasy land that
your marriage can never compete with and
that dissatisfaction that it will
ultimately lead
– I don’t think they realize when they
start reading that there are even those
risks that are involved as both of you
have mentioned it is a healthy itch that
needs to be scratched that women have
and I think if you look at like this
sexual pleasure and the sexual build-up
is a process and for many women it takes
a lot of energy to get there it’s almost
like running a 5k yes it could be
exhausting yes especially when you’ve
got kids at home or there’s conflict in
your marriage and you see signposts
along the way okay my body’s responding
this way my mind’s responding this way
this is a shortcut we’ll get you there
immediately and so women not only get
there immediately reading it but it
gives them something mentally to get
there immediately so that when they’re
with their husbands all of a sudden they
can take that shortcut there is always a
price to pay in a shortcut and what you
end up doing is you end up deteriorating
that healthy muscle of teaching your
body and your mind how to become aroused
how to enjoy sex with your husband in
the natural god-given way it’s it’s like
you know you want something good to eat
so you eat a bunch of sugar does it
taste good immediately absolutely it
does but in the long run you can no
longer enjoy an apple because your
system is a good analogy that is why
you’re a doctor that’s what it is
exactly right okay I want to talk about
the healthy side of this which is you
kind of just mentioned it down and you
said you know if there is a way to be
fulfilled without all this risk attached
then how do i how do I pick up on and
really engage in the healthy way to do
what fifty Shades of Grey is doing
legitimately and so I want to talk about
that because there is a healthy itch
that needs to be scratched in the lives
of women in terms of their sexuality and
their passions so if there’s a woman
who’s saying you know what honestly my
sex life is a little lackluster maybe
not to my husband maybe he’s quite
satisfied but as you said it takes a
little longer a little much more work
what are healthy ways that I can develop
a passion that I just am NOT I don’t
have right now yeah I think first of all
is getting the permission to be sexual
and be passionate in marriage you know I
think we’re so afraid particularly if
you’re if you’re Christian or religious
of what you can’t do that you just shut
everything down and you
realize that God says I created you as a
sexual being I created you to experience
sexual pleasure and I give you
permission to pursue that and I think
that’s a huge first step once you
understand what God says no – he says
you know don’t commit adultery he says
don’t commit incest or have orgies or
things like that homosexuality is wrong
and you have these boundaries once you
put those boundaries in place
he says enjoy it you know yes yes he
created lot yes yes discover some things
try new things and we messed up okay you
just said try new things yes we need to
talk about what is okay yeah what when a
woman has given herself the permission
now okay women I should be being I
should be satisfied in this relationship
it shouldn’t only be my husband that
reaches orgasm I should as well but I’m
not how much freedom do what are the
kinds of things that are okay in the
bedroom that maybe have been there kind
of taboo and questioning yeah people may
be ashamed about yeah what what are
things that are just they’re just okay
and we should try them and enjoy them
well I wish that there were a list of
you can do this you can’t do that if you
could write us a list we – well I can’t
because I’m going to go from God’s Word
because he’s the one that designed sex
in the first place and as I mentioned
there are certain things he says no to
that a morally wrong that are
destructive for you that are destructive
to your body and one of the most
important things and this gets into
Fifty Shades of Grey is that sex should
be between two people in a committed
relationship for life and that’s not
just physically it’s mentally it’s
emotionally so it’s just as wrong for me
to fantasize about another man yeah as
it is for me to act out on that it’s
just as wrong for me to bring
pornography into my marriage even though
there’s no one in the flesh because it
includes let me piggyback on that and
say that in the Hebrew language the word
for sex between a husband and wife is
the word yada yada yada yada you know
blah blah blah boring boy not so boring
after all right and the meaning of it is
to know to be known to be deeply
respected that skips the physical
doesn’t it and it goes right to the
mental and the emotional and so many
times we fool ourselves and we think
well you know of course I’m only gonna
have sex with my husband but mentally
I’m going to read Fifty Shades of Grey
hello that’s that’s such an affront
against God’s definition his core
definition of what he wanted it to be
right
absolutely so does God say no to it as
your first right first thing is God
already said no don’t do this and if he
hasn’t then the second question is
related to that is it only me and my
husband does this only involve us okay
okay and the third question is where we
get a little tricky here and the
question is is it good for us you know
the Bible says that everything is
permissible to me but not everything is
beneficial and everything is enough
fitting us yeah that everything is
permissible you me but I should not be
mastered by anything in other words it
shouldn’t have an addictive element so
when you look at things like oral sex
you look at things like sex toys and all
these different options that a couple
has you know just new places new
positions that sort of thing there’s
some of the more kinky stuff like
there’s spanking and then there’s the
red room right yes yeah the regiment’s
late change okay yes absolutely so for a
married couple if they were to look at
something like the Red Room of pain or
BDSM you know this kind of bondage
bondage things and the dominance math
right and you say okay is this
beneficial is this loving is this does
this promote safety and security with us
as a couple and those things with as
their risk associated with it which
we’ve just said and there are some
things there are some things that are
clearly no that’s not beneficial for any
couple it is not beneficial for you and
your husband I don’t care if you enjoy
it or not to humiliate each other yeah
to cause physical harm or physical pain
it’s not beneficial if there’s aftercare
involved it was probably not beneficial
right that’s a good it is a tragic thing
I’ve we’ve had to study both of us the
bondage dominance sadism masochism
movement and many of their websites will
say that if there isn’t aftercare
required it really hasn’t been what it’s
supposed to be you know we’re talking
about visits to the hospital visits to
the doctor
and AIDS bandages tell me how that’s
beneficial or even further humiliation
and degradation of a person’s humanity
but okay but we’re talking about what
does work okay well so let’s get over it
you mentioned sex toys and I’m gonna
stop right there for a second because
ideally I am go stop right there did I
really mention that you said it I don’t
remember saying that you gotta answer
the question both of you get to answer
the question how about that dad I’m
putting you on the spot too
here’s the thing that is hugely taboo I
a woman that has been you know raised up
in the church or not even in the church
just morally good girl she would hear
you say sex toys and just automatically
go into convulsions over the thought
that that would be okay but for a woman
are you saying that for a woman who you
know she is in a loving relationship
with her spouse but achieving orgasm
reaching fulfillment and satisfaction
that that moment of ecstasy that it’s
easier for her husband to come to but
very difficult for her to come her to
come to are you saying the exploration
of things that assist in that process
are okay with in the not secretly but
within the context of their marriage
that that’s that’s the way you just
described it I say I’d say yes
absolutely well I don’t get some letters
correct but let me let me paint a
different pretty picture okay let’s
paint a picture of a couple who’s
married and who constantly needs
something new and what worked last week
doesn’t work anymore
because we’re always pushing the
boundaries always have to have something
exciting that becomes something that is
a mastery kind of issue it has master
over us we cannot just enjoy each other
in that case the motivation and the end
result there is not growing in love and
benefiting in love it becomes something
that overrides love so again there’s no
this clear it’s always right or it’s
always wrong but let you know let me
define sex to a little bit if I can do
it because they’re those that have a
stigma with it and would be you know
fearful of it have you ever may use
massage oil right I would say that’s
probably a good – Latoya
a feather you know to massage someone’s
back and you know so so there’s
things that we’ve got of the five
certain things maybe that’s okay that’s
okay that’s nice XY well is it helping
to achieve arousal yeah it is and and
there are certain things that we would
be more apt to call sex toys that are in
a non harmful helpful beneficial way
helping to achieve intimacy and arousal
first spouse that we would be we would
consider to be really taboo and maybe
they’re not okay let me ask you a
question on behalf of a woman who’s
found freedom in that area and maybe
she’s saying you know what
thank you somebody’s telling me that it
is okay that my spouse and I together
have chosen to use a sexual toy to help
us together to a to achieve passion and
intimacy in our relationship but what if
it is a woman who and I was we were talk
about this a little bit earlier I
prepped you for this question
the only way she can achieve orgasm is
with this little toy now she enjoys sex
with her husband but over the twenty
years that they were married she enjoyed
it but she never actually she actually
put orgasm out of her mind because she
thought maybe her body couldn’t even do
it but now she realizes her body can do
it but it does she has to incorporate
this into their sex life in order for
that to happen she doesn’t need it she
doesn’t have to do it but without it she
doesn’t have the orgasm yeah why I take
good for her I mean part of it is part
of is for about 50% of women orgasm is
difficult to achieve it requires some
kind of manual stimulation there and
there all sorts of reasons for this but
if she’s found something within a
committed relationship
that stimulates her body and she and her
husband are enjoying that together
I really believe guy would say be
blessed
enjoy do you know how many women you
just freed up
I mean seriously there’s a lot of folks
that just are feeling like the load of
guilt comes off of them even to hear
that 50% of women struggle with it
because I think a lot of women think
they’re the only one that’s not having a
no here’s what Satan does he has a
delight in things that are wrong and he
has this feeling guilty about things
that are right and we see that in our
culture and we see religious women you
know getting so excited about cheating
online on Facebook and having emotional
Affairs and reading Fifty Shades of Grey
they’ve given themselves all their
freedom do things that are really wrong
but the thing God says is right which is
enjoying sexual pleasure in marriage and
exploring each other and having fun
Satan makes you feel guilty and part of
battling Fifty Shades of Grey is
accepting what God says enjoy have fun
I’m all for this this is what I created
it for he wants to speak sweetly to you
through his spirit he wants to give you
the comfort that only he can offer he’s
the one in the blink of an eye that can
change everything
you are supposed to personally have a
relationship with him
he wants to reignite the fire of your
relationship with him this weekend
the greatest miracle he can perform is
in your own heart and in your own mind
not necessarily in your circumstances
it’s in you oh don’t be good I’ve got a
feeling about this
I want you to know that your God is able
that we can
have you not heard have you not heard
you know let me say this positive word
of advice for every woman out there no
matter what her sex life is like I think
the starting point for a really
satisfying sex life in terms of physical
pleasure is talking about it and that’s
what many married couples are afraid to
do they’ll do things together but they
would never use language they would
never talk about their body parts they
would never write god help us we are
going to get mail but you know um I
think you know sexually speaking they
say that men are microwaves women are
crock pots yeah this is a bit of a
challenge because for men a lot of times
they just go for the special zones you
know what I’m saying yeah and they don’t
understand our ear lobes are sensitive
and our toes and our feet and it might
be a foot massage or a back massage you
know it’d be like just stay away from
the special spots until I get my back
massage and you’ll get everything you
want and I’ll get what I want too you
know so it’s so important that we talk
through that and just say that you’re
saying be open I think we start is what
does it for me baby and I know it’s
going to delay things for you but in the
long run the fireworks can be so much
bigger and that conversation I think is
something that Christian women a lot of
times afraid to begin to have and and I
would also say that if you’re having
trouble with orgasm or you’re struggling
with whether or not something is OK in
your marriage bed don’t be afraid to get
good godly Christian advice you know
there are experts out there that that
can probably bounce things off you
because so many of these things are
specific to a situation right and you
really do need somebody with godly
wisdom so as a woman go to another godly
woman as a man god help the men that
might be listening to this show go to a
godly man or men and ask for some advice
on what you’re struggling with and I
want to I want to ask about you guys and
not in a real specific graphic way now
yes I do
I want because you know you we see you
as these experts on the topic you’ve
studied it but you are women who have
your own needs who have desires in terms
of
learning to have passion with your
spouse’s you’ve been married 25 25 years
and you’ve been married 18 years 18
years so I wonder a little bit about if
there has ever been kind of a valley
season in terms of your I know you told
us a little bit about it about it in the
other episode Danna but just kind of how
you came out of that valley and what the
Lord used to help you guys sort of find
passion again you know get your groove
back yeah I’ll tell you I started in a
valley really did you know our our
intimacy in our marriage wasn’t great to
start with I dealt with a lot of
physical pain I didn’t know why and then
you add kids to the picture you
understand this three boys being busy
being exhausted so I could put my little
doctor Julie had and give everybody else
advice but there was a lot of struggle
in our own marriage and and there are
things as I really look to the Word of
God and look to everything I knew from
psychology in terms of how do I address
these things I wrote a book called no
more headaches and a lot of it was
trying to get rid of my own headaches
honestly but when were you really having
headaches noticed you know that’s no I
didn’t that’s just kind of a cliche yes
it is yeah but but one of the things
that I realized that helped me so much
is the Lord really helped me to see that
sex is a lot like Legos and I hope that
will and you appreciate this as the mom
of three boys but Legos when you look at
the box of a Lego you see a completed
project of a house or star warship or
something really cool if you open up the
box of Legos and you think that you’re
going to find what’s on the box you are
going to be really disappointed and I
think we’ve had this picture painted of
what sex is going to be you open it up
and you’ve got all these pieces that
don’t make sense you can’t fit them
together and you get frustrated but the
beauty of Legos is what why is Lego such
a best-selling toy why is it because
they get to put together they get the
joy of discovery you know your kids
first will build the Lego that could get
frustrated son well sometimes yeah then
they tear it apart and then they build
something else and they’re actually
learning a skill while they’re playing
and the same is true with how God
designed sexuality it’s not a completed
process
and the difficulties that Mike and I
have walked through and we’ve walked
through a number that I won’t mention
but we have learned to forgive each
other communicate be vulnerable beyond
selfish in 18 years we’ve not only
learned about each other’s bodies and
how our bodies respond God has taught us
such a deep love and intimacy that it
can’t it doesn’t hold a candle I mean
when the world paints on that box is
nothing when you begin to build together
and say well this isn’t working let’s
try this let’s work through this you cry
together you go through difficulty
together the kind of intimacy that comes
with sexuality is so much more profound
and when that started to happen when I
started to get the glimpse of that you
know things really took off for us
that’s great that’s great I think you
have to be creative too seasonally you
know I’ve counseled young married women
with babies at home plan a date if you
have to do it at lunchtime call your
husband and schedule a Friday night a
Friday afternoon lunch time while the
kids are having a nap they call that a
nooner they do all really my goodness
for even getting terminal tea here one
of the things in the more recent years
is I’ve gone through some just
retraining my mind and my body from some
of my healing that needed to happen is
my our counselor said you’re not you’re
gonna have sex once a week but you’re
not going to have sex until you’ve spent
at least two or three hours dating each
other in flirting you know and I’m
thinking I have a ministry my husband
has a ministry we have children we don’t
have time for two or three hours of
dating and flirting I am Telling You I
will date and flirt all my counselors
says she wants me to for the gift that
God’s brought out of it but sometimes
you know we get so focused on the
mechanics of the sex that we forget
about the friendship that leads to the
great sex we were great floaters before
we were married
and we’re good at it again now that’s
okay so I I want to ask you about the
single woman who’s been watching this
this whole time she’s kind of like oil
how do I fit into this puzzle she’s got
desires too and and she mostly hears no
no no no no
could you just speak into that just a
little bit more than just a No what does
this all look like for her in terms of
what is being introduced in our culture
what she’s supposed to do with her
passions and her desires how she’s
supposed to protect them and this is so
hard and my heart just resonates with
the hardness because I’ve walked through
it as a young woman the Lord did allow
me to find a beautiful wonderful
marriage and yet there are those that
don’t find that ever yeah you have to go
to the Scriptures again and I would love
to fail here are all these creative ways
that you can explore your sexual passion
but instead the Apostle Paul says well
if you just have to have that expression
of action get married yeah and that’s a
hard one to get around isn’t it and
because it involves it’s so much
responsibility and commitment attached
to absolutely but the the commandments
for purity applied to us whether were 16
or 60 whether we’re married or not
married and and it would be harder for a
woman that has been married and is
finding herself widowed or divorced and
has already kind of tasted that that
fulfillment of passion right it would be
so much different for her than a woman
who’s you know 17 and hasn’t been
married before anyone it hasn’t and yet
can we get creative there Julie well I
think part of it is realizing that there
is a physical urge that’s sexual but
ultimately sex isn’t just physical it’s
an emotional longing and even a
spiritual longing you know John Piper
said one of the main reasons God created
sex was to make himself more knowable
and it expresses this longing of I just
want to be known I want to be enveloped
by love and so for the single person you
know there there’s the one issue of what
I do with a physical drive but I think
more importantly what am I doing with
that deep emotional longing and we live
in a culture where we are so
disconnected I mean our friends are on
Facebook we text them instead of talking
and so I would say how rich are your
relationships how rich are the
relationships that you have in
ministering to people and nurturing to
them and being nurtured and really
having intimacy with good friends that
you share
the deepest parts of who you are and
that you talk openly about yeah these
issues all desired but when you meet
when you meet a single whose
relationships are so rich does he or she
still struggle with sexual desire and
very well it could be but it’s much less
than the single who’s jumping from thing
to thing to thing doesn’t have deep
relationship doesn’t have deep
connection with people or with God and
so some of that is channeling it in a
way that meets that ultimate need of I
just want to be known and let me jump on
that and say that one of the most
left-leaning liberal sexual studies ever
conducted was conducted out of the
University of Illinois at Chicago and
they found that the most orgasmic
sexually satisfied women we’re not
singles having supposedly hot sex but
were middle-aged married women in
mutually monogamous relationships that
had not had sex outside of marriage and
get this religiously active the highest
level of sexual satisfaction came from
the Protestant segment of all different
forms of religious activities going to
church should be having the best all a
bit I call it the Revenge of the church
ladies but here’s the point and it’s and
it goes back to what Julie was saying is
that what it’s saying is that I’m
already satisfied oh I’m already
satisfied in the Lord I’m already full
and so this gift of sex is just a bonus
it’s extra and whether you’re married or
whether you’re single if you’re not
fully lost in the love of God you are
never going to find what you need in a
human relationship you guys have both
chosen not to really read the book the
fifty didn’t you you’ve got you’ve
gotten some excerpts of it you you’ve
dug into it enough to know what’s what
it’s about so you can speak
intelligently about about the resource
but you’ve chosen not to read it
cover-to-cover
even though 44 million women have chosen
to read it cover-to-cover
why why shouldn’t a woman after we
finish this show and they’ve seen me
hold it up why shouldn’t they run to the
bookstore and say hey I need to devour
that see what it’s all about
the short answer for me is I don’t need
to step in front of a semi-truck to know
it would hurt yeah and we talk about all
kinds of dangerous bee
a view that we don’t have to try to talk
about I’ve never tried cocaine but I can
tell you why it will destroy your brain
we talk about pornography but I don’t
have to look at pornography to tell you
why it will destroy your marriage and
this is no different you know some
people even told me if you’re going to
talk about fifty Shades of Grey and
write on it you really need to read it
and I thought about it I prayed about it
not it’s like you know it I don’t want
that to steal one ounce of pleasure that
I have with my husband and we’ve been
opposed to being judgmental and I just
want to go on the record as saying we
are and the word judgment means to
discern and form an opinion you
forgiving that and the scriptures say
that the spiritual man judges all things
yes and thinks wisely before moving
forward that’s right so your your
suggestion would be that we not that’s
right that we put it down and not read
leave it looking party have a
book-burning party forty-four million
well I would say we are not going to say
that she doesn’t have the freedom to
write it but we would say that we would
also have the freedom to burn it but you
know here’s here’s what I want to say
too for those of you who really do have
a religious Christian spiritual aspect
sex is spiritual it is flat-out
spiritual do I want spiritual forces of
darkness in my sexuality or do I want to
share in God’s holiness in my sexuality
and whether you’re single or married
your choice is am i setting this part of
myself apart for the for guide for
holiness for purity and merit and
marriage and outside of marriage before
I get married when you dabble in this
you’re saying I want to avoid a little
evil into what we’re doing and that down
the road I you’re going to lose you’re
going to lose okay so tell us again what
are the three things that those of us
who want to be honorable our marriage
but we want to find passion and
excitement and enthusiasm in that
relationship the three questions we
should be asking ourself are okay first
of all did God say no did he say no is
it only us is it only me and my husband
and is it good for us is it beneficial
for beneficial you got it then go for it
and then go for it we’re getting a
license to just go for it and enjoy
ourselves I’m so grateful to you guys
because you really have brought a lot of
clarity to a top
that people are talking about people are
reading it in the church but nobody’s
actually having a conversation and you
guys have helped us not only to get some
insight but then to feel free to talk
about it moving forward and so there are
lots of friendships that you probably
have in your life where you and some
girlfriends need to have a conversation
about whether or not this book is good
for you whether or not what it’s
introducing is good for you and how you
can hold each other accountable in your
relationships if you’re married as
single women how you can hold each other
accountable to walk in purity all those
things are so important and these two
ladies can help you to do that in
ongoing regular basis at pure freedom
org you’re going to find Ana and all the
details that she has studied that she’s
written out in an encouraging way to
help you on your journey
and then Miss Julie at authentic
intimacy calm wonderful website that’s
full of incredible materials to help you
with this and listen there’s also a
question-and-answer option available to
you for both of them where you can
really ask questions if you’ve got some
questions you need answers to because
this has kind of perked up some some
intriguing things in your mind and in
your heart please feel free to ask those
questions as well these ladies are well
equipped to answer those questions this
has been a good we could talk about this
for another couple hours you all know
that right we could keep on going and
maybe we should at a later at a later
time we should but we’re so grateful to
you guys because you really have brought
a lot of clarity thank you so much for
being here and thank you for being here
the chat will continue next month we’re
so glad that you’ve taken your time to
join us we’re looking forward to seeing
you again see ya
you
you