As the former wife of professional cyclist, Lance Armstrong, Kristin was living a luxurious lifestyle that many could only dream of. Years later, news of deceit and betrayal led to a painful divorce. Join us as we hear Kristin’s incredible story about how God has taught her to extend mercy and forgiveness in even the most difficult of situations.

I hope you were doing well today I’m so

excited that you’re here this is the

chat where we well we chat about stuff

that I hope will be an encouragement to

you and an inspiration today I’m really

excited because I get the chance to just

get to know a woman that I really want

you to know her name is Kristen

Armstrong she was married to Lance

Armstrong for quite a bit and you know

kind of thrust into a very public life

and then a public divorce that was very

hurtful and lots of forgiveness had to

take place in restoration and she’s

gonna talk to us about how the Lord

accomplished that in her life it’s

really gonna be a inspiration to all of

us who are not going to want to miss

this so stay tuned

[Music]

as I said before I’m so glad that you’re

here because this really is going to be

a show that you are not going to want to

miss every single word of it I really

think is going to make an impact in your

life holding this little book in my hand

by a sweet lady named Christian

Armstrong that I can’t wait to introduce

to you

it’s called happily ever after now the

reason why this is intriguing to me is

because it’s a phrase we’ve heard for a

long time since we were little girls

little girls or little boys but to talk

to somebody who has really had to take a

journey to this place well that’s that’s

what I’m after I’m after figuring out

how do you get here when you’re coming

from a place of brokenness or hurt how

does God restore and heal you that’s

what Kristin’s gonna tell us about so

would you please all just help me to

welcome our guest for today her name is

Kristin Armstrong come on out okay so

we’ve just really gotten a chance to

know each other and to just sit down and

talk just a little bit and just in the

few moments that we’ve talked I’ve been

very intrigued about really kind of

getting all in your business and try to

figure out yes yeah we have some

questions for you my friend because

there is a story to tell about how you

get to happily ever after when you’ve

got the kind of story that you have and

you know there are a lot of people

watching right now who probably are

coming from bits and pieces of

brokenness in their past so we need to

know what your bits and pieces are tell

us a little bit about your story who you

are what happened

and then just the beginnings of how God

began to lead you down a different path

okay yeah

well it’s a small just a small question

just everything everything we want to

know everything from us my faith

perspective I was raised Catholic and my

Catholic faith was always something to

me that was very routine very rote

memorized prayers things like that so

while it was very much the foundation of

my childhood it didn’t feel very

personalized yet to me so if you

fast-forward through my life

until I met Lance Armstrong and married

him in 1998 how old were you when you

guys kind of met engaged married all

that what he says okay so you’re in your

20s when this yes all right my 20s and

so we meet fall in love have a whirlwind

amazing courtship and ended up in a span

of five years to have just so many

things crammed into such a short period

of time so his recovery from cancer his

return to his cycling career and going

through in vitro fertilization having

three children and having a huge

skyrocket rise to fame and success and

then just kind of a crumbling and a

plummet and explosion and there it is so

go from Cinderella to kind of wreckage

in a really short period of time okay so

let’s just sit there for just a second

and talk about that how was that

experience for you because you’re

marrying a guy and then all of a sudden

limelight there’s just a tension cast on

you your husband your family were you

receptive to that or did you kind of

recoil from that spotlight or was it

okay with you how did you feel about

that well to go from marrying someone

who just was recovering from cancer so

someone who’s not just career futures

uncertain but I mean think his entire

life was uncertain

so we fell in love in that place and so

he was in a very different place when I

fell in love with him he was humbled by

his illness he was more of a sensitive

place so that was such a wild ride to go

from meeting someone in that beautiful

place someone who kind of was

experiencing sort of like the brink of

death kind of thing yeah yeah and

there’s anything that’ll humble you

that’ll do it yeah and and so that was a

beautiful place to meet him and then

that all too when you add so much

success so much celebrity all of that

your life changes so quickly that it was

almost hard to keep up with all of that

just the the limelight and also just

having as you know three children I mean

that’s

the change into motherhood so to become

a wife and to become a wife of a

celebrity and then to become a mother

all in such a short period of time was a

lot of transition mm-hmm did you find

yourself because for a lot of women just

the being a mom part alone causes her to

feel like she’s just in this little

bubble all by herself changing dirty

diapers and you got to keep up with the

dishes and you got to feed people and

all this to add on that in your

situation you’ve got this guy who’s

success is kind of carrying him not only

out of the house I would assume Lots

because he had to travel Lots I’m sure

so he’s out and about doing his thing

but you’re also saying that success sort

of changed him in terms of what was

important to him and how you the grounds

where you first met him so did you find

that all of that kind of piled on top of

each other for you how did you handle

that season of your life well there was

definitely some isolation because I was

living over in Europe and all my friends

are back in the States my family’s in

the state so here’s me being still a

newly married person but also a young

mother so there was a lot of identity

shift that was happening to me and and

that is a lot of growth and and

maturation crammed into a tiny period of

time and I felt like I got lost in there

and I got lost in my faith I I got lost

in who I was I got I mean every woman I

think can get a little bit lost in

marriage you can get lost in motherhood

and it’s it’s very easy it’s you can get

lost in being the wife of an athlete you

can in all those ways you can get lost

and I got lost in all of those ways at

once yeah I want to know tough question

for you I want to know yeah a little bit

of worry but it might not be a tough

question for you might know off right

off the top of your head but I want to

know were you angry

were you angry during the five years

when you started to just see this guy

change from who he was when you said I

do to who he was becoming was there ever

a time when you weren’t just sad or

curious about what the future would be

but where you were just plain old

flat-out mad that you had made a

commitment to someone who was not the

same person than when you that when did

they were when you made that commit

I think that the his evolution and the

evolution of our life came and some

subtle shifts that happen along the way

and frankly the more and more observe

absorbed that he became in his career

and his traveling and all of that I was

more and more absorbed in mothering so I

think what happened more than like angry

would be like kind of a chasm which

happens to a lot of people in their

marriage and I think that there’s a lot

of people that are at it right around

five or seven years of being married and

it’s a really challenging time because

when you have small children

you’re so sucked into their world and

what that means to be a mother that you

can’t really remember all the things

that you used to love or why you used to

love this man yeah I mean all those

things come up it’s a very normal thing

but to go through that and kind of a

microscope of then when you show up with

your family somewhere you’re on display

yeah and that that’s change you’re

supposed to kind of look like all as

well yeah yeah yeah and and we did look

like that we looked lovely but it was

hard okay I hope you all just heard what

she said cuz that’s so interesting that

chasm that you you know is happening in

little microscopic steps if you ignore

it it just grows and it grows and it

grows and you don’t realize till the

other side yes that it just started as

us just not talking to each other we’re

just kind of passing like ships in the

night yes and I’ve heard so many women

over the years tell me stories and I can

relate exactly to how they feel in those

situations because the same thing

happened to me that may be married to a

celebrity person but a marriage is a

marriage and being a partner and being a

mom and those things that’s common

ground to a lot of women so now I have

heard that when you kind of share your

story with a group there were some

friends of mine that were actually in a

group in Austin where you were speaking

and they told me about a story you told

that had to do with a blanket and so

tell us what led to which which had to

be a heavy weight on you just the news

that you got that sort of led to this

blanket story but tell us about that

that that was the first time I had ever

shared

story about the blanket and I haven’t

spoken of it since it is something that

is really personal to me it’s a really

sweet story and I I think what’s

important about it is it shows how far

you can come yeah

because kind of as preface for that

story I always wanted my kids to have a

sense of unconditional love and I that

was the biggest wreckage for me after my

marriage fell apart because I felt like

a failure because I wasn’t able to give

my kids that gift and that’s what I

always wanted so years go by and healing

and work and all of that and eventually

our relationship did repair and we have

a great relationship today co-parenting

and we’re friends and we’d have been

through a lot our family and so to me

now and I look and I see that we

actually do have a beautiful example of

unconditional love it doesn’t look like

the pretty picture that I always wanted

but I can see that I still I mean God

still gave us that in spite of all the

the brokenness in spite of bad choices

in spite of all kinds of hurt and hard

work it’s still it is that yeah and I

love that so that’s kind of the

background for blanket story so yeah

okay so I can’t remember exactly what is

maybe six years ago

Lance had a new girlfriend her name’s

Anna and he came to my house to tell me

that Anna was pregnant so whoa okay

that’s big news that has huge impact on

our family and so he was coming to tell

me that honoring me the mother of his

other children like hey this is what’s

happening right now like okay now my

kids and I have had enough

awesome therapy to know that in any time

when you’re going through a change or

something significant your children have

to be able to look at you

their mom to see that everything is

going to be okay I had a therapist once

described it to me like this you know

when your kid Falls and splits his chin

and comes running up to you and looks at

you they want to know based on your face

like am i okay right mom am I gonna be

okay isn’t that the truth because this

is like all babies and they work on yeah

so I knew that when they got this big

news they would be looking to me and

they would look to my face and so I

really had to ask God to help me not my

kids know me too well my face has to

reflect the real me because they’ll know

if I’m putting on an act or what so I

have this awesome friend her name is

Peggy and I called her and told her what

was going on a couple days later in the

mail comes circular knitting needles and

a big heap of yarn and so I balled up

all this yarn and I started knitting a

baby blanket and that was one of the

finest things because the whole time I

was knitting that baby blanket I was

praying and I was preparing to welcome a

child into our family and and my kids

saw me carry that everywhere the

knitting needles the ball of yarn

whether I’m in the pickup line or

waiting at the dentist or whatever they

got to witness that and they saw the

softness they saw the act of welcome and

generosity and just it they saw me

preparing so it made it okay for them to

prepare to yeah and it was really neat

and it was this really sweet gift to be

able to give Ana it was it’s an ugly

blanket I mean holding on to some

horrible knitting okay it has a lot of

holes in it and so does my life really

matter you know it doesn’t matter no but

it was such a neat thing it was a really

special thing to know that their babies

wrapped up in this blanket yeah a

blanket that you made and I mean what an

act of forgiveness of mercy of

generosity I was thinking about the fact

that we were talking earlier and just

that moving forward

sometimes it boils down to choosing to

move forward choosing choosing to take

the steps that are necessary to bring

healing to your own heart is not as much

about the other person as it is about

you freeing yourself and saying hey I

will do what is required whether I feel

like it today or not

I am an example for these kids yes

they’re watching me

and for yourself I want to be a whole

woman I don’t want to get to 60 and

still be living in the past of what

happened when I was 20 or 30 years old

I want to be able to give for that was a

courageous thing you did humanely

courageous so many people would have not

taken a baby blanket they may have taken

other things but not just the needles

maybe just exactly right so I’m thinking

about this little Bible verse in regards

to that Paul is writing in second

Corinthians and he is saying now however

sometimes it’s a time that you need to

forgive but he doesn’t just start stop

with forgiveness he says you need to

forgive and bring comfort that’s the

part that’s hard sometimes it because

you don’t mind the forgiveness you can

deal with that you can get yourself

there to forgive what has happened but

it’s that bringing comfort part to the

other person that has hurt you by

knitting the baby blanket or by saying

happy birthday when your heart is just

all tensed up and you kind of don’t want

to extend just that little offering of

graciousness just a smile across the

grocery store when you run into them

that says you’re okay he says you know

what forgiveness sometimes it’s complete

not just by forgiving in your own heart

but then just doing something kind this

is a huge example of that and it

encourages us and so we’re gonna talk

more about what it looks like to forgive

but for now would you please help me by

thanking Kristin for telling us so much

of her incredible story

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this is going to be an incredible

experience where we all get to see what

it’s like to experience God’s unfailing

love we are incredibly loved incredibly

valuable and incredibly capable of

blowing it that’s why we are in the book

of Hosea I want you to experience it I

want you to be able to enjoy it I want

you to be able to taste and see that the

Lord is good if you’re lost the message

of Hosea is that God will find you if

you’re ashamed he’ll cover you if you’ve

wandered off he’ll come get you if you

have given up on him he is not going to

give up on you if you have found

yourself in Chains and in slavery and

you don’t know how you got there he will

buy you back and give you freedom that’s

the incredible scandal of God’s love he

would do whatever it takes to restore us

that kind of unfailing love

would change everything

we are having a great great great

conversation I want to read to you just

a little a little smidge of Kristin’s

book it says here I have walked this

path from the trenches of despair

through pitfalls of anger bottlenecks of

blame along with the cliffs of

loneliness and fear I have felt the cold

draught of my own sin and the warm

embrace of forgiveness and navigating my

ups and downs I found my unshakable

compass in the Lord if you can find

yours more quickly it will spare you a

measure of anguish and this is part of

my intention for writing this book this

book is happily ever after and Kristin

had to find her journey there and she

started to tell us before we went to the

break a little bit about what that

looked like the choice you made making a

baby blanket for this new little one

that was going to be added sort of to

your clan and you had to feel a measure

of shock and a little bit of hurt maybe

or frustration about that what were your

emotions when you just kind of gotten

the news that this baby was on the way I

think I was mostly surprised it wasn’t

so much hurt as I felt concern I think I

didn’t want my own kids to feel

displaced or less important I think that

was kind of where my heart was on that

but I also thought okay our family’s

changing again and it’s really important

that here’s a new person that’s coming

into our family dynamic and luckily for

all of us she’s a lovely person but I

wanted her to feel welcome because

sometimes you can feel like the ex-wife

is sort of this looming figure and it’s

just maybe might impact the relationship

with with your children and so I wanted

her to feel welcome so when I gave her

that blanket yeah tell us if I think

that moment I mean I don’t think Lance

really understood he was probably like

that’s the ending right there well

you’re giving up well I don’t think so

but I don’t think he really ever

acknowledged what that meant because I

think to him it was probably like an

ugly blanket but

he doesn’t really get it but I think

that for her she really did understand

like she knew what that was I mean I

remember her eyes filled up with tears

and she just kind of looked at me and

she’s like thank you this is this is

beyond beautiful

and so I knew that she understood but it

was months of carrying that around and

now the gift was in the making really

that’s what I was gonna ask you what

what did the process to do for you in

making that blanket I think it was a

softening of my heart I mean knowing

that whenever I was working on that I

was also praying and I was also thinking

about how my children would receive not

just this news but you know another

person into our family and it was it

meant a lot to me to handle that and

handle it well yeah yeah and you were

saying something during the break about

the whole dynamic of an ex-wife and a

new kind of woman entering the scenario

and whatever capacity a girlfriend or a

new wife how do you feel like or how

would you encourage someone who’s in

that position that you were in why is it

important to make this new person feel

like you’ve got open arms to this

scenario well I think I think it’s one

thing it can’t be faked

you know I mean if you’re if you aren’t

in a place where you really have done

that kind of work on forgiveness in

general then whatever you’re trying to

put forward isn’t authentic but when

you’re really right through it yeah yeah

yeah and it won’t feel good anyway but I

think that when you think about your

children in a situation like that

particularly I mean if you have children

if you don’t it’s not really the same

but if you do then you have to think

here is someone that’s coming into our

lives that is going to have connection

with my children is going to have

influence on my children whether I like

it or not and so to make that

relationship one where you have open you

welcomed someone you have open

communication with that person it’s

essential and to be able to get over

yourself and whatever your own baggage

is to think okay really do I love Luke

Greyson Isabelle more than I love myself

you bet you bet I do and I care about

their happiness more than I care about

my own but I also care about mine and I

want a piece

full life I want a life where I can go

to different games up or two productions

at school or I can go to school

conferences and I want to be able to

feel good in my own skin wherever I go

not not constant I don’t want to thank

mystic to this other person that’s in

the room no I don’t want to feel like oh

I feel okay as long as this yeah and

that’s the beauty of forgiveness I think

because if you can forgive someone who’s

hurt you or you can forgive

circumstances that come that you didn’t

want if you can forgive yourself for

things that you have contributed to

situations and to find a way to work

through that takes you to a whole new

place of grace and a whole new place of

freedom and that’s really where you want

to live that’s that place of

unconditional love I was talking about

that’s that’s where you need to be if

you want to live that kind of liberated

life where you’re not carrying this

baggage and weight from the past

everywhere you go okay I have a question

I want to know do you think that it’s

the making of the blanket that brought

about the sense of forgiveness you

needed to live a peaceful life or do you

think that that forgiveness has to come

before you’re able to make the blanket

and offer that that little piece of

generosity and extend yourself to

someone because somebody’s listen aren’t

we all wondering do you have to forgive

first and then offer yourself or if it’s

in the offering that the forgiveness

Wells up in your heart and you’re able

to do you understand what I’m asking yes

and and that the blanket is one piece

that came along years after a lot of

other things so there’s there’s so many

stories in between there but I think

it’s kind of like when the Red Sea

parted you know they had to take a few

steps the Israelites did and then the

sea parted they didn’t just like wait on

the side and go all right well okay

pretty soon I think that’s supposed to

open on up it didn’t work that way and

just like anything else we have to take

the first few steps we have to step out

in faith and we have to step out in

obedience to say you know what I know

that this is right I know that this is

what I’m supposed to do I may not feel

it all right now

but I’m gonna trust that that will come

yeah and so I think that it’s the answer

to what you’ve asked me is it’s both I

think you have to have a little bit of

it but then you also have to be willing

to say okay I trust you that you’re

gonna supply what I need as I go along

because I can choose that that’s the

path that I want to take I know that

that’s the life that I eventually want

because I see people who hold on to all

the stuff from the past and they can

talk about a circumstance of a divorce

or a death or something that was

disappointment to them and you would

honestly think it happened in the past

year yeah oh yeah well that was 15 years

ago

yeah whoa whoa that person is still

bringing that negativity into every

situation and every new relationship

that they go into and I didn’t want that

I knew that I love this I love this idea

that you really have to look forward and

decide 10 years from now or 20 years

from now what do I want my life to look

like what kind of woman do I want to be

what kind of piece do I want to permeate

my home or my children’s lives what do I

want to model for them and then you have

to make choices today with that in mind

not your today feelings in mind and what

you do or don’t want to do today yeah

you have to look forward and it takes a

lot of resolve to make decisions today

because I think about that sometimes

when we’re traveling we travel a whole

lot and you know how when you’re going

from one area of the country maybe to

another and it’s hot where you are but

it’s going to be cold where you’re going

and so you have to decide not to pack

for where you are right now which is

what you’re tempted to do because all

the stuff in your closet is a summer

stuff because it’s hot yeah but you’ve

got to say okay women I got to pull out

some of these sweaters because where I’m

going it’s gonna be cold

it takes a choice to think with tomorrow

in mind and that’s what you had to do

yes and just like everything else we you

have to get up every day and choose just

to have just have a good marriage you

get up every morning and choose to have

a good marriage again that day yep you

want to be a good mom okay you have to

get up and choose again you don’t just

make one choice and think okay great

I’m good ten years from now I’m gonna be

right on track I mean I’m I’m always

checking in with my

self yep like how am i doing how am I

really doing yeah am I being really who

I want to be yeah because if I’m not I

need to adjust yeah and so that’s kind

of an ongoing process but it’s funny

because in light of travel I remember

thinking to myself you remember when

you’d get like free tickets or use miles

and then you try to go booked your

ticket and there’d be like this time

it’s all blacked out it’s like blackout

dates you can’t use your ticket yeah I

thought I don’t want to look back on my

life and look at blackout dates like

where was I you know was I hiding under

the covers was I just checked out yeah I

didn’t want to miss that not just in the

raising of my kids because that means

everything to me but what about me and

my work that’s my relationship my

ministry what what is that like do I

want blackout dates or am I gonna dust

off and choose today that I’m gonna get

up and make the best of it and go in

that direction yeah you you mentioned

even for giving yourself the journey and

the process that that is as well in

terms of you know forgiving others but

also just realizing what you have what

work you have to do and forgiving

yourself and I’m wondering if in your

your marriage you felt like while you

know it was cause the spotlight on what

Lance was doing but I wonder if you look

back at that or in the middle of that if

you felt like did you give yourself a

hard time for anything that you may have

done or not done the chasm that maybe

you didn’t notice or didn’t you know

work hard enough it kind of pull in the

reins and on was there anything you had

to in regards to that marriage really

forgive yourself for oh absolutely

okay and I think that that’s a really

important piece because anytime were

coming out of a relationship if we take

on this mentality that were the victim

in this situation like this happened to

me I didn’t contribute anything this

that delays our healing so much in fact

it was when I really started to realize

you know what I paid played a part in

this there were things about me that

were deceptive there were ways that I

lost myself there were ways that I

didn’t show up the way I could have

shown up there was countless things that

I would do differently I’m 43 years old

now I would be such a different wife

today yeah

and thank God for that yeah but I like

to look at that and see what my part is

because someday I hope to be married

again and I don’t want to make those

same mistakes I don’t want to lose

myself and I don’t want to make

decisions that caused the chasm I see

that and I see that I had a part to play

but stepping out of the role of victim

was huge in healing like yeah I have to

forgive myself too that’s good yeah this

has been an incredible conversation

listen forgiveness matters and making

the choice to forgive really can’t

change the trajectory of your whole life

you get to make that decision and God

will help you walk down the path you

need to live a peaceful hope-filled

joy-filled life I’m still so glad that

you’ve been here and listen we’ve got

apart to you this just as this is just

the beginning of our conversation we’re

gonna do it again so you won’t want to

miss the second half talking with

Kristin Armstrong thanks for being here

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you