Join us as we hear from blogger & speaker, Mo Isom, as she shares a bit about her story and helps us uncover what’s really going on in the hearts of women struggling with promiscuity & pornography and how God’s grace can turn it all around.

hey there welcome welcome this is the

chats a place where we are chatting

about the things that are important and

today we have a very important show

listen you have probably heard of a

little book turned movie called Fifty

Shades of Grey

well the gray area is becoming even more

grey it seems like nobody really knows

how to kind of get a handle on what’s

right what’s wrong what’s in-between and

if any of this is really doing damage in

the lives of people and we’re going to

talk about that today because it’s

important meal of mostly women have read

this book have gone to this movie and we

already did a show on the Fifty Shades

of Grey we talked to two very incredible

women who are able to help us kind of

wade through some of the psychological

waters as to what this is doing to our

lives to our marriages but today we’re

gonna talk a little bit more personally

with a couple people that are gonna be

able to give us some personal insight

about how their lives have been affected

by things like pornography promiscuity

you know listen this is not just a man’s

issue it very much is a woman’s issue as

well we’re gonna get the female

perspective on it you are going to want

to stay tuned this is gonna be a good

one

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

all right we have got some work to do

today on a very serious topic serious

business because there are a whole lot

of people specifically women men and

women but today we’re really kind of

zeroing in on how pornography how

promiscuity how just that whole

salacious appetite that our culture has

really how it is doing a number on lots

of women teens young adults young 20s

all the way up through all decades of

life are really being affected and we

just kind of need to talk about it get

it out in the open and then try to find

out how we can get some help for folks

who really do need it and so we’re gonna

talk to a couple people that I think

you’re gonna find very interesting one

of them is mo Isom she just has a she’s

just an interesting girl all the way

around and she really does have a

testimony to share with you and so if

you’ll please help me to welcome mode to

the show today

[Applause]

yeah well listen just get comfy you know

we just may well be around and you’re

not gonna hang out and talk yes we need

to talk so a lot of people are familiar

with you because you wrote this little

blog well first of all you’re a great

writer period you have lucky a great

writing on your blog you need to go and

just look mo Isom up is om because it’s

got a great blog but there’s one that

really captured the attention of a lot

of people called the Fifty Shades of

grace yes why did you just start right

there with why did you call it Fifty

Shades of grace okay so I wrote this

blog at the time where Fifty Shades of

Grey the movie was coming out and I

could not go on Facebook or go online or

go on social media without seeing some

type of article written with an opinion

about Fifty Shades of Grey

you know supportive don’t understand

what the big hullabaloo is Christian

perspective on it that’s offended that

wasn’t pleased you know you just saw the

whole gambit of opinions and I said

they’re kind of scrolling through these

articles and realizing you know I could

I could sit down and I could write a

blog post analyzing and critiquing the

motives of writing something like this

the issues with our culture being so

fascinated by it or I could kind of

strike to the heart of the message and

dig below all of this and and share the

fifty Shades of grace that I’ve seen

through promiscuity through issues with

just sexual stigma through pornography

through all of these different things

and just sort of share a more personal

take on it because the conversation was

loud enough about the actual book yeah I

wanted the conversation to be about

Jesus because ultimately that’s where

any growth or insight or perspective was

going to come from and the response was

just amazing people really really

responded and connected I think first

with the vulnerability and then second

with the relatability there were so many

messages I got from people saying I

cannot believe you just wrote about that

I would have never had the guts to but I

wrestled with X Y & Z you know and and

how did you process what did you do or

you still all these and the majority

were I mean all of them reaching out to

me

women okay wait a minute wait wait wait

I’m here I’m just gonna talk and you’re

not gonna ask any questions laughing oh

and I’d like to ask questions ask the

question this is my show I’m sorry I’m

sorry okay listen we got to back up a

little bit cuz I gotta ask you a

question with all your comments that you

were getting back when you when you

wrote the blog and we’re gonna talk

about the blog because folks need to

know exactly what the blog was about

fifty Shades of grace but I want to know

in your kind of sphere of influence did

you have friends coworkers people that

were reading the book going to see the

movie or were they mostly kind of

steering clear of it what kind of circle

of friends were you in yeah so the

circle of friends that I was in was

really steering clear of it and pretty

opinionated on the material on the

response really sort of frustrated

culturally with the popularity of it all

that was my inner circle but at the same

time I realized I couldn’t just be

blinded by the like-minded view of my

inner circle there were plenty of of

colleagues of friends of peers my age

who were reading it who did go see it

who were tweeting them sitting in the

theater you know who some outspoken some

who I know had read it but would

probably never win everybody ready I

really want to know in the group that we

have here I think if you saw it I’m not

gonna do it but I do want to know if you

had people that you know close friends

of yours that went to go see the movie

anybody okay so the majority of our

hands are raised lots of our hands are

raised how about read the book do you

have people in your life that read even

more hands now reading the book okay so

the last statistic I read and this has

been a while ago there were about 50

million people that had read this book

one of the highest selling books of all

time it’s Fifty Shades of Grey

and it’s very clearly about sex and a

specific form of sex and how it all

plays out and I got to tell you the very

first time I heard about this book at

all I was at church and there was a

young lady who has been in our I say

young lady but you know she’s in her 40s

which is young is that it is young

she just said is it yes ma’am it is

young okay and she’s been married for a

while and I heard about it because we

were just kind of casually talking me

and a few friends and she said you know

y’all I got this book called 50 shades

of grey at the time I hadn’t really

heard anything about it was this was

maybe five years ago four years ago and

she just said I got this book and it has

really been great for my marriage

so the first information I heard about

it Wow was how great it was that it kind

of lit a new fire and a new spark and

her relationship so I just heard it was

great that’s all I heard then sort of

down the pipeline I began to hear that

and of course I didn’t have a copy of

the book you know I just you know and

didn’t have it yet but I began to hear

comments about how it seems good at

first but then it sort of leads you down

a path that you might find yourself sort

of entangled in something that is not

where you want to be right is that what

you were beginning to hear as well yeah

it was um it was really interesting

because there was one camp of of peers

who were reading it who thought oh this

is good you know this has given us ideas

this is you know it’s it’s saucy it’s

spicy it’s you know it makes me blush

more than anything I’ve seen on TV just

reading a book you know sort of this

really caught up in that

erotic you know turned on it’s good

agree rodica yeah and then there was

another camp of people who I think who I

knew had been reading the book who I

think started to realize through it wait

a second this is not what love is and

they’re really selling this is love and

it’s kind of disturbing and it’s kind of

upsetting me you know and really sort of

it started to lean towards the camp of

this is sending real mixed signals from

what I know to be true but it’s still so

popular and it just kind of got

confusing all the waters got really

muddy yep okay so then you respond with

fifty Shades of grace just tell us to

just fill everybody in what is your blog

post fifty Shades of grace about yes

so that blog post is written more

poetically than long-form writing

and throughout it 50 times I say I’m

thankful for fifty Shades of grace but

you know before each of those there’s a

little segment of story about your life

about my life and it starts right off

the bat saying you know along the lines

of I remember when I was young and I

opened the truck door and a playing card

fell out from stuff stuck behind the

seat and would have been like what your

dad would have put in the car my dad’s

truck he just you know wedged folders

and bags and papers back there as a

small truck and I remember a playing

card falling out and still to this day

vividly remember bending over and

picking it up just to you know wedge it

back in there but flipping it over and

there was pornographic images on it I

mean I saw a man and a woman doing

things I’d never seen how old were you

seven yeah seven maybe eight and it’s

that it was that feeling of your stomach

like coming up into your chest and you

feel like what is that you don’t even

know what it is yet but you know what’s

wrong you know you know it’s just you

shouldn’t be seeing it and you know my

dad’s coming around the side of the

truck and so I’m wedging it back as fast

as I can and the blog says it more

poetically but it sort of starts there

and it says you know even in that moment

I’m thankful for fifty Shades of grace

and it moves through seeing as a child

my dad really struggling with a

pornography addiction yeah and one one

instance you talked about sort of

walking around the corner and seeing

images on a computer screen or on a

television screen that he was watching

yeah coming down stairs just to get a

drink late at night I can remember

turning the corner and our TV was in

such a place that you could see it if he

came into the kitchen and there was porn

and you know always coming down into the

office and it’d be a quick turn off of

the computer screen and you know oddly

enough immediate anger and frustration

with me which I love my you would be

frustrated with you yeah I love my dad

through and through and at no point in

any point of the blog did I want it to

seem like I was blaming my issues on

some on my dad but it had something to

do with there was exposure there was

exposure Dan extremely young age and I

watched it take a toll on my parents

marriage and keep him out of my mom’s

arm

at night and I watch you know what just

the block moves through this pornography

presence when I’m so young to actual

interest on my part then I’ve been

exposed to it and I’m human how long

what would you say was from the time you

were seven and this started and you felt

uncomfortable at what point do you think

it moved into an interest where it began

to kind of stir in you a curiosity that

led toward desire quickly it’s amazing

how quickly those things can really

captivate our mind in our heart and you

know when kids are young and it’s scary

because the exposure is happening

younger and younger it seems every year

but then you have friends who have seen

or heard something that are telling you

things and a one friend at school in my

neighborhood knew this channel on the TV

and even though it was fuzzy you could

see some stuff and so we’d go like try

to figure out what we were seeing back

in the days when TVs were fun we’re

fuzzy yes yes who are like trying to

discern and you know you find the

channels on on your own TV and you’re

kind of like turning down the volume but

trying to figure all this out did your

did your parents know at all that you

were struggling with this

oh no yeah I can maybe think of one time

my dad walked in and I had like was

maybe trying to see something on the

computer and just I clicked away and

he’s like what are you looking at you

know it but didn’t really pry I don’t

think it raised too much of a red flag

but you know I was growing up at the

time that Internet was really growing

and pornography hit the internet quickly

it did not waste time and so just

exposure just a lot of exposure and and

you know I gotta say before we go to a

quick break I’ve got to say that even

what I’m gathering from you now is is

really a trick I think of the enemy that

we don’t quite get clearly and that is

that exposure doesn’t leave you

satisfied it actually leaves you hungry

for the next level right so you’re

constantly wanting the next thing to

satisfy what used to satisfy it doesn’t

anymore now you’ve been exposed you want

more

right so with 50 shades of gray or

things like that you feel like oh this

is cool we’re gonna we’re gonna we’re

gonna do this but then all of a sudden

you find it actually didn’t satisfy you

it just kind of made you curious about

what we could do next and what we can do

next so then it continues to lead you

down a path a path that we’re going to

keep talking about with Moe in just a

few minutes so please stay tuned

[Applause]

[Music]

this is going to be an incredible

experience where we all get to see what

it’s like to experience God’s unfailing

love we are incredibly loved incredibly

valuable and incredibly capable of

blowing it that’s why we are in the book

of Hosea I want you to experience it I

want you to be able to enjoy it I want

you to be able to taste and see that the

Lord is good if you’re lost the message

of Hosea is that God will find you if

you’re ashamed he’ll cover you if you’ve

wandered off he’ll come get you if you

have given up on him he is not going to

give up on you if you have found

yourself in Chains and in slavery and

you don’t know how you got there he will

buy you back and give you freedom that’s

the incredible scandal of God’s love he

would do whatever it takes to restore us

that kind of unfailing love

what changed everything

[Music]

we’ve been talking to mo mo has been

kind of leading us on a very vulnerable

authentic journey through some of the

struggles in her life but I’m so glad

she is because it really is helping us

today and it’s already been helping a

lot of people she has a fantastic blog

where she has written some i opening

things about her own life that also lead

us to broader issues of culture and just

the heart of women and how we can remain

pure and make sure that we are you know

living in a way that’s healthy all the

way around so I’m glad you tuned back in

because we were just about to really

talk about the path that sort of you

just begin to walk down seeing the

pornography that your your father was

looking at being exposed to it then that

exposure leading to a little bit of

desire and then just being fed all along

the way where did this eventually lead

you yeah so where I mean all of this

exposure eventually led was first and

foremost to a really twisted view of

beauty and power because a lot of the

interests while the sexual images were

were interesting to me it was this

allure of this woman who really was like

in control and she was sexy and she was

beautiful and you know you’re seeing

versions of it on the movies that even

if it’s not as graphic and this is what

culture finds beautiful yeah so you’re

getting you’re getting kind of excited

about the fact that my femininities got

some power and I Rea use this to my

advantage

yes and I’m kind of rationalizing what

I’m looking at as I’m learning I’m

learning tips here this is how one day

you know I’ll be able to do X Y & Z and

you know I made a commitment to my mom

when I was young that I would save

myself until I was married until I was

married but actually found myself very

much in gray area because I had sort of

committed to virginity but never really

learned about that purity yeah yeah and

so it was this commitment to virginity

and okay I’ll never go all the way but

confused about purity seeing the power

and control of these women thinking that

is really what a man does

so when I become of age and I’m actually

sort of finding the courage to do these

things physically as well I was

completely lost in the gray area of I

can round the basis but not go all the

way I can give little pieces of myself

away but still be a virgin and that’s

you know ideally what a good Christian

would be right a virgin yet I am doing

everything but a thread of holding on to

what is what is pure and so I really

found as I was growing as a young woman

I was I was just reckless

I was just reckless and you know a big

piece of my story is we eventually lost

my father to suicide and that left me

over well when were you I was 18 you

were 18 I was 18 do you leave a note or

anything that let you know why he did

leave okay um he he left a note

explaining how this decision would

benefit our family on the financial side

on just him being out of the picture

side all of these things he never really

gave deep explanation as to why but and

and we were blindsided because my dad

was a family man through and through I

mean I just think there were some

financial things that came to the

surface and I think he really just

panicked and I think it broke his heart

that he had really hurt his family and

we were blindsided it came out of

nowhere but we can look back now and see

he was clearly dealing with some you

noticed I am expression and I really

believe that the pornography addiction

played a great role in that he was bound

by a lot of bondage they kept him away

from my mother that kept him fixated on

something that was broken and implanted

yeah exactly and you know we could have

a whole nother session about all the

titles around that but it was um you

know after his passing I ran from God

into depression and anxiety and working

as hard as I possibly could to use sin

sized pieces to

odd size hole in my heart I mean just

indulged physically with guys I was just

like the Machine like get in give me my

fix get out I don’t know what you have

to stop for just a second that is like a

tweetable phrase right that was good I

tweeted it once I’ve been waiting for

like I’m not thousands of likes yeah I

have been waiting for timepieces Bella’s

god-sized hole and it just doesn’t work

doesn’t really and we think it will and

we keep piling them on top of each other

and that’s what you were doing yeah and

you and then did you find yourself

completely addicted to this lifestyle

and to pornography or promiscuity I

found myself completely exhausted yeah I

was just tired you know and still trying

to hold on to this thread of I’m a

virgin

I’m building a reputation I’m building a

list of individuals that could put up a

very different argument for my virginity

and purity you know and I honestly was

just losing myself and I was exhausted

and I was its the temporary pleasure

it’s the quick fix yeah and and you know

it helps somewhat numb somewhat aching

heart but eventually it leaves you void

okay at what point did you wake up and

go wait a minute this is not healthy

this is not okay and how did you work

your way out of it it’s because it’s one

thing to realize it it’s another to try

to figure out how am I gonna stop right

so I am another big piece of my

testimony was about a year after my

dad’s loss and really the depth of my

struggles I was just the cry of my heart

was God if you’re so real just wrecked

my life because I’m exhausted and I’m

I’m tired and he literally did so I was

in a horrific car accident and hanging

upside down in a ravine at 1:30 in the

morning I had never felt more

overwhelmed by the presence of a God who

said I will wreck your life for my glory

and he just he he shifted my heart it

was hard to explain life couldn’t

tangibly look the same after

encountering the presence of the Holy

Spirit and I started to you know you

step back into your normal life thinking

I have I have

I have come to know the Lord you know

life will be different but then you step

back into the rhythm of your sin yeah

because you think I’ll just go about my

normal life he was just about to ask

that because you still had to make

choices yay in and day out – you walk in

this brand-new freedom that you’ve been

given right what did it look like – to

be free not just to have experienced an

encounter with God but to not go back on

Tuesday and do the same thing I was

already doing right so I step back into

it and I very much tried and the true

conviction was overwhelming

particularly with the pornography you

know I hadn’t made the connection yet

but that was a spiritual rooted issue

and so the first time that I went back

to that after coming to know Christ

there was immediate conviction and

almost just my prayer really became God

give me eyes to see your people as you

see them give me a heart to break for

what breaks yours and just bind my heart

to thee and I would just repeat that

give me a heart to break for what break

shares and bind my heart to be and I

couldn’t look at those images without

physically if you have ill yeah

that is God’s child it’s not just

someone’s daughter it’s not just

someone’s mother it’s it’s not any of

those things it’s someone it’s one of

God’s creations and I can’t possibly

view these things and find any of the

same interest or stimulation when my

heart is literally breaking for the

individual this is really powerful what

you’re saying mo because what you’re

telling somebody is that God can

literally make you not want to look at

it anymore yes and I bet there would

have been a time in your life there’s

been a time in all of our lives it might

not be this exact same issue but there’s

been something we have wanted so much

that we never thought in a million years

we’d ever not want it anymore right but

the fact that you were willing it takes

a lot of courage to me to be able to say

okay I’m gonna actually pray that God

will help me not want something that I

actually really want you know to pray

that prayer takes courage but once you

start praying it you can believe that

God is powerful enough in fact I think

one of the biggest miracles often that

he does is not in our circumstances it’s

the miracles that he does

in our own heart in making our attitudes

change our desires change to where

you’re saying you’re looking at these

images you would have looked at the day

before the week before the month before

and all of a sudden there’s this

distaste that Wells up yeah in you and

I’m sure at some point in your journey

you thought that would never be

distasteful to you yeah I just never

realized how passionately and how

strongly I could feel for things you

know you sort of you live kind of Numb

until you come to know a life wrecking

life-saving King that makes you feel it

makes you know and I don’t know it was

it was just radical I think we serve a

radical God who if you cry out to him if

you come to his feet he doesn’t just

give lukewarm help and a little bit of

this or that if you are truly open and

submissive and yearning desiring deeply

for change oh man he comes like a raging

waterfall okay it’s it’s powerful and

it’s beautiful and a verse that I really

began to lean into that I’d heard my

whole life growing up in the church and

and in a Christian family I mean I had

heard love the Lord your God with all

your heart with all your soul with all

your mind

I heard that verse after truly coming to

know him and it became non-negotiable it

became so much more intense because God

is big and powerful and it was love the

Lord your God with all of your heart

that means guard your heart fiercely

love the Lord your God with all your

soul that means break these soul ties

surrender them to him love Lord your God

with all your mind that means take your

thoughts captive all of them every

single your preaching that girl I’m

gonna preach well that’s what God

changes your life you know it really

does make you want to tell other people

you really can’t be free yeah and here’s

how you can do it okay we’re get we’ve

got a closing a few minutes but I got to

ask you a question though I love you’re

a talker like me it’s a good news I’ll

ramble okay listen

you’ve been married yes how long I have

been married for almost eight months

okay he’s smoking hot Instagram and

sticker him at mo Isom the girls God is

good okay

here’s what I want to know where are you

worried that someone would never if you

were honest with them about all of this

struggle you’ve had since you were 7

mm-hmm

that they wouldn’t view you as pure they

wouldn’t view you as somebody who was

wife material I’m thinking about the

person who they don’t know if they

should be honest and they are really

genuinely worried that no one will ever

love them mm-hmm

if they’re if they reveal this struggle

because the pornography is such a man’s

we sometimes consider that to be such a

man’s issue right that for a woman it

seems like particularly dirty and

particularly unusual specially women

aren’t sexual beings as well exactly but

that’s just the stigma that the culture

has put on it yeah so you have a lot of

women that are a lot more quiet and

reserved about talking about this issue

because they’re worried that people are

never going to look at them the same

particularly that they’ll never be able

to have a loving authentic open

relationship with a guy that will want

to be their husband still right I was

terrified I was terrified even in

singleness to eventually have to share

with the man that you know hopefully I

would marry about my past and share

those scars and share those choices I

made many times totally terrified and

when I met Jeremiah there was such an

authentic presence of the Holy Spirit in

him that it invites vulnerability feels

safe it does and I opened up to him not

because he asked me to at no point did

he sit down and say what’s your number

tell me your list you know let’s go

through the pull out the blood

nitty-gritty exactly but one day I

remember sitting on on my front steps

and and I was like there’s something I

just I need to share with you and and I

kind of worried vomited all over him and

he he sat there for a second and this is

actually the conclusion of the blog if

you read Fifty Shades of grace on my

blog he sat there for

second I could tell that it was heavy on

him and you know he sighed and he looked

at me and he said has God forgiven you

have you sought forgiveness and and I

said yes many times and he says then why

do I have to hold against your hold over

you and I forgive you – that’s a good

man right that’s what I was like propose

I’m ready because it was he’s a good man

and I think that yes vulnerability is

terrifying

but it really is a key to walking down

the path to wholeness it is in health

and an issue like an authentic community

and authentic relationship and real love

not stimulating get your kicks now and

then it’s gone lust but a true authentic

deep love that it’s abiding that’s so

great you’re going to want to make sure

that you go look up fifty Shades of

grace if you have not already you want

to read this blog but not only that you

just want to get to know mo because her

whole story she just lives out loud if

you hadn’t been able to tell by the 30

minutes that we’ve been talking with

each other you can’t you you will be

able to know more and more about her if

you read more of her blogs more of her

stories more of a testimony that she

shares and her testimony really is one

of hope listen I want you to know this

is just part one of a conversation we’re

going to continue to have with mo along

with one of the most incredible young

women that I’ve ever met she works for

Teen Vogue lives right in the middle of

New York City and so she’s kind of got a

pulse on what’s happening with our

culture particularly young women and how

maybe the slight salacious appetite of

our culture really is affecting them and

what she’s seeing happening out there so

we’re just not add her right to this

conversation and content yet we’ve got a

nice little warm spot for right over

there by mo and we’re gonna have a great

conversation but for now would you just

please help me to thank mo for really

just sharing

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

you