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today as we start in this series we have
decided to limp in this series two more
weeks because as I started outlining the
rest of the six weeks I said I almost
better say and I really think that God
really has some more stuff to say about
things and relationships that we don’t
really talk about that really are
assumed that really we pray that our
relationships work but we do more
maintenance and healing than we do
preparation in relationships and so I
really want to help people win in
relationships because that’s what God
wanted to do that’s why he left us the
Bible that’s why she gave us the
institution of church to help us win in
relationship everybody say win in
relationship and so this week in
relationship goals we’re going to talk
about something that has gotten a really
bad rap like it’s something that when
you think about it it doesn’t even seem
appealing or good at all in most circles
but as I studied the Word of God it
really revolutionized my mind about how
important that this topic we’re about to
talk about is in every single person’s
life and the topic we’re going to talk
about today is singleness you see no
rules on that like Oh singleness mmm
that’s the mind now you said this was a
series on dating and marriage I’m
struggling in my marriage right now may
I suggest to you that it’s a singleness
problem what comes to mind I’ve got my
boyfriend here looking on even kind of
charge
and you’re gonna talk about singleness
I’m not even single anymore but your
singleness may be the issue in your
relationship so so today’s message title
is single but not alone okay so so I
want you to just sit with that for a
second single but not alone and as I
begin to look at what the Word of God is
about relationship
it started to literally stunned me how
much God talks about the individuals and
not the relationship when you come into
church you hear stuff like this marriage
is the cornerstone of the relationship
that God created for the human family
remember that all my life something like
that
but when I go back to the beginning the
first thing that God created was not
marriage so when I look at the landscape
everybody’s go or I’ll say most people’s
go is marriage in relationship that is
the ultimate goal that we come out there
when you see little kids and they’re
playing with Ken and Barbie there what
are they saying oh they’re going to get
married and we learn this society-wide
we learned this from church culture you
woke up into a church and be 25 30 35
and ain’t you ain’t got nobody and they
look at you what’s wrong with you
everything okay
now I’ve been seeing you spend a lot of
time with your friend your own what kind
of relationship do you and your own have
mothers say to their sons come on and
get married I need grandkids before I
die we say stuff we say stuff that
allows people to feel that somehow in my
single state I may not be enough like if
I’m not married I’m not enough and and
God knows the desires of your heart so
I’m not trying to get anybody to think
um that that God doesn’t want them to be
married and that that you can’t have a
loving relationship and that which you
dream about and see but I just want I
want to be real with you this this
morning and I want to let you know that
singleness may be the most important
time of your life the space where you
are not responsible for anybody else
except yourself the problem is most of
us negate that season trying to get to a
preferred future that we don’t know
about you see the look of marriage you
see the appeal of marriage you see the
pictures of marriage you see the pic but
you don’t know what it takes to do that
you assume you know what it takes and I
begin to do some research off 50% of
marriages in America end in divorce
I didn’t say 15%
50 percent ending divorce what does that
mean pastor might that would be the same
thing as your flight attendant telling
you that this plane has a 1 out of 2
chance of getting to our next
destination how often would you fly do
you understand what I’m saying this
there’s a 50% chance this thing is gonna
crash and burn and you go die but so
many people go into marriage so
haphazardly Hasina a fine and look like
damp haze live just what I trained but
you looked on the outer you didn’t know
what was on the inside and see this is
the thing about marriage is it such a
strong covenant that God tries to
convince us not to do it unless you know
that’s what you’re supposed to do and
most of us are so sick of singleness
that we think that marriage will solve
our loneliness problem oh I’m coming to
somebody’s house today see you sick of
you
so you think you and somebody else is
gonna make you better but they figure
themselves too so both y’all about to
just be sick didn’t say what I’m saying
because you think or you thought and if
married people were honest in this room
you see how quiet everybody is that like
nobody does everybody’s home a spouse
just type live but we’re coming to give
truth so it will set you free
okay what ends up happening is that most
people get into marriage and they try to
figure out their singleness because they
never took the time to be single so
they’re trying to figure out how to be
married and be single and it never will
work see because when you when you get
into marriage then there’s conditions
that you have to do as the husband that
you have to do as the wife and but you
do your own thing you got your own car
you I in de Indy okay you’re independent
I understand okay I understand that you
you got all that but you were supposed
to be all that before you became one oh
so you’re mad now because you just can’t
spend your money anyway you want to but
that’s not your money anymore it’s
y’all’s money for this reason should a
man leave his wife and the two become
you mad because you didn’t take time and
figure out you single and when you don’t
know you you won’t pick right because
you’ll pick what you think you won’t
and you have no basis on it because you
have not had the time to figure you out
now some people are in this room like
present like it’s too late for me here
she is
I get it now I understand I’ve been made
for do you thank me let me help you
you’re stuck I’m not about to give you
no type of remedy to that you’re stuck
unless adultery is committed now this is
the one reason God gives for divorce not
we’ve grown apart
this is going to be tight in here I’m
gonna need police escort as we leave
y’all help me not we don’t relate
anymore not even he hit me I don’t
condone that the Bible says leave the
house Oh y’all about to be real mad if
y’all don’t resolve ival but that’s not
the reason to leave the marriage see
what happens is is that because people
go into marriage so haphazardly they
think they can get out of it so
haphazardly but when you get into
marriage that’s why divorce is so
detrimental because it’s the ripping
away of souls it’s not just when I
connected body it literally my mind will
and emotion was connected with that
person now to get a divorce we are
ripping that apart that’s why divorce is
the worst death to ever have it’s worse
than actual death Oh
Pastor Mike I promise you it is why it’s
because when somebody actually dies
there’s closure you can bury him
you can cry you can grieve and it’s over
with divorce it is a perpetual death cuz
every time you see them it’s a
resurrection
of your emotions I can’t I can’t believe
I wasted all that time on him I can he
gonna be sitting over there where you
are having a good day until this you
have to talk about finances and alimony
and kids and all these different things
see some of you are so ready to get
married before you do you need to talk
to somebody who’s been divorced cuz they
will tell you don’t do this if you don’t
know that this is what you’re supposed
to do and even see some of y’all looking
at me like that’s not scriptural what
are you talking about Paul told us go to
first Corinthians for all the haters in
the building go to first this okay I’m a
backup and do something first
because I need you to see it and I want
to give it to you lovingly first see
this this series is to help you it’s not
to leave you in the dark and the enemy
has been tricking so many of you because
you don’t have knowledge you don’t
understand you don’t know the Word of
God so you’re getting things asking God
to bless it and he said that’s against
my formula
like I can’t bless what I gave less that
you missed it so I’m trying to show you
the keys in the Word of God that will
give you the formula that God can bless
so go to Matthew 22 because when I
started thinking about singleness and
all this other stuff I said okay god
you’re going to have to give me a
formula to explain this to people he
said I got you he said they were asking
him teacher which is the most important
commandment in the law of Moses
jesus replied you must love the Lord
your God with all your heart all your
soul and all your mind that was the
expected one that was doing when they
were like yeah I got that I love you
Jesus there’s no one else like you they
didn’t they didn’t see this next part
coming and second as equally important
so it could have said one and one a not
really second because he put it on the
side he said
of the Lord your God with all your heart
your mind your soul but as equally
important that that’s really not
debatable it’s as equally important I
want you to see this he says love your
home neighbor but there’s a prerequisite
to loving your neighbor you miss it we
focus so much on loving our neighbor but
you can only love your neighbor at the
level that you love so you can’t figure
out how to love somebody else in a
relationship if you have not figured out
how to love yourself in singleness and
how many of us have skipped that process
and tried to learn how to love somebody
else it’s the wrong formula God has
priority to what he does so what’s the
priority love God love yourself then
love others let’s do it again love God
love yourself then love others the
reason you don’t know how to give a
compliment to her because you’ve always
felt low self-esteem and insecurity
about you my head look at these feet so
I was 13 I can’t run those skinny jeans
I’m sure I’m fat I’m tall I’m skinny you
have never been alone long enough to
love you so the first thing you do when
you get in relationship is you pick out
everything wrong with them cuz you’ve
never heard learned how to love you
you’ve never been isolated enough to get
okay with who God created you to be
and so when you don’t understand your
singleness you take it into the marriage
trying to make them your make up for
what’s the fishing in you so you put an
unrealistic expectation on another
jacked up human being and you’re mad all
the time because I don’t feel good
enough I’m not enough and you were
supposed to make me good enough and your
hair ain’t Q to nothing and you put on
some weight it doesn’t matter they’ll
never be able to feel the emptiness that
you never became okay with and let God
feel when it was supposed to be you in
him and I know this is over some of
y’all’s hear y’all was like I just was
trying to come here and see if I could
find me one I was trying to see what she
in here she is but she can’t see you how
you are you don’t you don’t look like
what you will look like once you get the
revelation and so she got blinders on to
how you are now but if you would allow
God to have you in a place of singleness
to creating you the character the work
ethic the intelligence the emotional
health that it takes to be in real
relationship I promise you God will
allow the right person to come around
passing like why you say persons because
God doesn’t choose your wife for you and
God doesn’t choose your husband for you
all pals are like the devil is alive
no no no no no I got a prophetic word
March 26 2014 God said he was gonna be
tall like God said he was gonna be paid
laughs God say okay I hear these words
all the time but this is the thing that
you have to understand the greatest
thing that’s more important than
marriage that’s more important that is
your salvation and if God would not make
you be saved he set it all up and he
said whosoever will you still have to
even win Adam he made Adam he said that
he presented Eve the Greek word there
means he paraded her by life you like
this you’re like this you’re like this
that’s what it actually means because he
still had choice and so what many of us
are doing is thinking that God is going
to assign this person to overlook all
your dumb myth all your not preparing
all of your everything and and their
mind God assigned them to me they will
be like I don’t choose you and I’m
trying to help people no that’s why your
state of singleness is so important not
just to you but to God because he wants
to give you vision in that time he wants
to give you purpose in that time he
wants you to know who you are without a
person because if you don’t know that it
will put you on a spin to always be
needing someone else to validate who
God’s created you to be
can I can I bust your bubble you can
reach purpose without being married
Jesus did it I’m all up in your religion
right now like there’s people in here
that are like oh my god Paul did it why
are you saying this person like because
I don’t want you my big goal on all of
this I’m going to talk about marriage
and dating and all that in the next
couple weeks I think I’m gonna get pass
to Natalie to preach with me on marriage
I think we’re gonna go in there again
okay open your glass oh I’m going to
talk about all this but what I want you
to realize more than anything if you’re
in this room and you’re not married
so you’re still single if you’re engaged
are all still single if you’re still
single if you’re dating you’re still
single if you’re courting you’re still
single if you think we do you understand
what I’m saying you’re still single but
I’m trying to encourage you there’s
nothing wrong with the season that God
has you now hear me this goes against
everything you’ve been told up into this
point you 34 you should be married what
a house in a collar an adult
I mean isn’t this the narrative that
keeps playing but Jesus did equal to
loving me as you need to learn how to
love yourself and then you can take from
the extension of loving leader and
loving yourself then you can pour out
oil and love somebody else may I submit
to you that the problem in our society
is not a relationship problem
it’s a singleness problem and until
people get ok being single to love God
and to love themselves their
relationships will always be the place
where they try to get fulfillment that
can never come from that relationship
and I want you to understand my first
point is it’s more important to be
single than it is to be married ok write
it down it’s more important to be single
than it is to be married in the
beginning
God did not create marriage first he
created a single human being if we look
at this building what’s the first thing
they did to create this building they
laid a foundation you don’t see the
foundation you don’t even hear the
foundation no nothing but if the
foundation was not there this entire
building would collapse I want to tell
you about what I call the prerequisite
for divorce that’s my why you talk about
divorce so much right now imagine I want
you to know that your singleness is so
important that you want to avoid getting
into relationships that will not succeed
because divorce is the worst thing that
can happen to anybody
relationally will pass Michael in their
life after divorce yes there is and
we’re going to talk about that and we’re
going to help you walk through that but
I promise you if you can avoid this pits
all you want to do you know how many
people we counsel who are broken
children of people who got divorced and
they parents on the christmas card look
at my family they’re so awesome i do
want to send in text that a kids balled
up crying on the floor be
of your decisions and you not making the
proper effort that you needed to do to
make sure you were in your right place
before you invited him into this
relationship and because you were lonely
then you have sex if you had kids
because you wanted to feel wanted
because he stopped blowing you because
he told you in the dating relationship
that he didn’t really want you but you
were so eager to get in a relationship
so you got in a relationship and then
you didn’t feel enough so you had a baby
so your whole attention became about the
baby and because your whole attention is
about the baby
he doesn’t feel wanted so he steps out
of the relationship and goes and bees
with her and then is broken and that’s
one scenario of a million because we
think singleness is not necessary we
think marriage is the ultimate goal now
and it could be your ultimate goal and
God wants that for you if you want it
for yourself but don’t go into this
haphazardly don’t look for a boyfriend
so you can say that your Facebook
official
don’t don’t don’t do that I had a girl
come up to me one time and just saying
it just feels like it’s not for me to be
in a relationship I mean she did just
like that just like it just feels like
it
it’s time for me to be in a relationship
I said why I’ve been single two years I
mean that’s a long time Pastor Mike this
time and I told her I said don’t do that
I said I really feel like God’s trying
to supply you with some stuff right now
it’s trying to create you mold you all
that other stuff I want you to be man I
know that it’s going to happen for you
you’re beautiful you’re talented you’re
gifted God’s going to do that but just
don’t don’t just don’t just just because
if you go into it like that you’ll treat
it like that you end up in a marriage
like that and then you’ll think divorce
is like that it see it’s all easy this
y’all going to be walking around it but
here here what I’m saying to you hear
what I’m saying to you is that there’s a
prerequisite for divorce can I explain
it to you okay you can’t get divorced if
you don’t get married do we agree okay
you can’t get married
cannot get married unless you’re
individuals agreed okay so the
prerequisite for divorce is marriage and
the prerequisite for marriage is
singleness what are you saying faster my
point number two marriage is only as
good as your singleness like like if
your singleness is not a good foundation
your marriage ain’t gonna be the thing
that builds the house see you by
yourself how you feel by yourself how
you look at the world by yourself what
you do by yourself
it’s the foundation and whoever you are
that’s who you’re bringing to the
marriage you don’t get change because
you got finer than you ever did for one
day in a white dress and Mac makeup your
makeup was beat and you got all your
subs your eyebrows on fleek and you got
your suit Ian you finally fit in that
don’t change your inside so for that day
it’s great it’s a fairy tale it’s
awesome it’s momentous it’s dreamy it’s
magical but then next week when you move
to my toothbrush
what I’m sorry sweetie why did you move
my toothbrush did you use mushrooms
Broadstreet
no no your didn’t you hear what I’m
talking about why people get divorced
when the seeds of these things start is
because they never really knew what they
were getting into okay so I’m trying to
help you right here marriage is only as
good as your singleness let me ask you a
question if they knew whoever you’re
trying to get in relationship with if
they knew you how you know you would
they want to be married to you no no no
I’m talking about you I’m talking about
how you you notice stuff do you do that
don’t nobody else know you do you know
how messy you are you know how anal you
are about some stuff you know that some
people got a five-second rule you got a
five-minute rule we all have things that
people don’t know but if they knew you
like you know you would they still marry
you because that’s what the process is
supposed to look like when you come into
marriage can I give you something that
changed my whole life marriage doesn’t
improve your singleness it exposes it
i’ma say it again cuz y’all missed it
marriage doesn’t improve your singleness
people think that marriage is the
upgrade for them to become something
better all that thing is gonna do is
pull back the sheet on who you really
are so you have to make sure that your
preparation in the time of being single
is one that is intentional where we do
what spend time with God spend time with
yourself and then you can be focused on
loving them when the last time you went
to the movie by yourself when the last
time you took yourself on a date
[Music]
some of y’all like that didn’t even make
sense does it say myself on a date just
go somewhere you ain’t never been before
and eat and think about your life and
ask yourself questions why did I respond
like that find out about you can I give
you two of the most amazing words that
you can ever have whether you’re single
to married but will real help you in
your singleness self-aware
self-awareness is one of the biggest
epidemics in the world like you don’t
know how you make everybody else feel
you don’t know that you think like we
all smelled it you like you like it’s
like like like you ain’t even there like
he was here with me like we can smell
with you you live with that the same way
we can smell you in the natural that’s
what gossip smells like in the spirit we
can smell your bad character we we get
to see your fruit drop and it’s bitter
like you’ve gotta become self-aware in
your singleness so that you know what
you’re bringing to the marriage most
people they don’t realize that nothing
happens in marriage except exposure just
please write that down
I can’t hide nothing from my life like
even when I remember this certain time
I’m just going to go we’re a hot church
humble open and transparent I’m gonna
just go ahead and Kelly I’ll remember
this one time you know I’m a boy and I
don’t know if it’s just me but as a
young man there were times where you
know I went to in three days without
taking a shower
you can say – but your man did it – not
so quick I just plan he did but so I got
married when I was 23
okay now I’ve lived with people but I
didn’t never live with nobody that saw
me getting out the shower do you
understand what I’m saying and I didn’t
know that people calculate it how many
times that you get in and you get out of
this I just didn’t know like I was never
there is this like yeah okay yeah and
how do you know if I get in and out of
charm maybe I did a washer some of y’all
know about washer sorry I’ll be a fake
but some of y’all really know what I’m
talking about my wife came to me one day
and you know you’re newly married
everything is the right time and I came
up top I got give me kids and she’s like
oh I mean Hollis was so excite I
remembered to sing along and I’ll say
hey girl what you trying to do
she said nothing until you take a shower
and didn’t begin to tell me it’s been
four days since you I how did you know
how did you know she could smell me but
more than that she was there I was
exposed and where I could usually lie or
slither my way out of it if I was not in
covenant with somebody the Covenant
makes you have to be x4 how was Adam and
Eve found in the garden make it they
were single people who were exposed they
had nothing to hide so their singleness
how they really were could not be hidden
my question to you is what are you
hiding from everybody else
that your mate will find well we’ve been
married 10 years you don’t know
keep being married she’ll find it my
wife has been able to point out
insecurities in my life that I didn’t
even know was there
oh you’re comparing yourself with them
why talk about they doing a thing I’m
doing my thing okay
and it’ll be like the most random moment
where I’m things you say right there
Leigh is like she picked up from a six
weeks ago and she’s like that bit
you’re comparing us on like that I will
why because God gives the anointing to
your spouse to expose and uncover
anything that’s not like him so if you
don’t work on the in your singleness you
will be frustrated in your marriage
which will lead you to divorce that will
be the death that never in that’s why I
Malachi the Bible says I am the Lord
your God and I hate divorce hear what
I’m saying to you Church marriage does
not improve your singleness it exposes
it go to Ecclesiastes 3 and I want to
read a couple of verses because this is
my encouragement today I just came to
encourage every single person don’t jump
into marriage because the married people
we don’t have to have two weeks for them
for all the craziness that they going
through and won’t even say a man to
because it’s that real you have people
that are in marriages because they’re
better business arrangements it’s more
convenient financially than to get a
divorce and that’s not what God wanted
for every person and he can turn it
around hear me when I say that if
there’s only one person that can turn
marriages and relationships around it’s
not our government it’s not just
counseling it’s going to be Jesus
intervening in those situations and
getting the heart of an individual see
some of y’all are mad because God ain’t
spoke to him he won’t even come to
church with me he won’t even do that and
God says that the the stance of one
woman in a saved household can turn the
entire household if the stance of one
minute why because in the beginning he
did not make Adam and Eve’s marriage he
made male and he made singles
and when he made singles that’s how you
want to do to develop so that they could
really be run so I want to let you know
that there’s a time in a season for
everything you’ve heard this but I want
you to know there’s a time and a season
for your singleness for everything there
is a season a time for every activity
Under the Sun a time to be born a time
to die a time to plant and a time to
harvest a time to kill and a time to
heal a time to tear down and a time to
build up a time to cry in a time to
laugh a time to grieve in a time to
dance a time to scatter stones in a time
to gather stones a time to embrace and a
time to turn away a time to search and a
time to quit searching I said a time to
search in a time to quit searching I
said a time to search and I said a time
to quit sir some of you are so occupied
with finding him yo Boaz some of y’all
looking for your proverbs 31 warming and
literally you can walk into any room
with girls and they were on my proverbs
31 said and they like but y’all haven’t
studied a that woman was a boss like the
proverbs 31 woman was so focused on
purpose and doing think she even need no
man assuming all around her so thirsty
I don’t see you make it with your
clothes on
oh I know every crease and dimple every
I’ve seen it only you showed it to me on
Instagram hear what I’m saying to you
you only get preoccupied of showing off
what you have when you’re not working on
what you have on the inside of you and
if you’re cultivating and moving what
God has placed on the inside of you I
ain’t got time to be taking selfies the
wet
I got work in my field I’m doing what
God has called me to do and I’m running
that race so hard and then God will
speak to me say look over and you’ll
find a man that’s running as hard as you
oh yeah you start don’t stop running for
him you gotta keep running and we God
says look there he is but what we see
the women of God slowing down to take
care of a grown child
oh Jesus held me but he got potential
but he hasn’t cultivated it and what was
God’s instructions in the garden for
main cultivate in this work this
dominate this can I give you taping we
and even talking about dating yet but if
he ain’t working nothing you got to stay
away can I help you because let me say
it like this because if you take two
eggs and one of them is rotten and you
cook them together the omelets still bad
what we try to do is take a good egg
pure intentions right your mind said
Jesus on the mainline tell them what you
want and then we bring a bad egg when he
just got potential he just had a rough
pass and I can fix him and I can I can
do all of this and he’s supposed to
teach you to work he’s supposed to lead
you how can you have somebody leading
you and fellas the time for passive
relationship and passive leadership is
over you own two K all day you plant
video games
[Applause]
you with your boys all day pro you need
to be working something tending to
something getting your education
standard let’s start the business fail
at a business start another one why
because I’m tending to but to looking
for him cuz he fine and he got light see
this is the trick of the enemy though
because you buy something that looks
good in the store but it has no
functionality in real life but it was a
final sale
so you commit to something you can’t
take back and now you’re mad cuz you
gotta stay with it
just come on let’s be honest but it’s
because people did not value their
season of singleness there’s so many
other things but I just want you to tell
you there’s a time and a season skip
down in ecclesiastics 3 and go down to
verse 9 just go to verse 11 let’s don’t
got time said yet God has made
everything beautiful everything
beautiful for its own time he’s planted
eternity in the human heart but even so
people cannot see the whole scope of
God’s work from the beginning to the end
so I’m concluding there is nothing
better than to be happy and enjoy
ourselves as long as we can and people
should eat and drink and enjoy the
fruits of their labor these are gifts
from God like this point down it’s okay
to be single but not good to be alone
it’s okay to be single but it’s not good
to be alone
well Pastor Mike I feel like you’re
you’re hitting us on a technicality
right now because last week you said
that in Genesis chapter 2 verse 18 you
said it’s not good for man to be alone
that’s very true you need to know what
that word means because we think it
means lonely we think it means it’s not
good for a man to be lonely can I give
you the definition of lonely because
this is what we think when somebody says
all they’re all alone they really have
in their mind a definition of lonely
which means lonely is the state hold on
well man help me Jesus
give me one second my computer just
glitched out on me alright I’m not
supposed to say that man there it is
okay
lonely if sad because one has no friends
or company without companions of
solidarity so this is what we think it’s
not good for a man to be alone
oh he’s alone the Hebrew word for alone
means all in one it’s not good when he
looked that man he said it’s not good
for a man to be all in one so what did
he do he took the man and he took out of
the man a woman a man with a womb
okay I want you to see what happens here
so he made man not all in one okay I
want you to see this so it’s not good
for man to be all in one so we’re not
why we need accountability we need
somebody to help us we need we need to
be surrounded in relationship great but
this is the thing that I want everybody
to see alone is not the same thing to
single single look at the definition
because this was God’s idea he made male
and female single means separate apart
and detached different it means unique
original and distinct special it means
whole everybody shot at me whole God
wants us to enjoy a season in our life
without anybody else where we are Oh
complete unified one with ourselves to
be one what I came to tell you is that
the more single you become the better
your marriage will be the more unique
the more whole the more different
separate than everybody that’s what God
wants for you he’s put in you a specific
DNA that you have not given him the time
to reveal to you
please let God reveal to you who he’s
created you to be I know you want to be
married I know you want to be Buddha I
know you don’t want to spend Valentine’s
alone in this February for what is the
time and season that God has you in is
developing your singleness so that you
can be everything he’s created you to be
and reach purpose hear me people dating
listen to me you need to ask God is this
even worth my time right now hear me
because many of the things that we do
and we long for are a waste of time what
the enemy cannot destroy he distracts
hear me what the enemy cannot destroy he
distracts and many of us have been
distracted in wrong relationships and
that don’t even have to be a sexual
relationship or that can be friends what
he cannot destroy he will distract you
with people and things and situations
around you know that God wants to use
this season last point this is for
everybody in this room maximize your
singleness this I was telling some guys
the other day when you don’t have nobody
you’re responsible for it this is time
you can do stuff that will set you up
for your future like you don’t have
nobody telling you that you have to be
somewhere to change somebody’s diaper
you can perfect what God has placed in
your hands and we squander it on trying
to fit in with people we won’t even know
ten years from now I will give you a
prime example in my life I stopped
playing basketball when I was in the
ninth grade
not because I couldn’t play it was
because I had found a piece of my
purpose and music I quit everything you
can ask my parents I stopped playing
basketball the coaches would come in ask
me man come play basketball we
– did items like nope I’m really going
to focus on music for the next four and
a half years okay I was in a
relationship but I was still single let
me help you you can you can talk to
people and be around people and hang out
with people but guess what you’re still
single and we don’t get that in today’s
culture if I’m dating you I’m married to
you oh this is what we think and even if
we don’t think it this is this is how we
act if we recording we are men oh I I
have not committed to shut everything
down that I’m doing to become one with
you because that’s what happens when you
get married and the marriage has to
become one so my purpose has to align
with their purpose and their dreams and
goals have to line my with their why are
you asking them that after y’all married
hear what I’m saying maximize your
singleness I don’t care if you’re 48 in
girl going on vacation by yo so get the
big floppy hat the big one walk out
there do do your thing why because
you’ll never get this time back again
customize this just not deep enough for
me you want me to come out to service
and do this hear me when you get into a
relationship and you’re in counseling
the first thing I’m gonna ask you is
what you’re doing your single life what
was your devotion life like in your
single life how much did you pray when
you were single because you got all the
time in the world why I feel like I
don’t know what to do tonight I’m gonna
go to the movies I’m going to go to this
it spend time with God get to know
yourself and then you will have the
capacity to love others what do you
saying as my dad’s not everybody’s story
does not everybody’s testimony I know
but the results of not spending proper
time single always ends up the same and
hurt people hurting people
I’m like how do you know I counsel them
all the time I’m up here praying which
all all the time
we’re getting called last night I’m
thinking about committing suicide why
pastor might because we’ve let other
people define who we’re supposed to be
when it was supposed to be just us and
God and if you could just get into place
where it’s just you and God and you
learn how to love you
flaws and all and you start running
after purpose and you become who God’s
created you to be
you won’t marry a counterfeit because
you’ve worked too hard on you you’re
worth more now see when you think
somebody’s going to complete you you
hurry to get with them but when you’re
complete by yourself you can be choosy
ah nah baby i love you you find but you
can’t leave me you know what you have
everything that i really would like
except you haven’t let god do with those
insecurities and when we come together
and consummate our marriage what’s in
you automatically spiritually transfers
to me Oh y’all don’t think so
oh there’s such thing called a soul tie
that’s why you can’t just go around
having sex with everybody that’s a
protection mechanism not so that all
gods don’t want us enjoy if he will
whiny just give us our parts on our
marriage day I had somebody to ask me
that one tufflips why wouldn’t he just
give us our private areas when we got
married like they just boom just
appeared I said because he’s trying to
teach you one of the fruits of the
spirit self-control and he knew he was
gonna mess up and you was gone saying
that’s why sin his son that’s why I his
grace poured out over you but do we use
his grace as if it’s worth nothing know
that’s what Galatians tells us we have
to learn and progress and go and
it’s just because many of us didn’t stop
and recognize the time in the season God
has a sin next week we’re gonna talk
about dating and courting and all that
other stuff but I came to encourage
somebody this might not have been for
everybody but I promise you God spoke to
you something but there’s some people in
this room who have been discontent with
the season of singleness that they’re in
and I came to encourage you that there
is nothing more precious than this time
where you get to be with just you and
God and you learn how to love yourself
maximize your singleness every young
lady hear me every young man hear me
maximize your singleness when I was in
that season of just perfecting myself I
worked on my gift so much but I was able
to at a time where most people had to go
work for people I was able to start my
own company and I’ve never had a real
job
until I came to work for transformation
church and miss Tammy will tell you how
hard of a transition that’s been for me
what are you saying Pastor Mike I
maximized my singleness and I found some
a part of my purpose a lot of us are
looking for something that will never
come until we take the time to enjoy the
season that we’re in I want to pray for
you I want to pray for every person no
matter what season of life you’re in
some of you who are married or hearing
this marriage and say okay I need to I’m
in this thing I can’t go nowhere I’m
stuck in this but we’ve been struggling
in this God maybe there’s some things in
me not them because the thing in
marriage is you tend to blame the other
person when you’re in in a place but
really that person is a reflection of
you if you’re married to him so they’re
trying to show you something about you
so every time I’m tripping at nalli why
can’t you just be on this and why can’t
you dot out about God’s plan I’m trying
to show you you maybe there’s some areas
in your singleness that God needs to
work on
father I’ll pray for every person under
the sound of my voice that God you’re
about to allow us to appreciate the
season that we got I pray for for every
person who is single in this place that
is not married god I thank you that
they’re single but they’re not alone
they’re not all in one you you have you
have created community for them you’ve
created a place a church where they can
be around people God you’ll send people
around them to encourage them father but
they they’re learning to be content with
you and who you’ve created them to be
father let us not skip the step that
will save us from divorce let us not
skip the step that will save us from
heartache God I’m praying that our
relationship goals would be based off of
your word that they wouldn’t be based
off of emotions or feeling because they
can lie to us but they will be based off
the truth of what your word says father
you told us that we’re supposed to love
you as the number one commandment and
just as equally we’re supposed to love
ourselves so that we can love others
teach us how to do that in priority let
us build a solid foundation so that our
relationships will succeed I speak over
this group of people watching and
listening that their relationships will
succeed God that you are supernaturally
giving them instructions of what to do
to turn it around in the name of Jesus
every broken relationship every person
that’s in I’m walking through a strained
relationship every person father God
that’s in the season of divorce god I’m
just thinking that you can turn it
around but you’re not going to start
with us you’re going to start with one
and I thank you that you change us as
individuals and may we always be
perfecting our relationship with you so
that you can make us who were supposed
to be in Jesus name we agree amen give
God some praise in this place amen