Today we continued in our new series called, “FU” or “Forgiveness University.” Online classes are now in session and we are ready to learn about forgiveness. In the fifth week of this series, Pastor Michael taught us that in order to forgive others, we must first forgive ourselves. He provided us with an acronym that makes this process practical:
this is week five
of a series we’re calling i need
everybody in the building to help me say
f u and that stands for forgiveness
university
and i’m glad to let you know right now
that you have made it
to the halfway point of this series
and that means that it’s time to start
putting what we’ve learned into action
we have spent the last four weeks
setting a foundation
for forgiveness setting an understanding
of what forgiveness is what it isn’t how
it’s supposed to move and how it’s
supposed to be used
in our lives and the one thing i can sum
all of that up with
is this one definition that i keep
giving to every person every week
forgiveness is a primary
spiritual discipline of every christ
follower
do not claim christian and you do not
forgive
i need to be that clear it may be hard
for you to do right now
that’s why you’re enrolled in this
course right now it may be difficult
because of what you’ve gone through
but do not claim christian and think
that you can hold
everybody accountable for what they’ve
done for you
all your life and never release anybody
you have to forgive and the reason that
i’m saying that to you is because in
church
all my life forgiveness was said so much
that it lost its power
oh i need to forgive them i’ma be mad
for a little bit but then i’ll forgive
them
come on let’s be honest it’s like yeah
i’m just working on forgiving
but nobody actually did it they just
said they were gonna do it or
said they needed to do it we were never
taught how to do it that’s why i’m doing
10 weeks on this series
because it is a primary spiritual
discipline of every believer and
somebody’s saying well pastor mike what
is forgiveness let me give you
a definition of forgiveness take me to
the big board please
forgiveness is the intentional everybody
say intentional
and voluntary say voluntary
so it has to be on purpose and nobody
can make you do it
it is the intentional and voluntary
process by which
a victim that means it’s legitimate they
messed you over
they did something wrong they abused
their power it is legitimate
you are the victim i don’t want to take
that away from anybody because a lot of
times
people get offended and they don’t want
to forgive because they want
the person to know that what happened to
them is legitimate what i’m telling you
it did happen it is legitimate you were
wronged
you were violated so you as the victim
you undergo a
change or a transformation
in your feelings an attitude regarding
an
offense so they did it and they offended
you
and because of the power of jesus christ
you
overcome negative emotions such as
resentment
and vengeance god wants you to realize
that forgiveness is not for them
forgiveness
is for you and most people don’t
understand that they feel like they have
a power over somebody i ain’t forgiving
you
you ain’t never coming to this family
reunion again you are never gonna and
it’s like yo
they are living their life not even
thinking about you
and you’re trapped in this whirlwind of
thoughts
some of y’all got people on your
instagram and facebook feed right now
that are twisting you around in all
kinds of frustration
because you’re like how they on vacation
they don’t remember what they did to me
how they wish me happy birthday they
don’t remember what they think
they don’t even think about it and
you’re trapped in this because you have
not
experienced forgiveness and
god wants you to be free
and so last week again we got an
understanding proverbs 4
7. it says wisdom is the principle thing
therefore get wisdom
and in all you’re getting get an
understanding so last week we got an
understanding
now i want to move us into wisdom and
wisdom is applied knowledge
so now that we understand it it’s time
to apply it okay
now i want to let everybody know i told
you for four weeks i’m not gonna ask you
to forgive and some church people who
are used to everything happening in the
same service
you’ve been like when am i gonna forgive
when am i gonna forgive and you’ve been
trying to do it in your own way just let
the course finished
it’s been four weeks and i have not
asked anybody to forgive
anybody but today is your first day of
forgiveness
today i believe the understanding of it
is strong enough and if you haven’t
watched it go back and watch all four of
the other ones but today we’re going to
apply
what we have learned we’re going to walk
in everybody say wisdom
yep and i think that’s what the culture
is missing right now we have a lot of
information not enough wisdom
not enough applied knowledge and today i
want us to walk in wisdom
and so who are we gonna forgive pastor
mike i have so many people on my list
who am i gonna forgive my dad today my
mom my coworker that
really made a rude comment about my hair
and i really was going for that look
and i hate them now am i going to
forgive my teacher who smoke
down on me am i going to forgive my
spouse that person would probably be
good because we sleep in the same bed
and it’s just really been cold for the
past five years
am i going to forgive my siblings who
i’m not looking forward to going to
thanksgiving with them or christmas with
them
am i going to forgive even my pastor the
one who did the wrong thing to me
and and and used me for my gift but
didn’t see
my calling who am i going to forgive
today pastor mike none of them
the first person that you’re going to
forgive today
which is usually the last person that
you think about
today i want to say to you f you
forgive you
today i don’t want to talk about
forgiving
anybody else externally today i want to
talk about forgiving the one who it’s
the hardest to forgive
forgiving the one who was there
forgiving the one who sent the text
forgiving the one who made the inner vow
forgiving the one who made a timeline
and because of a decision that i made
i missed the opportunity that i thought
was going to change everything
and i’ve been silently holding myself
responsible
for not being in the place that i
thought i should be
today fu forgive you
why don’t we start with the person
that you would like to deflect the light
from
i just i just walked around for many
years
trying to get this concept for other
people
and i never gained the freedom for
myself
and i’m scared that too many people have
their list of people
that have wronged them and that they
want to forgive now
but then they can forgive all of those
people you’ve gone to the gravesite and
cried over the
over the um graveside and you’ve and
you’ve gone and written letters to them
and you’ve done all of these other
things and you still feel trapped
because the one person that you’ve never
forgiven is yourself
so we’re going to forgive mom and damn
we’re going to forgive pops we’re going
to forgive everybody that hated on us
but let’s start with forgiving
you look what the scripture says about
it and i want you
to write this point down because i think
this will help you
because there’s people right now that
this is it feels uncomfortable but i
promise you by the end of it
you’re going to know you’re worth being
forgiven selfish forgiveness
is the first step to selfless
forgiveness
selfish forgiveness talking about you
forgiving you
is the first step to actually being
selfless in forgiveness look what mark 8
36 says for what doesn’t profit a man
to gain the whole world have right
relationships with everybody else
everybody else has been forgiven
everybody else is walking in
relationship with you at a great level
and lose his own soul mind
will and emotions isn’t that where the
battle happens on the inside of me
in my mind my will and my emotion i be
seeing
people how many people right now talk to
yourself come on let’s be let’s be
honest come on
oh my god why did you even say that you
sounded like such a dweeb when you said
that
oh my god i look good today oh my god
like and you do all of this stuff
in your self-talk and if we were to play
out loud the dialogue you have with
yourself
you would be your worst critic
if we were to even the people who act
like they got it all together
and prideful and acting like they all of
that honestly all of that
is is a a a a mass for how you
actually feel about yourself and what i
found out in this
is that god doesn’t want you to forgive
everybody else and forget you
don’t forgive everybody else and forget
you
that’s why forgiveness is your key
somebody say forgiveness is the key
say it again forgiveness is the key let
me give them an
actual example see what what forgiveness
does is it locks you up
it puts me in the chains hold on one
second let me
wipe my thing okay it puts me in a
change go ahead
now ouch why you put me in like that
see the thing about this right now is i
can get an instruction lift your hands
and raise and praise god
yeah i’m i’m going to a limit
um tie your shoe
okay like basic
things i’m chained
but the crazy thing about forgiving you
is it doesn’t take anybody else to do
this work
it takes you because you have the key
like when he put the chains on me
i have the key so even though
i want to focus on what everybody else
needs i need to slow down enough to put
the key in
now i got the key no but you coming over
and you’re going to chain me again
you’re going to come back in here and
offend me again you’re going to come and
say something different
hold on before i act out of
what they did i got a key
i can actually forgive myself
for actually going to the party yeah
i know i want to i want to um talk about
the offense that happened
at the party but the problem is
if i wouldn’t have gone it would have
never happened
so i need to forgive me for even
deciding to go to that school
even choosing that degree even getting
married to that person
i need to let myself go for letting my
kids go spend the night at their house
they would have never been abused if i
would have said no
and what god is saying that even when
you forgive everybody else you can still
be sitting here
in prison because i did text back
i thought it was just gonna be a cute
little like i was just feeling better
bad about myself so i thought the
relationship was just gonna be like a
cute little thing that i could
you know i’m saying have on the weekends
and it turned into a three-year abusive
relationship
if i wouldn’t have been on instagram and
many of us
get external healings but we still have
internal failures
and so we never forgive ourselves for
the internal failures
but you have the key forgive yourself
let yourself go you don’t need your
husband to do this
you don’t need your kids to do this you
don’t need you don’t need
anybody you have
the key and
even though this hand is free this hand
still bears the scars
but i still have the key and i just came
to tell somebody by the spirit of god
that the things that have been holding
you i’m taking my time on this because
it’s going to take you a minute to
understand that you’re worth being
forgiven
the things that have been chaining you
god gives you the key it does not matter
if they bring another set of handcuffs i
still have the key
it doesn’t matter if i move to another
town and get in another job
and get offended the same way when they
put the cuffs on me
i can control forgiving myself somebody
say i got the key
say it again i got the key so what do
you want me to do pastor mike
forgive you first forgive you first
somebody needs to this week get on your
phone and i’m going to do this because i
had to do it
in one of the hardest places in my life
some of you know my testimony
but when when uh me and pastor now we
were high school sweethearts
i just feel like can i be raw today
charles can i just like
because this is not for the ones who
come just fanfare i’m trying to get
somebody changed
and transforming me and pastor nat
we’ve been together since i was 15 14
years old and
so what ends up happening in this moment
is i i come into relationship with her
and and we’re on our road to get married
in
and then i cheat on her
and i i literally sacrificed everything
that god gave me that was good for a
moment of pleasure
that ended up robbing me for years to
come
and i worked so hard on making the
relationship right with her
that i hated looking at me
like i was literally going through so
much
here’s my cell phone i’ll never do that
again that when i got by myself
i didn’t even like i remember not
looking myself
in the mirror or getting dressed in the
dark or being able because i didn’t want
to see what i caused myself
and i know everybody’s not there right
now but you might be in a different
season
and this word may help you what you need
to do this week
is look yourself in the mirror and you
need to get
your cell phone out and just say michael
i forgive you come on somebody needs to
do it right now get your cell phone out
see this is the first time because some
of you
when you look at you you see what you
did you see the guilt you see the shame
you see the pain you look at the
situation but go and get your cell phone
out right now and don’t look at me on
the screen look at yourself
and i want you to say that you forgive
yourself i forgive
you come on michael i forgive you say
your name
come on say it again michael
i forgive you do you know how awkward
this is for so many right now
what i’m trying to do is get you out of
hey
i need to forgive you do you see what
you did to me forgive me i want to
forgive you and god says turn it on you
i forgive you for answering that phone
call i forgive
you for actually doing the action i
forgive you for forfeiting
what god had for you in that season i
forgive
you and if i forgive you
what it does is remind me of how much i
need him
because i am projecting what other
people think about me
i know what you think about you i know i
know that everything that you did wasn’t
an accident
i know that you meant to do some of that
stuff
i know you planned it i know you have
thoughts that if she doesn’t sleep with
me tonight then you’re just gonna come
home and watch pornography and
masturbate
i know i know you
and today i’m forgiving you
i’m releasing you i’m taking back what
the enemy has tried to use
as a pawn to keep me in prison
and i’m submitting myself openly to god
and i’m telling you
that no matter where we are today i
forgive
you if we’re in a marriage that’s
horrible
i forgive you if we’re the one causing
abuse to somebody else
i don’t know if i can make it right with
them but today i gotta free you
i forgive you
i gotta see myself differently than i’ve
seen myself before
and today this may be the hardest step
of forgiveness
that i take but if i can get it right
with me
i so can get it right with them i
forgive you
where the organ where the shout ain’t
gonna be none of that
see because the intimacy that you have
to get in
to forgive yourself is one that
maybe they can’t be a lot of people
around for
see the thing that i need everybody to
understand is that forgiveness
taking this time and being selfish
enough
to say i need to forgive me allows you
to be reminded of what you actually
did and who you actually are and it does
something to you
it humbles you when i think about
who i really am at the heart level
without god
and what i’ve done and even though i
point the finger at everybody else
but i think about the times that i tried
to manipulate my way into situations and
try to
get this to happen and i hurt that
person and i intentionally made a joke
about them
because i felt insecure about myself so
let me make them feel bad about
themselves
to make me feel all the times i did it
on purpose
it makes me humbled
and this is one of the key ingredients
that’s missing from forgiveness
because you cannot forgive anybody else
in pride
to be forgiven and
understand all that you have done and
god
still says i forgive you it humbles you
it brings you lower it makes the self
less let me let me give you an example
since we’re in college
do y’all remember this symbol the less
than and greater than symbol do you all
remember that
and if it faces a certain way it means
less than and if it faces the other way
it means greater than when you actually
forgive you
and you get reminded of all the things
god said yeah i’ll forgive that
and i’ll let you free from that and i’ll
give you the key to let go of that
what ends up happening is self
is less needing an apology from them
so i want an apology but because i’ve
been humbled by the forgiveness that i
needed for me
myself is less than i don’t need an
apology i can release you
even if you don’t ever acknowledge that
you did it i feel the presence of god
coming
in this place to help somebody this is
why you got to forgive you first
because we have a plan of how we want it
to happen but what you got to know
is self has to be less than what’s the
next one
what people will think well if i just
let them go that they’re going to think
i’m weak and my mama raised me to be
hard you know i’m saying i’m a strong
single woman and i’ll bust your head
play nook if you buck if you want to
and see what i do stilettos pumps in
the club
and you do things come on let’s be
honest how many of us do things because
of what others think
and god says when you become humbled
before me and you realize how much
forgiveness you need
self is less than what people think
self becomes less than this is a big one
revenge
i’m gonna forgive them once they feel
what they did to me
and that i’m i’m going to intentionally
make them feel
how they made me feel and after i know
that their heart has been broken like my
heart do y’all know
that how many relationships especially
in marriage that when somebody cheats on
them then the spouse now cheats on them
that’s not because the spouse wanted to
cheat it’s because i’m not gonna forgive
you until you experience what i felt
and so self is not less than revenge
what is it
self is greater than
and this is where pride comes in and
god’s saying the reason you have to
start forgiving you because it makes you
aware of the forgiveness that you need
and it brings you low when i was in that
moment and i’m sitting there crying to
natalie
about how bad i messed up and how bad i
want her heart to trust me again
and that i know this is going to be a
process
self was less than anything else
the only way that i was able to forgive
me was to put myself
low and then i said god you’re gonna
have to help me
he said no i’m not you did what i said
in my word
you humbled yourself
he said this is the greatest thing any
believer
can learn is to humble yourself so i
don’t have to
i said you’re gonna have to give me
bible he said great i got it for you
he i want you to go to first peter 4 6
he said michael
when you forgive you you get humbled and
what you need to realize
i’m telling you humble yourself
humble you under the mighty hand of god
and then watch this and at the right
time
he will lift you up in honor they told
me this week
that relationship goals the book which
is based off of me and natalie’s
relationship
is the number nine top selling book
in the world out of every book that’s
been made
over two hundred thousand titles in
twenty twenty
let me help you understand that people
know me for my relationship now
that’s how they know me but
how how it started was in humility
we’re looking to be relationship goals
when god
says i need you to just humble yourself
i need you to get in a place where you
face what has happened
take ownership of that thing and you can
be able to humble yourself
and start with forgiving you write this
point down
forgiving you produces humility
and humility is required to forgive
anyone else
this is why i’ma see if people gonna
stay a part of this class
cause this one is gonna hurt to actually
look at what you have done and
not be prideful about it and put it on
them
well pastor you don’t understand my
situation i understand i don’t
understand your situation
but is there anything in you
that needs to be brought low
and this is the scripture that reminds
me all the time psalms 138 6
even though the lord is high above he
sees
humble people close up
if you’re humble close and he recognizes
arrogant people from a distance he still
recognizes you
but he’s further away and how many
people just raise your hand right now
need help for giving come on i need help
forgiving i need god
i need the holy spirit i need baby jesus
i need all of them i need
help forgiving well god says if you need
my help
he said you got to be humble so if you
need that help you got to get humble
if not you’re trying to get assistance
from a distance
this is how many people live their
christian life they don’t want to change
anything
they want salvation but they don’t
actually want to walk
in regeneration they don’t want to have
sanctification
they don’t want to walk worth anything
and so what they do is they say i’m
saved but god i need your help and he
said the sin in your life
the people you keep accusing the things
that you’re doing you don’t
put me close you put me at a distance
and i don’t know about you but if i’m
gonna actually be able to forgive
i don’t need assistance from a distance
i need god to be close to me
for the things that i have to forgive
for
i need him to be close humility produces
closeness with god
some of you right now don’t even want to
accept this word you’re thinking like
what’s td jake talking about what’s
steven furtick talking about and this is
the word
that you need right now to be able to
get
off of everybody else externally
and deal with you somebody say i’m going
to forgive me
mark 12 30. thank you holy spirit
and you must love the lord your god with
all your heart all your soul
all your mind and all your strength
secondly
and it’s equally important love your
neighbor
as you
love your neighbor as you no commandment
is greater than these okay pastor mike
you’re saying i gotta love my neighbor
what does it mean to love i’m glad you
asked let’s go to first corinthians 13.
love is patient kind it does not envy it
does not boast it is not
proud it is not rude it is not
self-seeking
it is not easily angered can we stop
there no we got to keep going
it keeps no account of wrong
love forgives love takes no pleasure and
evil
but rejoices in the truth i came to tell
somebody that you need to forget the who
and you need to focus on you
forgive you f you
forgive yourself for making that inner
vow that you would be married by 26
and now you’re 32 and you feel like if i
would have just done this this could
have happened
forgive yourself for the personal
promise that you broke i’m gonna be a
virgin
until i get married and it was that one
night at prom that you decided to do
this thing
and it happened and then it spiraled
into habits that now are your lifestyle
forgive you for your predetermined
deadlines that you set that by this time
i’m gonna be a millionaire and now every
moment after that time is miserable
because of something not god said but
you said forgive yourself for taking
advantage of people in situations
some of you were manipulators of
situation manipulators of your parents
manipulators or boyfriends and
girlfriends or co-workers forgive you
for the immaturity some of us have just
made dumb decisions because we didn’t
know
can we be honest there were some dumb
things that i did just because i was
immature and those immaturities had
real-life adult consequences
and i have to forgive myself for what i
did forgive yourself for the neglect
some of you are bad parents
some of you were bad parents
i don’t know all of the things that went
around it
i don’t know all of the hurts that you
were dealing with but now you look at
your kids in the place that they are and
every time you see them you can’t
rejoice in any good
because you still haven’t forgiven you
i know nobody talks about this i know
this is not sexy
but the relationship that’s strained
with you and that family member
is because of something you actually did
say
you said it when they were out of the
room they found out about it and now
your relationship is broken
and you still haven’t forgiven you
yourself for the thoughts of jealousy
that pushed you
away from people that god called to you
those people were supposed to be in your
life but because you got jealous of them
you pushed them away and now you’re
walking in isolation
and you’re making up things like
nobody’s for me i just feel like i’m
called to walk alone
and god’s like no i sent you jerome and
jerome was supposed to walk with you
but you pushed them away because they
got a job promotion and you did it or
because they got this thing
and god’s saying forgive yourself for
the part you played in that
and this is a big one forgive yourself
for the flagrant fouls
the things you did fl flag flagrantly
one of the things that i know about
myself is when i was in that situation
and i
you already know i can’t teach on
nothing that i’m not going through or
that i’ve gone through i have to be that
authentic but when i cheated on pastor
natalie
a lot of those things were not accidents
excuse me none of them
no nobody made me get in the car
and drive at that time of night to that
person’s house
to take them to the gas station
that was flagrant nobody made me ignore
the phone call
when the holy spirit was sending
somebody to disrupt
the flow of what was happening
god was giving me a way of escape
and i ignored it what happens when god
performs his word in your life and you
hit ignore
what if he gives you away and you are
intentionally
jumped over the hurdle he put a speed
bump and you ran
right through it
flagrant fouls i made
and i tried to get it right with them
and them and them and them
and god said you still didn’t forgive
you
i feel the presence of god right now
it’s time for you to forgive you all
right i’m gonna be very practical with
this because i know i’ve been building
this but the reason that this is so deep
in me because i walked around for almost
a decade
actually holding myself accountable for
the mental space i was
in for the emotional space i was in and
i never knew that i had the key the
whole time
i had the key to get out of this and god
wants to give you the key
today so write this down i’m gonna give
you just a few points right now
if you’re going to forgive you the first
thing you’re going to have to do
is face you you got to face you
and the only way you can face you is to
actually look
at you actually get a mirror of
what is going on and i’m not just
talking about
a regular mirror the mirror that god
gives us spiritually is his word
our spiritual mirror is the word of god
when i read the bible your attitude is
nasty
when i read that’s why y’all stay away
from it because if you actually start
reading it it shows you what’s on you
it’s the only book that you read it and
it reads you
i cannot hide that i’m walking in pride
when i read the word
i cannot hide that i’m in sexual
temptation
when i read the word when i put that
mirror on me
and i start looking at what god says is
good
and what grace looks like and what his
love looks like
i see clearly i’m not walking in love
and see what happens is we have
interactions with people
and i have an interaction with charles
and i’m like yo bro i love what
god’s doing in your life man and i i
appreciate you but i’m really hating on
the inside
and i don’t i can’t wear a whole um
pajama suit to leave praise and worship
and i can’t i can’t put one on yourself
i can’t even i can’t even you know what
i’m saying my kids you know what i’m
saying they can’t
they can’t look as cute you got
blue-eyed kids and all my kids and
and i walk away from that situation and
you see me but i don’t see me
see the problem if you don’t face you
you will walk around like everything’s
great blessed and highly favored
god is moving in my life i don’t have
unforgiveness for anybody
and everybody sees like you angry
you’re mad you’re bitter you have
spite you actually hate your parents
but it’s not until you get into the word
of god that’s why i’m proud that you’re
here
that’s why i’m glad that you keep coming
back every week cause when you crack
open the word of god
it puts a oh shoot
what in the world this don’t even go
with who i want to be
this doesn’t even even match my
character
this is not even who i’m supposed to
look like
i thought i was up here looking
professional and i look like a fool
because i have not fully
faced me and today i don’t know who you
are
but some of you need to face you you
need to get in the word of god you need
to keep coming back to this series
you need to replay this message so that
god can say hey that’s an area you need
to forgive look at james 1 23.
here’s some bible for you for anyone who
hears the word
but does not carry it out oh
you’re in trouble if you’re watching
this right now cause you’re now
accountable for what god’s giving you
right now
if you hear the word but you don’t
actually forgive you
you don’t actually forgive others watch
what it says
it’s like a man who looks at his own
face in a mirror
and after observing himself goes away
immediately and forgets what he looks
like
i did not make that up that is the bible
it would be like me coming in here and
saying
dang i look bad dang i look good
what’s going on with my face what’s
going on with your face
get your face like mine that’s what
happens
when you tune in the transformation
church and you get your spiritual high
but you don’t plan to go live nothing
this week
that’s what happens ah when god tells
you you need to be convicted of that and
i’m gonna lovingly give you grace and
then you keep going to the club
and hooking up with people and your
lifestyle hasn’t changed
he said you’re like a man who sees it
and then forgets what he looks like
you have what i call spiritual amnesia
and the reason that you can’t forgive
nobody
else it’s cause you won’t face you
and today i’m coming to encourage you it
may be hard to look at yourself like
this
it may be difficult to be able to see
all of the spots
that have happened through your life but
i’m telling you if you
face you then god can fix you if you
face you i said it god can fix you
i believe by the power of the holy
spirit that through this series
god’s gonna allow you by his word to see
exactly the spot where it’s at
the exact when i’m looking at his word
he can reveal to me
it was when you were six years old
and your aunt told you that thing that’s
where fear came in
but until you face you god can’t fix you
let me give you the next thing you’re
gonna have to do if you forgive you
you’re gonna have to own you you can’t
just face you
own that it was on there on that it’s
been there
take oh watch this cuss word
responsibility
i know it was 95 their fault
but the only thing you can control is
what god is doing in you
on the five percent everybody say own it
yeah yeah it’s time if you’re gonna be
able to forgive you it can’t be
all them there was a time
there was a moment that that maybe you
did one little thing and yes they are
the one who did i can’t fix them
but i can’t own me and what god is
saying to his people today
is like i don’t care if they
ever recognize how they damaged you
i care that you are healed
forgive you face you
on you look what the bible says in
galatians six three
if anyone thinks they’re something when
they’re not
they deceive themselves each one should
test their what’s that word
own actions then they can take pride in
themselves alone
without comparing themselves to someone
else
i don’t have to worry what everybody
else is doing when i take responsibility
for my own actions for each one
should carry there watch this on load
like whatever my load is it’s not
compared to your load
but my own load i’m taking that
nevertheless the one who receives
instruction in the word should share
all good things with their instructor
that’s why i’m talking to you today
because i learned to carry my own load
as a pastor my staff my wife everybody
will tell you
i will say where i messed up
i will tell people that was my pride
i will tell people we’ve had brees
sitting here our chief
of staff there’s been so many times
where i came in i was like even with me
releasing music and stuff like that
we’ve done this probably three times in
the past six years where i’ve been like
this day i’m releasing music it’s god’s
timing for me
and we’re gonna see a breakthrough and i
will come back
after we’ve spent money after we’ve used
time
i thought and drove my wife crazy i’ll
be like um
uh let me get lower
let me humble myself i know i’m the
pastor of the church and i know
that i’m supposed to hear from the lord
for everybody but can i own me real
quick
i was getting frustrated about where the
ministry was in the music department
and so i decided to take matters into my
own hands
and i thought i was going to do
something to help god but i was wrong
and so i apologize for for what
i did what my part my own load
in making this hard for the whole staff
and team and natalie i need to tell you
that i apologize to you for the times
that i was giving you attitude and i was
angry at you because i had made
something in my mind that you weren’t
supporting my dreams
but you were actually there as a guard
rail to help me
stay in focus but because i had the
wrong perspective
i need to own that i did give you
attitude and that one time i forgot
about that thing i didn’t really forget
i just wanted you to feel how i felt
i wanted you to feel unsupported and so
at this current moment i need to
own me
i’m teaching now and the problem with
you
is that you want it to be everybody else
and you won’t own your load
i know they did the majority of it but
the piece i got i’ma own it
yeah natalie had sex with another dude
when we were not together
so i felt insecure so i had sex with
somebody
but she didn’t make me do that
i did that was the way i thought i’d
feel better but i gotta
own me god’s not going to call you
and your offender up and judge you
he’s not gonna call you and everybody
who contributed to you making that
decision
up before the great white throne it’s
going to be you
and my question is on earth will you
have faced you
and will you have owned you own your own
load
because it’s a key for you to actually
forgive you let me tell you the next one
you need to remind you see after
you face you and you see all of the ugly
and you own you because you actually did
it
they need you you need to remind you of
who god calls you to be
you’re not what you did you’re who he
says you are
see this is where the enemy tries to
trick people and this is where people
fall in the pit of depression
they face themselves and they own it and
then they don’t get reminded of what god
says about them
and that’s why the word of god is so
important in your life
because failure is an event it is not a
person
failure is an event i failed at that i
failed in that situation i failed at
that marriage but i’m not a failure
somebody needs to hear me say that i
failed getting into that college
i failed being able to make that team i
failed being able to raise those kids
but i’m
not a failure failure is an event
it is not a person and that’s why the
enemy really plays with people
he toys with them with the controller of
guilt and shame
but i need to you to understand because
you owned it
and you faced it but you got to remind
yourself of who god says you
are guilt is feeling bad for what you
did
but shame is feeling bad for who you are
and god’s saying i died for both of them
for the guilt and the shame
on the cross he stretched out his arms
and he died for guilt and shame
and i come to encourage somebody today
that as you start on this journey of
forgiving you
then you’re going to remember all of
these things and you’re going to be like
oh i deserve
this i deserve the consequences and god
said will you remind yourself
remind you of who i said you are you’re
a child of god according to john
john 1 and 12. i’m a friend of jesus
according to john 15
15 i have been justified and redeemed
according to romans 3 24. myself my own
self my thought self
my player self was crucified with christ
and i am no longer a slave to sin
according to romans 6 i’m worthy i’m
called
i’m chosen god has a plan for me remind
you of who god says you are
because when you forgive you god says
and i still choose you
like with every do y’all realize it
wasn’t that long ago
that pastor mike was a really bad person
like you would say don’t date him
don’t hang out with him don’t
like him and with
all my mess when i reminded myself
of who god said i am he gave me the
courage
to move past where i was because he had
a greater future for me
than i even saw for myself and today
as you face you i’m giving you practical
steps right here
then you’re gonna own you yeah i did it
but then you’re gonna remind you
that god sees more in you than anybody
that has ever been around you somebody
needs to get that
so clearly i’m gonna keep moving but
there is somebody that’s pulling on me
because you’re saying there’s no way
that god still sees good in me
he created you so there is good in you
because he is good
and everything he puts his hand in and
blows his breath into
is good you may have not had a good
season or a good chapter
but the best days of your life if you
allow it to be
are right in front of you you gotta face
it you gotta own it but you gotta remind
yourself that before
you were in your mother’s womb god knew
you he had plans for you
plans to prosper you you will live and
not die somebody’s pulling on me right
now
i bind the spirit of suicide and
depression
and anxiety that has been trying to take
somebody out god
says i love you more than your failure
and today i’m reminding you
that this is just a chapter
turn the page this
is just a chapter somebody say turn the
page
turn the page where you’ve been is not
where god has for you
this is temporary this is not the
destination
this is just transportation
turn the chapter turn the page
she somebody pulling on me charles cause
somebody was about to give up
somebody started to think about all the
things that they did and they were about
to give up but god came to remind you
today
that this is not the end
so you’re going to face you you’re going
to own you
then you’re gonna remind you and then
watch this one because it’s the one we
don’t like to talk about in church
then you’re gonna grieve you
you’re gonna grieve the you that you
thought it was gonna be
you’re going to grieve the family you
thought you were going to have
you’re going to grieve the career that
you laid down to follow god
and that hasn’t panned out to be what
you
practically saw being in the other
grieve it
feel it the holy spirit is okay with you
taking a moment
and saying this sucks
i didn’t i didn’t expect for
i didn’t expect for that one moment
of a mistake to turn into 10 years of
marriage counseling
i didn’t i didn’t expect for my wife not
to trust me i ain’t done nothing in
years
years and my phone went dead in the car
and now she pissed when we get home
because she felt like she felt back then
when i wasn’t answering the phone on
purpose but i wasn’t doing it on pr
this sucks it sucks to
to actually be honoring somebody and
they think
that you’re trying to take from them or
steal the spotlight or steal the like
when i gave up that six-figure job i
thought god was going to provide from
glory to glory faith to face next level
and i’m in this one-bedroom apartment
and i had to give up
all of my investment this sucks
it’s a part of forgiving you you can
grieve it
you can feel can i prove it to you the
bible
dedicates an entire chapter
to lamenting it’s called lamentations
do you know what that word means a song
of sorrow
god divinely let there be an entire
chapter
in the bible of billy eilish songs
like oh i had a dream
i got everything i wanted like sad
son like songs of sorrow some of the
other people like billy eilish all that
knows billy holiday
i only know billy joel like okay like
but let me give another one um
um songs of sorrow like bone thugs in
harmony
me at the crossroads songs of sorrow
what you gonna do and not gonna miss
everybody i’m not gonna
save you that like that is a sad
so like it’s getting you thinking about
people dying before it even happened
this sucks
but the holy spirit is okay
with that being part of your process
face you own you
remind you and then grieve you
grieve the body size you thought you
were gonna be
you wanted kids didn’t want roles god
kids
and roles the god of abundance
grieve it feel it
but don’t stay there
acknowledge it write it in your journals
tell your therapist
but this is not my end destination and
that’s where the enemy tries to get you
to stay
in grief but god said this is just
another step to forgiving
you so we face you
own you remind you grieve you lament
and then i want you to insulate you
i need you to bring some people around
you
i need you to get in community because
the enemy’s plan of isolation is for you
to go through this process
alone bri charles amber
wilk bishop come here see the thing that
you need to know
is that when i’m falling apart in my
life what god
does is bring people around me
ah and this is what he wants to do for
you and he’s a real people for me
like he brings people around you
that can actually insulate you yeah well
i need somebody big right here
cause right now i’m falling apart right
now i don’t even have the strength to
even
act like this is something that i can go
through my son turns five tomorrow and
he still has autism
and what’s going on in my life i don’t
know if i can be able to do by myself
did we give him the wrong medicine god
did we do something
that wasn’t right today got anything
that i did
i got to forgive me but i can’t do it
because if i didn’t have
insulation around me i’d fall apart and
damage myself
more but right now god because you’re so
good
and you’ve given me community you don’t
just want me to be able to make it by
myself
you have now called me to insulate
myself
thank you jesus and even in this moment
god i just thank you for sending people
around me
god i’ve never let them a multiplying
church i don’t know how this works
because maybe i spent the money wrong
maybe i hired the wrong person maybe i
fired the wrong person god
thank you for this insulation
thank you father that none of these
people are my blood
um family but you’ve surrounded with me
with people that are different
ethnicities and
different walks of life and have
different things and father i’m secure
when i allow myself to be insulated
see this is the thing that i want to
tell somebody that even right now
even right now as you’re standing here
and you’re seeing me do this
this was real that
this week i’m an enneagram eight
so if you know that it’s a lot for me to
really sew for real emotions
i was in an office with my executive
team
this week crying
boo-hooing like a baby
in a place of insulation
i want to give every man permission
this lie that has come from the enemy
that you got to hold it all together and
you got to walk in you the man of the
house
that came from an insecure man who has
not depended on god
god said he’s close up to the humble
i literally had to look at my staff and
tell him i need you
i need y’all to help hold me up what
god’s asking me to do what he’s calling
me to
the prayer god i don’t need you i don’t
need an accolation from fans
i need the insulation of people
who will walk with this through me and
god’s saying that the only person that
can invite those
people in is you you want to forgive you
you’re going to have to insulate
yourself nobody’s going to bombard their
way into your life
and completely be shut out of everything
to be there when you think you’re ready
some of y’all need to go to people
and you need to say i need you to walk
with me
i need to be able to call you when i’m
in this moment of temptation matter of
fact
i need you to call me whenever you feel
like it give people permission to
insulate you because
if you do not
this process never finishes
you face you you own you and then you
face you
and you own you and you face you and you
own you and then you develop this
hardness
that’s like i can handle it myself i
don’t need nobody
counseling ain’t nobody wasting money on
that but you
i was about to say all this stuff that
we waste money on
but you’re so what does it profit a man
or a woman to gain the whole world
you got a boat you got three houses you
got
all the jordans all the hypebeast shoes
you got the purses and the coach and the
louie and the birkin
you got um rent houses and vacation
homes you’ve got all of this but lose
your own mind willing emotions
because you didn’t forgive you and god’s
saying
face you own you remind you
grieve you insulate you
that’s why i i need everybody to be in
community
in the beginning of the year we’re
starting up belong groups again
and and i’m telling you at
transformation church this is great
but the way that you get the full
experience at a transformation church as
you get into community
i have community i’m not just a pastor
of this church and i reign from all i
know
i’m crying with people i’m talking to
people
i’m standing with people i’m going to
people’s house in the middle of the
night
and praying and singing over them why
because
i have to be insulated and then i have
to provide
other people with the in the insulation
two are better than one
because when one falls it didn’t say
if one falls it says when one falls it’s
going to happen
but we’ll be there to pick each other up
if this is so important that jesus even
did it
if anybody could walk this world alone
and be like y’all fool i got stuff to do
stay over there three years that’s all i
ain’t got time to talk to you
i’m the son of god all power
in my hand no
but he chose to insulate himself with 12
men
and then a core of three do y’all
remember when jesus was in the garden
and he was praying before he went to the
cross
and he asked three of his disciples to
come with him and they fell asleep
this is such a beautiful picture to me
of insulation
community because they were bad friends
at that moment they weren’t perfect
people
they were people who fell asleep when
jesus needed them
he came back gave him another
opportunity guess what
snooze button they went to sleep again
but jesus still considered it
even if it wasn’t perfect it was purpose
that he had people around him
so if it was good for the son of god our
example
why would you go through any process
alone
insulate you let me give you the last
two
you need to value you
that’s all i’ve been trying to get you
to do like y’all know this is the first
time we’re actually
this week going to forgive somebody and
it’s f you
it’s forgiving you value you
can i say something very very very
important for you to know you’re worth
it
you taking this time and holding space
for you to be able to do this process
it’s worth whatever you lose
it’s worth not getting likes on
it’s worth not going to the ball game
it’s worth your husband or your wife
having to make time
and understand that you need to do this
because you’re only
feeding them out of the emptiness that
is in you
you only can give what’s actually there
and god’s saying i want to fill you up
where there’s no hole at the bottom of
the cup
i want you to live out of your overflow
so you remember
i came that you might have life and have
life to the full
you can’t live full when you’re leaking
forgive you
value you i’m going to say something
that most pastors won’t say
but i’m a firm believer in this for many
of you to walk through
the healing that you need you need a
counselor
you need a therapist you need a
christian counselor that will help you
unpack your
baggage that was like the fourth choice
down on my list right there i had a lot
of other words i wanted to say
and i know you’ve learned how to cope
with it
it’s worth you paying somebody
less shoes more healing
less vacations more
freedom less instagram pictures
more identity i know don’t nobody want
to hear this because i’m messing up
their 2021 plans
but less flexing
and more oh jesus
forgiveness
i’ma be honest with you me and pastor
natalie
have been in intensive counseling for
the season of life we’re walking through
for the past two years your pastor
has a therapist that i go
see all the time
and it’s expensive it’s cars
like i could be driving a car instead of
going to see julianne
in colorado i love you boo
she is a part of me and natalie’s family
not because she went through what we’ve
gone through it’s because she helped
us forgive ourselves it’s because she’s
helped us unpack all the trauma
and what i’m saying to you is that it’s
worth it
value you more than a new
plastic surgery or a haircut
or a trend that will be out in six
months
value the only thing you’re gonna
live with for the rest of your life
you forgive you
value you i’m gonna give you my last one
because i’m over time
you’re worth it do you know how much
you’re worth it
look what god says in romans 8 16 he
says for the spirit joins
with our spirit to affirm you when
somebody comes to affirm you they’re
telling you
like yes you are that yes you are
valuable
yes you are the spirit comes to affirm
that we are
god’s children do you know what happens
when you realize who your daddy is
my daughters and son have a different
swag because of who their daddy is
like not because i present that i’m some
great it’s my track record with them
of doing what i said i will do being
there and showing compassion and love
that when they walk around they will
tell people my daddy
said i can have this
well it cost six dollars i don’t matter
to call my daddy said
this is mine why it’s because they’ve
been affirmed in private
they they have confidence in public
because the the affirmation
in private and god’s saying
you’re my child the spirit affirms this
you’re my children and since we are his
children i’m gonna upgrade the title
we are his heirs we’ve been so broke all
of our life we don’t understand heirs
heirs is like the generational blessing
like like there are heirs that never met
the person who made the wealth
but because they’re in the family line
they get to walk in the
same benefit and god is saying
that you’re not just my children you are
heirs
in fact together with christ we are the
heirs of god’s glory
but if we share in his glory
watch this we must also
share in his suffering if we share in
the glory
of being able to forgive we also must
share in the suffering
of being able to extend forgiveness
last one if you’re going to forgive you
i’m just begging you embrace you
embrace you right where you are right
now
make space give yourself the permission
to just embrace yourself come on just
hug yourself right there like that
like come on just put your arms around
yourself
embrace you this is who i am today
come on just i have anxiety attacks
i’m jealous i’m money hungry
i’m i i’m really jealous of my friend’s
relationship come on wherever you are
i’m not asking you to change it now just
embrace it
i act like i read the bible but i’m
actually very
intimidated by the word of god i’m
i’m still dabbling in pornography
i love my family i don’t like them
embrace you
wherever you are right now i’m very
awkward about my identity
i don’t know what god’s calling me to do
i’m
very unsure of my purpose it’s okay
embrace you just take this moment i
thought we would be farther by now
me and my husband plan to be in a house
by now we don’t want our kids growing up
like this it’s okay
i know some of you want the service to
be over but the only thing that you can
do right now
is embrace where you’re at it’s not
going to change today or tomorrow
but you can embrace this moment i
thought i would be further i thought i
would make more money
i thought my kids would appreciate me
more i thought my
world would my impact would be worldwide
right now but it’s literally
in my room embrace it this is where i’m
at
and god’s saying right from here
right from this place of pain
you can forgive you from right here
[Music]
from this moment
all we’re going to do from right here
this week
you’re going to make space some of you
need to get off of social media the rest
of this week
yep some of you need to all the plans
you had
you need two hours every day just to go
through this process and embrace it
oh do you really want to change or you
thought it was going to happen in a
sunday service
and you got a sprinkle and a touch and
you was able to go it took 30 years for
you to be this messed up
and you won’t give god 30 days to change
it
what are we going to do
how are we going to move what is our
response
f you i’m gonna forgive you
yeah i’m gonna forgive you michael i’mma
face you
i’m gonna own you yeah
i’ma remind you of who god calls you
i’m gonna grieve the idea
of your daughters not ever hearing
that you cheated on their mommy
i’m agree i’m gonna grieve that i’m
gonna have to explain it to him
i’m gonna have to tell him that daddy
was not an example of a god that you
need to trust your heart with i’m
grieving it
the only way i’m going to make it
through that is because i’m going to
insulate
yeah i’m going to i’m going to bring
people around me to be in the fight with
me to join arms with me to pray for me
to pray through it with me
to call me out when i’m on my bull and
to stand with me
when i’m feeling beaten yeah
and i’m gonna value i’m going to value
me
i’m going to value me enough to in the
middle of the success
of relationship goals being a new york
times bestseller i’ma value me
enough to go ahead and honor god and
honor the word and go on sabbatical
and yeah it means i’m going to come off
the new york times bestseller and yeah
that means money is going to be taken
out of my
pocket for my family and yeah that mean
but i think i’m worth more
than what i can produce
i’ma value me i’m not i’m not defined
by what other people think of me i’m
defined by who god says i am
i’m gonna value me and even if it’s
one inch a year
one inch a month one inch a week
i’m going to embrace where i’m at right
now
nephew forgive you
i’ve taken all this time to lay out a
practical plan
for you to humble yourself
and say god whatever
you want to do in me here i am
i can’t control them but i got the key
to this
if i put my life in your hands
i can be free if that’s you wherever you
are right now i want to pray for you if
that’s you you’re saying
i want to make this step i want to
forgive myself
i’m saying fu to myself and i’m telling
you this week
you need to put your cell phone up and
just say i forgive you i want you to
post it
i don’t you don’t got to give no
explanation to anybody else in the world
but i just want you to post i forgive
you
and i’m gonna do it too i’ma i’m gonna
stand and i’m gonna say michael i
forgive you
and people all over the world will be
interested what are they forgiving
themselves for it doesn’t matter
because this is a process that god is
going to affirm
privately and it’s going to show up in
my life publicly
but i will forgive
and it’s going to start with me father i
pray right now for every person
every brother and sister that is under
the sound of my voice father god
i believe your spirit is working right
now father you’re uncovering
and uncapping old whales of hurt and
pain
frustration lies father god and i thank
you right now by your spirit
you are coming to help people walk
through this process
of forgiveness father they will not and
start with forgiving others but by your
spirit father they’re going to be able
to walk through this process of
forgiving themselves i pray for freedom
i pray for the keys father god for them
being able to unlock themselves
from childhood wounds unlock themselves
from fragrant
situations that they put themselves in
to unlock themselves to own themselves
to give themselves the ability to value
and embrace this moment right now
god i’m praying that you bring godly
people all around them father to
insulate them
god i thank you that this week will be
massive deliverance
not because of what somebody else did
but because we looked in the mirror and
we faced it
and what your spirit is going to do in
our lives today we trust you
as tears are flowing all over the world
right now as hearts
are being moved right now we’re saying
make us over again
yeah that’s what i hear the holy spirit
say make
me over again say
lord make me
oh come on just say
[Music]
[Music]
come on just confess
[Music]
again do it in me first god
somebody say say make me over again
come on just say that again just cry out
say make me up
in this empty arena card i’m crying out
show me me
make me over again
if you’re under the sound of my voice
and you want to ask christ into your
life
this is the best time to do it
like when you about to go on this
journey of trying to get free
the bible says that the holy spirit
which comes to us
in salvation his one of his names is the
paraclete
the one who comes alongside of us to
help us
and what god wants to do is he wants to
help you but he’s
a gentleman he’s not going to knock your
life door down
and i am the holy one of israel let me
in
the bible says he stands at the door and
he knocks and today god’s been knocking
on somebody so you don’t even know why
you’re watching this you don’t even know
how you got in the room
you don’t even know why you stayed at
that person’s house and why this is on
right now and god’s saying i do because
this was a divine
setup for you to receive
salvation if you want to receive that
today all you have to do according to
romans 10 9
is believe and confess that jesus christ
is lord
and he died for you that’s what i did
when i believed it was the thing that
changed me i repented i turned
from what i was going to and i turned to
god
and the rest of this i know religion is
going to tell you need to clean up you
need to change this you need to stop
smoking you need to stop drinking no no
no no no god is gonna help you do that
when you look at the mirror
of the word you’re gonna start seeing
there’s things that don’t line up with
it
but god’s saying salvation grace is
available to you right now
and if you give him your habits he’ll
help you change them and right here you
can belong here before you behave
that’s what happened to me it was my
love for god and my understanding
for what he did for me that caused me to
change that was progression
not perfection today i want to offer
that to you
on the count of three we’re about to
pray but if you want to be added in that
prayer
if you’re saying pastor i want to
start receiving the forgiveness
that has already been provided through
jesus christ i want you to lift your
hands
one you’re making the greatest decision
of your life two it’s the thing that
took me from being a liar
a manipulator of somebody who was all
into sexual perversion and it
transformed my life three lift your
hands right now all over the world
i don’t care if you’re watching this on
rebroadcast right now god sees you
i don’t have to see you god sees you and
heaven is rejoicing
because we’re gonna pray this prayer
together and you know transformation
nation
nobody here prays alone you understand
we’re going to insulate these people
we’re going to be their community right
now and if that’s you
i want you to pray this prayer with all
of us say father god
thank you for forgiving me today
i give you my life i ask you
to come in i believe you lived
and you died just for me
change me renew me
transform me i’m yours in
jesus name amen listen if you
just prayed that prayer i want to tell
you that all of heaven
and everybody in this room is rejoicing
over the one person that came
to christ when i tell you
that everything right now is about to
start changing for you
if you would allow god to come in and
help you and you just did it
i want you to text the number on your
screen because we want to give you some
steps to help you walk this out
i’m telling you that week five is just
the beginning this is where we start
forgiving people but next week we’re
going to a whole nother level
we’re about to hit buttons it’s about to
be surgery but i’m telling you
as we make it through this the freedom i
feel that’s going to happen at christmas
the freedom that like literally by the
end of this year i feel people are going
to be able to spread their wings and fly
like never before
forgive you i want you to go out and
have the best week of your life you are
favored
you are called you are more than enough
you are worthy
god loves you and so do we go out and
live a transformed life god bless you
what’s going on family i wanted to come
and personally tell you
about something that is a tradition here
at transformation church
at the end of every year we bring our
faith
our crazy faith to an offering we call
it our end of the year offering
and what we do is we set aside a moment
to ask god
hey is there anything you want us to
give give to this mission this vision
this idea of representing god across the
whole world
and literally for the past six years
we’ve been doing it
and it has been the catalyst for
everything else that we’ve done as a
church
we’ve been able to help in sex
trafficking we’ve been able to buy this
building and pay for it in five months
because of the generosity
the cameras that you are watching us on
right now were
because of somebody’s crazy faith to
give and in the end of the year offering
i think back and literally when the
church first started
it was the faith of a few people less
than 300
who gave 80 000 that produced the
cameras that are seeing so many over 19
000 salvations have come this year
but it started with the faith of
somebody and i want to ask you to
partner with us
join in not giving an amount asking god
is there something you want me to give
and i promise you when
you ask him he’ll speak to you this is
not about amounts
this is about growing in our faith and i
know that in a year
where many of us would be tempted to
hoard
or keep or protect what we have at
transformation church we move in
generosity
we give just to give not to give we step
out in faith we believe in god
and we believe in miracles and i believe
that god right now
is placing something on you and your
family’s heart like he’s doing for me
and natalie and our family
and we’re all on december 6 gonna give
in our crazy faith offering
i’m telling you what i’ve seen god do in
this season of the year
has been something that will never ever
nobody can
ever convince me that god is not moving
in this
moment and so i want you to join us this
is the step of faith
that maybe you’ve been praying for this
is the step of faith
that’s going to prove that all the
growth as we’ve gotten stronger this
year
actually has action in your life and i’m
so grateful and i’m gonna be praying
with you
that whatever god says for you to give
you would obey
see what we know is that obedience is
better than
any sacrifice we could give and we’re
going to move this thing together
so december 6 crazy faith offering you
can give and i’m so excited to see
what god does in this church as we
represent him
to the lost and found for transformation
in christ god bless you