Today we continued in our new series called, “FU” or “Forgiveness University.” Online classes are now in session and we are ready to learn about forgiveness. In the fifth week of this series, Pastor Michael taught us that in order to forgive others, we must first forgive ourselves. He provided us with an acronym that makes this process practical:

this is week five

of a series we’re calling i need

everybody in the building to help me say

f u and that stands for forgiveness

university

and i’m glad to let you know right now

that you have made it

to the halfway point of this series

and that means that it’s time to start

putting what we’ve learned into action

we have spent the last four weeks

setting a foundation

for forgiveness setting an understanding

of what forgiveness is what it isn’t how

it’s supposed to move and how it’s

supposed to be used

in our lives and the one thing i can sum

all of that up with

is this one definition that i keep

giving to every person every week

forgiveness is a primary

spiritual discipline of every christ

follower

do not claim christian and you do not

forgive

i need to be that clear it may be hard

for you to do right now

that’s why you’re enrolled in this

course right now it may be difficult

because of what you’ve gone through

but do not claim christian and think

that you can hold

everybody accountable for what they’ve

done for you

all your life and never release anybody

you have to forgive and the reason that

i’m saying that to you is because in

church

all my life forgiveness was said so much

that it lost its power

oh i need to forgive them i’ma be mad

for a little bit but then i’ll forgive

them

come on let’s be honest it’s like yeah

i’m just working on forgiving

but nobody actually did it they just

said they were gonna do it or

said they needed to do it we were never

taught how to do it that’s why i’m doing

10 weeks on this series

because it is a primary spiritual

discipline of every believer and

somebody’s saying well pastor mike what

is forgiveness let me give you

a definition of forgiveness take me to

the big board please

forgiveness is the intentional everybody

say intentional

and voluntary say voluntary

so it has to be on purpose and nobody

can make you do it

it is the intentional and voluntary

process by which

a victim that means it’s legitimate they

messed you over

they did something wrong they abused

their power it is legitimate

you are the victim i don’t want to take

that away from anybody because a lot of

times

people get offended and they don’t want

to forgive because they want

the person to know that what happened to

them is legitimate what i’m telling you

it did happen it is legitimate you were

wronged

you were violated so you as the victim

you undergo a

change or a transformation

in your feelings an attitude regarding

an

offense so they did it and they offended

you

and because of the power of jesus christ

you

overcome negative emotions such as

resentment

and vengeance god wants you to realize

that forgiveness is not for them

forgiveness

is for you and most people don’t

understand that they feel like they have

a power over somebody i ain’t forgiving

you

you ain’t never coming to this family

reunion again you are never gonna and

it’s like yo

they are living their life not even

thinking about you

and you’re trapped in this whirlwind of

thoughts

some of y’all got people on your

instagram and facebook feed right now

that are twisting you around in all

kinds of frustration

because you’re like how they on vacation

they don’t remember what they did to me

how they wish me happy birthday they

don’t remember what they think

they don’t even think about it and

you’re trapped in this because you have

not

experienced forgiveness and

god wants you to be free

and so last week again we got an

understanding proverbs 4

7. it says wisdom is the principle thing

therefore get wisdom

and in all you’re getting get an

understanding so last week we got an

understanding

now i want to move us into wisdom and

wisdom is applied knowledge

so now that we understand it it’s time

to apply it okay

now i want to let everybody know i told

you for four weeks i’m not gonna ask you

to forgive and some church people who

are used to everything happening in the

same service

you’ve been like when am i gonna forgive

when am i gonna forgive and you’ve been

trying to do it in your own way just let

the course finished

it’s been four weeks and i have not

asked anybody to forgive

anybody but today is your first day of

forgiveness

today i believe the understanding of it

is strong enough and if you haven’t

watched it go back and watch all four of

the other ones but today we’re going to

apply

what we have learned we’re going to walk

in everybody say wisdom

yep and i think that’s what the culture

is missing right now we have a lot of

information not enough wisdom

not enough applied knowledge and today i

want us to walk in wisdom

and so who are we gonna forgive pastor

mike i have so many people on my list

who am i gonna forgive my dad today my

mom my coworker that

really made a rude comment about my hair

and i really was going for that look

and i hate them now am i going to

forgive my teacher who smoke

down on me am i going to forgive my

spouse that person would probably be

good because we sleep in the same bed

and it’s just really been cold for the

past five years

am i going to forgive my siblings who

i’m not looking forward to going to

thanksgiving with them or christmas with

them

am i going to forgive even my pastor the

one who did the wrong thing to me

and and and used me for my gift but

didn’t see

my calling who am i going to forgive

today pastor mike none of them

the first person that you’re going to

forgive today

which is usually the last person that

you think about

today i want to say to you f you

forgive you

today i don’t want to talk about

forgiving

anybody else externally today i want to

talk about forgiving the one who it’s

the hardest to forgive

forgiving the one who was there

forgiving the one who sent the text

forgiving the one who made the inner vow

forgiving the one who made a timeline

and because of a decision that i made

i missed the opportunity that i thought

was going to change everything

and i’ve been silently holding myself

responsible

for not being in the place that i

thought i should be

today fu forgive you

why don’t we start with the person

that you would like to deflect the light

from

i just i just walked around for many

years

trying to get this concept for other

people

and i never gained the freedom for

myself

and i’m scared that too many people have

their list of people

that have wronged them and that they

want to forgive now

but then they can forgive all of those

people you’ve gone to the gravesite and

cried over the

over the um graveside and you’ve and

you’ve gone and written letters to them

and you’ve done all of these other

things and you still feel trapped

because the one person that you’ve never

forgiven is yourself

so we’re going to forgive mom and damn

we’re going to forgive pops we’re going

to forgive everybody that hated on us

but let’s start with forgiving

you look what the scripture says about

it and i want you

to write this point down because i think

this will help you

because there’s people right now that

this is it feels uncomfortable but i

promise you by the end of it

you’re going to know you’re worth being

forgiven selfish forgiveness

is the first step to selfless

forgiveness

selfish forgiveness talking about you

forgiving you

is the first step to actually being

selfless in forgiveness look what mark 8

36 says for what doesn’t profit a man

to gain the whole world have right

relationships with everybody else

everybody else has been forgiven

everybody else is walking in

relationship with you at a great level

and lose his own soul mind

will and emotions isn’t that where the

battle happens on the inside of me

in my mind my will and my emotion i be

seeing

people how many people right now talk to

yourself come on let’s be let’s be

honest come on

oh my god why did you even say that you

sounded like such a dweeb when you said

that

oh my god i look good today oh my god

like and you do all of this stuff

in your self-talk and if we were to play

out loud the dialogue you have with

yourself

you would be your worst critic

if we were to even the people who act

like they got it all together

and prideful and acting like they all of

that honestly all of that

is is a a a a mass for how you

actually feel about yourself and what i

found out in this

is that god doesn’t want you to forgive

everybody else and forget you

don’t forgive everybody else and forget

you

that’s why forgiveness is your key

somebody say forgiveness is the key

say it again forgiveness is the key let

me give them an

actual example see what what forgiveness

does is it locks you up

it puts me in the chains hold on one

second let me

wipe my thing okay it puts me in a

change go ahead

now ouch why you put me in like that

see the thing about this right now is i

can get an instruction lift your hands

and raise and praise god

yeah i’m i’m going to a limit

um tie your shoe

okay like basic

things i’m chained

but the crazy thing about forgiving you

is it doesn’t take anybody else to do

this work

it takes you because you have the key

like when he put the chains on me

i have the key so even though

i want to focus on what everybody else

needs i need to slow down enough to put

the key in

now i got the key no but you coming over

and you’re going to chain me again

you’re going to come back in here and

offend me again you’re going to come and

say something different

hold on before i act out of

what they did i got a key

i can actually forgive myself

for actually going to the party yeah

i know i want to i want to um talk about

the offense that happened

at the party but the problem is

if i wouldn’t have gone it would have

never happened

so i need to forgive me for even

deciding to go to that school

even choosing that degree even getting

married to that person

i need to let myself go for letting my

kids go spend the night at their house

they would have never been abused if i

would have said no

and what god is saying that even when

you forgive everybody else you can still

be sitting here

in prison because i did text back

i thought it was just gonna be a cute

little like i was just feeling better

bad about myself so i thought the

relationship was just gonna be like a

cute little thing that i could

you know i’m saying have on the weekends

and it turned into a three-year abusive

relationship

if i wouldn’t have been on instagram and

many of us

get external healings but we still have

internal failures

and so we never forgive ourselves for

the internal failures

but you have the key forgive yourself

let yourself go you don’t need your

husband to do this

you don’t need your kids to do this you

don’t need you don’t need

anybody you have

the key and

even though this hand is free this hand

still bears the scars

but i still have the key and i just came

to tell somebody by the spirit of god

that the things that have been holding

you i’m taking my time on this because

it’s going to take you a minute to

understand that you’re worth being

forgiven

the things that have been chaining you

god gives you the key it does not matter

if they bring another set of handcuffs i

still have the key

it doesn’t matter if i move to another

town and get in another job

and get offended the same way when they

put the cuffs on me

i can control forgiving myself somebody

say i got the key

say it again i got the key so what do

you want me to do pastor mike

forgive you first forgive you first

somebody needs to this week get on your

phone and i’m going to do this because i

had to do it

in one of the hardest places in my life

some of you know my testimony

but when when uh me and pastor now we

were high school sweethearts

i just feel like can i be raw today

charles can i just like

because this is not for the ones who

come just fanfare i’m trying to get

somebody changed

and transforming me and pastor nat

we’ve been together since i was 15 14

years old and

so what ends up happening in this moment

is i i come into relationship with her

and and we’re on our road to get married

in

and then i cheat on her

and i i literally sacrificed everything

that god gave me that was good for a

moment of pleasure

that ended up robbing me for years to

come

and i worked so hard on making the

relationship right with her

that i hated looking at me

like i was literally going through so

much

here’s my cell phone i’ll never do that

again that when i got by myself

i didn’t even like i remember not

looking myself

in the mirror or getting dressed in the

dark or being able because i didn’t want

to see what i caused myself

and i know everybody’s not there right

now but you might be in a different

season

and this word may help you what you need

to do this week

is look yourself in the mirror and you

need to get

your cell phone out and just say michael

i forgive you come on somebody needs to

do it right now get your cell phone out

see this is the first time because some

of you

when you look at you you see what you

did you see the guilt you see the shame

you see the pain you look at the

situation but go and get your cell phone

out right now and don’t look at me on

the screen look at yourself

and i want you to say that you forgive

yourself i forgive

you come on michael i forgive you say

your name

come on say it again michael

i forgive you do you know how awkward

this is for so many right now

what i’m trying to do is get you out of

hey

i need to forgive you do you see what

you did to me forgive me i want to

forgive you and god says turn it on you

i forgive you for answering that phone

call i forgive

you for actually doing the action i

forgive you for forfeiting

what god had for you in that season i

forgive

you and if i forgive you

what it does is remind me of how much i

need him

because i am projecting what other

people think about me

i know what you think about you i know i

know that everything that you did wasn’t

an accident

i know that you meant to do some of that

stuff

i know you planned it i know you have

thoughts that if she doesn’t sleep with

me tonight then you’re just gonna come

home and watch pornography and

masturbate

i know i know you

and today i’m forgiving you

i’m releasing you i’m taking back what

the enemy has tried to use

as a pawn to keep me in prison

and i’m submitting myself openly to god

and i’m telling you

that no matter where we are today i

forgive

you if we’re in a marriage that’s

horrible

i forgive you if we’re the one causing

abuse to somebody else

i don’t know if i can make it right with

them but today i gotta free you

i forgive you

i gotta see myself differently than i’ve

seen myself before

and today this may be the hardest step

of forgiveness

that i take but if i can get it right

with me

i so can get it right with them i

forgive you

where the organ where the shout ain’t

gonna be none of that

see because the intimacy that you have

to get in

to forgive yourself is one that

maybe they can’t be a lot of people

around for

see the thing that i need everybody to

understand is that forgiveness

taking this time and being selfish

enough

to say i need to forgive me allows you

to be reminded of what you actually

did and who you actually are and it does

something to you

it humbles you when i think about

who i really am at the heart level

without god

and what i’ve done and even though i

point the finger at everybody else

but i think about the times that i tried

to manipulate my way into situations and

try to

get this to happen and i hurt that

person and i intentionally made a joke

about them

because i felt insecure about myself so

let me make them feel bad about

themselves

to make me feel all the times i did it

on purpose

it makes me humbled

and this is one of the key ingredients

that’s missing from forgiveness

because you cannot forgive anybody else

in pride

to be forgiven and

understand all that you have done and

god

still says i forgive you it humbles you

it brings you lower it makes the self

less let me let me give you an example

since we’re in college

do y’all remember this symbol the less

than and greater than symbol do you all

remember that

and if it faces a certain way it means

less than and if it faces the other way

it means greater than when you actually

forgive you

and you get reminded of all the things

god said yeah i’ll forgive that

and i’ll let you free from that and i’ll

give you the key to let go of that

what ends up happening is self

is less needing an apology from them

so i want an apology but because i’ve

been humbled by the forgiveness that i

needed for me

myself is less than i don’t need an

apology i can release you

even if you don’t ever acknowledge that

you did it i feel the presence of god

coming

in this place to help somebody this is

why you got to forgive you first

because we have a plan of how we want it

to happen but what you got to know

is self has to be less than what’s the

next one

what people will think well if i just

let them go that they’re going to think

i’m weak and my mama raised me to be

hard you know i’m saying i’m a strong

single woman and i’ll bust your head

play nook if you buck if you want to

and see what i do stilettos pumps in

the club

and you do things come on let’s be

honest how many of us do things because

of what others think

and god says when you become humbled

before me and you realize how much

forgiveness you need

self is less than what people think

self becomes less than this is a big one

revenge

i’m gonna forgive them once they feel

what they did to me

and that i’m i’m going to intentionally

make them feel

how they made me feel and after i know

that their heart has been broken like my

heart do y’all know

that how many relationships especially

in marriage that when somebody cheats on

them then the spouse now cheats on them

that’s not because the spouse wanted to

cheat it’s because i’m not gonna forgive

you until you experience what i felt

and so self is not less than revenge

what is it

self is greater than

and this is where pride comes in and

god’s saying the reason you have to

start forgiving you because it makes you

aware of the forgiveness that you need

and it brings you low when i was in that

moment and i’m sitting there crying to

natalie

about how bad i messed up and how bad i

want her heart to trust me again

and that i know this is going to be a

process

self was less than anything else

the only way that i was able to forgive

me was to put myself

low and then i said god you’re gonna

have to help me

he said no i’m not you did what i said

in my word

you humbled yourself

he said this is the greatest thing any

believer

can learn is to humble yourself so i

don’t have to

i said you’re gonna have to give me

bible he said great i got it for you

he i want you to go to first peter 4 6

he said michael

when you forgive you you get humbled and

what you need to realize

i’m telling you humble yourself

humble you under the mighty hand of god

and then watch this and at the right

time

he will lift you up in honor they told

me this week

that relationship goals the book which

is based off of me and natalie’s

relationship

is the number nine top selling book

in the world out of every book that’s

been made

over two hundred thousand titles in

twenty twenty

let me help you understand that people

know me for my relationship now

that’s how they know me but

how how it started was in humility

we’re looking to be relationship goals

when god

says i need you to just humble yourself

i need you to get in a place where you

face what has happened

take ownership of that thing and you can

be able to humble yourself

and start with forgiving you write this

point down

forgiving you produces humility

and humility is required to forgive

anyone else

this is why i’ma see if people gonna

stay a part of this class

cause this one is gonna hurt to actually

look at what you have done and

not be prideful about it and put it on

them

well pastor you don’t understand my

situation i understand i don’t

understand your situation

but is there anything in you

that needs to be brought low

and this is the scripture that reminds

me all the time psalms 138 6

even though the lord is high above he

sees

humble people close up

if you’re humble close and he recognizes

arrogant people from a distance he still

recognizes you

but he’s further away and how many

people just raise your hand right now

need help for giving come on i need help

forgiving i need god

i need the holy spirit i need baby jesus

i need all of them i need

help forgiving well god says if you need

my help

he said you got to be humble so if you

need that help you got to get humble

if not you’re trying to get assistance

from a distance

this is how many people live their

christian life they don’t want to change

anything

they want salvation but they don’t

actually want to walk

in regeneration they don’t want to have

sanctification

they don’t want to walk worth anything

and so what they do is they say i’m

saved but god i need your help and he

said the sin in your life

the people you keep accusing the things

that you’re doing you don’t

put me close you put me at a distance

and i don’t know about you but if i’m

gonna actually be able to forgive

i don’t need assistance from a distance

i need god to be close to me

for the things that i have to forgive

for

i need him to be close humility produces

closeness with god

some of you right now don’t even want to

accept this word you’re thinking like

what’s td jake talking about what’s

steven furtick talking about and this is

the word

that you need right now to be able to

get

off of everybody else externally

and deal with you somebody say i’m going

to forgive me

mark 12 30. thank you holy spirit

and you must love the lord your god with

all your heart all your soul

all your mind and all your strength

secondly

and it’s equally important love your

neighbor

as you

love your neighbor as you no commandment

is greater than these okay pastor mike

you’re saying i gotta love my neighbor

what does it mean to love i’m glad you

asked let’s go to first corinthians 13.

love is patient kind it does not envy it

does not boast it is not

proud it is not rude it is not

self-seeking

it is not easily angered can we stop

there no we got to keep going

it keeps no account of wrong

love forgives love takes no pleasure and

evil

but rejoices in the truth i came to tell

somebody that you need to forget the who

and you need to focus on you

forgive you f you

forgive yourself for making that inner

vow that you would be married by 26

and now you’re 32 and you feel like if i

would have just done this this could

have happened

forgive yourself for the personal

promise that you broke i’m gonna be a

virgin

until i get married and it was that one

night at prom that you decided to do

this thing

and it happened and then it spiraled

into habits that now are your lifestyle

forgive you for your predetermined

deadlines that you set that by this time

i’m gonna be a millionaire and now every

moment after that time is miserable

because of something not god said but

you said forgive yourself for taking

advantage of people in situations

some of you were manipulators of

situation manipulators of your parents

manipulators or boyfriends and

girlfriends or co-workers forgive you

for the immaturity some of us have just

made dumb decisions because we didn’t

know

can we be honest there were some dumb

things that i did just because i was

immature and those immaturities had

real-life adult consequences

and i have to forgive myself for what i

did forgive yourself for the neglect

some of you are bad parents

some of you were bad parents

i don’t know all of the things that went

around it

i don’t know all of the hurts that you

were dealing with but now you look at

your kids in the place that they are and

every time you see them you can’t

rejoice in any good

because you still haven’t forgiven you

i know nobody talks about this i know

this is not sexy

but the relationship that’s strained

with you and that family member

is because of something you actually did

say

you said it when they were out of the

room they found out about it and now

your relationship is broken

and you still haven’t forgiven you

yourself for the thoughts of jealousy

that pushed you

away from people that god called to you

those people were supposed to be in your

life but because you got jealous of them

you pushed them away and now you’re

walking in isolation

and you’re making up things like

nobody’s for me i just feel like i’m

called to walk alone

and god’s like no i sent you jerome and

jerome was supposed to walk with you

but you pushed them away because they

got a job promotion and you did it or

because they got this thing

and god’s saying forgive yourself for

the part you played in that

and this is a big one forgive yourself

for the flagrant fouls

the things you did fl flag flagrantly

one of the things that i know about

myself is when i was in that situation

and i

you already know i can’t teach on

nothing that i’m not going through or

that i’ve gone through i have to be that

authentic but when i cheated on pastor

natalie

a lot of those things were not accidents

excuse me none of them

no nobody made me get in the car

and drive at that time of night to that

person’s house

to take them to the gas station

that was flagrant nobody made me ignore

the phone call

when the holy spirit was sending

somebody to disrupt

the flow of what was happening

god was giving me a way of escape

and i ignored it what happens when god

performs his word in your life and you

hit ignore

what if he gives you away and you are

intentionally

jumped over the hurdle he put a speed

bump and you ran

right through it

flagrant fouls i made

and i tried to get it right with them

and them and them and them

and god said you still didn’t forgive

you

i feel the presence of god right now

it’s time for you to forgive you all

right i’m gonna be very practical with

this because i know i’ve been building

this but the reason that this is so deep

in me because i walked around for almost

a decade

actually holding myself accountable for

the mental space i was

in for the emotional space i was in and

i never knew that i had the key the

whole time

i had the key to get out of this and god

wants to give you the key

today so write this down i’m gonna give

you just a few points right now

if you’re going to forgive you the first

thing you’re going to have to do

is face you you got to face you

and the only way you can face you is to

actually look

at you actually get a mirror of

what is going on and i’m not just

talking about

a regular mirror the mirror that god

gives us spiritually is his word

our spiritual mirror is the word of god

when i read the bible your attitude is

nasty

when i read that’s why y’all stay away

from it because if you actually start

reading it it shows you what’s on you

it’s the only book that you read it and

it reads you

i cannot hide that i’m walking in pride

when i read the word

i cannot hide that i’m in sexual

temptation

when i read the word when i put that

mirror on me

and i start looking at what god says is

good

and what grace looks like and what his

love looks like

i see clearly i’m not walking in love

and see what happens is we have

interactions with people

and i have an interaction with charles

and i’m like yo bro i love what

god’s doing in your life man and i i

appreciate you but i’m really hating on

the inside

and i don’t i can’t wear a whole um

pajama suit to leave praise and worship

and i can’t i can’t put one on yourself

i can’t even i can’t even you know what

i’m saying my kids you know what i’m

saying they can’t

they can’t look as cute you got

blue-eyed kids and all my kids and

and i walk away from that situation and

you see me but i don’t see me

see the problem if you don’t face you

you will walk around like everything’s

great blessed and highly favored

god is moving in my life i don’t have

unforgiveness for anybody

and everybody sees like you angry

you’re mad you’re bitter you have

spite you actually hate your parents

but it’s not until you get into the word

of god that’s why i’m proud that you’re

here

that’s why i’m glad that you keep coming

back every week cause when you crack

open the word of god

it puts a oh shoot

what in the world this don’t even go

with who i want to be

this doesn’t even even match my

character

this is not even who i’m supposed to

look like

i thought i was up here looking

professional and i look like a fool

because i have not fully

faced me and today i don’t know who you

are

but some of you need to face you you

need to get in the word of god you need

to keep coming back to this series

you need to replay this message so that

god can say hey that’s an area you need

to forgive look at james 1 23.

here’s some bible for you for anyone who

hears the word

but does not carry it out oh

you’re in trouble if you’re watching

this right now cause you’re now

accountable for what god’s giving you

right now

if you hear the word but you don’t

actually forgive you

you don’t actually forgive others watch

what it says

it’s like a man who looks at his own

face in a mirror

and after observing himself goes away

immediately and forgets what he looks

like

i did not make that up that is the bible

it would be like me coming in here and

saying

dang i look bad dang i look good

what’s going on with my face what’s

going on with your face

get your face like mine that’s what

happens

when you tune in the transformation

church and you get your spiritual high

but you don’t plan to go live nothing

this week

that’s what happens ah when god tells

you you need to be convicted of that and

i’m gonna lovingly give you grace and

then you keep going to the club

and hooking up with people and your

lifestyle hasn’t changed

he said you’re like a man who sees it

and then forgets what he looks like

you have what i call spiritual amnesia

and the reason that you can’t forgive

nobody

else it’s cause you won’t face you

and today i’m coming to encourage you it

may be hard to look at yourself like

this

it may be difficult to be able to see

all of the spots

that have happened through your life but

i’m telling you if you

face you then god can fix you if you

face you i said it god can fix you

i believe by the power of the holy

spirit that through this series

god’s gonna allow you by his word to see

exactly the spot where it’s at

the exact when i’m looking at his word

he can reveal to me

it was when you were six years old

and your aunt told you that thing that’s

where fear came in

but until you face you god can’t fix you

let me give you the next thing you’re

gonna have to do if you forgive you

you’re gonna have to own you you can’t

just face you

own that it was on there on that it’s

been there

take oh watch this cuss word

responsibility

i know it was 95 their fault

but the only thing you can control is

what god is doing in you

on the five percent everybody say own it

yeah yeah it’s time if you’re gonna be

able to forgive you it can’t be

all them there was a time

there was a moment that that maybe you

did one little thing and yes they are

the one who did i can’t fix them

but i can’t own me and what god is

saying to his people today

is like i don’t care if they

ever recognize how they damaged you

i care that you are healed

forgive you face you

on you look what the bible says in

galatians six three

if anyone thinks they’re something when

they’re not

they deceive themselves each one should

test their what’s that word

own actions then they can take pride in

themselves alone

without comparing themselves to someone

else

i don’t have to worry what everybody

else is doing when i take responsibility

for my own actions for each one

should carry there watch this on load

like whatever my load is it’s not

compared to your load

but my own load i’m taking that

nevertheless the one who receives

instruction in the word should share

all good things with their instructor

that’s why i’m talking to you today

because i learned to carry my own load

as a pastor my staff my wife everybody

will tell you

i will say where i messed up

i will tell people that was my pride

i will tell people we’ve had brees

sitting here our chief

of staff there’s been so many times

where i came in i was like even with me

releasing music and stuff like that

we’ve done this probably three times in

the past six years where i’ve been like

this day i’m releasing music it’s god’s

timing for me

and we’re gonna see a breakthrough and i

will come back

after we’ve spent money after we’ve used

time

i thought and drove my wife crazy i’ll

be like um

uh let me get lower

let me humble myself i know i’m the

pastor of the church and i know

that i’m supposed to hear from the lord

for everybody but can i own me real

quick

i was getting frustrated about where the

ministry was in the music department

and so i decided to take matters into my

own hands

and i thought i was going to do

something to help god but i was wrong

and so i apologize for for what

i did what my part my own load

in making this hard for the whole staff

and team and natalie i need to tell you

that i apologize to you for the times

that i was giving you attitude and i was

angry at you because i had made

something in my mind that you weren’t

supporting my dreams

but you were actually there as a guard

rail to help me

stay in focus but because i had the

wrong perspective

i need to own that i did give you

attitude and that one time i forgot

about that thing i didn’t really forget

i just wanted you to feel how i felt

i wanted you to feel unsupported and so

at this current moment i need to

own me

i’m teaching now and the problem with

you

is that you want it to be everybody else

and you won’t own your load

i know they did the majority of it but

the piece i got i’ma own it

yeah natalie had sex with another dude

when we were not together

so i felt insecure so i had sex with

somebody

but she didn’t make me do that

i did that was the way i thought i’d

feel better but i gotta

own me god’s not going to call you

and your offender up and judge you

he’s not gonna call you and everybody

who contributed to you making that

decision

up before the great white throne it’s

going to be you

and my question is on earth will you

have faced you

and will you have owned you own your own

load

because it’s a key for you to actually

forgive you let me tell you the next one

you need to remind you see after

you face you and you see all of the ugly

and you own you because you actually did

it

they need you you need to remind you of

who god calls you to be

you’re not what you did you’re who he

says you are

see this is where the enemy tries to

trick people and this is where people

fall in the pit of depression

they face themselves and they own it and

then they don’t get reminded of what god

says about them

and that’s why the word of god is so

important in your life

because failure is an event it is not a

person

failure is an event i failed at that i

failed in that situation i failed at

that marriage but i’m not a failure

somebody needs to hear me say that i

failed getting into that college

i failed being able to make that team i

failed being able to raise those kids

but i’m

not a failure failure is an event

it is not a person and that’s why the

enemy really plays with people

he toys with them with the controller of

guilt and shame

but i need to you to understand because

you owned it

and you faced it but you got to remind

yourself of who god says you

are guilt is feeling bad for what you

did

but shame is feeling bad for who you are

and god’s saying i died for both of them

for the guilt and the shame

on the cross he stretched out his arms

and he died for guilt and shame

and i come to encourage somebody today

that as you start on this journey of

forgiving you

then you’re going to remember all of

these things and you’re going to be like

oh i deserve

this i deserve the consequences and god

said will you remind yourself

remind you of who i said you are you’re

a child of god according to john

john 1 and 12. i’m a friend of jesus

according to john 15

15 i have been justified and redeemed

according to romans 3 24. myself my own

self my thought self

my player self was crucified with christ

and i am no longer a slave to sin

according to romans 6 i’m worthy i’m

called

i’m chosen god has a plan for me remind

you of who god says you are

because when you forgive you god says

and i still choose you

like with every do y’all realize it

wasn’t that long ago

that pastor mike was a really bad person

like you would say don’t date him

don’t hang out with him don’t

like him and with

all my mess when i reminded myself

of who god said i am he gave me the

courage

to move past where i was because he had

a greater future for me

than i even saw for myself and today

as you face you i’m giving you practical

steps right here

then you’re gonna own you yeah i did it

but then you’re gonna remind you

that god sees more in you than anybody

that has ever been around you somebody

needs to get that

so clearly i’m gonna keep moving but

there is somebody that’s pulling on me

because you’re saying there’s no way

that god still sees good in me

he created you so there is good in you

because he is good

and everything he puts his hand in and

blows his breath into

is good you may have not had a good

season or a good chapter

but the best days of your life if you

allow it to be

are right in front of you you gotta face

it you gotta own it but you gotta remind

yourself that before

you were in your mother’s womb god knew

you he had plans for you

plans to prosper you you will live and

not die somebody’s pulling on me right

now

i bind the spirit of suicide and

depression

and anxiety that has been trying to take

somebody out god

says i love you more than your failure

and today i’m reminding you

that this is just a chapter

turn the page this

is just a chapter somebody say turn the

page

turn the page where you’ve been is not

where god has for you

this is temporary this is not the

destination

this is just transportation

turn the chapter turn the page

she somebody pulling on me charles cause

somebody was about to give up

somebody started to think about all the

things that they did and they were about

to give up but god came to remind you

today

that this is not the end

so you’re going to face you you’re going

to own you

then you’re gonna remind you and then

watch this one because it’s the one we

don’t like to talk about in church

then you’re gonna grieve you

you’re gonna grieve the you that you

thought it was gonna be

you’re going to grieve the family you

thought you were going to have

you’re going to grieve the career that

you laid down to follow god

and that hasn’t panned out to be what

you

practically saw being in the other

grieve it

feel it the holy spirit is okay with you

taking a moment

and saying this sucks

i didn’t i didn’t expect for

i didn’t expect for that one moment

of a mistake to turn into 10 years of

marriage counseling

i didn’t i didn’t expect for my wife not

to trust me i ain’t done nothing in

years

years and my phone went dead in the car

and now she pissed when we get home

because she felt like she felt back then

when i wasn’t answering the phone on

purpose but i wasn’t doing it on pr

this sucks it sucks to

to actually be honoring somebody and

they think

that you’re trying to take from them or

steal the spotlight or steal the like

when i gave up that six-figure job i

thought god was going to provide from

glory to glory faith to face next level

and i’m in this one-bedroom apartment

and i had to give up

all of my investment this sucks

it’s a part of forgiving you you can

grieve it

you can feel can i prove it to you the

bible

dedicates an entire chapter

to lamenting it’s called lamentations

do you know what that word means a song

of sorrow

god divinely let there be an entire

chapter

in the bible of billy eilish songs

like oh i had a dream

i got everything i wanted like sad

son like songs of sorrow some of the

other people like billy eilish all that

knows billy holiday

i only know billy joel like okay like

but let me give another one um

um songs of sorrow like bone thugs in

harmony

me at the crossroads songs of sorrow

what you gonna do and not gonna miss

everybody i’m not gonna

save you that like that is a sad

so like it’s getting you thinking about

people dying before it even happened

this sucks

but the holy spirit is okay

with that being part of your process

face you own you

remind you and then grieve you

grieve the body size you thought you

were gonna be

you wanted kids didn’t want roles god

kids

and roles the god of abundance

grieve it feel it

but don’t stay there

acknowledge it write it in your journals

tell your therapist

but this is not my end destination and

that’s where the enemy tries to get you

to stay

in grief but god said this is just

another step to forgiving

you so we face you

own you remind you grieve you lament

and then i want you to insulate you

i need you to bring some people around

you

i need you to get in community because

the enemy’s plan of isolation is for you

to go through this process

alone bri charles amber

wilk bishop come here see the thing that

you need to know

is that when i’m falling apart in my

life what god

does is bring people around me

ah and this is what he wants to do for

you and he’s a real people for me

like he brings people around you

that can actually insulate you yeah well

i need somebody big right here

cause right now i’m falling apart right

now i don’t even have the strength to

even

act like this is something that i can go

through my son turns five tomorrow and

he still has autism

and what’s going on in my life i don’t

know if i can be able to do by myself

did we give him the wrong medicine god

did we do something

that wasn’t right today got anything

that i did

i got to forgive me but i can’t do it

because if i didn’t have

insulation around me i’d fall apart and

damage myself

more but right now god because you’re so

good

and you’ve given me community you don’t

just want me to be able to make it by

myself

you have now called me to insulate

myself

thank you jesus and even in this moment

god i just thank you for sending people

around me

god i’ve never let them a multiplying

church i don’t know how this works

because maybe i spent the money wrong

maybe i hired the wrong person maybe i

fired the wrong person god

thank you for this insulation

thank you father that none of these

people are my blood

um family but you’ve surrounded with me

with people that are different

ethnicities and

different walks of life and have

different things and father i’m secure

when i allow myself to be insulated

see this is the thing that i want to

tell somebody that even right now

even right now as you’re standing here

and you’re seeing me do this

this was real that

this week i’m an enneagram eight

so if you know that it’s a lot for me to

really sew for real emotions

i was in an office with my executive

team

this week crying

boo-hooing like a baby

in a place of insulation

i want to give every man permission

this lie that has come from the enemy

that you got to hold it all together and

you got to walk in you the man of the

house

that came from an insecure man who has

not depended on god

god said he’s close up to the humble

i literally had to look at my staff and

tell him i need you

i need y’all to help hold me up what

god’s asking me to do what he’s calling

me to

the prayer god i don’t need you i don’t

need an accolation from fans

i need the insulation of people

who will walk with this through me and

god’s saying that the only person that

can invite those

people in is you you want to forgive you

you’re going to have to insulate

yourself nobody’s going to bombard their

way into your life

and completely be shut out of everything

to be there when you think you’re ready

some of y’all need to go to people

and you need to say i need you to walk

with me

i need to be able to call you when i’m

in this moment of temptation matter of

fact

i need you to call me whenever you feel

like it give people permission to

insulate you because

if you do not

this process never finishes

you face you you own you and then you

face you

and you own you and you face you and you

own you and then you develop this

hardness

that’s like i can handle it myself i

don’t need nobody

counseling ain’t nobody wasting money on

that but you

i was about to say all this stuff that

we waste money on

but you’re so what does it profit a man

or a woman to gain the whole world

you got a boat you got three houses you

got

all the jordans all the hypebeast shoes

you got the purses and the coach and the

louie and the birkin

you got um rent houses and vacation

homes you’ve got all of this but lose

your own mind willing emotions

because you didn’t forgive you and god’s

saying

face you own you remind you

grieve you insulate you

that’s why i i need everybody to be in

community

in the beginning of the year we’re

starting up belong groups again

and and i’m telling you at

transformation church this is great

but the way that you get the full

experience at a transformation church as

you get into community

i have community i’m not just a pastor

of this church and i reign from all i

know

i’m crying with people i’m talking to

people

i’m standing with people i’m going to

people’s house in the middle of the

night

and praying and singing over them why

because

i have to be insulated and then i have

to provide

other people with the in the insulation

two are better than one

because when one falls it didn’t say

if one falls it says when one falls it’s

going to happen

but we’ll be there to pick each other up

if this is so important that jesus even

did it

if anybody could walk this world alone

and be like y’all fool i got stuff to do

stay over there three years that’s all i

ain’t got time to talk to you

i’m the son of god all power

in my hand no

but he chose to insulate himself with 12

men

and then a core of three do y’all

remember when jesus was in the garden

and he was praying before he went to the

cross

and he asked three of his disciples to

come with him and they fell asleep

this is such a beautiful picture to me

of insulation

community because they were bad friends

at that moment they weren’t perfect

people

they were people who fell asleep when

jesus needed them

he came back gave him another

opportunity guess what

snooze button they went to sleep again

but jesus still considered it

even if it wasn’t perfect it was purpose

that he had people around him

so if it was good for the son of god our

example

why would you go through any process

alone

insulate you let me give you the last

two

you need to value you

that’s all i’ve been trying to get you

to do like y’all know this is the first

time we’re actually

this week going to forgive somebody and

it’s f you

it’s forgiving you value you

can i say something very very very

important for you to know you’re worth

it

you taking this time and holding space

for you to be able to do this process

it’s worth whatever you lose

it’s worth not getting likes on

instagram

it’s worth not going to the ball game

it’s worth your husband or your wife

having to make time

and understand that you need to do this

because you’re only

feeding them out of the emptiness that

is in you

you only can give what’s actually there

and god’s saying i want to fill you up

where there’s no hole at the bottom of

the cup

i want you to live out of your overflow

so you remember

i came that you might have life and have

life to the full

you can’t live full when you’re leaking

forgive you

value you i’m going to say something

that most pastors won’t say

but i’m a firm believer in this for many

of you to walk through

the healing that you need you need a

counselor

you need a therapist you need a

christian counselor that will help you

unpack your

baggage that was like the fourth choice

down on my list right there i had a lot

of other words i wanted to say

and i know you’ve learned how to cope

with it

it’s worth you paying somebody

less shoes more healing

less vacations more

freedom less instagram pictures

more identity i know don’t nobody want

to hear this because i’m messing up

their 2021 plans

but less flexing

and more oh jesus

forgiveness

i’ma be honest with you me and pastor

natalie

have been in intensive counseling for

the season of life we’re walking through

for the past two years your pastor

has a therapist that i go

see all the time

and it’s expensive it’s cars

like i could be driving a car instead of

going to see julianne

in colorado i love you boo

she is a part of me and natalie’s family

not because she went through what we’ve

gone through it’s because she helped

us forgive ourselves it’s because she’s

helped us unpack all the trauma

and what i’m saying to you is that it’s

worth it

value you more than a new

plastic surgery or a haircut

or a trend that will be out in six

months

value the only thing you’re gonna

live with for the rest of your life

you forgive you

value you i’m gonna give you my last one

because i’m over time

you’re worth it do you know how much

you’re worth it

look what god says in romans 8 16 he

says for the spirit joins

with our spirit to affirm you when

somebody comes to affirm you they’re

telling you

like yes you are that yes you are

valuable

yes you are the spirit comes to affirm

that we are

god’s children do you know what happens

when you realize who your daddy is

my daughters and son have a different

swag because of who their daddy is

like not because i present that i’m some

great it’s my track record with them

of doing what i said i will do being

there and showing compassion and love

that when they walk around they will

tell people my daddy

said i can have this

well it cost six dollars i don’t matter

to call my daddy said

this is mine why it’s because they’ve

been affirmed in private

they they have confidence in public

because the the affirmation

in private and god’s saying

you’re my child the spirit affirms this

you’re my children and since we are his

children i’m gonna upgrade the title

we are his heirs we’ve been so broke all

of our life we don’t understand heirs

heirs is like the generational blessing

like like there are heirs that never met

the person who made the wealth

but because they’re in the family line

they get to walk in the

same benefit and god is saying

that you’re not just my children you are

heirs

in fact together with christ we are the

heirs of god’s glory

but if we share in his glory

watch this we must also

share in his suffering if we share in

the glory

of being able to forgive we also must

share in the suffering

of being able to extend forgiveness

last one if you’re going to forgive you

i’m just begging you embrace you

embrace you right where you are right

now

make space give yourself the permission

to just embrace yourself come on just

hug yourself right there like that

like come on just put your arms around

yourself

embrace you this is who i am today

come on just i have anxiety attacks

i’m jealous i’m money hungry

i’m i i’m really jealous of my friend’s

relationship come on wherever you are

i’m not asking you to change it now just

embrace it

i act like i read the bible but i’m

actually very

intimidated by the word of god i’m

i’m still dabbling in pornography

i love my family i don’t like them

embrace you

wherever you are right now i’m very

awkward about my identity

i don’t know what god’s calling me to do

i’m

very unsure of my purpose it’s okay

embrace you just take this moment i

thought we would be farther by now

me and my husband plan to be in a house

by now we don’t want our kids growing up

like this it’s okay

i know some of you want the service to

be over but the only thing that you can

do right now

is embrace where you’re at it’s not

going to change today or tomorrow

but you can embrace this moment i

thought i would be further i thought i

would make more money

i thought my kids would appreciate me

more i thought my

world would my impact would be worldwide

right now but it’s literally

in my room embrace it this is where i’m

at

and god’s saying right from here

right from this place of pain

you can forgive you from right here

[Music]

from this moment

all we’re going to do from right here

this week

you’re going to make space some of you

need to get off of social media the rest

of this week

yep some of you need to all the plans

you had

you need two hours every day just to go

through this process and embrace it

oh do you really want to change or you

thought it was going to happen in a

sunday service

and you got a sprinkle and a touch and

you was able to go it took 30 years for

you to be this messed up

and you won’t give god 30 days to change

it

what are we going to do

how are we going to move what is our

response

f you i’m gonna forgive you

yeah i’m gonna forgive you michael i’mma

face you

i’m gonna own you yeah

i’ma remind you of who god calls you

i’m gonna grieve the idea

of your daughters not ever hearing

that you cheated on their mommy

i’m agree i’m gonna grieve that i’m

gonna have to explain it to him

i’m gonna have to tell him that daddy

was not an example of a god that you

need to trust your heart with i’m

grieving it

the only way i’m going to make it

through that is because i’m going to

insulate

yeah i’m going to i’m going to bring

people around me to be in the fight with

me to join arms with me to pray for me

to pray through it with me

to call me out when i’m on my bull and

to stand with me

when i’m feeling beaten yeah

and i’m gonna value i’m going to value

me

i’m going to value me enough to in the

middle of the success

of relationship goals being a new york

times bestseller i’ma value me

enough to go ahead and honor god and

honor the word and go on sabbatical

and yeah it means i’m going to come off

the new york times bestseller and yeah

that means money is going to be taken

out of my

pocket for my family and yeah that mean

but i think i’m worth more

than what i can produce

i’ma value me i’m not i’m not defined

by what other people think of me i’m

defined by who god says i am

i’m gonna value me and even if it’s

one inch a year

one inch a month one inch a week

i’m going to embrace where i’m at right

now

nephew forgive you

i’ve taken all this time to lay out a

practical plan

for you to humble yourself

and say god whatever

you want to do in me here i am

i can’t control them but i got the key

to this

if i put my life in your hands

i can be free if that’s you wherever you

are right now i want to pray for you if

that’s you you’re saying

i want to make this step i want to

forgive myself

i’m saying fu to myself and i’m telling

you this week

you need to put your cell phone up and

just say i forgive you i want you to

post it

i don’t you don’t got to give no

explanation to anybody else in the world

but i just want you to post i forgive

you

and i’m gonna do it too i’ma i’m gonna

stand and i’m gonna say michael i

forgive you

and people all over the world will be

interested what are they forgiving

themselves for it doesn’t matter

because this is a process that god is

going to affirm

privately and it’s going to show up in

my life publicly

but i will forgive

and it’s going to start with me father i

pray right now for every person

every brother and sister that is under

the sound of my voice father god

i believe your spirit is working right

now father you’re uncovering

and uncapping old whales of hurt and

pain

frustration lies father god and i thank

you right now by your spirit

you are coming to help people walk

through this process

of forgiveness father they will not and

start with forgiving others but by your

spirit father they’re going to be able

to walk through this process of

forgiving themselves i pray for freedom

i pray for the keys father god for them

being able to unlock themselves

from childhood wounds unlock themselves

from fragrant

situations that they put themselves in

to unlock themselves to own themselves

to give themselves the ability to value

and embrace this moment right now

god i’m praying that you bring godly

people all around them father to

insulate them

god i thank you that this week will be

massive deliverance

not because of what somebody else did

but because we looked in the mirror and

we faced it

and what your spirit is going to do in

our lives today we trust you

as tears are flowing all over the world

right now as hearts

are being moved right now we’re saying

make us over again

yeah that’s what i hear the holy spirit

say make

me over again say

lord make me

oh come on just say

[Music]

[Music]

come on just confess

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again do it in me first god

somebody say say make me over again

come on just say that again just cry out

say make me up

in this empty arena card i’m crying out

show me me

make me over again

if you’re under the sound of my voice

and you want to ask christ into your

life

this is the best time to do it

like when you about to go on this

journey of trying to get free

the bible says that the holy spirit

which comes to us

in salvation his one of his names is the

paraclete

the one who comes alongside of us to

help us

and what god wants to do is he wants to

help you but he’s

a gentleman he’s not going to knock your

life door down

and i am the holy one of israel let me

in

the bible says he stands at the door and

he knocks and today god’s been knocking

on somebody so you don’t even know why

you’re watching this you don’t even know

how you got in the room

you don’t even know why you stayed at

that person’s house and why this is on

right now and god’s saying i do because

this was a divine

setup for you to receive

salvation if you want to receive that

today all you have to do according to

romans 10 9

is believe and confess that jesus christ

is lord

and he died for you that’s what i did

when i believed it was the thing that

changed me i repented i turned

from what i was going to and i turned to

god

and the rest of this i know religion is

going to tell you need to clean up you

need to change this you need to stop

smoking you need to stop drinking no no

no no no god is gonna help you do that

when you look at the mirror

of the word you’re gonna start seeing

there’s things that don’t line up with

it

but god’s saying salvation grace is

available to you right now

and if you give him your habits he’ll

help you change them and right here you

can belong here before you behave

that’s what happened to me it was my

love for god and my understanding

for what he did for me that caused me to

change that was progression

not perfection today i want to offer

that to you

on the count of three we’re about to

pray but if you want to be added in that

prayer

if you’re saying pastor i want to

start receiving the forgiveness

that has already been provided through

jesus christ i want you to lift your

hands

one you’re making the greatest decision

of your life two it’s the thing that

took me from being a liar

a manipulator of somebody who was all

into sexual perversion and it

transformed my life three lift your

hands right now all over the world

i don’t care if you’re watching this on

rebroadcast right now god sees you

i don’t have to see you god sees you and

heaven is rejoicing

because we’re gonna pray this prayer

together and you know transformation

nation

nobody here prays alone you understand

we’re going to insulate these people

we’re going to be their community right

now and if that’s you

i want you to pray this prayer with all

of us say father god

thank you for forgiving me today

i give you my life i ask you

to come in i believe you lived

and you died just for me

change me renew me

transform me i’m yours in

jesus name amen listen if you

just prayed that prayer i want to tell

you that all of heaven

and everybody in this room is rejoicing

over the one person that came

to christ when i tell you

that everything right now is about to

start changing for you

if you would allow god to come in and

help you and you just did it

i want you to text the number on your

screen because we want to give you some

steps to help you walk this out

i’m telling you that week five is just

the beginning this is where we start

forgiving people but next week we’re

going to a whole nother level

we’re about to hit buttons it’s about to

be surgery but i’m telling you

as we make it through this the freedom i

feel that’s going to happen at christmas

the freedom that like literally by the

end of this year i feel people are going

to be able to spread their wings and fly

like never before

forgive you i want you to go out and

have the best week of your life you are

favored

you are called you are more than enough

you are worthy

god loves you and so do we go out and

live a transformed life god bless you

what’s going on family i wanted to come

and personally tell you

about something that is a tradition here

at transformation church

at the end of every year we bring our

faith

our crazy faith to an offering we call

it our end of the year offering

and what we do is we set aside a moment

to ask god

hey is there anything you want us to

give give to this mission this vision

this idea of representing god across the

whole world

and literally for the past six years

we’ve been doing it

and it has been the catalyst for

everything else that we’ve done as a

church

we’ve been able to help in sex

trafficking we’ve been able to buy this

building and pay for it in five months

because of the generosity

the cameras that you are watching us on

right now were

because of somebody’s crazy faith to

give and in the end of the year offering

i think back and literally when the

church first started

it was the faith of a few people less

than 300

who gave 80 000 that produced the

cameras that are seeing so many over 19

000 salvations have come this year

but it started with the faith of

somebody and i want to ask you to

partner with us

join in not giving an amount asking god

is there something you want me to give

and i promise you when

you ask him he’ll speak to you this is

not about amounts

this is about growing in our faith and i

know that in a year

where many of us would be tempted to

hoard

or keep or protect what we have at

transformation church we move in

generosity

we give just to give not to give we step

out in faith we believe in god

and we believe in miracles and i believe

that god right now

is placing something on you and your

family’s heart like he’s doing for me

and natalie and our family

and we’re all on december 6 gonna give

in our crazy faith offering

i’m telling you what i’ve seen god do in

this season of the year

has been something that will never ever

nobody can

ever convince me that god is not moving

in this

moment and so i want you to join us this

is the step of faith

that maybe you’ve been praying for this

is the step of faith

that’s going to prove that all the

growth as we’ve gotten stronger this

year

actually has action in your life and i’m

so grateful and i’m gonna be praying

with you

that whatever god says for you to give

you would obey

see what we know is that obedience is

better than

any sacrifice we could give and we’re

going to move this thing together

so december 6 crazy faith offering you

can give and i’m so excited to see

what god does in this church as we

represent him

to the lost and found for transformation

in christ god bless you