Taking Care Of Yourself | Joyce Meyer’s Talk It Out Podcast w/Special Guest Holly Wagner

Have you been putting off caring for yourself for too long? And does the idea of making that happen seem totally unrealistic?

Maybe your schedule has been packed 24/7, maybe you’re struggling with feelings of guilt when you try to do anything for yourself, or maybe you’re just not sure where to start. Whether your biggest need is spiritual, physical, mental, or emotional, it’s time for some TLC.

Join us for a special Girls’ Night In episode, where we meet with Joyce + special guest Holly Wagner to discuss why it’s vital to start caring for yourself, and then talk you through some super doable steps to get you started on your self-care journey… because, girl, you’re worth it!

XO,

Joyce, Ginger, Jai & Erin

– – – – – – –

Joyce Meyer, one of the world’s leading practical Bible teachers and New York Times best-selling author, shares encouragement and advice to help us enjoy our daily lives.

With a heart to share Christ and love people, Joyce’s messages help people in all walks of life to grow in their faith, learn to study the Bible, find healing from the wounds of life, get answers to life’s questions and encounter the love of God in a powerful way.

GINGER: HI FRIENDS,
WELCOME TO JOYCE MEYER’S

TALK IT OUT PODCAST,
WHERE JOYCE TEACHES

THE WORD OF GOD IN HER
PRACTICAL NO-NONSENSE WAY,

AND ALL OF OUR FRIENDS TALK
ABOUT THE REAL STUFF OF LIVING

IT AND HOLD NOTHING BACK.

TODAY, WE HAVE SOMETHING
REALLY SPECIAL.

YOU ARE HERE, JUST IN TIME,
BECAUSE OUR GIRLS’ NIGHT IN,

WAS JUST A COUPLE WEEKS AGO,
SO ALL OF THE GIRLS FROM

GIRLS’ NIGHT IN HAD THE CHANCE
TO SIT DOWN AND DO A–

SUCH A FUN TALK IT OUT PODCAST.

SO, WE HAVE THAT FOR YOU TODAY.

GOOD STUFF; WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT HOW TO TAKE CARE

OF OURSELVES.

SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH,
AND WE’RE GONNA TO TELL YOU WHY.

ESPECIALLY, WHEN IT’S BIBLICALLY
BASED CHANGES, EVERYTHING.

SO, DON’T GO AWAY,
IT’S SO MUCH FUN TOO.

SO, HERE IT COMES,
HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.

[MUSIC]

GINGER: WE HOPE THAT ALL
OF YOU HAVE BECOME FAMILIAR WITH

JOYCE’S TALK IT OUT PODCAST.

EVERY OTHER TUESDAY,
WE RELEASE A NEW EPISODE WHERE

JOYCE TEACHES THE WORD
OF GOD IN HER WONDERFUL,

PRACTICAL WAY.

AND THEN, JAI,
AND ERIN CLULEY AND I,

WE STUDY THE WORD,
AND WE TALK ABOUT IT.

BASICALLY, WE JUST TRY
TO MAKE A LIFE THAT MAKES

A LITTLE BIT OF SENSE.

SO, WHENEVER WE NEED SOME HELP,
JOYCE IS ALWAYS HERE.

SO, WE GET JOYCE TODAY.

BUT NOT ONLY DO WE GET JOYCE,
WE ALSO GET HOLLY HERE WITH US.

HOLLY: WELL, THANKS FOR
LETTING ME CRASH THIS PARTY.

GINGER: ABSOLUTELY.

WHAT COULD BE BETTER?

NO CRASHING INVOLVED.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY INVITED.

I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION
TO GET STARTED, JOYCE,

‘CUZ THAT’S WHAT I DO.

JOYCE: OF COURSE YOU WILL.

GINGER: I JUST ASK
JOYCE QUESTIONS.

JAI: SHE’S SO GOOD AT IT.

ERIN: SHE’S SMART.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

GINGER: I THINK PEOPLE,
WHEN WE THINK ABOUT

SELF-CARE IT SOUNDS SELFISH.

AND, OF COURSE, IN YOUR NEW BOOK
ABOUT AGING WITHOUT GETTING OLD,

IT’S ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS
IS THAT, DOING TODAY,

WHAT WILL MATTER FOR OUR FUTURE.

SO, HOW DO WE UNDERSTAND
THAT IT’S IMPORTANT

AND NOT SELFISH.

JOYCE: WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
IF YOU DON’T TAKE CARE

OF YOURSELF, YOU WILL GET
TO THE POINT WHERE YOU CANNOT

TAKE CARE OF ANYBODY ELSE.

AND SO, MANY PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY,
CHRISTIANS, WE’RE TAUGHT

TO SERVE, AND TO HELP,
AND TO TAKE CARE

OF OTHER PEOPLE.

AND THEN, MAYBE,
IF YOU THROW INTO THAT

SOMEBODY WHO’S INSECURE.

AND SO, THEY BECOME
A PEOPLE-PLEASER

AND THEY DON’T WANT
TO MAKE ANYBODY MAD.

AND THEY DON’T WANNA
TELL ANYBODY, “NO,” AND SO,

PRETTY SOON YOU’VE GOT
SOMEBODY THAT, YOU KNOW,

IT JUST IS LITERALLY KILLING
THEMSELVES IN LITTLE,

TINY DEGREES THINKING THAT
THEY’RE DOING GOD’S WILL.

GINGER: YEAH, THAT’S TRUE.

JOYCE: BUT IT’S NOT
NECESSARILY GOD’S WILL FOR

US TO SAY, “YES,” TO EVERYBODY
WHO WANTS TO HEAR, “YES.”

AND, COURSE, YOU KNOW,
I TELL MY STORY.

I MADE MYSELF SICK
SEVERAL TIMES.

BUT THE LAST TIME,
I MADE MYSELF SICK ENOUGH

THAT IT SCARED THE LIVING
TAR OUT OF ME, AND IT TOOK

ME ALMOST TWO AND A HALF YEARS
TO COME BACK FROM IT.

AND SO, I DO TAKE CARE
OF MYSELF, NOW.

AND WHEN I GET TIRED,
I REST AND I SAY, “NO,” A LOT.

AND YOU KNOW, OF COURSE,
I’M OLDER.

BUT I REALLY HOPE WITH THIS
BOOK THAT PEOPLE DON’T THINK,

“WELL, I DON’T NEED THAT.

I’M ONLY 50.”
I HEARD SOMEBODY SAY–

SHE WAS 52 AND SHE SAYS,
OH, I DON’T NEED THAT YET.”

BUT THAT’S EXACTLY WHEN
YOU DO NEED IT.

HOLLY: A HUNDRED PERCENT,
THAT’S WHEN YOU NEED IT.

GINGER: AND THIRTY, TOO.

ERIN: I NEED THAT BOOK.

JOYCE: AND PEOPLE NEED
IT IN THEIR TWENTIES

OR IN THEIR THIRTIES.

LIKE, I ASKED YOU,
ONE DAY–YOU KNOW,

AND YOU’RE 20 YEARS YOUNGER
THAN ME.

I ASKED YOU,
“ARE YOU STARTING TO FEEL ANY

DIFFERENCES IN YOUR BODY?”
AND YOU SHARED WITH ME SOME

OF THE THINGS THAT YOU
EXPERIENCE WHEN YOU GO OUT

OF THE COUNTRY,
NOW, THAT YOU DIDN’T BEFORE.

GINGER: SO MANY THINGS.

JOYCE: SO MANY
DIFFERENT THINGS.

BUT I DO–I THINK THAT
AS A CHRISTIAN,

WE CAN BE MADE TO FEEL,
WITHOUT ANYBODY INTENDING TO,

THAT YOU KNOW, ALL WE SHOULD
DO IS FOR OTHER PEOPLE.

YOU KNOW, LIKE I’M GETTING
READY TO DO SOME TEACHING,

IN THE STUDIO HERE,
IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS,

ON, “WHAT MAKES A GREAT MAN,
GREAT?”

WELL, IT’S BEING A SERVANT.

BUT BEING A SERVANT DOESN’T
NECESSARILY MEAN THAT

YOU HAVE TO SAY,
“YES,” TO EVERY SINGLE THING

THAT EVERYBODY ASKS YOU TO DO.

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO,
IS KNOW WHAT GOD WANTS

YOU TO DO, AND HAVE THE COURAGE
TO SAY, “NO,” TO PEOPLE IF–

HOW MANY TIMES DOES OUR
MOUTH SAY, “YES,” WHEN OUR

HEART’S SCREAMING, “NO”?

LADIES: YEAH.

JOYCE: YOU KNOW,
WE DON’T WANT TO HURT

SOMEBODY’S FEELINGS,
WE DON’T WANNA MAKE ANYBODY MAD.

WE DON’T WANT ANYBODY MAD AT US.

WE WANT EVERYBODY TO LOVE US.

AND PEOPLE-PLEASING IS PROBABLY
ONE OF THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS.

BUT YOU’RE NOT BEING SELFISH,
IF YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,

YOU’RE BEING FOOLISH,
IF YOU DON’T.

HOLLY: THE THING, I THINK,
THAT’S INSPIRING ABOUT YOU,

AND THAT YOU’VE ALWAYS SHARED
IS YOUR SELF-CARE ISN’T JUST

SITTING IN THE BATHTUB
LIGHTING A CANDLE.

LISTEN, THAT’S AWESOME,
AND WE SHOULD ALL DO THAT,

BUT YOU ACTUALLY, EXERCISE.

SO, YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,
SO THAT YOU HAVE THE STAMINA

TO DO SOME OF THE THINGS.

SO, TO ME, IT’S LIKE,
AS MUCH AS I LOVE JUST

CHOCOLATES AND A BATH,
ALSO, WORKING OUT IS SELF-CARE,

FOR ME.

RIGHT?

SO THAT I CAN RUN THE RACE.

GINGER: WELL, HOLLY,
LET’S TALK ABOUT YOU,

BECAUSE YOU’VE HAD SOME
PHYSICAL TRIALS IN YOUR LIFE.

I’M SURE YOU HAD TO LEARN
TO CARE FOR YOURSELF DIFFERENTLY

GOING THROUGH CANCER.

HOLLY: YEAH, FOR SURE.

I HAD TO–WELL, YOU KNOW,
I TALK ABOUT I HAD TO LEARN

TO EAT DIFFERENTLY.

LIKE, EATING RIGHT IS CARING
FOR YOURSELF.

I MEAN, TO SAY, “NO,”
TO BISCUITS, IT’S LIKE REALLY

HARD FOR ME.

WE ALL HAVE OUR THING, RIGHT?

IT’S BISCUITS, WHATEVER,
WHATEVER.

JOYCE: MINE’S NOT A BISCUIT.

HOLLY: OKAY, WHAT IS YOURS?

WHAT IS IT HARD FOR
YOU TO SAY, “NO.”

LIKE, IF IT WAS GOOD FOR YOU,
YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT IT?

JOYCE: IT WOULD BE PASTA
FOR ME.

I COULD EAT PASTA EVERY
SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE.

LADIES: YEAH, THAT’S A GOOD
CHOICE, ME TOO.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JAI: ONE OF THE THINGS THAT
ME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS

DID LAST NIGHT, WE DID–
HOLLY: THANKS FOR

INVITING ME, BY THE WAY.

JAI: I’M SO SORRY.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

HOLLY: WHATEVER.

JAI: NEXT TIME.

I PROMISE, GIRL.

BUT LAST NIGHT, A GROUP
OF US GOT TOGETHER ON A ZOOM.

AND WE HAD–WE HAD FUN PARTY
GAMES AND WE WERE

ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY.

AND SO, IT WAS REALLY,
REALLY FUN.

GINGER: THAT’S GREAT IDEA.

JAI: IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.

AND WE ACTUALLY, SURPRISED ONE
OF OUR FRIENDS, WHO WAS HAVING

A HARD TIME.

HER HUSBAND, ACTUALLY,
HELPED PUT IT TOGETHER

AND WE ALL CAME TOGETHER.

AND IT WAS ABOUT
20 OF US ON A ZOOM CALL,

AND WE JUST,
WERE IN OUR JAMMIES…

HOLLY: THAT’S A GOOD IDEA.

JAI: YEAH, AND WE JUST
ATE AND PLAYED GAMES.

SO, LIKE, THAT’S WHAT I SAID
LAST NIGHT, BECAUSE THESE TIMES,

YOU HAVE TO BE CREATIVE IN ORDER
TO SPEND THAT GIRL TIME.

JOYCE: WELL, AND YOU KNOW,
THE THING IS, IS EVERYBODY HAS

TO DO WHAT WORKS FOR THEM.

LADIES: YEAH.

JOYCE: LIKE,
WHAT YOU JUST DESCRIBED,

MIGHT NOT BE RESTFUL TO ME.

TO ME, I LOVE QUIET.

GINGER: “HOW DO YOU MAKE
THIS ZOOM THING WORK?”

JOYCE: YEAH, “HOW DO YOU
MAKE THE ZOOM THING WORK?”

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: FIRST OF ALL,
I’D HAVE TO HAVE SOMEBODY

COME AND SIT WITH ME TO DO IT.

BUT TRYING TO TALK
TO 20 DIFFERENT PEOPLE

AROUND THE COUNTRY,
I’D PROBABLY BE GOING…

AND SO, BUT FOR ME, I LOVE–
LIKE TO HAVE, JUST QUIET.

JAI: OH, YEAH.

JOYCE: SOMETIMES,
I’LL TELL MY HUSBAND,

“JUST GO SOMEWHERE.”
I JUST WANT IT TO BE QUIET.

SO, EACH PERSON,
LIKE PEOPLE LISTENING TO US,

I DON’T WANT YOU TO FEEL
LIKE YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I DO,

OR WHAT YOU DO,
OR WHAT YOU DO,

OR WHAT YOU DO,
OR WHAT YOU DO.

YOU KNOW, YOU NEED TO KNOW
WHAT HELPS YOU RELAX,

AND WHATEVER THAT IS FOR YOU.

IT COULD BE A WALK,
IT COULD BE A NAP,

IT COULD BE SOMETHING QUIET,
BUT IT’S YOU FINDING WHAT

HELPS YOU RELAX AND EVEN,
CONNECT WITH GOD.

I THINK THAT JUST THAT
CONNECTION WITH GOD,

REALLY HELPS YOU RELAX.

ERIN: DO YOU THINK
IT’S TRUE THAT,

THAT CHANGES PER SEASON, LIKE,
FOR WHATEVER SEASON YOU’RE IN?

SO, LIKE, I HAVE LITTLE KIDS.

SO, THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS
I JUST AM NOT GONNA BE ABLE

TO DO, RIGHT NOW.

BUT–THAT YOU’RE ABLE TO CHANGE
THOSE AS YOU GROW

TO DIFFERENT SEASONS.

JOYCE: AND ONE OF THOSE–
ONE OF THE GROUPS OF PEOPLE

THAT HAVE BEEN ON MY HEART
FOR THIS IS LIKE,

ALL THE YOUNG MOMS.

LADIES: YEAH.

JOYCE: YOU KNOW,
WE CAN DO THINGS.

I MEAN, I CAN DO WHATEVER
I WANT TO, NOW.

YOU KNOW?

YOU GET OLD ENOUGH,
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU PLEASE.

GINGER: HERE’S A QUESTION
FOR THE YOUNG MOMS.

IT’S, “WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU WENT TO THE BATHROOM ALONE?”

NOBODY GETS TO.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

ERIN: HOW OLD IS MY OLDEST?

SIX YEARS AGO.

JOYCE: YEAH, RIGHT.

SIX YEARS AGO.

HOLLY: THAT’S SOMEBODY’S
DEFINITION OF SELF-CARE,

GOING POTTY BY MYSELF.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: BUT EVEN,
FOR A YOUNG MOM, AND MAYBE,

THERE’S A FEW PEOPLE WHO
COULDN’T EVEN DO THIS, BUT–

YOU WILL SPEND MONEY
ON SOME THINGS,

BUT WOULD YOU SPEND MONEY
TO GET SOMEBODY TO WATCH

YOUR KIDS, ONCE A MONTH,
SO YOU COULD JUST GO.

ERIN: OH, ABSOLUTELY NOT.

JOYCE: YEAH, SEE.

WELL, YOU SHOULD.

ERIN: ‘CUZ I WOULD FEEL
NOTHING BUT GUILT.

JOYCE: YEAH, BUT SEE,
YOU SHOULDN’T DO THAT.

GINGER: WE GOTTA FIX THAT.

ERIN: WELL, LET’S FIX IT.

HOLLY: WE’LL HAVE
AN INTERVENTION, RIGHT HERE.

ERIN: OKAY, I’M READY.

I’M LISTENING.

GINGER: SIT ON THE TABLE,
HERE, IN THE MIDDLE.

ERIN: MOVE THOSE FLOWERS
OUT OF THE WAY.

JOYCE: YOU KNOW A STATEMENT
THAT I AM TIRED OF HEARING

FROM PEOPLE…

GINGER: UH-OH.

JOYCE: “OH, I CAN
DO WITHOUT THAT.”

LADIES: OH, YEAH.

JOYCE: “I CAN
DO WITHOUT THAT.”

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

ANYBODY CAN DO WITHOUT
A LOT OF THINGS,

BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN
YOU SHOULD.

THE QUESTION IS, SHOULD YOU?

AND YOU NEED TO GET
TO THE ROOT OF WHY YOU FEEL

GUILTY WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING
FOR YOURSELF.

ERIN: IT’S–WELL,
LET ME TELL YOU.

‘CUZ THE LORD SHOWED ME TODAY,
LET ME TELL YOU WHY.

JOYCE: LET’S TALK.

ERIN: I FEEL VALIDATED
WHEN I AM BUSY ALL THE TIME.

HERE WE GO.

GINGER: THERE’S A LOT OF US,
LIKE THAT.

ERIN: ALL MY FRIENDS,
LET’S ALL TALK WITH US TOGETHER.

HOLLY: THEY’RE LEAVING YOU
OUT THERE ON THE LEDGE.

ERIN: YEAH, YOU ALL ARE
JUST WATCHING.

IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT
MYSELF BECAUSE I’M DOING IT.

“I’M PROBABLY THE ONLY ONE
CAPABLE OF DOING ALL THESE.”

JOYCE: WELL, WHY DO YOU
THINK I ALMOST WORKED

MYSELF TO DEATH?

ERIN: YEAH, RIGHT.

JOYCE: I FELT BETTER,
WHEN I WAS ACCOMPLISHING

SOMETHING, THAN I DID–
I FELT GUILTY IF I WAS

DOING NOTHING.

AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
I’VE LEARNED SOME

LESSONS THE HARD WAY.

AND I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO HOPE
THAT MY EXPERIENCE CAN HELP

SOMEBODY NOT HAVE
TO GO THROUGH WHAT

I WENT THROUGH TO LEARN.

THERE’S NO REASON–
YOU LISTEN TO MAMA.

ERIN: YES, MA’AM.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: THERE IS NO REASON
FOR YOU TO FEEL GUILTY WHEN

YOU DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF,
YOU’RE ACTUALLY BEING

VERY UNWISE IF YOU DON’T.

ERIN: OKAY.

IT’S HARD BECAUSE THE WORLD
DOES NOT TELL YOU THAT.

AND IT–YOU PUT–
WE PUT SO MUCH–

I PUT SO MUCH ON MYSELF IN THAT.

THAT’S NOT WHERE MY WORTH
COMES FROM, THAT’S WHAT I DO.

GOD LOVES ME, FOR ME.

SO, I DON’T NEED
TO PROVE ANYTHING.

JOYCE: I KNOW, BUT EVERYBODY
THAT HAS THIS PROBLEM,

THAT’S PART OF THAT PROBLEM.

THEY FEEL MORE WORTHY.

AND I KNOW, LIKE,
WHEN I WAS GROWING UP,

NOT ONLY WAS I SEXUALLY
ABUSED BY MY DAD,

BUT HE WAS REALLY MEAN.

AND HE DIDN’T ENJOY LIFE,
SO HE DIDN’T WANT

ANYBODY ELSE TO.

AND I REMEMBER GETTING
IN TROUBLE FOR LAUGHING

OR HAVING FUN,
BUT AS LONG AS I WAS WORKING,

HE WAS OKAY.

SO, I GREW UP WITH THAT,
AS LONG AS I’M WORKING,

EVERYBODY’S GONNA
BE HAPPY WITH ME.

AND SO, THEN I PUT THAT INTO
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD,

AS LONG AS I’M WORKING,
YOU KNOW?

GINGER: SO, YOU KNOW,
THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO ARE

IN THAT SITUATION WHERE EITHER,
THEY’RE GETTING THEIR WORTH

AND VALUE OUT OF EVERYTHING
THAT THEY FEEL THAT THEY

HAVE TO ACCOMPLISH,
OR THEY JUST DON’T KNOW

ANOTHER WAY TO DO LIFE.

JOYCE: SOMETIMES,
YOU ARE IN A SITUATION,

FOR A PERIOD OF TIME,
WHERE YOU HAVE

TO STRETCH YOURSELF.

BUT ONE OF THE THINGS
THAT I BELIEVE,

WITH ALL MY HEART IS,
IF GOD WANTS YOU DOING

SOMETHING, HE WILL GIVE YOU
THE GRACE TO DO IT.

AND IF THERE’S NO GRACE ON YOU,
AND YOU FIND YOURSELF

COMPLAINING ABOUT
IT ALL THE TIME,

AND BEING MISERABLE,
THEN YOU NEED TO FIND

ANOTHER SOLUTION.

YOU NEED TO ASK FOR HELP.

YOU NEED TO GO TO OTHER FAMILY
MEMBERS AND SAY, “I CAN’T

DO THIS BY MYSELF ANYMORE.”
YOU KNOW, WE’RE NOT VERY GOOD

AT SAYING, “I CAN’T.”
HOLLY: OR, “HELP ME.”

I DON’T THINK WE’RE ALWAYS
THAT GREAT AT ASKING FOR HELP.

JOYCE: NO WE’RE NOT.

HOLLY: AND SO, I THINK THAT’S
ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO HELP

IN SITUATIONS, IT’S JUST SAY,
“I JUST NEED SOME HELP,”

AND I THINK WE’RE NOT
THAT GREAT AT THAT.

JAI: I REMEMBER,
ONE OF THE BIGGEST THINGS THAT

MADE ME REALIZE HOW MUCH
I DIDN’T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF,

ALMOST 18 YEARS,
WAS THE FACT WHEN I WENT

TO THE GROCERY STORE,
FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER

MY DAUGHTER, YOU KNOW,
WENT TO FLORIDA WITH HER

DAD FOR A LITTLE BIT,
AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT

TO GET FROM THE GROCERY STORE.

‘CUZ I WAS SO USED TO GETTING
THINGS THAT EVERYBODY

ELSE WANTED.

IT WAS A SIMPLE THING LIKE THAT,
THAT I STARTED CRYING.

I’M IN A GROCERY STORE LIKE,
“I DON’T KNOW WHAT

TO GET MYSELF.”
LIKE, I’M SO USED TO–

AND I WAS PROGRAMMED,
I DIDN’T EVEN NEED A LIST.

I JUST WOULD GET THE SAME
THINGS THAT–

BUT I’M LIKE, “I GOT EVERYTHING
THAT THEY LIKED,”

THEN I HAD TO START
ASKING MYSELF,

“WHAT DO I LIKE?”
SO, EVEN IF YOU’RE A CAREGIVER,

IT’S DIFFERENT THAN MY STORY,
BUT EVEN IF YOU’RE A CAREGIVER,

A SIMPLE THING OF SELF-CARE
COULD JUST BE,

ADD SOMETHING ON THAT
GROCERY LIST THAT YOU LIKE.

LIKE, BUT CONSIDER YOURSELF,
EVEN IN THE SMALLEST OF THINGS.

HOLLY: GET THE BISCUITS.

JAI: GET THE BISCUITS.

NOT EVERY DAY, NOW.

DON’T GET ‘EM EVERY DAY,
BUT GET ‘EM SOMETIMES.

JOYCE: THAT’S GOOD.

DON’T GET THEM EVERY DAY.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JAI: SOMETIMES.

JUST ONE BISCUIT A MONTH.

JOYCE: ONE BISCUIT
A MONTH [LAUGHING].

GINGER: THAT’S REALLY GOOD
THOUGH BECAUSE IT IS SOMETIMES

THE LITTLE THINGS THAT
MEAN A GREAT DEAL.

IF YOU CAN START WITH
SOMETHING SMALL,

AND BEGIN FINDING THOSE
THINGS THAT GIVE YOU

A LITTLE SATISFACTION,
GIVE YOU A LITTLE RESPITE,

GOD’S LITTLE WINKS TO YOU.

YOU KNOW, THOSE THINGS
ARE SO IMPORTANT.

AND THEN, YOU’LL BEGIN FINDING
MAYBE A LITTLE LARGER

GAP HERE AND THERE.

AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
YOU’RE LEARNING, I GUESS,

THE WAY THAT GOD REALLY WANTS
US TO CARE FOR OUR SELF AND NOT

FEELING AS GUILTY ABOUT IT.

IT DOES CHANGE, DOESN’T IT?

THE MORE YOU START
TO DO THOSE THINGS; YOU FEEL

LESS GUILT ALONG THE WAY.

JOYCE: WELL, YES, YOU DO,
AND YOU KNOW,

I’M THINKING ABOUT
YOU ASKING ABOUT–

BACK TO YOU AGAIN.

ERIN: OKAY.

I THOUGHT WE HAD MOVED ON.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

ERIN: TELL ME MORE.

“BUT ERIN…”
JOYCE: YOU TALKED ABOUT

THE SEASONS OF LIFE
AND IT’S TRUE.

WHEN YOU’RE YOUNG
AND YOU HAVE LITTLE KIDS,

YOU KNOW, I MEAN,
I WATCH MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW

AND SHE’S HOMESCHOOLING…

ERIN: SHE’S AMAZING.

JOYCE: FOUR LITTLE BOYS,
AND I DON’T KNOW

HOW SHE DOES IT.

AND THEN, I REMEMBER THAT
I RAISED FOUR KIDS AND STARTED

A MINISTRY WHEN I HAD A BABY
AND THREE TEENAGERS,

AND I DON’T KNOW HOW
I DID THAT EITHER.

BUT THAT’S PART OF THE REASON
WHY I’M WRITING THE BOOKS

AND I’M WRITING, NOW.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: SOMETHING I THINK
THAT IT’S IMPORTANT TO SAY

TO EVERYBODY;
WE MAKE EXCUSES ABOUT

JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING, BUT–
AND PLEASE HEAR

ME WHEN I SAY THIS,
IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING

BAD ENOUGH,
YOU WILL FIND A WAY TO DO IT.

GINGER: YEAH,
THAT’S REALLY GOOD.

JOYCE: I MEAN YOU WILL.

GINGER: YEAH, WE STARTED
AND PRETTY MUCH ALREADY

ANSWERED THAT QUESTION ABOUT,
“WHEN I’M BUSY, DOES MAKE

ME FEEL MORE IMPORTANT,
LIKE, I MATTER.”

HERE’S A QUESTION FOR EVERYONE.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO WRITE
THIS ON THE BOARD,

BUT WHEN YOU’RE BUSY,
DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE,

GOD LOVES YOU MORE?

AND I THINK THAT’S SOMETHING
THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE DEAL WITH.

THEY THINK, “IF I DON’T
DO ALL THESE THINGS FOR GOD,

I’M GONNA LET HIM DOWN.

HE WON’T BE HAPPY WITH ME.

I NEED TO KEEP STRIVING IN ORDER
TO EARN WHATEVER I NEED.”

AND YOU KNOW,
WE CAN SAY THAT’S NOT

THE WAY GOD WORKS,
BUT SOMETIMES, IT’S HARDER

TO GET THAT IN DEEPER.

HOLLY: WELL, THAT WAS LIKE,
I FEEL LIKE THAT WAS

THE LESSON FOR ME,
LIKE IN THE LAST TWO YEARS.

WAS SOMETHING,
I JUST ALLUDED TO,

IT’S JUST LIKE, BEING STILL.

RIGHT, ‘CUZ, IT SAYS,
“BE STILL AND KNOW THAT

I AM GOD,” MAYBE IF I’M GOING
TO REALLY KNOW WHO HE IS,

I HAVE TO BE STILL.

AND THAT’S NOT MY STRENGTH,
RIGHT, THAT’S NOT MY GO-TO.

TO SOME PEOPLE THAT’S EASIER
FOR THEM, BUT IT ISN’T FOR ME,

I’M THE HUMAN-DOING,
NOT THE BEING, RIGHT?

SO, THE DOING THINGS;
I LIKE TO PRAY, I LIKE TO WOR–

I MEAN, EVEN THE SPIRITUAL
DISCIPLINES,

I LIKE THE DOING ONES.

RIGHT?

SO, FOR ME, RIGHT, IT WAS
THE CARE–

‘CUZ I WAS GONNA BE IN A NOT
GOOD PLACE IF I DIDN’T, RIGHT?

SO, JUST BEING STILL.

JUST STILL AND LETTING HIM
TALK TO ME, BREATHE DEEPLY,

YOU KNOW?

THAT STILLNESS WAS A HUGE
HABIT CHANGE FOR ME.

ERIN: HAD THAT IT HAPPEN
THIS MORNING,

AS I WAS PRAYING AND GETTING
READY FOR TODAY,

AND I WAS DOING THE THINGS,
I WAS SEEING THE WORSHIP MUSIC,

AND READING THE BIBLE, AND THEN,
ALL OF A SUDDEN,

I JUST SAT STILL,
AND I GOT SO EMOTIONAL.

BECAUSE WHEN I WAS
STILL BEFORE GOD,

IT’S LIKE HIS LOVE JUST
WASHED OVER ME.

AND HAD I NOT JUST SAT
THERE FOR A SECOND,

I WOULD HAVE MISSED THAT MOMENT.

BECAUSE I WAS DOING
THE THINGS FOR GOD.

JAI: I WAS A SELF-PROCLAIMED
MARTHA.

ERIN: OH, YES.

JAI: I WAS LIKE,
I JUST GOTTA KEEP GOING,

KEEP GOING.

LIKE, I’M A PASTOR’S KID,
I’VE BEEN IN MINISTRY

ALL MY LIFE, AND GREW
UP DOING CHURCH

AND DOING MINISTRY.

AND THIS PAST EASTER WAS
MY VERY FIRST EASTER NOT DOING,

AND I FELT–
I FELT ALMOST GUILTY LIKE,

“I’M NOT LEADING WORSHIP
OR PUTTING ON A BIG

PRODUCTION,” LIKE, YOU KNOW?

HOLLY: ARE YOU STILL
A CHRISTIAN?

I’M JUST WONDERING.

JAI: EXACTLY, I HAD TO ASK
MYSELF THAT.

I SAID, “AM I SAVED?”
LIKE, “I’M NOT LEADING WORSHIP

ON NO EASTER!”
LIKE, IT FELT WRONG.

AND SO–BUT GOD LITERALLY SAID,
“JUST SIT DOWN, GIRL.”

HE TOLD ME JUST TO SIT
DOWN AND HE JUST SAID,

“YOU MAY NEVER GET ONE
OF THESE AGAIN,”

YOU KNOW, WHERE I’M NOT DOING.

AND SO THAT–THIS YEAR HAS
BEEN ONE OF THOSE YEARS

WHERE HE’S JUST CAUSED
ME TO BE STILL AND BE A MARY,

YOU KNOW, INSTEAD OF A MARTHA.

HOLLY: AND YOU KNOW,
IT’S NOT AN EASY-SHIFT SOMETIME.

JAI: IT’S NOT.

IT’S UNCOMFORTABLE.

I WAS LIKE, “WHAT DO I DO?”
LIKE, HOW DO I JUST

BE A CHRISTIAN WITHOUT
DOING WORK?

GINGER: AND SO,
LET’S HAVE A PLAN, RIGHT?

LET’S HAVE A STRATEGY.

SO, WRITE DOWN ONE THING
THAT YOU ALL THINK ABOUT THAT

YOU CAN STOP DOING TO GIVE
YOURSELF MORE TIME FOR YOURSELF,

AND FOR YOUR TIME WITH GOD.

IS THERE ONE THING THAT YOU
CAN THINK OF, I’LL GIVE YOU MINE

AS AN EXAMPLE.

ERIN: YEAH, I’D LIKE
TO COPY THAT.

GINGER: HERE’S AN EXAMPLE,
LESS NETFLIX MARATHONS.

UH-HUH, YEAH, SO YOU KNOW,
THAT MEANS WATCHING A LOT

OF STUFF ON TV THAT, YOU KNOW?

IT’S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS
THAT I CAN EASILY CUT OUT,

AND SPEND MORE–
WHEN I SAY PRODUCTIVE,

I DON’T MEAN ACTIVE,
I MEAN TIME THAT MATTERS,

TIME THAT IS FOR
ME WITH THE LORD,

NOT BINGE-WATCHING NETFLIX.

SO, THAT’S AN EXAMPLE FOR ME.

ANYBODY HAVE ANYTHING YOU’RE
WRITING DOWN ON YOUR BOARDS?

I SEE SOME OF OUR
AUDIENCE WRITING.

I SEE SOME OF OUR PANEL IS NOT.

THAT’S ALRIGHT.

HOLLY: DID YOU WRITE
NAPS ON THERE?

YOU’RE GOING TO GIVE UP NAPS?

LADIES: NAPS!?!

ERIN: OH, THAT’S A GOOD ONE.

HOLLY: THAT’S A GOOD ONE.

WHAT ARE YOU GIVING THAT
ONE UP FOR?

GINGER: MAYBE SHE HAS
LOTS OF NAPS.

HOLLY: YOU HAVE TOO
MANY NAPS?

GINGER: TOO MANY NAPS,
ALRIGHT.

ANYBODY ELSE?

WHAT DO WE HAVE?

SCROLLING SOCIAL MEDIA, UH-HUH,
THAT IS A GOOD ANSWER.

THAT IS A GOOD ONE.

ANSWERING MY PHONE SO MUCH.

THAT’S GREAT.

WE DON’T HAVE TO ANSWER
THE PHONE EVERY TIME IT RINGS.

JOYCE: I TAKE THE PHONE
INTO THE BATHROOM WITH ME.

IT’S JUST RIDICULOUS.

HOLLY: THAT’S A GOOD ONE.

GINGER: OVERTHINKING.

OH, JAI.

THAT’S A REALLY GOOD ONE.

HOLLY: THAT’S A VERY
GOOD ONE.

GINGER: YOU WANNA TALK
ABOUT THAT?

JAI: YEAH, I JUST SPENT A LOT
OF TIME THINKING ABOUT

WHAT I COULD BE DOING,
WHEN I COULD EITHER BE RESTING,

OR DOING THE THING I’M THINKING
ABOUT [LAUGHING].

“MAYBE I SHOULD DO THIS
OR DO THAT, AND MAYBE

IT’LL TURN OUT LIKE THIS.”
AND I ALWAYS TEND TO LIKE

ALMOST FORESHADOW,
WHAT I THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN.

IT’S A LOT OF WASTED TIME.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
I CAN EVEN OVER-THINK

THE OUTCOME.

THAT’S–THEN IT BECOMES WORRY
AT TIMES AND SO I NEED TO–

JOYCE: WELL, PEOPLE WHO HAVE
NEVER STEPPED OUT

INTO THIS AREA,
WHICH THERE’S A LOT OF PEOPLE

WATCHING THAT NEED
THIS DESPERATELY,

BUT WE’RE NOT GONNA HAVE ENOUGH
TIME TO TALK HERE, TONIGHT,

TO GIVE THEM ALL THE ANSWERS
THEY NEED.

HOLLY: THEY CAN GET
YOUR BOOK.

JOYCE: YEAH, WELL,
GOD WILL SHOW YOU WHAT

YOU NEED TO DO,
IF YOU’LL LISTEN TO HIM.

AND IT’S GONNA BE A LITTLE BIT
DIFFERENT FOR EVERY PERSON.

LIKE YOU SAID, YOU WENT
TO THE GROCERY STORE AND YOU

DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT
TO BUY FOR YOURSELF BECAUSE

YOU WERE SO USED TO BUYING
FOR EVERYBODY ELSE.

WELL, WHEN I FIRST STARTED
TRYING TO GET MY LIFE

STRAIGHTENED OUT,
PROBABLY 15 YEARS AGO,

SOMEBODY SAID,
“WE’LL DO SOME THINGS

THAT YOU LIKE.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?”
ERIN: “I HAVE NO IDEA.”

JAI: “WHAT DO I LIKE TO DO?”
JOYCE: I COULDN’T THINK

OF ANYTHING THAT I LIKED
TO DO BECAUSE I HADN’T DONE

ANYTHING EXCEPT WORK,
WRITE BOOKS,

AND DO CONFERENCES, YOU KNOW,
THE CALL ON MY LIFE

AND HELPING OTHER PEOPLE.

AND GOD JUST WANTS
US TO HAVE BALANCE.

I MEAN, I’M CALLED
TO DO WHAT I’M DOING.

AND I’M GLAD I’VE WRITTEN
EVERY BOOK I’VE WRITTEN,

AND I’M GLAD I’VE DONE EVERY
CONFERENCE I’VE DONE,

BUT IN THE MIDST OF THAT,
THERE WERE THINGS THAT

I COULD HAVE SAID, “NO,” TO,
THAT WERE NOT THINGS

I WAS CALLED TO DO.

THEY WERE THINGS THAT
I FELT LIKE I SHOULD DO.

EVEN LIKE, DOING PEOPLE FAVORS,
NOW, YOU KNOW, WE ALL WANNA

DO PEOPLE FAVORS,
AND WE SHOULD DO PEOPLE FAVORS.

BUT I FINALLY THOUGHT, YOU KNOW,
“I’M SPENDING ALL MY TIME DOING

FAVORS FOR ALL THESE OTHER
PEOPLE AND THEN I STILL HAVE

TO DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO.”
HOLLY: FOR YOU.

JOYCE: ‘CUZ THIS
IS MY RESPONSIBILITY.

AND SO, WHAT I DO NOW, IS I SAY,
“NO,” TO A LOT MORE OF THOSE

THINGS BECAUSE THAT’S
NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY

GOD’S GIVEN ME.

HE’S GIVEN
ME THIS RESPONSIBILITY.

AND I DO THINGS FOR PEOPLE,
BUT I CAN’T JUST DO THINGS

FOR PEOPLE AND STILL
HAVE TIME TO DO THIS.

HOLLY: IT’S JUST LIKE,
SOMETIMES, JUST THE WEIGHT

AND THE PRESSURE THAT’S–
WE’RE ALL DEALING IN THE WORLD,

RIGHT NOW.

SO, FOR ME, IT’S LIKE,
OVERTHINKING.

YOU READ SOMETHING,
“DO I NEED TO RESPOND?

DO I NEED TO RESPOND, RIGHT NOW?

HOW DO I RESPOND RIGHT NOW?

WHAT IF I DON’T?

WHAT IF I–”
AND SO, THAT JUST STEALS

MY JOY.

I GET–JUST TAKES ANXIETY
FOR ME.

AND I’M LIKE, “OKAY, STOP IT,
HOLLY.

STOP IT.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO CARRY–
WE WERE TALKING

ABOUT THIS EARLIER,
THE WEIGHT OF THIS

ON YOUR SHOULDERS.

YOU KNOW, JUST LOVE PEOPLE.

LOVE THE ONES IN FRONT OF YOU.

“HOW YOU DOING?

I LOVE YOU.”
JAI: I LOVE YOU, TOO.

HOLLY: RIGHT?

IT’S JUST LIKE,
LOVE THESE PEOPLE.

DON’T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE
TO ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING.

AND I JUST THINK, EVEN TAKING
THAT PRESSURE OFF.

GINGER: THAT’S SO GOOD.

I THINK A LOT ABOUT FALSE
RESPONSIBILITY.

HOLLY: YEAH, THAT’S THE WORD
FOR IT.

THAT’S A GOOD WORD FOR IT.

GINGER: I KNOW THAT’S A BIG
THING THAT I CARRY IS A LOT

OF FALSE RESPONSIBILITY.

JOYCE: OH, I HAD A BIG
PROBLEM WITH A FALSE

SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY.

HOLLY: OH, THAT’S GOOD.

THAT’S A REALLY GOOD WAY TO PUT.

JOYCE: AND HERE AGAIN,
IT GOT STARTED IN MY CHILDHOOD

BECAUSE I FELT LIKE THAT
MY MOTHER WASN’T TAKING

CARE OF ME,
BUT SOMEHOW ANOTHER,

I FELT LIKE I HAD TO MAKE SURE
THAT SHE DIDN’T FIND OUT,

YOU KNOW, WHAT MY DAD
WAS DOING TO ME,

BECAUSE HE HAD ALWAYS SAID,
“YOU BETTER NOT TELL ANYBODY.”

AND SO, I TOOK
THE RESPONSIBILITY OF KEEPING

HER FIXED AND I JUST
CARRIED IT INTO MY ADULT

LIFE JUST BE–
I MEAN, YOU WANT–

GINGER: THAT’S A TERRIBLE
BURDEN.

JOYCE: “YOU WANT SOMEBODY
TO BE RESPONSIBLE,

JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED,
I’LL GET ON IT.”

JAI: I’M A FIRM BELIEVER OF,
LIKE, WITH SOCIAL MEDIA

AND THINGS LIKE THAT,
BECAUSE, I MEAN,

THAT’S THE WORLD WE LIVE IN,
AND I’LL BE 40 THIS YEAR,

SO I’M NOT–I DON’T FEEL
LIKE I’M THAT OLD.

ERIN: NO.

JAI: THANK YOU.

AND LOOK AT JOYCE, SHE’S LIKE,
“NO, YOU’RE NOT.”

THANK YOU.

JOYCE: TO BE 40 AGAIN.

JAI: OH, “THE GOOD OL’ DAYS.”
HOLLY: IT WAS A GOOD YEAR.

JAI: IT WAS A GOOD YEAR?

THANKS, I CAN’T WAIT.

SO, I DO KNOW THAT SOCIAL
MEDIA DOES GIVE A LOT

OF VALID INFORMATION,
YOU KNOW,

AND SO, I DO YOU VALUE IT.

BUT I HAVE PUT PARAMETERS
AND BOUNDARIES AROUND,

YOU KNOW, CERTAIN DAYS
I DON’T LOOK, YOU KNOW?

SO, I JUST THINK, YOU KNOW,
IF IT’S NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA,

THEN OF COURSE, DON’T SIP IT.

BUT IF IT IS SOMETHING WHERE
YOU GET YOUR INFORMATION,

OF COURSE, JUST PUT BOUNDARIES,
LIKE WE DO WITH EVERYTHING,

BECAUSE I DO GET A LOT
OF INFORMATION AND IT HELPS

ME TO EVEN KEEP IN CONTACT
WITH MY DAUGHTER AND KNOW

WHAT SHE’S LOOKING
AT AND INGESTING.

SO, I MEAN, OF COURSE,
THERE’S BOUNDARIES AND THINGS

THAT ARE HAPPENING,
AND KNOWING WHAT’S HAPPENING.

AND AS BELIEVERS,
TO KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING

IN OUR WORLD REAL-TIME.

WE DO HAVE THE ADVANTAGE
OF HEARING THE TESTIMONIES

OF OTHER PEOPLE–HOW MANY
PEOPLE ARE DEALING WITH

ANXIETY AND NEED HELP
AND HAVE SOCIAL ISSUES.

AND THINGS LIKE–
IT’S A BUNCH OF THINGS THAT

ARE GOING ON THAT WE,
AS BELIEVERS, CAN SPEAK INTO.

OF COURSE, I’M NOT SAYING,
TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING

BECAUSE IT’S NOT OUR PLACE
WITH THAT–YOU KNOW,

WITH THE SENSE
OF RESPONSIBILITY.

BUT I DO THINK, AS BELIEVERS,
WE CAN TAKE AN ACTIVE

ROLE IN CERTAIN THINGS.

AND SOCIAL MEDIA DOES HELP THAT,
AND KEEP BOUNDARIES IN THERE,

OF COURSE.

DON’T OVERWHELM YOURSELF.

JOYCE: BOUNDARIES IS A BIG
WORD TO ALL THIS.

YOU KNOW, WE ALL NEED
TO HAVE BOUNDARIES IN OUR LIFE.

YOU KNOW, YOU NEED TO HAVE
SAFE FRIENDS.

YOU NEED TO HAVE A SAFE
PLACE FOR YOURSELF.

AND IT’S NOT WRONG
TO PROTECT YOURSELF,

AND IT’S NOT WRONG
TO TAKE A NAP,

THAT’S NOT WRONG TO REST.

GINGER: UNLESS YOU’RE
TAKING TOO MANY NAPS.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

ERIN: THAT’S WRONG.

JOYCE: SOME DAYS I TAKE
TOO MANY NAPS.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: GOD DIDN’T CALL
US TO KILL OURSELVES.

HE WANTS YOU TO TAKE
TIME TO ENJOY LIFE.

HE SAID WORK SIX DAYS, REST ONE.

AND SO, OBVIOUSLY,
IT SEEMS LIKE WE’RE

SUPPOSED TO WORK A LITTLE
BIT MORE THAN WE REST,

BUT IF YOU DON’T GET
THE REST THEN, YOU KNOW,

HOW MANY SABBATHS DO YOU
OWE YOUR BODY?

ERIN: I WROTE DOWN–
I DIDN’T SPELL IT CORRECTLY,

‘CUZ I’M NOT EXACTLY SURE HOW
TO SPELL IT: MARTYR MENTALITY.

BUT I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU,
JOYCE, WHEN YOU TELL STORIES

OF WHEN YOUR KIDS WERE YOUNG,
AND I THINK, IT’S USUALLY WHEN

YOU WERE CLEANING
THE BATHROOM AND ALL

OF THE KIDS AND DAVE WOULD
BE HAVING FUN, AND LAUGHING,

AND YOU’RE SAYING,
“I’M DOING ALL THE WORK,

WHY IS NOBODY HELPING ME?”
AND I DO THAT ALL THE TIME.

SO, WERE I TO CUT THAT OUT
AND NOT WORRY ABOUT

ALL THE THINGS THAT I’M DOING
AND NOBODY’S HELPING ME WITH,

MAYBE INSTEAD, I SHOULD JUST ASK
FOR HELP AND THEN GO OUT THERE

AND LAUGH WITH THEM.

HOLLY: OR GO,
“HERE’S A BROOM.”

ERIN: YEAH, EXACTLY.

GINGER: “HERE PEYTON,
HERE’S A SPONGE, RUB HERE.”

JUST AS LONG AS SHE’S WEARING
A CUTE LITTLE OUTFIT,

SHE’LL BE HAPPY.

ERIN: HAPPY AS CAN BE.

JAI: SHE’LL DEFINITELY
BE WEARING SOME TYPE

OF COSTUME, I’M SURE OF IT.

ERIN: WE HOPE SOMETHING,
MHMM…

GINGER: I THINK THAT BEING
A LEADER, RIGHT,

THERE’S SO MANY DIFFERENT
THINGS THAT PEOPLE ARE

DEPENDING ON YOU FOR.

AND THAT’S WHERE I GET
A LOT OF THAT–I HAVE A LOT

OF THINGS TO DO,
A BIT OF A FALSE SENSE

OF RESPONSIBILITY.

“THAT IF I DON’T DO IT,
WHO WILL?”

I’VE GOTTEN WONDERFUL PEOPLE
WHO CAN DO SO MANY

THINGS BETTER THAN I CAN.

SO, YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO REALLY
BALANCE THAT AND THINK ABOUT IT.

BUT THEN, THERE’S ALSO THAT
I’M SETTING THE EXAMPLE, RIGHT?

IF I DON’T WORK REALLY,
REALLY HARD.

AND IF EVERYBODY DOESN’T KNOW
HOW HARD I’M WORKING THEN

WHAT KIND OF LEADER AM I?

AND SO I’VE REALLY–
I’VE LEARNED A LOT.

I’VE REALLY HAD TO LEARN
THAT YOU SET A GOOD EXAMPLE

AS A LEADER BY CARING
FOR YOURSELF,

AND NOT WORKING SO MANY HOURS,
BECAUSE THEN YOU’RE NOT

EXPECTING OTHER PEOPLE
TO DO WHAT GOD DOESN’T WANT,

ANY OF US TO DO.

SO, THAT’S BEEN ONE OF THOSE
REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS

FOR ME TO LEARN.

JOYCE: WELL, YOU KNOW,
FOR ME WHEN I GOT SO SICK,

THREE AND A HALF YEARS AGO,
OR WHENEVER IT WAS,

I HAD TO MAKE CHANGES.

AND PART OF IT WAS,
I HAD TO START LETTING

OTHER PEOPLE DO THINGS.

AND EVEN, MY STAFF HAD
TO BE WILLING TO MAKE

A CHANGE AND STOP SAYING,
“WELL, BUT IT’S BETTER

IF JOYCE DOES IT.”
YOU KNOW, “IT’S BETTER IF JOYCE

ADVERTISES THAT BOOK.”
“IT’S BETTER IF JOYCE

DOES THIS.”
AND I’VE HAD TO LET OTHER

PEOPLE DO THINGS.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT WE FOUND OUT?

GOD CAN PUT HIS ANOINTING
WHEREVER HE WANTS TO,

AND IT’S JUST AS GOOD,
IF NOT BETTER,

WHEN SOMEBODY ELSE DOES IT.

HOLLY: ISN’T THAT THE WAY,
THOUGH.

MAYBE, IT’S OUR OWN ARROGANCE,
OR WE THINK, “NO, NO,

IT HAS TO BE ME.”
RIGHT?

GINGER: YEAH, I KNOW FOR ME
IT’S ABOUT PRIDE.

I DON’T REALIZE IT AT THE TIME,
BUT, YEAH.

HOLLY: YEAH, IT’S LIKE OUR
OWN ARROGANCE THAT–

‘CUZ I’M SITTING HERE LISTENING
TO YOU SAY THAT, I’M, LIKE,

“I’M SO GUILTY OF THAT,
RIGHT THERE.

I’M GETTING BUSTED.”

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: BUT YOU CAN’T MAKE
CHANGES IF YOU’RE NOT WILLING

TO LET GO OF SOME THINGS
AND LET SOMEBODY ELSE DO THEM.

GINGER: SO, MORE ON THIS
TOPIC OF FEELING VALUABLE

ENOUGH TO CARE FOR YOURSELF.

‘CUZ I THINK THAT’S
SO IMPORTANT, TO LOVE YOURSELF

ENOUGH TO GIVE YOURSELF
A BREAK AND LET GOD HELP YOU

IN THE WAYS THAT HE SO WANTS TO,
WHEN WE’RE RUNNING SO HARD,

SO FAST THAT WE CAN’T POSSIBLY
HEAR HIS VOICE WHEN HE SAYS,

“SLOW DOWN,”
OR, “I HAVE SOMETHING

AMAZING FOR YOU.”
SO, JOYCE, WHAT ARE SOME

OF THOSE AREAS,
OR ANYBODY ELSE,

WHAT ARE SOME OF THOSE AREAS
THAT YOU’VE REALLY LEARNED

THAT YOU NEED TO START
BALANCING OUT THAT CARING

FOR YOURSELF WITH THAT DRIVE
AND DESIRE TO EARN IT?

JOYCE: WELL, I MEAN,
I WAS OUT OF BALANCE IN JUST

ABOUT ANY AREA THAT YOU
COULD PICK.

SO, IT’S TAKEN ME AWHILE.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS DIAGNOSED
WITH SEVERE, ADRENAL FATIGUE,

AND BASICALLY, I’D JUST WORN
MYSELF OUT, I MEAN,

THAT’S JUST WHAT THAT IS.

AND MY DOCTOR LOOKED
AT ME AND SAID,

“I WANT YOU TO REST
FOR 18 MONTHS.”

HOLLY: I WISH I HAD A PICTURE
OF YOUR FACE WHEN HE SAID THAT.

JOYCE: THE FIRST THING
I SAID WAS, “WHAT DO YOU DO?”

THAT WAS MY–SEE, DO?

“WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU REST
FOR 18 MONTHS?”

I MEAN, I COULDN’T EVEN GET
THE CONCEPT TO GO INTO MY BRAIN.

IT WAS LIKE, “YOU WANT
ME TO REST FOR 18 MONTHS?”

YOU KNOW, IT WAS LIKE,
I COULDN’T EVEN FATHOM IT.

AND I HAD TO REALLY LEARN THAT
I JUST DIDN’T HAVE TO BE DOING

SOMETHING ALL THE TIME.

GINGER: AND IT DIDN’T
HAPPEN OVERNIGHT, RIGHT?

IT WAS BIT OF AN ADJUSTMENT.

JOYCE: NO, IF YOUR WAY, WAY,
WAY OUT OF BALANCE IN THIS AREA,

AND THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE,
KNOW WHO YOU ARE…

ERIN: OKAY, OKAY.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

ERIN: I KNOW!

JOYCE: SEE, THE PEOPLE–
LIKE, YOU’RE A HARD WORKER.

SO, IT’S EASY FOR EVERYBODY
TO COME TO YOU ‘CUZ

ERIN’LL DO IT.

ERIN: SURE.

“ERIN LIKES TO DO IT.”
JOYCE: YEAH,

AND ERIN LIKES TO DO IT.

YOU KNOW, THE HARD WORKERS–
AND THERE ARE HARD WORKERS,

AND THANK GOD THERE ARE.

YOU KNOW, WE WOULDN’T
BE WHERE WE’RE AT TODAY,

IF I WASN’T A HARD WORKER.

GINGER: YEAH, I’M KINDA
WISHING YOU WOULDN’T

TELL ERIN THAT STUFF,
‘CUZ SHE’S DOING ALL THE STUFF

THAT I DON’T WANNA DO.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: YOU REALLY DO GET
TO THE POINT WHERE YOU JUST

HAVE TO BE ABLE TO SAY,
“I JUST CAN’T DO IT ALL.”

GINGER: YEAH, AND IT’S A HARD
PLACE TO GET TO.

JOYCE: AND THEN YOU
EVEN HAVE TO SAY,

“AND I’M NOT GOING
TO DO IT ALL.”

BECAUSE EVEN AFTER YOU
GET TO THE POINT WHERE

YOU SAY YOU CAN’T,
PEOPLE WILL STILL KEEP

TRYING TO GET YOU TO.

HOLLY: I GUESS, IT’S LIKE,
EVEN THE–

WHAT YOU JUST SAID.

SO, LIKE, FOR ME, A COUPLE
YEARS AGO WHEN I WENT

BACK TO GRAD SCHOOL.

SO, I’M GOING,
“OKAY, I’M GONNA TAKE ON GRAD

SCHOOL, RIGHT,
AND WRITE THE PAPERS,

AND READ THE BOOKS,”
WHICH WHEN I STACKED THEM UP,

THEY CAME UP TO HERE.

BUT SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE THEN.

RIGHT, BECAUSE IF I JUST ADDED
THAT TO THE MIX,

I WOULD HAVE BEEN A BASKET–
SO, I HAD TO TAKE SOMETHING OFF,

TO THEN–
I KNEW THIS IS WHAT

I NEEDED TO DO.

SO, I JUST THINK,
WHEREAS BEFORE THAT HADN’T

BEEN MY HABIT PATTERN.

I’D GO, “JUST PUT IT ON,
PUT IT ON.

JUST GIVE ME THE NEXT THING,”
RIGHT, TILL I JUST COLLAPSED.

SO, I THINK,
THAT’S THE KEY, TOO.

IS IF YOU’RE GONNA TAKE
ON SOMETHING NEW,

AND WE ALL TAKE ON NEW THINGS.

GINGER: WE HAVE TO.

HOLLY: RIGHT,
SO EVEN LIKE NOW,

YOU’RE DOING A LOT OF THIS,
THE VIRTUAL STUFF,

AND THAT’S A NEW THING, RIGHT?

AND IT TAKES DIFFERENT
DIMENSIONS AND TIME.

SO, SOMETHING HAS TO SHIFT
OTHER PLACES.

JOYCE: AND IT’S HARDER
TO TEACH TO A BUNCH OF CAMERAS

THAN IT IS TO TEACH PEOPLE.

HOLLY: A HUNDRED PERCENT.

THEIR AMENS ARE PATHETIC,
THOSE CAMERAS.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

HOLLY: THEY’RE SO QUIET.

JAI: AND TO THAT POINT
OF TAKING SOMETHING AWAY,

I’VE SHARED ON THE TALK
IT OUT SHOW,

LIKE, AND WE’VE TALKED ABOUT
IT A BUNCH ABOUT THE SEASON

THAT I HAVE BEEN IN, OF NOW,
BEING LIKE–GOING THROUGH

A DIVORCE AND SINGLE NOW.

AND I KNOW WHEN I WAS GOING
THROUGH THAT AND THE THING THAT

I TALK ABOUT EVEN THE IDENTITY
OF WORKING IN MINISTRY

AND DOING THAT, I LITERALLY,
HAD TO SIT THAT DOWN.

AND THAT WAS HARD FOR
ME BECAUSE I FOUND MY IDENTITY

IN MY FAMILY AND IN MINISTRY.

AND TO HAVE THE FAMILY PIECE
JUST STRIPPED AWAY,

THAT’S ONE THING.

BUT THEN, TO SAY, IN ORDER FOR
ME TO WORK ON ME AND TO FOCUS

ON MY DAUGHTER,
I NEED TO SET THIS

MINISTRY ASIDE,
FOR THE HEALTH OF–

TAKE CARE OF ME AND TAKE
CARE OF MY FIRST PRIORITY,

WHICH IS MY DAUGHTER.

HOLLY: AND IT’S HARD
SOMETIMES, TO DO THAT,

TO LAY THE THING DOWN.

JAI: IT’S HARD TO LAY
THE THING DOWN.

YOU KNOW, JUST TO SAY,
“YOU KNOW, I GOTTA TAKE

CARE OF MYSELF.”
GINGER: “WHO AM

I WITHOUT THAT?”
JAI: AND THAT’S WHAT’S

BEEN LIKE–
SOMETIMES, I SIT AND LIKE…

TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK,
LIKE WHAT–WHO AM I?

JOYCE: SOMETIMES,
YOU GOTTA LAY IT BACK

DOWN THOUGH,
BEFORE YOU CAN PICK IT BACK UP.

JAI: AMEN.

JOYCE: IT’S LIKE ABRAHAM
PUT ISAAC ON THE ALTAR

BUT HE GOT HIM BACK.

AND SOMETIMES,
IT’S NOT A FOREVER THING.

IT’S JUST A–
JAI: YEAH,

I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT’S
FOREVER AT ALL.

I JUST KNEW THAT, THIS SEASON–
YOU TALKED ABOUT THE SEASONS,

I KNEW IN THIS SEASON,
AND IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE,

TO DIDN’T MAKE
SENSE FINANCIALLY,

IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE AT ALL,
YOU KNOW, TO SET IT DOWN.

IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE
BECAUSE I LOVE THE PEOPLE,

I WAS MINISTERING TO.

HOLLY: IT’S A MARATHON
WE’RE RUNNING.

IT’S NOT A SPRINT, RIGHT?

AND SO, SOMETIMES,
THAT’S–LIKE FOR ME,

YOU HAVE TO LAY SOMETHING DOWN,
TO PICK SOMETHING ELSE

UP AND SOMETHING WILL COME BACK.

IT’S BECAUSE WE’RE IN THIS
FOR THE LONG HAUL.

ERIN: THAT’S SO HARD
TO REMEMBER, THOUGH.

YES, IT IS!

ERIN: ALL I KNOW
IS THAT SPRINTING.

HOLLY: RIGHT, IT FEELS
LIKE A SPRINT.

SO, IT’S THE LONG WAY.

JOYCE: YOU KNOW,
YOU CAN’T FEEL LIKE YOU

HAVE TO DO WHAT EVERYBODY
ELSE IS DOING.

LIKE, YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT
GOING BACK TO GRAD SCHOOL,

AND I REMEMBER GOING THROUGH
A SEASON WHERE IT SEEMED LIKE

EVERYBODY THAT I KNEW WAS GOING
BACK TO SCHOOL TO GET A DEGREE.

AND I WAS
LIKE, “YUCK.”

[LADIES LAUGHING]

ERIN: NO, THANK YOU.

JOYCE: I JUST, I MEAN,
THAT WAS JUST LIKE–

BUT THERE WOULD
HAVE BEEN A TIME,

WHEN I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT,
“WELL, I SHOULD DO THAT.

I NEED TO DO THAT.”
AND, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WATCHING

THIS TONIGHT,
IF YOU’RE SAYING, “YOU KNOW,

I GOT A PROBLEM.”
THIS LITTLE 40-MINUTE,

TALK IT OUT SHOW IS NOT
GOING TO SOLVE IT.

YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO DIG IN
TO YOUR LIFE AND REALLY GET

TO KNOW SOME DEEPER THINGS
ABOUT YOURSELF THAT YOU

MAY NOT WANNA FACE AND
YOU MAY NOT WANT TO KNOW, LIKE,

WHY DO YOU FEEL GUILTY.

YOU KNOW, I HAD TO–
THIS TOOK ME A LONG TIME.

AND I MEAN, AND I CAN TELL
YOU NOW THAT I’M BALANCED,

I’M HEALTHY, I’M RESTED.

I’M DOING WHAT I BELIEVE
GOD’S CALLED ME TO DO,

BUT I’M NOT DOING A BUNCH
OF STUFF THAT I DON’T BELIEVE

THAT HE’S CALLED ME TO DO.

AND–
GINGER: SO, THERE’S HOPE.

JOYCE: YEAH, SO THERE’S HOPE.

BUT I JUST WANT PEOPLE
TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN

THEY TURN THIS OFF TONIGHT,
IT’S NOT GONNA BE, WELL,

BEEN THERE DONE,
THAT BOUGHT THE T-SHIRT,

YOU KNOW, GOT IT.

EVEN, YOU CAN BUY MY BOOK,
AND I HOPE YOU DO.

BUT IF YOU JUST READ
IT AND DON’T APPLY

THE PRINCIPLES THERE’S NO POINT,
EVEN GETTING IT.

AND IT’S GONNA REQUIRE CHANGE.

GINGER: THAT’S A GREAT PLACE
TO WRAP THINGS UP BECAUSE

PEOPLE ARE DEALING WITH
STRESSORS AND A LOT OF THINGS.

JOYCE: AND WE UNDERSTAND
THAT.

GINGER: YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

SO, WE ENCOURAGE YOU,
INSTEAD OF FEELING GUILTY,

INSTEAD OF LETTING ALL OF THAT
WAY ON YOU IS TO CHOOSE

THE ONE THING,
WHAT’S THE ONE THING THAT

YOU CAN BEGIN DOING THAT
GOD’S LAYING ON YOUR

HEART RIGHT NOW,
I REALLY FEEL LIKE THERE’S

SOMETHING THAT GOD’S
PRESSING ON YOUR HEART

THAT MAYBE THIS IS AN AREA,
OR MAYBE IT’S JUST A COUPLE

MINUTES, EVERY MORNING,
WHEN I WAKE UP,

TO START WITH PRAYING,
TO START WITH WELCOMING GOD.

YOU KNOW, WHATEVER IT IS,
JUST BEGIN THERE.

AND IF YOU HAVE TO,
HERE’S A GREAT PLACE TO BEGIN,

BEGIN BY REALIZING THAT YOU ARE
VALUABLE ENOUGH TO DO THESE

THINGS BECAUSE GOD CHOSE YOU.

GINGER: I HOPE YOU HAD
AS MUCH FUN AS I DID,

AND THAT YOU WROTE DOWN
A FEW THINGS THAT YOU’RE GOING

TO START PUTTING INTO ACTION.

AND MOST OF ALL,
THAT YOU REMEMBER, HOW VERY,

VERY MUCH YOU MATTER.

WE HAVE SOME GREAT THINGS
THAT WILL HELP YOU,

A FREE RESOURCE,
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE IT.

YOU CAN GO TO
JOYCEMEYER.ORG/TALKITOUT

AND GET A FREE AUDIO DOWNLOAD
OF JOYCE TEACHING ON HOW

TO CARE FOR YOURSELF.

SO, IT’S GREAT STUFF, IT’S FREE.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?

CHECK IT OUT.

ALSO, WHILE YOU’RE THERE
AT JOYCEMEYER.ORG/TALKITOUT,

YOU CAN LISTEN
TO ALL OF OUR EPISODES,

IF YOU HAVEN’T HEARD THEM.

YOU CAN FIND OUT MORE
ABOUT MY FRIENDS,

AND YOU CAN JOIN OUR
FRIENDS LIST BECAUSE

YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO US.

AND IF YOU JOIN
THAT FRIENDS LIST,

YOU’LL HEAR ABOUT
UPCOMING EPISODES, SOME SPECIAL,

BEHIND-THE-SCENES STUFF,
AND WE WOULD LOVE MORE

THAN ANYTHING TO COUNT
YOU AS ONE OF OUR FRIENDS.

THANKS FOR BEING WITH US.

IT’S BEEN SO MUCH FUN.

WE’LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME.

[MUSIC]