Joyce Meyer, one of the world’s leading practical Bible teachers and New York Times best-selling author, shares encouragement and advice to help us enjoy our daily lives. With a heart to share Christ and love people, Joyce’s messages help people in all walks of life to grow in their faith, learn to study the Bible, find healing from the wounds of life, get answers to life’s questions and encounter the love of God in a powerful way.
as for our live webcast on making good
habits and breaking bad habits this is
your opportunity for joys to answer your
questions on habits and right now you
can go ahead and begin submitting those
questions Joyce this is a topic that a
lot of people need help with that
because we all have bad habits in our
lives we all want to build good habits
but I love the way you’re coming at it
because you’re not saying focus on that
bad habit you’re saying focus on the
good now this was really I thought a
fresh approach and people are very
interested in habits I’ve done a
teaching series on habits and it was
always very popular but I do think that
just human nature tends to focus on the
problem rate and getting rid of the
problem so you can do the right thing
but scripture really teaches us that
there’s only one thing that overcomes
evil and that’s good and that if we walk
in the spirit we won’t fulfill the lust
of the flesh that you know only dark
darkness can only be swallowed up by
light death can only be gotten rid of by
life so I don’t know why it’s taken us
so long to apply that biblical principle
to any area in our life that we want to
see change instead of focusing on what I
should not do
right I should focus on what I should do
and can do through God’s grace and then
when we’re full of good things there’s
no room for the bad thing through action
yeah and so I think it’s really an
exciting approach to think about
developing all these good habits instead
of home and I’ve got 25 bad habits I
need to break yeah well and I think that
a lot of people will have some very
specific questions and in a lot of good
questions on how to actually apply this
into our life but before we get started
we’re going to take a look at what a few
people have to say about habits and then
Joyce will begin taking your questions
College for many the place where habits
are revealed most difficult habit I have
is procrastination habits are duplicated
habits my worst habit is probably
procrastination procrastination I’ll
always wait till the last minute to do
stuff habits are redefined
procrastination is actually pretty good
habit that I’ve gotten into doing
homework last minute I get a lot more
done and I feel like it’s a better
quality even students say bad habits can
be unhealthy I like to sleep a lot and I
smoke cigar frustrating biting my nails
I’m really bad with that and unique I
use the word absolutely many times
they’re going to ask me a question I
will stab salutely or something I’m
doing absolutely so I can break that I
try everyone agrees breaking bad habits
and establishing good ones can be
difficult but worth the effort yes
absolutely there we go
did you hear me I feel like if I got up
earlier I could be more productive with
my day good habits make you a productive
person these students at the beginning
of their adult lives understand the
habits they make and break today will
have a lasting effect let’s have a say a
lot about you the habits that you
develop over time they
to do the things you usually go through
and things that are like how you see
yourself so good and bad habits kind of
develop the person so habits are here to
stay but we have a choice between the
good I want to be on time the bad uh
texting and driving and the um unique
I’m always smiling I always try to smile
oh so I do everything with fashion
smiling with passion smiling with
passion that’s an interesting it’s
always smiling oh yeah that’s a good one
there there are some good ones and some
bad ones in there both but we have some
questions and and I’ve got a couple to
start off with that I think you’re
really going to enjoy because these
questions are really good questions a
lot of people will appreciate them but
they’re coming from a couple people
special to you some twin granddaughters
Oh angel and stuff so these are good
questions I told me that we’re going to
watch today as well here’s the question
how can I stop eating sugar now how many
people would love to hear the answer to
this question well I could just say
don’t put it in your mouth but I try to
do I’ll try to do a little better than
that you know one of the Bible says not
to make any provision for your flesh and
to put a stop to thinking about it and
so you know if I start thinking about
dessert very long I’m sure to end up
with it so if you really don’t want to
do something you have to put a stop to
thinking about it right away another
really good thing to keep in mind is if
you don’t want to eat something don’t
keep it in your house you know it’s like
if to keep a cake mix there you’re bound
to bake a cake it’s hard to get cooking
yep so but if you’re going to have to go
get up in a vehicle go to a store and
get it you’re more likely than to find
something else to eat so that energy
roadblock yeah that is a good question
and I’m sure that a lot of people have
that and you know one of the things that
I want to say up front here is that you
can never change a habit if you don’t
believe you can so the first thing you
have to do is believe this can change in
my life with God’s help this
can change and I even recommend saying
it out loud because most people say I
can’t avoid sugar I can’t resist sugar
right you know I have no discipline so
what we say is also important yeah okay
here is the second granddaughters
question how can I stop whining I want
that question she’s so sweet she can’t
possibly be a whiner
you know whining can become a habit yeah
and it develops from focusing on the
negative from focusing on what we don’t
have instead of focusing on what we do
have and I think it’s a very good
exercise as children are adults and it
would be great to teach a child to do
this every every morning to actually
either make a list on paper or a verbal
list of these are ten things that I can
think of right now that are blessings in
my life and I’m grateful for them yeah a
lot of times the way that we get the day
started is the way it goes and so I just
encourage her to be really thankful she
can be thankful she’s got such a great
grandmother that’s the first thing to be
thankful hi girls I know you’re watching
have a good day those are good questions
a lot of people you know are dealing
with those habits once you start to get
the in that habit of seeing the negative
things and kind of complaining about
them it’s a habit for a lot really the
the thesis of this whole thing yeah is
we’re going to focus on the good right
right that’s bad well this is an
interesting question that goes along
with that and this is Cassandra and
she’s asking what happens if one bad
habit links to more bad habits so how do
you kind of stop that cascading trend
well like for example procrastinating
could be a habit that would lead to a
lot of other bad habits are are not
making decisions being indecisive which
is one of the behavior patterns we talk
about I mean if you don’t know how to
make decisions it can cause all kinds of
problems in your life so obviously you
want to stop the first habit rate and
focus on the thing that’s you know
causing the problem we we can’t expect
to make bad choices and have good
results so for example we talked about
the God habit in here
well I can tell you if I did not have
what I call my god time daily for me I
need it daily and I needed early you
know and I remember telling my children
when they first started complaining many
many years ago when I would go into my
room early in the morning and start
spending time with God and I was just
getting a revelation on this and they
would whine for me to come and see
whining they’d whine and for me to come
in why aren’t you gonna come and make
our breakfast and then Nettie do you
have to go in that room every morning I
said listen you better thank God I’m in
this room because you’re gonna have a
much better day if I go in this room so
if for example like if I don’t pay
attention to my god habit spending time
with God then I’m going to have all
kinds of problems all day but if I do
that one thing first
right that I know that the Holy Spirit’s
leading me to do then that solves the
rest of it so yeah it’s interesting
because we’ve encouraged people to join
what we’re calling them make one break
one challenge and so a lot of people
have been doing that and getting
encouragement along the way is they take
this journey and one of the main ones
that people are focusing on is the God
habit which is very exciting they want
that relationship to grow that’s and it
is a Christianity is about having a
relationship with God through Christ
it’s not about being frustrated all day
trying to keep rules and regulations
it’s it’s it’s not about just a trip to
church on Sunday and you know a
five-minute prayer every day those are
all parts of things that we do but it’s
mainly about relationship and God just
wants time with us the Bible says that
he’s jealous God and that can sound a
little odd but he’s actually he loves us
so much that he’s jealous of having time
with us he wants us to seek Him and he
wants us to want him and a lot of people
that have a question about this God
habit I think they don’t know what to do
when they spend their god time it’s like
well what do I do
you know and I honestly don’t think yes
what we do is important but I don’t
think it’s nearly as important as the
fact that we go to God and want time
with him and then he’ll lead us in what
to do he helps fellow right he does okay
let’s hit another question
this is from Wanda and she says I’m very
excited about this particular book my
question is that I have so many bad
habits that are fueled by emotion where
do I start
dealing with the habit or with the
emotion okay well I think that the first
thing that everybody has to start with
is the God habit and I don’t want to
just focus on this one thing all day but
you’re probably going to hear me say it
a lot because there’s no hope of
changing any other habit if we don’t
have the god habit and one of the habits
is a habit of stable emotions and so she
should start there if the emotions you
know I believe I mean I did encourage
people in the book if yours getting
started to start with something small
maybe so you get a success so that might
be a good thing too for her to first
take a couple of simple things and focus
on those see that she’s going to get a
good result then go after that major one
great which is the emotional habit and I
think you have to understand emotions in
order to be able to form a habit of
stability I was actually just thinking
this morning how much peace I have in my
life now and how stable I am when
problems come up compared to the way I
was 15 years ago and it’s not an
overnight thing I think that anybody in
30 days can get a good start but when
you talk about something like emotions
that’s something that I mean a person
could even have to do some digging back
to well why am I so emotionally out of
control where is this coming from there
are other people that’s just their
personality they’re more sanguine
emotional type people and it may be
something that they’ll have to learn to
deal with on a regular basis throughout
their life here’s a very practical
question this comes from Indianapolis
and it says I’m having a rough time
quitting smoking and I’m reading about
temptation in the Bible but what else
can you offer to help me in this habit
well since I used to smoke and had a
very hard time breaking that habit I can
deal with that one of the things that I
started doing and it’s going to sound
strange to somebody who doesn’t know the
principle of confessing the Word of God
out loud
but your words have power and so often
when people have a bad habit they talk
about that bad habit like what my bad
habit and I could never stop doing this
and for years and years
I said not realizing what I was doing I
could never stop smoking because I know
if I did I would want to eat all the
time and I would gain a lot of weight
so I literally had more or less dug my
own grave and jumped in it so every time
I tried to quit
I had already set myself up for failure
so one of the things I started doing was
I started confessing out loud I don’t
like to smoke I’ve quit smoking it’s an
expensive habit it people smell the
smoke on me I don’t I don’t do it
anymore I don’t want to do it anymore
and within two weeks I had started a
journey taking a step of faith to
actually quit now I’m not going to say
that it was not difficult it was but in
30 days it was pretty much all but over
the first week for me was more difficult
and then even when I would have a rough
day or something bad would happen I
remember being at a picnic one time in
the middle of this quitting thing and
Dave and I got into an argument and I
left the picnic and ran home to try to
find some cigarettes to smoke like that
was really going to solve my problem and
I remember I found some but then I made
the decision to throw them in the trash
can and that was a that was like a big
breaking point for me and so much
triggers yeah when it comes to something
that has a physical hold on you drugs
alcohol smoking sugar caffeine something
like that I’m not going to tell you that
there’s going to be no discomfort for
you because I think that would be
foolish for me to say that but I will
say that it’s not going to last forever
it gets easier every single day and the
big thing is is not to think about the
pain you have right now but think about
the freedom that you’re going to have in
a short period of time yeah keep that
encouraging thing in mind alright
question from Omaha Nebraska I really
need help with my habit of always being
late I give myself plenty of time but
then I still end up being late in it’s
in
in my employment well most people who
have difficulty being late are people
who either don’t plan well but she’s
saying that she does so we won’t go at
it from that angle but probably what
she’s doing is she’s trying to do too
much of what she wants to do instead of
doing what she should do first like my
daughter the twins mother had a problem
with this for a lot of years and she
would put off getting ready to the end
because she likes everything in her
house neat when she leaves and so she
would get all caught up in all these
things that really should not have been
priority for her at that time and then
when it got down to I have to get ready
then she’d be in a big rush and end up
being late now in her situation she
really needed a revelation of God’s
grace in her life because she was
depending on herself to change this
instead of depending on God and that’s a
premise that we have to have throughout
all of this and I said that when I
talked about the God habit and the
reason why the God habit is so important
is you go to God first and you ask him
to give you the grace to do whatever you
need to do I don’t suggest that anybody
watching today just try to break a habit
or trying to make a habit trying is not
the answer
believing is what determines our living
and so what we need to do is believe God
and always ask ask ask ask God to help
you with everything that you try to do
that’s good that’s good um question from
Mercedes she asked how do I overcome the
habit of being passive well that’s an
interesting one because when you’re
passive you just plain don’t want to do
anything interestingly enough and this
may encourage her my husband Dave had a
stronghold of passivity in his life when
we first got married and it was a tough
thing for him to get rid of
he certainly overcome now he certainly
did but when you’re passive what happens
is you’ve been inactive for a long
period of time or you’ve practiced not
making too
Asians to the point where the enemy
actually the enemy being the devil gets
involved in oppressing our will so you
just don’t want to I mean you just
absolutely don’t want to do anything
everything about you has become passive
so we’re going to the first habit Dave
had to farm was the god habit and he
started getting up in the morning really
early before he went to work to spend
time with God and invariably he would
fall asleep it was hard for him he’d
have to get up and walk around you know
sometimes we do have to fight the good
fight there’s no there’s nothing saying
that everything is going to be easy now
you know I’m kind of a rambunctious
fighter type person anyway so you know
that’s not as challenging for me but for
a passive person they’d rather lay by
the pool like the crippled man in John 5
for 38 years waiting for a miracle to
float by than they would to get up and
do what they know that they need to do
so you start by spending that time with
God praying asking God to help you and
then take baby steps of no matter how
you feel just get up and do what you
know you need to do it may feel like you
are dragging yourself through quicksand
initially but here again keep in mind it
gets easier every day well you said
something really important and that’s
not basing what you do on your feelings
so you know that’s that’s a big part of
it and that goes back to that emotional
habit as well the god habit so many of
these things really do tie together and
so many people live by how they feel and
I probably we all do more than we
realize that we do but people constantly
tell me how they feel yeah I feel like
nobody loves me I feel I feel you know
are all as people maybe when I’m out one
of my conferences and they’ve been there
on Thursday night Friday morning and
maybe I’ll see it not are you coming
tonight well I’m going to see how I feel
well you know what you’re not going to
come then you can’t wait and see how
you’re going to feel you have to make a
decision right right
Jacob is asking an interesting question
he wants to know what is the difference
between a habit and an addiction and how
does that apply to this well a habit out
of control
can become an addiction that’s why it’s
very important to get a handle on these
things when you realize that something
is getting out of balance in your life
that’s when you need to come against it
first Peter 5:8 says be well balanced
for your adversary the devil roams about
like a lion roaring in fierce hunger
seeking whom he may devour I love that
scripture it was one of the first
scriptures that God taught me many years
ago and the truth is is when we’re out
of balance that’s an open door for the
enemy because the devil loves extremes
anything that’s extreme I read one time
that it that an extreme is the enemy’s
playground and so if you notice that
something is starting to get out of
balance in your life you’re starting to
get up in the morning and turn the
television on right away and you’re
you’re you know sitting in front of it
way way way way way too many hours not
saying that it’s wrong to watch
television but still want to spend your
whole day doing that or you’re going out
and shopping more and more and spending
more and more money that you know down
deep in your heart that you shouldn’t
spend it’s very important to get things
in the beginning resist the devil that
is on set the Bible says in first Peter
and so if we’ll do that then those
things won’t become addictions because
when something has become an addiction
it is more difficult to get rid of not
impossible we can do it but it is going
to be a little more difficult yeah all
right this is a question from Louisiana
I love my wife dearly however there are
times when drawn to anger she knows how
to get under my skin where are you
that’s very true before I know it I’ve
lashed out and called her a name that
hurts her very badly and I don’t want to
do that so how can I help it sounds
almost like just a gut response
something that he said before he even
realized it well it’s it’s going to
require learning how to control his
emotions and his mouth and you know I
always think of examples from my own
life and I hope people don’t get tired
of those but I always say I don’t have
to tell made-up stories like Jesus did
I’ve got enough of my own I never run
out of stuff for my own life but when I
was trying to learn how to not talk back
today
trying to learn how to be a submissive
wife you know he would be maybe saying
something I didn’t like or something I
didn’t agree with and I would feel the
Holy Spirit in my spirit just giving me
that little nudge I just don’t say
anything don’t say anything and honestly
sometimes I would have to just excuse
myself and get out of the room because I
could feel the anger coming up and it
would actually be better for him to get
away from the situation get control of
himself and then come back and try to
deal with it in a decent way because
they’re kind of playing off of each
other you know I’m probably probably
neither one of them even realize what’s
going on it’s just become something that
the enemy’s gotten a stronghold in and
so she knows what gets under his skin he
thinks she may not really know at all it
may just be a habit she has and he has a
habit of playing back into it and
probably after the explosion they both
go what happened that’s what what
happened with me I’d like how did we get
into this big argument we were just
trying to talk about some simple thing
you know the good news is and I think
this is a good place to stop and say
this is the Holy Spirit is our teacher
I’m a teacher he’s the teacher and he
guides us into all truth and the Holy
Spirit will show us how to do every one
of the things that we need to do in our
life if we’ll have the God habit and go
first
to him and depend on him for the answers
that we need you know I can give a list
of well this is what I did I did I did
and that might not work for somebody
else but God will show them what to do
and it’s very important to me that
people participating this webcast today
turn it off with full hope that whatever
the habit is that they have in their
life that it can be can be changed by
making a good habit that nothing is
impossible with God that God will give
them the ability they have to believe
because if you don’t believe nothing is
going to change and in this situation
like this this man is talking about with
his wife God will give him
I like to call a red light on the inside
of him
a little warning bell that lets him know
you’re going in that direction again
been there done that let’s don’t go
around that mountain again and then it’s
up to him and we always have a part in
all this it’s up to him if he’s going to
then give his will to God and do what he
knows God’s wanting him to do are just
continue to be emotional and blurt out
something he’s going to be sorry for
right okay well we’re going to keep
going here we want to get through as
many of these questions as we can this
question comes from Milwaukee and says
how do you get rid of the habit of being
a people pleaser
maybe we should identify what a people
pleaser is first well a people pleaser
is someone who will always try to keep
people happy not that that in itself is
a bad thing but if we keep people happy
at the cost of disobeying God are losing
our own life and identity then that
becomes a real problem and the root of
that habit is insecurity if we don’t
know who we are in Christ then it’s
going to be way way way too important
for us to us what people think about
right so in order to get them to think
well of us we’re going to do anything
that we think they want us to do
it can also be rooted in rejection if
somebody has experienced the pain of
rejection in their life they may spend
more time in relationships trying to
avoid rejection than they even do trying
to build a good relationship rejection
can be very very painful
our abandonment can be very very painful
and so insecurity rejection abandonment
those can all be root problems or
underlying problems that cause people
then to care too much about what people
think and what we care too much about
what they think then we’re likely to do
whatever we think they want us to do to
keep their friendship right and so
therefore becoming a people pleaser
which would on the surface sound like a
good thing becomes a dangerous habit for
us because we’re not doing what’s best
for us or for that other person we’re
just trying to play that’s a very good
point
you’re not even doing what’s good for
the other person because you’re letting
them manipulate you and control you and
that’s not good for them I will say if
somebody’s in a relationship where
they’ve already been doing this for a
long time it may take quite an explosion
to undo it because when you’ve allowed
somebody to do that for a long period of
time that is not easy for them either
when you suddenly change but you know a
good thing to learn is to that just to
say no when you need to say no and to
realize that if somebody is really your
friend then they’re going to want you to
follow your heart and if they don’t want
you to follow your heart but they only
want you to do what they want you to do
then they’re not a true friend they’re a
manipulator and a controller and that is
absolutely not a good thing for anybody
here okay this question is coming from
South Carolina how can I stop myself
from swearing it feels like it’s just
instantly falling out of my mouth and
sometimes when people have that habit
maybe even from years back it’s very
difficult to stop that pattern yeah you
know it’s no different though than any
other verbal habit like whining or
complaining or self-pity or anything
else and here again I know I’m going to
sound like I’m going right back to the
same thing again but it’s why it’s the
first habit in the book is you need to
spend time with God about this
particular thing asking God to help you
and then the other thing I would
recommend is when you do make a mistake
don’t go into a guilt pattern because
guilt is a treadmill that wears you out
that just leads you right back into more
and more sin and so let’s just say that
somebody’s trying to break the habit of
swearing all right so maybe they go to
ours and they’re fine and then they
swear well instead of saying oh I’m
never going to change this is never
going to change I’m always going to I’m
always going to be this way I would
recommend that they say god I thank you
that I’ve prayed about this and that
you’re helping me and that I’m going to
see complete victory and although I just
made a mistake I know that I’m forgiven
because of the blood of Christ and I
receive that forgiveness now and I go on
stay focused on the good thing and don’t
let the enemy draw you back into that
I’m never going to change yeah well this
goes along with that quite quite well
and it’s I’m sure a question that many
people are asking but it says I have an
addiction to alcohol and I know it’s at
the point where it can kill me I think
it’s more than just a bad habit how do I
pray and get past this horrible
addiction and I would call it an
obsession as what she says well here
again she may need to get to the root of
the problem of why she started drinking
to begin with is there some kind of pain
in her life from brokenness from broken
heartedness from abuse and she’s really
just trying to drowned out her pain she
may need some professional help but one
of the things that I can can offer from
a very simplistic standpoint is every
time that you feel like that you want to
run to the alcohol instead run to Jesus
and literally get on your knees and say
God help me help me help me help me help
me and I don’t care she has to stand
there and say help me for 30 minutes
that will pass now there’s a physical
addiction to alcohol and there’s going
to be withdrawals and things to go
through so that’s why I’m saying she may
need some professional help but here
again please don’t think that you can
never be free because I’m sure that
there are people watching who think you
know I’ve had this problem for so long
there’s no way that I’m ever going to be
free from this well your self-defeating
before you ever get started you must
believe that with God all things are
possible and God loves me he wants to
help me and I believe that with his help
I can’t do this be realistic with
yourself it’s probably she’s not going
to get over alcoholism in two days I
mean this is going to be something
that’s going to take a real commitment
but it she’s been being committed to
destroying her life why not get really
committed to saving her life and let God
get on her side and really help her but
just having that knowledge that there is
nothing that we cannot overcome with
Christ in our life gives such freedom
that we don’t have to give up and that
we’re not doing this alone
that it is possible and I’ve heard too
many testimonies of people delivered
from eating disorders and alcoholism and
and overeating and rage and you know
just all kinds of things I mean I mean
there’s there’s stories of deliverance
all over the place and God is no
respecter of persons what he does for
one he will do for the other and you
know I like to tell people we you know
we really back off when we think about
discomfort or pain like everybody wants
some kind of an easy answer that’s going
to be can you wave your magic wand over
me and you know this can just be gone
and I tell people you’re hurting anyway
with your addiction it’s making you
miserable I mean like this woman I can
tell I can just feel that she’s
tormented yeah there’s pain and anguish
and that’s not God’s will for her life
he loves her and he has a good plan for
her and he doesn’t want her to live like
that and she’s hurting anyway so why not
just turn the corner today and say okay
god I put my hand in yours you show me
what to do
if that’s get professional help I’m
going to get it if it pray more I’m
going to do it whatever it’s going to
take I’m going to do that if I need to
get some counseling I’m going to do that
and I’m don’t even plan on it being easy
I think a lot of times you know you say
well isn’t it kind of negative to plan
on it being hard I’m not you don’t you
don’t really have to plan on it being
hard are easy just say I can do whatever
I need to do through Christ who
strengthens me we all hope it’s easy but
if it’s not I can do it anyway because
God is going to equip me to do whatever
I need to do and the other thing is is
even when you’re breaking a habit by
making a good habit and it is hard you
can even trust God in that that God’s
leading you that way for a purpose Dave
and I quit smoking within the same few
month period of time
Dave basically said I’m going to smoke
until God takes the desire away the next
day he got up and never had a desire to
smoke and never smoked after that Wow on
the other hand I had to go through some
stuff and that was did you ask why well
that was a little bit annoying he was
like why does Dave get everything so
easy but you know what and I didn’t
understand for a few years but I do know
why because I’m called to minister to
people who are going through things and
God wants me to know how they
feel and he wants them to know that I
know how they feel because that gives us
a great connection yeah it gives us an
empathy together here’s somebody who
really understands me
yeah well it does make a difference and
God can do it any way he wants but he
does know what we need that’s exactly I
know it’s best to knows what he wants to
use us for later yeah okay any
scriptures or advice on breaking the
habit of failing and being afraid of
success well first of all if you’re
alive if you’re breathing you’re not
dead then you’re not a failure you may
have failed at some things but you’re
not a failure so we need not take
failure as an identity yeah and I think
a lot of times instead of being afraid
of success I think people are really
more afraid that they can’t handle the
success which I guess is saying the same
thing but I think that they think the
more successful they are the more people
are going to be watching them and so if
they have this inbred fear of failing
our being imperfect then so they’re
still really the fear of success is
still a fear of failure because they’re
afraid that they’re not going to be able
to handle the success or maintain the
success or you know look good in front
of of more people and the whole failure
thing I love what John Maxwell says you
can fail forward he actually wrote a
whole book on that and it’s so true you
can learn from your mistakes everything
that you do that doesn’t turn out good
you can learn at least I’m not going to
do that again and I think even as far as
people trying to find out what God’s
will is for their life or what the call
is on their life many people never find
out because they’re waiting for some
100% surefire answer from God and what
we need to do many times is just step
out try something well that’s not it
that doesn’t fit that didn’t work try
something else
I always teasingly say I was so
passionate about wanting to serve God
that I would just do anything that came
up at our church that anybody needed a
volunteer for and one
the things I tried was working in the
nursery and it only took me and the kids
about two weeks to know that wasn’t my
call so I didn’t have to feel like a
failure I just realized you know what
this is not not for me I think a lot of
times too people feel like they’re a
failure because they’re not like
somebody else and we don’t have to be
like anybody else
so failure is something that’s in your
mind if you just refuse to give up
anybody can succeed at something if they
just flat refuse to give up
if they keep putting one foot in front
of the other and say that didn’t work
out but I’m going to find the thing that
does well we’ve talked a lot about
breaking bad habits and and you’ve
mentioned the importance of filling our
lives with the good things that
squeezing out those opportunities for
bad habits so let’s talk some more about
some of those good habits how do I make
the habit of submitting to Authority
well I think that the thing that really
helped me was to realize how important
that is to God and it’s actually not
it’s not up for a vote it’s like a
person who won’t submit to Authority is
rebellious yeah and this is going to
sound really tough but the Bible says
that rebellion is like witchcraft so
it’s a very wicked thing we don’t want
to be rebellious many people have been
hurt by somebody in authority and
they’ve even made pacts with themselves
and promises and vows to themselves that
nobody’s ever going to push me around
again that’s what I did because my dad
abused me and was so mean I mean I must
have said thousands of times in my heart
when I get out of here nobody’s going to
tell me what to do when I get out of
this house and nobody’s going to push me
around well then it became very
difficult for me to submit to Authority
because right I had to break that
promise that I had to myself that nobody
was going to do that and authority had
not been a good thing in your life
authority had not been a good thing in
my life and I read a book on authority
by a writer named watchman Nee who was a
wonderful Chinese Christian has gone
home to be with the Lord but he but the
Bible talks about in Romans 13 the
importance of submitting even to the
civil authority you know little things
like speed limits and stop sign
and not parking in a handicapped parking
space you know when you have that spirit
of rebellion in your life it’s going to
show up all over the place and so it is
a very important thing and you know
you’re you’re on your way to success
when you admit that you have a problem
and you stop making excuses for that
problem you know for me I had so many
personality issues that I needed to
overcome from being abused and I kept
blaming my bad behavior on the abuse and
I remember when I learned that although
being abused was the reason I was the
way I was I could not use it as an
excuse to stay that way that was a big
breakthrough for me and so it’s you know
it’s going to take some study and
realizing I think for me when I realized
how I was damaging my own life by not
submitting to Authority and how it hurt
the heart of God when I didn’t submit to
Authority even though that authority is
not always right and that was a big
issue for me because when God was
dealing with me about this I was under
some authority that wasn’t treating me
all that great and I knew they weren’t
right but the thing is if we do what’s
right even when somebody else isn’t
doing what’s right that then opens the
door for God to be able to bless us yeah
and I think you know so many of us deal
with different types of that same issue
I mean I can just be that kind of person
where if if you tell me to do it I don’t
want to do it just because it’s like
when when a pastor says turn to your
neighbor and say such-and-such sometimes
I feel like I don’t want to turn to my
neighbor and say such-and-such
just because you told me to and that’s
just you know God dealing with all of
that almost so insignificant even though
I tell people to do it in my meetings
like well you’ll know what I don’t say
yeah you’re still working with that yeah
okay how do you create a positive habit
of trusting in God I think it’s one step
at a time and you know the thing that
finally put me over the edge or over the
top I guess with trusting was I finally
just made a decision and I know a lot of
people think you can’t make a decision
to trust God but you can because it is
your decision to make
I’m either going to trust God
I’m going to trust myself and I’ve
already seen what I do yeah what are the
options I always end up falling apart
somewhere along the line and I already
saw what my life was like from trusting
me or I’m going to put all my trust in
people which you know nothing against
people but they usually disappoint you
too in some way shape or form I mean
even great people end up disappointing
us because they’re not perfect I don’t
think that you want to put your trust in
the world system today because we know
that’s kind of coming unglued and so god
is the best option it’s like you know we
don’t have any other option but Kitana
logically yeah yeah so I just I just
finally logical was the way you should
see the way people look at me when I say
well why don’t you just get logical
about it and realize that God is your
best choice I think sometimes we get
these problems blown out of proportion
in our mind like well how can I trust
God and you know what if what if this
happens and you know I don’t understand
all the pain in the world and you know
what I even said this morning and I
thought you know God there are so many
sick people and we see horrible things
in third world countries children hungry
and you know I don’t understand all that
but it’s not my job to figure it out
God’s asking us to trust him and the
more we trust him the more answers that
we see come into our lives and I don’t
think that God is ever going to give us
everything that we ask him for and thank
God he doesn’t because if we’re asking a
Miss then we don’t want God to give it
to us but that doesn’t mean you can’t
trust God you know there’s a difference
in trusting God for something and
trusting God through something and so
when we commit to trust it’s a total
commitment to trust God all the way
through all I can say is I highly
recommend trust because for me I came to
the point where I’m either going to
trust God or I’m just going to go stark
raving mad because I got so tired of
trying to figure things out and trying
to take care of myself and worrying
about stuff all the time it just finally
wore me out and I think sometimes to be
honest and I hope people understand this
you have to come to the end of yourself
before you can find your true beginning
in God
okay this question comes from Texas how
do I overcome the habit of coming to the
rescue of my older children it’s an
interesting question well i-i’ve had a
tendency to be a little bit of a rescuer
too and it it is challenging I think
maybe because nobody rescued me when I
was little I always want to not just my
kids I mean I just would be happy to
rescue anybody I have to be very careful
along those lines and I think following
the leadership of the Holy Spirit is our
only answer you know I know a couple of
people pretty close to them and and
they’re just such great parents and you
know they will do things with their
children sometimes I mean even their
grown children like they’ll have a need
and they won’t meet the need and I’m
like I want to go meet the need you know
it’s like well how how can you do that
but they look beyond the moment to the
long-term results of continuing to
rescue that person over and over and
over really what we do who we rescue
people over and over is we disabled them
are we enable them to keep their problem
you know you can like my mother enabled
my father’s abuse by not confronting him
and that ended up being a huge problem
in her own life so we can disabled
people from learning how to help
themselves or enable them to keep their
own problem by always being their
rescuer and you know something that
somebody said one time that really hit
me is you know what you’re not the
Savior that’s and we’re not you know
Jesus is the Savior yeah we’re trying to
take the wrong role there and hurting
everybody in the process many times we
get in the way of what he wants to do in
somebody’s life now I love to help my
kids plan to help my kids I hope this
lady continues to help her kids but we
just need to have the balance of saying
god I want to commit this to you and
really learn how to follow the
leadership of the Holy Spirit and
there’s I want to go back to the
submission thing for a minute because
there’s something that just keeps you
and stuck in me that I feel like I need
to make sure that I say in no way shape
or form are we telling anybody that they
need to submit to an authority that’s
abusing them
you know because I know that there are
there’s all kinds of domestic abuse and
sexual abuse and even spiritual abuse
and we’re not telling anybody that they
need to be abused you’re worth more than
that so there are things to stand up to
and not put up with but when it comes to
biblical lines of authority
you know then we need to submit to this
yeah that’s good okay Joyce this comes
from Honduras Joyce I want to know how I
can stop watching over my ex-boyfriends
life
keep checking Twitter Facebook etc it’s
so much easier now to kind of just be
involved in someone’s life in a way that
we shouldn’t be but she basically has an
addiction of an old relationship so how
does she break that off okay well we’d
have to go into a teaching on what soul
ties are in order to be able to handle
this but you know we are soul we are
spirit we have a soul we live in a body
our soul is our mind will and emotions
so you spend five years with somebody
and your mind is on them your emotions
are all tied up in them you’re making a
lot of your decisions based on what they
want so now your soul is connected to
their soul all right you can know that
you need to walk away from a
relationship that it’s poison for you or
the other person can walk away and you
want to be free from it too she has to
realize that these things that she’s
feeling is their soul ties she’s tied to
that person in her soul so stop thinking
about them stop talking about them the
more you think about it the more you
talk about it the more you’re not going
to be able to stay away from it if she’s
around somebody that would know
something about that person and the
temptation comes to ask a question about
them just say god help me help me help
me not to ask I don’t want to sneak keep
being involved with that person I even
had soul ties to a church that I went to
at one point I worked there I was
involved on the staff and when God put
me out in my own ministry I just kept
thinking about and I would actually go
to church there on Sundays and I’d leave
feeling depressed and I didn’t know what
the world was wrong with me and a man
told me he said you got soul ties to the
place and so we just need to realize
that even and even though we’re doing
what we know is right and I think this
is maybe a good way to tell people you
can know that getting away from
something is right but you may even need
to pray for God to help you break those
soul ties and to realize that the more
you think about it the more you talk
about it go back look at old photographs
you know read old letters the more you
do that kind of stuff all you do this
book all the time you know going onto it
yeah you can get something stirred up in
your soul and then you just keep going
around and around that mountain yeah
unfollow there’s a good answer unfollow
on Twitter and then you won’t see it you
you’ve been talking about the good
habits that crowd out the bad habits so
just as we close some of your habits are
so positive that we can encourage people
to get involved in the habit of being
healthy the habit of faith the habit of
being responsible generous adding value
to others the habit of discipline the
habit of positive thinking as we are
focusing on these things as God is
building these things in our life it
really does change our perspective which
changes those others have it have it it
is all yours thank you well the largest
amount of questions that came in were
about the God habit which is very
exciting to me the second largest number
was about being healthy and we haven’t
actually had a chance to talk about that
and I’m sure that there’s a lot of
people that do have questions about
health and eating and you know there’s
just so much sickness today and so many
people struggle with their weight and I
do think it’s because we try to fight
with those bad habits when we really
need to just focus on forming a good
heaven and for anybody who wants to be
healthy like if we tell people if you
want to be a strong Christian you need
to read your Bible okay so for anybody
who really wants to be healthy I really
recommend that you get one good book on
nutrition and health and you know I’ve
got one but there’s there’s many many
others out
that are available and it’s so important
to be educated it’s amazing what happens
when we educate ourselves and so we need
to we need to read I mean nobody is
going to say well I want to be a doctor
and just go hang out a shingle they’re
going to study good doctoring skills and
so if you want to be healthy you have to
know what that even means a lot of
people don’t even know what they’re
putting in their mouth they don’t know
how to read labels here’s one simple
example every hotel room that I go in
for some odd reason they want to leave
you candy on your pillow at night I mean
the worst the last thing you need at
night is candy but you’ve always got
caramels or chocolate or something on
your pillow well you know that’s not an
issue for me at all now I just take it
and put it somewhere else I’m not not
going to take it with me or you know I
was somewhere the other day and they
handed me chocolate when I left I said
you know you might as well just keep
that because because I won’t eat it and
you know what stopped me one time there
was a box of caramels in my room and I
turned the box over and look to see what
was in it it was almost all sugar 100
calories in that little tiny thing I
thought you know what that’s not worth
it to me
so it is amazing if we’ll just be
educated to realize that well you might
prefer to eat a nice Apple that’s got
the same amount of calories in it as one
large mint but if you don’t know that
then you’re going to just keep doing
wrong or even to study the value of
exercise you know we talk about exercise
actual everybody I hate to exercise I
don’t have time to exercise but the
value of exercise is amazing for your
skin for your energy for your health for
you know for you to look 20 years
younger than you do when you get older
so I think that that’s really really
important but then also as you know you
gave me these earlier and I actually got
a little bit aggravated as I went
through some of these because there were
less than 75 people who said they wanted
to work on the habit of generosity and
being generous is one of the most
important things that we can possibly be
because it opens up so many wonderful
doors for us
in the spiritual realm and generosity
yes is about what you do with your money
but it’s about a whole lifestyle of
generosity of being being just being
big-hearted in and generous with your
compliments and generous in every way
and then the other one that was the
second-lowest was the habit of adding
value to other people and I hate to see
these kind of statistics come in because
I don’t want people to be selfish and
self-centred I believe that if you
concentrate on building some of these
good habits that it’s going to shove the
bad ones out of your life yeah you know
one of the biggest problems that I had
in my life Jinger was I was just
flat-out selfish just selfish everything
was about me and it’s amazing as I let
God work with me on that how many other
problems in my life that solved and so
the good news is for you just to really
realize that there’s no problem that is
impossible for God to solve please
believe me I had enough of them and I
know there’s no problem that God cannot
solve if you’re terribly addicted to
some kind of drug or alcohol or if you
bite your fingernails whatever it is and
anything in between God will help you
don’t just try to change go to God for
help let him know that you know you
can’t do it without his help and I don’t
care if you say I have to ask for help a
thousand times a day do it that’s still
probably my most frequently prayed
prayer is God help me and I think a
close second now is thank you Lord we
need to also make sure that we are
grateful for what God is doing in our
lives because when we are then that
widely opens the door for him to do
other things
remember after 30 days you’re going to
be well on your way to farming a good
habit take them one at a time don’t get
discouraged don’t throw in the towel if
you have a bad day and always remember
if you just will not give up God
certainly is never going to give up on
you yeah well Joyce nicely done well
thank you always amazed you have no idea
what these questions are and you just do
a great job that’s because I say before
I come in here god help me yeah
and thank you a lot of great questions
and we really appreciate your joining us
today for this webcast we pray that
everything that you’ve heard and
received today will draw you closer to
the Lord and help you kick some of those
nasty habits while building the good
ones at the same time so god bless you
thanks
you