We can be so quick to criticize ourselves and others. On this episode of Enjoying Everyday Life with Joyce Meyer, learn how God’s Word equips us to deal with conflict, and difficult people. – – – – – – – Follow Joyce: WEBSITE: https://joycemeyer.org
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– – – – – – – Joyce Meyer, one of the world’s leading practical Bible teachers and New York Times best-selling author, shares encouragement and advice to help us enjoy our daily lives. With a heart to share Christ and love people, Joyce’s messages help people in all walks of life to grow in their faith, learn to study the Bible, find healing from the wounds of life, get answers to life’s questions and encounter the love of God in a powerful way. #JoyceMeyer#EnjoyingEverydayLife#JudgmentAndCriticism
I mean you judge people for the same
things that you do you know why we look
at them through our magnifying glasses
but there’s always an excuse for us
isn’t there
I do what I do because I’ve seen God’s
power transform my own life and he will
do it for you the key to everything is
found in God’s word I Joyce Meyer and I
believe that God can heal you everywhere
you hurt
[Applause]
these are in case you’re wondering what
this awful looking red thing is here
I asked them to make these for me and
these are my flaw finder glasses
I think we all have a pair I just don’t
think yours maybe are quite as obnoxious
as mine are
of course I had to make my point
you know Dave has binoculars and
sometimes he’ll sit
at a window and he’ll look at maybe a
deer that’s way out across the field or
something and it it brings it in real
close and so I got this idea that I
could do a take off on that and say we
all have
flaw finder
our fault finder binoculars where we
examine people and we look them over
real good how many of you are good at
finding the flaws in people
come on now this True Confession sets
you free well
do you know
that before God really got a hold of me
I mean back when I was a sort of pretend
Christian you know
do you know what I love to do I love to
go out to the mall back then and sit on
a bench and judge people
just just just be a people Watcher and
just you know
man
what is that good looking guy doing with
her
man
that’s the craziest hairdo I’ve ever
seen in my life
you believe that outfit she’s got on man
how many of you think you have enough
business of your own to mind without
getting into somebody else’s
I’m a real positive person now but it’s
something I do on purpose it wouldn’t be
my natural nature I could probably find
a little something wrong with everything
if I didn’t just decide not to you know
why because there probably is a little
something wrong
with everything
if you’re looking for the perfect Church
the perfect friend
the perfect job
the perfect person to be married to
the perfect teenager
guess what you’re just going to be
disappointed disappointed disappointed
so we need to realize that the Bible
teaches us that we are not to be
judgmental
and critical
toward people
and actually there’s a scripture that
says we are to mind our own business
stay busy with our own hands
and actually there’s evidence in the
Bible that we are to just keep our
opinions to ourselves I’m not going to
stand here and tell you not to have
opinions it’s impossible to live in this
world and not have an opinion but we
don’t have to give our opinion
every time we turn around
because most of the time people don’t
want it and usually even if they ask you
for your opinion if you don’t agree with
what they want to hear
they’re going to reject it anyway amen
Dave and I’ve been married 50 almost 51
years now and so you know by the time
you’ve been married that long you get
things worked out between you and uh
we we just have this on ongoing thing
and it happened
tonight he came out and he asked me
about his shirt with his coat and his
coat is checked and he had a shirt on
that had dots little dots on it and I
said oh no you cannot wear that now I’m
still learning to say things a little
better you know
I didn’t say oh honey well you look good
in absolutely almost anything but that I
just oh okay I can’t wear that that’s
terrible you can’t wear that and he’s
like well what’s wrong with it a lot of
people would like it and I’m like why do
you even ask me what I think because
you’re never going to want to do what I
tell you I don’t don’t you get irritated
with people who ask you what you think
and they really don’t want to know what
you think anyway they just want you to
agree with them
[Applause]
man
if I get up in the morning and say man
it’s gonna Sun’s Gonna Shine all day
nope nope forecast says rain we’re going
to get rain if I say it’s going to rain
no we’re not look at that sun outside
and actually we get along really good
judgment and criticism
well first of all is all judgment wrong
well I want to tell you going into this
that some of you may not care too much
for the first 10 minutes of this message
but we need to hear this so here goes
first of all
unrighteous judgment
is definitely always wrong and what that
is is Hasty judgment based on rumor
are merely glancing at a situation
without knowing all the facts
it’s wrong and it’s condemned by Jesus
let’s look at this scripture John 7 24.
be honest in your judgment
and do not decide at a glance
superficially and by appearances but
judge fairly
and righteously
in other words get to know people we
need to take the time to get to know
people before we even venture to have an
opinion about what they might be doing
it’s so easy to just like the scripture
says glance at something and quickly
form an opinion have you ever met
somebody
and within three minutes you’ve already
decided you don’t like them
it’s like yeah I don’t know
I’m not gonna like you well you know
what for some times for a woman is
because that woman that you’re deciding
you can’t like is better looking than
you are
has the figure that you would like to
have
[Applause]
ah that guy’s got the muscles he’d like
to have or the car he’d like to have
it’s amazing what we could learn if we
would stop long enough to say why do I
feel that way
what is the root
of what I’m feeling
I don’t know about you but I have been
falsely judged by people
more times than I’d like to
remember and it is one of the most
painful things that you can ever go
through it’s amazing how people will
judge what they know absolutely nothing
about
and a lot of criticism and judgment is
done out of jealousy and a lot of times
people judge you for what you have or
what you’re doing and it’s all based out
of jealousy and I just tell people all
the time don’t judge me for what I have
if you don’t want to do what I did to
get it
amen
so that kind of judgment is always wrong
if we’re going to have an opinion about
anything it needs to be a well-informed
opinion and that takes time time
but if we see a Christian sinning I’m
not talking about the world
if we see a Christian sinning we are to
go to him
and confront the situation
in hopes of bringing him to a place of
repentance
now actually Paul said
in First Corinthians 5 and I don’t know
how much you’re aware of these
scriptures because they’re probably ones
that aren’t taught on very much but he
said it’s not our place to judge the
world
that will be left up to God
but it is our place
to judge
Christians in the church who are living
in sin
in order
that they might repent
and not lose their soul
we stay busy I think at this point
judging unbelievers who don’t know God
at all
and we’re ignoring a lot of sin
in the church
under the guise of wanting to walk in
love and not hurt anybody’s feelings
I’m sorry but I think it needs to be
said and so I’m going to say it and when
I say in the church I’m not talking
about your church or my church I’m
talking about the church
at Large
and so the church is intended to be
a holy place or hurting people that are
broken and wounded and yes have sin in
their life and a lot of it can come in
and be repentant and be restored and be
nurtured and we can be patient with them
and we can love them but it’s not
supposed to be a place where somebody
comes in who’s living in open sin and
they don’t intend to change it they
don’t want to change it and they just
want to be there and have all the
benefits of being there and everybody
just leaves them alone and Pats them on
the head because nobody wants to hurt
their feelings
[Applause]
and I’ll tell you here’s the reason why
Paul said this
and I
trust me because I know this message
will go on television all over the place
I thought I better know what I was
talking about before I got up here to do
this so the reason why Paul
told people he even went so far as to
say put them out of the church
excommunicate them
and the reason why he did it is because
whatever you’re around you’re in danger
of becoming like that
let’s just look at it like this you
cannot catch holiness
but you can catch on holiness
you can’t catch Health that’s something
you got to choose but you can catch
disease
you just go sit with somebody face to
face that’s got a bad case of the flu
and unless you got a really good system
going on in your body you could catch it
you may not but you could but you can go
sit all day with a healthy person and
you’ll still have to choose their health
and so Paul was saying not only do we
want them to realize what they’re doing
so they can repent and come to the
knowledge of the truth because we don’t
want to see them lost but we don’t want
them to infect
the church
and start doing damage because here’s
the thing if if let’s just use the word
Loosely leadership if leadership puts up
with that what does it say to the people
other than well I guess it’s okay to do
this so then they just decide to do the
same thing and before you know it you’ve
got a rampant mess going on and the
church no longer becomes what God wants
it to be now I am not at all saying and
this is where this message this part of
the message can get a little tricky I’m
not at all saying that we don’t work
with people for restoration I’m not
talking about people who want to change
you know I was such a mess
after I got away from my dad and then a
bad marriage
from the time I was 18 to 23 I’d been
hurt so bad
I didn’t know how to have any kind of
relationship I had a bad temper I was
manipulative controlling I mean you name
it I had the problem
and
I’m grateful that Dave was patient with
me and long-suffering and and kind and
that he continued to love me and love me
and love me and I was not your perfect
specimen by in a stretch of the
imagination and he would deal with my
behavior when my behavior got bad enough
but somehow or another he knew my heart
he knew that I wanted to change he knew
that I wanted to grow and do better and
I think that’s what we have to look for
in people if you’re trying to help
somebody that just has got a mess of
problems in their life and they’re
having a hard time getting over it be
patient with them if they’re wanting to
change if they’re wanting to grow but
you can’t just not call Sin what it is
we can judge sin without judging the
person amen
now
Matthew 18 15.
if your brother wrongs you go and show
him his fault well we like that part
don’t we
between you and him privately uh oh
I don’t get to go tell anybody else
come on I said I don’t get to go tell
anybody else
I said I don’t get to go tell anybody
else
well we got to press that point
you know how much easier leadership
would be if when people work for you and
they have a problem with each other
they would go to each other instead of
to everybody else
[Applause]
because you know what it does when you
start gossiping it causes strife
go and tell him his fault between you
and him privately if he listens you wind
back your brother if he doesn’t listen
Take Along with you one or two others so
that every word might be confirmed and
upheld by the testimony of two or three
Witnesses if he still pays no attention
refusing to listen tell it to the church
and if he refuses to listen even to the
church then let him be to you as a pagan
and a tax collector and believe me they
had absolutely nothing to do with pagans
and tax collectors
now in First Corinthians 5
1-2
Paul wrote and he said it is actually
reported their sexual immorality among
you impurity of a start that is
condemned and does not occur even among
the heathen
for a man has his own father’s wife so
this was a situation of incest and Paul
had heard about this
and the church apparently verse 2 says
in your proud and arrogant and you ought
ready to mourn and bow and sorrow and
shame until the person who’s done this
shameful thing is removed from your
fellowship and your midst so here we
have somebody that’s
in an incestuous relationship and their
part of the church and they’re
functioning as a part of the church and
the church is not doing anything about
it nobody’s doing anything about it and
so Paul wrote to them and he said shame
on you you’re so proud of yourself about
your church maybe there maybe their
church was growing maybe they had a
great worship team I don’t know what the
deal was but they were so proud of their
church he said you have nothing to be
proud of until you deal with this
situation in your church it has to be
dealt with now you know what
today we don’t see the Church of a place
as a place to have authority over our
lives
but that’s actually what it was really
supposed to be
originally
it was supposed to be loving leaders
with people who wanted to grow and
change
who would confront and deal with issues
out of love and care and I realize
there’s so many messed up people out in
the world today it doesn’t always work
out like that and people get hurt but we
still have to be willing
to receive correction if it comes to us
with the right spirit and we have to be
willing now please listen to me we have
to be willing to not think about how we
feel or what we want but what the word
of God says
that’s all I’m asking it’s not about how
I feel or what I want it’s what does the
word say and if the word says it then I
don’t need to try to work around it to
figure out some way that I can get it to
say something else
it just says what it says and here’s the
thing
and I’m not trying to be spooky the Lord
is coming back and every one of us will
give an account for our lives and it’s
our job in leadership to make sure that
people are ready
amen
now what causes so much judgment and
criticism
I bet some of you would know the answer
starts with a capital p
Pride you got it pride
the only reason why we judge other
people is because we think
that we’re better
we look at what they’re doing and we
think we would never do that
are
we think we know more than they do
pride is the foundation for all
unrighteous judgment and I love what
Paul said in Romans 2 1 he said when you
judge you do the same things that you
judge other people for
what’s with that
I mean you judge people for the same
things that you do you know why we look
at them through our magnifying glasses
but there’s always an excuse for us
isn’t there
if I do it boy there’s a good reason
but if you do it there’s no reason
there is no reason
for you to act like that
but if I act like that it’s because I
had a bad day at work or traffic was bad
there’s no excuse for you to act that
way
but here’s my excuse for acting that way
we need to be as kind to other people as
we are to ourselves
in Romans 12 3
Paul really laid this thing out very
well
he said for by the grace
the unmerited favor of God given to me
I warn everyone among you not to
estimate or think of himself more highly
than he ought to
don’t have an exaggerated opinion of
your own importance
you know I tell myself about 10 times a
day Joyce you are nothing without God
we got to remind ourselves because the
flesh can really start to think it’s oh
this I am it man
I am it especially when you have a few
victories under your belt
if the diet worked for you everybody in
the world should be on the diet
if you gave up sugar everybody in the
world should give up sugar
come on
we love to get a little Victory under
our belt and then forget that God gave
it to us and start taking the credit for
it and then start giving everybody else
Victory lessons
this is what well
I just don’t understand how you could
have be still have how could you still
be having a problem with that
I mean still you’re still having a
problem with that
what you only prayed 10 minutes a day
what well how long do you pray well I
get up every morning at five and I pray
until nine
oh don’t be so full of yourself if God
didn’t give you the grace to get up at
five and pray till nine you’d be in bed
sleeping with everybody else so quit
taking the credit for what God’s doing
[Applause]
Paul said I warn everyone among you not
to estimate and think of himself more
highly than he ought to don’t have an
exaggerated opinion of your own
importance but rate your ability with
sober judgment each according to the
degree of Faith apportioned by God to
him now
after Romans 12 3 I’m not going to go
read it all
actually the whole chapter of Romans 12
is a phenomenal chapter in the Bible
there’s 12 different lessons in that one
chapter
and he goes into this discourse about
the different gifts that we have and the
different abilities that we have each of
them given to us by God’s grace
so Nate we understand this easily like
you all know it’s not my fault that I
can’t sing
God didn’t give me the ability to sing
so I can’t sing and so
no singer is going to judge me because
they can sing and I can’t sing they
understand that
but there’s other things that we do
judge people for that they can’t do
because we’re good at that and we don’t
understand why they’re not good at that
for example somebody who does things
very quickly
has a very hard time with people who do
things very slowly
how many quick people do we have here
okay you make quick decisions
I mean I’m a gut person I just I got a
decision
and
usually
I’m pretty right on that’s just the gift
that God has given me for what I do but
then
there’s other people that I know that I
can ask them something simple
like
where would you like to eat tonight
now you guys are pointing at each other
this is
come on have you noticed that God always
puts you with somebody it’s not like you
why not so you can fight because they
have something you don’t have and you
have something they don’t have
and when we learn how to walk together
in love then we build one another up and
we don’t have to judge and criticize
each other all the time
you know there are things that we should
confront people on we’ve talked about
that
but it really needs to be things that we
can plainly see in scripture or sin not
just our opinion
of what somebody should or shouldn’t do
you know I personally would be very
careful before I went to somebody and
told them how they should parent their
children
come on
first of all they’re not my kids they’re
their kids
and second of all
I mean mine all survived and they’re all
serving God but I didn’t do that great
of a job there are things that I look
back now and I I mean I nobody read to
me when I was growing up so I didn’t
know to read to my kids and now I see
all my kids reading to their kids and I
wish I would have read to my kids
I wish I would have done that because
I’ve got some kids that just do not like
to read and maybe if I would have read
to them they would have liked it but you
know what I can’t I can’t go back and
undo what I did I can ask God to correct
it and he does but I think before we
start giving everybody else lessons we
have to think about
what we’re not so good at
and everybody’s good at a bunch of stuff
and everybody is not good at a bunch of
stuff
amen
you know when Dave and I got married of
course the first thing I did was
and I didn’t realize I was doing it but
I set out to change him
and um
I I just want to speak a word to you
lovely people that are still in that
place
of trying to change the person that
you’re married to
are think you’re going to be married to
uh it won’t work
I can save you a lot of time and a lot
of Heartache by just telling you that it
just won’t work
you know Dave loves every sport if it
bounces Dave likes it
and uh
I just don’t I don’t care for any of
them I’m focused on something else you
know and uh
I mean it’s not uncommon for Dave to
watch one game listen to another one and
be cleaning his golf clubs at the same
time
and I tried so hard to change him to get
him not to like that stuff and to be
like me and it was really all just based
out of selfishness
and I’ll tell you what until you can
learn to be out of control and love it
come on
that’s a new message I haven’t preached
yet but I like that title
learn to be out of control and love it
the only thing that God has told us to
control is ourselves
he hasn’t told us to go control anybody
else
he’s told us to control ourselves
and so if you want to have a good
relationship with anybody
you’ve got to decide what in their life
is real Sin that you need to talk about
and what is just your opinion of what
you would prefer them not to do and a
lot of those things you’re going to have
to make a decision to accept people the
way they are and if God wants to change
them trust God to change them but spend
your time letting God change you
[Applause]
you’re not all smiling
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[Music]
thank you
the Mind actually is the battlefield
that’s where we win or lose the war with
Satan he said all he gets to say
thank you
you start asking God to heal you and he
will restore it’s the God of all comfort
and I am so grateful that I know how to
call on God
[Music]