With a heart to share Christ and love people, Joyce’s messages help people in all walks of life to grow in their faith, learn to study the Bible, find healing from the wounds of life, get answers to life’s questions and encounter the love of God in a powerful way.

oh

what’s that look at here

i heard yeah hey guys we’re giving out

wisdom today so i thought i’d come by

and get a little

friends this is joyce meyer’s talk it

out podcast and we are so glad that

you’re here to come on in

with us this is where joyce teaches the

word of god

in her practical wonderful no-nonsense

way

and my friends and i talk about the real

stuff of living it and we hold nothing

back and i just have a feeling today is

going to be one of those days

there’s already nothing held back uh i’m

ginger stocky

with my friends jay williams and aaron

cluley three

friends who are all in very different

stages different stages of life but

we really do understand the importance

of having

honest loving women around you consider

yourself one of us because sometimes you

got to talk about life with your

girlfriends

so come on in and let’s talk it out

let’s talk it out

hi youtube hi i just want to start by

saying

your hair looks really good today oh not

that it doesn’t look good any other day

but

i said that too when i saw it

did you get it cut or did did you cut it

because we know

i know yeah it’s usually a little bit of

both

but yeah um i did i did get a recent cut

it looks very good and the blue is

bringing out your eyes thank you

well that’s one of the things i was

telling erin with this outfit

it’s like it wrinkles so bad i iron and

iron and iron and also

i look like i’ve been through a tornado

again right away

and we’re talking today our topic is

about wisdom

and needing help in life everyday

questions

and just needing wisdom and i’ve just

felt like that lately

it’s so many things like i sat down here

today and i went ah

do you ever just feel like that and then

jay comes in and she sits down and does

the exact same

thing that is my move like aaron’s the

only one that’s like oh hey guys

i’m a wrinkled mess and i’m a hot mess

it is hot in here too i’m like is it hot

in here today or am i it’s just

adrenaline from just like about a day

already but it’s good

here’s one of the things that that i’ve

discovered i needed wisdom on and what

i’ve decided to do about it so

i have to find a new way to drive to

work

because it’s a big deal it is but

unfortunately from where i live there

are two ways that take about the same

amount of time i like to go one way

but there is this intersection where i’m

going to lose my salvation

if i don’t stop going that direction we

definitely don’t want you to keep going

that way well

yeah so let’s just be really clear you

cannot lose your salvation

at an intersection thank you for making

however you can get really close

i’m just getting more and more angry

because people never stop

and like it’s like a curve and a stop

and so you can’t see when they’re coming

and i can’t tell you how many times i

have to slam on my brakes

yeah and so it’s one of those things at

the intersection where i’m like

who wants to come to work that way so

that is

go a different way yeah that is you look

how simple that was i know

you know it’s going to take me another

hour and a half but that’s okay no it

won’t really

but you know sometimes you’ve got to

make choices in life yeah it’s true

well joyce has been working on a new

project

about proverbs and all of the wisdom

that is in that book and so today like i

said

we’re just talking about questions that

we face every day

and how to find the answers and there is

so much in the book of proverbs and all

throughout god’s word

where we can learn so much

so let’s jump in and get started with

joyce talking about how we can find

wisdom in god’s word proverbs

promises us that if we walk in wisdom

that everything else that we need will

come along with it

i mean the promises in proverbs

of what god will do for us if we operate

in wisdom

are astounding i mean it’s riches and

honor

and promotion and long life and good

health and

all the things that we really want if we

just

apply wisdom anybody who would take the

book of proverbs

study it and apply every principle in it

would have a life that was so amazing i

mean it would be like

jaw-dropping amazing so

before i go any further i want you to

consider

are you applying to your life

the things that you say you know

are do you often hear yourself say

i know i shouldn’t do this but or i know

i

should do this but well that means you

know what to do

but you’re not doing it wisdom is a

depth depth

of insight that goes beyond the surface

of a thing

wisdom takes us beyond the way things

look

to the way they really are wisdom

goes beyond how we feel

to do what we know is right

you see we have a flesh

and the flesh consists of our body and

our soul

and what god wants he comes to live in

our spirit and he wants

to be able to have control of the soul

if the spirit and the soul

are in control then satan has already

won

well the soul is mind will and emotions

and so often people live based on what

they want they think and they feel

i want i think i feel i want i think i

feel

but proverbs is telling us that we need

to go way beyond all that

we need to live beyond how we feel i

mean our feelings are

are real and

you know we don’t have to say we don’t

have them we can admit that we have them

but we can’t let them control our

decisions our mind

how often do we say well i think i think

i think i think but what does god’s word

say

and even what we want well i want this i

want that

you know god didn’t call us to have

everything that we

want in life he’s called us to do his

will and if we do

then we’ll end up with everything that

we want that is something that we really

should have so when you hear what joyce

was was talking about with

everything that god wants for us

um to get those things we have to

operate in wisdom

right because if we don’t obey and

follow what his word says

then we’re not going to have the great

life that he wants us to have and i’m

not talking about stuff

right you know i’m talking about peace

and contentment

and joy and all the fruit of the spirit

so

for you guys what what are those big

areas that you feel like you’re

always searching for wisdom just

questions that you’re asking the lord

because i’m sure if it’s true for us

it’s true for all of our friends as well

the first thing i wrote down on my notes

i have to quote it to you

i hoped she wouldn’t mention our

emotions

[Laughter]

that would work yeah because before i

we i started setting i thought probably

my feelings get in the way but

like let’s just not worry about that

part i’m sure it’s not that big of a

deal

and that’s one of the first things she

addressed and so i was starting to think

about that and

my emotions really do dictate a lot of

decisions i make or how i process

information sure

and so if i run down that trail of how

i’m feeling about something then i’m not

um

oh what’s that look at

here i heard

but hey guys we’re giving out wisdom

today so i thought i’d come by and get a

little we’re waiting to get some from

you

she wants to get away now we were

calling her did i miss him

i am shocked it’s a surprise

but i’ll tell you after seeing your

shiny black pants and her black leather

pants

i’m like i wore my jeans today which i

hardly ever wear

thinking well i’m just going to go up

and surprise them and just be really

casual

and everybody’s all dressed up but your

boots are fancy yes i love it you look

good

so you’re teaching people some wisdom

we were just listening to you teach

about it and eric okay

you have to share what you said again

aaron in your notes no emotions i heard

that

okay don’t do it i’ve been listening wow

so you’re talking about wisdom who knows

what wisdom is

you know that was something i was

actually thinking about when i was

studying this is

that feels like such a really big word

yeah and i can’t i can’t even define it

for you because it feels

so big it sounds intimidating so you

tell me what it is

yes well wisdom is the accurate

application of knowledge

or i like to say it’s doing now what

you’ll be satisfied with later on in

life

that’s good yeah so all of our decisions

have some kind of consequences

one way or the other yeah and so most

people

are what i call gamblers in life they

they do the wrong thing hoping they’ll

get by with it and won’t have

any concept that is really true and what

god wants us to be as investors he wants

us to pay the price up front

even if it’s hard yeah or we have to

give something up

you know take for example like saving

money nobody’s ever going to save any

money if they won’t give up something

up front for the reward that they’ll

have

on the back end yeah and so um

how many people want to be physically

fit and they want to

have good muscle tone but they don’t

want to

do the work and and how often do people

say i know i should but

yeah i know i shouldn’t but yeah i know

i should but

and uh i would say that probably

the biggest problem that we have as

christians

is it’s not that we don’t know what to

do

we do know what to do i mean now there

are

there’s obviously some who don’t know

what to do because they haven’t

sure been born again that long they

haven’t had that much time to study the

word

but there are lots and lots and lots of

people

that have been in the word years and

years and years i mean they’ve it’s

underlined it’s color-coded it’s you

know

they’ve got hanging around their house

but

there can’t be a gap between what we

know and what we do yeah

you’re right and james said to be to to

know what to do

and then not to do it you’re deceiving

your own selves

you’re so right i just need to move

around here

and cuddle right up here and listen to

you because what you’re saying

is so spot on because when you talk

about

wisdom it seems like this big thing that

only

very very wise people or solomon you

know rulers have

right there are so many things that i

know

i should be doing and and it’s i think

it’s so much more of

god softly telling you things and the

word telling you things all along

but a lot of them i’ve learned over the

years and i continue to do and

and i’m so grateful for the wisdom that

i’ve learned but those areas that i

still have trouble are often because

i’m not following through yeah just the

other day i

this actually happened and i i

acknowledged it i

was upset about something and so i went

with my feelings and i had the thought

aaron you know what to do here this is

not the you’re not going the right way

you know what the word says

you should handle it this way and i i

said yep and then i did that

that is not what she did and

then afterwards i thought that’s exactly

what you’re not to do did it not go the

way you want no it absolutely did not

then you know what your mama would say

you deserve what you got yeah i did i

totally did

mama was right mama choice is right too

it’s um

and a lot of the things that we know to

do

and that we don’t do they’re not

necessarily things that

we’re going to go to hell if we don’t do

them right we’re not going to lose our

salvation

if we don’t exercise right now we’re not

going to

you’re so happy to know that right i

mean

you’re not going to lose your salvation

if you’re 50 pounds overweight but

it will make you unhappy right you won’t

feel as good

you won’t be as healthy and it’ll be

something that

sits on your spirit like a heavy weight

all the time and the thing is is if you

just pay the price up front

and do what you need to do for

several months or you know a few weeks

depending on

whatever it is and i’m not just picking

on weight it’s that way with how many

people are in so much

trouble financially yeah i mean they

just i mean they’re spending

next week’s paycheck before they ever

get done with the week and they’ve

already they’re so in debt that they

already owe everything that they’re

going to make for the next two or three

years and so they become discouraged

and then they feel like they’re not

making enough money then they get mad at

their

their boss because they’re not being

paid enough and they start blaming

everybody else and then they start

resenting people who have more than them

and really the promises of god i love

this they’re for whosoever will

yeah and whosoever will means

anybody can have the life that jesus

died to give us

if we god’s not going to show us what to

do then do it for us and that’s what a

lot of people think

yeah yeah i’ve asked him to yeah yeah

yeah it doesn’t can you

you know make my food have no calories

in it or

you know we can ask god to give us the

grace to to work out or

give us the grace to save money or you

know whatever the case

might be discipline your children i mean

there’s a there’s a lot of different

different things so what areas

do you feel like that you need wisdom

and what practical areas do you feel

like you need to apply more wisdom in

your if you only knew that

pages of notes you have questions

i will i mean one of the things in that

clip that we played before

that really was like an eye eye-opener

for me was when you said

wisdom pushes us beyond how we feel

right

and one of the things that i when we

first started talking about this was

going to be the topic for

this particular podcast and i was

thinking what will i ask joyce like

what do i need help with wisdom on one

of the things was getting out of

that uh pit of despair of like feeling

because for instance this past weekend i

was just trying to i’m typically a

planner

but i felt so like kind of like

burdened with all of the things that

needed to get done

and because of some of the things that

have happened over the past like year

year and a half or so feeling like so

many things were out of my control

you know like you do so much work you

try to live the right life you do the

right thing

you know virgin until marriage and all

that stuff you know you do all of these

things

and now look at what’s happening and how

in the world did this happen to me and

so

that that fear of feeling like even if i

do all the things like it still doesn’t

matter so i started

getting in this like wild like this pit

of

of like feelings you know but then what

honestly pulled me out

of it was making choices to say you know

what these are feelings these are

temporary

let me keep doing things to keep moving

forward and so

um that was one of the things that i was

going to ask you like how do you get

yourself from

like feeling so overwhelmed to getting

to a place where

you use the the knowledge and you know

you you actually make the choices to

to first of all let me say i just read

this morning and it applies to what

you’re talking about and i think it’ll

help some people

i actually read it yesterday i went back

and read it again this morning

when we ask see we ask the wrong

questions a lot of time

like why did this happen to me right

is not a good question you’re not

you’re not ever going to get an answer

that you’re going to like yeah with that

the question should be what should my

response be

to what’s happened to me yeah it’s not

like why did this happen to me but god

how do you want me to respond

because that’s so hard no you can’t even

do you can’t even do that that’s not

even a wise statement okay

keep talking all right

no

that’s the biggest excuse that people

use

yeah and there’s a scripture that says

the things that i have commanded you are

not too difficult for you to do

so god is not going to tell us to hear i

hear you right now

god’s not going to tell us to do

something that’s too hard for us to do

the bible shows that he

that he won’t if he if god is leading

you to do or not to do something

then you can do it but we even fool

ourselves with that thinking it’s just

too hard

yeah i just can’t do it just too hard

like i didn’t exercise for years and

years and years and my husband’s been

exercising

the whole time we’ve been married he’s

like so amazing when it comes to

discipline it’s just like annoying

and he would tell me you know

you need to work out you need to

exercise you need to work out you’d feel

so much better

you know and so

i deceived myself by telling myself

i didn’t have time i was too busy i just

i don’t have time with all this work i’m

doing how can i write these books and do

all these conferences and

come up with all these messages and now

you expect me to work on meaning you

know

and we get like that when we don’t want

to do something it’s like we

we start feeling like people are

demanding something out of us and

they’re

pressuring us and uh

finally one day i looked at myself in

the mirror and i think i was about in my

early 60s 62 something and i thought

what kind of problem

[Laughter]

houston we got a problem

[Laughter]

of course i wasn’t fully clothed and so

i

i just saw man it’s going the wrong

direction

things that used to be here are now here

are now

yeah and i felt like god just spoke to

my heart

and just very simply said to me if you

don’t

start doing this now

you’re not going to be strong for the

last third of your journey of what i’ve

called you to do

yeah and that was the best thing to say

to me because

nothing is more important to me than

finishing yeah

what god’s called me to do yeah i mean

that

i have a passion to do that that

drives me in a right way i mean i’m

motivated by that

and so i thought well okay i’ll

i’ll go i’ll get a trainer i’ll go to

the gym and when i told dave he laughed

oh he just he

said oh yeah that’ll last about a week

and i said

you just wait and see he said exactly

what he needed to say for you to do it

he

did it so by the time i actually made

the appointments that got there he

decided he wanted to go too

it’s amazing how i found the time that i

was positive before that i didn’t have

and when it comes right down to it

and this is just straightforward but we

make

time for what’s important to us that’s

really true and so if spending time with

god is important to us

we will make time for it spending time

with our kids

is important to us we will make time for

it

and making time for exercise right

you’ll find it and things will start

looking up at so many ways

everything will be higher than it was

before

yes you know you like it then when you

start to get the compliments and you do

have more energy and you feel better and

everybody doesn’t have to hire a trainer

and go to the gym

there’s lots of ways to exercise i know

you like to play tennis and you you hike

and you know i don’t want to play tennis

our hike i mean i’d much rather go to

the gym than to go on a hike

to me like i don’t want the dirt the

bugs the leaves

a lot of people love to love to walk and

i’ve got a story about that too but i

don’t want to tell too many stories i

want to i want

to get your questions so back to what

you ask about how do you get from there

to there well you are

you know the answer you get yeah you got

to make a decision

yeah and then you you have to do what’s

hard

you know that’s a huge statement right

there yeah do what’s hard

what god spoke to me out of out of

galatians is

says be not weary in well-doing for in

due time you shall reap if you faint not

yeah see when you’re doing what’s right

when it feels right

you’re not growing

but when you do what’s right when it’s

hard for you

or when you’re not getting the right

result like you said well i’ve done this

and you know i’ve done everything right

and

look at what’s happened to me well

but continuing to do what’s right even

though you’re not getting the right

results

yeah you know like how many people try

tithing and if it’s not working in two

weeks then they go back to not doing it

yeah

and i mean dave and i had some rough

lean

financial years and i remember telling

god i’m gonna do this

yeah until you come back to get me if i

never

see we can’t just do what god wants us

to do

because

we feel like it or because we get a

right result

i think that’s a real problem we don’t

we don’t just say well i’m going to do

this to get the right result

i’m going to do it because i love god

and that’s what he told me to do yeah

that’s so helpful that’s so good

and and honestly the moment i pulled

myself out of my feelings

and how i felt and just did what i

needed to do

i honestly started feeling better right

sure your feeling

your feelings follow your decisions yeah

it’s good but if you let your decisions

follow your feelings

right you’ll be in trouble it sounds

like wisdom really is

that like in the in between part like

the uncomfortable part so i’m deciding

today to do something that is

uncomfortable and goes against

what my flesh wants because i i see what

i

what i’m working towards i see that

promise god has for me or i see

so it’s that in between hard part that

and you have you have other examples

around you

we all know people while we’re still

making our journey that have made theirs

and you can look at them and see i can

see that this works

yeah in your life you know we we admire

the people who have already done the

hard part

and have the result sometimes foolishly

we’re jealous of them which is really

silly because you can’t

you know you can’t want what somebody’s

got if you don’t want to do what they

did to get it yeah that’s true

just uh kudos to you ginger that you i

am walking that out because of you so

right now

because of a situation i’m going through

you’ve already been through it

you’ve shared you’ve shared your

experience

and you shared how you it was hard but

you you guys made the right choices

and now look where you are so that gives

me hope that i can keep making those

right hard choices to get to

the promise and that is our our

testimony really is our life

absolutely it’s the victories that we

have

and we give the glory to god you know

it’s not we can’t do anything just by

willpower

plus god i’m going to go do this you

know you got to have god’s grace

and uh every

time before i go to work out i ask god

to give me the grace to do it

because and there’s a lot of days i

don’t want to go

you know yeah and you do it anyway yeah

and i’m another

13 14 years on the other side of when i

started so

and you look good you do and it was

funny to me how you like

yeah when i was 62 i started my i’m like

man she looks good you know like i think

that’s so encouraging so

just think if you didn’t even share or

if you

succumbed to your feelings even when you

first started ministry

to even share your testimony which a lot

of people weren’t

yeah nobody was talking nobody was

talking about yeah nobody was talking

about that stuff then

look at all the people that you’ve been

in influenced and impacted and

been even i know for all of us like such

a

man i have to give god the credit for

that because i i look back and i think

how did i have the nerve

yeah to stand up on a platform in front

of thousands of people

and tell the details of my abuse

how many people needed to hear that it

could only be the grace of god that

enabled me to be

bold enough to do that well along those

lines

let me ask about this too because you

had to use wisdom in doing that

you don’t do something like that without

the holy spirit leading you

right yeah and and knowing that that’s

what you’re supposed

to do right jay has shared very openly

about her divorce and everything that

you’ve been through this past

year and you had to use wisdom and what

you have and

have not shared and right erin’s also

talked about some difficult things that

she’s been going through without sharing

all the details

because it’s not the time yet right for

her to do that is that fair to say

very much so using wisdom in what we

say what we don’t what we share and

how we allow god to use it yeah that’s

not always an easy thing to know

and i even tell people like sometimes

people say hey listen i

i know so and so or this young girl or

whatever that’s

been through the same thing you have do

you think your testimony will

help her and i i prefer them to listen

to it first

and make sure that the person’s ready

for it yeah because

the thing that got me started towards

seeking healing was

i started reading a book about a woman

who had had the same thing happen to her

and man when i started reading that i

mean all this rage and i mean this

all these feelings started pouring out

of me because i had not faced it

i had just shoved everything down and so

i don’t

i mean you’re right i don’t even want

anybody to listen if they’re not

ready yeah to do some of the hard stuff

because

there’s no there’s no magical

answer no magic wand that you can wave

over somebody that has been deeply

wounded emotionally and needs healing i

mean

it takes confronting issues and

being truthful with yourself and taking

responsibility for where you’re at

even though where you’re at is not your

fault

you have to stop blaming if you’re ever

going to

go forward so yeah that’s all hard stuff

but there is so much help

in scripture through the holy spirit

helping us to know

how to do these things and so when when

this

wisdom comes it’s not always exactly a

yes or no clear answer so often it’s

the gentle guidance of the holy spirit

walking through us

and and sometimes pulling us back when

we’re starting to go

on a path that he doesn’t want us to let

me ask you about some of those other

questions

the everyday questions that people have

that they’re looking for wisdom on right

so

some are yes or no some are bigger how

to things but

you know there are questions like do i

marry this person

or you know do i take this job

how do you seek wisdoms for the wisdom

for those types of big decisions in your

life

well obviously there’s practical things

to think about do i take this job

okay is it do i have a job already

or do i have no job if i have no job and

somebody’s offering me a job

that one’s looking pretty good that

one’s looking pretty good you know i

might need to take that yeah

and if it turns out not to be the right

one then i i look for something else but

if i already have a job and i’m just

wanting to make a

a move to you know come up i mean you

look at things like distance how far am

i going

drive so practical questions yeah you

you ask yourself

things i remember uh

darlene check the worship leader from

australia love darlene

she i was asking her one time

because for a long time i just i said

yes to almost

everything that anybody asked me to do

until i about killed myself and then i

knew that i had to start

saying no and you know anybody who asks

you to come and do something for them

they don’t want to hear no

and you don’t you don’t want to hurt

people’s feelings you don’t you don’t

want them to think that you think you’re

too good to come and do their event or

whatever it is and so

i knew i needed to start making some

decisions but

you know i love it all so it’s like

what do i say no too and i asked her i

said how do you decide

what to say yes to and what to say no to

and she just gave me the best piece of

advice she said i think through

everything it’s going to take for me to

go do it

how how how long is the plane ride going

to be

is it some am i going to have jet lag

really bad when i get there

is that going to take me two weeks to

recover how long is it going to take me

to get back

you know what uh just just all kinds of

practical questions like that

so in making those decisions yeah you

have you think through what what

what’s this going to mean you know yeah

i mean somebody can take a job where

they’re going to make another

say 100 a month but are they going to

put out more for child care

are they going to spend more on gas are

they going to be required to wear a

different kind of wardrobe than what

they own how much are they going to have

to spend on clothes to be able to do

that

so you can you can’t just say oh yes

yeah

you know you need to think about it the

same way with getting married first of

all

is the person a believer you know so

many people think they’re going to marry

an unbeliever and change them when they

get married

and it’s not going to happen that’s not

scriptural is it yeah i mean

dave took me on and god

he deserved it though because he prayed

for god to give him somebody that needed

help and he got me

and i i did believe in jesus but i

didn’t i didn’t know

a thimble full of anything all i knew

how to do was throw fits till i got my

way

and so you’ve also said in making those

decisions

how important it is to follow peace yeah

follow peace know that

you know a lot of times i think god

speaks to us

by just a knowing i think that’s what

that still small voice is

i don’t think it’s always a voice voice

like we think

of a voice i think it’s just you just

if you get quiet and still yeah you know

we’re we’re not as dumb as we like to

pretend that we are sometimes you know

it’s like we

especially people that have been in the

word you know for a while i mean i got

married when i was 18.

and i wasn’t a practicing christian i’d

been born again when i was nine

but i didn’t know anything i didn’t know

anything about the word

and i knew

that i was making a mistake marrying

that guy yeah down deep inside

i i knew it but i was so afraid that i

would never have anybody

yeah i thought nobody would ever want me

because i’d been abused

that i desperate people do dumb things

and so i was desperate and i did

something that i knew

down deep inside yeah wasn’t right

and so people know let’s talk about

for moms out there who are listening a

little bit

wisdom and raising their children jay’s

raising a teenager

yes lord lord help me aaron

is raising young children and honestly

i’m still raising adults because you

don’t ever stop

i started to say mine moved out of the

house but i don’t think they ever really

left

any questions along those lines what

what types of things

do you crave wisdom for all of it i just

honestly feel like i’m making it up most

days

sometimes i’ll tell them that i mommy

what about this i honestly have no idea

so let’s just try it but like sometimes

i don’t have a lot of time to listen for

the

for god’s peace because i just have to

decide things or

this year has been really challenging

because of of covid

and so they’re able to go to school in

person but they have to wear masks and

there’s there’s a lot of rules

upon them that we’re not used to and so

having wisdom to navigate how do i

how do i show my kids that this is it’s

gonna get better

and this isn’t normal but make them feel

like they’re safe and

this everything we’re still happy and

everything’s gonna be fine but

also acknowledging this is different how

do i

any wisdom you know what i think about

parenting

if anybody could raise four kids

that turned out like mine did

it shouldn’t have been me because i had

no good example matter of fact i had a

very bad example

and i marvel that my children are all

born again serving god

good marriages and

we have a tight-knit family

and i believe that if you believe in god

that he will give you the grace to raise

your children

that’s good and i think a lot of the

things that you give answers to that you

wonder whether or not it’s right

you need to trust more that god

is giving you you know what you need to

say

it’s not like you don’t care and don’t

love your kids and you know you care

about them you love them you pray for

them

and so and you know when we love god and

we want his will

sure we make mistakes but god loves us

so much he’ll take that mistake and

somehow work it into our life to where

we learn

something from it that actually ends up

being a benefit in our life

later on it makes me think of that verse

um lean

you’re trusting in god and leaning on

his understanding and not on my own

so even if i mess up i’m trusting him

he’s going to make that path straight

so probably even so for my kids right

that’s exactly right and you know

when i raise kids we i i get kind of

amused now all the parenting classes

that people have in the parenting books

and the parenting seminars and

we had one book it was dr spock

the thing was about this thick and it if

you wanted to know anything about how to

you know do anything with your kids it

covered

all these different things it could be

medical things and

all these different things i mean we had

no help we had god we didn’t i didn’t

know what i was doing

i i’m so grateful the things that you

are explaining

are exactly what i experienced because

it was being in the word really all of

my life

that taught me things that i didn’t know

i was asking for

does that make sense and you knew things

you didn’t know you knew exactly

because when the need came yeah i had

the foundation

of god’s word to help me make the right

decisions and be guided and like you

said still make so many mistakes

that god’s grace is still covering and

would cover but

the the more that you can be in his word

the more wisdom you’re gaining all the

time and you don’t even realize it for

the situation that will come up six

months later yeah

yeah it’s good and sometimes you can

have a child that

is going to act up or act out or be

rebellious and

and it’s not something you did

you know yeah they make their own

choices i mean yeah i mean sometimes you

know yes

it’s because of what parents have done

but not all the time i mean you just

have some kids that just

i don’t care if everybody else is going

to go right they’re going to go left

and you know you get a strong-willed

child you have to

have to learn how to deal with them a

little bit differently yeah i was gonna

um just ask because one of the questions

i had had was about letting go

um like in general like you

i don’t think really anyone likes to

feel like they’re still holding on to

things

some people probably do but i sure don’t

like i want to let go

and then as we’re talking about children

with my daughter she’s she’s 17

and i i know that i i

will i believe i’ve done my a pretty

good job

you know at raising her up to this point

you know

um great great girl we can also vouch

for that

you have to you are she’s a good she’s a

good she’s awesome yeah she’s a great

girl and

loves the lord but um she and i

think very differently and i’ve i’ve

tried to be one of these like

millennial parents that allow her to

think differently

you know but i want to let because she’s

i’m trying

you know because you have this idea in

your head of how you kind of can see how

your kid you know you see their gifts

and talents and like oh i believe she

could do this and do that

but she’s out of phase now she’s a

senior in high school

and um now i’m like okay what are we

doing next you know

yeah and she’s so chill and like mom i

might just go to like

you know like a jesus school or

something to just

spend time with jesus i’m like is that

going to make you any money you know so

but i want to be able to like give her

that

encouragement but also let go to the

point where i’m like god i trust you

with her future and trust that you’ve

given her a mind and a

and i’ve done my part you know to trust

that

she’s going to make some good decisions

but without letting too

much go so i i need to well you’re going

to any parent

no matter how old your child is

you’re not going to withhold

an opinion or saying something to them

if you really believe they’re going to

hurt themselves

yeah but you also i mean you just can’t

run your grown kids lives

and you you know she’s 17. so she’s not

grown yet but i’ve got kids that are

three in their 50s and one in their 40s

and so

i usually don’t try to give them much

advice unless they ask me for it

and that was hard for me because i’ve

got a personality that wants to tell

everybody

you know yeah the right way well you

know

you absolutely will ruin your

relationship with them if you do that

because they’re god has created people

to want to

uh we we’ve got 17 year old twin

granddaughters and boy they’re like

they’re wanting to do their thing now

you know and uh you got it you got to

let them

try their wings a little bit you got to

let them sometimes all you can do is say

well i don’t i don’t think that’s wise

but you know

you pray about it you think about it and

you know she’s she’s not an adult just

yet so you still got a little bit of

a little bit of room there but pretty

soon she’s going to be

old enough that you really have to let

her make

her own choices and it’s it’s

challenging it’s hard it’s hard to watch

them make choices sometimes oh yes

that you know are not your decisions it

is it’s so painful and nothing

hurts a mom like their children hurting

you know

like you’d rather you’d rather have it

yourself i wish i could just sometimes

take some of the pain away from her and

i can see her

wanting to make certain decisions and

she’s made a really really big one that

you know that i was just really blessed

that she made the decision

it wasn’t what i wanted her to make but

i was proud of her for making that

decision

okay like that and that’s that was hard

for me it’s like it was a

strange emotion to feel that that that

you know

balance of i am proud of her from using

wisdom

right what was best for her um but it

definitely wasn’t best for me

but but uh i was very proud of her that

is really true because when

when you do start that process of

letting them

use their own wings and you begin to see

the wisdom

and the gifts and the things that god

has put in them it’s a beautiful thing

they’ve done so much better things than

if i would have tried to control

everything it would have

ended up i might have kept them in the

wrong place or in a small box and god

meant

for so much more yeah we never know what

god has in store for our children

all of my kids have always lived real

close to me i’m talking about

around the corner more you know

three minutes away 20 minutes away is

the furthest any one of them’s ever

lived well now one of them’s moving to

utah which is like

1300 miles away and

no i don’t like it but i know it’s the

best thing for him

i know that it’s the right thing yeah

for him and i believe that

it has part to do with his destiny and

might not be what i would have chosen i

would have rather said you know i think

you should do pepta

but here is your plan i’ve written it

out for you

here’s your life i’ve organized it for

you

but you change is not easy like that

yeah you know it’s always it’s always

challenging but the way we look at

change determines whether we’re going to

be able

to navigate it if something’s going to

change

to fight it’s foolish yeah because all

it does is make you miserable

as we as we close out this has been so

great thank you

thank you so much we’re so glad you

stopped by

yes um you’ve been

studying proverbs you’ve written this

book um from

proverbs how we find wisdom so for our

friend right now

who is searching for answers looking for

wisdom

what are what are a few steps that you

would tell them

this is a good process well if it’s

wisdom in a specific area

that you can find scripture on which

i think the bible pretty much answers

it’s not going to tell you what car to

buy or

exactly who to marry but it will give

you guidelines

on who to marry you don’t go buy a new

car if you can’t afford a new car and

it’s gonna

you know so i would go first to the word

i’d pray about it

go first to the word and if you really

if you really want an answer from god

he’ll give you one and if you

the holy spirit is our counselor and

mainly

we should depend on him but there’s also

wisdom in asking somebody else that’s

a strong well-grounded spiritual leader

that you trust

not somebody that’s going to try to run

your life but somebody that you know

can give you a decent piece of advice i

think it’s

i think it’s good sometimes i like to

say to people that ask me for advice

well what do you think you should do

and it’s amazing how many times they

already know what to do they’re just

afraid

to do it yeah and uh so you go to the

word you pray

ask a spiritual leader if that’s what

you feel led to do

and then you you get quiet

try to turn your head off and see what’s

in your heart

what’s what’s really in your heart

and that’s what you got to go with got

to follow your heart

that’s so great thank you very much we

appreciate it

we do have a free online study

called in search of wisdom and so if

anybody wants to dig into that

go to joycemeyer.org talk it out

and you can sign up for that free study

it will come right to you it’s a very

easy way

to get the word of god um in in a way

that will help you with wisdom and help

build that in your life so we encourage

everyone to do that i was going through

it today and it’s fabulous

that was a good book that you wrote yeah

you’re really good at that writing book

stuff

yeah i’ve done a few i hope god

continues to give me the grace

yeah i always think what in the world

can i write on next and then god gives

me something

yeah and we also want to encourage

everybody please subscribe to the

podcast yes

we hope that you’ll join us all the time

and um

you know i can ask joyce right now to

i don’t have to be the one encouraging

everybody to do this i

i know you said before if you’re looking

for a friend group if you want a place

to study this is a great place to do

it you know different people learn

different ways and

some of you may not need this you may

prefer to study on your own

but you know some people really love to

have

a group they like the girlfriend aspect

of different hearing different

viewpoints and so

i think it’s a great place to connect if

that’s the right thing

for you aren’t you glad that god

provides so many different ways for us

to

yeah to learn we all have different

different pathways

and i know i’ve heard a number of women

that just absolutely love this

and so i think it’s i think they’re

doing a good job and

they let me say something once in a

while anytime

it’s a good thing to do yeah well we

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check out some of those back episodes if

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wisdom

from studying together and from what

god’s word tells you

we pray for you we love you and we’re so

grateful

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next time