Destiny is revealed in seasons of confrontation rather than seasons of comfort. It’s hard to know who you are if you’re too busy looking at who you are not. Rather than comparing, classifying, or commending yourself, Lisa encourages you to embrace your uniqueness and allow rivals to bring out the best in you! Watch my full Course on MessengerX: https://app.messengerx.com/en-US/watc…
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Brave women
don’t dare
to compare
comparing will undermine what God has
put before you
there is a hope
and there’s a glory of something more
[Music]
in this session of insights to a life
without rival we’re going to be talking
about living uniquely and a lot of
people don’t understand you can like
think you’re unique because you wear a
cool outfit but actually to be honest
with you the way you look is the least
expressive of actually who you are I
want to tell an incredibly embarrassing
story
um about me so a couple Winters ago and
it wasn’t this winter okay a couple
winners ago I like wandered out in my
flannel pajamas and my fluffy robe and
my fluffies little slippers and the sun
was just coming up and I went over to my
espresso machine and I made myself this
amazing drink that I wish I could make
for everybody it was I steamed steamed
chocolate almond milk and then I have
espresso and then cinnamon and cayenne
pepper and raw chocolate and whipped
cream and I just sat down on the sofa
and I was getting ready to do a devotion
when I made this stake of turning on my
cell phone and I happen to look at
Twitter and I noticed this like
reoccurring theme on Twitter people I
know were all like you know adding other
people that I don’t know and they’re all
like oh thank you so much for making me
part of your list thank you so much for
nominating me as one of the top 100
women ministers and I was like there’s a
there’s a list with the top 100 women
ministers well I had known that there
had been the top 10 the top 25 so I
thought top 100 I’m gonna probably make
it this time top 100 I am going to be on
the list and so I began to look and I
began to try to find the list and and I
see this list and I began to scan and
when you have the last name it starts
with the B you know pretty fast whether
you’re on the list or not and I was not
on the list and I was I was just like so
upset I was like oh my gosh I didn’t I
didn’t make the list and so I go running
like a fluffy tornado into John’s office
and John’s reading his Bible I’m like I
didn’t get on the last man I’m in my 50s
I’m never gonna make the list I’m never
going to be out so fast I still did he’s
like what are you talking about and I
was like
I said top 100 and I’ve never made it
and I’m gonna die soon and I’m I’m not
and he’s like and I said and John people
that translate my books into Spanish
made the list people that I’ve mentored
made the list it’s like they on purpose
said let’s not put Lisa on the list
people I know everybody I know is on the
list except for me and he was like Lisa
I just don’t feel like you’re in the
spirit right now
and I said John there’s something at the
end of this list
that says
if you feel like somebody should have
been on the list and wasn’t put on the
list you can add them John do you want
to add me to the list he’s like I am not
adding you to the list I was like why
why wouldn’t you add me to the list he’s
like I’m not doing that and he’s like I
feel like there’s some scriptures you
need to read right now and he started to
quote me some scriptures which I am
going to unpack later I was like no I am
not reading those scriptures I have the
scriptures memorized I am not doing it
so it was it was really cold outside but
I went outside anyway and I called my
friend I called Chris Kane and I said
Chris you cannot believe okay I know I’m
wrong but I’m really upset about this
list and she was like am I on this I
said of course you’re on the list
everybody’s on the list except for
except for me and she’s like why do you
care about this it’s easy for you to say
why do you care about this because
you’re on the list Christine if you were
on those you would care about this list
and she was like so we went through this
whole thing and I could tell Christine
was kind of like hey I’m on the
elliptical right now and I feel like you
need to be on your knees and I’m not I’m
not gonna you don’t call Chris if you
want sympathy and so
so I so I went back into my house and I
was like okay you
know I have more followers on Twitter
than this person that made the list
maybe I’ll just make a list maybe I’ll
make a list of the top 100 and leave her
on the list maybe that she would like
that and so I began to think about what
I put on this and and the Holy Spirit
was like okay no you are not making a
list then I started thinking yeah you
know what I’m not going to make a list
because lists are wrong lists are evil
let’s make some people feel less than
this was a bad thing but then he said to
me but would you think the list was
valid if you were on it
it’s like I probably would have I
probably would have thought the list was
a good thing I probably would have
retweeted it okay I’m putting myself in
time out so I went into my room I
kneeled down now this all lasted maybe
15 to 20 minutes and I went down I was
like okay God I’m sorry I’m being
ridiculous I I wish I didn’t care about
this but I do and I’m sorry and stupid
and please forgive me so you know I come
back out I apologize to my husband I
text Chris came I you know congratulate
the people that are on the list because
that’s just what you need to do and then
I you know went through my day and at
the end of the day I believe Gabby sent
something home for me she was like
you’ve got something kind of random or
one of my boys brought it home and
I was made
a plastic doll
so the day that I didn’t make the list
I was awarded this
plastic lucite trophy of me and when I
saw this first of all I’m never wearing
white jeans again on the platform
I saw this I was like that is ridiculous
and God was like now you’re a plastic
doll does that make you happy I was like
no so I took a picture of the doll and I
was like Christine you know what you may
have made the list but I am now plastic
doll me and Mother Teresa and a couple
other people were made into plastic
dolls and Christine was like I want one
I was like no you don’t it’s
way my husband I want to throw it away
he would not let me throw it away it’s
behind his computer so that anytime I
Dare to Compare or classify myself or
compete he brings out the plastic doll
and the truth is this is a very
embarrassing one-dimensional thing which
I’m now going to put away but the truth
is that there’s nothing
that any human can say over our life
that can affirm us the way God Alone can
affirm us and sometimes God will allow
us to be on the outside
feeling like we are looking in
so that we step back
and go inside
and look for him
because too many people are looking
for what other people can give them Tim
Keller said we want someone of ultimate
Glory loving us not just love in general
what we need is this ultimate Assurance
of Who We Are
ultimate Assurance of our worth we need
someone like that loving us not a list
not Facebook likes not fans Not retweets
not reposts
we need someone we think the world of
thinking the world of us
we need the praise
of the praiseworthy
which is God
but comparison definitely has a pull to
it or am I the only woman that’s ever
gone to the beach and looked at another
woman and asked her husband are my
thighs bigger or smaller than hers Okay
it definitely has a bull on it okay we
still do it in my 50s I’m so sorry but
but it will move you away
from your truest Center
it will move you away from your truest
self by either puffing you up
or putting you down
but it will not affirm you in your
strength and then you’ll be off balance
and off kilter and when you’re off
balance and off kilter you’ll begin to
say things and see things that you’ll be
embarrassed about later
second Corinthians 10 12 warns us
not that we dare this is Paul talking
about he and his laborers talking
collectively not that we dare to
classify or compare ourselves with some
of those who are commending themselves
but when they measure themselves by one
another and compare themselves with one
another they are without understanding
there are three C’s mentioned here
classify compare
and commend
learn from me don’t do it all three of
those classifying comparing and
self-accommodation
are
anti-productive they are destructive
they will work against everything that
you want so what happens when we
actually classify classifying is
actually defined as putting people in
their place
I don’t know if anybody’s ever done that
to you
but when they’ve put you in a place that
actually doesn’t matter what you say you
have to work really hard to climb back
out of that and once they’ve already
decided that they put you in that place
they’re not going to want to let you out
of that place because it’s easy to
classify people it’s easier to classify
than to deal with what really might be
they put them in their place by grading
by sorting by branding by ranking
or by my favorite
pigeonholding pigeonholing Marin Webster
describes as is what is used to describe
a neat category that usually fails to
reflect actual complexities
life is messy
and there is poop in pigeonholes if you
shove a pigeon in a hole it is going to
poop and it is going to shed those are
not clean places those are not places
that you want to be in and everybody’s
life is messier than you know
and everybody’s life is more complex
than you know and that’s why God tells
us don’t even try to judge it until the
day like you’re the you have no ability
to see what is in their pigeonhole
and you don’t want to be classified
because when you’re classified
you’re labeled
and when you’re labeled
you’re limited
labels will always be used to limit
people I remember a wise man told John
Meyer a really long time ago do not let
them label you because once they label
you then they can disqualify you
people can cut out what they think that
they have labeled
it is an act of depersonalizing people
and God does not do that he does not
label us
second C is comparison
there Roosevelt said that comparison is
the thief of joy
you think you’ve got a great husband
until you see like some movie husband
you’re like wow my husband never does
any of that for me well you thought he
was great at the beginning of the movie
but now at the end of the movie he’s
like cuddling you’re like pulling your
hand away like why aren’t you more like
that you know because I said what just
happened you compared and it stole your
joy it’s it’s a thief of joy and again
we’re only limited to what we know or
what other people want us to see you go
on Instagram you’re like oh my gosh my
house is a pigsty you know I mean you
see all these different pictures and you
begin to compare yourself
but it’s not a true reality
Brave women
don’t dare
to compare
comparing will undermine what God has
put before you
there’s a hope
and there’s a glory of something more
but this world will pull you down to its
comparison
and it will want you to climb to the
Pinnacle
of popularity
but Fame just depersonalizes people
until everybody thinks they are your
public property to insult slander or
worship
and because worship is reserved for God
alone if you fall at all they will pull
you down hard
what is this mountain that we Are
Climbing that is constructed of fans and
likes and posts and repeats it’s called
popularity
it is called friendship with the world
because the truth is being popular with
people
does not equate to being popular with
God
goes for a pure heart not for a
popularity contest so we don’t classify
we don’t compare
but we also don’t commend ourselves
yeah we can celebrate growth all right
that’s awesome yay I can look I mean I
can look back at my journals and say who
was this woman who was this woman yay
I’m so glad I’m growing but I know that
probably 10 years from now look back at
the journal I wrote now and say who is
that woman oh she’s going through
menopause but just just different things
we we can celebrate where we’ve been
to this extent of God’s faithfulness
what do we have
that he’s not given us
what do we have what gift what talent
what resource what what do we have that
he’s not given us when you self-commend
yourself you detract from his generosity
and you detract from what he wants to do
when we begin to measure ourselves by
unrighteous measurements then we lose
our way whenever I begin to look at
other things in the natural to measure
myself my connection with God’s slips
I’m not saying I lose my salvation but
my connection with the Divine and the
Eternal begins to slip and I lose my
perspective one of the scriptures my
husband gave me was John 5 44 and it
says how do you expect to get anywhere
with God
when you spend all your time jocking for
position with each other
ranking your Rivals and ignoring God
when we Define people by their temporal
we lose the ability to speak into their
Divine destiny
rivalry will rob you unless you learn
how to turn it around and use it for
your benefit I don’t know if you know
this right now maybe you’re like a
really greater Christian than me and you
don’t see anybody as a rival
but whether you see other people’s
arrival or not there are going to be
people that see you as a rival
there are going to be people that
actually God will put in your life
to provoke you
because a rival is given to us to either
best us or bring out the best in US
who made Moses famous
pharaoh
Pharaoh God said that he raised up
Pharaoh as a rival
to give Moses platform and to make his
name known throughout the Earth
what happened with David obscure little
Wilderness Shepherd boy
rival gave him position Goliath
but winning a battle
does not a king make
so God gave him another rival
Saul
and Saul was the one that refined
David’s character
see everybody wants the anointing of God
but they forget that God anoints Us in
the presence
of our enemies
God watches how you interact with rivals
and he says I can anoint that or I
cannot anoint that because if I anoint
that she’ll destroy that other person
he waits until that rivalry is settled
in your heart I’m going to tell you at
this point in my life I’ve actually
learned to thank God for my rivals have
a young girl you know there’s there’s
certain young girls I get to meet when I
say young girls she’s probably 40 but
they’re younger than me
um that I love and they’re they’re
building a beautiful amazing amazing
church and I you know I had got had the
privilege of coming and speaking to her
at their church and and then I called
her like a week and a half later just to
see how she was doing and she began to
tell me
about this person talking horrible about
her she said Lisa they they said this
about me and then they said this about
me and they said this about me at this
church and they said this about this
leader and and shut this door here and
it shut this door here and shut this
door here and I I was listening to her
and I just started getting excited I was
like oh my gosh God is setting you up
for something amazing if you under this
much attack God is getting ready to do
something incredible in your life and
she was like what I mean I actually
think she wanted me to call these people
and be like that’s not true that’s not
no no I know her no that’s not true and
I said no no no you just stand back
and you just be quiet because this
person every door they try to shut on
you God’s gonna throw open a door for
you somewhere else and you need to
understand that every door we shut on
other people we end up making our world
smaller
Rivals can be the best gift
I know that doesn’t make sense but the
truth is I’ve learned more about myself
from my enemies
than I have from my friends
my enemies have the ability to expose
more in me than friends ever will
friends want to give you shelter friends
want to call make phone calls friends
want to punch people for you
friends want to take you in
when there’s a storm in your life Rivals
want to lock you out and the great thing
is when you get locked up by a rival you
find out God meets you there
well David was running from crazy King
Saul
he met up with God in the wilderness in
such a way that God could develop
something in David to an overwhelming
level
something called Grit they did this big
test when I was writing this book I
researched it about called the grit
Factor they discovered that what
determines whether somebody succeeds or
not is not their education it’s not
their money it’s not who they know it’s
how gritty they can be they began to do
these studies when they had people
coming into West Point and the Air Force
and stuff like that and they’ve decided
that the grit Factor was the number one
predeterminate of whether they would
succeed in life or not not Talent not
connection not gifting grit and you
don’t get grit from friends you get grit
from rivals and so if we can be wise
women
we can flip this grit Factor thing and
begin to understand that God has a
purpose even for our Rivals and that’s
why we can bless those that curse us
that’s why we can do good to those who
despitefully use and abuse us because
they’re actually working a deeper
stronger thing in our lives than we
could ever work in ourselves the
playwright Edward Burks captured this
Dynamic this way he said he that
struggles with us
strengthens our nerves and sharpens our
skills
our antagonist is our helper
I don’t know where you are in life
I don’t know what’s coming against you I
don’t know who you see as a rival right
now and there are very real Rivals part
of that is because when we’re looking at
women it’s a very small playing field
it’s a very small playing field
don’t let your Rivals push you aside
don’t let them make you act like them
let your Rivals push you up
go deeper into the heart of God
develop a grit Factor
answer to him
say I will not back down I will not cave
I will stand strong I will learn the
lessons that I need to learn I will walk
worthy of the anointing so that when God
gives me position I won’t use it to
execute my judgment I will use it to
execute God’s justice in Jesus name
amen
you know we’ve been talking about the
three C’s the three C’s that you should
not dare to do you don’t dare to compare
yourself you don’t dare to classify
yourself and you do not dare to commend
yourself you do not want to be limited
by labels you do not want to live in a
time period where we need your
creativity comparing yourself with
things that already are when God has
something on your life that has never
been seen before but here’s the thing to
get rid of that comparison competition
jealousy thing in your heart we’re gonna
have you do something I want you to pick
out that person that you actually really
admire but you think I can never be here
so I’m gonna have to pull her down I
want you to pick out that person and
instead of comparing yourself
unfavorably with her I want you to
actually celebrate her I want you to
give her a phone call I want you to tell
her what you admire about her I want you
to be intentional with this because see
the truth is you commending and
celebrating her is not going to make you
less we often think that opening the
door for others is closing them on our
world but that is not true you’re going
to be generous with your words because
the world of the generous gets larger
and larger and God wants to enlarge your
world so you’re going to celebrate other
people and when you celebrate other
people God’s Gonna open up your life
when you tell other people what you
admire about them you’re going to build
relationships that are going to build
your lives