I heard your questions, and now it is time to answer! Welcome to my “Loving Fearlessly” Course. I am so excited to start off this new year sharing wisdom and advice with you all. None of us are perfect, but here are more ways to love fearlessly in relationships and in marriage! #lisabevere #lisabeverestudy #lisabeverecourse #lisabevere #lisabevereadamant #christianstudy #onlinecourses #truth #whatistruth #lisabeveresermons #godmothers #lisabeveresermon #johnbevere #johnandlisabevere #livingfearlessly #marriageadvice #marriagegoals ______________ Chapters: 0:00 – Lesson Teaser 0:20 – Welcome to Loving Fearlessly 0:52 – Top 5 Marriage Advice 3:47 – Forgive Quickly 5:46 – Laugh a Lot 7:10 – Honor One Another 9:39 – Fight For Your Relationship 11:05 – Recap ______________ Make a one-time donation to help fund our livestreams, content, events, and more: https://messengerinternational.org/
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what is your top five pieces of advice
to anybody in their marriage early late
wherever they’re at and this is the top
five welcome to loving fearlessly this
is my home and I want to feel like you
and I are sitting across the sofa
talking to one another I had the
privilege of having so many people
participate they said we have questions
that we would love to have you talk
about or answer if we had an hour
together you with you this is the one
thing or this is the two things and in
this session we’re going to be talking
about another way to love fearlessly I
got a great question said what is your
top five pieces of advice to anybody in
their marriage early late wherever
they’re at and this is is the top five
marriage advice first and foremost love
fearlessly this is what we’re talking
about we’re talking about love
fearlessly this is the overarching theme
what do you mean love fearlessly well
perfected love has no fear so I’m asking
you to actually look at your life and
begin to separate love and fear just
going to tell you in my own life John
and I have been married 37 years and
there’s one thing I regret I wish I
would have loved my husband more
fearlessly early on I wish I wouldn’t
have held back and you think what what
do you mean well see I came from a very
broken family my parents were divorced
not once but twice and so I didn’t know
what family looked like I had never seen
it modeled and so I felt like kind of in
the back of my mind I always thought all
men will one day leave all men will one
day disappoint don’t give all of your
heart because if you give all of your
heart and they leave you’ll have nothing
left your life will be empty it’ll be
devastated it’ll be utterly broken so
you know what I did with my husband I
loved him just a portion I wasn’t all in
I was like you know what I love you 70%
now that didn’t mean I wasn’t nice to
him but somehow he knew that I wasn’t
giving my all to him and so I reserved
some pushed back a little bit was always
the first one to start patting him when
we hugged to push him away and he said
to me you know Lisa I’m not your dad I’m
not going to leave I don’t know how long
we are going to have to be married
before you actually believe me that I’m
not looking for a reason to leave you
and I looked at him and I thought
that is so unfair but I also knew he was
right he said Lisa if we need to wait to
we’re 70 and you turn around and you
look at me and say oh you’re still here
I expected you to leave 20 years ago
he’s like I’m okay with that but we are
going to miss an awful lot of great
times in the interim so I said all right
you’re completely correct and I got on
my knees and I said God I don’t know how
to love fearlessly I don’t know how to
do this I need you to help me and you
know what God wants me to love
fearlessly and God wants you to love
fearlessly and so I’m going to unack
that a little deeper in the next section
next thing so first love fearlessly and
this is part of loving fearlessly
forgive quickly forgive quickly I have
learned that the longer it goes to
resolve something the more reasons I
have for not resolving it’s grows in my
mind it gets bigger you know I would
when John I first married we’d go to bed
I would still be mad at him and he would
like do ridiculous things like pull off
the bed spread stand up turn on all the
lights and say we are going to work this
out before we go to sleep we’re not
supposed to let the sun go down in our
wrath and I would say you know what we
started fighting but it was already dark
I have until sundown tomorrow and he’d
be like that’s not scriptural I was
looking for reasons to hold on and to
not forgive quickly so I remember I
would have bad dreams about him that
night we’d have a fight I’d be like you
were even mean in my dreams he’d be like
I was not in your dreams I don’t know
what you’re talking about and I would
carry into my next day and I would be on
edge forgive quickly that doesn’t mean
you’ll have it all figured out that
doesn’t mean you’ll have it all resolved
it just means you’ve taken the first
step forgive quickly decide I you know
that really hurt me but I’m going to
forgive you I’m going to believe the
best in you I don’t know how many of you
have ever gone to God and said I am so
sorry he has never said to me Lisa I
can’t forgive you right now I’m going to
put this on hold for uh three months and
then you can come back when I feel like
you have paid enough no he always is
quick to forgive me and what I sense in
my spirit is that God says to me Lisa I
believe you don’t want to do this I
believe you want to change and I forgive
you so believe the best forgive quickly
forgive quickly so love fearlessly
forgive quickly laugh a lot you need to
laugh a lot life is utterly ridiculous
you need to have joy in your life you
need to learn to laugh a lot you know
one of my favorite scriptures is in the
Psalms and I believe it’s Psalm 128 but
that could be wrong it’s about those
that fear the lord it says there’s
feasting and laughter around the table
why because when we honor God God
creates community and love and laughter
in our lives he says he said because you
wouldn’t serve me with joy and gladness
he said you’re going to serve your
enemies in fear so we don’t want to
think that God isn’t about laughter
about Joy about family around the table
God wants laughter in your marriage he
wants joy in your marriage John and I
love to laugh together we have
completely different senses of humor he
finds things funny that I don’t think
funny but you know what I think it’s
funny that he finds it funny so it’s
still kind of works so laugh a lot
develop an atmosphere of laugh laughing
with each other not laughing at each
other that’s not going to work for you
so when you can learn to laugh at
yourself you move outside of yourself
next thing honor one another honor one
another honor one another when you’re
together but almost even more important
honor one another when you are not
together I can’t tell you the regret I
have that when I was young and I didn’t
know how to go through a marriage issue
I told way too many people about the
struggles we were in and I Dishonored my
husband now you think well no you were
looking for Solutions I wasn’t going to
the right people see if you’re going to
somebody that can actually help you then
you’re honoring your relationship
because you’re going to somebody that
you can build with but that’s not what I
was doing I was like all men are jerks
can you believe this or maybe I wasn’t
even the one that started it maybe
somebody else was there and they were
talking about the Terrible Things They
were going through with their husband
and I thought well I need to add my
portion of that protect your marriage
with what you say honor your marriage by
going to people who can help you because
I’m going to tell you what happens when
you talk to too many people or people
that AR for both of you then when you
resolve the thing and those people come
back into your world they have a really
hard time seeing your husband the same
way they’re like that guy’s a jerk and
you’re like yeah he was a jerk but he’s
not that person anymore and they’re like
yeah you just don’t know what you’re
talking about so we always want to have
this ability to talk about believing the
best and bringing out the best now if
your husband’s doing horrible things and
he’s threatening your life or breaking
your spirit or there’s something really
unhealthy you don’t honor that you don’t
honor that I’m talking about maybe
you’re annoyed with your husband or
maybe he did this be careful about just
going out with your girlfriends and
having a talk about it so anytime you’re
in danger we want to see you go to
somebody who can make sure you’re safe
so this isn’t what we’re talking about
so we don’t want to compare we don’t
want to compare our husband to other
people’s husband again going back to did
we like it if they’re like hey she
literally looks good she looks like she
takes care of herself and works out you
should work out that’s not honoring a
wife that’s not honoring a wife and when
you compare your husband to somebody
else’s husband it’s also dishonoring I
remember telling my husband John so and
so prays with his wife every day you
never pray with me that was a comparison
thing that had my husband looking worse
so you don’t want to do that so let’s
honor one another and fight for your
relationship rather than trying to prove
you are right see now you can be right
you can push your point and you can be
absolutely right but it’s more important
to be rightly related when you are in a
relationship sometimes if you say you
need to hear me and acknowledge I’m
right see I did that to my husband my
husband would come to me and say what do
you think we should do should we do this
or this I’d be like you need to do this
and he’d be like I think I’m going to do
this I’d be like are you serious he
would do that then I would follow him
around and say you do remember I told
you not to do it you do remember I’m the
one who told you that would be a bad
idea and I thought that John would be
like oh Lisa you are wise and wonderful
you alone are right but that’s not what
happened he pulled pulled away from me
and stopped counseling with me sometimes
you have to actually position people
where together you find the right answer
and you can say it in the right way
being right all the time is overrated
you don’t want to do it you don’t want
to be it it kind of sounds like a smart
elic so we got to actually be women who
are wise and women who are wise aren’t
constantly proving their own state of
wisdom they’re actually drawing other
people into a place of wisdom so I’m
going to go over this again love
fearlessly forgive quickly laugh a lot
honor one another and fight for your
relationship so those are my top five
pieces of advice for your marriage and I
can’t wait to dive deeper into loving
fearlessly in the next
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session
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