I heard your questions, and now it is time to answer! Welcome to my “Loving Fearlessly” Course. I am so excited to start off this new year sharing wisdom and advice with you all. None of us are perfect, but here are more ways to love fearlessly in relationships and in marriage! #lisabevere #lisabeverestudy #lisabeverecourse #lisabevere #lisabevereadamant #christianstudy #onlinecourses #truth #whatistruth #lisabeveresermons #godmothers #lisabeveresermon #johnbevere #johnandlisabevere #livingfearlessly #marriageadvice #marriagegoals ______________ Chapters: 0:00 – Lesson Teaser 0:31 – Managing Marriage in the Wilderness 4:49 – Helping Your Husband Understand You 8:29 – Keys to Longevity in Marriage ______________ Make a one-time donation to help fund our livestreams, content, events, and more: https://messengerinternational.org/
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we have to understand there’s Seasons
there’s seasons and it isn’t you’re
working over here loving life and your
husband’s over here loving life but that
you can love life together his success
is your success and your success is his
success
welcome back to Loving fearlessly in all
of these sessions I hope it’s helping
you in your marriage we had so many
people say if I had an hour with you I’d
want to talk to you about marriage so
these are all focusing on how to love
fearlessly in marriage but the thing I
love is it can prepare you for marriage
and these principles transfer to other
areas so here’s another question I got
how do you manage marriage when you are
in the wilderness and your spouse is
loving life and Ministry okay first of
all my first response when I read this
question I’ll be honest with you is be
like hey be glad you’re not both in the
wilderness because I know there was
Seasons when both John and I were in the
wilderness I remember he went out to
pray and we just had this season of Just
A wilderness in our finances A
wilderness in our marriage A wilderness
in our ministry and we’re just barely
surviving and John goes out to pray and
he was like Lisa I was out praying and
he said yes tell me you there’s going to
be good news cuz I’m feeling just as dry
as he’s feeling I’m thinking why did we
quit we should have stayed where we were
at and he said God showed me like like
dead grass like dead dirt and then he
showed me like short grass and then he
showed me tall grass and he said that
the Tall Grass represented what I would
walk in one day and then he said this
was the preparation season and I was
like are we at the tall grass and he’s
like we’re at the end of the dirt we
were not even in the middle section I
just looked at him and said is that
supposed to encourage me is that
supposed to make me feel better so be
happy that your husband and you are not
both in the Wilderness at the exact same
time because I’m just going to tell you
girlfriend it is not a fun season so I
want to ask you though why aren’t you
loving this life with him cuz when your
husband going through good things that
should also be part of what you’re
enjoying too I’m wondering like what’s
going on do you feel isolated from this
do you feel like maybe you’re home with
kids and and your husband’s like
fulfilling his purpose and call and
you’re being left out or maybe there are
maybe this person that wrote this isn’t
feeling that specifically but maybe they
feel like their spouse’s success is not
their success you know I love my
mother-in-law she raised all of these
amazing kids she never worked a day in
her life and I remember my husband
saying something to her like well but
mommy never worked she said don’t you
say that she said I never brought in
money but I saved money I manage the
money so we have to understand there’s
Seasons there’s seasons and it isn’t
you’re working over here loving life and
your husband’s over here loving life but
that you can love life together his
success is your success and your success
is his success and if you’re comparing
one another’s Seasons see sometimes you
do have seasons in a season you have a
season that feels different while
somebody else is having a season like
this but these are seasons that are good
for us these are seasons of strength so
I just want to challenge you on that
what we hear in the Book of Ecclesiastes
and I’m going to read you I’m going to
read chapter 4: 9-10 it says two are
better than one because they have a good
reward for their toil so you’re both
working you’re both working for if they
fall one will lift up his fellow but woe
to him who is alone when he falls and
has no one to help lift him up your
husband is in a season to lift you up
his success isn’t to push you down it’s
to lift you up so I think he just need
to say what’s going on why do I feel
isolated why do I feel like I’m outside
of it are you blocking yourself are you
not valuing what you’re doing this
season are you blaming somebody else are
you blaming someone for leaving you out
I don’t I don’t have the answer to that
but I want you to enjoy this season
because I believe that God understands
that everything in life is seasonal
that’s what he always does another
question how do you help your husband
understand you and your heart without
creating frustration okay this is
something that is going to have to
happen you’re going to have frustration
this is how you grow a baby will never
learn to walk if he does not become
frustrated with the speed of progress
with crawling so if you’re having a
conversation with your husband it’s
probably going to entail frustration but
allow that frustration to cause you to
grow together so I have found for John
and I some of the things things that
have been really helpful is instead of
me like he says something and it hurts
me and me just getting mad and slamming
around the kitchen and giving him grumpy
faces until finally like are you upset
about something I’m like how could you
not know what I’m upset about you know
what I’m upset about he’s like I have no
idea what you are upset about instead of
taking it to an emotionally charged
place and play a guessing game with my
husband maybe I just kind of Step Back
come into his office
and then again applying those principles
of believing the best and say I don’t
think you meant to intentionally hurt me
but when you said this this is how it
felt to me so that way you’re not saying
you are always so mean to me you are
always hurting me you can’t do that the
guys will shut down on the always they
will shut down on the never just like
you do girls shut down on always and
never because there’s no win there’s no
hope there’s no future so having a
conversation and understanding that
conflict is actually part of growth and
so when you have a conversation with
your husband say um let me I’m going to
try she say I may not I may not I may
need your help on how I’m going to say
this but when you do this I know you
don’t mean it this way but this is how
I’m hearing it is is am I hearing it
right and oh no that’s not high minute
or if it is high minute then you need to
say well we need to talk about that
let’s have some conversation and know
knowing your heart takes time it takes
time it takes time but I think sometimes
the best way to actually reveal our
heart to somebody is to be a safe person
for their heart so the more you let your
husband have safety with the things he
tells you the more he’s going to be
understanding about the things that you
tell him so this is a two-way street her
husband’s heart does safely trust in her
he gives you things you’re trustworthy
you don’t tell your friends you don’t
have an emotional reaction that takes
everything hostage you have a
conversation about it the more
trustworthy you are with what he is
saying saying I believe in the best of
you he can hear you more when you say
that really hurt I know you didn’t mean
that but that really hurt I have a
magnificent daughter-in-law living with
me and uh just recently Jessica had an
opportunity to help John with something
John has been used to living with four
Sons he can yell things everybody get
nobody nobody gets their feelings hurt
and Jessica came down was like I am more
than happy to clear that out of the sink
but I would love it if you said it in a
better tone and John was like absolutely
I can do that see so she wasn’t saying I
don’t like it when you talk to me like
that in a combative way she was saying
I’m more than more than happy to work
with you on this I can hear you better
when you say it like this and I think
sometimes that’s what we can do with our
husband
what are the keys to longevity in
marriage I would return to the five
things I stated earlier that you need to
remember you’re going to love fearlessly
you’re going to forgive quickly you’re
going to forgive quickly you’re going to
laugh a lot you’re going to honor one
another and you’re going to fight for
and then I would say there’s one other
one don’t waste time mourning Seasons
that are past don’t be upset remember 5
years ago when we didn’t have a good
marriage remember remember 10 years ago
when you did this or you said that or I
did this and I said that don’t mourn
what’s behind plan again you can dream
dream late in your marriage too my
husband and I are in a new season we are
in a new season of an empty nest is what
it’s called well we’re going to have to
we’re going to have to dream again we’re
going to have to design again we’re
going to have to do it again I don’t
like too much silence so I thought all
right I don’t have to pour out myself to
my sons the way I used to they have
beautiful Brides that are pouring into
their life so what am I going to do well
I’m going to dream that there’s
daughters that can learn from my
horrible choices who will make great
choices in their marriage that they will
dream that they can have a marriage
maybe they never saw in their parents or
maybe they realize that we’re not really
seeing in movies they can dream to have
a marriage they can design it and they
can do it that’s what I want I’m going
to invite more people into my world in a
different way different seasons look
different but when you waste time
regretting or when you waste time
wishing things were different you’re
just going to waste more time going
forward and you’ll look back and say I
wish we would have made that decision a
year ago two years ago or whatever so
you got to just go ahead and not mourn
your past Seasons a lot
of women they got so good at being moms
and they again forgot that there’s a new
season with grandchildren there’s a new
season with just their husband there’s a
new season of young women looking
towards them and if you’re a young woman
I’m going to keep telling you you need
to find an older woman cuz she thinks
that she doesn’t have anything to give
anymore and you know that she has a lot
to give so I want you to Lean Into The
Wonder of your season and not regret so
so take those five things lean into the
Wonder and having a sense of humor will
always help you lean into the Wonder and
forgetting what is behind and leaning
into a straining for what is ahead that
is how we create a long-term marriage
that we
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love