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this program is brought to you in part
by the partners and Friends of Klo
Dollar
Ministries coming up next on changing
your
world the LIE is if I am approved by
others then I have
value that’s the lie if other people
approve of me then I have a high
self-esteem then I have value you know
where that’s
going the preoccupation with how other
people will view us and seeking their
approval can so consume us that it
becomes an addiction I’m so consumed
about what you think about
me a room filled with Brilliant Minds
women gather to share and learn seeds of
knowledge ready to
bloom ideas blossoming as we
discern experts students leaders alike
each with her own light to shine are you
ready to
[Music]
bloom this is your world so let’s vow to
make it a better
place let every heart that needs to
know you love is here to St oh it’s time
we live a new life oh let us love shine
right in
you we’re Sav by his grace so we Embrace
Your Love
today we are
Chang I’m about to talk about something
that I don’t have to ask you to raise
your hands maybe you don’t know it but
everybody in here here at one time or
another has been impacted and
affected by something called approval
addiction to be this kind of addict
could derail the very call of God that
he has placed on your
life it can also cause mental health
issues it can cause you to be so focused
on the wrong
thing that you find yourself
at a place in your life where you’re
ready to end it
all those irritations those fear of
rejection the depression the heaviness
that most of us
carry it’s rooted in this
deal of being addicted to
approval your
teenagers suffer grossly if they’re not
getting the approval necessary through
social media through the number of likes
and so
forth that I have come to recognize that
our
society is a society
filled with a bunch of
addicts that are
addicted to
validation and to
approval my text for this morning starts
off with showing you a
man who did that 1 Samuel 15 and vers
vers
24 and in 1st Samuel chapter 15 this is
the story where Samuel gave a word of
the Lord to
Saul and he told Saul to destroy and to
kill
everything every animal every person in
the tribe everything was supposed to be
killed and Saul was so addicted to
people
that he chose to do what pleased the
people instead of doing what pleased
God let me show you what happened here 1
Samuel chapter 15 and verse 24 and Saul
said unto Samuel I have sinned for I
have transgressed the Commandment of the
Lord and thy words because I feared the
people and obeyed their
voices he says I have sinned I was
afraid of the people and so I gave in to
them another translation
says one of the things you see here is
that King Saul lost his relationship
with God he lost his kingdom he lost his
relationship with his son
Jonathan the Bible says that Samuel said
because you rejected the Lord the Lord
has rejected
you and
why this is how he explains it he said I
was afraid of the people so I gave in to
them but listen he was the king he had
nothing physically to fear from them
they adored him in fact they some were
actually idolized him as
king he sought their approval so much
that he wouldn’t make a decision he
thought might reap their
disapproval no one had threatened him
he’s the king no one was asking him to
do
anything and at this point it was all in
his
head but what he thought could
happened dominated
him his approval addiction caused him to
act
foolishly and ultimately compromised his
future if you continue to read the story
about
Saul demons that got into his
soul and eventually he
died now look at John chapter
12 lost everything his his his his
entire future
derailed because of approval
addiction John 12: 42 and
43 he says nevertheless among the chief
rulers also many believed on him
but because of the Pharisees they did
not confess him lest they should be put
out of the synagogue 43 for they love
the praise of men more than the praise
of God of course another translation
says many believed in Jesus but they
would not admit it for fear of the
Pharisees so there were a lot of the
leader Jewish leaders that believed in
Jesus but they were afraid to admit it
because they feared what the other
Jewish
Pharisees would say the Bible says that
they were more concerned to have the
approval of man than the approval of
God so when Jesus was here as the living
breathing Messiah I mean he was
compelling nobody nobody would doubt
that he was very compelling many more
believed in him than the ones who
actually you know followed him they
believed his
claims uh then but they wouldn’t follow
him
and why because they were afraid of the
disapproval of the Jews they were more
concerned to have their approval of men
than to have the approval of God and
their approval addiction changed their
Destiny and it cost them their eternity
change their Destiny those who who
believe but wouldn’t follow because of
approval addiction it change their
Destiny approval addiction has
far-reaching
consequences in the moment it lowers our
self-esteem it hinders our witness it
makes God’s plan for us impossible to
carry out because we’re so addicted to
the approval of
others and long term it can cost us
everything and when we seek the approval
of the group we will always find it to
be ficked and
changing security and well-being are
never found in chasing the approval of
the
crowd it steals our Eternal peace and it
robs us of our relationship with
God living for the audience of
one living for the audience of one is
the way to satisfaction it’s the way to
strength it’s the way to significance
and when you can lay your head on your
pillar at night sing that he is
pleased your sleep will be
sweet and your daylight hours are going
to be filled with purpose because when
you go to bed you go to bed knowing that
God approves of
you so that’s an unusual way to give a
text but I wanted to show you that this
is not just you know a therapeutic
sermon this is a serious issue in the
word of
God if you live under a burden of guilt
if you live under a burden of Shame if
you live under a burden of
condemnation feeling insecure feeling
unrighteous feeling
unworthy with a low self-esteem and low
self-worth if you’re having the
excessive need for approval validation
and acceptance from
others you are most likely an addict
addicted to approval
because you fear rejection you fear
judgment you fear disapproval from
others to the point that you try to
avoid rocking the boat at any cost
because of that approval addiction so
let’s get involved in this right now
what is an approval
addict how would you define an approval
addict it’s someone who relies on
approval of other for their
self-esteem and their self value their
worth if you are relying on others and
their approval of you to Value yourself
to have self-esteem to have
self-worth you most likely are addicted
to
approval approval addiction is the
excessive need for approval it’s the
excessive need for validation and
acceptance from
others approval addiction can be very
damaging to a person’s self-esteem and
it can be very damaging to your
self-worth and it can lead to anxiety it
can lead to depression and it can lead
to other mental health issues that’s how
serious this
is and before you’re so quick to say you
don’t have one think about why is it
that you feel so bad when somebody
didn’t approve of your address or
approve of your comment or approve of
your husband or wife that you decided to
marry or approve of the decision that
you made on certain
things I am here this morning to say
don’t believe the lie don’t believe the
lie that in order to feel good about
yourself you have to be approved by
certain
people don’t believe that
lie you do not have to have somebody’s
approval in
order to feel good about yourself
I don’t need somebody’s approval for me
to do what God told me to
do and there’s a lot of approving
there’s a lot of approval addicts in the
pull
pit that I won’t say certain things
because you might not approve of it how
you know that ain’t
me boy
what so the LIE is if I am approved by
others then I have
value that’s the lie if other people
approve of me then I have a high
self-esteem then I have value you know
where that’s
going the preoccupation with how other
people view us and seeking their
approval can so consume us that it
becomes an addiction I’m so consumed
about what you think about me
amen amen I used to go places and preach
and after I preach I I needed to ask
several people how did I do how did you
think they doing what was going on here
I was looking for approval to feel good
about what I what I
preached there were certain people that
I knew and people that I respected and
honored I I was so working hard for
their
approval oh my God what do I have to do
to to get their approval oh they’re not
inviting me to their church because they
don’t approve of me and then I’m working
hard to get somebody’s approve how many
you know you’re working so hard to get
somebody’s approval you’re no longer
thinking about the approval that God has
given you and you’ll find yourself not
carrying out what God wants you to carry
out let me show you a couple of
scriptures here Galatians chapter 1
verse 10 in the NLT Galatians chap 1 and
verse 10 in the NLT this is strong
you know kids want an approval for from
certain gangs or certain people and and
and and if I can get their approval I
have value you want to know why our
society is the way it is right now
because we’re working hard that you know
our value is based on who approves of
me he says in verse 10 Paul is speaking
here and the Apostle Paul said obviously
I am not trying to win the approval of
people amen
amen I mean cuz Paul says some heavy
stuff he’s like obviously you know I’m
not trying to win the approval of
people but I’m trying to win the
approval of
God if pleasing people were my
goal I would not be Christ
servant you can’t make pleasing people
your
goal what your goal should be is the
will of God for your life I want to know
what the will of God for my life is and
then go with me to St John in the NLT St
John chap 5:
41-44 St John chapter 5 and and I’m
sharing all these scriptures at the
beginning because once I get started I
want you to know this is a Biblical
issue as well as a societal
issue it’s big in our
society and I tell you when I say that
the greatest Deliverance you can ever
have is deliverance from people I
absolutely mean that I am so free it
don’t even make no
sense it really doesn’t make any sense
at
all I was in New York in in one of our
major conventions with a flower shirt on
and some loud jeans I
I’m I don’t need somebody’s approval for
for me to wear what I want to wear now
at one time I did at one time I I wore
The Bishop’s collar around my neck it
ain’t nothing wrong with under I’m just
saying for me to try to get my value and
my self-esteem based on somebody’s
approval of me was distracting me from
you know the purpose for which I was
called and the purpose for why I was
supposed to be there and I’m wondering
how many of you are being distracted
from the call of God the will of God the
path that God wants you to go down the
plan of God because somebody
somewhere uh is you’re you’re you’re
allowing them and their approval of you
to determine your
value I don’t need my family’s
approval I don’t need my children’s
approval I don’t I don’t need I don’t
need to to do what God called me to do
no and we work hard to get our
children’s approval to get our families
approval we you work hard to do that you
don’t even think it’s there but it’s
there you’re worried and you’re
miserable as a parent because they won’t
give you their
approval I don’t need their approval to
do what God told me to do I did what God
told me to do I did it the best I knew
how and I am not waiting for the rest of
my life to see if you’re going to
approve of what I
did because it it distracts me from
being who I need to be and no then guess
what happens shame comes condemnation
comes all those things come because
you’re not getting the approval that you
hear other people give you’re not
getting that that same approval oh they
magnify this guy oh he’s awesome oh
they’re that and you’re wanting that
approval too and when you don’t get it
you become distracted and could end up
losing the very thing that God gave you
to bless you because you’re so hungry
for somebody’s approval that’s an
atct may not be with with marijuana may
not be with different drugs but you’re
an addict of the worst kind an approv
addict and God wants you to be free from
that today praise God he wants you to
walk out of here today believing that
you have value believing that he has
already approved of you and if he has
already approved if if God has already
approved of you you don’t need nobody
else’s approval do what God told you to
do I can’t tell you how free I am I’m so
free I can teach this to you
today if beat the snot out of me and and
listen I’m not perfectly there where
this is concerned I find myself like
uhoh what is that up up up I I feel like
I need their approval I need I need
their approval of me in order for me to
have value no look what he says in verse
41 this is so
awesome he said your approval means
nothing to
me because I know you don’t have God’s
love love within
you see you’re trying to get approval
from people who don’t
[Applause]
care and that’s why you try to buy
something you can’t
afford trying to get proval from
somebody that don’t care spending money
to try to buy something that you can’t
afford just so somebody can say you’re
successful you buy a great nice car to
so somebody say you’re successful but
they don’t know how bad you’re feeling
that car is hurting you it hurts when
you drive that car because you got to
pay this much money per month you paying
more money for that car and you could be
living you could have a roof over your
head but you but you you you did
something
foolish because you wanted to be valued
by somebody who don’t even care they
ain’t got no love for you amen
[Applause]
wow he says he says your your your
approval of mean means nothing because I
know you don’t have God’s love within
you for I have come to you in my
father’s
name and you have rejected me Jesus said
yet if others come in their own name you
gladly welcome them and that’s what it
looks like you’re you’re facing the deal
of Lou they’re giving their approval to
somebody else but they won’t give their
approval to men then you start you start
working for it you start working for it
listen I know everybody don’t love being
don’t like me and I’m good with that but
there was a time I had this weird idea
that I can get everybody to love and
like me that is
insane you ever put something on social
media Med and you expect for everything
to be positive there’s always going to
be somebody out there don’t you dare put
something up there and say how do you
like my sweater oh that’s nice oh that
beautiful oh you look like a china
cabinet with that sweater
on for I’ve come to you in my father’s
name and you’ve rejected me yet in yet
if others come in their own name you
gladly welcome
them no wonder you came
believe for you gladly honor each
other but you don’t care about the honor
that comes from the one who alone is
God I’m telling you this is a big issue
here and look at 1 Thessalonians chapter
2: 3-6 in the New Living Translation 1
Thessalonians 2 3-6 we we’ll we’ll get
into how this stuff operates but I’m
just showing you how we kind of missed
it throughout the scriptures it’s just
all over the
scripture 1 Thessalonians CH chapter 2:
3-6 he says so you can see we were not
preaching with any uh decent or impure
motives or
trickery for we speak as
Messengers
approved by God to be entrusted with the
good news our purpose is to please God
not people
yeah I say I say our purpose is to
please
God and not
people he alone examines the motives of
our
hearts oh my
goodness never once did we try to win
you with flattery as you well know and
God is our witness that we were not
pretending to be your friends just to
get your
money as for human praise we have never
sought it from you or anyone else we
want human praise we want to be able to
make a rap song we want human praise we
want to be able to get the nicest tenure
we want human praise we want to get the
nicest H we want human praise and that
is something that is just just in our
society big time to where we will
pretend that we’re something that we’re
not so we can get get human
praise are you addicted to other
people’s opinions of you the desire for
approval and the fear of rejection can
harm our mental health and derail God’s
perfect plan for us in his series
overcoming approval addiction crlo
dollar illuminates how to reach Eternal
peace without others approval stop
comparing yourself God did something
awesome with you he made you
authentically you you don’t have to do
too much to please God why cuz he’s
already pleased the day you believed was
the day he was pleased see you don’t
know how God will use you do not let
approval addiction stop you from getting
where God wants you to be now this
two-part series is available to you for
a love gift of $15 or more for CDs or
$25 us or more for DVDs order yours
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[Music]
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