When We Feel Inferior – Dr. Charles Stanley

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male announcer: “In Touch,” the
teaching ministry of Dr. Charles

Stanley, reaching the world with
the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Next on “In Touch,”
“When We Feel Inferior.”

Dr. Charles Stanley: One of
the greatest barriers in our

life to achievements,
to relationships,

good relationships or to real,
genuine contentment in life is

what we feel about ourselves.

And those feelings can
either be very helpful or

they can be absolutely
devastating.

Now, somebody might say,
“Well, what I feel about

myself doesn’t make
any difference.”

What you feel about yourself
makes all the difference in the

world because, listen to this,
you will act out in life what

you feel about yourself.

You can’t do otherwise.

What you feel about yourself
is the way you’re going

to act out in life.

So, when a person has feelings
such as feelings of inferiority,

they’re going to affect
everything about your life.

They’re going to
affect you on your job,

in your home,
with your children,

with your friends, things
that you’d like to accomplish,

places that you’d like to go.

It’s going to affect every
single area of your life.

Feelings of inferiority
are absolutely devastating.

And what I want to do in this
message is talk about just that.

The title of this message is:
“The Source of Our Strength-When

We Have Feelings
of Inferiority.”

Notice I didn’t say,
“When we are inferior.”

But when we have
feelings of inferiority.

Now, there are lots of
verses of scripture,

but I want you to
turn, first of all,

to Ephesians chapter 2, one
verse of scripture in this

passage, and that’s verse 10.

Because in this
passage, you’ll recall

that Paul has described

what is absolutely
essential to our salvation.

He’s talked about the
condition we were in,

dead in our trespasses and sins
and what was going on in our

life before Christ
came into our life.

And then, how we were
saved by the grace of God.

Then if you’ll
notice, if you will,

in verse 10 what he says.

He says: “For we
are His workmanship,

created in Christ
Jesus for good works,

which God prepared beforehand,
that we should walk in them.”

There is emotional baggage
that people carry in their life,

don’t even
realize they carry it.

And all of their
life it is a detriment,

it is a handicap, it is an
obstacle to what God wants them

to become, what God wants to
achieve and to accomplish

in that person’s life.

So, if I should ask
you this morning,

“Have you ever had any
feelings of being inferior?”

More than likely
most of us would say,

“Well, mmm, maybe
somewhere out there.”

Some of us would
say, “Oh, yes I have.”

And some would say,
“Not only have I had them,

I still feel that way.”

So, I want us to
look for just a moment,

and then we’re coming to
the passage toward the end.

But I want us to look at the
source of this and begin by

simply saying this: that one of
the sources of our feelings of

inferiority, which
means feeling less than,

feeling that we
don’t measure up,

feeling that we are poor quality
or maybe that we have been

rejected, that is, there’s this
feeling of less than that comes

with feelings of being inferior,
that some of those things come,

first of all, from
our early childhood.

And let me say this right up
front: no child was ever born

with feelings of inferiority.

No child was ever born
with feelings of inferiority.

Children learn to feel inferior.

And you know
where they learn it?

They have to get
it from somewhere,

and they have to
get it from somebody.

And most children learn to feel
inferior from their parents or

someone in those
early ages of their life.

Most of the time
they feel it at home.

For example, a parent will say,

“Well, you were a mistake.

We didn’t want you anyway.

You just get in the way.

You’re not going to
ever amount to anything.”

All of that says is: poor
quality, “I’m poor quality.

I don’t fit.

I don’t measure up.

I just don’t belong.”

And so, a person has a
feeling of not measuring up,

poor quality of
personhood, and that,

somehow, they just–there’s
something missing in their life.

A second way is comparisons.

And so, if you’ve had brothers
and sisters in your family,

more than likely, some
of you may have felt,

“Now, I know my mom and dad
love me, he’s the favorite.

She’s the favorite.”

And oftentimes parents
will say, “Well now,

you know, if you were
like your brother.”

Devastating.
It says, “You are less than.

You don’t measure up.
Poor quality.”

Something’s missing.

“I just don’t have
it all together.

Somehow I just can’t measure up
because my mother doesn’t think

I measure up, my father
doesn’t think I measure up.”

And some parents
try to live their

lives through their children.

And that’s why they push them
and push them and push them,

and oftentimes the mother wants
to dress them up and make them

look like a queen all the time
because she never felt like one.

And not feeling
like one now,

she’s just trying to push
her daughter on.

Sometimes they don’t even
let kids grow up, they just push

them from about six to
adulthood and then they wonder

why the kids get so frustrated
and messed up in life.

Because mom shoved her too far.

Father pushed him too far.

“Listen, boy, when
I was down there,

I was out in the field
and I was always there.”

Maybe this kid could care
less about sports but father’s

pushing and shoving.

“Well, if you
were like your dad.”

Who wants to be like that
kind of a dad to begin with?

And so, what happens is either
by verbal criticism or by verbal

comparison, a child learns, very
early in life, to feel inferior.

Now, notice I didn’t say
a child becomes inferior.

I said feel inferior.

There’s a third way, I
think, children pick up on this.

And this is the
circumstances of their life.

And so I give you a
few personal examples.

When I was coming along, my
mom and I–my father died early,

as I mentioned before, when I
was about nine months of age.

And so, she and I had to move
around, and oftentimes we

lived in one room,
basement apartments.

And I’ll never forget
this young lady that,

young girl, I was
just very young then,

first and second
grade and so forth,

and got a little older,
I had noticed her,

had been noticing her a while.

And so, I wanted to date her.

Well, at this time, my mother
and I were living in a basement

apartment that
belonged to her father.

And they had a real nice
house right next door.

What do you think
her mother said?

“You’re not going to
date that Charles Stanley.

He lives in the basement!”

What she said was,
“He’s less than.

He doesn’t measure up.

He doesn’t fit.
He’s not good enough.

Because you see, he is
of inferior quality.

We live up here on
the main street.

He lives down in that
one room in a basement.

So, he doesn’t measure up.”

Well, that’s not the only
basement she and I lived in,

and so when I grew up we kept
moving around and lived in

some other basement apartments.

And so, what did I feel?

Well, I learned very early
that if you live in a

basement, you’re less than.

So, I learned that
where I lived sort of

determined what I was like.

And if you lived in seventeen
different places in sixteen

years like I did, you really
got messed up in your thinking.

Because none of them
were really nice places.

Couldn’t afford that.

And so, part of my identity
got wrapped up in where I lived.

And where I lived
wasn’t very good.

It’s the best we could afford
but it wasn’t very good

compared to somebody else.

And then, one of the worst
things that happened was my

mother made me wear short pants
when I was in the sixth grade.

I was the only person in the
sixth grade with short pants.

I mean, short pants.

I don’t mean now,
these fancy Izod

and Pollo kind of
pants you wear today.

I’m talking about just
plain old short pants.

Sixth grade!

The only person in sixth
grade with short pants.

What did that say?

It said to me, somehow,
according to all my friends

I was far less than.

Believe me.

And they’d look at me and
laugh at me and skinny me

and this, that, and the other.

And it did something to
me, made me feel less than.

Didn’t measure up.

I wasn’t dressed
right, like everybody else.

And so, what happens in
whatever situation it may be,

children grow up
with verbal criticism,

verbal comparisons, and
situations and conditions in

their life that speak to them
and say, “You’re less than.

You just don’t measure up.”

But there’s a wonderful
answer to all these things,

and it’s right here
in this tenth verse.

So, I want you to go back, if
you will, to this tenth verse.

Notice what he says.

He says, “For we
are His workmanship,

created in Christ
Jesus for good works,

which God prepared
beforehand, that,” you and

I, “should walk in them.”

Now, I want you to look at this.
He says we are His what?

Workmanship.
Whose workmanship?

God’s workmanship!

Which God prepared when?

“Beforehand, that we
should walk in them.”

Now, so I want to say three
things primarily here that,

I think, if you’ll listen to
and apply it to your

heart, it’ll make a difference.

It’ll–it can start making
a difference before you

walk out of this place.

What is the answer
to the–to this?

Now, you can read
all kinds of books,

magazines about pulling yourself
up by your own bootstraps and,

as you heard, and
doing this and doing that.

Here, this is the book
right here that’ll

tell you how to get rid of this.

You don’t need but one book.

The first thing–the first step
to healing of–with feelings of

inferiority, as a believer,
taking that you already are

saved, because
that’s step number one.

But, having put that behind
us, what is the first step?

The first step is to get
God’s viewpoint of me.

To get God’s viewpoint of you.
What’s His viewpoint?

Here’s His viewpoint; he
says you are His workmanship.

Now, let me ask you,
have you believed

everything I’ve told you so far?

Say amen.

All right, now that’s
just what I’ve told you

from my observations.

Now, I want to tell
you what God says.

God says you are
His workmanship,

and that word means masterpiece.

Now, you say, “Don’t give me
that, I’m not a masterpiece.”

You’re not?

Are you saying that God made
a mistake when He made you?

No, He didn’t.

You say, “Well I
don’t look as good.”

Compared to whom?

You see, God made
all of us unique, different.

And the wonderful thing is,
listen, the wonderful thing

is that He made us all
different, so He didn’t make

a long list of–Him a long
line of folks like you.

Then you may have some
reason to compare yourself.

But since He made
you uniquely different,

there’s nobody you can
compare yourself with.

Because God didn’t intend
anybody to be like you.

You are His workmanship.
That is, He created you.

Now, you say, “But look, what
about these people who have

deformities and all
kinds of problems?”

Listen, He says He
created us for His purpose.

Now, His purpose in one
person’s life may be a short

life and a difficult life.

And for somebody else
it’d be totally different.

He made us for His purpose,
therefore I can’t compare

myself with anybody else.

He says you are His workmanship.

God created you
uniquely you for His purpose.

And if you let the world’s
bombardment of all of its

commercialism drive out of your
heart and mind God’s viewpoint

of you, you’re going to be
trapped and you’re going to live

your life trapped
by the world’s vain,

empty, erroneous, false
counterfeit philosophy.

They don’t have any answers!

That’s why they’ve got
to have more and more,

bigger and bigger, and
the comparisons

and all of these things.

It’s all a matter
of human decisions.

He says we are His workmanship.

That means you are somebody.

And that word also means,
part of its connotation means

persons of notable excellence.

Has nothing to do with beauty,
riches, or where you live.

It has to do with who you are.

It is who you are in
your relationship to God.

He says you’re His workmanship.

You don’t have to compare
yourself with anybody because

He made you uniquely you.

So, first of all, I need
to understand God’s

viewpoint about myself.

I’m His–created
for His purpose.

So, ever how long my arms
are or my legs, how big my ears

are or my nose, that’s
the way He made me.

So do I have to compare my
nose to somebody else’s?

No.

It’s the way I made mine–that’s
the way He made mine.

And so it must be all right!

Or He could have changed it.

Now, I could let myself get
sloppy and–in several different

ways, but when you’re just
doing–going along in your

normal life, that’s
the way He made you.

So there’s
nothing wrong with you.

The second thing I need
to understand is I need to

understand God’s love for me.

When I understand
God’s love for me,

something happens to
feelings of inferiority.

Now, how much does He love you?

Well, you might say,
“Well, I know that He loves me.

I’m absolutely sure of that.

And so, there’s no question in
my mind about that mentally.

But if you ask me if I
feel loved of–by God,

that may be a
different question.”

So, let’s talk about
this for a moment.

God loves you enough to have
sent His only begotten Son,

Jesus, to die on the
cross in behalf of your sins.

Now, you’ve heard that so
many times it runs in one ear

and out the other, probably.

But think about it for a moment.

God didn’t have to.

And He had you in mind when
He sent Jesus Christ into this

world to die for
your sins and mine.

He loves you enough
that He sent Jesus,

who died on the cross and paid
your sin debt so that you could

be free, listen, so you
could be made righteous.

And then He sent the Holy Spirit
to indwell you so you could

become the person
God wants you to be.

He made you competent.

He put you in the body
of Christ in salvation

and made you belong.

He sent the Holy
Spirit to live within you,

to make you competent to do
anything He wanted you to do.

And in the death of His
Son, He declared your value.

“I love–you’re so valuable to
Me, I’m willing to give My Son!”

Now, would a holy, righteous,
heavenly Father who loves you

and me enough to come and
live on the inside of us,

who loves us as much as He
loves His only begotten Son

create you and me inferior?

And the answer is
absolutely not!

One last thing.

First of all, I need to get
God’s viewpoint of myself.

He doesn’t create
anything inferior.

Secondly, I need to
understand, get His viewpoint

on how much He loves me,
just like He loves the Son.

And thirdly, I
need to understand,

listen, I need to understand
that God–I need to understand

God’s expectations of me.

If I understand His viewpoint of
me and I understand His love for

me and can grasp that and I
understand His expectations of

me, my feelings of
inferior are going to leave.

Now, what are His expectations?

First of all, He doesn’t
expect me to be perfect.

He doesn’t expect any
of us to be sinless.

You know what His
expectations are?

Not nearly what
we think they are.

God doesn’t have some
standard up here saying,

“Now I’m just waiting
for you to get there.”

It’s like the men who
jump the high jump.

Every time they
succeed what do they do?

They raise the crossbar.

So, if you set a list of
standards and rules and

regulations to live by and
you live up to some of them,

as soon as you get these
done, what’s going to happen?

You’re going to
raise the standard.

It’s not going to work.

You and
I–listen, He didn’t say,

“My adults, if you
sin against God.”

He said, My what?
“My little children.”

You know what that says to me?

I can look at a child and
know what God expects of me.

A little child has
to learn to walk

and stumbles and falls down.

You remember even when you’re a
teenager you fell sometime and

you hurt yourself
and cut yourself.

We’re still making mistakes.

And we get to be adults,
we still falter and fall.

God knows you and I are
not going to be sinless.

He’s not even
expecting us to be sinless.

You know what?

He knows that you and
I are not going to do

the right thing
every single time.

We’re not even going to do
things right every single time.

You know what?
He doesn’t expect us to.

Because you see, by
the grace of God,

He provided for loving you
and me through anything,

all things and
everything, no matter what.

You know why?

He knows that you and I
live in these physical bodies,

and they have five senses and we
are temptable and we’ll be tried

and tested and we’ll
falter and we’ll

fall, we’ll make mistakes.

You know what happens?

Every time we
fall, make a mistake,

or sin against Him, we get up
and we get up cleansed by the

blood of Jesus and keep moving.

If you are waiting
until you can please God,

I’m here to tell you, you will
die in the condition you’re in.

You’re not going to be able to
please Him the way your feelings

of inferiority would cause
you to want to believe that,

“somehow I’ve got to measure up.

I’m going to–one of these
days I’m going to get there!”

Well, when is that and
what are you going to have

to do to get there?

The wonderful thing–you
see, when I understand what His

expectations are, I can relax.

And what are His expectations?
Two things.

God only has two
expectations of me.

And if you can grasp His
viewpoint of you and grasp the

fact of how much He loves you
and grasp the fact of what His

two simple expectations are,
you can leave those feelings

of inferiority right now!

What are they?
Just two things.

He expects me to trust
Him and to follow Him.

That’s all.

You say, “What
about loving Him?”

Well, if I trust
Him, I will love Him.

If I’m following Him,
it’s because I love Him.

That is the–you
see, that’s the

wonderful, wonderful part.

It’s that third
part of the triangle.

What does He expect?

He just–His–He just expects me
to trust Him and to follow Him.

You know what, He doesn’t
expect me to measure up

to anybody else’s expectations.

Just trust Him and follow Him.

Now, let me give you an
illustration to close.

I think it was back in the
sixties that Maxwell Maltz was

a plastic surgeon and
he learned something.

He said he would–these
women would come in,

or men, and maybe they would
have been in an accident and

have all kinds of distorted
facial features and they would

just–it would be–they
had–it devastated them.

They didn’t want to
go out in public,

didn’t want to be seen.

Or maybe they were born a
certain way with nose all

crooked up or one ear was bigger
than the other one and was down

here like this or
whatever it may have been,

but real distorted
kind of figures.

And so, he would
study, and he’d work,

and so, he would do
plastic surgery on them.

And then, he says, at first,
he–his exciting day was when it

was done and then he held
this large mirror up

and let them see themselves.

He said the most
shocking thing would happen.

He’d absolutely changed
this person’s facial features,

made woman beautiful
or a man handsome.

They’d look in the
mirror and they’d say,

“Phew, I look just the
way I used to look.”

He said he realized that after a
while–and even after they would

come back a few weeks later
still in the same condition,

“Well I–you know,
I’m still displeased.

I paid you all this money and
I still look the same way.”

And they would be
totally different!

Because you see, in their
mind and in their heart,

they didn’t
deserve to look better.

They still saw through their
mind’s distorted understanding.

They were still ugly, still
distorted when–he said some of

them were absolutely gorgeous.

But they never saw it.

Now, listen to me carefully.

It doesn’t make any difference
how much money you make,

how beautiful or
how handsome you are,

how big your house,
how expensive your car,

how much money you
have in the bank,

your prominence,
your position in life,

it doesn’t make any difference.

If you still feel inferior, you
are not going to be able

to enjoy anything and all
the things that God may

have placed in your life.

Listen, feelings of inferiority.

Now I want you to be
sure you get this.

If you’re listening, say amen.

Feelings of inferiority are
the result of a decision

you and I make.

We accept them as true
or we choose to know

that they’re a lie.

It’s a decision you make.

And here’s how
important this is.

No matter who you are,
your past or your present,

you have the privilege, right
now, to say, “Father, I want

to thank You today that You
made me the way I am.

You don’t make any mistakes.
You don’t make any junk.

You don’t make
anything inferior.

You made me this way.

I want to thank You for loving
me enough to give me the skills

and talents and
abilities I have in life.

I want to thank You, Father,
for loving me as much

as You love the Son.

Thank You for giving
Jesus Christ to me,

to live on the inside of me and
the Holy Spirit to enable me to

achieve and to accomplish and to
do anything you want me to do.

I just want to thank You that
You’ve made me the way I am and

I want to thank you that
I’m not inferior to anybody,

that I’m Your
son, Your daughter,

and I’m the best You
could make me

to be, and I just
want to thank You.

Because what I want to do is,
I just want to trust You and

follow You and rest in a
wonderful love that I know

is directed toward me.

You love me, Father, so I don’t
have to be inferior or feel

inferior to
anybody about anything.

I’m just a wonderful me that You
made and You’re working on me.

And Father, I know that we’ve
got a long ways to go but You

said You weren’t going
to give up on me

and I’m not giving up on You.

And so, I just want to
thank–I’m just going to leave

all my feelings of
inferiority right here today.

And I accept who I am in Christ.

I accept that I’m uniquely made.

I accept that I am fully loved
and I accept that I am going to

make mistakes, but I
am perfectly loved

even through them all.”

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