Picture a tug-of-war contest. Two sides struggle against each other, straining to gain control. Can both sides win? Of course not—that’s the nature of the game. In this message, Dr. Stanley sheds light on the internal conflict each of us must face: the battle between obeying God or indulging our flesh. It’s a high-stakes struggle with only one winner. But as children of God we’re not left on our own—with the Holy Spirit on our side, we’re each equipped with self-control. Learn how this fruit of the Spirit tips the scales in your favor.
Dr. Charles Stanley: Is there
any area of your life that
you would consider
as being out of control?
What about your finances?
Are they out of control?
What about your moral life?
Would you say that’s out
of control?
What about your relationship
with other people?
Is it out of control?
What about your attitudes toward
some people?
Like jealousy.
When you think about your life,
is there any area of your life
that you say, Well, I think
that’s out of control?
For example, you drink.
And maybe you take drugs.
Or maybe you gamble a little
bit, you say.
And what about gossiping?
What about just having a
critical spirit?
What about being lazy?
None of those fit who we are.
And that’s why Paul said to the
Galatians, “The fruit of the
Spirit is love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness,
self-control.”
So, when you think about your
life, would you say that your
life is under control?
Or would you say that there are
some areas of my life that
certainly are not in control.
Well, it’s a battle.
And that’s the title of this
message, “The Battle for
Self-Control.”
We all want to be in control of
our lives.
And now what I mean by that is
this.
We want to have the relationship
with our Lord by which we are
submitted to Him to the point
that we’re not always battling,
because watch this.
When things are not right
between you and God, it’s like a
tug of war.
God wants you to do the right
thing.
You’d like to but you don’t and
so there’s tension and stress
and uneasiness and oftentimes
unhappiness, lack of peace, lack
of joy, lack of all the things
that Paul just mentioned.
You see, you cannot be living a
life of disobedience to God and
have love, joy, peace, goodness,
and all the rest.
You can’t.
You say, Well, I’m sort of happy
the way I am.
Sort of.
But you cannot have real
happiness, real joy, real peace,
real love when you and the Lord
Jesus Christ are not in
agreement about your life.
So, I want us to think about
this whole issue of the battle
for self-control in our lives
because all of us either have
had a battle or are in a battle
right at the present time.
So, think about this.
Would you say that your life is
under control?
That you have a sort of a
healthy attitude about all of
these things.
The desire for acceptance by
others.
How strong is that desire that
you have that you want to be
accepted by everybody else?
The desire to be loved by
others.
Do you want people to love you?
That is, have a close
relationship.
What about desires for all types
of pleasure?
Does that characterize you?
That just whatever is fun;
whatever makes you feel good for
the moment; that’s what you’re
looking for.
What about sex?
Do you have sexual desires that
are outside the will of God?
We’re living in a very sexually
oriented society.
And Paul lived in a society that
was a cesspool of immorality.
And so, he knew about it.
What about desires for wealth
and security?
Where does that rate on your
list of important things?
Wealth and security.
What about desires to achieve
and to excel?
Is that healthy desire you have;
or do you want to excel above
other people?
You want to be better than.
What about the desire to have
notoriety and fame?
You see, this is the reason
people do atrocious things.
They’ll get their name on
television and their picture and
in the newspaper, but look what
it costs them.
What about would you say that
you have a strong desire for
happiness?
If that’s true, what are you
doing to be happy?
What are you being to be happy?
What about your desire for
personal attractiveness?
Is that wrong?
No, it’s not wrong; but does
that demand a lot of your time,
lot of your thinking?
Do you just want to look good or
do you want to look good better
than somebody else?
So, do you feel the friction of
that?
If I could just fix my hair like
she fixes hers?
Or if I could just dress like
she dresses or he dresses.
What about a desire to control?
Do you have a desire to control
other people?
Somehow, you just got to be
number one.
And in your business, you’re not
number one, but you’d like to
be, you want to be.
And then, for example, a desire
for self-acceptance.
I just want to be able to accept
myself the way I am.
You and I will never be anyone
else.
So, think about that.
No matter what you are, how you
see yourself, what you intend to
do with your life; you will
never be like someone else.
God made you just the way you
are.
Now, whether we distort that by
our actions and our attitudes,
that’s another question.
But as you think about all of
these, would you say that your
life is under control?
That you have a sort of a
healthy attitude about all of
these things.
Now, let’s talk about what
self-control is.
Self-control is basically
thinking before you act; which
is what a lot of people do not
do.
Thinking before you act and
considering seriously the
possibility of the results that
you’ll have.
Would you say that’s true of
your life?
Your life’s under control.
You think before you act.
So, the battle for self-control.
Now, beginning in the nineteenth
verse of the fifth chapter, Paul
sort of sets us up for the
fruits of the Spirit by saying,
verse nineteen, “Now, the deeds
of the flesh.”
Now, notice what he says.
There are fruits of the Spirit;
that is, this is the–these
things we just mentioned, love,
peace and joy, these attitudes
come from the work of the Holy
Spirit within us.
But notice how he contrasts that
in verse nineteen in the fifth
chapter, “Now, the deeds,” our
actions, “of the flesh,” the way
we live, “are evident, which
are.”
And the first three of them have
to do with sexuality.
He says, “Immorality, impurity,
sensuality, then idolatry,
sorcery, enmities, strife,
jealousy, outbursts of anger,
disputes, dissensions, factions,
envying, drunkenness, carousing,
things like these, of which I
forewarn you, just as I have
forewarned you, that those who
practice such things will not
inherit the kingdom of God.”
Now, watch this verse.
You may be seated here, or out
there somewhere, and you’re
saying, Then I guess I’m not
going to heaven because I’ve
done one of all of those things.
The key word in this passage is
that “I have warned you, those
who practice such things.”
And so, I won’t get into the
Greek of the verb here but what
that means is it’s a way of
life.
Not that there has not happened
in your life, because more than
likely, when I look at this
list, all of us to some degree
have it–sometimes probably
committed one or all of those.
But it’s not a practice; it’s
not a way of life for us.
When you trusted Jesus Christ,
those things do not fit who we
are.
So, he’s saying, “Those who
practice such things.”
It’s their lifestyle.
A person who drinks all the
time, it’s their lifestyle.
A person who’s always into
something sexual, it’s their
lifestyle.
You could just go down the list.
So, we’re not saying that a
person who does one of these is
not going to heaven.
But if you’ve come to the place
in your life you practice those,
it’s the way you think, that’s
who you are, it’s because you’re
not saved.
You can’t live like that
continuously and really be
saved.
You say, Well, now I
thought–no, listen to what he
said, “Those who practice those
things will not inherit the
kingdom of God.”
So, that’s our actions.
But what about the fruit of the
Spirit?
So, let’s think about that for
just a moment and ask here a few
questions.
And when I think about that and
think about the society in which
you and I live; think about the
fruit of the Spirit versus what
we live around.
And ask yourself the question,
Would you be considered a
follower of Jesus with your
conduct, the things that
you–that do and see and the
thing–places you go, how you
spend your money.
In other words, are all of those
things in your life that you
consider important, do they fit
who you are?
When you trusted Christ as your
Savior, you turned your back on
sin.
Doesn’t mean that you’ll never
sin again, turns your back on
sin.
And so, your commitment to the
Lord is to be obedient to Him
and to walk in His ways because
you want the fruit of the Spirit
in your life, of love and joy
and peace and goodness and
gentleness.
And all of these fruits you want
in your life because You’re
going to be more satisfied.
You’re going to be more secure.
You’re going to be able to
relate to other people totally
different than what you used to.
So, as you look at your life,
would you say at this point that
you are walking in the Spirit?
And those who know you, would
you say they know you as a
person who walks in the Spirit?
Something different about you.
Or, do they see in you this
tension, this stress, this
anxiety, this–it’s like a tug
of war.
How do you break that tension,
stress and all the rest?
By surrendering to the Lord; by
turning your life over to Him;
by saying, God, the way I’ve
been living doesn’t work.
That’s not the way I want to
live in my life.
And I think about people who
live their whole life captured
by some sin; living in slavery
in their hearts and their minds;
Many people live and die and
never experience the love of
God, the goodness of God, the
freedom of God, the gentleness
of God, the rewards of God.
They lived their whole life and
never experienced that.
So, if somebody should say to
you today, Well, at this point
in your life, whatever your age,
where would you say you are?
Would you say that you’re a
person who experiences the love
of God?
A person who recognizes that
He’s the source of everything?
Would you say that you’re a
person who loves other people?
You’re happy when you see other
people being blessed.
You’re happy when you see other
people be saved.
You love listening to the Word
of God.
Could that be said of you?
Or would you have to say, Huh!
I can’t exactly explain it, but
I’m really unhappy.
I’d like to be different.
There are things in my life I’d
like to get rid of but there are
some things in my life I–that I
just can’t give up.
Yes, you can.
There’s not anything in your
life you can’t give up when it
comes to sin, if you are willing
to surrender your life to Jesus
Christ and tell Him, I’ve made a
blunder of my life.
I’ve messed it up.
I’ve hurt other people.
I’ve sinned against You.
I’ve sinned against myself;
sinned against the people I love
the most.
God, can You help me?
Here’s my life.
Will He help you?
Change your life.
Change everything about you.
Self-control.
Would you say that your life is
under the control of God?
If not, let me ask you a
question.
Are you happy?
No, you’re not.
Are you satisfied with how
you’re doing in life?
No.
You can’t be living outside of
God’s will and plan and purpose
for your life and be happy.
You cannot.
Not real joy.
Not real peace.
Not any of those fruit of the
Spirit.
That’s not going to be in your
life.
The fruit of the Spirit, not of
the flesh.
And the thing that concerns me
most is how people live their
lives and look back and think,
Well, why did this happen to me?
Why wasn’t I blessed?
Was it not because you didn’t
listen to God?
If you live disobediently before
God, you suffer the
consequences.
In other words, all of us who
claim to be followers of Jesus,
there is no acceptable excuse
for our not attempting to live a
godly life whereby the Holy
Spirit is in control of our
thinking and of our actions.
And when He’s in control I think
before I act, and my actions
will follow His purpose and His
plan and His will for our life.
So, what is the key to our
self-control?
And so, this brief passage of
Scripture is Paul’s way of
giving us an opportunity to
examine ourselves to see where
we are in our relationship to
the Lord.
So, self-control requires that
we think before we act.
You ought to get that down.
Self-control requires that we
think before we act.
And this is the problem, people
act before they think, and then
they’re sorry.
And so, you must have a strong
desire to obey God.
If you don’t have a strong
desire to obey God, you’re not
going to live a godly life.
You’re not going to overcome
most anything without that
strong desire for Him in your
life to enable you.
So, you’ve got to believe in
your heart that the Holy Spirit
who lives within you is going to
enable you.
Now, think about this.
Jesus knew all about temptation
and trials, and everything else.
Therefore, when He promised us
the Holy Spirit, He knew how
awful society was in those days.
When you trusted Him as your
Savior, the Spirit of God came
into your life to enable you to
live in whatever society you
live in, to overcome all types
of sin.
So, it’s not just you against
your environment, it’s you and
the Holy Spirit who’s promised
to give you whatever you need to
be victorious.
He’s there for the asking, and
at the yielding of your life.
So, when you think about that,
and you think about you have
someone to help you through
this, so, you should consider,
seriously, the following
questions.
Think about it for a moment.
Before you do anything, ask
yourself these questions: How
will this affect me,
spiritually?
Secondly, how will it affect me
financially?
And how’s it going to affect my
health?
Many people today are where they
are physically because they have
violated the physical laws that
God has given us.
And then they wonder why they’re
where they are.
So, often times it’s a violation
of a principle God’s given us.
So, think about it.
How’s it going to affect me
spiritually, financially, how’s
it going to affect my health?
And, how will others–how is it
going to affect how others see
me?
Will they look at you and say,
“She’s really committed to the
Lord”?
“I can tell he’s really
committed to the Lord.”
You will never talk them into
going in a place like that.
They would never allow that in
their life.
That is, when you think about
your life, how do others see
you?
Not perfect, none of us are
perfect, but do they see you,
watch this, do they see you as a
true believer?
Do they see in you a person who
not only claims to be a
Christian, but person who lives
it out?
Not perfect, but they see the
difference in you.
And so, you ask this question,
all these questions, and ask
this question.
What are the consequences of my
actions?
Do the people I work with, do
they see me as having lived a
Christian life?
Do my friends see me as someone
who was honest today in this
situation?
Do others see me as somebody
who’s very reckless with my
money?
Reckless with my morals?
Reckless with my attitude?
In other words, is the fruit of
the Spirit evident in our lives
every day?
All day?
Now, think about this for a
moment.
God has provided His very, very
best for you, and listen.
I didn’t say His best was easy.
It’s not easy.
It’s difficult sometimes to have
God’s best.
But let me ask you a question.
What’s better than God’s best?
Nothing!
And so, when Paul wrote this
whole book of Galatians,
he–listen to what he says.
For example, he says in the last
chapter, “Do not be deceived,
God is not mocked; whatever a
man sows, this he will also
reap.”
All through this, these six
chapters, he’s encouraging us to
live a godly life.
And what does he say?
Don’t be deceived.
In other words, don’t believe
the devil’s lie.
In other words, you can’t mock
God and say I don’t believe in
God and all the rest.
“Whatever a man sows, he will
also reap.”
Whether he believes it or not.
“God is not mocked; for whatever
a man sows, this he will also
reap.”
Period.
You say, Well, I don’t believe
you always reap what you sow.
Then what you’re saying, God
lied.
I’ll tell you another reason you
can believe it.
Look around you.
Look around your friends who
drink; who are on drugs; who are
living in immorality day after
day after day.
Who cheat when they can; lie
when they can and brag about
getting away with it.
You don’t want to live that kind
of life because, listen, you
cannot change the law of God.
You can’t change His law and His
law is, listen, whatever we sow,
we’ll reap.
And think about this.
You’ve been sowing something all
these years.
Now, God says you’re going to
reap a harvest.
Does God miss anything?
No.
Does God–is He a judgmental
God?
No.
What–the problem is we hear
what He says but we don’t
believe what He says.
For example, if somebody said to
me, Well, I’ll tell you what,
pastor, if you’ll just step out
all the way down here and here’s
what’s going to happen.
If you do that, you’re going to
break your leg.
Wouldn’t I be foolish to look
down four steps and say, “Well,
I’m going to do it anyway”?
You know what?
That’s exactly what people do
when they hear the Word of God,
they listen to the Word of God,
they say, Well, yeah, I do
believe that.
Walk right out and do something
totally opposite.
Now, listen carefully.
It is a dangerous thing to
listen to the Word of God and
then deliberately, willfully,
knowingly disobey God.
Dangerous.
Because whatever a man sows,
he’s going to reap.
Reap what he sows, more than he
sows, and later than he sows.
We don’t like that part.
Just because you’re not having a
bad time at this point in your
life, and you’ve been
getting–you think you’ve been
getting away with sin, you
haven’t gotten away with it.
I’ll tell you why.
God loves you too much to let
you get by with it.
He loves you too much for that.
Besides that, He would not be
being Himself.
God has chosen the very best for
those who are willing to listen,
surrender, and walk in His ways,
He’s got the best.
Don’t look around and compare
yourself with somebody else.
God has a plan for your life.
He’s got the best plan for your
life.
Ask yourself this question.
What am I doing in my life
that’s, watch this carefully,
what am I doing in my life
that’s cheating me out of God’s
best?
What is it?
What are you doing that’s
cheating you out of God’s best?
Creating stress and tension and
strife, tug of war in your life.
What is it in your life that you
just can’t let go?
What is it in your life that you
want that you don’t have?
What is it in your life that
you’re doing that slammed the
door on the blessings of God?
When I think about how awesome
loving God is, and then people
who hear the truth and walk away
thinking there are no
consequences.
Listen to me carefully.
If you will listen carefully,
you’ll hear the devil tell you
this.
The devil is saying, You don’t
have to believe all that.
You don’t have to believe all
that.
But on this side, God is saying,
You’re going to reap what you
sow.
We have a choice.
And I will say to you, It’s a
dangerous thing to hear the
gospel.
It’s very dangerous for you to
listen to the gospel and turn it
off, walk away, because then
you’re responsible for knowing
the truth, denying the truth,
and saying no to God.
It’s a dangerous thing to hear
the gospel.
And it’s an awesome wonderful
thing to hear the gospel.
It depends upon how you respond,
how you react.
Let’s pray.
Father, in Jesus’s name, what a
critical moment this is.
For people seated here and
people who are listening and
watching it, their eternity may
hinge upon their decision in
this moment.
Oh God, may Your love sweep over
them.
May Your love surround them and
undergird them.
May they be wise enough to
recognize that You’re God, the
only true God, and you have the
best, the best plan possible for
them from this point on, if
they’re willing to say, yes,
Lord.
Yes, yes, yes Lord.
In Jesus’s name, amen.