Think of someone with whom you love to spend your time. A certain warmth emanates from their core, inviting you to rest and be yourself, doesn’t it? That soothing radiance has a name: kindness. In this message, Dr. Stanley teaches about the irresistible nature of tenderheartedness, both how God demonstrates such a quality toward us and how we should imitate Him in our earthly relationships. Lean into His unfailing kindness and watch how it multiplies in your own life, testifying to everyone around you of the goodness of God. For more messages from Charles Stanley, including this week’s broadcast, go to www.intouch.org/watch
Dr. Charles Stanley: Do you
consider yourself a kind person?
Think about it a moment.
Are you a kind person?
You’re friendly.
You’re generous.
You’re patient.
You’re easygoing.
You’re warmhearted, thoughtful,
and you’re just fun to be with.
Now, you may be thinking, “No,
I’m not,” but I’d like to meet
somebody like that.
But I want you to think about
this.
A kind person is a person who
stands out in a crowd.
They may not be the one who
talks the most, but there’s
something about a kind person.
It’s sort of a built-in
attraction, it’s just there.
And when a person’s kind, it not
only shows in their face, but
naturally most of all in their
actions.
And when I think about that, and
I think about the
characteristics of it, it’s very
evident that it’s of the Holy
Spirit because Paul says in this
fifth chapter of Galatians, “But
the fruit of the Spirit is love,
joy, peace, patience,” we’ve
talked about all of those, and
then kindness.
Goodness and gentleness are two
other traits, but I’m going to
just leave those with kindness
because if you’re gentle, you’re
going to be kind.
If you’re good, you’re going to
be kind.
And so, rather than take a whole
message on each one of those, I
want to talk about kindness and
goodness and gentleness.
And so, when you think about
kindness, what comes to your
mind?
Would you consider yourself a
kind person?
And maybe you would and maybe
you wouldn’t, but also he says,
and this is one of my favorite
verses about kindness in the
fourth chapter of Ephesians.
The thirty-second verse says,
listen, “Be ye kind, one toward
another, tender-hearted,
forgiving each other, just as
God in Christ Jesus has forgiven
you.
Be ye kind one to another.”
And then Paul says in Colossians
the third chapter, “Put on a
heart of kindness.”
That is, it’s our responsibility
as a child of God to be kind.
And we have the indwelling Holy
Spirit who is the source of our
kindness.
So, the natural outflow in your
life and mine should be, to
those around us, that of
kindness.
And all these characteristics
that we mention: friendly,
generous, patient, easygoing,
thoughtful, warm hearted, and
ask yourself the question, would
that be true of me?
Would your children see you as
kind?
Your husband or wife see you as
kind?
They may say, “Well, lot of
characteristics, but kindness
isn’t one of them.”
Kindness is a very, very
Christ-like characteristic.
And you don’t hear much about
kindness, but the apostle Paul
says it’s the fruit of the
Spirit.
That is, when the Holy Spirit is
free in you and me to live out
what God intends for Him to live
out in us, kindness is going to
be one of them.
We’re going to be thoughtful of
others, our mind’s going to be
upon them.
And when I think about that, I
think about the first lesson I
ever learned about kindness
wasn’t a very good one.
But my mom was going to town one
afternoon when I was just
probably seven, eight, or
something like that, and she
wouldn’t let me go with her.
And I didn’t like it.
And I said something to her.
She was on the way out.
She walked down the steps and I
was on the porch and I said
something to her that was not
very kind.
And I was ashamed of myself when
I said it, and knew I shouldn’t
have said it.
I wanted to go, but she wouldn’t
let me, and so here’s
what she did.
She turned around and she said,
“Charles, the Bible says, ‘Be
kind to one another.'”
I’ve never forgotten it because
it went straight to my heart.
I’ve never forgotten the sound
of her voice.
“Charles, the Bible says, ‘Be
kind to one another.'”
Kindness is a natural, normal
trait of a believer, especially
one who is living in the Spirit
of God.
And so, you ask yourself the
question: would that be true of
you?
And if you think about it,
kindness is a built-in
attraction to a child of God
because Christ is our life,
living within us and living
through us, kindness.
Therefore, a person who’s kind
not only does certain things,
but they automatically, there’s
something inside of them that’s
always sensitive to somebody who
needs kindness.
Or in some way, you can express
kindness.
It may be something you say
verbally.
It may be something you do as
far as some action is concerned.
But kindness is a natural trait
of a child of God.
“Be ye kind, one toward another,
tender-hearted,” he says
forgiving one another even, “as
God in Christ has forgiven,” us.
And Jesus was certainly kind in
His day.
You say, “Why are you think
He’s so kind?”
I’ll tell you one reason.
Bartimaeus, a poor blind beggar,
when they brought him to Jesus,
here’s what He said to him.
He didn’t say to him, “What
happened to you?”
Or, “Why are you sitting on a
highway?”
Say, “Why are you begging
anyway?
Why don’t you?”
No, He said, “Bartimaeus, what
would you like for Me
to do to you?”
And he said, “Lord, that I may
receive my sight.”
And He gave him his sight.
But kindness is a trait that
should be true of every single
one of us.
And if you’ll think about it,
there is no reason not to be
kind.
The fruit of the Spirit, which
says because the Holy Spirit
lives inside of you, you have
the capacity to be kind to
people no matter what.
If you’ll think for a moment,
listen, in Titus chapter three,
because our salvation is an act
of God’s kindness.
So, listen to what he says
beginning in verse four.
“But when the kindness of God
our Savior and His love for
mankind appeared, He saved us,
not on the basis of our deeds
which we’ve done in
righteousness, but according to
His mercy, by the washing of
regeneration and renewing of the
Holy Spirit, whom He poured out
upon us richly through the Lord
Jesus Christ our Savior.”
That is, one of the expressions
of the Holy Spirit in our life
is to be kind.
So, if somebody says, “Are you
filled with the Spirit?” and you
say yes, then they have a right
to expect you to be kind.
Now, that doesn’t mean being
kind in every single situation
and being like a teddy bear.
No, kindness is also strong,
because kindness responds kindly
even in difficult situations.
And so, ask yourself the
question: would you be
considered kind?
And then, for example, in Romans
chapter two, look at this
chapter two and look, if you
will, in this fourth verse.
He says, speaking of kindness,
chapter two, verse four, He
says, “Do you think lightly of
the riches of His kindness?”
That is, he says the riches of
God’s kindness, which means He’s
very kind to us.
And think about this: God is
kind to wicked–to the wicked
people.
He could strike them dead in a
moment if He wanted to.
God is always kind.
He’s kind, He’s strong, He’s
deliberate, He’s holy and
righteous, but He’s also kind.
And the truth is, none of us
probably would be saved if God
were not kind.
He’s kind, He’s thoughtful, all
these characteristics.
“Do you think lightly of the
riches of His kindness and
tolerance and patience, not
knowing that the kindness of God
leads you to repentance?”
That is, we repented of our sins
because of God’s goodness and
kindness and love and
forgiveness and all the rest
that goes with it, all the
fruits of the Spirit.
So, would you consider yourself
a kind person?
If you live with somebody who’s
unkind, you live with a burden.
You live with someone who
mistreats you, says ugly things
to you, does all the things that
unkindness would do.
That’s very, very difficult.
And what’s more difficult is
that you remain kind in the
circumstance where kindness is
not seen anywhere else, it’s
very difficult.
And I’ll tell you something
else, God rewards our kindness.
He rewards our kindness.
And the more difficult the
situation you live in and you’re
kind, God will reward you for
your kindness.
I’ve watched that happen over
and over and over again.
So, somebody says, “Well, what
about when people mistreat you
and say terrible things–you
have to defend yourself.”
Not necessarily.
And I’ll tell you something
else.
An act of kindness sometimes is
a most–is the strongest defense
you can have.
When somebody just tells you off
and lets you have it and you
just stand there, what I’ve
discovered is this: they do not
know what to do with kindness.
And I remember one time that
happened to me, and somebody
just telling me off and accusing
me of something that was
absolutely ridiculous, and I
knew how ridiculous it was.
So, I just stood there and said,
“Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.”
And then when they finished, I
said, “Is there anything else?”
Down they went.
I mean, you can’t fight
kindness.
How do you fight kindness?
You can’t fight it.
It’s a conquering element of
character to be kind when
someone is very unkind to you.
Kindness is not an excuse
for letting people get by with
whatever it may be.
It’s a strong, vibrant,
godly trait to be kind.
So, we don’t have any excuse for
not being kind.
And so, let’s think about
the–some expressions of
kindness that God has expressed
toward us?
Well, the first one is He
pardons us from our sin.
Not a single one of us can brag
about anything we’ve ever done
to gain redemption.
So, He pardons our sins.
The second way He expresses
kindness is He provides for our
needs.
You just think about how often
you’ve been needy in your life,
whatever it might be.
Whether it’s emotion or
physically, materially.
And what happens?
God in His gentleness, kindness,
goodness, what does He do?
He provides for your need.
That’s who He is.
He provides our salvation, He
provides our needs.
Then He protects us, oftentimes,
in times of danger.
How many times we’ve been in
situations and circumstances and
God reaches down to protect us,
or our children, whoever it may
be, in times when we desperately
need Him.
And often, think about this, we
don’t even realize how often
He’s being kind to us.
We don’t know who’s plotting
against us.
In your job, for example, to
take your position, or whatever
it might be.
Or in your home or whatever it
might be.
And yet, God is being kind.
Oftentimes He sends you a signal
to watch out, whatever it
might be.
And then, think about this:
every answered prayer is an act
of kindness on the part of God.
None of us would say, “Lord, I
want You to answer my prayer
because I’ve done thus and so.
I want You to answer my prayer
because I deserve this.”
None of us can boast of that.
He answers our prayers as an act
of pure kindness to us.
What have we ever done and done
enough to merit God’s kindness
toward us?
Nothing, no matter what we do.
And if you’ll think about He
reached down when you and I were
living in sin and He forgave us
of our sins, He wrote our name
in the Lamb’s Book of Life.
We have the gift of eternal
life, which no one can take
from us.
You talking about a gift of
kindness, that is awesome
kindness.
A gift, listen, remember He
saved you and me knowing we
weren’t always going to obey
Him.
He saved us knowing that
sometimes we’d get out of His
will.
He saved us knowing that
sometimes we wouldn’t act very
godly.
He saved us, sometimes we’d be
selfish, sometimes we’d be
prideful, sometimes we’d be
arrogant, sometimes we just
wouldn’t be fit to live with.
And what did He do?
He saved us and, watch this, He
not only saved us, but He
reached out to put His divine,
supernatural, awesome, loving
hand upon us to keep us until
the last moment of our life when
He takes us home to Himself.
That is unbelievable kindness,
that’s who He is.
Then, likewise, look at the
promises He’s kept.
Every promise God has made to
His children, He will keep every
single one of them.
Once you have the gift of
eternal life, that’s a promise
He’ll always keep, no matter
what you do.
But you’ll pay the penalty of
disobedience even though you’re
a child of God.
That is, when God makes a
promise, He’s gonna keep it.
Now, you may be in a situation
where you think, “Well, if God
kept His promises, He wouldn’t
allow me to be in this.”
It may be that you stepped into
something out of His will.
And what’s God doing?
He’s keeping His promise.
“How could God keep His promise
and cause me to hurt like this?”
Because He made a promise.
He promised that
He’d chastise us out of love
when we disobey Him.
What is He doing?
He’s keeping His promise.
You can’t ever come to a place
in life where God does not keep
His promise.
And so, people go through very,
very difficult hardships in
life, oftentimes because they
didn’t keep His Word, didn’t
obey Him, and so what is He
doing?
Here’s what He’s doing.
You’ll reap what you sow, more
than you sow, later than you
sow.
You say, “Well now, what about a
promise?”
Well, that is a promise.
If you’re sowing wonderful seed,
you love that, right?
If you’re disobeying Him,
you don’t love it.
But it’s just God keeping
His promise.
It’s God being kind.
If He did not do that, you and I
would never know where we are
with Him.
He’s kind no matter what.
“The soul that sinneth, it shall
die,” is an awesome, awesome,
warning of God, but it’s a
warning.
It’s not a warning because He
hates, it’s a warning because He
loves.
He’s kind to us, He wants us to
tell us ahead of time what’s
gonna happen if we don’t repent
of our sin.
You can’t ever accuse God of
being unkind about anything, not
legitimately.
Every once in a while, somebody
will say, “Well, if God was
kind, He would never let this
happen in my life.”
We’ve all got those kind of
things.
But the truth is, He’s keeping
His Word.
So, I’ll ask you this question:
would you want a God, if you
could, would you want to have a
God who does what He says most
of the time, sometimes, but
every once in while He doesn’t?
You want that kind of God?
No, we want a God who’s
absolutely true all the time
because He is true.
Now, it may not fall under your
category of kindness, we all
probably have our category of
what kindness is.
And then we have a category of
what God’s kindness is, that’s
always true.
But He’s always kind.
And when we bring difficulty
upon ourselves, it’s because we
have disobeyed the great giver
of kindness who wants the best
for us.
Then, of course, He’s personally
involved in our life.
Think about this.
Not only did He save you, but He
sent you the Holy Spirit to be
personally involved in every
single area of your life.
You’re talking about a gift of
kindness.
Listen, He’s there whether you
and I are obedient or not.
He wants to express kindness, He
loves expressing kindness.
Now, what do you think would
happen if you disobeyed God, and
all of us have.
You disobeyed God and said, He
said, “Well, nobody’s perfect.
We’ll forget that.”
You know what it would do?
It would unseat your faith in
God.
Because you wouldn’t ever know
exactly where you are if He let
you get by with something.
But kindness involves
truthfulness.
It involves discipline, it
involves instruction, it
involves love, it involves
gentleness, kindness.
It involves lots of things.
And so, all of this is part of
it, and then of course, His
promise of presence with us.
Listen to this, “I’ll never
leave you, nor forsake you.”
Is that kindness or is it not?
Now, it’s one thing for somebody
else to say that.
But for God to say to you,
“I will never leave you
nor forsake you,” and period.
He didn’t say, except, if, and
but, when, except who.
No, “I’ll never leave you nor
forsake you.”
God’s kindness is absolutely
indescribable.
But it’s also feel-able, and
it’s also enjoyable, and it’s
also true in our life, the
kindness of God.
So, I would simply say that our
lifestyle should be an
expression of kindness of God.
Now, I want to give you several
Scriptures, you can jot them
down.
Proverbs nineteen, twenty-two
says, “What is desirable in a
man is kindness.”
That’s Proverbs.
What is that?
What is desirable in a man, that
is kindness.
Now, what does the world say?
Muscular, strong, handsome,
rich, lovable, and all the bunch
of stuff that the world has.
The Bible says, what’s desirable
in a man is kindness.
Listen, Proverbs three-three,
“Don’t let kindness and truth
leave you, bind them about your
neck, write them on the tablet
of your heart.”
Keep it close in your thinking
and actions.
Listen to that, “Don’t let
kindness and truth leave you.
Bind them about your neck,” not
your ankle, not your knee.
Why does He bind them about your
neck?
Get them as close as He possibly
can.
In other words, make this first.
Bind them around your neck.
Write them on the tablet of your
heart.
That is, it’s not enough to know
about kindness, write it on your
heart.
It’s got to be a part of you.
Keep it close thinking and in
action.
Zechariah, chapter seven,
verse nine.
Listen, “Practice kindness and
compassion to one another.”
Practice it.
Now, I’m glad He said practice
it.
Because, sometimes kindness has
to be practiced.
And sometimes, you may have a
very difficult time with the
person you are married to or
your children or whatever.
And you’ve not been very kind.
You’re sitting here thinking,
“Well, who told him about me?”
Nobody.
Everybody goes through those
periods at some point in their
life, of not being kind,
probably.
But what’s our responsibility?
Watch this, the Bible doesn’t
make any mistakes.
He didn’t just say be kind,
practice kindness.
Wouldn’t you say at your house
maybe at times you’ve had to
practice it.
Practice kindness, because it
doesn’t always come easy.
And then He says, in first
Peter, chapter two, verse three,
“Tasting the kindness of the
Lord,” which simply means
experiencing it.
Do you experience the kindness
of God?
Do you sense it?
Now, since His readers had
tasted or experienced the
goodness and grace of God, he
wants to make it very, very
clear that you and I realize it
to be a part of our life.
And if anybody should desire any
quality in life, I would place
kindness right close to the top.
Now, if you’re not kind, let me
tell you how you ought to feel:
very convicted, very much
ashamed of yourself.
You ought to feel like going
home and confessing to your
family that you’ve not been the
kind dad or son or daughter or
mother that you ought to be, and
that you’re asking God to
forgive you, and you’re asking
them to forgive you.
And with their help, you want to
start being the kind husband,
father, wife, daughter, sister,
you name it.
You want to be the kind of
person God made you to be.
Now, you say, “Oh, that’s not
necessary.”
No, it’s necessary, but it takes
a man to do it.
It takes a real woman to do it.
To say, “You know, I’ve not been
kind to you,” especially if
they’ve mistreated you.
To say, “I just want you to
know, I want–I haven’t been as
kind as I ought to be, and I
want to be.
If you’ll help me to be, I want
to be kind.”
Kindness’ll change your
family.
It can change your working
location.
It can change your friendships.
It can change the people you mix
with.
Kindness is a gift from God,
provided by the Holy Spirit, and
we are the channels through
which Almighty God speaks
kindness to those we live with,
those who are our friends,
strangers, wherever it might be.
Kindness.
Now, one thing you cannot say,
“I don’t know how to be kind.”
Yes, you do.
Just do the thing that’s proper
from God’s viewpoint.
You’ll change your family.
Watch this: it only takes one
person.
And if it–to change a
whole family.
You’ll change the atmosphere
where you work.
They won’t know what happened.
You’ll change the atmosphere.
You’ll change the atmosphere
around your dinner table at
night.
You’ll change all the commotion
early in the morning when
everybody’s getting ready to go
ten different places and you’re
trying to fix breakfast.
Kindness changes everything.
Now, if you’ve never trusted
Christ as your Savior, that’s
not going to work.
Because you see, He gives the
gift of kindness to those who
are His children.
Those who’ve trusted Him.
So, I want to encourage you to
ask the Lord Jesus Christ to
forgive you of your sin, your
lack of kindness, all the things
you’ve said and done, hurting
people around you, whether it’s
in your home or where you work
or where you play.
Asking God to so change your
life that when they see you,
they will know that something
has transpired in your life.
You’re not the same person,
because God is now expressing
kindness through you.
Father, we love You and praise
You, and thank You for kindness
that we couldn’t ever fully
comprehend.
And when we look at the cross,
we see the most powerful,
unforgettable, eternal example
of kindness.
When we didn’t deserve it,
You loved us anyway.
And I pray the Holy Spirit has
spoken to every single person
here today, my heart, every
heart, to examine: are we really
kind in our actions?
Do we show it?
Father, examine our hearts, do
we express kindness in difficult
situations, hardships, trials,
suffering, rejection, hurt,
pain.
Show us that we have the Holy
Spirit within us who will enable
us even in the midst of being
blistered by someone else,
we can act kindly
in forgiveness toward them.
You have been so kind to us,
show us how to be kind to
everybody we meet.
We love You, Father, we love You
for Your kindness toward us that
You saved us, and we bless Your
holy name this morning.
Amen.