When you experience disappointments in your life, how do you respond? Do you respond by blaming yourself or do you look around for someone else to blame? In Looking Beyond Our Disappointments, Dr. Stanley teaches us how to look beyond our disappointments so that we don’t surrender God given goals in our lives.

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timeless truths

a collection of classic sermons from dr

charles stanley

today’s selection recorded in 2000

looking beyond our disappointments

when you experience disappointments in

your life how do you respond

do you respond by suddenly immediately

blaming yourself

what did you do wrong if out of this or

if out of that

or do you look around to see somebody

else you can blame something that some

somehow you can put the blame on someone

else

well oftentimes we face disappointments

in our life and

we don’t know exactly how to respond

what to say

what to do how to how to react to them

because often times

we can’t quite identify what the real

cause is what the purpose is and so

sometimes we get

we we get stalled right where we are and

we get stalled right on

dead center and we can’t reach our goals

we can’t reach our desires and

oftentimes instead of moving on in life

and progressing in life and

using each of those times of

disappointment as times to learn

and to move on and use them as stepping

stones in life we just get stalled right

there

and so one of the two things will happen

we will either find ourselves stalled

and derailed out of god’s will in our

life

or we’ll find ourselves beginning to

understand what god was

up to moving on in life and

learning from those disappointments and

beginning to experience the joy of the

lord

and progress in our life in areas that

we never even

experienced before but the issue is how

do we respond to them

now let me make it clear right up front

first of all you can’t disappoint god so

we’re not talking about disappointing

god

we disappoint ourselves we discipline

others we can’t disappoint god for the

simple reason

god knows everything past present future

so he has no

false expectations of what we can do or

we may not do or can’t accomplish or may

not accomplish

and since he knows all about us and

knows

everything there is to know about our

future as well as our past there are no

disappointments for them you have to

have expectations

to have disappointments so a

disappointment really

is an emotional response to our failure

to achieve or to fulfill our desires our

hopes our dreams our goals

it’s an emotional response that is a

result of our failure to fulfill

those desires dreams or our goals we

have set for our life

the question is how do you respond so i

want you to turn if you will

to the 11th chapter of john and this is

a chapter that is known primarily for

something far other than i want to talk

about

but this chapter is full of truth about

many different subjects

and the one i want to talk about here is

simply this looking beyond

our disappointments because if you don’t

learn to look beyond them and find out

what god is up to

they will stall you dead in your track

they will derail you

they will they will absolutely cause you

to give up and surrender god-given goals

in your life

simply because you get disappointed so

beginning in verse 1 of this 11th

chapter of john

the scripture says now a certain man was

sick lazarus of bethany

the village of mary and her sister

martha

it was the mary who anointed the lord

with ointment and wiped his feet with

her hair

whose brother lazarus was sick so the

sisters sent word to him saying

lord behold he whom you love

is sick but when jesus heard this he

said

this sickness is not to the end of death

he says but for the glory of god so that

the son of god may be glorified

by it now jesus loved martha and her

sister

and lazarus so when he heard that he was

sick

he then stayed two days longer in the

place where he was

now let’s move up if you will to the

17th verse

so finally of course we know he does

come and so when jesus came he found

that he’d already

been in the tomb four days now bethany

was near jerusalem about two miles off

and many of the jews had come to martha

and mary to console them concerning

their brother

martha therefore when she heard that

jesus was coming

went to meet him but mary stayed at the

house

martha then said to jesus listen to this

lord

if you’d been here my brother would not

have died

lord if you’d been here my brother would

not have died

even now i know that whatever you ask of

god god will give you

jesus said to her your brother will rise

again

martha said to him i know that he will

rise again in the resurrection on that

last day

jesus said to her i am the resurrection

of the life

he who believes in me will live even if

he dies

and everyone who lives and believes in

me will never die do you believe this

she said to him yes lord i have believed

that you are the christ

the son of god even he who comes into

the world

well let me just give you a little idea

what’s happening in this passage because

this passage deals with disappointment

for example here’s what happened

lazarus the brother of mary and martha

whom jesus loved dearly the bible says

and they loved him

uh he he’s sick and so mary and martha

send this messenger to jesus

probably took him a couple of days to

get there maybe somewhere thereabouts

and they found jesus and told him

lazarus is sick and what i want you to

notice

is the message that they sent here’s

what they didn’t say they didn’t say

please tell jesus lazarus is sick come

quickly

they didn’t even say tell jesus lazarus

is sick

please speak a word of healing they

didn’t say to that here’s what they said

they said look at this

in verse 3 now so the sister sent word

to him

saying lord behold that means this is

urgent

he whom you love is sick look at that he

whom you love is sick

they didn’t say please come please heal

him they just

they were just sending a message the one

you love is sick

now why did they say that because they

knew listen what the scripture

says now jesus loved martha and her

sister

and lazarus they knew that jesus loved

them and so

they didn’t sense that they had to tell

him anything else but jesus

the one you love is sick they didn’t say

lazarus who loves you

but the one you love is sick their

expectation was as soon as he heard that

he would either come and heal lazarus by

touching him or raising him up or

whatever it might be or

at least he would speak a word to the

messenger and say

you go tell them their brother is healed

and when he walks in with that message

lazarus would be healed all they said

was you just tell him

that he’s sick well that’s what happened

four days later jesus shows up

lazarus is dead in the tomb rocks

already stone rolled against the tomb

he shows up and so what happens is

because there was such

animosity toward jesus such hatred told

him in fact

even after lazarus was raised in the

grave the bible says the pharisees and

the sadducees

were plotting not only to kill jesus but

to kill lazarus too

because his the fact that he was alive

was living proof that this jesus was not

an unusual man but the most unusual one

who claimed to be the messiah

and so they hated him and so when jesus

came upon the scene in bethany

uh he waited outside the city outside

the town

because he didn’t want to cause any any

turmoil and so

from mount they sent a message martha

goes out to meet him what’s the first

thing she says

lord if you’d been here my brother would

not have died

now was there any disappointment in that

absolutely there was try to cover that

up and be a false

now here’s the question was martha

disappointed in jesus

or was she disappointed in the fact

that her brother had died and

now he’s gone i don’t think you and i

could say

that she was disappointed in the person

of jesus

she was certainly disappointed in what

happened

but to say that she was disappointed in

the lord jesus whom she believed to be

the messiah the son of god and i don’t

believe she was

she was disappointed that jesus for some

reason did not come and allowed her her

brother to die you and i would have been

disappointed

lord i mean martha could have said lord

how many meals have i cooked you how

many meals have i served the disciples

i mean my home’s always been open you’ve

always been a guest i’ve always been

there for you when you needed me

and now when we needed you you didn’t

show up

i don’t think she said all that but you

know what

being human she thought it

she had to think it i mean this was not

god she was mary and martha

she was human and you read that 10th

chapter of luke and the message we

preached on

some time ago i mean she came out and

said jesus

why don’t you why don’t you tell my

sister mary to come to the kitchen help

me

i mean she was a normal natural woman

and so they were disappointed he didn’t

show up

in fact it was so bad the messenger

didn’t even come back and say jesus said

i’m not coming

it was just a cold empty delay

and so they were disappointed now so

let’s get it down there where it is

reality that’s what reality is all about

we all get disappointed

so the issue is how do we respond

how do we how do we respond to

disappointments in life because no

matter who you

are you’re going to experience them and

more than likely you may experience one

this coming week

you could experience one before

you get home today disappointments are

out there

so i want to give you several principles

in this passage that if you’ll jot them

down i am absolutely sure and confident

they will help you

they’ve been tested and tried by

millions over the years and i can tell

you personally every single one of them

works

no matter what you’re going through they

will work and the first one is simply

this god has a purpose

for allowing the disappointments of our

life

he has a purpose for allowing the

disappointments of our life he’s god

he could prevent him if he wanted to he

could change any circumstance of our

life to prevent any kind of

disappointment if he wanted to

and you and i can look around us and say

well how could he how could he have

prevented that because he’s god and so

he could prevent them if he chose

but he allows disappointments in our

life for very specific reasons

now he could have spoken or he could

have arrived

in time to save lives lazarus from death

but he didn’t

his higher purpose was not simplest not

simply to heal

his friend but to raise him from the

dead

far more impressive far more convincing

listen far more powerful and not only

that he would be able to do several

things first of all

he would teach his disciples something

about faith

he says i’m glad that i wasn’t there so

that you may believe

let us go to him because he knew that

the cross was very soon coming

and that their faith was going to be

tested and tried in every way possible

he wanted riveted into their mind that

when they nailed him to the cross

and he was his body was placed in a tomb

he was going to be resurrected just like

he promised and that he had the power to

raise from the dead

even those who had been in the tombs

four days he’d been there

so what was his purpose his purpose was

to glorify god his purpose was to gl was

to be glorified himself

his purpose also was to teach them to

trust him to believe him

and his and certainly his his purpose

was to do something in the life of mary

and martha and lazarus

they would never forget as long as they

lived they would live with this legacy

that he died and jesus christ the son of

god raised him from the dead

living proof as long as they live this

christ is the messiah

his purpose was higher now whatever

disappointment god allows you and me to

go through

he doesn’t just ignore it now watch this

we are quick to claim this verse of

scripture but oftentimes we fail to

apply it in the nitty gritty of life

when we have difficult hurtful painful

disappointing experiences in our life

what about romans 8 28 when he says

that god is engineering our

circumstances for our good

well does he engineer our circumstances

for our good sometimes

most of the time all the time because he

is god he does it all the time whatever

disappointments we face in life whatever

he’s allowed he has allowed them

for a purpose listen for a purpose that

is listen

that he will turn for our good and

oftentimes to our surprising good

if we will respond in the right fashion

and that’s simply to trust him

there’s a second principle i think here

and certainly it was true in mary and

martha’s life

second principle is this and that is

that god is more interested in our

spiritual growth

than relieving us from disappointments

he’s far more interested in our

spiritual growth and relieving us from

disappointments now here’s a good lesson

i think

about this whole issue of faith because

martha

and mary are are getting ready to

experience a monumental

leap in their faith monumental leap in

their faith you say well

didn’t they already have faith they

listen to jesus mary sat at the feet of

jesus

martha had said the feet of jesus and

they’d listened and they’d watched and

they’d heard and they’d fed him and

he’d been there many times and sharing

experiences about the father and things

they were going through

didn’t wasn’t she already lady of faith

yes she was now listen

very carefully listen say amen that’s

not pretty weak let’s say that again

amen

there is a difference between having

fundamental faith

an active vibrant practical working

life-changing impacting faith that’s the

difference

now watch this i said to you you believe

jesus christ son of god

yes you believe he’s the messiah yes

you believe he was virgin born yes you

believe in salvation by grace alone yes

you believe the new breath has gone by

to heaven yes do you believe that god

answers prayer

yes do you believe that that you are

justified by faith in the

death of jesus the cross yes you believe

jesus christ is coming again

yes you believe you see the father’s

right hand yes you believe he’s in a

sitting for you

yes you believe you’re going to be

resurrected yes you

you believe there’s a heaven yes you

believe you’re going to spend time in

heaven yes yes yes

well you got it down now

you get some big disappointment in your

life

oh god where are you lord lord lord

lord where are you help me jesus you

know what

it’s one thing to have the fundamentals

down

it’s something else to live by faith

so when somebody says well i believe the

book from cover to cover that’s not the

issue

that’s the bottom line the issue is am i

able to take the principles of scripture

and apply them to my daily life where i

live so when i hit one of these big

terrible painful horrible

disappointments in life

it doesn’t stall me derail me and get me

out of god’s will and keep me from

becoming the person god wants me to be

here’s what i want you to see

all of us when we get in the depths

of some situations and circumstances

here’s what happens

the mind that that is that this battle

goes on in our minds

faith versus reason reason said four

days

he smells his body is deteriorating

and he’s dead faith says whatever you

say jesus

is gonna be and there was a hesitation

on her part to roll back the stone

even though she just said i know even

now that whatever you ask of god god’s

going to give you

now i’m saying all that to say this this

woman was human

every single one of us is human we will

face situations and circumstances and

disappointments in life

where our faith is going to be tested

and trot if it weren’t tested and tried

we wouldn’t grow

what is it that causes us to grow ease

comfort and pleasure absolutely not

what causes us to grow is difficulty

hardship pain

disappointments trials in life those

helpless times when we don’t know

what to do and how to handle anything

but to trust in god

it was an awesome lesson of faith for

her

and i believe that those times of

disappointment in life are god’s

opportunities to stretch our faith

it’s one thing to say what we believe

when everything is going our way

do i still believe it is my faith

vibrant and alive

and active and practical and listen will

it stand the test of fire and floods

if he won’t stand the test of fire and

floods

desertion abandonment the threat of

death and everything else

then that faith is weak and so what

happens

he knew this was an awesome opportunity

to do for martha someone who

he loved dearly he could the greatest

thing he could give her

is to absolutely explode her faith

and watch what happened then i want you

to think about something else

and that is that our disappointments

do not are not an indication that god

doesn’t love us

but how many times have i heard this

well now if god really loves us

why does he allow these painful

difficult circumstances why does he

allows

why does he allow us to hurt the way he

hurts if he loves us

disappointment has nothing to do with

the love of god

if there is no indication that god does

not love us because he allows us to go

the disappointments we just said

he’s got a tremendous purpose in mind

and oftentimes fantastic purpose in mind

oftentimes he’s in the process of

growing us up spiritually has nothing to

do with love now watch what the

scripture says

scripture says for example when they

sent this message they sent the message

it said behold

he whom you love is sick so certainly

they knew that jesus loved lazarus and

that he loved them

now jesus loved martha and her sister

and lazarus so they had this wonderful

loving relationship

god in their relationship with each

other and so there was no question about

that

now what i want you notice is this

jesus response to them with silence

that’s hard it’s like you’re praying in

some great difficulty

and your prayers are getting to the

ceiling and they’re just bouncing around

hitting the wall and coming back and

you’re thinking god where are you

remember this whenever you feel that

away he’s where he’s always been

right here god doesn’t move thank god he

does he doesn’t move

i may move you may move we may not be

able to find him in our own mind in the

heart where we think he ought to be

feeling what we ought to feel

he hasn’t moved his love has not changed

disappointments do not mean that god

doesn’t love us sometimes

those disappointments in fact if we will

respond right he will turn every single

one of them into something fantastically

good in our life

we will profit from the disappointments

but if we get into this

this mode well god you if you loved me

you wouldn’t let this happen

and yes i am disappointed and i’m hurt

and

um lord why don’t you do this and why

don’t you do that

that’s not the issue because think about

this

if you love somebody you always want

what’s best for them

if you love someone you will always try

to provide what is best for them

does god love us yes does he always want

what’s best for us

always not sometimes not most of the

time always he wants what’s best

does he provide his best for us always

do we always experience the best

no why because we’re not willing to

surrender to what his best is because

here’s what i want you remember

that god god’s choice of our best

isn’t always our choice we think we have

needs that god knows we don’t have

we don’t think we have needs that god

knows we do have

and so oftentimes in our disappointments

because we lose

or because there’s loss because there’s

separation because

something happens out there that that

absolutely

places us in the position of being so

disappointed

we cry out god how could you love me and

allow this

and all the time god is

loving us you know why i know that

because it’s his nature to love he can’t

do anything else

not told his children told his children

he loves us no matter what’s going on in

our life

will he allow us to go through painful

difficult trying

heart searching rending times yes does

that mean for a brief moment he cease to

love us no

does that mean that somehow god’s love

is less than no

is his love for us waning no is there

something that we have done

or something we’ve missed somewhere

along the way that he couldn’t possibly

love us the same anymore no and yet

there are a lot of people who believe

that that somewhere along the way you

must have done something

that god can’t quite love you quite as

much as he used to yes he does

now here’s the problem when i’m hurting

and this pain and and the pain is so

intense

i mean sometimes it’s difficult to feel

his love and the pain at the same time

that’s when you have to go not by

feeling

but by fact the fact is the truth is

god loves me just as much in my tears in

my hurt

in my crying in my in my pain and my in

my

sense of emptiness at the moment he

loves me just as much now

as when everything is going my way you

can’t go by feeling

and so in our disappointments has

nothing to do with it he loves us or not

well let’s move on to something else for

example

faith that god is in control

will enable us listen it will enable us

to endure

every single discipline in life now here

is a major key

faith that god is in control if god is

not in control of your life

you are a victim you’re a victim of

circumstances

if he’s not in control of your life

here’s what life is like if he’s not in

control of our lives

we’re like people in a little one-man

raft

out in the middle of the pacific ocean

in a storm and you know what we don’t

know what’s going to happen

if god is not in control of your life

you don’t have any assurance of anything

absolutely nothing whatsoever no

assurance of anything if god’s not in

control

very important that you not remember

this when we face disappointments

one thing listen the bottom line the

foundational truth is

god is in control of your life if you’ve

trusted him as your personal savior

i don’t understand what he’s up to i

don’t know how long this this

disappointment is going to last

i don’t know what the end result is but

i know that my god is in control he’s

going to turn it for my good

no matter what once you settle that

issue

you will be able to look beyond any

disappointment in life

and know that god’s up to something good

when you surrender your conviction that

god is in control

you give up the basis of your

absolute peace and joy and contentment

and faith

in difficult times in life and you’re

out there swimming on your own and my

friend

you’ll be sorry it just doesn’t work

that way

she knew she said she said even now

even now i know no matter what i’m

seeing

no matter what i hear no matter what i

see even now i know

that you’re in control whatever you ask

is going to happen well let’s move on

something else i want you to notice and

that’s this

that peace will prevail in the midst of

our disappointments

when we learn to wait upon the lord

peace will prevail

in the midst of our disappointments when

we learn to wait upon the lord you say

well now how could

you think that martha and mary had peace

they had a sense of underlying peace

because they knew that jesus they knew

jesus listen

while they were disappointed in the fact

that he didn’t show up

and they didn’t understand what was

going on deep down inside

when she said i know

that whatever you ask the father is

going to he’ll give it to you

there was this overwhelming sense of

peace that amidst the does that mean no

pain no

listen you can have pain and sorrow and

hurt

and disappointment and be grieved in

your spirit

but underlying that there’s this

indescribable layer of peace that

absolutely cannot be moved because

of your simple faith and trust in god i

don’t like it god

i’m hurting i’m painful i’m disappointed

lord you know what’s going on

and yet in spite of all that i know

that you’re in control and i know that

you only want what’s best for me and i

know

you’re only going to do what’s best for

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me