vHow do we know what our unmet needs are? Dr. Stanley teaches the importance of distinguishing between needs and desires. God is a good God, and He wants to give us not only what we need, but also the desires of our hearts—pleasures that fit who we are as children of God. Identifying needs versus desires will help us gain proper perspective when it comes to our apparent unmet needs.
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timeless truths
a collection of classic sermons from dr
charles stanley
today’s selection recorded in 1998
discovering our real needs
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do you have unmet needs in your life
well you’re not alone because everywhere
you turn you’re going to meet people who
will say
yes i do have unmet needs in my life in
fact that’s the story of all of humanity
today
but let me ask you a question can you
identify what those unmet needs are
or is it something you just feel down
inside and you can’t quite tell what it
is
and if you do have those unmet needs and
all of us do
how does that affect your relationship
to other people how does it affect
relationship to yourself
how does it affect your relationship to
almighty god
how are you going about meeting those
unmet needs in your life
well what i want to talk about in this
passage and in this particular message
in this entire series is simply this and
that is
god can meet those unmet needs in your
life
he is the one who can meet them no
matter what is going on
the problem is oftentimes we don’t even
know what they are
but we do have a god who can meet those
unmet needs and i want you to turn if
you will the philippians chapter 4
and verse 19 and you’ll recall that the
apostle paul
is talking here about how god has
blessed him
the things that he’s learned he’s
writing this from a prison
and he says he’s learned to be content
in all circumstances
he’s learned that he can do all things
through christ
and he’s learned also that god will
supply all needs
and so in this 19th verse as he comes
down to the latter part of this last
chapter
here’s what he says and my god shall
supply
all your need listen all your needs
according
to his riches in glory in christ jesus
and that is a very simple promise it’s
an awesome promise if you now look at it
and there’s a way that you and i have to
claim those promises from god
so what i’d like to talk about in this
message is this and that is discovering
the real need god can
listen god can meet all of our unmet
needs
but the issue is do i understand what
they are
how to discover those unmet needs so i
want to begin
this particular message by simply asking
the question and talking about
this facet of and that’s this how do we
identify
what these unmet needs are if i don’t
identify them properly
then i won’t even know whether god’s
answered them or not if i don’t know
what those needs are
i won’t know how to go about asking god
to meet those needs
if you’ll notice in this passage what he
says he says
my god shall supply all your needs
according this riches in glory in christ
jesus
well the two issues here that we have to
deal with number one we have to
distinguish between
needs and desires if there is a need the
the key word in need is something that
is essential
something that is required in order for
us to become the persons god wants us to
be or to do the things god wants us to
do
or to fulfill his particular plan and
purpose and will for our life
so those things would fall in under the
category of needs
and then of course there’s the whole
idea of desires
desire the key word is enjoyment
something that god wants to provide for
my life
there’s nothing wrong with having
desires because he says
that if you and i obey him he says
there’ll be no want
god will provide not only the needs of
our life but he’ll also
he’ll also provide those desires that we
have that fit into god’s plan and
purpose for our enjoyment
and pleasure of life if it is a need
certainly god has promised to meet those
needs
and certainly if it is a desire i have a
legitimate right to ask god lord
here’s what i would like to have or
here’s some form of enjoyment here’s
some pleasure i’d like to participate in
knowing
that if it’s not listen if it is
unscriptural god’s not going to answer
that prayer
if it is unscriptural and god were to
give it that wouldn’t be god being good
god is good and because of his goodness
he gives us not only what we need
but he also gives us what we desire when
what we desire is good for us he said
there’ll be no want to those
who obey him who fear the lord and to
fear him means to obey him
and so if i if i am committed to being
obedient to him
i can ask him whatever i will and i know
that if i’m walking in obedience to him
what i’m going to ask will be his will
and
if it is not he will show me that it’s
not and he will show me what i do have
the privilege of asking for
so the first thing we have to do is
distinguish between needs and
those desires the second thing we have
to deal with here is this
and that is we have to distinguish
between
what are surface or external needs and
what are
internal needs that is what what’s needs
in my life are internal and what are
external now
most people spend most of their time
trying to deal
with external needs surface needs for
example
what we wear what we drive where we live
saving our money so our kids can go to
college automobiles all those
things that we need all those very
definite needs and there’s nothing wrong
with those
in fact god certainly understands that
he said in that sixth chapter of matthew
the sermon on the mount
he said don’t be anxious for all these
things food clothing and shelter
he said don’t be anxious don’t strive
for these because your father knows
what you have need of and the apostle
paul said here in this fourth chapter
philippians that there was a time
also when he had need and he was
commending them he said for example he
said
i know how to get along with humble
means i know how to get along with
prosperity
in every circumstance i’ve learned the
secret of being filled and going hungry
both of having abundance and suffering
need
so therefore god understands that we
have needs and he desires to meet those
needs now
the issue is this am i only interested
in god meeting my external needs
surface needs themes material and
physical things that we talked about or
am i equally as interested and do i
realize that it may be
that my true genuine need is not
something external it’s not material
it’s not physical
but something internal maybe it is a
spiritual need
some emotional need i do believe that
most people
spend probably 95 of their time trying
to deal with external needs material
needs
physical needs never realizing that what
is motivating the very desire for some
physical and material need
is a is a spiritual need an emotional
need an
internal need on the inside they never
even thought about
and even if they thought about it they’d
probably be scared to death to
even begin to consider it for example
maybe
what’s going on inside of you is a as a
sense of rejection and oftentimes people
shut that down immediately the very idea
of looking on the inside to discover
what’s really motivating
us what’s really driving us sometimes is
a very
frightening thing and so therefore they
suppress it
they deny it they get busy whatever it
might be anything
but deal with the true need on the
inside that motivates them and drives
them
now what i want to do is i want to talk
about the three
essential universal needs that every
single person has
needs that god has placed into the life
of every person
and underlying those three awesome needs
that god has given all of us
is an underlying foundational need so
what i’d like to do
is to talk about these three needs
remember what the apostle paul said he
said
my god shall supply all
your needs according to this riches in
glory in christ jesus now
but if i don’t know what they are i
won’t even know how to pray about them
if i don’t know what they are i won’t
even ask about them
i’ll be asking about things that on the
surface that
appear to be our needs so i want to give
you three words
the first word is belonging
god is placed in every single person a
desire
and a sense of belongingness we all want
to belong god implanted that in the life
of every one of us
and so you look for example in the very
first book of the bible when god created
man
and he created all the animals and all
the creation and so forth everything
that god had done he said it’s all good
except one thing
adam is alone he needs somebody with
whom
he can belong to them and they can
belong to him
someone who can speak his language
someone with whom he can be
intimate someone with whom he can feel
oneness with and so what did god do
god gave him a woman eve and so you look
at the whole creation
and from that point on we see that god
has given to
to adam a person with whom he can belong
and then you go down through the down
through the scriptures and down to the
centers and what do you find
you find not only did he give adam eve
but he created the family
and so we all belong to a family we want
to have this feeling
of belonging to a family well that
wasn’t enough for example we all have we
belong to a nation
and of course most of all we belong to
the church that is the body of christ
all of us who believe us we belong to
the most
awesome organization the most awesome
entity there is that is the body of
christ jesus christ is the lord of the
church he’s the head of the church
every single believer belongs to the
body of christ now it has nothing to do
with denominations though you may choose
to belong to a particular denomination
there’s nothing wrong with that
but ultimately we belong to the body of
christ and if you’ll think again also
the bible says that you and i belong
to the family of god that is we are all
sons and daughters of the living god so
this whole idea of belonging
is very important to god he’s the one
who’s placed that desire in our heart
that we belong so if i should say to you
name me one need that god has placed in
everybody’s life
universally it’s there what is it
belonging the second one
the second need now watch this and that
is
worthiness that we that there that we
have a sense of worth about us and by
that i simply mean this we can
say you know i’m good now that does not
mean i’m good enough to be saving in
myself
it means i’m somebody worth knowing
you’re somebody worth knowing
you’re somebody you’re being somebody
worth knowing does not have anything to
do
with anything else except that you’re a
person you
you are a worthy person and you see when
a person does not feel
a sense of worth they have all kinds of
problems when somebody
rejects you it is islam not only against
your sense of belonging
but also against your sense of
self-worth because it says
i must be a nobody i must be a nobody or
they would invite me in
i must not i must not be worth anything
and many many people go through life
never feeling that they are worth
knowing that they are
worth loving and oftentimes this is a
reason i i know in my heart the reason
that oftentimes people
will never be able to love or be loved
is because
they don’t feel worthy of it so what do
they do if you don’t feel worthy here’s
what you do you start building up walls
and you build walls and build walls and
build walls until finally
listen not only can not anybody get in
because you don’t want them in
if they got in they would find out how
unworthy you are
and uh therefore how inadequate you are
and therefore they wouldn’t like you so
you build a wall around you
you keep them out but when you build
that wall to keep them out what are you
also doing
you’re building a wall around yourself
to imprison yourself
to keep yourself in you are a worthy
person you know how i know that
here’s what god says he says we are
listen this
we are his workmanship god doesn’t make
any junk we are his workmanship
created in christ jesus under good works
which he foreordained
that you and i should walk in them we
are persons of listen that word
workmanship means persons of notable
excellence
you said well i’ve never felt that a way
in my life has nothing to do how you
feel
it has to do with who god says you are
what you have to decide is you’re going
to believe what god says about you
are you going to believe what somebody
says about you and remember this they
change their opinion about you about
every other day
people change their opinions that’s why
when when when people say well you know
i’m just real concerned about what
people think well you can forget that
you’ll never have into peace and
happiness
in your life because your sense of
self-worth has nothing to do with that
now
what is the first leg on this tripod of
absolute essential
needs in life what’s the first one
belonging what’s the second one
worthiness and the third one is
competence
that is i can god has given to every
single one of us a sense of competence
now i can’t do everything that other
people can do
but he has given all of us he desires
that you and i succeed in whatever we do
in life
and competence says you know i can do
that god has given us a sense of comfort
he wants us to feel
listen adequate now you say well now
wait a minute now didn’t you preach a
sermon on
on the blessings of inadequacy
absolutely correct but i want you to
notice something
the apostle paul said we are so
inadequate but in christ jesus we’re
adequate
what did paul say in philippians chapter
4 verse 13 he said
i can do all things through christ who
strengthens me
his sense of adequacy was not within
himself but was because of his
relationship to christ
and so what did god do in order to make
us
sense and feel adequate here’s what he
did you remember what he said to his
disciples he said now
don’t leave town until the spirit of god
has anointed
you and filled you don’t leave town
without him
and so they didn’t they waited until the
spirit of god anointed them
filled them up and so from that moment
on the holy spirit has come to dwell
every single believer so you say well
now isn’t that sort of egotistical no
listen to this carefully when you trust
the lord jesus christ as your personal
savior
the bible says not only are your sins
are forgiven and you’re brought back
into a right relationship with god
but the scripture says the holy spirit
one of the persons of the trinity
comes into your life and he says he
seals you
unto the day of redemption he seals you
as a child of god
for that moment when god takes you home
he’s living on the inside of us now
if you will examine what the bible
teaches about the holy spirit here’s
what you’ll discover
i’ve said this before and i’m going to
keep on saying this because it’s so
important
every single work of the holy spirit
with no exception is directed toward
an area of our life where we have a need
that we ourselves
cannot fulfill that’s why i sent him
listen he sent the holy spirit in order
that you and i may become the persons
god wants us to be
and to be able to do the things that god
wants us to do
god listen he desires that you and i
feel competent
when we say to someone you can’t do that
what we’re saying is you’re not
confident i know god says you are but
you’re not
now we all have to learn skills we all
have to practice
we all have to learn those things but to
say to somebody you can’t well how do
you know they can’t
and it’s interesting how many people
keep breaking all kinds of athletic
records
someone 10 years ago would have said you
can’t do that
and somebody may say to a 17 year old
boy well
you’ll never be able to jump that high
nobody’s ever jumped that high
just let him grow up let him practice
let him work at it
you see you listen god has made
you competent he has made you capable
he has made you adequate to do in christ
jesus
and through your relationship to him do
well everything
god will call you to do you are adequate
you are competent now if you say
you know i feel so unworthy i don’t feel
like i belong
i feel rejected i feel unwanted i feel
shut out i feel isolated
i feel all these things then you see you
can take all these passages of scripture
one after the other
one after the other and look at all
these passages and read them and read
them and read them but you know what
until you discover that basic
underlying need that’s motivating you
challenging and driving you
you’ll never have any peace you’ll
always be looking for acceptance and
always be
looking for some you see if you’re
living your life and you go to work in
the morning
and your antennas are out for some
compliment because the way you look
you know what suppose everybody’s real
business they don’t pay attention to you
is that going to is that going to give
you a bad day all day
or suppose you don’t do the best job
possible one day does that mean that you
failed
no it may have meant you had a bad day
that day
everybody has difficult days on days and
off days
or on weeks and off weeks whatever it
might be what i want you to see is this
our needs our unmet needs are so often
those things that are deep down inside
of us that have nothing to do with
appearance
performance or status there’s nothing to
what we wear
or what people think about us it has to
do with our relationship to god now look
at this
we have a need to belong so what did he
do he sent his only begotten son and
saved us and made us one of his children
put his loving arms around us and he
says that you’re not going to belong to
him forever and ever and ever
what can separate us from the love of
god he lists these things the ultimate
conclusion is nothing
so my sense of belonging is wrapped up
in an intimate relationship with him no
matter what somebody else thinks
somebody says well my sense of
self-worth your sense of self what’s
wrapped up in a relationship to him
what do you see this is why he sent
jesus christ to the cross listen
the greatest expression in the whole
world
time and eternity of your worth is the
cross the crucifixion of jesus
that says you’ll worth everything to god
don’t deprive him of yourself
your sense of confidence he sent the
holy spirit to enable you to do anything
and everything that the will of god
desires for you to do and plans for you
and purposes for you to do
so watch this if my emotional health is
wrapped up in
my sense of number one is what belonging
number two is what
worthiness number three is what
confidence
all of that rest on an eternal
foundation what is that
almighty god
you see it all rest upon a relationship
with him
if you have an intimate relationship
with him you know what what somebody
thinks about you
is going to last about that long whether
you
blow it at some particular area not
that’s not you know what i’ll do about
it tomorrow
and whether you whether you
have people’s approval has nothing to do
with your worth
i want you to remember this your sense
of self-worth
your listen your sense of belonging and
your sense of confidence listen to this
carefully
it’s wrapped up in a personal
relationship
with jesus christ so therefore if i want
to be
a whole person if i want to be an
emotionally
and spiritually whole person what am i
going to do
i’m going to first of all trust the lord
jesus christ as my savior
that means that i’m going to accept what
god says about him
that he’s the son of god who came into
this world to die on a cross he took my
sin dead and fully and paid it in full
made me very very worthy when he did
that
and the moment i receive him as my
personal savior i become a child of god
then what happens my sense of worth
and my sense of belonging and my sense
of confidence
is not listen is now related to a person
who will never disappoint me who will
listen
who will never cast me out who will
never
think i’m unworthy and who will never
make me
incompetent why because he’s a loving
god
who wants the best and has provided the
best for us
now let me ask you a question
on the basis of all of this what is the
deepest need you have in your life
if you’ve never trusted jesus your
deepest need is a personal relationship
with him through christ
that’s the first need if you are a child
of god
and you’ve thought about the surface and
external needs that you have
but you’ve also begun to think this
morning about
those internal those those things down
inside that have
bothered you for a long time and maybe
you never you just didn’t even want to
deal with them you didn’t want to face
them
what is the mo listen what is
the most troubling unmet
need in your life right now
are you willing to look
are you willing to open it up and say
god
show me what is this need in my life
why do i feel what i feel why do i feel
so hurt
why do i feel so shut out why do i feel
such pain why am i so driven
he’ll show you you say well if i just
confess that is it over no
now listen very carefully
you see feelings and attitudes that
we’ve had for years and years and years
and years and years
just because you recognize it you open
up and recognize it doesn’t mean that
you’re healed
the healing process begins when you say
god
i felt rejected all of my life but i
realized today that you’ve accepted me
you accepted me because of my
relationship to christ
king james version is best on this it
says accept it in the beloved
why are you not accepted before god
because of our relationship to him
that’s why we’re accepted
i just want to challenge you to be
willing
to examine your heart
your emotions your feelings to find out
what’s the real need
and remember this our heavenly father is
going to meet that need
he’s going to show you how to think
right about who you are
and how he wants to operate in your life
you know what you’re going to get free
you’re going to get liberated you’re
going to begin to be able to look
anybody
square in their face and know in your
heart listen i am somebody important in
the eyes of god
i am confident to do whatever god wants
me to do and most of all i belong to my
heavenly father you know what friend you
will get set free
for the asking you will get set free
and so that’s what i want to pray for
you right now father in jesus name
i pray the holy spirit will take this
simple message
drive it home to the heart of every
person who has heard it
and who will hear it that you will grant
courage to every single person
to look inside examine allow you to show
them what those needs are
and then assure them you
will meet those needs you will set them
free
they will become the persons you ordain
them to be
but we ask it in jesus name and for his
sake
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amen