Bill Johnson and Dan Farrelly discuss humility, fighting on the same team, how to keep loving God passionately, and put Him first in your marriage.

so folks that are just newly married if

you could give him a couple of things to

you know remember like that are you

probably on doing much premarital

counseling anymore

and imagine thank you Jesus yeah but

what are like you know three or four

things you would just say to them like

hey remember this and hold on to this or

you know your humility is a big deal in

any relationship you know it’s not

having to be right goes a long ways in

valuing a person that you actually value

a person more than your opinion and that

helps a lot I give an illustration it’s

kind of a violent one but it gets the

point across I have a funny way to hear

it now yeah yeah I was shot I have a

friend who was deer hunting and he saw

this deer and he pulled his gun up to

shoot and he shot the deer but as he

shot he noticed the hunter on the other

side of the deer who was also shooting

the deer as it turned out he shot the

deer the other hunter shot him he

obviously lived because he lived to tell

me the story and anytime any couple

married couple faces a problem and

they’re not standing together they have

the chance of shooting each other mm-hm

and so I I try to get them to isolate

the problem as set another was she’s not

the problem he’s not the problem yeah

you’ve got a financial issue brings a

lot of tension isolate it separate from

the two of you and then together begin

to address it and that seems to help it

it helps me in my thinking how can we

address the situation so how can I fix

you you know exactly yeah yeah my goal

isn’t to change you to my goal is we’ve

got this added pressure or life it’s our

neighbors our finances it’s our relative

it’s their in-laws it’s you know

whatever it might be

in everyday homes and so together let’s

just see if we do we can just

acknowledge it and face it together and

give each other help and wisdom mm-hmm

so humility one of the ways that you

would advise newlyweds or I’m sure it

works all throughout marriage like so I

know it does because I yes yeah would

you say to folks

the you know the main thing is is

passionate practical love for God I mean

it really it really does you know if I

love God with all of my heart there’s

more love to love my wife with then if I

make her number one mm-hmm if I make her

number one it puts her in a in a in an

ugly position she she can’t fill but if

I if I really give myself to honor the

Lord then what I’m going to do is I’m my

decisions are really going to be for her

according to what God values mm-hmm and

you know that’s that’s what every wife

wants anyway it’s what every husband

wants anyways they want they want they

want to be valued authentically for who

they are not just for what I can make

you to become mm-hmm and this so that

just goes a long way when there’s that

kind of celebration in life and so I

think just loving loving God well in a

practical way where it affects the way I

think about people the way I celebrate

people the way I look to invest in

people you know the you know the men are

have historically had been quick to

point out wives be subject to the

husbands and they forget that they’ve

got the heavy mandate and that’s loving

like Jesus loved the church and he ended

up dying because it was love so that

sets a pretty high standard and it’s not

hard for a wives to take their place

when they’ve got a husband who dies for

them you know on a daily basis and

that’s really it’s it has to become

practical can’t be this theory it can’t

be just a point of doctrine it’s got to

be this is the way I live life yeah I

live life with you in mind

mm-hmm for your benefit you for your

where for for what you think is valuable

not what I think is valuable for you

yeah and so I I think that’s I think

that’s helpful I think is practical may

be said um it’s not hard for wives to

take their place by that you mean it’s

not hard for them have a stance of

respect and mutual respect or you know

there’s a lot of resistance to any kind

of influence even in homes Christian

homes sometimes of a man influencing the

wife because she wants to be this

independent person you know they’re

better as it

and there is a roll there is a there is

a way it works and if if the husband is

laying his life down on a daily basis

with affectionate and care and concern

for that person investing in them so

that they can become everything around

the woman are being crazy to not to not

be attracted to that

yes that’s it’s you know it’s it’s the

old story of the of the husband that

gave us his wife a list of what he

expected from her and she tried the

whole marriage and she could never

fulfill the list it was just

continuously frustrating years go by he

dies she gets remarried and she finds

this list with this new husband who

treats her like a queen as she reached

through the list she finds that she’s

doing everything on the list because of

love that she couldn’t do out of wall

mm-hmm

I mean it’s it’s a great it’s a great

illustration how this thing works yeah

no just love well it really is what it

comes down to a love well let it be

sacrificial let it be measurable mm-hmm

yeah look let it be humble yeah

and yeah that’s true yeah attack life

together yeah