A beloved actress, writer and speaker, Lisa Whelchel has captured the hearts of fans since she was thirteen years old. For nine years, Lisa starred as Blair Warner on “The Facts of Life” and went on to become a popular author and speaker. She continues to be in the spotlight and recently participated in CBS’s “Survivor: Philippines” hit series. Join Priscilla Shirer and Lisa Whelchel for this fun episode of The Chat!
this is going to be a great opportunity
for us to get to know each other even
better I always love when you come to
the chat with Priscilla we’re going to
sit down in our virtual living room and
have a great conversation with a
wonderful guest you’re going to want to
stay tuned okay so grab your favorite
drink cappuccino hot tea coffee you know
whatever it is you’ve got and get
comfortable we’re gonna have a great
time together
I am so glad that you are here listen
this is part 2 of a conversation we’ve
already been having so if you’ve not
seen part 1 yet then you need to make
sure to go back and see part 1 because
we are just now continuing a
conversation that’s already been going
on with the most wonderful woman she’s a
wonderful woman to me and you’re going
to think so – after we continue this
conversation would you please welcome
Lisa Whelchel so we’ve already been
doing a whole lot of talking about some
of the formative years of your life but
we need to get kind of present day we
know where you are right now and what’s
been happening right now in your life
but to get us there recently I think
just a couple of years ago you were on a
little television program called
survivor yes we want to know how that
even happened
what happened first of all momentary
insanity yes but also because I love the
show I’ve watched every episode of every
season I’m come from a family of game
players we play board games I had a game
Club in my home when my kids were little
so I loved to play games and it seemed
like the just the ultimate game very
extreme Lisa yes monopoly survivor
exactly finally and that was I think
that was one of the hardest things about
it is that I wasn’t playing with a
little shoe and a little you know dog
and a play money yeah exactly I was
playing with real people with that I
actually liked and became friends with
and so that was the hardest thing for me
it wasn’t even yes the physical aspect
was horrendous
I talked to us about the visit what did
you actually have to go through we saw
some of it but it’s all really we want
to know where there’s no comparison to
what really happens you know we the
first 17 days it rained straight so we
were never dry and we were never warm it
was freezing and we would sleep either
in wet jeans or a bathing suit and
actually the bathing suit was warmer
than the wet jeans and that was even
freezing and then to get warm you got to
snuggle up with everybody but then
nobody’s taking a bath so that’s like
hmm cold or how many days did you go
without taking a bath
Oh 39 days without taking bath or you
know washing my hair or you know there
was no bathroom facilities and you know
we use leaves um yeah so this would make
you want to do that
what made you fur when they called you
and said first of all tell me cause you
well I actually you know made an
audition tape because I wanted to be I
volunteered for this I am in an audition
tape because I’ve you know I wanted to
play this game and you know that kind of
thing I mean I I’m I don’t want you at
my hair people don’t know people know
how tough you really are like this is a
woman you need to know that decided that
she wanted to just just enter her walk
with the Lord and growing spiritually
she decided she wanted to go on a silent
backpacking no talking kind of fast trip
somewhere tell us what you did it was
some journey you did kind of by yourself
for your spiritual growth yeah I mean
yeah that was and I mean and then yeah
okay so and then I decided after this
little kind of fast thing well I’m gonna
you know what I want to continue this
fast so I’m going on a forty day fast so
you know I just continued it so that
kind of thing going without food you
know kind of depriving myself that
really wasn’t the hard part it was the
emotional part that we know how tough
you are they kind of see that this part
and they’re thinking Blair and they
don’t know that actually you’re pretty
rough and tumble actually you kind of
like you have the ability to for your
body to be in an extreme state that
might cause other people to kind of
falter and faint and back out and you’re
able to really endure a lot what do you
in tribute attribute that to why is that
you know what it’s not I don’t think
it’s necessarily a good thing I think
that I have really kind of been you know
we are body soul and spirit and when God
wanted us to know what his love looked
like he came in the body in the flesh so
there is he celebrates the body and
humanity but um I think a lot of it even
had to do
with just kind of being raised from the
time I was little in the church I
equated when he says you know don’t give
place to the flesh that you know the
body and so I have really disconnected
from the body as if that’s a bad thing
and and so I haven’t been in touch with
my body so I haven’t listened to it I
haven’t given it a voice I haven’t felt
what it’s feeling and paid attention to
take care of it because I thought I was
doing a good thing by kind of cutting
off from it in order to be more
spiritual just kind of
compartmentalizing your life the
spiritual part is more important forget
the physical part and I have missed out
on the lot of the beauty of our humanity
mm-hmm yes one of those things we talked
about in part one was just connecting
with other people being open and
vulnerable and sharing your life with
them some of that was cut off from you
because of the you know your ability to
kind of distance yourself and keep
yourself separate right because not only
look is the body because we are
interconnected that also had a lot of to
do with the emotions and because if
their body and emotions and mind and
will I lived most of my life in my mind
in my will figure out what is the right
thing to do how to do it engage my will
and just do it and I call that godliness
I called that yeah I’m walking I’m you
know I’m walking by faith faith is not
feeling I am walking you know I’m
obeying and I’m not paying attention you
know I’m not giving place to the flesh
and you know it did keep me out of a lot
of trouble you know it did but it also
kept me from the fullness of
experiencing right grace and
experiencing connection in with with
other people and that’s a whole big part
of God he is very relational yes and he
gave us our emotions that are a
beautiful thing and I was missing out on
a lot of the beauty that was available
to me because I was afraid of it I was
afraid of my heart I was afraid of my
flesh I was afraid I was going to make a
mistake and mess up and so not really
taking God at his word that grace covers
all that and it’s really
not about me so even though it looked
like I was doing it for God to be a
really good Christian I was actually
just a really good Pharisee in a lot of
ways very legalistic yep yeah okay so
you go on Survivor you do not take a
bath for 39 days you were rained on for
17 days you’re in freezing temperatures
in a bathing suit trying to get warm
with all these other people you’re
eating rice unrolling rice yeah how long
we didn’t have fire for the first 10
days and so we just ate rice out of the
bag because we couldn’t cook it yeah you
know and it really didn’t it wasn’t it
wasn’t new nourishing is bad not nice to
us chew on I personally like a little
gravy on my rice okay and so what was
the hardest part what was the hardest
part of Survivor for you and would you
ever do it again okay see that would of
all the things that I would think twice
about doing and not regret that you know
that would survivor it took me a while
to say okay I would do that again but
yes I would do it again because it
changed me really it should change it
well a lot of it had to do with what I
was just talking about and that I had so
spent my life wanting to be good because
I equated good with godliness equated
good with being a good testimony for
with being a good Christian I wanted I
took very seriously my platform that God
had given me and I wanted to use it to
draw people to him and so if I’m going
to be like Jesus then I need to act like
Jesus but you know what we’re not to act
like Jesus we’re to be like Jesus and I
was acting or Jesus there is a big
difference and we can only be like Jesus
when we connect the humanity and the
divinity and so I would I realized
because on Survivor it takes everything
away from you and you are exposed for
every no for whatever is in there and
then I left you in a very emotional
state you were very emotional show and
it also left me very raw and I could not
help but see as much as I had tried
disconnect from it there was a very
selfish part of
me that wanted to knock you out so I
could get ahead there was a part of me
that wanted to put a million dollars
above relationship there was a part of
me that wanted to gain I knew I’m going
in that’s I do it right I couldn’t you
could force myself from the from my life
and because I knew it was a game I know
it was a game but then I also knew that
people are the real people well and
people and tell them watching on
television I had you know said I’m a
Christian and then if I acted like you
know lying and betraying and
backstabbing I know it’s a game but I
was afraid that was gonna put a blight
on you know I was no longer I was just
gonna being one more of those Christians
that when it came down to it I was gonna
you know just forget myself you struggle
with that on that show you grow you were
sitting in a corner balled up in a fetal
position trying to figure out what to do
do I play the game and do you really
think that it that it really does boil
down to that that in a situation where
it is a game that is why everyone is
here that your Christianity is best seen
when you choose even in the instance
where it’s all a game and we all know it
not to betray or lie or play the game do
you feel like your faith needed to be
expressed where you choose even though
we’re all here for the game I’m not
gonna play the game because I want to
make sure that no one maligns the name
of Jesus because I lied or but yay for
me it was important to accept all parts
of myself that part that was very human
and wasn’t very christ-like
and that to be able to say yes both
sides are me and it’s the wholeness that
is accepted by God not just the good
it’s not because that is you know that
is legalism and that is proof that works
and so for me I think I needed to be
able to just go out there and play the
game and know in my head this is just a
game and just leave that up to the
audience to choose what they wanted to
believe and not care so so much that was
the journey I needed to be on but I
don’t know that it’s the journey that
everybody you know in that situation
would need to be on but for me I
remember when God was
really going to eyes he was trying to
teach me about grace and this is about
eight years ago and I remember saying to
him oh I really do want to learn about
grace I just don’t want to need grace
because if I need grace that means I’ve
messed up and I still equated messing up
with separation from God with him with
just not not pleasing him and I needed
to mess up and I think it’s one of the
reasons why I got into a situation where
there was permission to do all these
things that all of us has I and what did
you choose have you ever felt
overwhelmed or like your life was so
stress filled and stressful but you just
you couldn’t even enjoy your life
anymore what if I told you there was a
little secret there is something that
the Jewish people have been doing for
years and centuries there’s a discipline
that is a regular part of their lives
that has caused many of them to be able
to steer clear of the stress-filled
existence that many of us and are
accustomed to we will always be drawn
don’t reduce things and God knows this
this is why he puts boundaries in place
it’s gonna be a journey through the
Scriptures that is gonna help us to
enjoy life the way God always intended
in the end at the very end like in the
last few days I chose to play the game
and to play it hard and to you know to
just say really and there was a whole
nother lesson once it aired and got a
lot of bad feedback you know cuz the
Christians were saying you are not being
a good witness and then the people that
aren’t Christians are saying well you
know you need to get your big-girl
panties on and play the game or get off
the island so there was no pleasing and
in then just to realize you know what
you are so right both of you are right
and isn’t that a lesson in and of itself
that no matter what you do whether you
don’t have to be a survivor for that to
be a lesson right no matter what you do
there’s going to be somebody over here
that you should have done differently
somebody over here that should have done
it differently and so ultimately it is
okay Lord what do you want me to do in
this particular scenario and I do it to
honor you at the exclusion of what
everybody else is going to think yes and
then also I think it’s not just
either/or it’s like I could say to both
of the camps yeah that’s that is so true
oh yeah you’re right too you know it’s
it’s okay end of god I’m going to try to
do my best but if I mess up that’s okay
too
the grace grace covers that so not
working so hard to please others or even
to please God I don’t have to work hard
to please God I am pleasing to God and
in that resting place I’m actually going
to probably please him more because I’m
actually taking his gift seriously yeah
not just kind of half okay you do that
part but just fill up what I can’t do
right okay when you got home when you
were booted off the show were you sad
that you were booted off because you
were in the top three she made it down
to the two the last three were you sad
that you were booted off or were you
grateful to the Lord that you were going
home to your soft bed well except in
when you make it to the final three you
all those 39 days it doesn’t matter so
there’s no more that days than that the
final three 39 days so would I have
liked to have gone 39 days with a
million dollars yeah
yeah I was sad I didn’t win yes okay but
when you got home what did you do what
was the first thing you did when you got
back to your life my daughter Mary but
in audience say did she take a bath I
did that
the night I was you know the tropical
final tribal council when I got home my
my kids met me at the airport and I had
a large route 44 sonic cherry lemonade
Hey hallelujah
and I’m very intrigued by the fact that
you say you would do that again if the
people from Survivor or well no no no I
would do that again you would have that
experience again I would do it again
I wouldn’t do it no there’s a whole
nother thank you I’m so glad I do no no
I would do it over again but I won’t
honor that is what yes but I would not
do the show again so never mind
yeah let scratch that do not call Lisa
Whelchel she does not want to do that
again my friend likes to eat too much
for the restroom okay what do you life
look like now you are how old I’m 51
you’re a good-looking fifteen yeah you
were good-looking fit anyone so we need
to know what you’re doing now how your
life looks different
what have you been surprised by in this
season of your life that you you when
you look forward to 50 51 50 years old
you just you didn’t know your life would
look like this or entail this I did not
expect to be divorced okay I did not
expect to be needing to figure out how
am I going to provide secure future for
myself how am I gonna have retirement
how am I gonna be able to I would really
like to be a full-time grandmother when
kids grandkids come along but am I gonna
you know gonna just am I going to be
working until the very end I mean that
was all those things there’s no way I
would I would I be living in an
apartment you know sharing a room with
one of my kids
you know I mean all that there’s would I
be wondering what am I going to do with
my life and starting over in every area
and I had I would certainly did not
picture that for myself the divorce are
on your family harder your kids are
grown now so how did that affect them
and how are you guys doing through all
of that your family divorce is going to
be hard on the whole family as far as
you know on a continuum I think it’s
about as good as it can get my kids were
grown we are all the whole family’s very
close I mean my ex-husband still travels
with me and is my road manager and we
speak you know when I’m speaking at
churches he’s the one that’s fronting
the gig and setting up the book table
and selling the stuff and traveling with
me so you know they’re still recovering
scenario most you know divorce
situations and you know when we we spend
all the holidays together he comes to
California we go out to dinner in a
movie so that is not the typical
scenario and so therefore you know the
it is filled with much much more grace
then I think it’s or it doesn’t well I
think you need grace no matter what yeah
but but it could be a lot more difficult
yes and it’s ended up being and you’ve
recently moved from Texas you are back
in California the land where you work or
so my hair’s a secret what do I want to
be when I grow up yeah because my kids
you know I’ve got a divorce about the
same time my last one was going off to
college and I’m it’s like oh wow I need
to actually make a living and plan
something and what can I do well I was
an actress about 25 years ago let me see
I thought you gonna try that again yeah
and has I love it you do love it
but so when you pulled away from it did
it feel like something was missing to
not be acting or during that season did
God give you the grace to walk away from
a go I didn’t expect that I would ever
go back into acting I really didn’t I
left it was great it wasn’t like I was
rejecting it but I loved being I would
and I would still I would love to just
be I mean I would love to just you know
write books and speak and be a
grandmother I enjoy acting but I’m
pursuing it because I would love to be
able to make money at something I enjoy
doing
and the jury’s out on that that’s gonna
happen you know you can’t just decide I
want to be an actress and go do it
there’s a lot of many more talented
acting actresses out there that aren’t
working and they’re all in my acting
class and it’s just you know
that’s a whole nother level of insecure
so you are in an acting class other
people would find that very interesting
because you’ve spent such a large chunk
of your life act and I’m the worst one
in my acting class not sure you’re not
okay no I am and I tell you why the
teacher tell you that you’re the worst
one what gives me many more notes
because the other ones look and a lot of
it has to do again back to that that
disconnect thing I love comedy because
comedy you can kind of stay above things
laugh a lot which is kind of what I do
in life but drama
you have to be in touch with your
emotions and you’ve got to give them
place and you’ve got to feel them and
let them Express through the text and
that’s what my acting class is about and
I said so in Long disconnecting from
emotions because they’re scary and I’m
afraid of them and they’ll be
overwhelming or I might do something
wrong or unchristian like or embarrass
myself and so to again in the context of
an acting class there’s permission yeah
to blow up and be angry which I would
not give myself permission to do in life
or you know the permission to be kind of
sexy you know in a scene and you know
it’s okay it’s in a scene but I wouldn’t
do it in real life but hey you know what
I’d like to be able to feel sexy that is
kind of part looking of sexy yes okay
look at mighty second we need to talk
about fifty one and six okay how are you
keeping your body in such great shape
our you know our bodies change so much
I’m getting ready to turn 40 we were
talking about this earlier and I have
just noticed stuff all of a sudden the
same exercises the same foods the same
regiment it just is not maintaining the
same way and it’s not not just weight
hair everything is just in your your
hormones seem to change everything
around and you’ve got to readjust what
have you found to be readjustments
you’ve had to make in this new decade of
your life what are you doing because you
look great you look healthy you look
well what what is what have you found is
working for you I’m really not a good
person to ask because I really am up and
down and I don’t have a real good
discipline routine I you know I try to
eat healthy but I also eat
anything I want just small portions or C
but that’s that’s a decision you’ve made
that’s actually huge for a lot of people
because I think some folks think that a
diet means you have to be so restrictive
that you’re not eating the things you
love yeah
no wait for me no they don’t work for me
either I like I need some fried chicken
oh yeah yeah and you can eat it but you
eat it in moderation yeah yeah that’s a
good meal you know I don’t feel like I’m
the person to ask because that’s that’s
not as much as I’ve struggled with my
weight I’ve never been able to make an
addiction out of it
[ __ ] that sounds like but like I like
those parts of me when I wanted to lose
weight it’s like okay yeah I’d like to
have an exercise addiction you know or
I’d like to be able to you know because
I that’s just that’s just never been I
mean my god I’m not giving yourself
enough credit your balance that’s what
you’re saying is you haven’t right an
addiction out of exercise or out of not
eating this not even you have just
decided I’m going to enjoy food I’m
going to enjoy exercise but you’ve also
done it in a way where you can stay
balanced and healthy and every once a
while I’ll hop on the treadmill you know
and and try to try to do that at least
three times a month so we will not take
your advice back to you
so has your body changed much from 40s
to 50s have you seen anything different
really are you still feeling you have
the same or I mean it’s changed yes it’s
all it’s always chase but see I have
been so body focused since I was 12 so I
haven’t you know I mean I have gone
through so many different my body has
changed so many times that I don’t know
what looks normal I don’t know what is
is as normal I’m always like 10 pounds
up or down mm-hmm well are you up right
now or down I’m about I’m about seven
pounds up it’s all in the right so we
can go have some fried chicken cuz I got
another three to go yeah exactly
okay what would you go back and tell
your 20 year old self if you could look
back and say girl let me tell you this
you don’t need to worry about this or
you do need to be more concerned about
this and even less than you thought
money away and don’t invest it cuz
investments not always a good thing yeah
I would say I would say really celebrate
this is a this is kind of a bold
statement
celebrate the dark as much as the light
because that is that’s what’s integrity
is wholeness and you can’t have the
light without experiencing the darkness
and there are treasures in the darkness
do you mean the ups and the downs by
light and dark what do you mean by dark
I would say in general the light in the
dark probably not the way we often
interpret it for like evil or good right
as much as the shadows and the the hard
things and what we would call even
negative emotions you know there is a
place for you know anger there’s a place
for fear even I know he said do not be
afraid but at the same time we don’t
know what it what it means to really
trust God for me I didn’t feel a lot of
those things so it you know it was great
I can say I you know I trust God but
when I don’t know you do until you’re in
a position where you you feel what it’s
like to acally yeah exactly and so I
would just say you know just it
celebrate the wholeness of life because
you don’t have to be so afraid of you
know don’t have to be so afraid that
acceptance and grace is not going to
cover everything and there’s so much to
learn in humanity and not just the
divine nature so it sounds to me like
you would tell your younger self to go
on the adventure experience all of it
don’t push some of it to the side
because you think it’s bad or wrong or
you’re not going to gain acceptance from
God or whoever because of this just go
ahead and group all of that together
don’t compartmentalize and just enjoy
fully everything mountains valleys light
dark yes and being you know the original
be naked and unashamed and naked means
you’re not
burn up the lumpy bumpy stuff because
you don’t have to because you know the
the gays and the delight of God doesn’t
change by the your performance or how
you look because he sees you know he
sees his little girl and his little girl
is utterly delightful to him I’m so glad
that your your 50 year old self has
discovered that yeah
because you are a beautiful wonderful
woman and it’s so neat to see how your
whole life has come together in a way
that you’ve got just this bright smile
on your face and this radiance about you
and it’s good to see you like this it’s
great to see I’m glad that your life is
so full and wonderful your kids are
healthy you’re healthy it’s a good
season in your life it is this great
season would you please thank her for
being
you