Marriage… In the beginning it was all fireworks and giddiness. The wooing of your spouse was forefront in every action and thought. Date nights and cuddling were the norm. Marriage… there are woes that come along as the relationship ages – and as YOU age! In a conversation with Casting Crowns front man Mark Hall and his wife Melanie, Priscilla discusses the fun & silly wooing days – contrasts them with the woes that are experienced along the way – and how a marriage can remain strong for those who keep their focus.
hey I’m Priscilla I’m so glad that
you’re joining me today it’s gonna be a
great episode of the chat this is the
place where we come and we just hang out
together
talk about things that are important and
today I’ve got a couple of folks that
are important not only because they are
known by lots of people they minister to
a lot of different people but because of
their private lives the integrity that
they hold in their private lives as
husband wife team that are serving the
body of Christ and doing it well we’re
gonna talk to them about marriage we’re
talking about your marriage why marriage
is such a beautiful thing and how God
can even take your messes and make a
miracle out of them in your marriage
it’s gonna be a great show so stay tuned
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because we’re talking to a couple of
folks that really are incredible people
have you heard of the group casting
Crowns well yeah of course you have
because who hasn’t they’ve been around
for quite some time and have been
creating incredible music that people
the world over have been enjoying
there’s an incredible couple as well as
others but this couple that we’re
meeting today today they’re kind of at
the core of casting Crowns and we’re
going to be talking with mark and
Melanie hall would you please help me to
welcome them this is actually our first
time meeting each other so we get to
have a first-time conversation right off
the bat this is your newest recording of
casting Crowns is that right yes would
you tell us before we talk about casting
grounds and just where you’ve come from
and and how God has brought you this far
just tell me about thrive but look I
love this that’s the roots of the tree
you wanted us to see the roots of the
trees arriving and reaching out yeah
well I’m a youth pastor at Eagles
Landing first about us in Atlanta I’ve
been a youth pastor half my life and the
name of our student ministry is called
thrive because of a mission trip we took
about eight years ago went off to
Alabama and somewhere in Alabama was at
Geneva Geneva Alabama we come out upon
this tree this monumental tree you can
see giant old trees anywhere else in the
country but not in Alabama
they’re all pines and the tornadoes just
knock them over every year so so we see
this tree that’s 300 years old and and
we’d never seen anything that’s big
before the kids are climbing and the
limbs are so big they’re coming down to
the ground and it’s just a really cool
moment and a farmer that was with us
told me he said you know if you were to
wipe all the dirt away from that you
would see just as many roots as you do
limbs and he kind of did this thing it’s
kind of like this when you look at it
and right at that moment Psalm 1 hit me
and I thought this is what we need to
talk about and I gathered all the kids
around I said you know some believers
are all roots and they want to know more
and learn more and learn new words and
new theologies and new beliefs but they
don’t have any love in them so that
they’re not worth a lot upside right
yeah and some people are all
reach they want to save and rescue and
feed and do and go but they don’t have
any any depth to their faith so the
first storm of life blows by who they’re
gone so you gotta have both you got to
have both Psalm 1 is our verse and about
being a tree planted by streams of water
digging into the word and reaching out
to the world so it’s always all of our
songs you’ve ever heard from crowns have
been something I’ve been teaching first
and they’ve sort of evolved into the
songs so what you have here is I took 12
songs and I wrote six songs about
digging deep and getting into the word
because if you don’t get into the word
you’re gonna make up God for yourself
yeah and you’re gonna come up with a God
who’s mad at you and whose team you’re
never gonna be good enough to be on
that’s the god you’re gonna come up with
on your own you get in the word you see
a God who uses messy people and he’s
bigger than that he will hmm tell me
yeah so that’s about digging deep and
then what does it look like to reach out
not to go reach out to the world so God
will love me but to do it because he
does and just letting God bear the
weight of holding you together yeah and
you just go be so that’s what the record
is well listen I want to tell you guys
that what is so great about the two of
you and about those others that are a
part of cast and crown is that y’all are
the real deal that there is integrity
that when you you know it’s kind of
refreshing I was talking to a friend of
mine just this morning on the way here
and I said listen I get so excited when
I see somebody from afar that I admire
and applaud and they’ve received
notoriety or rewards for what it is that
they do but then when you meet them
they’re just like regular people who
just like for real love God and if
they’re passionate about his people and
serving and just the fact that you all
are on staff at a church it’s not like
you’re so busy that you can’t be firmly
rooted and planted and get your roots
down deep somewhere and you guys have a
loving marriage and family that is that
that is sometimes unheard of
unfortunately that folks are so rooted
as you are we appreciate that we need
people we can point our kids to and that
we can look to that aren’t just about
the show but also have the roots
underneath that and we really appreciate
that about you guys tell us how it all
started Melanie where did this all come
from the whole Casting Crowns and how
did it begin
Casting Crowns started in Daytona Beach
worship band started as a youth praise
band mark was there and several the
other members were there and at the time
and and then it it kind of grew from
there you’re better at this story than I
am
I’m the talker she’s the one that tells
me later what I need to say right so
it’s really good so I’ll start the story
then you can tell me Mary’s like is he
Batak see the one that she knows she’s a
smart one I lead with my mouth music
thanks first so when she’s thinking I
just jump out the back I think she goes
well actually there’s 11 things wrong
with that but so I’m gonna give them a
get this wrong just so you know my
husband wishes he had your situation
where I would think of where you dog
first yeah I’m ready talking he’s the
one that’s it nerd girl see that’s what
God does in it God does that let’s
balance this out a little bit right so I
went to be youth pastor Daytona I’ve
always been a music guy and I found that
I could teach better with songs because
maybe they’ll know you’ll be done in
four minutes maybe that’s what it is but
for whatever reason I would use my
Steven Curtis Chapman tracks and
whatever all solo tracks I had to try to
teach these students that this is a
relationship with God this isn’t a
building you’re visiting once a week
this isn’t a worldview this isn’t a diet
we’re trying this is who you are and in
worship is prayer prayer is conversation
because this is a person so I’ve got
always go back to that so musics always
been a part of it and pretty soon I just
started kind of singing these songs in
the car just got started kind of coming
out of nowhere I’d never really set out
to do anything like that before and I
started singing them to my kids and all
these songs like if we’re the body or
voice of truth we’re just me and my
youth group in the youth room I’ve never
really thought anything past that so in
Daytona went on staff met JaJuan and
melody who are in the band they were
engaged they were leading worship I said
hey can I sing with you guys yeah I
guess you know so I came in we started
writing songs together and just building
this worship bands so Casting Crowns is
a Wednesday night worship band and the
cool thing is we still are that’s what
we do Sunday through Wednesday we’re
home and we’re pouring into the church
and so God really kind of brought crowns
to us
mark Miller is the singer for a country
group called Sawyer Brown they’ve been
around for yeah yeah they were the first
band to win Star Search I remember
that’s where I remember them that’s
right crazy guy with like cow skin
hands-on singing music weights crazy
so um way way back I was like two and a
half but um anyway I’ve just seen this
on youtube I wouldn’t even a line
written anyway but do y’all remember
that name Sawyer Brown yeah they’re
still rocking it there are still hitting
it hard and so he hears our music
through a college kid who just ran into
him at a basketball camp and found out
who he was good you didn’t hear him a
youth pastor and we gave him our little
CD that we were given to our youth group
every week and and that’s how this
started
he calls me says hey I’m at the beach
with a friend of mine Steven Curtis
Chapman and I’m like okay and literally
just I’m eating pizza with my teenagers
I walk outside answer the phone and this
is what I hear we want to start a label
we want your music to be the first thing
we we do stage name at that point
already casting Crowns for the groomers
party so I want you to finish the story
but tell us what does casting crowns
mean well when we were in Daytona we’re
trying to we were starting to play
outside of the church every once in a
while for a youth rallies or a disciple
now weekend’s that kind of stuff and
they realized we need a name right not
just the band and at a big worship song
for us at the time was we fall down yeah
and that was a good a cool song for us
and our students in our prayer times and
then the verse in Revelation 4 where it
talks about the 24 elders around the
throne how they cast their crowns before
him and there really was no other name
or no other that’s the one that just
came out of Scripture for us and and
that’s what we became soul Arthur Miller
Steven Curtis Chapman they say come
aboard join us
teleporter join us and you don’t say no
when Steven Curtis Chapman me of my my
answer he goes I’ve never heard anything
like this before but I said can i still
be a youth pastor and he said he paused
he said yes
Eenie and he tells me now even then he
thought he’s not gonna be able to keep
doing this
but we really were gonna keep doing this
I don’t think you would have crowns song
as if we weren’t in the church every
song you hear is something that’s
happening right now you know if I lived
in a bus I’d just be writing songs about
my old songs but we live in real world
and then in the midst of all of this the
two of you came together fell in love
got married how did that work out
because you guys okay we got to talk
about this
y’all work together because you manage a
lot of all this craziness that is
casting Crowns you’re the manager behind
all that and the tour manager and all
that stuff so we can talk about this
whole working relationship and loving
each other at the same time relationship
that y’all have going on but how did
that relationship even start how’d y’all
meet we my husband my husband my father
came as a minister of music to the
church where Mark and his family went to
church when I was in eighth grade I was
in middle school and you were in middle
school yeah yes to be exact you were in
the seventh grade and I was a nice you
were the ninth grade older woman but we
were friends for a really really long
time and just got to be really good
friends yeah he says that now I know guy
is your friend if a guy you just need to
know he’s not your friend he’s not all
guys are just like they’re just women
girl yeah yeah
watch out got a little Casting Crowns
wisdom that sounds like a book to me bro
so we were just really good friends for
a really long time through middle school
grew up in the youth group sang in the
choir together and in ensembles together
and sang and weddings and stuff we did a
lot of things together and then one day
the Lord just kind of turned the light
on and did some things in mark’s life
and in my life and just is it’s almost
like he said you know here’s the light
cue the curtain and here’s where we’re
about to start a ride that you’re you
have no idea what’s what’s ahead of you
that could have been some me maybe I had
like
on the smolder that day or something
yeah that was it how do you think that
commercial sells the stories like God
told me I had to marry him come on you
know the light hit just right where the
guy is standing he’s probably like in a
coffee shop or some I don’t even
remember what the commercials for but
this guy’s just standing there people
are getting coffee and stuff and then he
goes here comes the sexy thing with mark
and I is that because we had been such
great friends for so long it was like
God had used all of that time and our
relationship together
over the years – it was God and the boom
you know I understand we got it and it
was the smolder – it was yes and then
you guys have been married how long 23
years and in the midst of those 23 years
how many of those years have been
casting Crowns management singing
writing this wild life well the writing
in the ministry and stuff was almost
immediate I mean we got married I was I
was 20 yes and we were married and Mark
went to Bible College while during our
engagement process he which was very
short
by the way months but but we already we
worked together during that time we’ve
done all the jobs together and he was
the Easter Bunny once and I took the
pictures and yes the Easter Bunny at the
mall he worked at the basket store you
know he works at the stationery store at
the mall so we kind of did that his
friends for years and so then it was
like when when God said now we rise well
yeah of course cuz we just it was time
to get married and he was be honest he
was he was he was exactly and I hadn’t
seen it before because it wasn’t time
for God me it wasn’t time for me to see
it but I realized that he was exactly
what I had to ask God for know and
everything that I’d asked for them it
was like God said okay now is the time
and yeah I got to tell you I had that
exact instance with Jerry that I met him
we you know he we were in a dating
relationship but I was kind of you know
arm’s length him and then one day I was
on an airplane and I had fallen asleep
and I mean it was like the Lord woke me
up out of my sleep and I sat straight up
here I was kind of debating whether or
not this guy for me
and
Lord said everything you have written
down on that little mental list of yours
that you can prayed for when I started
thinking about those individual things
like Jerry was it right down to the tall
and dark chocolate skin God looking for
he was it’s amazing how God does that
answers our prayers and we don’t even we
don’t remember we prayed the prayer oh
yes and he’s all about the business of
trying to answer those prayers our
answering them you know for us we were
both in relationships and I shared a lot
with my students that if God really is
in control of your life and he knows
where this is headed yeah that’s where
the song already there comes from that
we ride that God’s ahead of you right
now looking back on your life your
future is a memory to him yeah so so
you’re worried you’re gonna pick the
wrong person so your going and trying
all these relationships which is
basically divorced practice is what
modern dating is and it’s let’s bond
let’s cover it no one lets contract
without covenant and try to just be this
thing that you can’t lean under trust in
you just how the other person’s feeling
today until it’s not working and then
you’re done then you go try again you’re
training yourself to give up later and
and that that’s that’s the culture that
I had fallen into yeah and what I try to
tell my teenagers is you’re worried that
you’re with the wrong person or that
you’re going to marry the wrong person
when God is sitting on the front porch
with you right now
watching your grandkids play with you
he’s way ahead of this so if you could
just walk with him now and thrive where
you are yeah instead of trying to be
warm tonight or be held or just have a
somebody at Valentine’s Day people will
start dating and enter into bad
marriages and have a hard time and
realize it was because they wanted to
prom date and all this yeah one little
night one little decision there allows
you to make a decision that the
consequences your heart was a very very
fluttery yeah yeah my father once said
to me I’ve never forgotten that your
emotions don’t actually have intellect
no so do not follow them because they
are not smart don’t put yourself in the
position where that’s gonna happen and
yeah we had done that both of us and we
both crashed
oh yeah same been there done that
anybody been there and done that
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you
feast your eye for one change the world
for one change the world
Oh
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orphans don’t need stuff orphans need
families join me Steven Curtis Chapman
and show hope as we help provide orphans
with forever families you guys have a it
is not perfect I’m sure but you have a
successful marriage and I don’t know
about y’all but I have lots of friends
that are getting to it’s it’s odd
because they’re getting to the 20 and 25
year mark and their marriages are
falling apart there are a handful of
marriages that I can say I look at in
the distance of 25 years 30 years and I
go wow not only are they still married
but they’re happily married they’re
friends they are enjoying each other I
want you guys to tell us cuz you’ve been
married how long 23 years ok at 23 years
what would you tell a younger couple
they could that maybe you would go back
and even do differently or that you did
well that has enabled you to thrive
right now at 23 years in your marriage
good I think that there’s one thing that
there are a lot of things but there is
one thing that definitely helps the
marriage because like you said earlier
there there are times in marriage that
are easy and times that are difficult
there are times when children are doing
what they’re supposed to there are times
when parents get sick and you know
people die and there’s so many struggles
in marriage because there are struggles
in life but the there’s one thing
besides obviously that we’re both rooted
and grounded in faith and and in our
relationship with Christ and that is
that we are together in ministry and so
we have this common bond that kind of
holds us together even in those moments
when you’re like why did you just do
that and why are you here and what is
this thing on an mission it is this
competition that brings you through some
that rocky point in the road or the or
that moment in the road when you know
that that’s difficult and in it but it
carries you through because this is
common bond
we share this passion and this desire
and this focus to to Minister the gospel
to people in the passion that God’s
given us for teenagers and for for
people that are looking and searching so
because I feel like marriage has gotten
a bad rap honestly I feel like people
are single people can be a little bit
discouraged when they look at married
people sometimes because there are not a
lot of married people that are just
having fun you guys are having fun
together I mean yeah I’m sure those
struggles because you work together you
live together you travel together you
know you’re always together I’ve got
very much the same scenario as you all
have but you’re showing that marriage
still there’s still a beauty of marriage
that is worth having
despite the struggle why do you think
that marriage has taken such a hit in
our culture today and what can we do to
fix it cuz that’s a beautiful thing what
do we do to fix it the image that it has
well it’s hard because teenagers are
growing up seeing it used to be just
love God and your your marriage won’t go
away but they’re like hey we’ve been in
church since I was a kid and my parents
marriage is going that’s right and so
maybe none of this is real anyway and
that that’s the thing that we’re gonna
have to one of the things I see that
Mellie and I accomplished with our
students in our youth group is they get
to see what it looks like and I think a
lot of kids are growing up not seeing
the model of what it’s supposed to look
like I don’t have something to go to all
they hear is we go to church nobody has
any problems but when we come out of
church nobody’s married anymore so we go
back to church again and everybody’s all
dressed up and sitting great and doing
fine but out in the hallway they’re
different people one of these things
isn’t real yeah which one which one is
and so so for us it’s our teenagers need
to see what a marriage looks like this
is what a couple looks like this is what
this is what it looks like when it’s
hard this is what so being really
transparent and being around them if
you’re in a church right now and you’re
a believer and you’re an adult
congratulations your call to student
ministry yeah yeah but they’re just
walking around those little road come on
market own stuff and tearing the church
up are also gonna be the adult soon and
they need to see that the truth yeah
not about teaching but just about
hanging out you got some in your
neighborhood have them have some of
these kids kind of do life with you and
see how it works good that’s good
so Melanie would you please tell us the
real deal we need to know what it is
like to have to work with travel with on
a tour bus I’m assuming you guys travel
on tour bus sometimes so you got to work
with you have to do tour bus stuff with
you’ve got to live with this same person
all the time there are some people that
are watching there’s a wife right now
that’s watching that’s going I’m so glad
my husband goes to work eight hours
today I don’t know what I would do if we
weren’t apart for a little while but you
guys look at you smiles on your faces
yeah it’s just so awesome all the time
but I’m saying somehow you’ve made it
through the UH nasim parks did I just
make up a word I think I just mean
you’re here so could you just give us
Melanie from a woman’s perspective for a
woman that’s watching and she’s going
you know what I want to love my husband
well but I want to be able to know how
to deal with the struggle times of the
togetherness sometimes it’s just hard to
be together you know so tell us how that
looks in your life and you know how you
work through it I think that just to go
back to what I said earlier I think that
there has to be a common bond of purpose
in your walk with Christ and your focus
in ministry if you’re if everyone’s
going this their separate ways all the
time there there’s nothing to draw you
together so I really believe that that’s
the thing that that holds us together
that you know kind of like love covers a
multitude of sins and it’s the same way
with the with the passion for ministry
that we both have in common you know and
that’s what we cling to the commonality
we have in common and the fact that it’s
something that’s beyond you know tennis
or yeah you know something you know it
helps to put it all in perspective but
do you guys just like make sure you
separate your dating life from work life
because sometimes you can be together so
much that you forget oh we actually
haven’t gone on a date we haven’t
actually talked to each other we’ve just
been together doing business stuff and
getting the kids here and you know and
planning the tour but we haven’t
actually had a candlelight dinner and
looked at each other and talked
we do have a candlelight dinner usually
hey let me look at our dates for next
week and see so yeah we’ll tell you if
we figured that out I mean that’s
something you’re always working at so
there’ll be some times when we can keep
crowns off the table or not talk about
home school for a while and and but at
the same time that is who we are – yeah
so I guess you got to see the beauty of
all of it I need the hang time just you
and me but the home school needs to be
you and me and everything needs to be
you and me so I need to be engaged in
school yeah and hearing and thinking
through all the stuff she’s working on
and being absolutely no help with math
dyslexic dad is not allowed to help with
math but but I need to see the value of
what she’s doing and I see it by diving
in it Instagram posts about how awesome
a husband I am all day long but she
knows if I am or not so this is the only
one I gotta impress here so I’m good
with words I can just give it all up so
she’s not hearing that darling you’re so
magical that’s right just dive into some
math so yeah that helps I think another
thing that helps is we find commonality
but we also guys have to see the beauty
of the opposites in us like you were
saying you are different yep Sheena are
different it took a long time we need to
appreciate her left brains and heard to
see my right brain is okay because I was
threatened by how sharp she is and you
just say hey when we do this tomorrow
well and she’ll she could see a month
out right now in her head she’s probably
planning an event for Nick right now
Matt were talk so she’s awesome at that
and it threatened me so I’m the youth
pastor I’ll head up in the clouds
wouldn’t this be cool guy is everything
I do yeah and she would figure out why
it needed to be different and it would
threaten me so I would push her away
mm-hmm and and that made for some rough
years yeah because I couldn’t see that
God sent her on purpose yeah so she put
some structure to all of your ideas and
vision we need those opposites but it
does cause for some rough years and
those were a few years are we
talk about in the second half of our
conversation we are having two different
opportunities to speak to this
incredible couple you just watched part
one so you’re going to want to make sure
to tune in to part two will you please
help me to thank these incredible people
mark and Melanie hall
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