After 20 years of marriage in the spotlight, Kirk and Tammy have been through a lot. However, with Christ as their center, God has continued to use Kirk’s music and their ministry to change lives for His glory. Join us as we chat with Kirk and Tammy about life in the spotlight and what it means to have a marriage centered on Christ.
hey there so glad that you’re joining me
today I’m Priscilla and this is the chat
with Priscilla it’s where we sit down
and we chat about things that hopefully
will be a blessing to your life today
I’m excited because I get to introduce
you to a couple that I have known for
about two decades now they have made an
imprint not only on me personally and
the lives of the people who are around
them personally but they have made an
imprint on the entire world I’m talking
about Grammy award-winning gospel artist
Kirk Franklin and his wife Tammy we
don’t have a great conversation today so
stay tuned
[Applause]
[Music]
[Music]
I’m so glad that you’re here we’re
having a great conversation we’ve
actually already been having this
conversation with this two folks they
already over here laughing they’re
already ready for the conversation
because they enjoy each other we’re
enjoying them aren’t we we’re having a
great time
listen this is part one so it’s got me
part two so if you’ve already if you’re
joining us right now then you need to go
back make sure that you’ve listened to
part one and watch part one because
we’ve already had a great time talking
with each other about being married
about life about love about lessons that
you’ve learned all along the way so just
help me once again to just thank them
for joining us today and being a part of
our program
okay I wrote down some questions okay
I’m going to ask you guys this question
about the other person okay when I want
to eat you smoothie this is easy is it
easy for you he thinks he knows me so
well yeah are you still my mom always
told me that you need you know B I never
understood this really be vulnerable and
open whenever you get married Priscilla
be open your spouse but it’s always nice
to maintain just a smidge of mystery yes
my mother told me that did your mother
tell you that have you has she done that
has she been able is there a little
mystery of Tammy they just kind of keeps
you kind of hanging you know everything
about my baby I know everything about my
girl
is that true Tammy just do you think he
knows everything about you what the most
part but I mean we married when I was 25
46 now and so I’m not the same person so
you know you know I would say for the
most part yes but does he make it his
business to know all of so he seems to
be a very he is a very um what’s the
word I’m looking for he’s clearly a man
the girl was about womanly men you got
to be careful saying stuff like that
Tammy said because we have a joke yeah I
tell him that he’s mixed with girl well
because he’s an artist and so you as a
very emotional he’s a very intrinsic
person he’s a very deep thinker and are
you that way in your relationship with
her do you want to get in
I drop some her crazy asked another
question yes she said one leave me alone
I always want to know he wants to know
and then sometimes he’s overly
protective like I mean yeah that’s why
being here in Nashville I said baby you
don’t have to run in my rescue every
look like if I if I hit my toe
baby you okay everything okay you good
yeah I mean it’s like you’re like yes my
dad was fine I am good yes well we think
you should appreciate that and I do
oh whoa anyone all right all right now I
gotta tell you
Gerry is actually not not an artsy
person and he’s not a very he has a very
internal person but for other reasons
he’s attentive like you are like he
cares he cares about the details and
guide like you can get overly protective
you can’t get overly sir I’m just saying
because she’s a woman who needs a little
freedom and a life a little movement
their life so how do you Valerie
baguette for freedom like how do you
balance that dense hammy with
appreciating his attentiveness but at
the same time sandbag actually need you
to just let me I’m grown I mean I try I
hope I do any way I try to let him know
how much I appreciate him I mean my
husband can get up at 4:00 6:00 in the
morning to be leaping to go out of town
and I mean just the other morning when
he was leaving I raised up I said babe I
appreciate you thank you and he’s aside
for what and I said doing what you’re
doing right now you know and so I try to
let him know and you know what I sent
him a text or whatever I appreciate you
thank you I appreciate what you do for
us you know but at the same time there
are times where I’ll have to say babe
I’m okay I promise you know because
sometimes my husband can say me like I’m
in a little bit of a bubble yeah I mean
I just went late last couple of years
uh-huh where he I was gonna say aloud
but I’ll change my my wording to he’s
now okay with me driving at night like
before at 8 o’clock
unless I was with someone grown woman I
just want to make sure she’s okay
so you did well the one house after 8
o’clock he wanted
not-not-not in a protective he didn’t
trust me it was just so protective you
know of me that he’s like our house he’s
like craziness happens
John Goes Down it’s all I mean but not
like you know you know you can’t go no
no I said I mean you know my bone of
what I was able to you know say what I
needed to say what almost I know whether
that but when our children’s UK good you
know when I kid when I can’t started
driving and became of age and they were
right they were out at night and I could
also hold up yeah yeah I got it
I cannot driving a child you know I know
it was just what was it why didn’t you
want her she’s a little bitty woman she
is a small tiny bitty woman and you know
I just don’t want anything that happens
because she’s so Eddy bitty and I didn’t
want anything to happen to her I’m small
but I’m mighty I can I do
Tammy’s got a little fire it or tails
you gotta know fire a lot of fire okay
tonight alright so I might ask you guys
these questions and I want you to just
give the response that you think applies
for the other one okay okay
what is the others favorite simple
pleasure get her feet rubbed
oh gosh yes is that it and your feet Roe
know everything I know everything and do
you do the foot rubbing and her off to
get a massage no he seemed to bother –
oh my goodness he’s amazing
why and you know what’s in my music
career but suffice I’ve opened up a you
know what he loves me you know what he
does is so cute and I’ll fall for every
time he’s like did you hear that and I’m
like what
it’s your feet saying today music it all
like oh yes he does it very well she did
simple pleasure he teaches life to be
watching movies that’s my dad watch
would like not in the theater at home at
home at home but you guys are money
about in it you love you I mean whoa I
think one of our records was going to
see a movie at a theater we saw four
movies in a row yeah I grabbed he that’s
y’all sing he
and you guys do that you have a
tradition after Thanksgiving Christmas
dinner Christmas dinner and Thanksgiving
Day we go would you find what’s out you
can find what’s out and we take
everybody huh no crew the whole crew and
the whole crew means the whole maybe
3040 people yeah it would be like 30 40
of them that go out that’s good okay
what does your spouse do what is it that
they do that makes you go
what like their intimate regularly you
just kind of go what Tammy can fall
without anything being it up Tammy can
fall going up the stairs really now neva
neva this is crazy
Tammy was a cheerleader she was the
varsity captain of the cheerleading
squad I was a me Harry could dance she’s
a great dancer yes but yes my baby is
Clum hi oh yeah I’ll run the hammer will
run into stuff it’s not even there it’s
not there
have you always been clumsy yes yeah I
decided I don’t know how it happens I
think I’m so low I don’t want you going
out I don’t know how this happened run
it into something that ain’t there I
think I tell it I’m so I’m so low to the
ground I could be walking past the door
and it will yank my my belt loops where
I’m like whoa
and I and I’m stuck oh my she could be
walking on carpet yeah and I and I have
purple and he’s on the floor the carpet
just rolled up like this and sometimes
you’re later for because she’s the best
if you later if she gets up and I’m
looking the light so you do you
immediately simple life or do I laugh
now do you like leather but
whoa well if he’s not screaming or
anything but if she just lays them like
hey check he checks on me first
you can tell me how small yell are how
tall are you Tammy no no he’ll how tall
are you for Lebanon and I also if I put
my half on there yeah
so for 11 and a half
[Laughter]
Kurt and I’m six one out are you five
five five five so it’s like the Lord
made y’all for each other you just made
for each other why you got to do that
[Laughter]
made us like when I first our price roll
oh my gosh y’all are so cute like with
this yeah what you look you
we’re grown people like I’m almost 50
years old yeah I’m talking to be like
this yeah yeah you’re grown people
we get that a lot but you know what
sometimes though when y’all large like
dressed up and stuff like I remember one
time we were at your house for some
holiday I don’t know our families would
celebrate holidays a lot years ago
mostly more than now but ever we’re at
your house and girl you head on this was
fourth of July and you had on shorts you
had on a tank top and you had your hair
into pigtails yeah yet so you looked
like you were 12 years so y’all
sometimes when you’re going through the
airports and stuff or doing like regular
life and y’all have on your low whatever
gym shorts or whatever you really kind
of look like I have to dress up to be
able to ride the rides oh my god
sometimes they don’t
okay
it’s his turn the question now what if
he do yes okay what is he doing that
just makes you go what he asked me crazy
questions all day long he knows like
they’re kind of stupid so like there’s
like there could be a little kid a
toddler walking around and he’ll say
baby has anyone had a baby that big what
has anyone had a baby that big I’m like
you mean like giving birth to eggs
that’s all I catch are like a
two-year-old walking around and she’ll
just they’ll say babe you think
anybody’s ever had a baby that big just
that’s just an example of the foolery
and the thing is good to know that his
behavior on this sofa oh this is he’s
any kind of human oh I’m actually
disappointed cuz I thought you’re going
to come out here and really give them
Kirk so they can see the real like
you’re being kind of calm Kirk well most
of them don’t know me and I don’t want
to scare them you don’t want scare to
people here now
you know it’s bad when I want them to
like me no you know it’s that when I
have abandonment issues really you know
it’s that when you’re on the way to your
kids school and the kids are saying now
daddy behave yeah that’s true
you’re kind of first of all you do have
a bad case of AD – yes
you’re all over the place all of HD what
and so I practice yes yes and you know
that works for you in the concert yeah
that’s what you need you biggie bouncing
all over the place and when I’m home I
bounce a little technique you do dis yep
find out nothing I think having a field
day when eat when he’s watching his
movies he’s like yeah that’s why I don’t
say nothing if you were greedy they
wanted to watch the movie ah yeah yeah
he’s like he can watch sometimes they
get a haul game do you know how
sometimes parents will give their kid a
little benadryl well that’s not quite a
dragon strange do you again
well okay here we go what is your spouse
afraid of or insecure about she is
afraid of not getting quick all right
I’m good but I’m afraid I’m not having
lights on at night you need do you need
to tell me so it’s not like all the
lights okay I just got a junior night
laughs no no not like a little bit of
light by the bed so so I come home from
studio like a concert it’s going on amok
okay no that’s me not being go turn the
lights out okay but why do you need why
do you need light you know I’ve been
that way your whole life it has it’s
just something that’s carried over and
then he travels a lot yeah – and so it’s
just eclectic something like have a
little comfort blanket it’s just so at
night when you guys are going to sleep
you need a light on in the room well
when I have he’s at home I’m good okay
I’m totally fine it’s more so when I’m
by myself okay yeah and I mean but he’s
so evil sometimes he’ll I should close
the door and cut off like I’m like you
know I feel like that’s me anything I
got you well let me just say this though
that was a good answer except I was
thinking more about her internal
insecurities cage know women can look at
other women can look at a package like
this where she’s got a good life she has
taken care of she has a husband who
cares about whether or not she stubbed
her toe she can’t drive after and you
know what at 46 years old she’s looking
mighty mighty good she is so a woman we
have a tendency to look at other women
and think she’s never intimidated by
anything she’s never insecure she
doesn’t have any problems or any fears
or any worries I’m wondering when you
think about your wife what are internal
insecurities that you do see that
despite all the beauty and the bounty
that God has given her which all of us
do we have insecurities it was very
shocking to me to discover that she
didn’t realize how beautiful she was
that is a shocking for me to discover
she didn’t know how brilliant she was
and it was very shocking for me to know
that she’s always wanting to know if
because she kills it as a mom yes she
kills it as a wife but she’s always
wanting to know and so those things were
very shocking to me that she did not
have this super cub because again when
you look at Tammy you think you know how
does somebody like that not know you
know like I asked the Earl again I asked
her what a crazy question
in today and today at the head I said I
said girl what did you first realize you
were fine and she said I’m eating my
salad I’m like you start laughing and
you know like it’s amazing to know that
what I see she doesn’t know see so I’m
always telling her I mean yeah so I mean
I’m always hitting her
it’s so beautiful you’re so pretty and
then she’s very smart like I want her to
start over saying some things that I
have some visions that I have in the
future
something I was who I thought she’s a
baby any be greater time instead and so
it was very shocking to know and
discover that she didn’t internally
possess what I could externally see okay
Kirk what is your assessment of why that
is not for Tammy but women in general
when you look at the culture the way it
is good class well why do you think that
we struggle so hard to really appreciate
the gifts the talents the beauty that
the Lord has given to each of us
individually and uniquely why is why is
it so hard for us to see what God sees
or what our spouse might see you know
because the culture society and even the
Dogon church we have sucked and our
honoring and the reverence of women
where such I mean through millennia
through millennia you know I mean way
before the restoration you know we we’ve
always had the systematic approach of
mentally and emotionally demising women
so that they had never been able to see
themselves through the lens that God has
seen us as equal and so that is very
unfortunate that it’s almost been
assisted of a systemic ideology from
something systemic doctrine that has
destroyed the power the influence and
silence many of the opportunities that
the world has needed to advance there
was inside of a woman to be able to
speak to be able to give direction life
in an innovation like every ministry
company that I’ve ever had has been
raised by woman like I am a fan of women
because of the knowledge how they
execute that knowledge as always but
something that I’ve always screamed from
now some say this cuz you’d have a mom
whatever the case is but it doesn’t take
away from that truth that is still a
factual truth that we have sucked and
doing a job of empowering women to be
able to be but they were godly ordained
a half and I’m always doing what my
daughters like my daughters I’m always
wanting them to go do interns and run
this and do that and Hippolytus I don’t
want them against nothing wrong with
being a wife and a mom but I want them
to know that whatever they want to do
right daddy will bust this but to make
sure it happens you want to lead you
want to own you want to open up whatever
you want to do you want to be
entrepreneur whatever it is I will give
you all the tools you need because I’m a
fan and I’m very passionate and
disappointed at how we have instilled
and our young women young
african-american women what power and
influence and true beauty is that’s
right that’s right yeah that’s good
thank you
Pammy it’s very good very very good Tami
yes what is his insecurity Shirley long
enough everyone pick one mm-hmm
you know it always amazes me I think
that God has gifted my husband to write
some of the most amazing songs that
bring about healing and deliverance and
I remember when he was working on the
song imagine me which has blessed me
tremendously and you know so many other
people and he had written like the first
supersonic computer he had written like
the very first lines and you know
imagine me being free trusting you
totally and you know what’s the line
when I would love and I see
imagine me loving when I see when I look
in the mirror and I remember reading
those words and literally tears were
welling up in my eyes
that’s not fair so it that’s when I
first saw that at her I was like to me
those words were speaking maybe what my
soul longed to say but didn’t know how
to say and I’m looking at him and I
remember saying to him you don’t get it
and I guess you’re not supposed to
because he was like is it corny it
according to imagine yourself being
bettered and I mean and he was like he’s
been pretty much like that our whole
marriage what do you think I mean yeah
yeah and you know I think that you know
people can see my will see my husband
and they think oh he’s so cocky he’s old
is he so self-assured and you know he
really fears disappointing God
disappointing his family and and when I
say fear he wants to get it right
because I didn’t see it done right and
so you know he works hard and sometimes
it may seem over you know over over the
top I do call him baby Jean why do you
call him baby her not friends they all
call me baby
wife isn’t why you call baby Jesus oh
because you know I’d like okay there are
things that that he does that are
exciting and you know so my babe are you
so excited about this oh I’m just
honored at the Lord show and I’m like
give me a real piece of human answered
you know because I’m like wow this is so
exciting you know is he being so careful
to try to deflect glory away yes self
and on to guess it my at our home we
don’t have not an award out yes my
husband they are in a closet yeah and
it’s because he doesn’t want to walk
past any of it and I mean you know I’m
like can we put like the the Grammy that
he got for imagine me because you’re
like to please dr. Ramo I’ll put a
couple a couple of ramen and well and
for me imagine me was such a special
song even for myself that I thought well
it you know maybe he’ll let me put the
imagine me Grammy out nope they’re all
in a closet probably rusting away you
know and but I have to admire him about
that – yeah because he’s like I don’t
want to walk
and you know so I have to live up to
that or artistical flowerpots yeah I
would say that that which is that
amounted on plant-eating and I think
what I appreciate about both of you is
that you’ve made it your business I mean
I think if there’s there’s many things
we can pull out of this conversation
we’re having with them but one of them
is that each of you has made it your
business to build the other one up that
you’ve discovered what the insecurity is
and instead of sort of letting it annoy
you you’ve decided that it is my
responsibility and my privilege to pour
into that insecurity instead of the
annoyed editor irritate at it about it
that the Lord has given me the
opportunity yeah she’s my cheerleader
and hope of yours yeah that’s awesome
okay so sweet or salty both does he like
to eat in general oh I thought you meant
his so his attitude and rosary and
coffee about the policy part oh oh my
husband can if you wronged me who have
you wronged our children if you wronged
him it takes them a while to get over it
all doesn’t really yes well I’m my old
thing oh my baby
I have forgiven I don’t I’m good why
don’t you didn’t can’t forgive is it
hard for you to let go Kurt well I’m a
fighter is I’m very quick to I’m very
quick to pop off and I have to confess
that all the time because I am and and
I’m not always proud of it you know and
I get very something like I like to
fight I like to argue you know that’s
why I started taking apologetics because
I love being in the barber shop and
being able to give a good answer for the
faith you know we’re just are talking
about Christianity real is that it’s
like Oh what do you say real you know oh
you know and I’m saying I’m saying I was
a perfect I was the perfect dutiful
pilot yet again cuz now it gives me
eight
academic argument for my faith Oh what
did you know this is what you know so I
enjoy that but if you mess with my woman
are my babies he will cut you
I’ll be only like a spider monkey you’re
not real
but swimming is a teddy bear I mean oh
my girls know who to come to for and you
keep mentioning your kids we don’t know
about your kids can you tell us the
details just line them up for us what we
have carry on who was gosh Li 28 now
yeah girl is carry on 28 carry on of 28
29 in May 2000 carry on to my bonus my
bonus son yes and then we have
Carrington who’s 27 and she’s just so
can you imagine when we were like dating
I’m like what’s your son’s name
you know because Carrington and carry on
yeah and they’re both a year apart
birthdays are a week apart and so then
we have Kennedy who’s 19 she’s a baby
too in Kennedy’s for Ken she’s our
little tiny I call him my little
chihuahua she loved ice feisty little
she is by food she is she’s loved feisty
and she’s in her sophomore year at
school and college and then we have our
baby boy who’s the last one at home
keziah and he’s sixteen sixteen and
Carrington Carrington just got married
just got married three weeks ago and he
walked her down the aisle as well as
officiated it was beautiful it was a
beautiful and you look good at your
dress girl thanks girl
I work so hard it wasn’t I’ve been
taking donations
hey for the win yeah no let me tell
y’all let me tell y’all the cutest he
did a you know you do the parting gift
for the guests
well my husband decided he wants the
parting gift to be from himself y’all it
was so cute the parting gift was from
him the parting gift it’s on the he said
make sure y’all get the it gets on the
microphone at the reception make sure
you get the gift it is from me y’all
this gift was it’s like bags in the back
so caracal beautifully wrapped all
beautiful but when I wasn’t there I was
so mad I was at it are you in India
that’s awesome wasn’t
praise the Lord but I was so sad miss it
this wedding wedding okay so it’s all
beautifully wrapped you open up the bag
it is a bottled water not like this
two packs of kool-aid and then a blue
like you know I show solo type cups the
water bottles we had this really cute
wrapper and said broke daddy broke daddy
okay that was a note inside the bag that
said what I know the wedding was
beautiful and all of this but now I’m
broke
give me some money I take full sales
Walmart your proper groove on I think
the dough strings you saw were not for
free and his is a joke sir as you
all can see everybody loved because they
know him I mean it was a good idea it
was about you it was adorable if you
were posting it online yeah I don’t you
go but it was it was cute all in fun but
he was kind of sorted know that the
signature was seriously purely serious
yes I’m serious
the broke day the broke day it was so
cute
great okay okay so here we go quick
answers talking about food okay food
yeah neither salty sweet sweet sweet or
salty sweet sweet so both of you like
sweet huh can I tell you something this
interview we’re supposed to be over now
but let me tell you something y’all they
actually are pretty healthy people
they’ll work out they like to eat eat
right you know just because they have to
keep up with a very demanding lifestyle
they have to be healthy to do that all
the time zone changes and all that with
all the traveling but they have a cheat
day
it’s like one day a week will they’ll
eat is it one day well mine’s one day a
week is one day probably every every two
months okay is it just a yes okay well
that must be the reason for what I’m
about to tell you you were somewhere
having Sunday brunch my family in a nice
and Kirk happened to come there for
Sunday weren’t that same day that you
caught him on a cheat day girl it was a
cheat day
yeah hang with him on us you know he
walked in there and I kid you not it was
a brunch so they’re serving some dinner
stuff and some breakfast stuff this man
we
talking so we didn’t really notice it
until afterwards that he had ordered two
servings of pancake stacks of Pancakes
he ate both of them then he had waffles
did you have one wall or two waffles
to Belgium I’m not big waffles he ate
both of the waffles and then what else
did you look at it an omelet an omelet
you had an omelet
anything else no so the whole time we’re
talking so we didn’t really really
realize can we got up and this man had
eaten the equivalent of 18 doughnuts
he’s an extreme personality he is oh
it’s either All or Nothing all happen so
when he’s when he is eating healthy it
might as well be grass it’s just
literally dead boring yeah and then when
he fell when he decides to cheat I can’t
hang with him on my babe yeah yeah he
can go yes next question chocolate or
vanilla chocolate I’m horrible oh you
know what that’s a hard question
our son is shot likes chocolate she like
hurt anything sweet yeah but you
wouldn’t pick between chocolate vanilla
Oh give me both swirl I’m on vanilla
though our vanilla yeah okay all right
well Beach or mountain for a vacation
for example for me yeah which one which
one do you think yes his dream is to be
in the mountains for like Christmas
light with snow and all that so i’ma go
in mountains since that’s what he would
like okay I to do beach yeah I’m beat
each girl yeah okay would you prefer to
live in the city would he prefer to live
in the city or live like in the quiet
country city city boy right there
I think quiet country now that I get
older for yourself you would want to be
in the country really you didn’t know
that Tim yeah cuz it’s always been a
city like that’s been our like he’s like
when we get with all these kids we go
we’re going to get it we’re going to get
a condo in the city we can walk
everywhere and so okay so you’ve changed
on me riding ponies and
as opposed to horses you want to get on
is that if the big horses up come with
the poem okay we answer for taming you
country she’s country after country girl
and what I have to have city amenities
you have to have HDTV so it needs to be
some more clothes
yeah Wi-Fi yeah lady a minute yes cue
drama or comedy ball analogy both
sitcoms movies of oh I thought you miss
personality you like both oh yeah yeah
we both like robots yeah is there
anything if you could pick one piece of
advice for a couple that wants to be in
love and in like 20 years down the road
so the couple that just got married a
year ago and they need to know what they
could do to keep the fire burning for 20
years what would that one piece of
advice be in 30 seconds once from you
and one from you Tammy I would say to
the woman without performing without
that being yourself make him feel like
he can fly make him feel like he’s a
superhero and he’ll always come save
your day have you all seen those
Instagram images going around with
Kermit yeah bad karma will play
something and then he’ll go with the
teeth that’s what that reminded me go
ahead to 30 seconds okay I would say the
key word that you just said was like
like in a lot of times we we marry
because we you know we love them but we
don’t necessarily really know the person
to believe like them and then you know
the like is it’s continuing I mean like
I said earlier I’m not the same person
that I was at 25 that I meant
46 and you grow and you change together
because you’re going to be different
you’re going to change and I think the
key is to change to get a lot of people
you end up hearing you know we just grew
out of love and yeah they probably did
change but you know we’ve made it our
business to change together we we sit
and we talk about you know hey I’m not I
like to renegotiate that’s my word I
like to use I like to renegotiate this
as I’m a different person yeah yeah so
now now we disagreed negotiate now she
didn’t come home
[Laughter]
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