After 20 years of marriage in the spotlight, Kirk and Tammy have been through a lot. However, with Christ as their center, God has continued to use Kirk’s music and their ministry to change lives for His glory. Join us as we chat with Kirk and Tammy about life in the spotlight and what it means to have a marriage centered on Christ.

hey there so glad that you’re joining me

today I’m Priscilla and this is the chat

with Priscilla it’s where we sit down

and we chat about things that hopefully

will be a blessing to your life today

I’m excited because I get to introduce

you to a couple that I have known for

about two decades now they have made an

imprint not only on me personally and

the lives of the people who are around

them personally but they have made an

imprint on the entire world I’m talking

about Grammy award-winning gospel artist

Kirk Franklin and his wife Tammy we

don’t have a great conversation today so

stay tuned

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

I’m so glad that you’re here we’re

having a great conversation we’ve

actually already been having this

conversation with this two folks they

already over here laughing they’re

already ready for the conversation

because they enjoy each other we’re

enjoying them aren’t we we’re having a

great time

listen this is part one so it’s got me

part two so if you’ve already if you’re

joining us right now then you need to go

back make sure that you’ve listened to

part one and watch part one because

we’ve already had a great time talking

with each other about being married

about life about love about lessons that

you’ve learned all along the way so just

help me once again to just thank them

for joining us today and being a part of

our program

okay I wrote down some questions okay

I’m going to ask you guys this question

about the other person okay when I want

to eat you smoothie this is easy is it

easy for you he thinks he knows me so

well yeah are you still my mom always

told me that you need you know B I never

understood this really be vulnerable and

open whenever you get married Priscilla

be open your spouse but it’s always nice

to maintain just a smidge of mystery yes

my mother told me that did your mother

tell you that have you has she done that

has she been able is there a little

mystery of Tammy they just kind of keeps

you kind of hanging you know everything

about my baby I know everything about my

girl

is that true Tammy just do you think he

knows everything about you what the most

part but I mean we married when I was 25

46 now and so I’m not the same person so

you know you know I would say for the

most part yes but does he make it his

business to know all of so he seems to

be a very he is a very um what’s the

word I’m looking for he’s clearly a man

the girl was about womanly men you got

to be careful saying stuff like that

Tammy said because we have a joke yeah I

tell him that he’s mixed with girl well

because he’s an artist and so you as a

very emotional he’s a very intrinsic

person he’s a very deep thinker and are

you that way in your relationship with

her do you want to get in

I drop some her crazy asked another

question yes she said one leave me alone

I always want to know he wants to know

and then sometimes he’s overly

protective like I mean yeah that’s why

being here in Nashville I said baby you

don’t have to run in my rescue every

look like if I if I hit my toe

baby you okay everything okay you good

yeah I mean it’s like you’re like yes my

dad was fine I am good yes well we think

you should appreciate that and I do

oh whoa anyone all right all right now I

gotta tell you

Gerry is actually not not an artsy

person and he’s not a very he has a very

internal person but for other reasons

he’s attentive like you are like he

cares he cares about the details and

guide like you can get overly protective

you can’t get overly sir I’m just saying

because she’s a woman who needs a little

freedom and a life a little movement

their life so how do you Valerie

baguette for freedom like how do you

balance that dense hammy with

appreciating his attentiveness but at

the same time sandbag actually need you

to just let me I’m grown I mean I try I

hope I do any way I try to let him know

how much I appreciate him I mean my

husband can get up at 4:00 6:00 in the

morning to be leaping to go out of town

and I mean just the other morning when

he was leaving I raised up I said babe I

appreciate you thank you and he’s aside

for what and I said doing what you’re

doing right now you know and so I try to

let him know and you know what I sent

him a text or whatever I appreciate you

thank you I appreciate what you do for

us you know but at the same time there

are times where I’ll have to say babe

I’m okay I promise you know because

sometimes my husband can say me like I’m

in a little bit of a bubble yeah I mean

I just went late last couple of years

uh-huh where he I was gonna say aloud

but I’ll change my my wording to he’s

now okay with me driving at night like

before at 8 o’clock

unless I was with someone grown woman I

just want to make sure she’s okay

so you did well the one house after 8

o’clock he wanted

not-not-not in a protective he didn’t

trust me it was just so protective you

know of me that he’s like our house he’s

like craziness happens

John Goes Down it’s all I mean but not

like you know you know you can’t go no

no I said I mean you know my bone of

what I was able to you know say what I

needed to say what almost I know whether

that but when our children’s UK good you

know when I kid when I can’t started

driving and became of age and they were

right they were out at night and I could

also hold up yeah yeah I got it

I cannot driving a child you know I know

it was just what was it why didn’t you

want her she’s a little bitty woman she

is a small tiny bitty woman and you know

I just don’t want anything that happens

because she’s so Eddy bitty and I didn’t

want anything to happen to her I’m small

but I’m mighty I can I do

Tammy’s got a little fire it or tails

you gotta know fire a lot of fire okay

tonight alright so I might ask you guys

these questions and I want you to just

give the response that you think applies

for the other one okay okay

what is the others favorite simple

pleasure get her feet rubbed

oh gosh yes is that it and your feet Roe

know everything I know everything and do

you do the foot rubbing and her off to

get a massage no he seemed to bother –

oh my goodness he’s amazing

why and you know what’s in my music

career but suffice I’ve opened up a you

know what he loves me you know what he

does is so cute and I’ll fall for every

time he’s like did you hear that and I’m

like what

it’s your feet saying today music it all

like oh yes he does it very well she did

simple pleasure he teaches life to be

watching movies that’s my dad watch

would like not in the theater at home at

home at home but you guys are money

about in it you love you I mean whoa I

think one of our records was going to

see a movie at a theater we saw four

movies in a row yeah I grabbed he that’s

y’all sing he

and you guys do that you have a

tradition after Thanksgiving Christmas

dinner Christmas dinner and Thanksgiving

Day we go would you find what’s out you

can find what’s out and we take

everybody huh no crew the whole crew and

the whole crew means the whole maybe

3040 people yeah it would be like 30 40

of them that go out that’s good okay

what does your spouse do what is it that

they do that makes you go

what like their intimate regularly you

just kind of go what Tammy can fall

without anything being it up Tammy can

fall going up the stairs really now neva

neva this is crazy

Tammy was a cheerleader she was the

varsity captain of the cheerleading

squad I was a me Harry could dance she’s

a great dancer yes but yes my baby is

Clum hi oh yeah I’ll run the hammer will

run into stuff it’s not even there it’s

not there

have you always been clumsy yes yeah I

decided I don’t know how it happens I

think I’m so low I don’t want you going

out I don’t know how this happened run

it into something that ain’t there I

think I tell it I’m so I’m so low to the

ground I could be walking past the door

and it will yank my my belt loops where

I’m like whoa

and I and I’m stuck oh my she could be

walking on carpet yeah and I and I have

purple and he’s on the floor the carpet

just rolled up like this and sometimes

you’re later for because she’s the best

if you later if she gets up and I’m

looking the light so you do you

immediately simple life or do I laugh

now do you like leather but

whoa well if he’s not screaming or

anything but if she just lays them like

hey check he checks on me first

you can tell me how small yell are how

tall are you Tammy no no he’ll how tall

are you for Lebanon and I also if I put

my half on there yeah

so for 11 and a half

[Laughter]

Kurt and I’m six one out are you five

five five five so it’s like the Lord

made y’all for each other you just made

for each other why you got to do that

[Laughter]

made us like when I first our price roll

oh my gosh y’all are so cute like with

this yeah what you look you

we’re grown people like I’m almost 50

years old yeah I’m talking to be like

this yeah yeah you’re grown people

we get that a lot but you know what

sometimes though when y’all large like

dressed up and stuff like I remember one

time we were at your house for some

holiday I don’t know our families would

celebrate holidays a lot years ago

mostly more than now but ever we’re at

your house and girl you head on this was

fourth of July and you had on shorts you

had on a tank top and you had your hair

into pigtails yeah yet so you looked

like you were 12 years so y’all

sometimes when you’re going through the

airports and stuff or doing like regular

life and y’all have on your low whatever

gym shorts or whatever you really kind

of look like I have to dress up to be

able to ride the rides oh my god

sometimes they don’t

okay

it’s his turn the question now what if

he do yes okay what is he doing that

just makes you go what he asked me crazy

questions all day long he knows like

they’re kind of stupid so like there’s

like there could be a little kid a

toddler walking around and he’ll say

baby has anyone had a baby that big what

has anyone had a baby that big I’m like

you mean like giving birth to eggs

that’s all I catch are like a

two-year-old walking around and she’ll

just they’ll say babe you think

anybody’s ever had a baby that big just

that’s just an example of the foolery

and the thing is good to know that his

behavior on this sofa oh this is he’s

any kind of human oh I’m actually

disappointed cuz I thought you’re going

to come out here and really give them

Kirk so they can see the real like

you’re being kind of calm Kirk well most

of them don’t know me and I don’t want

to scare them you don’t want scare to

people here now

you know it’s bad when I want them to

like me no you know it’s that when I

have abandonment issues really you know

it’s that when you’re on the way to your

kids school and the kids are saying now

daddy behave yeah that’s true

you’re kind of first of all you do have

a bad case of AD – yes

you’re all over the place all of HD what

and so I practice yes yes and you know

that works for you in the concert yeah

that’s what you need you biggie bouncing

all over the place and when I’m home I

bounce a little technique you do dis yep

find out nothing I think having a field

day when eat when he’s watching his

movies he’s like yeah that’s why I don’t

say nothing if you were greedy they

wanted to watch the movie ah yeah yeah

he’s like he can watch sometimes they

get a haul game do you know how

sometimes parents will give their kid a

little benadryl well that’s not quite a

dragon strange do you again

well okay here we go what is your spouse

afraid of or insecure about she is

afraid of not getting quick all right

I’m good but I’m afraid I’m not having

lights on at night you need do you need

to tell me so it’s not like all the

lights okay I just got a junior night

laughs no no not like a little bit of

light by the bed so so I come home from

studio like a concert it’s going on amok

okay no that’s me not being go turn the

lights out okay but why do you need why

do you need light you know I’ve been

that way your whole life it has it’s

just something that’s carried over and

then he travels a lot yeah – and so it’s

just eclectic something like have a

little comfort blanket it’s just so at

night when you guys are going to sleep

you need a light on in the room well

when I have he’s at home I’m good okay

I’m totally fine it’s more so when I’m

by myself okay yeah and I mean but he’s

so evil sometimes he’ll I should close

the door and cut off like I’m like you

know I feel like that’s me anything I

got you well let me just say this though

that was a good answer except I was

thinking more about her internal

insecurities cage know women can look at

other women can look at a package like

this where she’s got a good life she has

taken care of she has a husband who

cares about whether or not she stubbed

her toe she can’t drive after and you

know what at 46 years old she’s looking

mighty mighty good she is so a woman we

have a tendency to look at other women

and think she’s never intimidated by

anything she’s never insecure she

doesn’t have any problems or any fears

or any worries I’m wondering when you

think about your wife what are internal

insecurities that you do see that

despite all the beauty and the bounty

that God has given her which all of us

do we have insecurities it was very

shocking to me to discover that she

didn’t realize how beautiful she was

that is a shocking for me to discover

she didn’t know how brilliant she was

and it was very shocking for me to know

that she’s always wanting to know if

because she kills it as a mom yes she

kills it as a wife but she’s always

wanting to know and so those things were

very shocking to me that she did not

have this super cub because again when

you look at Tammy you think you know how

does somebody like that not know you

know like I asked the Earl again I asked

her what a crazy question

in today and today at the head I said I

said girl what did you first realize you

were fine and she said I’m eating my

salad I’m like you start laughing and

you know like it’s amazing to know that

what I see she doesn’t know see so I’m

always telling her I mean yeah so I mean

I’m always hitting her

it’s so beautiful you’re so pretty and

then she’s very smart like I want her to

start over saying some things that I

have some visions that I have in the

future

something I was who I thought she’s a

baby any be greater time instead and so

it was very shocking to know and

discover that she didn’t internally

possess what I could externally see okay

Kirk what is your assessment of why that

is not for Tammy but women in general

when you look at the culture the way it

is good class well why do you think that

we struggle so hard to really appreciate

the gifts the talents the beauty that

the Lord has given to each of us

individually and uniquely why is why is

it so hard for us to see what God sees

or what our spouse might see you know

because the culture society and even the

Dogon church we have sucked and our

honoring and the reverence of women

where such I mean through millennia

through millennia you know I mean way

before the restoration you know we we’ve

always had the systematic approach of

mentally and emotionally demising women

so that they had never been able to see

themselves through the lens that God has

seen us as equal and so that is very

unfortunate that it’s almost been

assisted of a systemic ideology from

something systemic doctrine that has

destroyed the power the influence and

silence many of the opportunities that

the world has needed to advance there

was inside of a woman to be able to

speak to be able to give direction life

in an innovation like every ministry

company that I’ve ever had has been

raised by woman like I am a fan of women

because of the knowledge how they

execute that knowledge as always but

something that I’ve always screamed from

now some say this cuz you’d have a mom

whatever the case is but it doesn’t take

away from that truth that is still a

factual truth that we have sucked and

doing a job of empowering women to be

able to be but they were godly ordained

a half and I’m always doing what my

daughters like my daughters I’m always

wanting them to go do interns and run

this and do that and Hippolytus I don’t

want them against nothing wrong with

being a wife and a mom but I want them

to know that whatever they want to do

right daddy will bust this but to make

sure it happens you want to lead you

want to own you want to open up whatever

you want to do you want to be

entrepreneur whatever it is I will give

you all the tools you need because I’m a

fan and I’m very passionate and

disappointed at how we have instilled

and our young women young

african-american women what power and

influence and true beauty is that’s

right that’s right yeah that’s good

thank you

Pammy it’s very good very very good Tami

yes what is his insecurity Shirley long

enough everyone pick one mm-hmm

you know it always amazes me I think

that God has gifted my husband to write

some of the most amazing songs that

bring about healing and deliverance and

I remember when he was working on the

song imagine me which has blessed me

tremendously and you know so many other

people and he had written like the first

supersonic computer he had written like

the very first lines and you know

imagine me being free trusting you

totally and you know what’s the line

when I would love and I see

imagine me loving when I see when I look

in the mirror and I remember reading

those words and literally tears were

welling up in my eyes

that’s not fair so it that’s when I

first saw that at her I was like to me

those words were speaking maybe what my

soul longed to say but didn’t know how

to say and I’m looking at him and I

remember saying to him you don’t get it

and I guess you’re not supposed to

because he was like is it corny it

according to imagine yourself being

bettered and I mean and he was like he’s

been pretty much like that our whole

marriage what do you think I mean yeah

yeah and you know I think that you know

people can see my will see my husband

and they think oh he’s so cocky he’s old

is he so self-assured and you know he

really fears disappointing God

disappointing his family and and when I

say fear he wants to get it right

because I didn’t see it done right and

so you know he works hard and sometimes

it may seem over you know over over the

top I do call him baby Jean why do you

call him baby her not friends they all

call me baby

wife isn’t why you call baby Jesus oh

because you know I’d like okay there are

things that that he does that are

exciting and you know so my babe are you

so excited about this oh I’m just

honored at the Lord show and I’m like

give me a real piece of human answered

you know because I’m like wow this is so

exciting you know is he being so careful

to try to deflect glory away yes self

and on to guess it my at our home we

don’t have not an award out yes my

husband they are in a closet yeah and

it’s because he doesn’t want to walk

past any of it and I mean you know I’m

like can we put like the the Grammy that

he got for imagine me because you’re

like to please dr. Ramo I’ll put a

couple a couple of ramen and well and

for me imagine me was such a special

song even for myself that I thought well

it you know maybe he’ll let me put the

imagine me Grammy out nope they’re all

in a closet probably rusting away you

know and but I have to admire him about

that – yeah because he’s like I don’t

want to walk

and you know so I have to live up to

that or artistical flowerpots yeah I

would say that that which is that

amounted on plant-eating and I think

what I appreciate about both of you is

that you’ve made it your business I mean

I think if there’s there’s many things

we can pull out of this conversation

we’re having with them but one of them

is that each of you has made it your

business to build the other one up that

you’ve discovered what the insecurity is

and instead of sort of letting it annoy

you you’ve decided that it is my

responsibility and my privilege to pour

into that insecurity instead of the

annoyed editor irritate at it about it

that the Lord has given me the

opportunity yeah she’s my cheerleader

and hope of yours yeah that’s awesome

okay so sweet or salty both does he like

to eat in general oh I thought you meant

his so his attitude and rosary and

coffee about the policy part oh oh my

husband can if you wronged me who have

you wronged our children if you wronged

him it takes them a while to get over it

all doesn’t really yes well I’m my old

thing oh my baby

I have forgiven I don’t I’m good why

don’t you didn’t can’t forgive is it

hard for you to let go Kurt well I’m a

fighter is I’m very quick to I’m very

quick to pop off and I have to confess

that all the time because I am and and

I’m not always proud of it you know and

I get very something like I like to

fight I like to argue you know that’s

why I started taking apologetics because

I love being in the barber shop and

being able to give a good answer for the

faith you know we’re just are talking

about Christianity real is that it’s

like Oh what do you say real you know oh

you know and I’m saying I’m saying I was

a perfect I was the perfect dutiful

pilot yet again cuz now it gives me

eight

academic argument for my faith Oh what

did you know this is what you know so I

enjoy that but if you mess with my woman

are my babies he will cut you

I’ll be only like a spider monkey you’re

not real

but swimming is a teddy bear I mean oh

my girls know who to come to for and you

keep mentioning your kids we don’t know

about your kids can you tell us the

details just line them up for us what we

have carry on who was gosh Li 28 now

yeah girl is carry on 28 carry on of 28

29 in May 2000 carry on to my bonus my

bonus son yes and then we have

Carrington who’s 27 and she’s just so

can you imagine when we were like dating

I’m like what’s your son’s name

you know because Carrington and carry on

yeah and they’re both a year apart

birthdays are a week apart and so then

we have Kennedy who’s 19 she’s a baby

too in Kennedy’s for Ken she’s our

little tiny I call him my little

chihuahua she loved ice feisty little

she is by food she is she’s loved feisty

and she’s in her sophomore year at

school and college and then we have our

baby boy who’s the last one at home

keziah and he’s sixteen sixteen and

Carrington Carrington just got married

just got married three weeks ago and he

walked her down the aisle as well as

officiated it was beautiful it was a

beautiful and you look good at your

dress girl thanks girl

I work so hard it wasn’t I’ve been

taking donations

hey for the win yeah no let me tell

y’all let me tell y’all the cutest he

did a you know you do the parting gift

for the guests

well my husband decided he wants the

parting gift to be from himself y’all it

was so cute the parting gift was from

him the parting gift it’s on the he said

make sure y’all get the it gets on the

microphone at the reception make sure

you get the gift it is from me y’all

this gift was it’s like bags in the back

so caracal beautifully wrapped all

beautiful but when I wasn’t there I was

so mad I was at it are you in India

that’s awesome wasn’t

praise the Lord but I was so sad miss it

this wedding wedding okay so it’s all

beautifully wrapped you open up the bag

it is a bottled water not like this

two packs of kool-aid and then a blue

like you know I show solo type cups the

water bottles we had this really cute

wrapper and said broke daddy broke daddy

okay that was a note inside the bag that

said what I know the wedding was

beautiful and all of this but now I’m

broke

give me some money I take full sales

Walmart your proper groove on I think

the dough strings you saw were not for

free and his is a joke sir as you

all can see everybody loved because they

know him I mean it was a good idea it

was about you it was adorable if you

were posting it online yeah I don’t you

go but it was it was cute all in fun but

he was kind of sorted know that the

signature was seriously purely serious

yes I’m serious

the broke day the broke day it was so

cute

great okay okay so here we go quick

answers talking about food okay food

yeah neither salty sweet sweet sweet or

salty sweet sweet so both of you like

sweet huh can I tell you something this

interview we’re supposed to be over now

but let me tell you something y’all they

actually are pretty healthy people

they’ll work out they like to eat eat

right you know just because they have to

keep up with a very demanding lifestyle

they have to be healthy to do that all

the time zone changes and all that with

all the traveling but they have a cheat

day

it’s like one day a week will they’ll

eat is it one day well mine’s one day a

week is one day probably every every two

months okay is it just a yes okay well

that must be the reason for what I’m

about to tell you you were somewhere

having Sunday brunch my family in a nice

and Kirk happened to come there for

Sunday weren’t that same day that you

caught him on a cheat day girl it was a

cheat day

yeah hang with him on us you know he

walked in there and I kid you not it was

a brunch so they’re serving some dinner

stuff and some breakfast stuff this man

we

talking so we didn’t really notice it

until afterwards that he had ordered two

servings of pancake stacks of Pancakes

he ate both of them then he had waffles

did you have one wall or two waffles

to Belgium I’m not big waffles he ate

both of the waffles and then what else

did you look at it an omelet an omelet

you had an omelet

anything else no so the whole time we’re

talking so we didn’t really really

realize can we got up and this man had

eaten the equivalent of 18 doughnuts

he’s an extreme personality he is oh

it’s either All or Nothing all happen so

when he’s when he is eating healthy it

might as well be grass it’s just

literally dead boring yeah and then when

he fell when he decides to cheat I can’t

hang with him on my babe yeah yeah he

can go yes next question chocolate or

vanilla chocolate I’m horrible oh you

know what that’s a hard question

our son is shot likes chocolate she like

hurt anything sweet yeah but you

wouldn’t pick between chocolate vanilla

Oh give me both swirl I’m on vanilla

though our vanilla yeah okay all right

well Beach or mountain for a vacation

for example for me yeah which one which

one do you think yes his dream is to be

in the mountains for like Christmas

light with snow and all that so i’ma go

in mountains since that’s what he would

like okay I to do beach yeah I’m beat

each girl yeah okay would you prefer to

live in the city would he prefer to live

in the city or live like in the quiet

country city city boy right there

I think quiet country now that I get

older for yourself you would want to be

in the country really you didn’t know

that Tim yeah cuz it’s always been a

city like that’s been our like he’s like

when we get with all these kids we go

we’re going to get it we’re going to get

a condo in the city we can walk

everywhere and so okay so you’ve changed

on me riding ponies and

as opposed to horses you want to get on

is that if the big horses up come with

the poem okay we answer for taming you

country she’s country after country girl

and what I have to have city amenities

you have to have HDTV so it needs to be

some more clothes

yeah Wi-Fi yeah lady a minute yes cue

drama or comedy ball analogy both

sitcoms movies of oh I thought you miss

personality you like both oh yeah yeah

we both like robots yeah is there

anything if you could pick one piece of

advice for a couple that wants to be in

love and in like 20 years down the road

so the couple that just got married a

year ago and they need to know what they

could do to keep the fire burning for 20

years what would that one piece of

advice be in 30 seconds once from you

and one from you Tammy I would say to

the woman without performing without

that being yourself make him feel like

he can fly make him feel like he’s a

superhero and he’ll always come save

your day have you all seen those

Instagram images going around with

Kermit yeah bad karma will play

something and then he’ll go with the

teeth that’s what that reminded me go

ahead to 30 seconds okay I would say the

key word that you just said was like

like in a lot of times we we marry

because we you know we love them but we

don’t necessarily really know the person

to believe like them and then you know

the like is it’s continuing I mean like

I said earlier I’m not the same person

that I was at 25 that I meant

46 and you grow and you change together

because you’re going to be different

you’re going to change and I think the

key is to change to get a lot of people

you end up hearing you know we just grew

out of love and yeah they probably did

change but you know we’ve made it our

business to change together we we sit

and we talk about you know hey I’m not I

like to renegotiate that’s my word I

like to use I like to renegotiate this

as I’m a different person yeah yeah so

now now we disagreed negotiate now she

didn’t come home

[Laughter]

[Applause]

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