he don’t have his hat on what

I tell you that much I just took it off

he don’t have his hand why you take it

off because you had a meeting because I

had a meeting I had to get you know I

brush my weight the Hat was not

appropriate it was very the Hat was not

appropriate one thing I can guarantee

you is that the streets have spoken and

they probably know what you’re talking

about they do let me tell you go to PT’s

page and see PT’s little hat what’s your

hat say man of God Charlemagne said it

perfectly Charlemagne

you didn’t even remember

he poured it as a bum hey hey

love you love you too

the hat is not anointed Stefan don’t

don’t be a spiritual son

I said freak on it and we didn’t enjoy

it

he must have turned I said excuse me

what is on your hat

and why is it on your hat make it make

sense

what’s up loves

and all of the above oh they’re out

or is Devon going to vouch for his mans

you know Bros be trying to stick

together D you in the hot seat you in

the high speed I see it I just sat down

how could it be hot already

your man your friend warmed it up before

you got here dude what was he talking

about I missed it

so we took our children to school you

know we’re trying to give them a

wholesome upbringing and we got back

from taking the kids to school he gets

out the car he hasn’t had him his has

his freak with a Nike sign underneath it

that’s for Giannis

but unless you were saying hey baby

that’s our code word you shouldn’t be

putting on a hat

oh no I know the Holy Ghost I know

Holiness is right I don’t know who

Giannis is I don’t know nothing about

that

man in trouble how are you I was doing

good I’m doing good that’s all right let

him be a Giannis you know I tend to

combo fan that’s cool nothing wrong with

that and make sure that

depends on you know

I was going somewhere we wasn’t

oh man good to see you so excited about

woman evolved thank you so much for

coming I know you’re super crazy

no of course I’m I’m honored I’m excited

you know everybody’s buzzing about it

you know I mean I just keep hearing like

it’s already almost sold out yeah people

I mean come on you know it’s it’s

amazing to be a part of this you know we

have never had a men’s panel like we’ve

had a singles panel we’ve had

relationship conversations but we’ve

never had exclusively a men’s panel at

woman evolve which I’m gonna be honest I

kind of went back and forth because it

is such like a sacred environment for

women but also we cannot separate a

world in which women are engaging with

men whether they are in relationships

their friends their brothers their

co-workers their leading in the same

Industries and so I thought it would be

powerful to have a conversation with men

about how a woman taking her place uh

whether that be in a board room or

changing how they have come to be known

in their households what effect that has

on men so I know that you cannot speak

on all of the men in the world so I’m

not going to set you up for failure but

I am curious you are in the

entertainment industry I think over the

course of I’ll say the last maybe 10

years even if I don’t even know if it’s

been 10 years we have seen women really

take positions in producing and having

necessary conversations that hold men

accountable they have broken up in my

opinion the good old boys club came in

there and said hey we have stories we

have

um concerns about the way things are ran

and as a result we have certainly from

the outside looking in I’m not in the

industry say this shift and I think the

the stories that are being told and the

way men are held accountable so I want

to know from your perspective what has

it been like as an industry Insider to

see the way the woman has evolved from

your perspective

well you know I’ve been in entertainment

for 20 man almost like 27 years so you

know ever since I was 18 years old so

the evolution of women in entertainment

uh has been significant you know when

you look at you know how many women are

writing directing producing acting uh

leading companies I mean one of the top

Executives in our business is Donna

Langley who’s a woman who runs the

universal uh pictures and now Universal

television and so there’s so much

Evolution that has happened in

entertainment as relates to women uh but

even with that being said there’s still

so much more that needs to happen I’m a

governor for the Academy of Motion

Pictures Arts and Sciences and I chair

our equity and inclusion committee and

that’s all about looking at these issues

not only as it relates to women but also

uh diversity and representation and

while there’s been a lot of evolution uh

the numbers are still not as strong as

they could be and so you know for for me

you know as a as a producer you know all

of my movies have been directed by women

because you know I want to be an

advocate and an ally to Champion women

in uh in entertainment uh my most recent

film flaming hot was directed by Eva

Longoria that’s the first film that

she’s ever directed I’m getting ready to

make um Mike Todd’s movie you know

relationship goals we’re getting ready

to make that movie and I’m hiring a

female director to direct that so for me

as a man it’s about being an advocate

and it’s also about using my hiring

power to help women evolve in every way

that I can what do you think is

different now as it relates to the way

the woman is received

started well I think I think back then

it was just it was like oh that’s just

the way things are you know men are are

you know in control and this is the way

it is and Hollywood is dominated in that

way and it was just satisfy you know it

wasn’t really questioned it wasn’t

really challenged so now you know

especially the metoo movement did a lot

in terms of progress for women uh you

know in our business you know given what

so many women have been subjected to

over the years and decades uh you know

of entertainment you know certainly me

too really helped so when I see the

state of things today again not

completely Equitable but from my vantage

point you know it seems like those ideas

of oh that’s just the way it is that

those have gone by the wayside you know

everyone is questioning well why is it

that way you know why are women and

people of color historically kept down

in our business that doesn’t have to be

and let’s continue to uh you know

Advocate and fight for change now

for seeing the woman be all that she can

be do you think that does give you a bit

of a disposition about wanting to see

woman’s women Excel and seeing them

properly because you have so many

powerful women in your life absolutely

you know being raised by my mother and

my grandmother my grandmother’s Seven

Sisters uh that was a lot of women and

uh I certainly gave me a front row seat

to uh

the contributions of women the

creativity of women uh and then also the

the the frustration of women right where

it’s like not always getting uh the

opportunities uh just because of their

gender and so certainly being raised by

women you know and bringing that

approach into this business and bringing

that approach into what I do it

definitely gives me a lot more care

consideration

um about like okay let me be sensitive

to this let me be an ally let me be an

advocate you know as a man uh you know

as a black man uh and certainly I think

being raised by women laid the

foundation for that now you’ve been

cutting up

yeah we got

we got something patented up you are

liberating the people you are giving

them wisdom and perspective and let me

tell you I already saw somebody say like

hope the man keeps the same energy in

his messages as when he comes to woman

evolved because you were saying things

that I will say as a woman that I’ve

tried to say with my platform that A

Woman’s Worth and her value has so much

more to do with uh so much more to do

with who she is than it does with who

she’s in relationship with and I know

that many of the choices that I made

growing up had to do with me believing

that my worth and validation could only

come from me finding the man and you

know just once I got the man you know

the teen pregnancy wouldn’t matter once

I got married I would be seen as

virtuous in the Proverbs 31 Woman and

everything has been built up around this

idea of like needing to be in

relationships so once I finally got

divorced I had to do a lot of work with

really seeing my value outside of the

context of relationships see what I

bring to the table in spite of all of

the things that may be devalued by

someone else like I had to find that

value Within Myself I had to turn what

God said about me and so as a woman I’ve

been empowering women to do the same it

is not very often that we see men

liberating women from the notion that

they need a man or how they need to

treat him in or how they need to talk to

a man and you were out here kicking up

some dust can we talk a little bit

about how you are empowering not just

men not just women but men as well to

really find a sense of wholeness and a

sense of purpose even if that means that

they’re no longer in relationships yeah

I mean you know it’s it’s interesting

because hearing you talk in what you

have navigated you know in your life and

then coming out of the divorce and so me

what I’ve navigated in my life you know

and coming out of divorce as well and

and really what I had to do was sift and

sort through okay well how did I get

here yeah what what what did I get right

what did I get wrong what were the wrong

assumptions that I made about myself

about marriage prior to getting married

and so sifting and sorting and searching

the word and and going to therapy is

what kind of gave me this understanding

of like oh got it I really may not have

been as good as I could have been in the

couple because I wasn’t a great single

right I wasn’t really focusing on who I

was what what I who I was as a person

not what I did professionally right

professional Focus has never been from

personal Focus was the issue

understanding who I am what I like what

what makes me tick and then not only

understand that but then loving that

person right so for me I had to learn

that and then when I went back to

scripture I said wait a minute God

didn’t create the couple uh initially he

created two individuals that became a

couple and I was like wow we’re all one

of one okay and neither of their status

in identity is based upon being with one

another Adam is Adam Eve is Eve and

together they are Adam and Eve but they

each have that individual identity and

that began to speak to me and so as much

as it was about you know liberating

women was also about liberating myself

just to be quite honest with you uh

because growing up as a middle child and

of three boys you know I always

struggled with finding like who am I

what what’s my value what’s my worth and

so coming out of the divorce as

difficult as it has been it was also

empowering because I said oh wait a

minute if we can become better singles

and find the power of that identity not

finding our identity and Power in

relationship to anyone else other than

ourself and God now that is what will

change the game with our relationships

because if I know who I am and I have a

strong sense of self as an as an

individual and I’m one of one and then I

find somebody and they have a strong

sense of self and they’re an individual

and they’re one of one then one of one

with one of one makes us one of one yeah

right now we can learn how to be an

individual together because we

understood what it meant to be an

individual separately and that is the

key to this message and I’ve just been

so passionate about it because I think

that if maybe I had been a better single

right I may have been better in a couple

and maybe they’ve been different so you

you know for me I’m I’m empowered to

teach this message because I don’t want

anyone else living another moment being

down desperate depressed because they’re

not in a relationship because then they

buy into the idea that if I’m in a

relationship like you were just saying

if I’m in a relationship you know

everything’s going to be solved it won’t

Whatever problems that I’m not

addressing as an individual as a single

when I’m in a couple of those problems

I’m only going to get magnified they

don’t go away whatever I think a

happiness is going to bring me in a

relationship if I’m not happy now I’m

not going to be happy then so so much of

it for me was unpacking the myths that I

had going into marriage wanting to just

grow and heal myself and help as many

people as I possibly can and so as a man

to be able to say some of the things

I’ve said it really comes from a place

of me doing my own healing work and

wanting others to do the same last thing

I’ll say is I come across so many people

that have bought into this idea

especially in the church search that if

I could just find the right person well

the right person is looking right back

at you in the mirror the right person is

the person when you take out that selfie

that’s the right person find yourself

get on the path of finding who you are

who God has created you to be and that

then puts us on a path to align with

whoever may be the right fit at the

right time but let’s not exchange

happiness in the moment for happiness in

a day that may never come you know I

just had this like image as you were

talking it like of someone like standing

in the mirror of a public bathroom and

it looks like it’s just you in there and

then someone else comes along and they

start standing in the mirror and you’re

like wait a minute there’s someone else

here I think that’s very much so when

you start looking at yourself focusing

on the ways that you can develop and

grow instead of breaking that focus on

yourself to go and find someone if you

stay in that mirror someone else is

going to be looking in that mirror too

and at the right time you’re gonna look

up and be like hey look at us both of us

in the mirror now let’s see what we’re

looking at when we’re staring at each

other that makes me very hopeful or just

keep looking at yourself and follow up

don’t worry about nobody it’s your

choice you get to choose those things

but Dee I have to tell you um I have a

lot of single friends I am not in you

know that’s not my Ministry God has

blessed me but um

you know D I’m gonna tell you they tell

me that there’s p in the dating pool

these are not my words these are their

words they say

they say

it feels yellow in the dating pool okay

okay and

um I want to know most of them say that

when they’re dating someone if he is

successful that if he has not reached a

certain place in his career that he is

hesitant to be in a serious relationship

because he wants to focus on his career

and once he gets there then he may be

open to having a relationship now that

we see even more focus on this emotional

wellness and mental Wellness I am

wondering if the pursuit of not just

professional success but now emotional

and mental and spiritual Wellness is

going to be another thing that keeps a

man from saying if I cannot arrive to

this point then I don’t want to invite

someone in on the journey when we have

women who are like hey you know I will

help you climb the ladder I will you

know be with you as you’re going through

that trauma and I will support you with

it where do you think this disconnect is

between you know some women who are

ready and then some men who are still

pursuing in such a way that they can’t

make space for anyone else well you know

this is this is why I am just so

passionate about the one-on-one message

because what happens is our culture

twists things in a way where as men we

buy into a false ideology and I believe

at times women bind to a false ideology

as well so here’s what I mean so you go

back to Genesis you know God creates

Adam and then he says Adam God says to

Adam it’s not good for the man to be

alone it’s not good for the man to be

without support So then he sends but

what he does first is if you go back to

Genesis 1 the creation of Eve is not the

answer the first thing that God does is

create the birds and the beasts and says

Adam you go explore and you name all the

animals as Adam is exploring he then

comes to his own conclusion that a

suitable helper has not been found now

pause here’s the thing as men I do

believe it is important for us to have

to explore explore this thing called

life explore self explore who you are

explore what you want the thing that I

think gets messed up is we tend to put

these false things in our exploration

well I need to be at a certain place I

need a certain type of job I need to

have a certain level of money and you

have a certain type of influence where

in scripture does that say that if

anything is a key that finds a wife

finds a good thing it obtains the favor

of the Lord it doesn’t say he that finds

a wife when you are making six figures

it doesn’t say he who finds a wife when

you have the job you’ve been your dream

job he doesn’t say that it just says

whenever you find that partner you find

a good thing and then you attain the

favor of the Lord so what happens as a

man if even if I’m a Christian man and I

buy into the ideology that I’ve got to

have a certain job I gotta make a

certain amount of money I gotta achieve

certain things in the world what happens

is that we have there’s a Temptation for

the woman we end up with

being uh what’s the word

um in adornment like like an assessment

that’s to read to our success and

partner in it

because we’re saying Hey I want to get

my life just the way I want I want the

right car the right the right job the

right you know paycheck and then I will

add like an accessory the woman and to

me that is where we as men go wrong now

here’s one of the things I will also say

in terms of going on the women’s side A

lot of times men feel the pressure of

needing to achieve a certain thing and

have a certain amount of money because

of what the culture is saying that women

want well you know she she needs me to

be this or she needs me to be that now

again I’m not saying that there isn’t

some truth to that but for me I’m like

how do we break down these myths as for

men I do believe that going back to

scripture

when Adam came to the conclusion that I

had not found a suitable helper that’s

when God said okay I got something for

you and God then created Eve so Adam on

his path made a decision about when he

was ready okay now I’ve got something

for

for you and when you look at Eve he

doesn’t come into the Earth saying Hey

where’s where’s my man Eve comes into

the Earth you know both ribs intact hole

just truly in her power and then Adam’s

like wow now this is bone of my bone now

this is flesh in my flesh why all this

is so relevant is because when you talk

about pee in the dating pool right he’s

like here’s one of the things that we

got to be careful about

uh it’s funny but whatever we speak

against we can’t speak for

[Music]

so if I allow out of my my mouth to say

there’s p in the dating pool

then every decision I make will be based

upon the fact that I don’t believe

there’s someone good out here for me

because all of my experiences before now

I’m using that to dictate my future

experiences versus saying you know what

dating can be crazy but I believe God

has the right one for me at the right

time you know it’s like there my Epp in

the dating pool but God’s about to put

some chlorine in this thing right he’s

about to clean this thing up

if you clean this thing up you know

because I’m not because the thing about

our words are important so I don’t want

someone who is ready to receive love to

speak against the very you know

institution that can bring love which is

dating so yes dating is crazy and I can

tell you being back in these dating

streets is it’s a it’s a whole another

thing okay but

not speaking negative about it I’m not

going to speak a negative word about my

love life I’m not going to speak a

negative word about the options that are

available we serve a God who has

infinite possibilities so just because I

haven’t met that person or someone who

may say pee in the dating pool just

because you haven’t met him yet doesn’t

mean you won’t yeah just because you

haven’t found the right situation yet

doesn’t mean it’s not possible but the

moment you speak against it you could be

speaking against what God is trying to

speak for you

do you think and I’m asking this because

everything statistically is showing us

that women are outpacing men in

education professionally in many aspects

as well could you personally date

someone who was obviously more

professionally successful than you are

and still be confident because a lot of

women are concerned that if I pursue

this careers men are going to be so

intimidated that if they don’t make as

much or don’t make more then they won’t

be able to be connected to me but listen

before I got married Megan was was way

more successful uh you know and had more

money than I did and I said thank the

Lord I said amen I had no problem with

it

I said Thank You Lord Lord hey Lord

you’re right

oh no I hey I I think that’s that can be

an ego thing and I think that you know I

did a a post yesterday where I’m saying

our ego can really disrupt our love life

because you know we bring these ideas

you know into

uh dating about ego which ain’t got

nothing to do with nothing right it’s

like no like no I’m not going to let my

ego if God brings me love and that takes

the form of somebody making more money

than me and having a different job God

bless hey when to become one okay so

that them two bank accounts Become One

bank account so amen

foreign

okay so a couple more questions I want

to know what is it that you

see about women and their potential and

what they bring into rooms what they

bring into families that you don’t think

that they fully understand how impactful

it is

yeah you know what I think um what women

bring is an innate power

is I mean and I think that’s what the

culture the culture profits off of

getting women to not believe that and to

not claim that every woman that I know

when they step into a relationship when

they step into a room when they step

into a store bring power

because the women are the last creation

of God

the most powerful thing we have men

can’t bring life into the world in that

way don’t get me wrong we still have a

role in but women carrying life

that’s a powerful statement that’s a

powerful position and so often in my

experience

I was talking to a you know a friend of

mine who you know is a woman and you

know is dealing with the job situation

and it came to wanting more money an

equitable pay and uh you know she was

afraid to ask for what she wanted and I

said why are you afraid

you don’t understand you are powerful

you have value go fight for your value

well what if they get upset let them get

upset

I would rather you upset your boss

because you have a high value of

yourself than to stay quiet and accept

less because I promise if you accept

less they’re gonna give you less so to

me when you ask that question it’s power

that’s what every woman I know brings

into a situation no matter what the

situation is and that’s one thing that

in my experience I wish more women were

understanding of you are powerful you

have authority even when it comes to

dating is it the women got all the power

and more what do you mean by this what

is our power here

because at the end of the day you know

as men most of most of what we do is

because we want to get the right woman I

mean you know what I mean what we dress

what we wear what we say and at the end

of the day a woman doesn’t want to say

no not you not you you know so at the

end of the day women to me have the

power but but when we flip it and it’s

like nah nah y’all ain’t power we in

power it’s like wait a minute we both

have power it great to share that power

but I do feel in our culture there’s a

there’s a there’s a people profit from

women disempowered or believing that

they are disempowered and that’s

something that I I definitely feel

passionate about changing okay uh last

question because I know I promise I

think I said 30 minutes

um

our men as insecure as we think they are

now then how do I want to ask this

because like I think that part of how

you know men have been elevated in

culture and Societies in different

fields is that they come off as like so

confident they don’t it doesn’t seem

like they have these like body issues

that we have that they’re not worried

about their skin like there are things

that like men can get away with doing

things that a woman has to work twice as

hard in order to be considered relevant

worthy beautiful like what what types of

insecurities do men have like where are

they oh man that’s the thing we got a

lot of them we got a lot of insecurities

and I think that’s kind of the myth that

we as men don’t you know how what we

look you know how we look you know what

I mean like hey do I look you know am I

fit enough for the right woman you know

um you know how I come across in in the

public I mean there are so many men that

I know you know who are single that say

okay you know I want to present myself

uh the right way you know publicly I

want to be a man that women would want

and desire to be with and uh you know

and also sometimes as a man

there’s a lot of pain that we go through

coming up in life you know be a man stop

crying

right be a man you know and so we buy

into this ideology of what it means to

be a man which puts us in a box in that

box in my experience breaks us

so a lot of those insecurities come

because we know we don’t fit in the in

any box but when we’re trying to live in

a box we know there’s something in us

that doesn’t cannot be contained by the

definitions that that Society is giving

us as men so those insecurities like I

said take the form of you know how we

look how we speak how we act and then

this idea and women I know deal with

this as well but men do too

are we good enough

are we good enough and that is a

question I know that I dealt with and

I’ve navigated you know for years am I

good enough am I good enough for the

best that God has am I good enough to be

loved am I good enough to you know have

the career that I believe I can have and

so there are so many insecurities with

men and the greatest one in my

experience has a lot to do with our

purpose what we were created to do

as men when you first when you meet

another man right most thing first thing

you say is well what do you do right

like and as men if we aren’t doing the

thing that brings us confidence then we

tend to be very insecure in that area

and so a lot of it has to do with

purpose being in our purpose aligning

with our assignment that helps mitigate

some of those insecurities but I want to

be very clear men are more insecure at

times than we ever let off right because

we’re taught not to express our emotions

so if I’m feeling insecure about

something most time I’m going to be

quiet

you know what I mean or I might give you

the silent treatment but the truth of

the matter is I feel insecure next to

you or I feel insecure because I’m not

where I want to be in my career so as a

result I’m a little shaky this is why I

go back to one of one right okay when

you’re one of one when I’m one of one

we can’t allow where we are in our

career to dictate our happiness

as men we got to find contentment and

peace in just being the man that God

created us to be

and ultimately whatever we do let that

be an outgrow out of our internal

confidence our internal power our

internal security that to me is the path

in the process that really allows us as

men to have the peace we’re looking for

because a lot of those insecurities are

so prevalent and this is why as men you

know we will deal with those

insecurities through you know sports

right we’re like in terms of just

checking out watching sports being into

sports because we are like we got to

live vicariously through other men who

are doing what we wish we could do

instead of sometimes finding that within

ourselves and then really going before

God with those insecurities and here’s

the last thing I’m going to say

one of the areas that men can be

insecure is in our ability to express

ourselves and be emotional right so if

we’re with somebody and we are being

vulnerable and that person laughs at our

vulnerability that person judges our

vulnerability that person talks down to

our vulnerability that usually will be

the last time we would ever be

comfortable being that vulnerable again

so part of the insecurities these are a

number of the insecurities that I know

I’ve dealt with at times I know other

men deal with and I think it’s okay to

talk about it that’s why I love what

you’re doing I love your platform I love

uh the conference because for us as men

to get a chance on your platform and at

this at your conference to be able to

talk about these issues and to give the

women that are their insight to help

improve our Dynamic I think that’s

that’s powerful and it’s long overdue uh

thank you I don’t know if you noticed

but I was really intentional about

having like every decade represented so

we’ve got 20 20 year old men 30 year old

man 40 reasons 40s 50s 60s because I

want to get every perspective of manhood

possible from starting off in life and

still building and finding yourself to

being a little bit more subtle to even

fatherhood because I think the

intergenerational shift that takes place

in manhood is so important to explore

and we want to talk about like how do we

cultivate safe spaces for the men in our

lives how do we advocate for ourselves

without threatening the men in our lives

how do we have better communication so

that we are being seen and not as a

project when it comes to some of the men

in our lives so I’m just excited about

all of the things we’re going to explore

if you are not registered like we are

down to our last I think there’s just

like a few hundred tickets left

um so if you want to be in the room make

sure you head over to woman evolved

conference.com you do not want to miss

it we are a little under three weeks

away now and I just cannot wait to see

what’s going to happen in the room D

before we go would you pray for the

people who are watching who want to be

one of one but right now they don’t have

yeah so let’s do it dear heavenly father

we thank you dear Lord right now for

anyone watching this live I pray if

you’re watching this live you would know

this is a Divine appointment this is not

random you didn’t just randomly click on

the the notification that we were live

you’re here because your spirit and God

sent you here so I pray if you’re

listening to this prayer that you would

know that you are one of one that you

are worthy that you are valuable that

you are valued that you are loved and

you are loved I pray if you’re listening

to this prayer you would no longer be on

the search for something that you

already have which is Love Yourself

identity power favor you have it I pray

if you’re listening to this live that

you would begin to take the steps that

you need to take to become the strongest

individual possible and I pray that if

you want a relationship nothing wrong

with that but allow the relationship to

come in God’s time and don’t spend

another day depressed down angry

frustrated or mad that you don’t have

the right person as long as you align

with the assignment over your life if

God has a person for you that person is

on the path of your assignment not away

from it I pray right now if anyone

listen to this prayer that you would

know you are amazing and you are

wonderful in the name of Jesus we pray

amen amen thank you so much thank you

for all that you are doing in the

industry thank you for all that you were

doing at one I haven’t been at one but I

watch one online like I’m literally one

online family at this point but I will

be back in La soon but just thank you

for how you’re sharing your journey with

us and allowing us all to be inspired it

means a lot I can’t wait to see you in a

couple weeks can’t wait to see you God

bless you as always