If there is one thing that can keep you from the destiny that God wants to take you to, it’s unforgiveness. Tony Evans says too many of us are choosing to keep carrying the pain of the past. In this lesson, experience the freedom of forgiveness so that God can lead you to what He has in store for you.
but we all need both words
because we need to be forgiven and we
need to forgive
he says and when you do your father who
is in heaven will forgive you he’s not
talking about your salvation
he’s talking about your fellowship your
harmony your experience with him you no
longer walk in darkness john chapter one
says you’re now living in the light
you’re in the light of the supernatural
your gps is working now he can move you
on to the place he’s taking you
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
a lot of us are not reaching our
destination because we’re still carrying
the pain of the past
the weightiness of yesterday
is still weighing us down
causing us pain today
keeping us from the place
god wants us to arrive at
unforgiveness is that one area
that must be addressed
if you’re going to reach your destiny
if anybody had a right to be angry
bitter and hold a grudge
it was joseph
a dysfunctional family a dysfunctional
father
put in
a pit sold into slavery
seduced
unjustly jailed forgotten in jail
if anybody had a right to be
mad
if anybody had a right to say life is
not fair
it was joseph
joseph occupies
from chapter 37 to chapter 50 of the
book of genesis so god wanted us to
zero in on this man’s life he gave so
much of the first book of the bible to
it
because he wanted to show us
the key to destiny
and one of the things that joseph was
going to have to grapple with
that you and i will have to grapple with
if we’re ever going to get through the
detours and arrive at
god’s design for our lives destiny his
purpose
for our creation and our salvation
if you’re going to finish life having
fulfilled the reason why god left you
here
then you’re going to have to we’re going
to have to deal with
the issue of forgiveness
joseph had to deal with it
in fact look at verse 15 of chapter 50.
when joseph’s brothers saw that their
father was dead they said
what if joseph bears a grudge against us
and pays us back in full
for all the wrong which we did to him
so they sent the message to joseph
saying your father charged before he
died saying thus shall you say to joseph
please forgive i beg you the
transgression of your brothers
and their sin
for they did you wrong
and now please forgive the transgression
of the servants of the god of your
father and joseph wept when they spoke
to him
he had to face the issue of forgiveness
many of us are being hindered from our
destiny
because we’re being held hostage by a
leash around our souls called
unforgiveness
and that leash keeps jerking us back
maybe it was something that happened in
your childhood
maybe it was an abusive mate maybe you
were forsaken neglected
abused wrongly fired
it could be a multitude of things
whatever it is though
it’s holding you hostage
today we want to see you set free
so let’s start with the definition
regardless of how you feel because you
could be up or down relative to what
happened to you it is the decision
to no longer credit to the account of
the offender
when you and i sin against god or sin
against somebody else it’s like a cash
register going off and a debt is
incurred
it doesn’t mean you justify what went
wrong it doesn’t mean you excuse it it
doesn’t mean you pretend like it didn’t
happen it doesn’t mean like uh that uh
you you ignore it but it means you make
a decision
to no longer
relate to that person based on the
infraction
now let’s go deeper with this
understanding of forgiveness
forgiveness can operate on two levels
unilateral forgiveness
and transactional forgiveness
let’s talk about level number one
unilateral forgiveness
unilateral forgiveness is when you
forgive
and the person hasn’t asked for it
requested it or repented of what they
did to you
you are unilaterally that is on your own
without their involvement granting them
forgiveness
now why would you grant somebody
forgiveness who doesn’t even want it ask
for it and who certainly doesn’t deserve
it the reason you grant you the lateral
forgiveness is so that you can keep
going
unilateral forgiveness keeps you from
being hostage to something that the
other person may never ever get right
unilateral forgiveness is given for a
number of reasons
maybe the offense is so small it’s not a
big deal so you don’t even want to bring
it up
or maybe the person who has offended you
has died so they can’t say i’m sorry
so you see if you’re not willing to
unilaterally forgive you being held
hostage by a dead person until you die
since they can never make that thing
right
or maybe they’ve disappeared and you
don’t even know where they are anymore
so they cannot ask for forgiveness if
you do not unilaterally forgive
even though the person hasn’t asked for
it
then you’re held hostage by something
you can never change
when jesus was on the cross
he said father forgive them
they weren’t asking for it
but he granted it
because he was in the purposes of god
but then there is a
second level of forgiveness
transactional forgiveness
transactional forgiveness is where
there is a desire for reconciliation
and restoration of a relationship
it’s where the person who has offended
you is willing to confess and repent in
order to restore what was broken
that’s what i’m calling transactional
that’s why the bible regularly calls us
to repent
it causes us to repent in order to
reestablish the relationship so that’s
transactional forgiveness because it’s
reconciliation driven it’s restoring
something that has been broken
the brothers wanted to be forgiven
joseph’s brothers
but joseph didn’t take their word for it
because you know a person can say i’m
sorry and not mean it
a person can say i’m sorry because
somebody made them say it
a person can say i’m sorry because it’s
the thing to do
that’s why
confessions must be tested to see
whether they’re true repentance
and that’s exactly what he does
in chapter 42 he gives them a test he
says in verse 15
by this you will be tested
by the life of pharaoh
you shall not go out of this place
unless your youngest brother comes here
verse 16 of chapter 42 send one of you
that he may go get your brother while
you remain confined that your words may
be tested
if somebody says i’m sorry
put them to the test
he tests them again in chapter
43.
he puts his cup in benjamin’s bag and i
hope you’ve read the story we can’t go
over the details he puts the cup to see
whether they would return the cup
and to see whether they would protect
benjamin
or
throw him
to the dog house like they threw joseph
to the dog house he put him to the test
that’s why the bible says we want to see
fruits of repentance
that is something i can see
touch hear not just
i’m sorry
i’m sorry is a confession
repentance is a change of action
so if a person wants to restore
something that has been broken by their
offense
you want to see whether not only do they
confess that they did the offense
confession you want to see whether
there’s a change of action to prove they
were serious about the confession the
change of action is called repentance
repentance with god and with one another
opens up the door to some level
of restoring the relationship
if a person repents the goal should be
as much as possible restoring the
relationship
so the idea is that in forgiveness as
much as is possible when there is
repentance you want transactional
forgiveness that is you want to restore
to whatever
the situation allows
you want to
reboot
the
relationship
now
i want to show you in chapter 45
the steps you take to validate your own
forgiveness
chapter 45 verse one then joseph
could not control himself before all
those who stood before him
he cried
have everyone go out from me so that
there is no man with me when joseph made
himself known to his brothers
he wept so loudly that the egyptians
heard it and the household of pharaoh
heard of it
what did joseph do he sent all the
egyptians out of the room
when he confronted his brothers
and he wept
here’s how you know you’re serious about
forgiveness
you don’t bring other people in who have
nothing to do with the sin
he told all the egyptians y’all leave
y’all are not involved with this y’all
have nothing to do with this i’m going
to confront the offenders but y’all get
out
you always know a person who has not
forgiven because of the gossip
they bring people in who have nothing to
do with it who can’t fix it they can’t
resolve it they don’t even know about it
but i want to bring them into it because
i want to vent
because i’m seeking vengeance
true forgiveness does not bring people
into it who have nothing to do with it
leave the egyptians outside
now of course during this time he
unveils himself to his brothers so that
they now know it’s joseph which i think
means he showed them his circumcision
because that would have been the thing
to validate that he was his brother
since the jews were the only ones who
circumcised their young males so he
revealed to the fact that he was in fact
a jewish brother
but he also removed those who had
nothing at all to do with it
so if you are gossiping to everybody
else about the offense and the offendor
forgiveness has not
occurred secondly
you know you have forgiven
when you make the offender
feel at ease with you verse 4.
then joseph said to his brethren
please
come closer to me
ah
when you haven’t forgiven you say get
away from me
he says
come cle yo did me wrong
come close to me i i am now welcoming
you into my space
the next
thing that happens
verse 5
now do not be grieved or angry with
yourselves because you sold me here
the next thing that true forgiveness
will do
is it will help the offender to forgive
themselves
when they’ve asked you to forgive them
notice what he says
he says don’t
be angry
with yourself
they were upset with themselves of what
they had done because they repented we
taught my transactional forgiveness
they’ve said i’m sorry and have passed
the test and demonstrated they were
sorry so he says well let me help you
forgive yourself
in other words here’s what they didn’t
do keep guilt on top of guilt
they were already guilty they already
repented they didn’t heat more guilt on
top of the guilt so that they could feel
double guilt
he said don’t be angry with yourselves
now i know the question is how can you
do that
how can you do that
it goes back to your view of god
remember last sermon providence
look at what he says after he tells them
don’t be angry with themselves in verse
5. in verse 5 he says
you sowed me here
for god
sent me here
oh
you sowed but god sent
see when you have a view of god
that he even uses the mess that nest
over you to take you to your destiny it
enables you to help the guilty people to
forgive themselves because god used
their wrong to promote you to where he
wanted you to be
but if you don’t have that view of god
you’re going to be seeking your own
vengeance
he released them from
more guilt
because they were already seeking
transactional forgiveness
and then he did one more thing wow verse
9.
harry and go to my father joseph says
and say to him my father jacob
say to him thus says your son joseph
god has made me lord of all of egypt
come down to me
do not delay
i i want you to miss this he tells his
brothers
go back home
and tell daddy
i’m okay
up here
in egypt
wait a minute you mean you’re not gonna
tell him to go tell daddy what y’all did
to me
you’re not gonna go back and tell daddy
i want y’all go back and i want y’all to
tell daddy every little thing y’all did
to me how you did it i want you to go
tell daddy what he did was he protected
them from the one who would have been
hurt most by it
because he was seeking transactional
forgiveness
if you’re holding on
to vengeance
watch this
then you are blocking god from taking
care of it for you
if you’re trying to pay them back
yourself
then god will let you pay them back
yourself
but god will stay out of it
the scripture says vengeance is mine
saith the lord and i will repay
god believes in justice he believes in
payback his way his time
and he does it without your help
i’m not talking about somebody who
breaks the law that’s a legal issue it
should be addressed but we’re talking
about personal
vengeance
he says
that i will repay
and if you read the story you’ll find
out he did
take judah
and i read that i want to talk about
judah is because he was the lead guy who
got joseph put in the hole to begin with
when he was 17.
because when you read the story of judah
in the middle of the story of joseph
judah starts losing his sons to death
he gets tricked by his daughter-in-law
has an affair with his daughter-in-law
giving birth to a child from his own
daughter-in-law his whole life crumbles
because god will
repay but if you don’t believe that
then you get to pay it without god
but if you believe that
then you know vengeance is mine
and you know when god moves
he moves
what
helped joseph to forgive
this was a painful situation he’s lived
through
and there are many here who have lived
through or maybe are living through
the pain of yesterday and it’s a deep
wound
on your soul in your body with your
career
wasn’t right it wasn’t fair y’all did me
wrong whatever that
thing was
what helped him to forgive
i want you to look at chapter 41
and i want to show you what set him up
for forgiveness
and you have it
for you too
watch this verse 50 through 52.
now before the year of famine came
two sons were born to joseph
whom smith the daughter of potiphara
priest of own bore to him
joseph named the firstborn manasseh
for he said god has made me forget all
my trouble and all my father’s household
he named the second ephraim for he said
god has made me fruitful in the land of
my affliction
god set him up for forgiveness
because guess what god did
he gave him another family
remember his family messed him up
he gave him a whole new family and he
said my new family helped me forget my
old family
and the way he kept reminding himself
that he was no longer hostage to his old
family
was in naming his kids
he named one manasseh and one ephraim so
if you want to get over the past have a
baby
get spiritually pregnant
and have a baby
baby number one is manasseh
manasseh means god has helped me to
forget my troubles
so you need a manasseh in your life
something that is a daily ongoing
reminder
so that god is reminding you that you
can overcome the pain
but to help manasseh out
you need to have a second baby
ephraim
ephraim means god has made me fruitful
watch this now
and he says in the land of my affliction
god has made me fruitful okay manasseh
god has caused me to forget that is the
pain
ephraim
he’s blessing me where i am right now
see if you get so locked into the past
that you don’t see the goodness of god
that he is showing you right now
see you need to say manasseh but then
you got to turn and look at ephraim
because ephraim says oh well what that
happened to me yesterday but god is
providing for me today he’s blessing me
today he’s taking care of me today and
even though i had a bad yesterday my
baby’s name is ephraim today
and i like this he says he’s blessed me
in the land of my affliction manasseh
and ephraim
and you call their names every day
it will release you from the pain of the
past it doesn’t excuse the pain it
releases you from the pain of the past
to be fruitful in a place you didn’t
ever expect to be in in a location you
never thought you’d be in in a situation
you never thought you’d be single but he
walked out on you you never thought
you’d be uh out of that career but but
but god has made you fruitful in the
place where he has you
so do me a favor and go out today and
have two babies
manasseh
god gave him a new situation in a place
he didn’t expect to be
didn’t excuse a thing
what happens if you forgive
forgiveness
crosses you over to the supernatural let
me reverse it
unforgiveness
blocks you from the supernatural
lord’s prayer matthew 6 forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who
trespass against us you read further in
the chapter and he says for if you do
not forgive you will not be forgiven
in other words see
we all have to remember we got two sides
to our story
the need to forgive and the need to be
forgiven
there is very there are very few people
who need to forgive who don’t also need
to be forgiven
okay
forgiveness is a beautiful word when you
need it
it’s an ugly word when you have to give
it
but we all need both words
because we need to be forgiven and we
need to forgive
he says and when you do your father who
is in heaven will forgive you he’s not
talking about your salvation
he’s talking about your fellowship your
harmony your experience with him you no
longer walk in darkness john chapter 1
says you’re now living in the light
you’re in the light of the supernatural
your gps is working now he can move you
on to the place he’s taking you
god will recycle your pain
he believes in recycling
and he will recycle your pain to his
purpose
doesn’t excuse it vengeance is mine it
doesn’t say you ignore it not saying any
of that
i’m saying you have a providentially
sovereign god who can overrule it
and fulfill his purposes in spite of it
and in fact use it for where he’s taking
you without excusing it
one of the things that can delay
your detours from arriving at god’s
design destination is unforgiveness
when we harbor unforgiveness we block
god’s movement in our lives
forgiveness doesn’t mean that
reconciliation automatically occurs
but it does mean you’re no longer
seeking vengeance against the
perpetrator
of
that which has caused you pain
vengeance’s mind saith the lord he will
repay
so don’t let unforgiveness stop god’s
work in your life remember
don’t destroy a bridge over which you
yourself will have to cross one day
we all need forgiveness god wants us
also to forgive forgiveness
so that we’re imitating him
in our relationship with others
[Music]
[Music]
you